0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains some strong language
0:00:16 > 0:00:22APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:00:22 > 0:00:24Yeah!
0:00:26 > 0:00:28Hello!
0:00:28 > 0:00:30Hi! Hello, I'm Nick Grimshaw,
0:00:30 > 0:00:32welcome to a brand-new series of Sweat The Small Stuff!
0:00:32 > 0:00:38- We are back, baby! Yeah! - CHEERING
0:00:38 > 0:00:39Hello, welcome.
0:00:39 > 0:00:42This is the panel show all about those little annoyances in life.
0:00:42 > 0:00:45Because life's little annoyances really are worth sweating over.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48This week I've been sweating about celebrity tattoos.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Justin Bieber has got a brand-new tattoo.
0:00:50 > 0:00:54Here it is, it is on his chest. There he is. Wow!
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Crucifix right between the tits.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01He actually got this done on a plane at 40,000 feet.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04When asked whether it was painful having to put up with
0:01:04 > 0:01:06a little prick at altitude, the tattoo art...
0:01:06 > 0:01:10Let me do that again cos I actually laughed.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12You can't laugh at yourself.
0:01:12 > 0:01:15When asked whether it was more painful having to put up with
0:01:15 > 0:01:17a little prick at altitude,
0:01:17 > 0:01:20the tattoo artist replied that Bieber was just as bad at ground level.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22Yes!
0:01:22 > 0:01:26- APPLAUSE - First joke of the show!
0:01:30 > 0:01:34Oh, yeah! There we go!
0:01:34 > 0:01:36We're back.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Also, I'm sweating about a band of giant rats
0:01:38 > 0:01:41that have been spotted in Birmingham,
0:01:41 > 0:01:44and I don't mean band like they hang out in Camden, wear skinny jeans
0:01:44 > 0:01:47and have slept with Alexa Chung - I mean like a pack of rats
0:01:47 > 0:01:51that are the same size as a small cat.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54Officials in Birmingham have said there's no need to panic,
0:01:54 > 0:01:57but experts have said they're the worst thing to come out of Birmingham
0:01:57 > 0:01:59since the Brummie accent.
0:01:59 > 0:02:01Yes!
0:02:01 > 0:02:05CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:07 > 0:02:11It's a personal best. Right, let's get on with the show. We're going to meet the teams.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13First, we have the lovely Rochelle Humes, everybody
0:02:13 > 0:02:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:16 > 0:02:19Who is on your team, please, Rochelle?
0:02:19 > 0:02:21We have a very funny comedian, Ed Gamble,
0:02:21 > 0:02:23- and star of The Call Centre, Nev Wilshire.- Yay!
0:02:23 > 0:02:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:26 > 0:02:29And we now need to meet who's on
0:02:29 > 0:02:32teeny, little man Melvin O'Doom's team.
0:02:32 > 0:02:37- Melvin is back, everybody. A round of applause for that. - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:37 > 0:02:39Melvin, who is on your team?
0:02:39 > 0:02:42On my team we've got the very funny Katherine Ryan,
0:02:42 > 0:02:49- and the very beautiful Alexa Chung. - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:02:49 > 0:02:51We're going to find out how our team captains are.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54Rochelle, I've not seen you since the last series. How are you?
0:02:54 > 0:02:57- Very well, how are you? - I'm very, very good, thank you.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00- And how's the little one? - He's over there.
0:03:00 > 0:03:06LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Melvin O'Doom, how are you?
0:03:08 > 0:03:13I just want to say congratulations on getting your breakfast show radio nomination.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16- Oh, yeah - that was just me, not you.- Oh!
0:03:16 > 0:03:19AUDIENCE GROANS
0:03:19 > 0:03:22Nev from The Call Centre, everybody.
0:03:22 > 0:03:25- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Hi, Nev.
0:03:25 > 0:03:29Nev is the head of call centre in Swansea.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32And you're known for being a bit of a zany, wacky boss.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35but what kind of boss would you say you are, Nev?
0:03:35 > 0:03:39An all-round hero.
0:03:39 > 0:03:44And last series we saw you having to deal with a girl who'd shat in a bin.
0:03:44 > 0:03:48- Oh, yeah.- How did you know it was a girl that did it?- Yeah.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51Unless some bloke had gone in the girls' toilet, it was...
0:03:51 > 0:03:54Why was she shitting in a bin in a toilet?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56Who gets that close and then goes,
0:03:56 > 0:03:59"Oh, fuck it, I'll just shit in the bin"?
0:03:59 > 0:04:02- You'd be surprised. - Why would you shit in a bin?
0:04:02 > 0:04:07I want whoever that was that shat in Nev's bin to get in touch with me
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- because I want to know why. - Can you tell me afterwards, please?
0:04:10 > 0:04:14You should be telling me, because I found this in your bin.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17That's... This is from Rochelle's dressing room.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19As you are, Nev, an expert salesmen,
0:04:19 > 0:04:22do you think you could sell me anything?
0:04:22 > 0:04:26- Do you want me to sell you that turd in the bin?- Yes, please.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Erm, yeah. Please don't see this as shit in a bin,
0:04:29 > 0:04:31- this is your opportunity for recycling.- Yes.
0:04:31 > 0:04:35- Where there's muck, there's money, as you're aware.- Don't touch it, Nev!
0:04:35 > 0:04:39- Stuck in there.- It's not a prop! It's actual shit!
0:04:40 > 0:04:44Oh, Jesus, Nev! Thank you, Nev, everybody!
0:04:44 > 0:04:47APPLAUSE
0:04:47 > 0:04:51- Alexa Chung, hello, welcome to the show.- Hi, Nick Grimshaw.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55- It's nice to have you on the television. It is.- Good to be back.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58Alexa, you've released a book here, it's called It.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00This is Alexa Chung's book.
0:05:00 > 0:05:03- It's basically all about your style inspirations.- Yes.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07- I've had a look through it.- It's just pictures, innit?- Mainly, yeah!
0:05:07 > 0:05:10- It's pictures with some bullet points that I wrote in a hurry.- Yeah!
0:05:10 > 0:05:14- It's still got way more words than a Katie Price novel.- That is true.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17It was meant to be a photography book.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20But then they said that they maybe weren't good enough.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23So you had to fill it in with some words?
0:05:23 > 0:05:25- I had to fill it in with some chat, yeah.- I like that.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28I didn't realise it was called It. I thought it was IT.
0:05:28 > 0:05:31I bought it for my IT department.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Yeah, they look major!
0:05:33 > 0:05:35They're all in a denim short, like,
0:05:35 > 0:05:37"Hello, would you like loft insulation?"
0:05:37 > 0:05:40We are all going to learn now from Alexa Chung,
0:05:40 > 0:05:43who's well fashionable, what's in and what's out, basically.
0:05:43 > 0:05:47- The little game is called It Or Not It.- OK.
0:05:47 > 0:05:52So, first up, Alexa Chung, espadrilles - it or not it?
0:05:52 > 0:05:53LAUGHTER
0:05:53 > 0:05:55- I mean, I love an espadrille.- Yeah?
0:05:55 > 0:05:59- I think they're great but they do make your feet smell weird.- OK.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01- I think they're it.- They're it?
0:06:01 > 0:06:04What about backpacks? It or not it?
0:06:06 > 0:06:09The problem is with backpacks, they're incredibly ageing.
0:06:09 > 0:06:13As soon as you put one on and you're not at school, it's just a bit weird.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15What about little baby turtles?
0:06:15 > 0:06:17- AUDIENCE:- Aw!- They're adorable.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19- Oh, they're so it!- They're so it.
0:06:19 > 0:06:20Especially on a little sandwich.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25And what about, er...buckets?
0:06:25 > 0:06:28- It or not it?- I don't know.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Is Rochelle going to poo in one?
0:06:30 > 0:06:34- That is IT!- That would be the thing.
0:06:34 > 0:06:36She knows fashion. Alexa Chung, everybody.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:06:41 > 0:06:44Right. Over here we have a wonderful stand-up comedian, Ed Gamble.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47- Hello, welcome to the show, Ed Gamble.- Thank you for having me.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:06:49 > 0:06:51Now, Ed, it is fair to say that you are...
0:06:51 > 0:06:54- You've got a very nice face. - WHISTLING
0:06:54 > 0:06:55- Thank you.- A lovely face.
0:06:55 > 0:06:57You must have been literally sweating because,
0:06:57 > 0:07:00over the past year, you have had quite the transformation.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02You have lost an incredible amount of weight, I've been told.
0:07:02 > 0:07:06- Well, in two years, I lost about 6st.- 6st!
0:07:06 > 0:07:09We have a picture of Ed, which I didn't know was you
0:07:09 > 0:07:14- when I saw this picture.- Right. - Wow!- That's Ed Gamble!
0:07:14 > 0:07:17I love that, "Oh!" That's still me!
0:07:17 > 0:07:21That's still an insult if you go, "Oh, that is disgusting!
0:07:21 > 0:07:24"Thank you so much for sending your thin twin brother!"
0:07:26 > 0:07:29How's it been being a comedian now, now that you're, kind of,
0:07:29 > 0:07:32a pin-up, as well? A bit of a sex symbol?
0:07:32 > 0:07:36I find that difficult in the UK to talk about that on stage, to say, "I've lost a lot of weight,"
0:07:36 > 0:07:40because self-improvement is not something to be applauded in the UK.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42It's so true!
0:07:42 > 0:07:45If I did it in America, people would be going, "Whoo! Yeah, you go, sir!
0:07:45 > 0:07:47"You take control of your life!"
0:07:47 > 0:07:51Say it in England and I get, "Yeah, I bet you were funnier when you were fat, you prick."
0:07:51 > 0:07:54- APPLAUSE - Can't win.- It's so true!
0:07:57 > 0:08:01Right, we need to say hello to Katherine Ryan, everybody.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04APPLAUSE
0:08:04 > 0:08:08- And you are from the country of Canada.- I am.- But you've lived here for years now - like six years.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Are the nice things that you found slightly charming at the start
0:08:11 > 0:08:14- now beginning to wear thin? - No! I love the UK.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17- I have a British...person living with me...- Who?
0:08:17 > 0:08:20- ..that fell out of me. She's my kid. - Oh, OK.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24You know, I'm very proud to be Canadian but I'm glad I live in the UK.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Is that something you'd really sweat about in Canada?
0:08:27 > 0:08:31- There's nothing to sweat about in Canada.- Moose attack? Moose?- Yeah.
0:08:31 > 0:08:33Or getting your beaver stuffed?
0:08:33 > 0:08:35LAUGHTER
0:08:35 > 0:08:37I enjoy having my beaver stuffed in the UK.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39I mean, I enjoyed it then.
0:08:39 > 0:08:42Nothing is scary unless you're a baby seal in Canada.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45Right, let's get on with the show.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48It's time for the Sweatbox, where you get to actually help
0:08:48 > 0:08:50members of this very audience.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53They'll go into the Sweatbox and tell you what they've been sweating about
0:08:53 > 0:08:57and you must do your best to help them out with some good advice.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00Whichever team they decide has given them
0:09:00 > 0:09:04- the most help will win the point. You get it?- Got it!- Get it!
0:09:04 > 0:09:07So who is first in the Sweatbox tonight?
0:09:07 > 0:09:10- Hi, Grimmy, my name's Luke. - Hi, Luke. What's your sweat?
0:09:10 > 0:09:13My sweat is my mate Elijah Rocks trying to be friends with
0:09:13 > 0:09:16every celebrity he possibly can. He's turned into a nightmare.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19- Like Grimmy? - I've made a career out of it!
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Yeah, anywhere we go, he'll literally push past little kids,
0:09:25 > 0:09:29he'll interrupt interviews, he'll try and take selfies and post them online.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32- Wow! Who's he met? - He's met a lot of celebrities.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34- Er, Kelly Brook.- Yes.
0:09:34 > 0:09:38- Gareth Barry.- Yes. - Jermain Defoe.- Elijah's here.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40Elijah's in the audience.
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Stand up, Elijah. There he is.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45APPLAUSE
0:09:45 > 0:09:49Hi, Elijah. It just so happens, there's loads of celebrities here.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51I've got some over here and I've got some over here.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54- Come and be our friends! - Come and befriend the panel.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Show us, Elijah. How do you do it? Go.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02What I'd do is, when they're in the middle of talking, I'll cheekily...
0:10:02 > 0:10:06- ED:- Is it always when people are talking?- It has to be cos that's the element of surprise.
0:10:06 > 0:10:10- It's the nice way to do it. - Also known as rudeness!- Yeah!
0:10:11 > 0:10:16- You're ambushing always?- Ambush is a good word.- It's not a good word!
0:10:17 > 0:10:18But it is THE word.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22So you'll be talking, giving an interview, and I might cheekily come behind you.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26So I'll pretend to be talking. So, er, what are you doing later on? Oh!
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Hello. Smile a bit. That's it.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30Yeah. I mean, it does work!
0:10:30 > 0:10:32It worked right away.
0:10:32 > 0:10:34Have you been arrested before?
0:10:36 > 0:10:40- Not in this country, no. - I think I love you for this.- Aw!
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- Why don't we all have a nice picture together?- Can we do that?
0:10:43 > 0:10:46Yeah, everyone get around. Come on, he's a nice guy.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48APPLAUSE
0:10:51 > 0:10:55- All get in. Are you ready? - Surprise!- Surprise!
0:10:57 > 0:11:03That is nice! I'm going to tweet that right now. I'm going to tweet that right now.
0:11:03 > 0:11:06- Yeah, we love you, Elijah. - What a great guy!
0:11:06 > 0:11:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:11:08 > 0:11:12- So, what advice have we got for Luke?- Luke, I can see what's wrong.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15You are obsessed with taking photos of your friend Elijah next to celebrities.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19You should just tell him how you feel!
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Just say, "Elijah, I want to take a picture of you. Look surprised."
0:11:23 > 0:11:26- I've got a good way of shutting it down.- Yeah?
0:11:26 > 0:11:27When you see it happening,
0:11:27 > 0:11:30you go over there with a big bag of human hair -
0:11:30 > 0:11:32all different colours, all mixed up -
0:11:32 > 0:11:35and you go up to Elijah and you say, "Have you asked them yet?"
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Anyone would run from that!
0:11:37 > 0:11:40LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Who would you like to award the point to?
0:11:44 > 0:11:46- That is good!- Er...
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Well, I don't think any of you helped, really.
0:11:49 > 0:11:52I'll have to go with this team, cos that's just going to make me out to be a weirdo.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55Melvin's team get another point.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02- We liked Elijah, didn't we?- We did. - Shall we get Elijah in the Sweatbox?
0:12:02 > 0:12:04- I think so.- Yeah, come on, Elijah!
0:12:06 > 0:12:09Come on! Here y'are, Luke. Do one!
0:12:11 > 0:12:15- Oh, hello. And what is your sweat? Do you have one?- I do, actually.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19So, Grimmy, lad, I love my girlfriend
0:12:19 > 0:12:22- but I fancy her sister even more. - What?!
0:12:22 > 0:12:24- AUDIENCE EXCLAIM - Oh! Oh! Oh!
0:12:24 > 0:12:27Well, basically, if she's watching, you don't have a girlfriend,
0:12:27 > 0:12:30so problem solved! Straight in there.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33- I disagree that this is a bad thing, right?- What are you talking about?
0:12:33 > 0:12:37No, I've got a logical reason why. This is what you've got to tell your girlfriend
0:12:37 > 0:12:40when she finds out about this. You've got to tell her it's a compliment
0:12:40 > 0:12:42because they're from the same family - they share features.
0:12:42 > 0:12:47You fancy her sister because she reminds you of your girlfriend, right?
0:12:47 > 0:12:48To truly compliment your girlfriend,
0:12:48 > 0:12:52you need a picture of her granny in a bikini above your bed.
0:12:52 > 0:12:55APPLAUSE
0:12:55 > 0:12:56Any advice, Alexa?
0:12:56 > 0:13:00My only advice would be to not come on here and say that!
0:13:02 > 0:13:04- Katherine?- Well, it's quite common.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06It's known as Pippa Middleton syndrome and, er,
0:13:06 > 0:13:10what you need to do is... There's a clinic near my house.
0:13:10 > 0:13:14If you get 150 quid together, go down there,
0:13:14 > 0:13:16just get yourself neutered.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Elijah, whose advice are you going to take(?)
0:13:21 > 0:13:23I'm going to have to go for Rochelle's team.
0:13:26 > 0:13:30Thank you, Elijah. Right, who's next in the Sweatbox?
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Hi, everyone. My name is DJ MC Keen
0:13:33 > 0:13:36and my sweat is that I've been for about 15 years rapping
0:13:36 > 0:13:39and I haven't got a record label yet.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42So I would like to ask you, how could you advise me on this issue?
0:13:42 > 0:13:44- OK, you're DJ MC Keen?- Yes.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48And your sweat is that you're not famous, basically?
0:13:48 > 0:13:53It's not about famous. I want to do a revolution in hip-hop culture.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56- ALEXA: He's a sweating the big stuff, though!- I know.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58He's very sweaty and serious.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01So we are going to see just how good you are right now.
0:14:01 > 0:14:04This is DJ MC Keen and Busy Lady.
0:14:04 > 0:14:05# Busy, busy
0:14:05 > 0:14:06# Busy, busy lady
0:14:06 > 0:14:08# Busy, busy A busy, busy lady
0:14:08 > 0:14:10# You're running over London Milano, Las Vegas
0:14:10 > 0:14:11# In Cali-California
0:14:11 > 0:14:13# Hurry up, my baby
0:14:13 > 0:14:15# You are a busy, busy A busy, busy lady
0:14:15 > 0:14:17# Busy, busy A busy, busy lady
0:14:17 > 0:14:19# You're running over London Milano, Las Vegas
0:14:19 > 0:14:21# In Cali-California... #
0:14:21 > 0:14:25- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - # Busy lady, b-b-busy! #
0:14:25 > 0:14:28SHE'S not busy, cos she's just on the Southbank, like,
0:14:28 > 0:14:31- "I've got me hot pants on!" - I love that, by the way.
0:14:31 > 0:14:32# Busy, busy Busy, busy lady. #
0:14:32 > 0:14:35I'm, like, not into rap too much cos I think sometimes it can be
0:14:35 > 0:14:39- a bit misogynistic.- Mm.- But that's lovely, cos it's about a busy lady.
0:14:39 > 0:14:42She's got a job. She's got a job, she's looking after her kids.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45She's good with admin. It's about a lady who's good with admin.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48She's busy, busy - very, very busy -
0:14:48 > 0:14:51but their sense is that she doesn't respect... LAUGHTER
0:14:51 > 0:14:54Do you have any advice, this team over here, what he could do?
0:14:54 > 0:14:57DJ MC Keen, this is the feminist anthem of the summer. I love it.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59I think you should tap into this market.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02'Pon de school run - you know what I'm saying?
0:15:03 > 0:15:07- Who do you want to be like? Tupac? - Let me... Let me point out something.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09OK. Go on.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12You live in a world where every rapper speaks about drugs and guns.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14I want to do something different.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Nietzche said, "If you want to do something different,
0:15:16 > 0:15:19"you open yourself the doors of madness."
0:15:19 > 0:15:21Fantastic. Change your name.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23LAUGHTER
0:15:23 > 0:15:24Keeno?
0:15:24 > 0:15:27APPLAUSE
0:15:31 > 0:15:35This is your chance to perform in front of the UK's favourite breakfast show DJ...
0:15:35 > 0:15:36and Grimmy.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Grab yourself a microphone and perform for all of us.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:42 > 0:15:45DJ MC Keen, yes!
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Thank you! Yeah, I'm ready.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Ladies and gentlemen, DJ MC Keen with Busy Lady.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:15:53 > 0:15:55# Ba-ba-ba-ba
0:15:55 > 0:15:56# Ba-ba ba-ba-ba
0:15:56 > 0:15:59# Ba-ba busy lady
0:15:59 > 0:16:02# Hey! Busy, busy Busy lady
0:16:02 > 0:16:05# Please, listen to me for the first time in your life
0:16:05 > 0:16:08I am DJ MC Keen and you are
0:16:08 > 0:16:09# Yes, you are
0:16:09 > 0:16:10# A busy, busy
0:16:10 > 0:16:12# A busy, busy lady
0:16:12 > 0:16:14# You are a busy, busy
0:16:14 > 0:16:15# Busy, busy lady
0:16:15 > 0:16:17# Busy, busy A busy, busy lady
0:16:17 > 0:16:19# Running over London, Milano, Las Vegas
0:16:19 > 0:16:21# In Cali-California Hurry up, my baby
0:16:21 > 0:16:23# You are a busy, busy
0:16:23 > 0:16:24# A busy, busy lady
0:16:24 > 0:16:26# Busy, busy A busy, busy lady
0:16:26 > 0:16:28# Running over London, Milano, Las Vegas
0:16:28 > 0:16:31# In Cali-California Hurry up, my baby. #
0:16:31 > 0:16:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Thank you very much.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Yeah!
0:16:40 > 0:16:42I love Busy... Busy lady!
0:16:42 > 0:16:45Rochelle, do you think that could be a number-one hit?
0:16:45 > 0:16:49- # Busy, busy, busy, busy... # - Maybe for the Saturdays! Not that busy, though!
0:16:49 > 0:16:51No!
0:16:51 > 0:16:54I think that me and Grimmy should be, like,
0:16:54 > 0:16:57what do they call them - vide-hos? When they're, like...
0:16:58 > 0:17:00I think they prefer to be called dancers.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02LAUGHTER
0:17:02 > 0:17:03APPLAUSE
0:17:05 > 0:17:08- Any advice over here? - Well, to perform, which he just did.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10He took the advice so we win.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12OK. Who do you want to give the point to?
0:17:12 > 0:17:15- I think the guys over there. - Melvin's team.
0:17:15 > 0:17:16APPLAUSE
0:17:18 > 0:17:20That is the end of the round. Thank you, Sweatbox.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22CHEERING
0:17:25 > 0:17:30- Nev, why have you been sweating about sushi?- Oh, sushi.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33- Yeah.- It's... You know how downtrodden and under the thumb I am.
0:17:33 > 0:17:36- Yes.- She's taking me out for sushi now.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39She's gone into loving sushi and I can't stand it.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42So we went to the London Palladium the other day
0:17:42 > 0:17:45and beforehand there was this restaurant opposite.
0:17:45 > 0:17:48We had two little bits of rice with fish in the middle.
0:17:48 > 0:17:49That's sushi, Nev.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51LAUGHTER
0:17:51 > 0:17:55- 150 quid.- No!- Where's the rest of it? Where's my chips?
0:17:57 > 0:18:00- I can't imagine sushi in Swansea is big.- No.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03It's like a tuna baguette, sushi.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06- Are you a taramasalata man?- A what?
0:18:06 > 0:18:09I know it's not sushi and I don't care about the answer but
0:18:09 > 0:18:11I just want you to say taramasalata.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14- Taramasalata.- Oh, yeah.
0:18:14 > 0:18:18Right, it's time now for Rochelle and Melvin: The Challenges.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21This is where each week I challenge our team captains to take
0:18:21 > 0:18:24a small sweat out into the streets and into the public's faces.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27This week's sweat is about those annoying job interviews where
0:18:27 > 0:18:30everything just seems to go wrong and the interviewers are...
0:18:30 > 0:18:32They're just dicks, basically.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34We've all had those horrible interviews.
0:18:34 > 0:18:38We have seen some stories in the papers recently. Check this one out.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47You must interview a lot of people,
0:18:47 > 0:18:50Nev, cos you are the CEO of the call centre.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52Have you ever made them do a Brent dance?
0:18:52 > 0:18:56- No, I have had somebody sing, "I'm a little teapot short and stout."- No.
0:18:56 > 0:18:59That's what I'm talking about. You're exactly the problem.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03What I've done is set up some job interviews up for people to
0:19:03 > 0:19:06be Rochelle and Melvin's assistants on this show to find out just
0:19:06 > 0:19:10what happens when they become the world's most annoying interviewers.
0:19:10 > 0:19:14Let's find out who won in Rochelle and Melvin: The Challenges.
0:19:17 > 0:19:18HE GRUNTS
0:19:22 > 0:19:26I'm a people person. I understand the human brain and how it ticks.
0:19:29 > 0:19:33S Club Juniors, I'm in the band. The Saturdays, I'm in the band.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35I just never really had a bad interview.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38I'm going to get in with my questions and get out.
0:19:38 > 0:19:39Like it's a bank robbery.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42This is a bank robbery of the mind.
0:19:42 > 0:19:43LAUGHTER
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Read your applicant's CV...
0:19:47 > 0:19:49..and try to catch them out three times.
0:19:49 > 0:19:50This is going to be easy.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55Hi.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57- How you doing, bruv?- How are doing? - Melvin, man. Are you cool?
0:19:57 > 0:20:00- Yeah, I'm good, thank you. - Pleasure, pleasure.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02Me and the other guys insist on meeting everyone now
0:20:02 > 0:20:05cos we've had a few problems with runners and stuff in the past.
0:20:05 > 0:20:09It says here that your best attribute is making people laugh.
0:20:09 > 0:20:15- OK.- Go on, then.- Do you like sort of like jokes or...?- Yeah.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- What's your best joke? That's cool.- Oh, God.
0:20:18 > 0:20:23- I see that you've been in musicals, which is fun.- I have.- I love Grease.
0:20:23 > 0:20:24Yeah, Grease was a good one.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27# One, two, three, four, happy days
0:20:27 > 0:20:29# Wednesday, Thursday, happy days. #
0:20:29 > 0:20:30It was great.
0:20:30 > 0:20:33Happy Days wasn't actually in Grease. That was a test.
0:20:33 > 0:20:35- I meant the song.- Oh, OK.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37- It wasn't in Grease. - No, I know that.- OK, fine.
0:20:37 > 0:20:40What's the last funny thing that happened to you?
0:20:40 > 0:20:43Well, I fell down the stairs. It's not really that funny, though.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46- Did you have to go to hospital?- No. - OK, that's not funny, then.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50- Says you here you speak French. - Yeah.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Hola, me llamo Rochelle.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54Ah, bonjour. Ca va?
0:20:54 > 0:20:55I was speaking Spanish.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57LAUGHTER
0:20:57 > 0:20:59- No?- Just a test.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01What font did you use on this CV?
0:21:01 > 0:21:03It must have been...
0:21:03 > 0:21:09- Do you not know?- Garamond. - What size is it? Did you write this?
0:21:09 > 0:21:12- Yeah, I wrote that. It's 12. - Are you sure it's 12?
0:21:12 > 0:21:18- Cos it looks like 13, 14.- 11 is the small bit and 12 is the bigger bit.
0:21:18 > 0:21:19OK, I'll believe you this time.
0:21:19 > 0:21:20Another thing on your CV.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23It says you are a fast learner. Can you repeat these?
0:21:23 > 0:21:2715, 18, 92, 67, 87, 77, 17, 7.
0:21:27 > 0:21:3057, 92, 87, 97, 16, 7.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32- Nearly.- Right?
0:21:32 > 0:21:36Are there any other falsities in your CV or just that one?
0:21:36 > 0:21:38That was not a false...falsity.
0:21:42 > 0:21:43During the interview,
0:21:43 > 0:21:46become obviously disinterested in the applicant.
0:21:46 > 0:21:51To win a point they must question your actions. Nice.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55So, Chris, tell me a bit about yourself.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57I have an identical twin brother.
0:21:57 > 0:21:59We sing together all the time.
0:21:59 > 0:22:04- What's your story? - I always had a passion for TV.
0:22:04 > 0:22:07I always grabbed my dad's camera, messing around with it.
0:22:07 > 0:22:08None of that offended me.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11What I did, actually, I'm not going to lie to you...
0:22:11 > 0:22:13It just sort of made me stronger.
0:22:13 > 0:22:19I used to go to loads of productions in the Southbank. Southbank and BBC.
0:22:19 > 0:22:26From the age of 13, 14, we've been working for a production company.
0:22:26 > 0:22:31I always had a massive passion for photography and film and TV.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33I do stuff at home.
0:22:34 > 0:22:37- Are you all right?- Sorry, carry on.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40- Are you sure? I can wait until you're finished.- Carry on.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42That's what I want to do. I love TV.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48LAUGHTER
0:22:48 > 0:22:49Is that it?
0:22:53 > 0:22:55Ask your applicant to agree...
0:22:55 > 0:22:58..to as many unreasonable demands as you can. Piece of cake.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02This isn't like a normal 9 to 5 job.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04I want to make sure people I'm working with,
0:23:04 > 0:23:06- we're on the same page. - I'm happy to do anything, yeah.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09- How do you feel about dry-cleaning?- Dry-cleaning.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12- Would you be cool to drop it off and stuff like that?- Yeah.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Every Tuesday, I tell my husband I'm here and I'm not.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18- Where are you?- Well... - I'm not happy to do that.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20- You're not happy to?- No, sorry.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22I'm seeing eight girls at the moment.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Would you be able to keep track of them
0:23:24 > 0:23:27with an Excel spreadsheet or anything like that?
0:23:27 > 0:23:30I can schedule it all for you to make sure that you're appreciating them
0:23:30 > 0:23:32in the right proportion.
0:23:33 > 0:23:37On a Saturday, he hosts The Voice, which I actually don't like.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39I'm not sure if you watch it but if you could,
0:23:39 > 0:23:43just ten highlights or something, e-mail them to me straight after.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45OK.
0:23:45 > 0:23:49- Would you be able to organise restraining orders?- Yeah.
0:23:49 > 0:23:54- Do you know how to kill and pluck a chicken?- Erm...- You can learn.
0:23:54 > 0:23:55It's on YouTube.
0:23:55 > 0:23:58- Are you cool to learn?- Er...
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Yeah.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03A few years ago I met this beautiful woman
0:24:03 > 0:24:05and found that she used to be a man.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09I need someone who will be able to check before I pass on a number.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13- Just touch of the bulge and double-check?- I'm being serious.
0:24:13 > 0:24:18I'll have to just pretend I dropped something and, like, "Oh, God."
0:24:18 > 0:24:20- Are you cool to do that?- Yeah.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22APPLAUSE
0:24:22 > 0:24:24CHEERING
0:24:26 > 0:24:28So good.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31Rochelle, you win a point for your team.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33CHEERING
0:24:35 > 0:24:39Don't worry if you're watching this at home and panicking, because they
0:24:39 > 0:24:43did actually get a real interview afterwards to work on the show.
0:24:43 > 0:24:46Well done, Rochelle and Melvin, everybody.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52- And Alexa Chung.- Yeah?- Why have we been sweating about Facebook posts?
0:24:52 > 0:24:55So, I'm of an age now where a lot of people I know have been having
0:24:55 > 0:25:00babies and that's so nice and lovely and I completely condone it.
0:25:00 > 0:25:01Well done, everyone.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05But I don't like when I then send said baby a gift
0:25:05 > 0:25:09and they'll write on the Facebook as if the baby is writing to me
0:25:09 > 0:25:11and they'll say,
0:25:11 > 0:25:13"Thanks, Auntie Alexa, I'm really enjoying my de-de-deh.
0:25:13 > 0:25:17"My mummy says that de-de-deh." As if they're the baby.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19The baby can't write. The baby doesn't know I'm alive.
0:25:19 > 0:25:24The baby doesn't fucking like the clothes. The jig is up.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26LAUGHTER
0:25:26 > 0:25:28OK, it's time for Quick Fire Sweats.
0:25:30 > 0:25:31In Quick Fire Sweats,
0:25:31 > 0:25:35the teams will have to pitch a sweat to the audience against the clock.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38If they manage to persuade the majority of the audience
0:25:38 > 0:25:41that it is truly annoying, they get a point for their team.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43Rochelle's team, you're going to go first.
0:25:43 > 0:25:46Would you like to pitch against the clock, Ed Gamble?
0:25:46 > 0:25:47I would, thank you.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50Around where I live, in my local area, there's a lot of adults who
0:25:50 > 0:25:54insist on transporting themselves to the shops on children's scooters.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56I do not think this is acceptable
0:25:56 > 0:25:59and do not see how you think you can be taken seriously as an adult.
0:25:59 > 0:26:01You may as well ride round on a fucking space hopper,
0:26:01 > 0:26:03as far as I'm concerned.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06A woman bumped into me and said, "Excuse me, I'm late for a meeting."
0:26:06 > 0:26:08I turned round and she was on a child's scooter.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10I don't know what meeting she's going to where
0:26:10 > 0:26:12she thinks she's going to be taken seriously.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15"Do that, do that, get the finances together." And then just ride off
0:26:15 > 0:26:20on one of these things just, "See you later guys!"
0:26:20 > 0:26:21KLAXON
0:26:22 > 0:26:26Having said that, I've never been on one before and I now see the appeal.
0:26:28 > 0:26:29Audience, what do we think?
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Hold up your red one if you agree that is annoying or blue one
0:26:32 > 0:26:36if you're like, "Do you know what? It's all right. I'm not bothered."
0:26:37 > 0:26:40Definitely red faces. It does annoy the audience as well.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42- So you win a point for your team.- Yes!- Well done.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48- Right, Melvin's team, do you have a quick fire sweat?- Yes.
0:26:48 > 0:26:49Well, summer is coming.
0:26:49 > 0:26:53That's festival season and we know that the girls are going to be
0:26:53 > 0:26:56out in their teeny, tiny, little denim shorts.
0:26:56 > 0:27:02That is a promise of thrush. I can't stand it.
0:27:02 > 0:27:04They sit down in the grass
0:27:04 > 0:27:08and then they stand up on it's like farting confetti all over the place.
0:27:08 > 0:27:09I don't like it.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11If you've been to a festival, you come home
0:27:11 > 0:27:16and deliver a grass baby, then your denim shorts are just too, too short.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18I can see into the future when you bend over.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20KLAXON
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Do very, very short denim shorts which allow
0:27:23 > 0:27:25you to see inside of a person annoy you?
0:27:27 > 0:27:30That's a lot of reds. Mainly men holding up blues.
0:27:30 > 0:27:32LAUGHTER
0:27:32 > 0:27:35Melvin's team, you get a point.
0:27:35 > 0:27:36APPLAUSE
0:27:38 > 0:27:44OK, that is the end of the show. I can reveal that the winners are...
0:27:45 > 0:27:47I can't believe what I'm going to say now.
0:27:47 > 0:27:49I actually can't believe this.
0:27:49 > 0:27:51The winners...
0:27:51 > 0:27:53are...
0:27:53 > 0:27:54Melvin's team.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:28:03 > 0:28:07A big thank you to Rochelle, Ed, Nev, Melvin, Katherine and Alexa.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09This has been Sweat The Small Stuff.
0:28:09 > 0:28:12I've been Nick Grimshaw. You've all been beautiful.
0:28:12 > 0:28:13Good night, everybody.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE