:00:07. > :00:22.This programme contains some strong language.
:00:23. > :00:31.APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Hello. I am Nick Grimshaw, welcome
:00:32. > :00:37.to Sweat The Small Stuff. Sweating it tonight, joining Melvin Odoom is
:00:38. > :00:41.Aisling Bea, a wonderful woman and ex-Coronation Street star who's
:00:42. > :00:47.sweating because for once she's in public fully clothed, it's Helen
:00:48. > :00:51.Flanagan. On Rochelle's team is a funny man Rob Beckett, and the
:00:52. > :00:55.winner of the X Factor, who is sweating because he has had a
:00:56. > :01:04.massive number two in the singles charts, it's James Arthur everybody!
:01:05. > :01:07.Let's go Sweat The Small Stuff. Hello everyone. This is the panel
:01:08. > :01:11.show all about those little annoyances in life because life s
:01:12. > :01:19.little annoyances are worth worrying about. This week I am sweating over
:01:20. > :01:23.celebrities' fashions faux pas. Lady Gaga was wearing a fake moustache.
:01:24. > :01:28.Look at this. That's stupid now She's having a laugh. She wanted to
:01:29. > :01:37.make an impression, it's like an impression of who? MrMonopoly! Can't
:01:38. > :01:41.tell them apart. Let's find out how our captains are. Rochelle, you
:01:42. > :01:48.tweeted a picture of yourself this week with Melvin and Marvin from
:01:49. > :01:52.love. My husband and my TV husband. Firstly, why am I not your TV
:01:53. > :01:58.husband? Well, you weren't in the picture. It was just a good caption
:01:59. > :02:02.to be honest. No offence! Secondly, either look happy about having that
:02:03. > :02:09.husband hashtag that you went for. They're both like... Marvin looks
:02:10. > :02:16.the most pissed off. I am really attached to this bitch! I want to
:02:17. > :02:23.say thank you by the way. You are welcome. Don't touch me, Melvin
:02:24. > :02:27.Melvin, you are 3-0 down in this series. How do you feel about that?
:02:28. > :02:31.Tonight do you think you might get a win under your belt? I hope so.
:02:32. > :02:38.First of all, this is exciting, James Arthur is here everybody! I
:02:39. > :02:45.think the most hysterical audience that we have had for a guest ever.
:02:46. > :02:50.Really? I am serious. Imdemonstrate. James Arthur.
:02:51. > :02:54.APPLAUSE AND CHEERING James, did you sweat about not
:02:55. > :03:01.getting to number one or are you happy with number two? I didn't mean
:03:02. > :03:05.that! I didn't mean number two like that. I was very happy, actually.
:03:06. > :03:11.This is the James Arthur single here. The song that went to number
:03:12. > :03:19.one I also have here. It was by a lady called Lorde. That's really
:03:20. > :03:24.good. Taking on Lorde is not easy. I liked it so much I got loads. I got
:03:25. > :03:29.one, two, three... LAUGHTER
:03:30. > :03:31.Nine, ten. I got loads basically. Rochelle, would you like one? It's
:03:32. > :03:44.really good. James, pass that Rochelle, would you like one? It's
:03:45. > :03:51.Rochelle. No! There you go, James. APPLAUSE
:03:52. > :04:01.I like a bit of destruction. We can break a CD! Yeah, you have to break
:04:02. > :04:09.it. Go lock you, Lorde. Not Jesus Christ if you are watching. Yeah!
:04:10. > :04:13.APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Helen, welcome to the show. Hello.
:04:14. > :04:16.Thank you for coming on the television programme. I imagine you
:04:17. > :04:21.are bored of being on the telly you view up on Coronation Street. Yes.
:04:22. > :04:26.There's you. Oh my God! When you left Corry you went to the real
:04:27. > :04:31.world and broke out of Weatherfield and went straight to the jungle
:04:32. > :04:37.Yes. I saw you got an amazing tan in the jungle. I am so pale. What was
:04:38. > :04:43.this? A spray tan. I couldn't have my... Done by one of the animals
:04:44. > :04:49.there?! James, you told our researcher that Helen Flanagan is
:04:50. > :04:53.your dream woman, didn't you? That researcher told me she wasn't going
:04:54. > :04:59.to say anything. James, I am so flattered, genuinely. Thank you very
:05:00. > :05:05.much. Oh! Do you want to chat her up now or is this too awkward? I am
:05:06. > :05:08.definitely plugging for the number afterwards. Let's play Quiff of
:05:09. > :05:14.Grimmy. It's about something that Rochelle off the telly has been
:05:15. > :05:23.sweating about recently. I have heard that 37% of men masturbate at
:05:24. > :05:35.work. Not me, Rochelle, I don't do it at work. James? Do I... Ever done
:05:36. > :05:40.it at work? No, not in my new job anyway.
:05:41. > :05:40.it at work? No, not in my new job to go to the toilet and do it
:05:41. > :05:44.it at work? No, not in my new job sometimes. We have done research, I
:05:45. > :05:49.thout we would -- thought we would find out how common it was. I can't
:05:50. > :05:55.believe we even did this. We rounded up people on the street, real
:05:56. > :06:11.people, and we genuinely asked them have you ever masturbated at work?
:06:12. > :06:20.We will see them swear on this. Yeah, pretty good! Oh!
:06:21. > :06:24.It's the Quiff of Grimmy. It's Bonn Fire Night. We got the public to
:06:25. > :06:29.swear on the Quiff of Grimmy they would tell the truth. All you have
:06:30. > :06:37.to do is decide if they look like the sort of person that masturbates
:06:38. > :06:43.at work. You get to go first. I swear that I will tell the whole
:06:44. > :06:49.truth. Have you ever masturbated at work? It's the look away. Held isn't
:06:50. > :06:54.saying yes. He has the shifty eyes, if they go like that... It means
:06:55. > :07:01.something is afoot. There's definitely a look of, how am I going
:07:02. > :07:07.to explain this to my mum? We are going to say yes. At work, no but
:07:08. > :07:16.let's say sometimes you do get erect at work but not masturbate. He gets
:07:17. > :07:20.erect at work. Where does he work, Spearmint Rhino? Rochelle, it's your
:07:21. > :07:23.turn. The next person, please I am Katie and I swear on the Quiff of
:07:24. > :07:30.Grimmy to tell the whole truth. Have you ever masturbated at work? James,
:07:31. > :07:38.what do you think? I don't think there's any doubt that she doesn't
:07:39. > :07:43.bank at work. Girls that have fringes like that normally bank
:07:44. > :07:48.bank at work. Girls that have work. Do you want to go yes? We are
:07:49. > :08:03.going to go yes. On fringe alone. Yes. Um... I have a long distance
:08:04. > :08:09.boyfriend. I hate her hiding her fringe then, as well. She was like,
:08:10. > :08:16.it's the fringe that gave it away. Melvin's team one for you guys. I
:08:17. > :08:40.swear to tell the truth. Have you ever masturbated at work? ASAP Del
:08:41. > :08:45.Boy is his real name. He looks very shocked. I have never seen a more
:08:46. > :08:50.shocked expression. I don't think he would do. I don't think he would,
:08:51. > :08:57.no. They're saying no. Unfortunately, yes. Reasons being
:08:58. > :09:04.the boss was... His boss was stressing him. All right. Rochelle's
:09:05. > :09:08.team, next one is for you. Hi, I swear to tell the whole truth on the
:09:09. > :09:17.Quiff of Grimmy. Have you ever masturbated at work? Not with them
:09:18. > :09:22.nails, surely. What do we think I think she could have. What do you
:09:23. > :09:28.think? I think she's like oh, no, that's so dread. She's not going to
:09:29. > :09:36.admit it. I think she's going to deny it. We will go for no then No!
:09:37. > :09:38.Yes, I have. It was a dare and there was a really hot guy so I went to
:09:39. > :09:41.the bathroom was a really hot guy so I went to
:09:42. > :09:49.just played around a was a really hot guy so I went to
:09:50. > :09:54.We didn't need details! Melvin's team, next one is for you guys. Hi,
:09:55. > :10:00.I swear by the Quiff of Grimmy to tell the whole truth. Have you ever
:10:01. > :10:04.masturbated at work? He looks disgusted by the question, I think.
:10:05. > :10:13.I don't think he looks like he has ever done it. Is that Screech from
:10:14. > :10:20.Saved by The Bell? What are we saying I think no. He might... You
:10:21. > :10:23.are saying yes. He is probably from a religious cult or something.
:10:24. > :10:28.They're saying no because he might be from a cult. No, not at work I
:10:29. > :10:35.work in a kids' play centre so that would be awkward, yeah, I know.
:10:36. > :10:40.APPLAUSE Probably best not to. At last
:10:41. > :10:49.someone with a moral code! People of Great Britain, thank you for playing
:10:50. > :10:56.Quiff of Grimmy. Bye, quiff! APPLAUSE
:10:57. > :11:00.Right, it's now time for Grimmy Investigates. The way this works is
:11:01. > :11:04.that every week I ask the listens of Radio 1 and followers of Sweat The
:11:05. > :11:07.Small Stuff on Twitter what their biggest sweats are concerning a
:11:08. > :11:12.topic. I pick one and attempt to investigate it for them. Once again,
:11:13. > :11:16.I think this deserves a detective series with an opening title
:11:17. > :11:21.sequence, don't you, Melvin? Yes. Last week I was Magnum PI. My mum
:11:22. > :11:27.said that's the only thing that s ever made her laugh on the show
:11:28. > :11:32.Thank you, mum. This week it's popular show Diagnosis Murder. Just
:11:33. > :12:07.locking Google it, man! APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
:12:08. > :12:11.James Arthur is on the show this week, we thought we would speak
:12:12. > :12:15.about TV talent shows. The sweat I have chosen to investigate is from
:12:16. > :12:31.Maia in Cornwall. She texted: Not pulling any punches are we?
:12:32. > :12:43.James Arthur? Who are your top six favourite people on X Factor this
:12:44. > :12:49.year? Um... I like um... I do like the three girls. They left last
:12:50. > :12:53.week. A big fan of the show! What about the rest of the panelists
:12:54. > :13:01.what do you think about the talent on talent shows, Helen Flanagan
:13:02. > :13:13.Um... Sorry... I am trying to think. I always think like that! No talent
:13:14. > :13:18.on TV, look at this! Maia because she thinks there's no talent any
:13:19. > :13:21.more I am going to investigate if any of tonight's panelists have
:13:22. > :13:25.hidden talents that are worthy of being televised. I asked each to
:13:26. > :13:29.tell me their secret talent and the other teams have to match the talent
:13:30. > :13:32.to the panelist. Right, Rochelle's team, the three hidden talents
:13:33. > :13:41.belonging to Melvin's team are as follows: One is very good and very
:13:42. > :13:48.fast at chopping celery. One of them can MC over an old school garage
:13:49. > :13:59.beat. And finally, one can recite pi to 15
:14:00. > :14:04.decimal places. Which goes with which panelist? If the celery thing
:14:05. > :14:09.is Helen, she's perfect. You love a woman that can dice celery, James
:14:10. > :14:13.Arthur? I think the celery might be Helen. You have your dream woman.
:14:14. > :14:20.James, you might not be able to handle this. Do you think this is
:14:21. > :14:26.Helen's? Helen is sort of a speed chopper? OK. Who can MC over an old
:14:27. > :14:32.school garage beat? Melvin definitely can but don't know if
:14:33. > :14:39.it's a bit obvious. You think Melvin can recite pi to 15 decimal places?
:14:40. > :14:45.He might get confused and go steak and kid me, beef... You think
:14:46. > :14:49.Melvin? Should we not be stereotypical and give him the pi,
:14:50. > :14:55.whatever it is. Melvin you think can recite pi to 15 decimal places? You
:14:56. > :15:01.think Aisling can MC over an old school garage beat? You could be
:15:02. > :15:06.right. Good luck everybody! OK. Aisling, please reveal to everybody
:15:07. > :15:12.here your hidden talent. Fingers crossed for garage. In west
:15:13. > :15:17.Philadelphia... No, I chop celery really fast. I do, yeah. Let's find
:15:18. > :15:23.out the speed at which you chop James, stop looking at me with that
:15:24. > :15:28.look! Your dream woman. Chill out, James off the X Factor. Let's see
:15:29. > :15:36.how fast you can chop celery and whether it's worthy for a point for
:15:37. > :15:40.your team. You don't want the ends in but don't waste them. I would use
:15:41. > :15:45.decorations for children maybe for stamping. There you go, Helen.
:15:46. > :15:47.APPLAUSE There we are. James, are you into
:15:48. > :15:59.that, James? I can do There we are. James, are you into
:16:00. > :16:05.James! # You are nobody until somebody loves you... Do you want to
:16:06. > :16:11.see Helen do it? James just wants to see... Why don't we do role play.
:16:12. > :16:16.You have just come home from work and say what's for dinner? Hi,
:16:17. > :16:23.darling, did you have a good day I did. I am making your dinner, I am
:16:24. > :16:28.making celery soup. Wow. You are really chopping there. Yeah. I mean,
:16:29. > :16:31.it's quite difficult, but I am making an effort. I do like the fact
:16:32. > :16:38.that you are trying really hard I am, I am making the effort. This is
:16:39. > :16:43.weird. I know! I am a bit embarrassed now. This is like the
:16:44. > :16:51.beginning of a bad porno. Melvin, could you please reveal your hidden
:16:52. > :17:01.talent? Melvin, if you would like to perform for us. Let's see if we can
:17:02. > :17:08.get a point for the team. One, two! Yo, listen, when I say sweat, you
:17:09. > :17:17.say the school stuff. Sweat. The small stuff! Here's my taste, the
:17:18. > :17:36.show is... What's going on with this? It's not Jools Holland!
:17:37. > :17:39.APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Melvin, I am going to give you a
:17:40. > :17:44.point for your team, but also a record deal! That was incredible.
:17:45. > :17:48.All this means is that Helen Flanagan can recite pi to 15 decimal
:17:49. > :18:01.places. Yeah. Go on, Flanagan can recite pi to 15 decimal
:18:02. > :18:06.OK. With Will the computer put pi to 15 decimal places in the screen
:18:07. > :18:25.Helen, do not look around. Helen Flanagan, in your own time, please
:18:26. > :18:35.recite pi. It is 3.141592653589 93. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
:18:36. > :18:45.# You're simply the best # Better than all the rest.
:18:46. > :18:58.I love you Helen Flanagan! Ladies and gentlemen, the very intelligent
:18:59. > :19:00.Helen Flanagan! So Maia I have completed my investigation and you
:19:01. > :19:04.are discovered you are probably right. There really is no talent on
:19:05. > :19:11.TV any more, apart from the fact that Helen Flanagan can recite pi to
:19:12. > :19:16.15 decimal places! Thank you for playing Grimmy Investigates
:19:17. > :19:22.everybody. It's time now for Rochelle and
:19:23. > :19:27.Melvin: The Challenges. Each week I challenge our team Captains to take
:19:28. > :19:32.a small sweat out to the streets and into the faces of of the public
:19:33. > :19:35.This week it's about disgusting bodily behaviour in public. When
:19:36. > :19:38.people think it's OK to cough and sneeze all over you and it's
:19:39. > :19:41.horrible and they should stop it now. What do you think is the most
:19:42. > :19:47.disgusting bodily thing people do in public? I will start this, I hate a
:19:48. > :19:55.burp. The burp is my most offensive thing. What's worse is a... I
:19:56. > :19:59.thought I would send you out to thing. What's worse is a... I
:20:00. > :20:02.out what would happen if they became those horrible people doing those
:20:03. > :20:12.horrible things. They should only ever be done in the privacy of their
:20:13. > :20:15.bathrooms. Let's find out who won. You might be winning now, Rochelle,
:20:16. > :20:20.but I am going to turn you into a loser. You will be crying like a
:20:21. > :20:24.little baby in a cot. I am losing and Melvin is beating me! I will
:20:25. > :20:32.crush her. When it comes to personal hygiene, I am the don. I don't know
:20:33. > :20:40.what that means, but it's important. I don't want to smell him at all, as
:20:41. > :20:46.soon as he breathes, it's death breath. Task number one. You are
:20:47. > :20:50.full of a snotty cold, sneeze loudly next to a member of the public and
:20:51. > :20:53.get them to give you a tissue. Fair enough. Can someone help me out
:20:54. > :21:19.please? LAUGHTER
:21:20. > :21:24.Excuse me, do you have a tissue No, sorry. I have this weird flu since I
:21:25. > :21:31.got bitten by a monkey at the zoo the other day.
:21:32. > :21:37.Over the top personal grooming in public. Get a member of the public
:21:38. > :21:39.to hold up a mirror so that you can pluck a nose hair. Get a member of
:21:40. > :21:52.the public to inspect your ear wax. Excuse me, could you do me a favour,
:21:53. > :21:58.could you hold that Excuse me, could you do me a favour,
:21:59. > :22:07.pluck this nose hair? Is that a normal colour
:22:08. > :22:16.Does it look all right? Does yours look that colour? Thank you very
:22:17. > :22:30.much. I usually get the kids to do it, but I can't see them any more.
:22:31. > :22:37.Task number three. You are paranoid about your odour. Get a member of
:22:38. > :22:41.public to smell your bad breath and check your pits don't stink. I don't
:22:42. > :22:50.think I can do this one. Do I have to do it? Excuse me. Can I ask you a
:22:51. > :22:55.favour? I am a bit embarrassed to ask, but I am going on a date, I am
:22:56. > :23:02.a bit para-Moyed that -- paranoid that I smell. I have an interview
:23:03. > :23:07.and I am a bit paranoid about my breath. If you could check my breath
:23:08. > :23:15.so that I am cool for the interview later on. Do you want some... What's
:23:16. > :23:24.that? Chewing gum. Thank you so much. That doesn't smell. Thank you
:23:25. > :23:29.very much. What about... Can you check that? You will be all right,
:23:30. > :23:40.mate. What about my armpits? You will be all right. High-five to
:23:41. > :23:48.that. Pound it! Thank you. You have really helped me out. It's OK. Wish
:23:49. > :23:53.me luck. Thanks. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
:23:54. > :24:04.And that was a draw. A point to both teams. Melvin, you were
:24:05. > :24:07.And that was a draw. A point to both there. You picked the biggest guy in
:24:08. > :24:10.the shopping centre. He was so hench! Let's move on to the next
:24:11. > :24:13.round. Time for the Sweat Box and you get to help members of this very
:24:14. > :24:17.audience. They will tell you what they've been sweating about recently
:24:18. > :24:21.and you must do your best to help them out with advice. Which ever
:24:22. > :24:24.team they decide has given the most help will get the point. Who is
:24:25. > :24:31.first in the Sweat Box tonight? Hello. I am Sara. Hi, Sara. Hello.
:24:32. > :24:36.What's your problem? What's making you sweat? My problem is when I go
:24:37. > :24:41.to a nightclub I get loads of boys trying to buy me drinks. Nightmare,
:24:42. > :24:45.I get that! I cave in and let them buy me one and they follow me around
:24:46. > :24:48.the whole night. I don't know how to get rid of them. What can I do to
:24:49. > :24:55.make them leave? Melvin, you are normally that guy. So, how could she
:24:56. > :24:58.put men like you off? You need to blank him and pretend you have a
:24:59. > :25:03.twin centre, that's what happens -- a twin sister. That's what happens
:25:04. > :25:11.to me. Do you think it might be time to stop being such a big perv? It's
:25:12. > :25:14.what makes you, you. You could also, if you think of something horrible,
:25:15. > :25:21.just start vomiting a little bit out of your mouth. And go, oh, my God,
:25:22. > :25:27.where are you from originally? And then see. If they still stay you
:25:28. > :25:30.have found yourself a husband. Great advice. Thank you. Any advice on
:25:31. > :25:36.this side? What could Sara do? You could come across as a massive
:25:37. > :25:43.handful. Really put him off... That's a good thing. Shut up! I like
:25:44. > :25:48.a massive handful. If you start crying and be like, you have got the
:25:49. > :25:54.wrong one! And drop it on the floor and storm off, he will be like,
:25:55. > :25:59.nutcase. Your options are, be completely crazy or vomit
:26:00. > :26:06.nutcase. Your options are, be yourself. I think I will have to go
:26:07. > :26:12.for Rochelle. Rochelle's team. APPLAUSE
:26:13. > :26:18.Who is next in the Sweat Box? I am ASAP Del Boy! . Yeah!
:26:19. > :26:35.APPLAUSE AND CHEERING I love you. ASAP! ASAP! Yeah! What's
:26:36. > :26:43.your sweat? Basically I am addicted to wearing tracksuits. Tell it like
:26:44. > :26:49.it is. I wear them every time. I am like a black chav. Unfortunately,
:26:50. > :26:54.when I go for job interviews I am in my tracksuit. When I am with my
:26:55. > :26:59.missus I am usually in a tracksuit, when I go clubbing they don't aallow
:27:00. > :27:03.me in. I need a solution from you guys. It stops you getting work
:27:04. > :27:07.Yeah. I think it might be the name you have given yourself on your CV.
:27:08. > :27:20.People are like OK, Barbara. Let's look at her. Yeah, Kevin. ASAP Del
:27:21. > :27:27.Boy. Bin. Couldn't you just be a PE teacher? Now you don't know until
:27:28. > :27:34.they go up and touch you, that it's not a Tuxedo. It's true. That's
:27:35. > :27:44.classy. Whose advice will you go for, become a PE teacher, or... What
:27:45. > :27:56.did you call it the track-edo? It's really cool. I will go for Melvin's
:27:57. > :28:02.team. Thank you Sweat Box-ers! So, that is it. I can reveal tonight's
:28:03. > :28:06.winners are: Melvin's team! APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
:28:07. > :28:12.winners are: Melvin's team! Finally, Melvin, you win. A big
:28:13. > :28:16.thank you to Rochelle, Rob and James, Melvin, Aisling and Helen.
:28:17. > :28:19.This has been Sweat The Small Stuff. I have been Nick Grimshaw. You have
:28:20. > :28:32.all been beautiful. Good night.