Episode 7

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0:00:19 > 0:00:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:21 > 0:00:26Hello, hi. I'm Nick Grimshaw and this is Sweat The Small Stuff. Yeah!

0:00:35 > 0:00:39Hello. Hi, everyone. Welcome to Sweat The Small Stuff,

0:00:39 > 0:00:42the show that makes a big deal about all the little things in life,

0:00:42 > 0:00:45cos those little things are really worth sweating about.

0:00:45 > 0:00:47But I cannot do it alone, and I shan't do it alone,

0:00:47 > 0:00:50so let's meet our team captains.

0:00:50 > 0:00:52Shall I compare them to a summer's day,

0:00:52 > 0:00:56a symphony composed by Mozart, a Shakespearean sonnet?

0:00:56 > 0:00:59No, they are best described as the black Ashleigh and Pudsey -

0:00:59 > 0:01:04it's Rickie Haywood-Williams and Melvin O'Doom.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:06 > 0:01:08Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi.

0:01:08 > 0:01:13Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait - who's Ashleigh and who's Pudsey, though?

0:01:13 > 0:01:15You're Ashleigh, you're Pudsey.

0:01:15 > 0:01:19Let's meet your team-mates this week.

0:01:19 > 0:01:22On Rickie's team, it's two-fifths of The Wanted who are sweating it

0:01:22 > 0:01:25because they are still trying to work out that fraction.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27It's Jay and Max from The Wanted.

0:01:27 > 0:01:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:31 > 0:01:35And joining them is a young comedian who is soon going to be filling

0:01:35 > 0:01:38an Olly Murs-shaped hole on the Xtra Factor.

0:01:38 > 0:01:39He's sweating it in case

0:01:39 > 0:01:42that's a euphemism for Caroline Flack's vagina.

0:01:42 > 0:01:44AUDIENCE GROANS

0:01:44 > 0:01:46Yeah. And it is. It's Matt Richardson.

0:01:46 > 0:01:49CHEERING

0:01:52 > 0:01:55I'm too old for her.

0:01:55 > 0:01:58Over... Oh, my God, she's going to hate you already.

0:01:58 > 0:02:01- Not even started.- She said, "Are you doing it with Grimmy?"

0:02:01 > 0:02:03She was like, "You two are going to fucking die

0:02:03 > 0:02:05"if you say anything about my vagina."

0:02:05 > 0:02:07- Too late!- Over on Melvin's team,

0:02:07 > 0:02:10two members of The Saturdays who are sweating it

0:02:10 > 0:02:13because they have been using the same contraception as Una,

0:02:13 > 0:02:14Frankie and Rochelle.

0:02:14 > 0:02:17It's Mollie and Vanessa, everybody.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19CHEERING

0:02:19 > 0:02:21We have joining them a TV presenter who fronts

0:02:21 > 0:02:23an anti-bullying campaign with Jedward.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26She is sweating it because she just can't stop bullying Jedward.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28It's Laura Whitmore.

0:02:28 > 0:02:32CHEERING

0:02:32 > 0:02:36- Look at Melvin's face.- So happy! - I've never seen him so happy.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38I've never seen anyone that happy.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41He looks like Eddie Murphy with some hookers.

0:02:41 > 0:02:44- Oh!- Hold on!

0:02:44 > 0:02:48- He didn't mean it! - We liked you before.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50Is this probably the best night of your life?

0:02:50 > 0:02:52Cos usually you just have two people,

0:02:52 > 0:02:54tonight you have three women.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57- And they are all glorious.- I know.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59I don't even like the faces of women, usually,

0:02:59 > 0:03:02but this is making me reassess my lifestyle choices.

0:03:03 > 0:03:06Also over here, look who we have,

0:03:06 > 0:03:08make some noise for this crew over here.

0:03:08 > 0:03:11CHEERING

0:03:11 > 0:03:13Max, your eyes, I can't even look in them.

0:03:13 > 0:03:17They are like rare turquoise diamonds.

0:03:17 > 0:03:19You are so gay.

0:03:21 > 0:03:23- Can't help it.- Vanessa, it says here

0:03:23 > 0:03:25that you have been sweating about the toilet seat.

0:03:25 > 0:03:28- Yeah.- Where do you go for a wee? A urinal?

0:03:29 > 0:03:33- Surprise!- Actually, girls are really bad at it.- What do you mean?

0:03:33 > 0:03:34Girls wee on the seat?

0:03:34 > 0:03:37Girls piss on the seat all the time, and it's disgusting.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39- What?! What?!- Whoa, whoa! - How do they do that? How?

0:03:39 > 0:03:42I don't know how you are getting it wrong, this is the thing.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44- I know why that happens sometimes. - Cos they are squatting?

0:03:44 > 0:03:47My friend, when we go out, she doesn't like to sit on toilet seats

0:03:47 > 0:03:49that aren't her own, so she hovers.

0:03:49 > 0:03:52You might miss the toilet seat, but I do think you should clean it up.

0:03:52 > 0:03:55When you mean they hover, how do they do it?

0:03:55 > 0:03:57Do they put their legs...?

0:03:57 > 0:04:00I'd like to think, like, one leg on that wall,

0:04:00 > 0:04:03one leg on that wall, and then edge them up.

0:04:05 > 0:04:06And then back up, like splits.

0:04:06 > 0:04:11- I have seen this happen, and it is something like that.- Like splits.

0:04:11 > 0:04:14OK. It's now time for Round One.

0:04:14 > 0:04:17As you know, Sweat The Small Stuff is all about the little things

0:04:17 > 0:04:20in life, and we were scouring the news this week and came across

0:04:20 > 0:04:24this tiny story about one of your band mates, actually, Max and Jay.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27This tiny story is all about your band mate Tom, and what a disgusting

0:04:27 > 0:04:32man he is because he has admitted to eating food out of a bin.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34AUDIENCE: Ugh!

0:04:34 > 0:04:36Does he really do this?

0:04:36 > 0:04:37Yeah.

0:04:39 > 0:04:42We told him not to do it, and eventually he did stop,

0:04:42 > 0:04:44- but then he started to eat out of shoeboxes.- What?

0:04:44 > 0:04:47- And that's still a habit now. - Instead of plates?

0:04:47 > 0:04:50Yeah, because he can't be arsed washing plates, what he does is,

0:04:50 > 0:04:54he cooks his food and just lobs it into a shoebox and...

0:04:54 > 0:04:56What?!

0:04:56 > 0:04:57There's a sort of standard.

0:04:57 > 0:05:01He wouldn't go soup or anything with a high moisture content.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04- OK.- Pizza, chicken Kiev, straight into a shoebox.

0:05:04 > 0:05:07What about when he slices that Kiev? All that moisture?

0:05:07 > 0:05:10Listen, I don't make the rules.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12But what do the great British public think?

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Do they think this is a normal thing?

0:05:14 > 0:05:17Do you think people eat out of bins, Mollie?

0:05:17 > 0:05:19I have been known to eat out of my own bin,

0:05:19 > 0:05:24purely for the fact of this - I live on my own, right?

0:05:24 > 0:05:26So if I order a Chinese takeaway,

0:05:26 > 0:05:28I've got to order standard prawn crackers.

0:05:28 > 0:05:31Now, I don't want to eat that whole bag of prawn crackers,

0:05:31 > 0:05:33- because it's a family size.- Yeah.

0:05:33 > 0:05:37So I eat a good portion and then I put them in the bin in their bag.

0:05:37 > 0:05:41And then you know how it is. An hour after the Chinese,

0:05:41 > 0:05:44you think, "I fancy one of those prawn crackers.

0:05:44 > 0:05:46"I'm going back in."

0:05:46 > 0:05:51I'm in the bin. Is there anything else you'd eat out of a bin?

0:05:51 > 0:05:54Erm... Well, the reason the prawn crackers...

0:05:54 > 0:05:56I'll be honest, a poppadom.

0:05:56 > 0:05:59They're the same family, essentially, aren't they?

0:05:59 > 0:06:00And they are still... Yeah.

0:06:00 > 0:06:04- I'd eat out of your bin any day of the week.- Whoa!

0:06:04 > 0:06:07I was talking about a real bin, guys, don't be filthy!

0:06:07 > 0:06:09Keep your head out the gutter!

0:06:09 > 0:06:11I reckon you've got a clean bin, though.

0:06:11 > 0:06:13- Mollie has got a real clean bin. - I do, yeah.

0:06:15 > 0:06:20- Are we still talking about bins? - APPLAUSE

0:06:20 > 0:06:23But do you think you can tell just by looking at someone's face

0:06:23 > 0:06:25whether or not they have ever eaten food

0:06:25 > 0:06:27out of a dustbin? Can you tell?

0:06:27 > 0:06:29- I reckon so. I reckon we could do it.- Yeah, I think so.- Yes.

0:06:29 > 0:06:31I put this to the test, so we rounded up some people

0:06:31 > 0:06:33on the street and asked them,

0:06:33 > 0:06:35"Have you ever eaten food out of a bin like Tom from The Wanted?"

0:06:35 > 0:06:37The way this is going to work is

0:06:37 > 0:06:39you'll see the person swear on this,

0:06:39 > 0:06:42the quiff of me. This is my quiff here.

0:06:42 > 0:06:44It's the holiest hair out there

0:06:44 > 0:06:46after that silver fox, the Pope. Hey, baby.

0:06:46 > 0:06:48We'll start with your team, Rickie.

0:06:48 > 0:06:50Let's have a look at our first victim on the street.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52- Have they ever eaten out of a bin? - A'ight.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56Hi, my name is Simon.

0:06:56 > 0:06:58I swear on the quiff of Grimmy to tell the whole truth.

0:06:58 > 0:07:01Have you ever eaten food out of a bin?

0:07:01 > 0:07:05- What do you think? - I definitely think he does.

0:07:05 > 0:07:08The thing is, there's bins in the background.

0:07:08 > 0:07:09He's probably eaten from there.

0:07:09 > 0:07:12He looks like he eats out of a bin, gets dressed out of a bin,

0:07:12 > 0:07:14washes in a bin.

0:07:15 > 0:07:17They are saying yes. Let's find out.

0:07:17 > 0:07:19- Yes.- What?- Chips.

0:07:21 > 0:07:24- Chips!- Standard.- Of course.

0:07:24 > 0:07:27Duh! Stupid! Who are you, the Queen?

0:07:27 > 0:07:29Let's have one for Melvin's team. Have a look at this person.

0:07:29 > 0:07:31Have they ever eaten out of the bin?

0:07:31 > 0:07:33Hi, my name is Mo.

0:07:33 > 0:07:36On the quiff of Grimmy I swear to tell the absolute truth.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38Have you ever eaten food out of a bin?

0:07:40 > 0:07:41Whoa!

0:07:43 > 0:07:46Well! This one seems really hard.

0:07:46 > 0:07:51Either he is saying no, or he's like, "How did you catch me?"

0:07:51 > 0:07:55- Yeah. "Did you see me?" - There's no way.- He looks offended.

0:07:55 > 0:07:58They're saying no. Have you ever eaten out of a bin?

0:07:58 > 0:08:00Hell no!

0:08:00 > 0:08:06Never. Have you? Taste nice? Nah. I wouldn't do such a thing.

0:08:06 > 0:08:10- ALL: Aww!- He'd never do such a thing, Mollie - trash.

0:08:10 > 0:08:12He's so sweet.

0:08:12 > 0:08:16Rickie's team. There's another one for you. Have a look at this person.

0:08:16 > 0:08:18Hi, I'm Roxy, and I swear on the quiff of Grimmy

0:08:18 > 0:08:19to tell the absolute truth.

0:08:19 > 0:08:23Have you ever eaten food out of a bin?

0:08:23 > 0:08:24AUDIENCE: Yes!

0:08:24 > 0:08:27She has, cos she is quite clearly half fox.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32- We're saying yes on this. - They are saying yes. Does she?

0:08:32 > 0:08:33Yes.

0:08:33 > 0:08:36- What was it? - I think it was an old cake.

0:08:38 > 0:08:43- An old cake?- Happy birthday to me!

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Melvin, here's one for you.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47Hi, my name is Sonia,

0:08:47 > 0:08:50and on the quiff of Grimmy, I swear I'll tell the truth.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52Have you ever eaten food out of a bin?

0:08:55 > 0:08:57I don't think she knows what a bin is.

0:08:57 > 0:08:58- No.- She looks so sweet. No way.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01She looks like she's about to knock that person out

0:09:01 > 0:09:02that has just asked her.

0:09:02 > 0:09:03"You stop me for this shit?"

0:09:03 > 0:09:05What do you think, guys?

0:09:05 > 0:09:07Again, though, she is lurking around the bins.

0:09:07 > 0:09:08What are we saying, then, guys?

0:09:08 > 0:09:10I would say I think she's going to go with no.

0:09:10 > 0:09:12- Me too.- Although I don't know if I trust it.

0:09:12 > 0:09:15Vanessa, you decide this one. What do you think?

0:09:15 > 0:09:18- It's like one of those, "No, but yeah, but no..."- No pressure.

0:09:18 > 0:09:21- It's no or yeah. - OK, we're going with no.

0:09:21 > 0:09:23You're going no. Vanessa is saying no.

0:09:23 > 0:09:26- Yes, at work.- What was it?

0:09:26 > 0:09:27Watermelon.

0:09:27 > 0:09:29- Why?- Cos it looked good.

0:09:31 > 0:09:35- Watermelon?- She's very specific.

0:09:35 > 0:09:38Anyway, thank you, guys. Thanks for playing On The Quiff Of Grimmy.

0:09:38 > 0:09:42- The quiff has to go, now. - APPLAUSE

0:09:44 > 0:09:48- Mark, I'm happy you came on the show.- Thanks for having me.

0:09:48 > 0:09:50What have you got against poofs?

0:09:50 > 0:09:53No, it's the things you put at the end of your sofa to put your feet up.

0:09:53 > 0:09:56- Poofs!- Pouffes! - Poofs!- Poofs.

0:09:56 > 0:09:59Yeah, because I've got a small gay man I put my feet up on.

0:09:59 > 0:10:02I love Modern Family. Sit down!

0:10:02 > 0:10:04- Why don't you like them? - I just think they are so pointless.

0:10:04 > 0:10:06Just put them up on the sofa, your feet.

0:10:06 > 0:10:07Yeah, that is true, actually.

0:10:07 > 0:10:10And they are £400, and a sofa is £800,

0:10:10 > 0:10:12and it's only a quarter of a sofa.

0:10:12 > 0:10:15- What is the correct pronunciation of that?- It's a "poofie".

0:10:15 > 0:10:16They prefer "homosexual", actually.

0:10:16 > 0:10:19- No, it's "pouffe", not a "poofie". - A puffin is a type of creature.

0:10:19 > 0:10:22No, that's a PUFFIN, Laura Whitmore.

0:10:22 > 0:10:25- So confused. - A puffin is a rock-based bird.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27- It's like what you sit on. - A cushion.

0:10:27 > 0:10:30- A cushion.- That's a "poofie".

0:10:30 > 0:10:33- A puffie?- No, not a puffie. - What is it?- A beanbag?

0:10:33 > 0:10:36- What do you guys call it? - AUDIENCE SHOUTS ANSWERS

0:10:36 > 0:10:39That a real man, there, screaming, "It's a footstool!"

0:10:41 > 0:10:45OK, time now for Rickie and Melvin - The Challenges.

0:10:45 > 0:10:48This is where each week I challenge our team captains to take

0:10:48 > 0:10:51a small sweat out into the streets and into the public domain.

0:10:51 > 0:10:54This week's sweat is about over-competitive people.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56Those people who always have to go one better than you,

0:10:56 > 0:10:59who lie and cheat at board games

0:10:59 > 0:11:02and get all in your face when they win. They are... I hate them people.

0:11:02 > 0:11:03Me too.

0:11:03 > 0:11:06This is Rickie and Melvin - The Challenges.

0:11:07 > 0:11:12- Toilet time means...? - BOTH: Challenge time.- Yay!

0:11:12 > 0:11:15This week I'm going to send you two out to become overly competitive -

0:11:15 > 0:11:18those annoying people that have to win.

0:11:18 > 0:11:22I'm going to send you out to a library and a bingo hall

0:11:22 > 0:11:24and you're going to be competitive.

0:11:24 > 0:11:28Whoever completes the most tasks in these envelopes wins

0:11:28 > 0:11:30a massive point for their team.

0:11:30 > 0:11:31Go get competitive!

0:11:42 > 0:11:46I'm scared. Please don't make me do this. Bingo players are terrifying.

0:11:46 > 0:11:51This is a hard one. I've got to be over-competitive about reading?

0:11:52 > 0:11:54I'm crap at reading.

0:11:55 > 0:11:57Smugly tell someone you are better

0:11:57 > 0:12:00at bingo than them three times. Nice.

0:12:00 > 0:12:04Good evening, ladies. How many games have you guys won?

0:12:04 > 0:12:09Hundreds? I've won 200. What's your biggest win on bingo, girls?

0:12:09 > 0:12:13- 2,000.- In one go, 2,000? My biggest win, 3,000.

0:12:13 > 0:12:16- Where is the best place you've played bingo?- Mecca.

0:12:16 > 0:12:18- Mecca Bingo?- Yeah.- Vegas.

0:12:20 > 0:12:23I played there just last year, actually.

0:12:25 > 0:12:28Tell someone you are better at reading than them three times.

0:12:28 > 0:12:31How are you doing, mate? What's that you're reading?

0:12:31 > 0:12:34- Oh, this is just the AQA GCSE science textbook.- Oh, yeah. I know that.

0:12:34 > 0:12:37I've read that a couple of times, actually.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40How many textbooks do you reckon you got through this course?

0:12:40 > 0:12:44- Probably three or four. Yeah. - It's not a lot.

0:12:44 > 0:12:48I probably did about seven or eight I reckon. Yeah.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51- How many books do you reckon you've read this month?- Two. I've been...

0:12:51 > 0:12:55- I think I've probably read about ten books this month.- Really? Wow.- Yeah.

0:12:55 > 0:12:58Love reading so much. It's just what I do.

0:13:02 > 0:13:04Challenge someone to a reading competition, lose,

0:13:04 > 0:13:06and throw a mega tantrum.

0:13:08 > 0:13:11Play a game of bingo. If you don't win, throw the biggest tantrum ever.

0:13:15 > 0:13:18- Excuse me, mate. How good are you at reading?- Fairly good.

0:13:18 > 0:13:20I don't know if you could help me, just, like,

0:13:20 > 0:13:22having a reading competition? You don't have to do it out loud,

0:13:22 > 0:13:24- just in your head. - I'll give it a go.

0:13:24 > 0:13:27BINGO CALLER: 1-0, number ten.

0:13:27 > 0:13:298 and 2, 82.

0:13:30 > 0:13:32If you start at "Peter's old sleeping bag."

0:13:32 > 0:13:35One, two, three, go.

0:13:36 > 0:13:395-1, 51.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41All the 7s, 77.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44Done.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47- What?- Done.

0:13:47 > 0:13:52- Oh,- BLEEP!- Are you serious?

0:13:52 > 0:13:56Oh, my God! Rickie, how can you lose that?

0:13:56 > 0:13:58How could you lose a reading competition?

0:14:02 > 0:14:0473.

0:14:04 > 0:14:08No! I needed another number! No, please! I'm the best at this game!

0:14:08 > 0:14:13Please, I needed just one more number, please! I need it now!

0:14:13 > 0:14:16Oh! I'm the best at this game.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18Come on! Come on!

0:14:22 > 0:14:24Yeah!

0:14:24 > 0:14:26CHEERING

0:14:30 > 0:14:32Well done, Rickie and Melvin.

0:14:32 > 0:14:35A point for each team. It was a draw.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37APPLAUSE

0:14:40 > 0:14:44OK. It is now time for another Sweat.

0:14:44 > 0:14:47What is it about this picture that I have been sweating about?

0:14:47 > 0:14:52Have a look at it. What about this has been making me sweat?

0:14:52 > 0:14:53You met the Queen!

0:14:53 > 0:14:56I met the fucking Queen!

0:14:56 > 0:15:00- How?- She popped into Radio One to do a Live Lounge.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05She was on the new Chase And Status record.

0:15:05 > 0:15:09Is it that you have just realised that you've got crabs?

0:15:13 > 0:15:16When you meet the Queen, do you think,

0:15:16 > 0:15:18"I'm going to scratch my bollocks?"

0:15:18 > 0:15:19It went from like this.

0:15:19 > 0:15:21But then someone said it looked like someone

0:15:21 > 0:15:23was about to do a penalty against me.

0:15:23 > 0:15:25I was like this and they were like, "That's rude."

0:15:25 > 0:15:27So then I was like this. And they were like.

0:15:27 > 0:15:29"That's slob-like." I was like, "Fucking hell!

0:15:29 > 0:15:32"You're acting like she's the...oh, yeah."

0:15:32 > 0:15:35What is it about this that you think has got me all sweaty?

0:15:35 > 0:15:37That got me all weirded out?

0:15:37 > 0:15:40Someone wearing gloves on a warm day.

0:15:40 > 0:15:42LAUGHTER

0:15:43 > 0:15:45Mollie never makes that mistake.

0:15:45 > 0:15:47Is it to do with meeting someone like the Queen?

0:15:47 > 0:15:49I think Max should probably have that point.

0:15:49 > 0:15:51It's to do with sweating about not knowing how

0:15:51 > 0:15:54to behave around famous people. You don't really know how to react.

0:15:59 > 0:16:01Our boss brought her over.

0:16:01 > 0:16:02And he's like,

0:16:02 > 0:16:05"This is Nick Grimshaw who does the radio in the mornings."

0:16:05 > 0:16:07And she just went...

0:16:07 > 0:16:09So I thought, this is a bit awkward.

0:16:10 > 0:16:14Maybe she wants me to do like a link or something.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17So my words to the Queen were, "You all right?

0:16:17 > 0:16:20"Are you having a nice day?"

0:16:20 > 0:16:21And she just went...

0:16:21 > 0:16:23And then walked off.

0:16:23 > 0:16:26Because you're not meant to talk to her

0:16:26 > 0:16:27but I wasn't just going to stand there.

0:16:27 > 0:16:30She was looking at me right in the face, like, "Go on."

0:16:30 > 0:16:33Have you been at a party anywhere

0:16:33 > 0:16:35and someone's come up to you that you're a fan of and said,

0:16:35 > 0:16:38"Oh, I like you guys, I've seen you on telly, I've watched you,"

0:16:38 > 0:16:39or like, "Good performance?"

0:16:39 > 0:16:41Has happened to you, like role reversal,

0:16:41 > 0:16:44- someone you're a fan of has become a fan of you?- Mike Tyson.

0:16:46 > 0:16:48- Seriously?- I'm not joking.

0:16:50 > 0:16:53- Really?! - Yes, he likes a boy band, I know!

0:16:53 > 0:16:55He does.

0:16:55 > 0:16:59Hey, have you met a really famous man called Simon Cowell yet?

0:16:59 > 0:17:01No. I met the judges this week.

0:17:01 > 0:17:04I met Nicole Scherzinger and I was really weird around her

0:17:04 > 0:17:07because she is the most beautiful human being I've ever met.

0:17:07 > 0:17:09And she would walk past me cos she knew it made me awkward

0:17:09 > 0:17:13and whenever she walked past me, she go, "Matthew." Like that.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16And I'd have to go and have cold showers.

0:17:16 > 0:17:18She is so annoying, isn't she?

0:17:18 > 0:17:21So, The Wanted, what are you like with your fans?

0:17:21 > 0:17:24Because you have Mike Tyson coming up to you

0:17:24 > 0:17:25but you also have, you know,

0:17:25 > 0:17:28fans that aren't Mike Tyson. You have millions of fans.

0:17:28 > 0:17:30What it like when they come up to you? Is it a nice thing?

0:17:30 > 0:17:31Is it a weird thing? What's it like?

0:17:31 > 0:17:33I think it's a really nice thing.

0:17:33 > 0:17:36You know, when they show up, it's nice.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40Kind of the point, really.

0:17:40 > 0:17:44No, I mean, it's great. We love our fans, they are awesome.

0:17:44 > 0:17:45Of course, you love your fans.

0:17:45 > 0:17:48The Saturdays, what is it like when people come up and ask

0:17:48 > 0:17:49for photos and say they love you,

0:17:49 > 0:17:51is that a weird thing? Can you handle it now?

0:17:51 > 0:17:54We went to the Hangover III premiere.

0:17:54 > 0:17:57And you know when you get out of the car and you're on the red carpet

0:17:57 > 0:17:59and everyone's like, "Whoo!" and I was like, "Oh, yeah,

0:17:59 > 0:18:02"they're screaming." And one girl was going, "Mollie! Mollie!"

0:18:02 > 0:18:04And I thought, "Oh, I've made it."

0:18:04 > 0:18:07So I walked over to her and she goes, "Can you get Frankie?"

0:18:07 > 0:18:09LAUGHTER

0:18:10 > 0:18:12I'll just grab her in a minute.

0:18:14 > 0:18:17Max, Jay, Mollie and Vanessa, as you said, you love your fans

0:18:17 > 0:18:21so you're going to love this next game.

0:18:21 > 0:18:24Because you love your fans so much and they, I must say, almost

0:18:24 > 0:18:28manically love you, to a scary level, we thought we'd play a game.

0:18:28 > 0:18:29Grope On A Rope.

0:18:29 > 0:18:31JAUNTY MUSIC

0:18:34 > 0:18:38OK, here we have a super fan of The Saturdays, Adam.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41And a super fan of The Wanted, Georgia.

0:18:41 > 0:18:44First of all, Adam, who is a fan of The Saturdays, has been to see

0:18:44 > 0:18:46you in concert 25 times.

0:18:46 > 0:18:51He has spent around £2,000 in coming to see you and your merchandise.

0:18:51 > 0:18:55He believes he was your first and original fan.

0:18:55 > 0:18:59You have over here Georgia, massive fan of The Wanted.

0:18:59 > 0:19:04She has "attempted" to meet you 25 times.

0:19:04 > 0:19:07She sits and waits for you at the airport for hours on end.

0:19:07 > 0:19:11She made a 20-hour bus journey just to see you perform last year.

0:19:11 > 0:19:16Georgia has spent her entire student loan on all things Wanted.

0:19:16 > 0:19:19She is living in poverty.

0:19:19 > 0:19:23As you can see, our two super fans are harnessed to ropes,

0:19:23 > 0:19:27preventing them from getting close to their idols.

0:19:27 > 0:19:30All you have to do is answer questions about your fans to

0:19:30 > 0:19:33get them closer to you. Here are your questions.

0:19:33 > 0:19:36First one is for The Wanted. Question one.

0:19:36 > 0:19:40A female fan once hid on your tour bus, where did you find her?

0:19:40 > 0:19:44- In the boot.- Where the luggage is.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46Yes, Max. The luggage compartment.

0:19:46 > 0:19:50You can take a step forward to The Wanted. There we go.

0:19:52 > 0:19:53Question for The Saturdays.

0:19:53 > 0:19:56What two items did Frankie once receive in the post

0:19:56 > 0:19:58from a super fan.

0:19:58 > 0:20:02A map and a key? A proposal and a ring? Or a love letter and a nose?

0:20:02 > 0:20:06- I would say a ring. - I don't know.- A ring and a letter.

0:20:06 > 0:20:10- You think the proposal and a ring? - Yeah.- Absolutely correct.- Yes!

0:20:10 > 0:20:12Adam, did you send that?

0:20:13 > 0:20:17Oh, my God. When he reaches you, he's going to rip your face off.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20The Wanted, a fan once approached you, Jay,

0:20:20 > 0:20:22and cut a bit of your hair off.

0:20:22 > 0:20:25- What did they do once they cut your hair off?- She ate it.

0:20:25 > 0:20:26GROANING

0:20:26 > 0:20:29- Georgia, was that you?- No!

0:20:29 > 0:20:32Georgia, that is correct. Take a step closer to The Wanted.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38The Saturdays, the fan standing in front of you now is Adam.

0:20:38 > 0:20:42He has spent hours making a beautiful family book for Oona

0:20:42 > 0:20:44and gave it to Oona for her birthday.

0:20:44 > 0:20:48But what did Oona do to thank him? Did she A...?

0:20:48 > 0:20:51Why are all the questions about the other girls?!

0:20:51 > 0:20:52Cos you have no fans.

0:20:52 > 0:20:57Did she A - send him a thank you tweet?

0:20:57 > 0:21:00Did she B - reply with a personal letter?

0:21:00 > 0:21:05Or did she C - send him a picture of herself reading that book?

0:21:05 > 0:21:06Definitely C.

0:21:06 > 0:21:09Actually, Oona's a cow and she did nowt.

0:21:09 > 0:21:11GROANING

0:21:12 > 0:21:16The Wanted, once a fan threw something on stage, it said,

0:21:16 > 0:21:18"I love Max." What was that thing?

0:21:18 > 0:21:20Just say it really nicely.

0:21:20 > 0:21:22What are you going to do when you get hold of them?

0:21:22 > 0:21:25- She's had about five steps. - Who knows?- Whoa!

0:21:25 > 0:21:27What are all those knives?

0:21:29 > 0:21:32A fan once threw something on stage that said, "I love Max."

0:21:32 > 0:21:34What was that thing, Max?

0:21:34 > 0:21:36It was a used...

0:21:36 > 0:21:38GROANING

0:21:38 > 0:21:41..sanitary...plug.

0:21:41 > 0:21:44That's absolutely correct. Georgia, you can meet The Wanted.

0:21:46 > 0:21:48MUFFLED SPEECH

0:21:50 > 0:21:52Snog! Snog! Snog! Snog!

0:21:55 > 0:21:57Yeah!

0:21:57 > 0:21:58CROWD CHEER

0:21:58 > 0:22:00Down the ropes, Max!

0:22:00 > 0:22:02CROWD CHEER

0:22:02 > 0:22:04Oh, no. Adam, you didn't win.

0:22:04 > 0:22:07But thank you, everyone, for playing Grope On A Rope.

0:22:12 > 0:22:13Laura Whitmore, it says here

0:22:13 > 0:22:16you have been sweating about Melvin. Uh-oh!

0:22:17 > 0:22:20No, hold on. First of all, when I did mention the sweat,

0:22:20 > 0:22:23- I didn't know I was going to be bes...- Let's move on!

0:22:23 > 0:22:25I didn't know I was going to be beside Melvin.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27So what is it, then, what's your problem?

0:22:27 > 0:22:29It's male friends, one specific.

0:22:29 > 0:22:31You know when you've got your male friends

0:22:31 > 0:22:33and your girlfriends and you go out.

0:22:33 > 0:22:35And then your male friends hit on your girlfriends.

0:22:35 > 0:22:38Or then your male friends go through your Facebook to find out

0:22:38 > 0:22:41which of your girlfriends are hot. And then you're like,

0:22:41 > 0:22:43"Hey, how come you're friends with loads of my friends?"

0:22:43 > 0:22:47- And then you realise it's because... - Because he's a sex troll!

0:22:47 > 0:22:49Basically, I'm talking about Melvin.

0:22:49 > 0:22:51Melvin, what have you been doing?

0:22:51 > 0:22:52Have you been getting busy on the net?

0:22:52 > 0:22:57- I was just... I was doing some work on my computer one day.- Yes.

0:22:57 > 0:23:01And Laura's Facebook page just popped up in front of me.

0:23:01 > 0:23:04So I went through a few of her friends by accident

0:23:04 > 0:23:08and I came across one particular young lady who was quite delicious.

0:23:08 > 0:23:10Delicious!

0:23:10 > 0:23:12- And so messaged her. - Does he do it a lot?

0:23:12 > 0:23:14There are a few mutual friends and I don't know how you know

0:23:14 > 0:23:17so many Irish people from my home town.

0:23:18 > 0:23:20That is the beauty of the internet.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23OK, time now for The Sweatbox,

0:23:23 > 0:23:26where you get to actually help members of this very audience,

0:23:26 > 0:23:29who will tell you what small thing they've been sweating about.

0:23:29 > 0:23:31Do your best to help them out with advice.

0:23:31 > 0:23:33The team they decide has given the most help will get the point.

0:23:33 > 0:23:35- All you all ready?- ALL: Yes!

0:23:35 > 0:23:38OK, let's do this. Who is first in The Sweatbox?

0:23:38 > 0:23:42- Hi, I'm Ian. - And I'm Matt.- Hello.- Hi.

0:23:42 > 0:23:46- What's your problem? - We hate our job.

0:23:46 > 0:23:47HATE.

0:23:47 > 0:23:49- They hate their job.- Yeah.

0:23:49 > 0:23:51What do you do for a living?

0:23:51 > 0:23:54We work with an egocentric person. Someone who is self-obsessed.

0:23:54 > 0:23:55LAURA: What's his name?

0:23:55 > 0:23:57Someone who Googles himself all the time.

0:23:57 > 0:24:00We have to get up very early for our job, which is painful enough,

0:24:00 > 0:24:02but compounded with this guy we work with,

0:24:02 > 0:24:04it makes it even more difficult.

0:24:04 > 0:24:05It's miserable.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07Right, who do you work for?

0:24:07 > 0:24:09We work with that idiot there.

0:24:10 > 0:24:12We produce the Radio One Breakfast Show.

0:24:12 > 0:24:16That's Ian and Finchy from my radio show, everybody.

0:24:16 > 0:24:18CHEERING

0:24:18 > 0:24:22Ian, what's the single worst thing that Grimmy's done to you?

0:24:22 > 0:24:23What do you think is worse?

0:24:23 > 0:24:26The self-obsessed...the neediness is pretty bad, to be fair.

0:24:26 > 0:24:28Sometimes when you come in and you're like...

0:24:28 > 0:24:31- I feel sorry for him. - .."Oh, I'm in a bad mood."

0:24:33 > 0:24:35Any advice on what they can do? They hate their job.

0:24:35 > 0:24:39I think you have to start somewhere and at some point you have

0:24:39 > 0:24:41to lick someone's arse, even if you hate them.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46Come with us on Kiss Breakfast.

0:24:46 > 0:24:48I was going to punt for that, actually.

0:24:48 > 0:24:50- Do you need engineers and producers? - There are vacancies.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53I can get you in touch with some people.

0:24:53 > 0:24:54OK, bye, Matt.

0:24:54 > 0:24:57Who's advice are you going to go for?

0:24:57 > 0:25:00We like The Saturdays the best, so this team.

0:25:00 > 0:25:03You like The Saturdays the best?

0:25:03 > 0:25:07Mainly because they fancy these ladies.

0:25:07 > 0:25:10OK, who is next in The Sweatbox?

0:25:10 > 0:25:13Hi, I'm Claire. ALL: Hi, Claire!

0:25:13 > 0:25:14What's your sweat?

0:25:14 > 0:25:18Am I too old to be obsessed with a boy band?

0:25:18 > 0:25:23- How old are you? - I'm 32.- No!- No!- Who are the boy band?

0:25:23 > 0:25:25It's One Direction.

0:25:25 > 0:25:27AUDIENCE CHEER

0:25:27 > 0:25:30I think Harry's had great taste so far.

0:25:30 > 0:25:32And you're younger than some of the girls

0:25:32 > 0:25:34that Harry has been with from One Direction.

0:25:34 > 0:25:38I mean, I'm looking at you now and I...would.

0:25:38 > 0:25:40Easy, Max!

0:25:41 > 0:25:44No, I definitely think that...yeah.

0:25:46 > 0:25:48Any ideas over here what we could do?

0:25:48 > 0:25:49When did you start liking them?

0:25:49 > 0:25:52I quite liked them when they were on The X Factor.

0:25:52 > 0:25:53And then I think it was the Olympics.

0:25:53 > 0:25:57I was watching and I was like, Oh, my God! They are, like, really fit."

0:25:57 > 0:26:00Oh, my God! They are on a bus!

0:26:00 > 0:26:03When you say obsessed, what do you mean? Do you lick their faces?

0:26:03 > 0:26:06- I would probably lick their faces. - They would probably let you do that.

0:26:06 > 0:26:08- Who is your favourite? - Louis is my favourite.

0:26:08 > 0:26:12You could have Louis, like, maybe. Or you could have Max right now.

0:26:12 > 0:26:13Let's go for it!

0:26:15 > 0:26:17CHEERING

0:26:30 > 0:26:33You have cured her! Praise be to Jesus!

0:26:34 > 0:26:36Or...

0:26:36 > 0:26:39would you like to be a lesbian with The Saturdays?

0:26:39 > 0:26:41I'm up for that as well, yeah.

0:26:43 > 0:26:45Go on! Get down there!

0:27:00 > 0:27:02OK...

0:27:02 > 0:27:03Come on!

0:27:03 > 0:27:06Boy band or lesbians?

0:27:06 > 0:27:09- Lezzers!- I think I'm going to go for the lesbians.

0:27:09 > 0:27:11CHEERING

0:27:12 > 0:27:15A point for Melvin's team.

0:27:17 > 0:27:21That was my highlight of the show. Her going, "Lezzers!"

0:27:21 > 0:27:25That was the final round. Thank you, Sweatboxers. Thank you.

0:27:29 > 0:27:33So that is it. I can reveal that tonight's winners are...

0:27:35 > 0:27:37..Rickie's team.

0:27:37 > 0:27:38THEY CHEER

0:27:47 > 0:27:49A massive thank you to

0:27:49 > 0:27:53Ricky, Max, Jay, Matt, Melvin, Mollie, Vanessa and Laura.

0:27:53 > 0:27:56This has been Sweat The Small Stuff. I have been Nick Grimshaw.

0:27:56 > 0:27:58Good night, everybody.

0:28:13 > 0:28:16Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd