:00:00. > :00:21.This programme contains some strong language.
:00:22. > :00:31.APPLAUSE AND CHEERING Hello. I am Nick Grimshaw. Welcome
:00:32. > :00:34.to Sweat The Small Stuff. Yeah! Joining Melvin Odoom's team this
:00:35. > :00:39.week is a comedian, James Acaster and the girl who's sweating because
:00:40. > :00:45.she's in the sure whether to use her English or American accent, it's
:00:46. > :00:52.Kelly Osbourne. On Rochelle Humes's team a comedian and star of Hebburn,
:00:53. > :00:58.Chris Ramsay and the Countdown star sweating because she's never seen so
:00:59. > :01:09.many under-65s in the audience before, it's Rachel Riley! Let's go
:01:10. > :01:12.and Sweat The Small Stuff. Come on! Hello everyone. This is the panel
:01:13. > :01:15.show all about those little annoyances in life because life s
:01:16. > :01:19.little annoyances are really are worth bothering about. Like this
:01:20. > :01:25.week I have been sweating about those men who leave wives for
:01:26. > :01:31.younger models. Did you see Ashton Kutcher's and Demi Moore's divorce
:01:32. > :01:37.come through, it's paved the way to marry Mila Kunis. It's weird how
:01:38. > :01:43.much she looks like Demi. She's not so much Demi Moore, she's Demi less,
:01:44. > :01:48.Demi less wrinkles, less kids, less Bruce Willis, Demi less surgery and
:01:49. > :01:54.Demi less about 20 years. Let's start off by finding out how our
:01:55. > :02:03.team captains are. Before I forget, I have got you this. I have a
:02:04. > :02:12.tenner, is that all right? What I thought you were doing Movember I
:02:13. > :02:20.am sorry. That's really embarrassing. You are not doing
:02:21. > :02:23.Movember? LAUGHTER
:02:24. > :02:27.Melvin Odoom, how are you? Very well. I forgot to mention last week
:02:28. > :02:35.you left your shoes in my dressing room. I have them here.
:02:36. > :02:44.APPLAUSE Have hub a nice week, you like to
:02:45. > :02:51.use the dating website things? Tinder? You are not on? I was for a
:02:52. > :02:57.little bit. I love that, I was just looking! Hi, Kelly Osbourne. Hi
:02:58. > :03:00.It's amazing to have you on the show. Thank you What's the best
:03:01. > :03:07.thing about coming home? Just being home. I mean, this sounds crazy and
:03:08. > :03:12.it's a bit of a weird analogy, in America everything as you know is
:03:13. > :03:17.very, very, like you buy tampons, and they're like have a nice day and
:03:18. > :03:24.you are like no, I am not going to have a locking nice day with this!
:03:25. > :03:28.Here! You come home and I will be walking down the street in London
:03:29. > :03:33.and someone will go look at that purple head twit, at least they re
:03:34. > :03:40.telling me the truth. I get a guest on and say what's been annoying you?
:03:41. > :03:46.I think I found my inner peace. Really, let's start with Lady Gaga.
:03:47. > :03:53.I am only joking. How about we don't. I have already got in enough
:03:54. > :03:56.locking trouble with that! Now the reason Twitter was really good is
:03:57. > :03:59.because when she was like, I am sorry, here is a cake, you used the
:04:00. > :04:04.best hashtag that's ever been used in the history of the internet.
:04:05. > :04:12.Kelly replied to the picture of the cake with the hashtag:
:04:13. > :04:19.APPLAUSE Can we move on, please? Yes, can we
:04:20. > :04:24.move on? Rachel Riley off Countdown and Strictly Come Dancing is here,
:04:25. > :04:29.everybody. How are you feeling post-Strictly? I feel like I have
:04:30. > :04:35.come out of a cave and not know what's going on. You improved
:04:36. > :04:39.Saturday night television for millions of dads. That might have
:04:40. > :04:44.been your downfall. Mums were like, I am not voting for that skinny
:04:45. > :04:51.bitch, I am voting for Ben Cohen! That's who mums want. I will make
:04:52. > :04:57.the lasagne tonight! Who is that man? Ben Cohen. Who is that man A
:04:58. > :05:03.World Cup winner. He won the World Cup? Yes. Terrifying. Can I ask you
:05:04. > :05:09.a maths question? You can ask it. OK, what's the bigger number? Ten
:05:10. > :05:13.million or the combined age of Countdown's studio audience? Well,
:05:14. > :05:21.sometimes the audience isn't that full. I am going to go with ten
:05:22. > :05:28.million. They all come in coach loads. They come on a coach? Is it
:05:29. > :05:32.like stray dogs, a man around town with a coach and sees an old lady,
:05:33. > :05:38.and all of a sudden she's like why am I on Countdown? It's time for
:05:39. > :05:42.Quiff of Grimmy. This week it's about something which Melvin has
:05:43. > :05:46.been sweating about recently. What is that thing? This week I am
:05:47. > :05:51.sweating whether women fake orgasms. Oh my dwod! God! I can't imagine
:05:52. > :05:59.it's ever happened to me because I put it down in the bedroom. Let me
:06:00. > :06:06.tell you right now you are deluded. It's like hurry up, get the fuck off
:06:07. > :06:08.me! APPLAUSE
:06:09. > :06:12.That's horrible. Doesn't make any sense. Sex is supposed to be a
:06:13. > :06:18.beautiful thing that brings two people together and their souls
:06:19. > :06:25.unite. Quite frankly, Kelly, saying get off me is appalling behaviour.
:06:26. > :06:28.You do the oh, great, I am done Next time they'll definitely do it
:06:29. > :06:38.well because they think they're so brilliant the first time. When was
:06:39. > :06:44.the last time you got a shag then? That is irrelevant!
:06:45. > :06:48.APPLAUSE We are going to find out how common
:06:49. > :06:52.it was, we put it to the test and rounded up people on the streets and
:06:53. > :06:57.genuinely asked them, hey, sorry to interrupt, but have you ever faked
:06:58. > :07:09.an orgasm? We will see the person swear on this!
:07:10. > :07:18.APPLAUSE AND CHEERING The Quiff of Grimmy! Rochelle, this
:07:19. > :07:22.is for you and you and you. Hi. We swear on the Quiff of Grimmy to tell
:07:23. > :07:33.the truth. Have you ever faked an orgasm? If they're together shit
:07:34. > :07:36.just got really awkward. His hair is incredible, it's like he combed it
:07:37. > :07:50.up from his back. Shall we go yes? Yes and yes? No. Um... I don't think
:07:51. > :07:57.so. Can men fake orgasms? Yeah. Oh, no, you can't. It's got to come out.
:07:58. > :08:04.You didn't answer properly. I said no. Better be no. It better be no,
:08:05. > :08:10.all right! Melvin's team, here is one for you guys. Hi, I am Maisie. I
:08:11. > :08:14.swear on the Quiff of Grimmy to tell the whole truth. Have you ever faked
:08:15. > :08:20.an orgasm? What do we think? This where it falls down. We are asking
:08:21. > :08:26.her have you ever been dishonest, why is she going to tell the truth
:08:27. > :08:32.now? That's amazing. If she will fake an orgasm, sorry, but the Quiff
:08:33. > :08:39.of Grimmy is nothing. People treat this like a Bible. Every man should
:08:40. > :08:43.go in the bedroom with Quiff of Grimmy and do this. Does she fake
:08:44. > :08:58.them? I think she's going to say yes. Yes. A lot. I love her! She
:08:59. > :09:03.looks like a little guilty for doing it. It's like it's not your fault.
:09:04. > :09:09.She's like, I do. Blame the men Rochelle's team, this one's for you.
:09:10. > :09:17.We swear on the Quiff of Grimmy to tell the truth. Have you ever faked
:09:18. > :09:25.an orgasm? Oh my God, they look devastated that La Senza is boarded
:09:26. > :09:29.up! What do we think of their faces, fakers or not? I don't know, they
:09:30. > :09:32.seem extremely nervous. I reckon they're going to go with whatever is
:09:33. > :09:37.the least embarrassing answer. Do you think she has and he hasn't He
:09:38. > :09:48.is going to say yes and she's going to say no. No. Yes. With him? No.
:09:49. > :09:52.Look at her response. Look, she s denied the fact she's faked an
:09:53. > :10:04.orgasm with her boyfriend. With him? No. Thank you the people of Great
:10:05. > :10:14.Britain for playing Quiff of Grimmy. APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
:10:15. > :10:19.OK. It's time for Grimmy Veryings. -- investigates. Every week I ask
:10:20. > :10:22.the listeners of Radio 1 and followers of Sweat The Small Stuff
:10:23. > :10:27.what are their biggest sweats concerning a topic. I will attempt
:10:28. > :10:31.to investigate for them, like an investigator. Once again, I think
:10:32. > :10:36.this deserves a detective series opening titles sequence. Last week I
:10:37. > :10:42.dressed up as that bloke from Diagnosis Murder. Here he is.
:10:43. > :10:47.But this week it's Shaft. Now I know what you are thinking. Surely
:10:48. > :10:53.Grimmy's not sexy enough to become one of television's greatest
:10:54. > :10:57.lothario decks. -- detectives. Well, no, I am probably not. I am in the
:10:58. > :11:00.black either. -- I am not black either. Melvin's done this one!
:11:01. > :11:39.Yes! As Kelly is on the show this week
:11:40. > :11:44.the chosen sweat topic was, what is the most annoying thing about
:11:45. > :11:47.parents? Thanks! You are welcome. Now the majority of texts and tweets
:11:48. > :11:53.were people telling stories in which their parents have embarrassed them
:11:54. > :11:57.in some way. One text said, once went to a gig with my dad who
:11:58. > :12:01.proceeded to shout at the DJ on stage to get off as he was rubbish
:12:02. > :12:08.when the crowd went quiet. That s mortifying. Was it your gig? Yes! So
:12:09. > :12:10.because of the embarrassing parents stories I have decided to
:12:11. > :12:13.investigate into whether or not celebrities have embarrassing
:12:14. > :12:20.parents, too. We are going to play a game called You're not my parents, I
:12:21. > :12:23.hate you! Melvin's team, the following stories are genuine
:12:24. > :12:27.stories in which one of Rochelle's team have been embarrassed by their
:12:28. > :12:33.parents. But which unof them had to stop going to their family and
:12:34. > :12:39.friends New Year's Eve party because their dad insists on doing a
:12:40. > :12:44.impression of Tommy Cooper? Which one of their dads on holiday
:12:45. > :12:51.performed a sexy striptease in front of a crowd of people to I'm Too
:12:52. > :12:56.Sexy, leaving the panellist mortified. And, which one of their
:12:57. > :13:00.mothers went missing at a kids' birthday party when they wanted to
:13:01. > :13:07.cut the cake only to be found being sick in a bush after getting on the
:13:08. > :13:15.lambrinis? I think the Tommy Cooper has to be... I think it's Rachel. I
:13:16. > :13:19.think the lambrini is Rachel. The Tommy Cooper is going to be Chris's
:13:20. > :13:25.dad. You are saying Tommy Cooper impression belongs to Chris's
:13:26. > :13:32.father? Whose dad performed a sexy striptease leaving that child
:13:33. > :13:41.mortified? Rachel. Rachel's dad you are saying. And whose mum got so
:13:42. > :13:47.pissed at a party they threw up in a bush? That's your answers. Locked
:13:48. > :13:52.in. That one's right, like mother, like daughter! Let's find out if you
:13:53. > :13:56.are right. You will win a point for your team for each one you get
:13:57. > :14:05.correct. Rachel, which story relates to you? My dad did a sexy
:14:06. > :14:11.striptease. Yes! Here he is tonight... Not really. Rochelle
:14:12. > :14:19.which story relates to you? You were right. Like mother, like daughter.
:14:20. > :14:24.Which means, Chris, that Fez relates to you in which way It was really, I
:14:25. > :14:28.don't know, he is a funny guy. That's not him, that's the actual
:14:29. > :14:34.Tommy Cooper. He does it every year. The first year it happened and I was
:14:35. > :14:38.like, that's the worst thing ever. It's so fucking horrible. Let's find
:14:39. > :14:41.out how embarrassing an impression it really is. Ladies and gentlemen,
:14:42. > :14:58.please welcome Chris's dad to the stage! Only joking Fuck off!
:14:59. > :15:05.APPLAUSE Chris Ramsay, that's your dad. Thank
:15:06. > :15:15.you very much, thank you skrech Very much!
:15:16. > :15:23.APPLAUSE Yeah! Ladies and gentlemen, MrBill
:15:24. > :15:29.Ramsay, AKA Tommy Cooper, live on the London stage.
:15:30. > :15:34.APPLAUSE Well done team. People of Great
:15:35. > :15:37.Britain, I have completed my investigation. And discovered that
:15:38. > :15:45.all parents are embarrassing. Thank you for playing Grimmy Investigates.
:15:46. > :15:51.APPLAUSE OK. It's now time for Rochelle and
:15:52. > :15:56.Melvin: The Challenges. I challenge our captains to take a small sweat
:15:57. > :16:00.out into the streets and the public's faces. This week it's those
:16:01. > :16:04.people you meet that are never happy of photos that are taken of them and
:16:05. > :16:08.always searching for the perfect photo and it's never going to happen
:16:09. > :16:13.because they look like butternut squashes. Kelly, there's loads of
:16:14. > :16:17.photos taken of you. You are on the telly in America and here. Are you
:16:18. > :16:30.worried there might be a bad photo of you taken? What about this one?
:16:31. > :16:39.APPLAUSE Let me just explain... No, no! The
:16:40. > :16:45.picture speaks 1,000 words. No, no! I hate you. I sent Rochelle and
:16:46. > :16:48.Melvin out to find out what would happen if they became those annoying
:16:49. > :16:56.people who are never happy with a photo you take of them in Rochelle
:16:57. > :17:00.and Melvin: The Challenges. Once I am done with Rochelle she's
:17:01. > :17:06.going to want to go back to her Saturday job. You get me? Because
:17:07. > :17:11.she's in The Saturdays. Not worried at all. He is tiny. She's in The
:17:12. > :17:17.Saturdays, right? Good, then that joke works. You are never happy with
:17:18. > :17:23.your photograph, get the same person to retake your photo... As many
:17:24. > :17:28.times as you can. Come on then. Excuse me. Do you mind taking some
:17:29. > :17:31.pictures of me in the background? Sorry, can you take a picture for
:17:32. > :17:46.me? Can I do it from a different angle,
:17:47. > :17:52.please? That's my bad side. From this angle a bit, from here, yeah.
:17:53. > :18:01.Have a look. Do a couple more, do you mind? Do one more. I look a bit
:18:02. > :18:14.short. I will stand up. Take one more. OK. All right. Thank you.
:18:15. > :18:20.Task two is, you feel a bit of a loner in all these pictures, get a
:18:21. > :18:27.photo with somebody else's boyfriend. Get a photo of someone
:18:28. > :18:30.else's girlfriend. Is that your boyfriend? Yeah. Do you mind if I
:18:31. > :18:34.take a picture with him? Can I ask you a weird question, I told my mum
:18:35. > :18:38.I am on holiday with my girlfriend and I don't want to lie, can I take
:18:39. > :18:41.a picture of your girlfriend? I am doing this project at university of
:18:42. > :18:48.getting pictures of sexy guys and getting as many as I can. She's
:18:49. > :18:54.laughing! Go ahead. Is that OK? Thank you so much. Give him a kiss
:18:55. > :19:08.on the cheek. No! Get so upset by your picture... A
:19:09. > :19:14.member of the public has to console you. OK. For a bonus point get them
:19:15. > :19:18.to say you look like Kanye West Get them to say that you look like
:19:19. > :19:33.Rochelle from The Saturdays. Thank you. Do you mind taking a photo for
:19:34. > :19:38.me? Not at all. LAUGHTER
:19:39. > :19:42.I am sorry. I look awful. I look really bad, sorry. Do you have a
:19:43. > :19:50.tissue or anything? All right, thank you very much. Take care. I am
:19:51. > :19:58.sorry, I am so emotional. Can I get a hug? Sorry. Everyone always says I
:19:59. > :20:03.look like that girl from the girl band. Rochelle from The Saturdays.
:20:04. > :20:13.Everyone always says it to me. You are actually her, though?
:20:14. > :20:17.APPLAUSE APPLAUSE.
:20:18. > :20:23.The winner, you get a point for your team!
:20:24. > :20:32.James, why have you been sweating about people who don't play board
:20:33. > :20:37.games properly? That's amazing. That's such a James Acaster sweat.
:20:38. > :20:43.Next week it's people who don't put card abegans on correctly --
:20:44. > :20:47.cardigans on correctly. Which is everybody. What is it about board
:20:48. > :20:52.games? People need to respect the rules, dprimy. -- Grimmy. I was
:20:53. > :20:57.around a lady's house, we were flirting with each other. I just
:20:58. > :21:03.love James. Top shelf, Twister was on there. I am good at Twister, I
:21:04. > :21:06.wanted to show off. How about we play one on one, if you want to get
:21:07. > :21:10.fresh with someone but you are not getting fresh with them, because
:21:11. > :21:18.they're opposite ends of the spectrum, it's like bang on in the
:21:19. > :21:22.middle. It's intimate, yet formal. Your hand's under her bum but you
:21:23. > :21:30.are following orders. It landed on feet for half an hour. Just walking
:21:31. > :21:35.around a Twist mat really boring. She was just like, tell you what,
:21:36. > :21:43.let's get rid of the spinner, we will make it up as we go along. Oh,
:21:44. > :21:47.yeah! I was like, no. Spinner is there to help regulate the speed of
:21:48. > :21:52.the flirting. Some rules are there to protect us, helps keep the
:21:53. > :21:57.innocence of the game alive. If you are playing with the spinner, yeah,
:21:58. > :22:01.say you got right foot green. Left foot is opposite green. That's like,
:22:02. > :22:07.all the other greens are between your feet, like. The Green Zone
:22:08. > :22:11.They spin and they get right hand green, they put their hand in
:22:12. > :22:19.between your legs, right. Then you can both be like...
:22:20. > :22:27.LAUGHTER Oh, oh, fancy that. Get rid of the
:22:28. > :22:34.spinner, it's just you going, put your hand there! I refused. Dream on
:22:35. > :22:42.I am playing that version of the game. Stopped playing, packed it up.
:22:43. > :22:51.Make sure spots are facing back into the box. Went Home. The next round,
:22:52. > :22:54.it's time for the Sweat Box where you get to help actual members of
:22:55. > :22:57.this actual audience. They will tell you what they've been sweating about
:22:58. > :23:01.recently and you must do your best to help them out with advice. Which
:23:02. > :23:07.ever team they decide has given them the most help will get the point.
:23:08. > :23:12.OK? Let's do this. Who is first in the Sweat Box tonight? Hi, I am
:23:13. > :23:17.Bethany. Hi, Bethany! Basically a few months ago I joined a dating app
:23:18. > :23:20.on my phone to get used to the first date scenario. Yeah. I started
:23:21. > :23:25.talking to this guy, really nice. He asked for my mum. We were -- for my
:23:26. > :23:29.number. We were texting. He asked me out for a drink.
:23:30. > :23:35.LAUGHTER Carry on, Bethany! I bought a new
:23:36. > :23:39.dress, new shoes. Here we go, first date. Then towards the date he just
:23:40. > :23:50.went cold on me. I didn't hear from him. The date never happened. A bit
:23:51. > :24:00.awkward, but that Guy's Melvin. Oh, Melvin! You little shit. Did you
:24:01. > :24:15.have dark hair before? Yeah, I dyed it. I came off that application ..
:24:16. > :24:24.He is not to blame. She's a nutter! I think that Bethany, I think that
:24:25. > :24:36.you deserve the date. I do too. What about if you and Melvin have a date
:24:37. > :24:43.right now? Melvin, you follow me. You sit here. Nasty Melvin, you can
:24:44. > :24:50.sit here, asshole! Bought new shoes for you. I am cringing for you! This
:24:51. > :24:56.is so awkward. 500 people here and cameras on you. We will see how this
:24:57. > :25:02.pans out. Get on with it. You look lovely. Melvin, why didn't you call
:25:03. > :25:07.me? Yeah, Mel. I had to babysit for Rochelle. I would never leave you
:25:08. > :25:14.with my children. Shut up, you are not even here! Shall we leave them
:25:15. > :25:22.here? Me and James can be team Captain. There's going to be changes
:25:23. > :25:26.around here! Who's next, please Hi, I am Pamela. My sweat is the
:25:27. > :25:30.invasion of my personal spacial in the gym. -- space in the gym. I will
:25:31. > :25:33.be having a run, minding my own business. Someone always stands on
:25:34. > :25:37.the machine next to me. Start looking at my screen, ramping up the
:25:38. > :25:42.pace. The next thing I know I am in this complete standoff and it's war.
:25:43. > :25:46.I need to know what to do. I have to say I completely agree with you I
:25:47. > :25:52.have this all the time. But then I switched it in my brain, let's turn
:25:53. > :25:57.this into a positive, because if he was not next to me, I wouldn't beat
:25:58. > :26:01.him and match him. Turn it into a positive, that's good. Maybe do
:26:02. > :26:04.trash talk, as well. Stop pretending like you are not involved. Turn to
:26:05. > :26:09.them and go, you started something you can't finish. Melvin, why are
:26:10. > :26:16.you looking over here? You are meant to be on a date with Bethany. I
:26:17. > :26:21.think Pamela is quite nice actually. I have good advice here. It is that
:26:22. > :26:26.I think you should just take two unfit people with you and stick them
:26:27. > :26:32.either side, you look like the winner. Grimmy and Melvin are free
:26:33. > :26:38.tomorrow. Whose advice are you going to go for? Rochelle's team or
:26:39. > :26:44.apparently now James's team? I am going to go for Rochelle. Thanks,
:26:45. > :26:51.Pamela. Can we have Bethany back in the Sweat Box now? Melvin, you can
:26:52. > :26:57.go back over there now. I am comfortable. No, get back over
:26:58. > :27:02.there. Five minutes, the police weren't involved. Welcome to the
:27:03. > :27:07.team, Melvin. What's your advice to Bethany here who has been through
:27:08. > :27:11.what she's been through? She should bill him for the new dress and
:27:12. > :27:17.shoes. I will get you that money. James, any advice for poor Bethany
:27:18. > :27:21.who had to interact with Melvin in her own free time? Now you have had
:27:22. > :27:27.the date you know what you may or may not have missed out on. So, you
:27:28. > :27:32.can move on. Whose advice are you going for? I am going to have to go
:27:33. > :27:42.for this team. Team Rochelle, of course. Thank you. That's the end of
:27:43. > :27:48.the Sweat Box. APPLAUSE
:27:49. > :27:54.OK. At the end of the show, when I watched the show back I thought we
:27:55. > :27:59.would make it tense. Make it tension everybody. -- make it tense
:28:00. > :28:04.everybody! That's so tense! Ladies and gentlemen, I can reveal
:28:05. > :28:10.that the winners of tonight's very tense show are...
:28:11. > :28:13.I can't believe this, it's so tense. LAUGHTER
:28:14. > :28:25.OK. The winners are... It's Melvin's team! Thank you so Rochelle, to
:28:26. > :28:29.Chris and Rachel, Melvin, James and Kelly. This has been Sweat The Small
:28:30. > :28:31.Stuff. I have been Nick Grimshaw. You have been beautiful. Good night
:28:32. > :28:52.everybody.