:00:00. > :00:23.This programme contains strong language and adult humour.
:00:24. > :00:31.CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Hello! I'm Nick Grimshaw, this is
:00:32. > :00:34.Sweat The Small Stuff, and these are the people who are going to be
:00:35. > :00:38.sweating it tonight. Joining Melvin Odoom's team this week is comedian
:00:39. > :00:40.Carl Donnelly. Next, it's my genuine next-door neighbour, who's sweating
:00:41. > :00:46.because I keep stealing her wifi to illegally download her music. It's
:00:47. > :00:50.Eliza Doolittle. And over on Rochelle Humes' team is funny man
:00:51. > :00:59.Joe Lycett and one half of McFly, who are sweating because the other
:01:00. > :01:09.half are going on Qi tonight. It's Harry Judd and Danny Jones. So let's
:01:10. > :01:14.go and sweat the small stuff! CHEERING
:01:15. > :01:18.hello everyone. Hi, welcome to Sweat The Small Stuff. This week I've been
:01:19. > :01:23.sweating about the rude people in cinemas. I hate a rude person in a
:01:24. > :01:29.sin match. Madonna has been band from a New York cinema for texting
:01:30. > :01:33.this week. Did you see this? They've band her for life, which to be fair
:01:34. > :01:39.is only about five years, so it is not a big deal is it? Natalie
:01:40. > :01:44.Cassidy is going back in east enders. Sonia's not been on that
:01:45. > :01:49.show for seven years. In that time she's, um...
:01:50. > :01:57.LAUGHTER Well, she did... Yeah, anyway, best of luck to you,
:01:58. > :02:07.Natalie. Let's crack on and find out how our team captains are. Doom doom
:02:08. > :02:20.Natalie. Let's crack on and find out do. -- Malcolm Odoom's here.
:02:21. > :02:28.-- Melvyn. They love you. Rochelle, you look beautiful tonight.
:02:29. > :02:33.CHEERING Are you going to try to get less drunk this week? I was drunk
:02:34. > :02:37.last week wasn't it? You were a mess, Rochelle. People were mopping
:02:38. > :02:43.up puvenlingt she didn't know she had done this until she saw it on
:02:44. > :02:48.the telly. We've got Harry and Danny from McFly everyone.
:02:49. > :02:54.CHEERING Nice to have you here. You recently sold out four full nights
:02:55. > :03:01.at the Royal Albert Hall. Yeah. That's pretty big in the game. Look,
:03:02. > :03:07.the classic shot. It looks like One Direction have
:03:08. > :03:17.kicked Zane out. Do do do, what are your top five McFly songs? It's All
:03:18. > :03:27.About You. Four more. I do have favourites but I don't remember the
:03:28. > :03:30.names. Donnell Donnell dodges what -- Carl Donnelly what are your four
:03:31. > :03:48.favourites? It is time now for round one. This
:03:49. > :03:53.week it's about something that Melvyn has been sweat about
:03:54. > :04:00.recently. Pray tell. I feel like I'm at the age where I should have had a
:04:01. > :04:05.threesome by now. Come on then, let's go. Men are quite obsessed
:04:06. > :04:11.with the whole threesome thing. We are going to Magaluf and have a
:04:12. > :04:16.threesome. That sounds like the Saturdays' tour bus. I had a really
:04:17. > :04:26.weird threesome once, and it was weird, because I didn't know who to
:04:27. > :04:35.concentrate on. Ant or deck. -- Ant or Dec.
:04:36. > :04:40.APPLAUSE We put this to the test and asked people on the street the very
:04:41. > :04:43.normal and nonintrusive question, have you ever had a threesome? We'll
:04:44. > :05:09.see the person swear on this. That's too much smoke. I feel like
:05:10. > :05:20.this is going to end up like Nige that Pepsi advert. -- end up like
:05:21. > :05:25.Michael Jackson in that Pepsi advert. We asked people to swear on
:05:26. > :05:30.the quiff of Jimmy to tell the truth. I swear on the Quiff of
:05:31. > :05:45.Grimmy to tell the whole truth. Have you ever had a threesome? It is not
:05:46. > :05:53.a passport o. Some girls are like yes, we know him. He -- it is not a
:05:54. > :05:58.panto. I think no. You are going to react
:05:59. > :06:08.to the question anyway, right? They are saying no. No. I will be open to
:06:09. > :06:13.the idea but I haven't, no. Is there two people here that are up for it?
:06:14. > :06:21.Rochelle's team, this one is for you. I swear on the Quiff of Grimmy
:06:22. > :06:24.to tell the truth. Have you ever had a threesome?
:06:25. > :06:29.AUDIENCE: Yes! What a threesome?
:06:30. > :06:35.is hard, because I would have said that Melvyn's had a threesome, if
:06:36. > :06:47.I'm honest. He looks like he's just got out of prison, so yes. Nonstop
:06:48. > :06:53.for 12 years. Let's go yes. Yes CHEERING When? On a balcony in Ayia
:06:54. > :06:59.Napa. He doesn't seem too happy about it
:07:00. > :07:03.does he? Melvyn's team, this is for you. I swear on the Quiff of Grimmy
:07:04. > :07:11.to tell the whole truth. Have you ever had a threesome?
:07:12. > :07:18.LAUGHTER What do we think? I think he has. Look how tightly he's
:07:19. > :07:32.clutching my quiff. I think he probably has. They are saying yes.
:07:33. > :07:37.Maybe. Yes. There's nothing else I want to say about that. Oh, my gold.
:07:38. > :07:43.Grimmy, what are you doing to me, mate. What am I doing? You did it!
:07:44. > :07:53.Let's look at who is next. It is my pal from last week, a.s.a.p. Del
:07:54. > :07:57.Boy. I swear to tell the whole truth on Nick Grimshaw's quiff. Have you
:07:58. > :08:05.ever had a threesome? Due reckon he's done -- do you
:08:06. > :08:10.reckon he's done it? I love the way he was christened as soon as
:08:11. > :08:16.possible, that's too long, so we'll go with a.s.a.p. . I think he's a
:08:17. > :08:24.kind gentle boy, who like an Action Man has no genitalia. OK. Let's find
:08:25. > :08:32.out. No. Yes, I have. We did it in the park. It was quite
:08:33. > :08:36.awesome. Why awesome? Thank you to the people
:08:37. > :08:47.of Great Britain for playing on the Quiff of Grimmy.
:08:48. > :08:58.I liked win we play comedown music. Carl Donnelly, we invite you on this
:08:59. > :09:02.youth TV show on youth BBC station BBC Three to ask for your sweats. We
:09:03. > :09:08.thought you would sweat about Instagram or twerking or summat but
:09:09. > :09:14.you are sweating about allotments. It is all the hassle of a garden but
:09:15. > :09:20.not at your house. I hate having a garden, because I've got to look
:09:21. > :09:25.after it, but if I had to get a bus to my garden I would be the angriest
:09:26. > :09:31.person on the bus. And you've been sweating over loose tea leaves and
:09:32. > :09:36.pyjamas. Are you my mum? The worst one is old people's pyjamas, have
:09:37. > :09:42.you seen how smart they are? I've never been denied entry into a dream
:09:43. > :09:47.because I was underdressed. Maybe it is a precaution because they put the
:09:48. > :09:55.outfit on and they want to look nice in the outfit I die in. Harry, what
:09:56. > :10:01.have you been sweating about? I get really annoyed, I find clubs very
:10:02. > :10:07.frustrate places to be in. Alright gand dad. Why? Because it's just
:10:08. > :10:25.shit. You go in and it is just really loud. It is partly that. What
:10:26. > :10:31.is it about loud music that particularly annoys you? It is
:10:32. > :10:39.generally music like that. I can't hear what you're saying. Exactly!
:10:40. > :10:52.That's a cheap gag. It is painful to listen to. And I find you can't hear
:10:53. > :10:56.anyone. APPLAUSE OK. It is now time for
:10:57. > :11:00.Grimmy Investigates. The way this works is that every week I asked the
:11:01. > :11:03.listeners of Radio 1 and followers of the Sweat The Small Stuff Twitter
:11:04. > :11:08.account what their biggest sweats are concerning a specific topic
:11:09. > :11:12.I'll pick one of those sweats and attempt to investigate it for them.
:11:13. > :11:16.I think this deserves a detective series open title sequence. Last
:11:17. > :11:25.week we had a Murder, She Wrote spoof. This week, Poirot. You're
:11:26. > :11:51.locking welcome. LAUGHTER
:11:52. > :11:59.Hey Grimmy I'm Alannah from Cheshire and what makes me sweat recently is
:12:00. > :12:04.when I've gone out, got drunk, got my laptop out and looked at things I
:12:05. > :12:09.shouldn't. You know what I'm talking about. And the next day I've
:12:10. > :12:14.forgotten to clear my internet history and there's a risk of my mum
:12:15. > :12:23.looking at what I've been looking at. Nice acting. I thought was a
:12:24. > :12:28.unique male problem, not to be sexist. I have a game I'm calling
:12:29. > :12:32."Eat, Sleep, Search, Delete". Earlier this week I asked the
:12:33. > :12:39.panellists to send me a screen grab of their internet history. To win
:12:40. > :12:45.points, the teams had to match these genuine internet search history to
:12:46. > :12:46.the panellists. Melvyn's team have been searching for the following in
:12:47. > :13:07.the past week. I have no idea. I have a feeling it
:13:08. > :13:13.might be Joe, because he's got a wide array of interests. Definitely
:13:14. > :13:20.Joe. Who from Rochelle's team is going to own up to this internet
:13:21. > :13:26.history? Joe Lycett. You are absolutely correct.
:13:27. > :13:31.Well done, you knew that Carl. Joe, we obviously looked up
:13:32. > :13:35.autonomous sensory meridian response. This is some weird shit.
:13:36. > :13:40.Would you like to explain to everybody exactly what this is? For
:13:41. > :13:45.my entire life when I've seen someone folding something or being
:13:46. > :13:51.delicate with it, with I get a tingle in my head which builds up to
:13:52. > :13:56.an amazing sensation. I get it from when people are being really nice
:13:57. > :14:04.and endearing. You like people being nice to you. He likes people fold
:14:05. > :14:08.towels. I was at school and this teacher was giving me advice. I
:14:09. > :14:15.thought, what's that feeling in the back of my neck. But he likes people
:14:16. > :14:20.folding towels. Look at this. Joe, what are you enjoying right now She
:14:21. > :14:24.is taking such care over it. You can't do it when you are in company.
:14:25. > :14:28.I'm not getting anything now, but if I was watching this in bed, this is
:14:29. > :14:33.what I would look like if I was in bed.
:14:34. > :14:40.I just love it. It is weird, because I've got some watering that I need
:14:41. > :14:48.to fold right now. -- some washing. They are dirty
:14:49. > :14:55.towels, Joe. Oh, so very dirty. Fold the lock out of you.
:14:56. > :15:01.Fold that shit. Naughty little towel.
:15:02. > :15:11.Wait until I put you in the airing cupboard. Do you know, genuinely I
:15:12. > :15:16.did get a little something? APPLAUSE Rochelle's team, who from
:15:17. > :15:25.Melvyn's team has been searching for the following
:15:26. > :15:34.The vegans are so weak that they can't spell properly.
:15:35. > :15:45.Animals in sexy pose insist Tarka dhal ingredients.
:15:46. > :15:50.I think it could be Carl. You are saying Carl is the obsess vegan
:15:51. > :16:00.gorilla sexy man? Who is going to own up to this internet history It
:16:01. > :16:04.is Carl. Obviously we were massively intrigued by animals in sexy poses,
:16:05. > :16:13.so we did our own search on the internet. We found these sexy
:16:14. > :16:27.animals. That is the fittest horse. The cheekbones on that! Look at this
:16:28. > :16:34.one. What a cock tease that one That one's fit but she knows she's
:16:35. > :16:39.fit. She's like, "You wish." You still would though wouldn't you
:16:40. > :16:43.Alannah from Cheshire, I've discovered beyond any reasonable
:16:44. > :16:48.doubt that you are not on your own, we probably all sweat over internet
:16:49. > :16:52.histories. Thank you for playing Grimmy Investigates.
:16:53. > :16:58.Time now for Rochelle and Melvyn, the challenges. I challenge our team
:16:59. > :17:02.captains to take a small sweat out on to the streets and into public
:17:03. > :17:06.spaces. This is about annoying customer service, when waiters are a
:17:07. > :17:10.little bit over the top or needlessly rude, like when you are
:17:11. > :17:16.in France or summat. Danny and Harry, does over the top customer
:17:17. > :17:20.service annoy you? Yes, when you get your food, and you start eating and
:17:21. > :17:24.you are having a conversation, because there is no loud music and
:17:25. > :17:30.you can hear the person, and the wait ser, "Is everything OK with
:17:31. > :17:36.your food, Sir?" And you say, yes, it's fine, I would locking tell you
:17:37. > :17:41.if it wasn't, go away. I wanted to know what Melvyn and Rochelle would
:17:42. > :17:46.be like if they became those over the top waiters for the day. I'm not
:17:47. > :17:54.scared of silly old Rochelle. She's a girl. Do you find him annoying?
:17:55. > :18:01.He's quite small as well. Small and annoying.
:18:02. > :18:05.Task number one. You are the worst waiter in the world. Take as long as
:18:06. > :18:14.you can to get the table's order right. Simple.
:18:15. > :18:20.Hi, can we start with drinks. Some drinks? Are you guys ready to order?
:18:21. > :18:25.It is tagliatelle with roasted aubergine and it says it comes with
:18:26. > :18:35.peas. How many roughly would you like? A lot. I have had it with
:18:36. > :18:40.potatoes. I'm dyslexic, you can spell
:18:41. > :18:47.potatoes? Some people ask for two portions of peace. Lots of peace. Do
:18:48. > :18:52.you have a preference for plates you want it to be served on, whether it
:18:53. > :18:57.is a round or square plate? I'm not fussed. Porcelain or a China plate.
:18:58. > :19:02.He is telling me there might not be peace. Wait one second. Steve, you
:19:03. > :19:10.are like a white version of my cousin Steve. Is your name Steve?
:19:11. > :19:22.Yes. You could be related to me I only came here baize wanted green
:19:23. > :19:27.peas. Usually they do 9 peace. -- 90 peas. Task two. Now thauf got
:19:28. > :19:34.their orderings eninterrupt their meal as many times as you can.
:19:35. > :19:39.Do you want any starters? I want to double check? How do you want your
:19:40. > :19:46.chicken, rare? Really well cooked. Really well cooked? Would you like
:19:47. > :19:54.any water for the table? Sues me Sir you have a call from Sara. She asked
:19:55. > :20:02.to be discreet? Would you like a drink.
:20:03. > :20:07.Would like some pepper, some Sam. Fresh chilli?
:20:08. > :20:16.I'm embarrassed. Sorry. Have you seen Inception yet. The ending on
:20:17. > :20:21.that is mind-blowing. We won't come here again. Is
:20:22. > :20:29.everything OK, gents? Would you like the pudding menu. Are you happy with
:20:30. > :20:33.the knives and forks? We are talking about a few business pieces. I'm
:20:34. > :20:41.sorry about that. I wanted to apologise for earlier on.
:20:42. > :20:46.Task number three. Oh, man. You ve been a terrible waiter but you still
:20:47. > :20:51.need to get paid. Give them your best sob story to get the best tip.
:20:52. > :20:57.I will give it a go. Do you want to leave a tip on here?
:20:58. > :21:03.Service isn't included. There is the bill, guys. My dog's having an
:21:04. > :21:10.operation next week. Just bear that in mind. They didn't put me through
:21:11. > :21:16.or put me through to second stages. I'm saving up for singing lessons.
:21:17. > :21:22.I've got to pay cash for it. For a tip and stuff, it is a heart
:21:23. > :21:31.operation, thank you very much. OK!
:21:32. > :21:41.Oh, God. Stick a fiver on there Thank you.
:21:42. > :21:46.Rochelle's team wins challenge. Well done, Rochelle. You won that.
:21:47. > :21:51.Melvyn, you slipped into the character of an competent buffoon
:21:52. > :21:54.with ease. Eliza Doolittle, are you a person
:21:55. > :21:58.who gets wound up with things? You have a new album. When you go to the
:21:59. > :22:02.studio, do you stress over it or have a new album. When you go to the
:22:03. > :22:06.you do any old shit? have a new album. When you go to the
:22:07. > :22:12.album just comes out like puke. You heard it here first, it is like
:22:13. > :22:19.puke. I have it here. I have a copy of the Eliza Doolittle album. Eliza
:22:20. > :22:24.Doolittle put this through my front door. A bit creepy, literally
:22:25. > :22:29.through the front door. At least it wasn't a petrol bomb. No! Let's move
:22:30. > :22:32.on to the next round. It is time for the return of the Sweat Box, where
:22:33. > :22:35.you get to help members of this very audience. They are going to tell you
:22:36. > :22:39.what they've been sweating about recently and you must do your best
:22:40. > :22:42.to help them out with some advice. Whichever team they decide has given
:22:43. > :22:48.them the most help will get the point. Who is first in the Sweat Box
:22:49. > :22:53.tonight? I'm Rob. Hi Rob, what's your issue? When Gow out to a club
:22:54. > :22:57.with a group of people. You are dancing and you have a good time and
:22:58. > :23:02.you have a pact and every one of them pulls and you are on your own.
:23:03. > :23:06.I need a game plan so I don't look like Billy No-Mates in the middle.
:23:07. > :23:13.So all your mates pull and you don't? Yes. Just pull anyone. Great
:23:14. > :23:22.advice Rochelle. Have you got any good advice? Are
:23:23. > :23:28.awe heterosexual or a homosexual. Your gaydar must be pretty off if
:23:29. > :23:36.you have to ask me. So you are gay? Yes. What's your patter like? My
:23:37. > :23:46.patter? Your chat. Why are you so angry Rob? I'm not angry. He's
:23:47. > :23:55.coming for you. CHEERING We'll share the seat. I
:23:56. > :24:01.said, but want to sit down? You might struggle because you are quite
:24:02. > :24:06.aggressive. I will try to be nicer, sorry. Maybe if you weren't so
:24:07. > :24:11.shouty, it would be alright. We should try for you to chat up
:24:12. > :24:21.Grimmy. You do look a wit like Harry styles, so it would work. And I look
:24:22. > :24:29.a bit like Niall, "Hello there! ." What would be an opening line. Go,
:24:30. > :24:36.oh my God, that's Nick Grimshaw off the television. I can't say that. It
:24:37. > :24:42.is bizarre enough so that they would be, like, what? I think you should
:24:43. > :24:47.hang out with less-hot friends. Melvyn's team, do you have any
:24:48. > :24:52.advice for our pal in the Sweat Box? Bring your friends with you. Go in
:24:53. > :24:59.and before they are about to pull, cock block them. Say, "How's your
:25:00. > :25:05.herpes coming on, shit like that." They are both pretty awful but I'm
:25:06. > :25:09.probably going to say Rochelle, because Rochelle. Rochelle's team
:25:10. > :25:13.you get the point. You helped him out there.
:25:14. > :25:20.APPLAUSE Who is next in the Sweat Box? I'm Dan. What is your sweat
:25:21. > :25:27.this evening, Dan? My sweat, Nick, is cats surprising me when I'm least
:25:28. > :25:32.expecting it. They seem to keep jumping up when I least expect it. I
:25:33. > :25:36.was waiting in my car with the window down, because it was hot A
:25:37. > :25:43.cat suddenly jumped into the car. It scared me to death, like. Danny are
:25:44. > :25:49.you a real person? LAUGHTER I wouldn't complaings you
:25:50. > :25:58.are a pussy magnet, obviously. APPLAUSE Melvyn! And cats don't like
:25:59. > :26:05.water. Live under the sea. What about catfish? Supersoaker.
:26:06. > :26:10.That's their advice. Whose advice do you want to take? I think Rochelle's
:26:11. > :26:20.team. Rochelle's team win another point!
:26:21. > :26:24.Who is next in the Sweat Box? Hello, I'm from Brazil. My sweat is, I
:26:25. > :26:32.don't understand why British people kiss with not much tongue. Like for
:26:33. > :26:37.me it is like a cat drinking the milk. You want lots of tongue? If
:26:38. > :26:40.you want to be an actress, fair enough, don't put your tongue, but
:26:41. > :26:51.if you are in a passionate moment you need to give it the tongue. OK.
:26:52. > :27:01.APPLAUSE How much due need, girl? It is not
:27:02. > :27:07.about what I need... LAUGHTER I will teach you, not like
:27:08. > :27:15.toerks like this. Why not? Because you don't like my things.
:27:16. > :27:23.LAUGHTER I think you're changing me. This is
:27:24. > :27:28.a threesome I could work with. Melvyn, do you have any advice? I
:27:29. > :27:31.don't know, but I'm moving to Brazil. I've got so much time for
:27:32. > :27:38.you. You're wonderful. I have some really good advice. I think you
:27:39. > :27:42.should tongue Melvyn. Sorry, no Melvyn's team do you have any
:27:43. > :27:52.advice? Is it the same, I'm guessing yes. You are both saying tongue
:27:53. > :27:59.Melvyn. I take Rochelle's team. That's the final round and tonight's
:28:00. > :28:07.winners are... Rochelle's team! CHEERING
:28:08. > :28:11.A big thanks to Rochelle, Joe, Danny and Harry Melvin, Carl and Eliza.
:28:12. > :28:13.This has been Sweat The Small Stuff. I've been Nick Grimshaw. You've been
:28:14. > :28:20.beautiful. Goodnight!