0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:18 > 0:00:21APPLAUSE
0:00:21 > 0:00:25Hiya. I'm Nick Grimshaw. Well, the voice of Nick Grimshaw.
0:00:25 > 0:00:27Look, there I am. Look how big my head is.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Welcome to Sweat The Small Stuff,
0:00:29 > 0:00:32the show that made a big deal about all the little things in life,
0:00:32 > 0:00:37like who's taller, Melvin or Aston? Who cares?
0:00:37 > 0:00:41Or, it is possible to make the show in 3D?
0:00:41 > 0:00:42No, no, it's not.
0:00:42 > 0:00:46Or can Ricky manage to appear sober in front of his mum?
0:00:46 > 0:00:50I've got a list here of things that I... Things that I need you to do.
0:00:50 > 0:00:52Nope.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55And can Rochelle carve my face into that man's chest hair?
0:00:55 > 0:00:57It looks nothing like me, does it?
0:00:57 > 0:01:01This is Sweat The Small Stuff - The Best Bits.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Time now for round one.
0:01:03 > 0:01:05- Are you ready, teams?- Yes.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08This round is figuring out, if we can,
0:01:08 > 0:01:11just by looking at someone, judge if they watch porn.
0:01:11 > 0:01:13We thought we'd put this to the test.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16We've rounded up some people on the street and asked them,
0:01:16 > 0:01:17do you watch porn?
0:01:17 > 0:01:21The way this is going to work is we'll see that person swear on this.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27It's a quiff of me. We got them to swear on it to the absolute truth.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29All you teams have to do is decide
0:01:29 > 0:01:31if they are indeed a lover of all things rude.
0:01:31 > 0:01:33You are going to go first, Ricky's team.
0:01:33 > 0:01:39Hi, my name's Bethany, I promise to swear the absolute truth on the quiff of Grimmy.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42Do you watch porn? I...
0:01:42 > 0:01:45LAUGHTER
0:01:46 > 0:01:49- She's amazing.- What do you think? AUDIENCE: Yes!
0:01:49 > 0:01:52She was going to say yes, and then she thought about it.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56She looks a bit as though she's going to say, "Willies are dirty!" or something.
0:01:56 > 0:01:59- What are you going for? - We are going to say no.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Let's find out.
0:02:01 > 0:02:03- Yes.- What sort?
0:02:03 > 0:02:05Um...all sorts.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Depends what...you know. You know.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10Oh, God!
0:02:10 > 0:02:12LAUGHTER
0:02:17 > 0:02:20We rounded up some people on the street and asked them,
0:02:20 > 0:02:23have you ever sent a dirty picture message?
0:02:23 > 0:02:25We're going to start with your team, Melvin.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Hi, I'm Ben.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30I swear on the quiff of Grimmy that I'm telling the truth,
0:02:30 > 0:02:31the whole truth.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34Have you ever sent a dirty picture message?
0:02:34 > 0:02:41- Hmm!- He's very serious!- Very serious man, but is he dirty on the phone?
0:02:41 > 0:02:43He looks like a killer!
0:02:43 > 0:02:46I think he looks like he's got loads of whippets.
0:02:49 > 0:02:50And there's too many.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52I think he looks like he would send them to people
0:02:52 > 0:02:54even if they didn't want them.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58What do we think, do we think he sends them?
0:02:58 > 0:03:01- Yes or no?- Yeah. - Let's find out - is he dirty?
0:03:01 > 0:03:02- Yes.- What of?
0:03:02 > 0:03:04Cock.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11All you have to do is decide if they are indeed an evil, devious phone-snooper.
0:03:11 > 0:03:15- We'll start with your team, Ricky. Are they a snooper?- OK.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Hi, my name is Hannah,
0:03:17 > 0:03:20and on the quiff of Grimmy, I promise to tell the truth.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22Have you ever gone through your partner's phone?
0:03:22 > 0:03:26- Oooh!- What do you think, guys? - I don't know.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30- She looks pretty confident. Was she Aussie as well?- I think so.- OK.
0:03:30 > 0:03:34- Definitely, then, definitely. - I reckon we'll say yes.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Let's find out.
0:03:36 > 0:03:38- Yes.- Why?
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Cos I was a paranoid psycho.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Melvin's team, one for you.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Have they done it with more or less than eight people?
0:03:52 > 0:03:56Hello. I'm Filippo. On the quiff of Grimmy I swear to tell the truth.
0:03:56 > 0:03:59Have you slept with more than eight people?
0:03:59 > 0:04:02- Yes! Filippo!- Filippo.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04- Audience are saying yes. - I think yes.
0:04:04 > 0:04:09Before they even spoke, they're like, "I've done him, I've had him!"
0:04:09 > 0:04:12- "I'm doing him now." - The guy sounds sexy.
0:04:12 > 0:04:18- He did a little recall as well. He was like...- Definitely.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21- Who hasn't he slept with is the question!- Let's find out.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23They're saying yes.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25At the same time?
0:04:25 > 0:04:27LAUGHTER
0:04:27 > 0:04:29So, separately, yes. At the same time, no.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32But it could be something to put on the list!
0:04:32 > 0:04:36APPLAUSE DROWNS OUT SPEECH
0:04:36 > 0:04:40What's been making you sweat, Jaime? It says on here, "LOL".
0:04:40 > 0:04:46- Why has LOL been making you sweat? - It just really gets under my skin.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- You LOLs all the time and it's really irritating.- What do you mean?
0:04:49 > 0:04:53- LOLs off. It's like, just laugh out loud.- Oh!
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Is it when people, like, say it, or when they write it?
0:04:55 > 0:04:59- Both! I think it's really stupid and I think you should...- LOL.
0:04:59 > 0:05:05See what I mean?! LOL! It's just like - no!
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Sometimes you can't ROFL cos the carpet's dirty.
0:05:09 > 0:05:14- It is a nightmare sometimes. - I'm not ROFLing on that!
0:05:14 > 0:05:18Where did T go in ROFL?
0:05:18 > 0:05:21Roll on the floor laughing. Who dropped the T?
0:05:21 > 0:05:24- Oh, is that what that means?- Yeah! - What did you think it meant?
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- I thought...- What did you think?
0:05:27 > 0:05:31I don't know,
0:05:31 > 0:05:34but when I used to see it, I used to think, "Who's Rolf?"
0:05:39 > 0:05:43Everybody knew Rolf, but nobody can spell his name!
0:05:43 > 0:05:47It used to wind me up! I'd think, "That's not how you spell it!"
0:05:48 > 0:05:52- OK, if you'd like to take a seat. - Do you have to use accents for this?
0:05:52 > 0:05:54- Yes.- I can only do a Ghanaian accent.
0:05:54 > 0:05:59The rules are very strict, but remember, BBC Three viewers,
0:05:59 > 0:06:00rules mean fun.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03When you describe the food,
0:06:03 > 0:06:08you cannot say what the food is or say what country it's from.
0:06:08 > 0:06:13You can use the accent of that country. Fingers crossed for Ghana!
0:06:13 > 0:06:17You get a point for each dish you get right, then we'll move on to the next.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19You can pass at any time if you want.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21- Dem's the rules. Are you ready?- Er, yeah.
0:06:21 > 0:06:26- Take a seat. Have you two ever been to dinner together?- No.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29- This is our first time, actually. - So, are you ready?- Yeah.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Let's see what is on the menu first tonight.
0:06:32 > 0:06:37- STRANGE ACCENT: OK, so it is a...- No, it's not Ghana.
0:06:37 > 0:06:43- Hey! What's-a-matter-wid-you? - What's-a-matter-wid-you?
0:06:43 > 0:06:45I think you're in the wrong country.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49- Did you say Italy?- Oh, wow.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52It is a delicious treat.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56- Aston, help me!- It's very long.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Yum, yum, yum, yum, delicious.
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Please help me!
0:07:06 > 0:07:10- IN AFRICAN ACCENT: - I do not even know what to say to you now.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12LAUGHTER AND CHEERING
0:07:12 > 0:07:15We're both African!
0:07:15 > 0:07:16Can we pass on this one?
0:07:16 > 0:07:18- IN AFRICAN ACCENT: - I don't know what you...
0:07:20 > 0:07:24Here is another thing that I've been sweating about. Have a look at this.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26SEXY MUSIC RICKIE: Hold on!
0:07:28 > 0:07:30# Feels so good... #
0:07:30 > 0:07:32- HOLLY:- My goodness me!
0:07:32 > 0:07:35SCARY MUSIC
0:07:39 > 0:07:41It's my face!
0:07:41 > 0:07:43Oh, it's your face we're looking at, OK.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44I want to try and catch it.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47LAUGHTER
0:07:50 > 0:07:53So what is it about this that I've been sweating about?
0:07:53 > 0:07:54I don't get it!
0:07:54 > 0:07:57So what is it? You've got schizophrenia?
0:07:57 > 0:07:58Yes, I'm mental!
0:07:58 > 0:08:00On the right side, you're sweating,
0:08:00 > 0:08:02because Father Time has taken its toll on your face.
0:08:02 > 0:08:03It's not looking too good.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Ooh-ho-ho!
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Father Time?!
0:08:07 > 0:08:08I see, so he's got a good side...
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Like, when you go, "Don't shoot me from this side
0:08:10 > 0:08:12"because I've got a good side."
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Boom! Correct, Holly Willoughby!
0:08:14 > 0:08:16APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:08:16 > 0:08:19- Thank you.- That is correct, Holly.
0:08:19 > 0:08:21I have been sweating about having a best side.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24I thought it was a thing that just, like, Mariah Carey did,
0:08:24 > 0:08:25just to be a dickhead.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27It was annoying that someone says
0:08:27 > 0:08:30I do have a better side and a bad side. Here is my face here.
0:08:30 > 0:08:32We're going to do some actual science.
0:08:32 > 0:08:34There's my normal face.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37- Let's do my best side.- Ugh!
0:08:37 > 0:08:39That's the better version, before you laugh!
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Wait till you see the bad version!
0:08:41 > 0:08:43I like your middle tooth, Grimmy!
0:08:43 > 0:08:45- It's nice, isn't it?- Impressive.
0:08:45 > 0:08:47- Do you want to see my double bad side?- ALL: Yeah!
0:08:47 > 0:08:50LAUGHTER AND WHOOPING
0:08:50 > 0:08:51That's so weird!
0:08:51 > 0:08:54I thought maybe, like, Wolverine and Ross from Friends.
0:08:54 > 0:08:56Like, moulded together with glue.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Next one. What ze 'eck is this?
0:09:00 > 0:09:02IN AFRICAN ACCENT: So, basically...
0:09:02 > 0:09:04LAUGHTER
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Oh, get on with it!
0:09:06 > 0:09:10- Can you tell the country from the flag?- Yes!
0:09:10 > 0:09:12OK, come on! Describe what's there.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15- It's a...- It's a...slice of...
0:09:15 > 0:09:18- Slice of meat.- This is good.
0:09:18 > 0:09:20Kind of... Kind of...
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Are you French?
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Non!
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Although, sounding even more French when saying, "Non!"
0:09:27 > 0:09:32It is a cut of meat, sliced meat. Very delicious.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35LAUGHTER
0:09:35 > 0:09:37- Any ideas?- Not a clue.
0:09:37 > 0:09:40That was a Spanish accent. They were trying to be Spanish.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43- Oh, my God! - Trying to describe chorizo.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Terrible. We'll do one more.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47Here's the next one.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Try not and be African accent, OK?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51- No African, no French.- OK.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53What ze 'eck is this?
0:09:53 > 0:09:56Oh, this is sehr gut!
0:09:56 > 0:09:57LAUGHTER
0:10:02 > 0:10:03Das ist gut, ja?
0:10:03 > 0:10:06- German?- Ja!- Ja!
0:10:06 > 0:10:09Hans, we like...
0:10:09 > 0:10:11Ze long, like Marvin!
0:10:11 > 0:10:13LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:10:17 > 0:10:19A schnitzel?
0:10:19 > 0:10:21JLS, Marvin!
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Oh, das ist... Ooh, entschuldigung!
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- Oh, delicious!- Any ideas?- Not a clue.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29- Do you want this?- No! Oh, my God!
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Marvin's going to be loving you two!
0:10:31 > 0:10:33LAUGHTER
0:10:33 > 0:10:35- Let's try Melvin, shall we?- Right.
0:10:35 > 0:10:38Do you think you have a good side or a bad side? Do you know?
0:10:38 > 0:10:39Either side's good for me.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Take what I can get, Grimmy. That's what I've learned in life.
0:10:42 > 0:10:44Which is your good side?
0:10:44 > 0:10:45Er, it's this side,
0:10:45 > 0:10:47because I've got a chickenpox mark on this side.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Let's see the two good sides together.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Oh, I look like Cee-Lo Green!
0:10:51 > 0:10:54LAUGHTER
0:10:54 > 0:10:57- Oh, my God! I'm scared to try the bad sides! Shall we do it?- Yeah!
0:10:57 > 0:11:00OK, let's do two bad sides.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:11:09 > 0:11:11- Holly, would you like a go?- Yeah!
0:11:11 > 0:11:13- ROCHELLE:- She doesn't have a bad side!
0:11:13 > 0:11:15OK, well, let's find out.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Let's do Holly's best sides first.
0:11:18 > 0:11:21- Oh, my God! - Holly, you look the same!
0:11:21 > 0:11:25APPLAUSE
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Let's do Holly Willoughby's bad side. Does she even have one?
0:11:28 > 0:11:32- No!- She looks like Mollie from The Saturdays!
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Yeah, your bad side, you just look like Sienna Miller!
0:11:36 > 0:11:39- I hear you've been sweating about flies?- Yes, flies.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Why are they here? What do they want?
0:11:41 > 0:11:44What, what, what... What is it?
0:11:44 > 0:11:49- I've no idea!- They wake up in the morning, right, IF they wake up...
0:11:49 > 0:11:51They fly about, making a stupid noise, right?
0:11:51 > 0:11:52What are they looking for?
0:11:52 > 0:11:56They're looking for a pile of shit to sit on.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58The worst flies are the ones in Spain.
0:11:58 > 0:12:00They land on you, you go like that, it's like a yo-yo.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02It just comes back, like that.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05I tell you what I love - to see a fly stuck in a spider's web.
0:12:05 > 0:12:08LAUGHTER
0:12:08 > 0:12:10I look at it going, "You're fucked!"
0:12:11 > 0:12:14"You ain't eating no more shit, mate. It's over."
0:12:15 > 0:12:17- What are they about? I don't get it. - I don't know!
0:12:17 > 0:12:19They fucking wind me up!
0:12:23 > 0:12:24Psst! Down here!
0:12:24 > 0:12:27- Hi, guys.- Hello. - Sorry we had to meet here again.
0:12:27 > 0:12:30Right, this week's challenge is all about celebrity divas,
0:12:30 > 0:12:32when celebrities turn into spoilt eight-year-olds
0:12:32 > 0:12:34just because they're famous.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37Well, this week I'm going to transform you
0:12:37 > 0:12:39into those celebrity divas.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42I have your tasks here in gold envelopes.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44OK, go do it. Bye.
0:12:44 > 0:12:47Oh, before you go, will you get me some toilet roll? Black toilet roll.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49I don't do white toilet roll.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01We could get punched today.
0:13:01 > 0:13:02That one point is mine.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04You know I'm going to win this.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08I am so ready!
0:13:13 > 0:13:15"Celebs rarely pay for stuff.
0:13:15 > 0:13:18"Blag yourself a free gift." Next one.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23You all right? I don't want to make a big deal out of this.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26As you know, I'm a big celebrity.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29How about two char-chars for free? Yeah?
0:13:31 > 0:13:32You're not going to do that?
0:13:32 > 0:13:36- No.- All right. Your choice.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39Hey, fellas! How you doing? Rickie Haywood-Williams!
0:13:39 > 0:13:41So, who's got my free fish?
0:13:43 > 0:13:44But, free fish?
0:13:44 > 0:13:46What?
0:13:49 > 0:13:54"Convince someone you're being followed by paparazzi." What?!
0:13:54 > 0:13:57"You're a lazy celeb. Get someone to carry you across the road."
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Excuse me. Finally, someone that looks like they can help me.
0:14:01 > 0:14:03I'm trying to get to that coffee shop over there.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07- Excuse me?- Mmm-hmm?
0:14:07 > 0:14:10You know it's me, right? Don't make it obvious.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13There's a guy behind you. I think he's paparazzi,
0:14:13 > 0:14:17and I can't afford to get pictured again.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Could you just give me a piggyback over there?
0:14:19 > 0:14:21THEY GIGGLE I'm not heavy.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23I haven't even eaten today.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Could you just shield me with your jacket just across the road?
0:14:25 > 0:14:28Is that cool? Mind the road! Mind the road!
0:14:28 > 0:14:29Mind the road! Mind the road!
0:14:32 > 0:14:34CHEERING
0:14:34 > 0:14:36LAUGHTER
0:14:44 > 0:14:47"Get your own VIP area in a restaurant."
0:14:47 > 0:14:50"Get someone to stir your coffee in an anticlockwise direction."
0:14:52 > 0:14:53- Hi.- Hi!
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Don't make it look like you recognise me or anything.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59Would it be OK to, like, kind of cordon off an area for me?
0:14:59 > 0:15:01I've got a rope.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04Could you cordon it off for me?
0:15:04 > 0:15:07I don't think so... We don't have...anything like that.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09You don't know who I am? Really?!
0:15:10 > 0:15:13Excuse me, don't make a big deal out of this,
0:15:13 > 0:15:15but could you possibly stir my drink for me?
0:15:15 > 0:15:18Because Melvin Odoom doesn't stir his drink.
0:15:18 > 0:15:19- It's getting cool.- Is this a joke?!
0:15:19 > 0:15:21It's got to be at room temperature.
0:15:21 > 0:15:22No, no, anticlockwise.
0:15:22 > 0:15:25LAUGHTER AND CHEERING
0:15:25 > 0:15:28You keep that, you can sell that online. Get some money for it.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32APPLAUSE
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Joe Walsh, what is making you sweat all of this week?
0:15:36 > 0:15:39It says here, "Returning missed calls."
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Right, returning missed calls. This is always annoying me.
0:15:41 > 0:15:45What happens is, someone calls you, your mate calls you, you miss the call.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46You call him. He misses your call.
0:15:46 > 0:15:47Oh, I hate that!
0:15:47 > 0:15:49This keeps on happening all day, then he calls you,
0:15:49 > 0:15:51you JUST missed the call, JUST!
0:15:51 > 0:15:52JUST missed the call.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55Call straight back, he doesn't answer.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57Where the fuck is he? What's going on?
0:15:57 > 0:16:00LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:16:02 > 0:16:07There's not been enough time for him to put the phone back in his pocket.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10If you call back straightaway, all that could have happened here
0:16:10 > 0:16:13is you've not answered and he's gone, "Fuck him!"
0:16:13 > 0:16:15LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Right, teams, the next round is The Big Little Question.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Last week, I asked my Radio 1 Breakfast Show listeners
0:16:20 > 0:16:24the Biggest Little Question that we've been sweating about this week,
0:16:24 > 0:16:27and this is something I think that everyone can relate to.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30We were inundated with texts about this. Almost harassed.
0:16:30 > 0:16:31So I asked the question,
0:16:31 > 0:16:35"What are the top three ways to be annoying online?
0:16:35 > 0:16:38OK, I have three envelopes here. One, two, three.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Each of these envelopes contains one of the top three answers
0:16:41 > 0:16:43for ways to be annoying online.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45One member of each team must select an envelope.
0:16:45 > 0:16:50If they are brave enough to post whatever is in the envelope online,
0:16:50 > 0:16:53they will win one glorious point for their team.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55- Do we want to do this? - Yeah, let's do it.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56Let's do this.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00Rickie, which envelope would your team like?
0:17:00 > 0:17:01Let's go number three.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02OK, this is for you.
0:17:05 > 0:17:08What is in there? For a bonus point for your team,
0:17:08 > 0:17:10- to embarrass yourself online? - THEY LAUGH
0:17:10 > 0:17:13Make sure you show it, please, to the camera, so we all know.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16LAUGHTER
0:17:16 > 0:17:18Rylan!
0:17:20 > 0:17:22- Right now, yeah?- Right now!
0:17:22 > 0:17:24What, just get up?
0:17:24 > 0:17:26WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:26 > 0:17:29Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Listen, listen!
0:17:29 > 0:17:32I need to know. So, Rylan, Rylan... You're a model.
0:17:32 > 0:17:34Come and give me some help.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:17:37 > 0:17:39You're not doing it with me! You not doing it with me!
0:17:39 > 0:17:42He just wants to undress you, Rickie!
0:17:42 > 0:17:44That's what's happening here!
0:17:44 > 0:17:45Joel, you sit down.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Let me just get out of the way.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Ricky is tensing so hard!
0:17:51 > 0:17:53Shut up!
0:17:53 > 0:17:55I so am!
0:17:55 > 0:17:58- Are you two ready?- I've not got a body like that, as we all know.
0:17:58 > 0:18:00You've got to show a bit as well.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03No! Oh, no, this is so embarrassing!
0:18:03 > 0:18:04You've got to!
0:18:04 > 0:18:06This is so gay.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08- Ricky is a pro.- Done. - It's done, everybody.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:18:13 > 0:18:15APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
0:18:15 > 0:18:20Too much, Ryland. Can we see the picture on camera one?
0:18:20 > 0:18:21Oh, my God!
0:18:21 > 0:18:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:18:23 > 0:18:25- Melvin, one more for you. - Yes, please.- OK.
0:18:26 > 0:18:29Hi, I'm Lauren. This is my boyfriend, James.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31On the quiff of Grimmy, we swear to tell the truth.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Have you ever gone through your partner's phone?
0:18:35 > 0:18:38- Yes!- I reckon she has.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41They then have a bitch-fight in the street,
0:18:41 > 0:18:43he then throws the quiff at her,
0:18:43 > 0:18:46she takes the scarf and lassos him with it.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49He starts crying, they kiss and make up
0:18:49 > 0:18:52and then they get rid of both of their phones and live in a field.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55Let's find out if that's the answer.
0:18:55 > 0:18:58- Yes.- James'?- Yeah.- Why?
0:18:58 > 0:19:00Erm...
0:19:00 > 0:19:01For a few reasons.
0:19:01 > 0:19:03AUDIENCE: Ooh!
0:19:03 > 0:19:06APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Let's have the first potential perv, please.
0:19:10 > 0:19:11Hi, my name's Chris.
0:19:11 > 0:19:15I swear on the quiff of Grimmy to tell the absolute truth.
0:19:15 > 0:19:18Have you slept with more than eight people?
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Whoa!
0:19:20 > 0:19:24- What do we think? - I don't think he has.- Why?
0:19:24 > 0:19:27- He looks a little bit shy. - Do you think?- Yeah.
0:19:27 > 0:19:29He's got purple hair!
0:19:29 > 0:19:33That's to cover up his shyness. I think he's a little bit nervous.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35- What do you think?- I think...
0:19:35 > 0:19:40There'll be a girl. She'll have the same hair as him. Definitely, yeah.
0:19:40 > 0:19:42We're going for yes.
0:19:42 > 0:19:45You're going for yes? Let's find out.
0:19:45 > 0:19:48No. I'm a bit of a loser in that sense.
0:19:48 > 0:19:50I've been with...five.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53You know, not too bad.
0:19:53 > 0:19:54AUDIENCE: Ah!
0:19:54 > 0:19:58APPLAUSE
0:19:58 > 0:20:00- One for you?- Yes.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Hi, my name is Stephanie. On the quiff of Grimmy,
0:20:03 > 0:20:05I swear to tell you the truth.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Do you watch porn?
0:20:07 > 0:20:09LAUGHTER
0:20:09 > 0:20:11She looked a little bit insulted.
0:20:11 > 0:20:15- Yeah.- Also, she looks like she just left court.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19What are we saying? Does she watch porn?
0:20:19 > 0:20:21She looks like, "Oh, shit. How did you guess?"
0:20:21 > 0:20:23- Exactly. That's exactly it. - You think so?
0:20:23 > 0:20:25She's a secret porn watcher.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27Is she going to admit it?
0:20:27 > 0:20:30- You call it. This is on you.- You're the captain.- I'm going to say yes.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33Yes. I think yes as well. Let's find out.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35- Sometimes.- What sort?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:20:37 > 0:20:39Anything I can find.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41LAUGHTER
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Oh, my!
0:20:44 > 0:20:49Anything! Anything! She can get her dirty little hands on. Anything!
0:20:51 > 0:20:55OK, teams. What is it about this that I've been sweating about?
0:20:55 > 0:21:00# Daddy, I've fallen for a monster. #
0:21:00 > 0:21:01OK.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:06 > 0:21:09That's Stooshe off of the pop charts.
0:21:09 > 0:21:13But what is it about that that has got me sweating?
0:21:13 > 0:21:16I don't know, but I like them. They're good, innit?
0:21:16 > 0:21:19- They're good.- Three sexy ladies.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Yes, I hate women!
0:21:22 > 0:21:25- Girl bands?- Not girl bands. - Harmonies?- Not harmonies.
0:21:25 > 0:21:29You don't like people singing live?
0:21:29 > 0:21:33Boom, Rochelle! I do not like people singing near me.
0:21:33 > 0:21:37And I hate the fact that I'm a radio DJ who absolutely hates live music.
0:21:38 > 0:21:42Does anyone else hate live music? I love Wretch 32's face.
0:21:42 > 0:21:43"No, it is my living."
0:21:44 > 0:21:46- I'm in shock!- No, I don't like it.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48I can never see at gigs. I'm too small.
0:21:48 > 0:21:51Is it harder when you go to a gig and you can't see the band
0:21:51 > 0:21:53to pick which one you want as your next boyfriend?
0:21:53 > 0:21:56GROANING
0:21:56 > 0:21:58APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH
0:21:58 > 0:21:59Leave her alone!
0:21:59 > 0:22:02I've seen you in action at a festival, so I have to...
0:22:02 > 0:22:06See, festival is all right, because there's other distractions.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09But the downside is that when you go to a festival, the best place
0:22:09 > 0:22:13to watch bands is also the worst place, the most dangerous.
0:22:13 > 0:22:17There's a mosh pit, people throwing bottles of piss.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Have you had anything thrown at you, Rochelle?
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Probably. I just choose to ignore it.
0:22:21 > 0:22:25I'm like, "I'm still going to perform, whether you like it or not.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28"I'm enjoying myself and having a whale of a time. Throw the piss!"
0:22:29 > 0:22:33Don't do that as an opening monologue. "You want to throw piss?"
0:22:33 > 0:22:36How do you know when it's piss?
0:22:36 > 0:22:38You've got to do a little reach-around next time.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41GROANING
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Yeah. Stranger's piss in my mouth.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47Which leads us on to our next game. The wonderfully titled
0:22:47 > 0:22:49Urine The Line Of Fire.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:56 > 0:23:00Here we are then at my favourite festival, Wee In The Park.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03It's a tiny festival, perfect for Melvin.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06The way this is going to work,
0:23:06 > 0:23:09you'll have some bottles of fresh urine to throw at a musical target.
0:23:09 > 0:23:13Two musical stars will pop up, on the stage,
0:23:13 > 0:23:15and you have to decide which target you are aiming for.
0:23:15 > 0:23:19The one that most deserves to be covered in piss.
0:23:19 > 0:23:21OK, Ricky. Who will play from your team?
0:23:21 > 0:23:23The lovely Miss Caroline Flack!
0:23:23 > 0:23:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:30 > 0:23:34Let's find out who you'll be throwing piss at this evening.
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Olly Murs!
0:23:36 > 0:23:38James Arthur!
0:23:38 > 0:23:39Who shall I throw it at?
0:23:39 > 0:23:41THEY SHOUT
0:23:41 > 0:23:43The public are saying James. Caroline Flack,
0:23:43 > 0:23:46get ready to throw piss at James Arthur.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:23:50 > 0:23:54Overarm. Aiming for the face. Aiming for the face.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Get aggressive, Flacky. Oh, no! It's Styles!
0:23:57 > 0:23:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Get Harry!
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Well done, hitting Harry.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11Go for James Arthur.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:24:15 > 0:24:17When I look through a friend's phone,
0:24:17 > 0:24:20I want to send an awful text message to somebody.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Or do a tweet or something.
0:24:21 > 0:24:24That's how I found out that my ex was cheating on me.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27That's how I found out. It was when the iPhone had just come out.
0:24:27 > 0:24:32I just got one and he just got one. He was in panto, he was Aladdin.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35Trust me, it gets so much better.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38"Oh, you've got an iPhone as well?" "Yeah, I got it yesterday."
0:24:38 > 0:24:40He went and made a cup of tea.
0:24:40 > 0:24:44I had a little look. Then it just popped up. "My God, is he at yours?
0:24:44 > 0:24:49"I feel really bad now." I was like, "What?" He said, "Slide to read."
0:24:49 > 0:24:53You slide to read. You know what I mean?
0:24:53 > 0:24:55So I slid to read...
0:24:55 > 0:24:58THEY ALL TALK AT ONCE
0:24:58 > 0:25:01I slid to read. Turns out he was fucking Jafar.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:25:09 > 0:25:14Time now for The Sweatbox, where you get to help members of this audience
0:25:14 > 0:25:17who will tell you what small thing they've been sweating about.
0:25:17 > 0:25:18Who's first in The Sweatbox?
0:25:18 > 0:25:21- Hi, I'm Sarah. ALL:- Hi, Sarah.
0:25:22 > 0:25:23What's your sweat?
0:25:23 > 0:25:27I keep sleep-cheating on my boyfriend with a celebrity.
0:25:27 > 0:25:28Amazing. Who?
0:25:28 > 0:25:29Grimmy.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34- It's...- Am I?
0:25:34 > 0:25:36Yeah, you are.
0:25:38 > 0:25:43- Yeah.- You have sex with Grimmy? - We kind of go for it.- Amazing!
0:25:45 > 0:25:46Is it just you two?
0:25:46 > 0:25:49- There's a couple of other people that appear.- Who?
0:25:50 > 0:25:51Harry appears.
0:25:51 > 0:25:52You and Harry together?
0:25:52 > 0:25:55We're just friends. It's while Grimmy does his hair,
0:25:55 > 0:25:58he makes me hang out with Harry while he does his hair.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03I don't think this is a dream. I think this is real life!
0:26:03 > 0:26:05Is your boyfriend here?
0:26:05 > 0:26:08- Yes.- Let's get him in the box with you. Where is your boyfriend?
0:26:08 > 0:26:09Get your boyfriend in.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12He's very reluctant to stand up.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15APPLAUSE
0:26:16 > 0:26:19How does it feel to have such a deceitful girlfriend?
0:26:19 > 0:26:21Do we have any advice for her?
0:26:21 > 0:26:23I've got some advice for the boyfriend.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25You could use this to your advantage.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27If she ever catches you cheating,
0:26:27 > 0:26:29you can say, "Sorry, I was sleep-shagging."
0:26:31 > 0:26:34I say really take Grimmy home with you tonight,
0:26:34 > 0:26:36fuck him, and then you won't dream about him any more.
0:26:36 > 0:26:40APPLAUSE
0:26:41 > 0:26:42Who's in The Sweatbox, please?
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Hello, I'm Georgina.
0:26:44 > 0:26:45Hi, Georgina.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48- Hi.- What is your sweat?
0:26:48 > 0:26:51Someone did a poo in my kettle and boiled it.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53GROANING
0:26:54 > 0:26:56We had a house party for my birthday
0:26:56 > 0:26:59and somebody did a poo in the kettle and boiled it.
0:27:02 > 0:27:03How did you find it?
0:27:03 > 0:27:06Because it boiled everywhere. It stunk the whole house.
0:27:08 > 0:27:13Oh, my God. Danny. Any advice for Georgina here?
0:27:13 > 0:27:15Find out who it is, go around their house
0:27:15 > 0:27:18and shit all over their fucking carpet.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:27:21 > 0:27:24Have you still got the kettle?
0:27:24 > 0:27:25Er, no.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31People round at your house are like...
0:27:33 > 0:27:38"Is this milk off?" Any advice over here? What would we do?
0:27:38 > 0:27:40First of all, find out who it is.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42Then what you do is, you go around the house
0:27:42 > 0:27:44and piss in the vodka and Red Bull.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48Both great options. Who are you going for?
0:27:48 > 0:27:51- That team. - You're going for Team Rickie?
0:27:51 > 0:27:52OK, another point for your team.
0:27:52 > 0:27:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:55 > 0:27:57This has been Sweat The Small Stuff.
0:27:57 > 0:28:00I've been Nick Grimshaw. Good night.
0:28:02 > 0:28:05Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd