Episode 5

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0:00:17 > 0:00:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:24 > 0:00:28Hello. Hi. Hello.

0:00:28 > 0:00:32I'm Nick Grimshaw and welcome to Sweat The Small Stuff,

0:00:32 > 0:00:35the panel show all about those little annoyances in life.

0:00:35 > 0:00:38Because life's little annoyances are sometimes worth sweating over

0:00:38 > 0:00:40so we made a telly show about it.

0:00:40 > 0:00:44This week, I have been sweating about the terrifying passage of time.

0:00:44 > 0:00:49Have you seen this week that Posh Spice has turned 40 years old?

0:00:49 > 0:00:51She is a grown-up.

0:00:51 > 0:00:5540, which is, coincidentally, where her last single charted.

0:00:55 > 0:01:01So happy birthday. 40, one year for every calorie she has ever consumed.

0:01:03 > 0:01:05She is now at an age where zig-a-zig-ah

0:01:05 > 0:01:07is just the sound she makes when she sits down.

0:01:08 > 0:01:10"Oh, zig-a-zig-ah."

0:01:11 > 0:01:13All right, let's get on with the show.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16First up, it's the go just Rochelle Humes' team.

0:01:16 > 0:01:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:18 > 0:01:23On my team, I have top Canadian comedian, it's Bobby Mair.

0:01:25 > 0:01:29And the gorgeous Grammy-award-winning star, it's Foxes.

0:01:29 > 0:01:35- Hi, Foxes.- Hello.- Next, he's my fun-size friend, Melvin O'Doom.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37Who is on your team, Melvin?

0:01:37 > 0:01:42On my team, I have comedian and star of Sherlock, Yasmine Akram

0:01:42 > 0:01:44and I have The Voice presenter and pop star

0:01:44 > 0:01:46and he's my mate as well, Marvin Humes.

0:01:46 > 0:01:48CHEERING

0:01:51 > 0:01:54- Yes, I made it. - Look at how sexy this team is.

0:01:54 > 0:02:00Is so sexy and then it's so sexy over...here.

0:02:00 > 0:02:02Oh, the hotties and the troll.

0:02:02 > 0:02:05Bring out the troll!

0:02:07 > 0:02:10- Rochelle, how are you this week? - Good, thank you, how are you?

0:02:10 > 0:02:13I'm very good. I'm so impressed by how beautiful your face is.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15You know how long I spent in hair and make-up so...

0:02:15 > 0:02:18She has to move here for the series.

0:02:18 > 0:02:20Why are you laughing loud, Marv?

0:02:20 > 0:02:22LAUGHTER

0:02:22 > 0:02:26- He's like, "I wake up next to that bitch."- It's true.

0:02:26 > 0:02:28Marvin, of course, is your actual husband.

0:02:28 > 0:02:33- Melvin, I guess, is your TV husband. - Yes.- Who do you prefer?

0:02:35 > 0:02:38Melvin, you and Marvin, like, you are mates in real life,

0:02:38 > 0:02:39you hang out.

0:02:39 > 0:02:42Is this going to be a distraction or is this going to make

0:02:42 > 0:02:45- the team stronger?- I think it is going to really confuse Rochelle.

0:02:45 > 0:02:46She won't know what to do.

0:02:46 > 0:02:50Two sexy hot guys on this team, she won't know what to do with herself.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52And you went to the stag do, of course, Marvin's stag.

0:02:52 > 0:02:55- No, I didn't go to the stag do. - No...- Yeah, you did.

0:02:55 > 0:02:59He did go to the stag. We've got a photo of you on the stag.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01LAUGHTER

0:03:08 > 0:03:10It looks like a little Cee Lo Green.

0:03:12 > 0:03:16Are you wearing a Cuban heel in that? You look tall.

0:03:16 > 0:03:18Were going to get to know your team-mates.

0:03:18 > 0:03:20Let's say hello to Foxes.

0:03:20 > 0:03:22APPLAUSE

0:03:24 > 0:03:27- Hi, Foxes.- Hello. - You are a bloody successful women.

0:03:27 > 0:03:33- You have won a Grammy. Where is the Grammy now?- It's in the post.- Still?

0:03:33 > 0:03:34I'm not even kidding.

0:03:34 > 0:03:38- Are you sure you've not just lost this?- No, imagine.

0:03:38 > 0:03:41I feel like it will be brilliant if it got the wrong address

0:03:41 > 0:03:44and someone got it and they are opening it and they are just like...

0:03:44 > 0:03:46There's probably no-one else called Foxes, though.

0:03:46 > 0:03:49- It's not going to be confusing. - It would just be like... "I'm going to have it."

0:03:49 > 0:03:51Do you have a new single out?

0:03:51 > 0:03:54- I do. - It's called Holding On To Heaven.

0:03:54 > 0:03:56What is Holding On To Heaven about?

0:03:56 > 0:04:00It's really about the relationship we have with ourselves which...

0:04:00 > 0:04:04- It's deep.- I always do that. I always have a relationship with myself.

0:04:04 > 0:04:05Constantly.

0:04:05 > 0:04:09If I wrote it, it would be called, like, Teary Masturbation.

0:04:10 > 0:04:16- Marvin Humes, welcome to the show. How are you?- I'm great, I'm good.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18Exciting you are doing the telly with us.

0:04:18 > 0:04:21Obviously, I watch the show every week. I'm a big fan, obviously.

0:04:21 > 0:04:24- Thank you, Marvin. - So it's good to be here.

0:04:24 > 0:04:27- Congratulations on The Voice, by the way.- Thank you very much.

0:04:27 > 0:04:31- That was incredible. That was major. There you are.- It's huge.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34How did you find it? Was it scary or easy for you?

0:04:34 > 0:04:38At the beginning, it was scary because it was a big gig

0:04:38 > 0:04:41but I had my TV wife, Emma, alongside me

0:04:41 > 0:04:44and she is a pro so she made it easier for me.

0:04:44 > 0:04:47Do you prefer her a bit to Rochelle?

0:04:47 > 0:04:50- Rochelle likes her as well so it's all good.- I love Emma, I do, I do.

0:04:50 > 0:04:52So I can get away with saying my TV wife, it's cool.

0:04:52 > 0:04:55Do people in the street ever meet you and go,

0:04:55 > 0:04:58"Oh, my God, Marvin. Hi, Rochelle. Marvin!"

0:04:58 > 0:04:59Everyone is generally quite nice

0:04:59 > 0:05:03but you don't have to live with him so that's up to you.

0:05:03 > 0:05:06How'd you think I feel when I go to a Saturdays concert?

0:05:06 > 0:05:09What, and there is, like, gay guys?

0:05:11 > 0:05:16There's no-one alpha male at The Saturdays concert.

0:05:16 > 0:05:20So you are going to be, very soon, the sole breadwinner in your family

0:05:20 > 0:05:22because Saturdays are splitting up.

0:05:22 > 0:05:27- Oh, Grimmy, you want to start something every time!- They are.

0:05:27 > 0:05:31- Greatest hits tour, greatest hits album, see you later.- No, we're not?

0:05:31 > 0:05:33Bye, Vanessa.

0:05:33 > 0:05:37See ya, Deborah whatever you're called.

0:05:37 > 0:05:39Oh, no, Grimmy!

0:05:39 > 0:05:41Bye, Sue.

0:05:41 > 0:05:45Yasmine Akram, welcome to Sweat The Small Stuff.

0:05:45 > 0:05:47CHEERING

0:05:47 > 0:05:49- Hello.- Hello.- How are you? - I'm not too bad.

0:05:49 > 0:05:53It's great to have you here because not only are you a very talented comedian

0:05:53 > 0:05:55- but you're also in Sherlock which...- Yes. CHEERING

0:05:55 > 0:06:00- Yes! Sherlock was huge.- Yes.

0:06:00 > 0:06:03Did you ever sweat over being on such a big show?

0:06:03 > 0:06:04Yes, I did because it was...

0:06:04 > 0:06:08We filmed in April and then we had a big period of time

0:06:08 > 0:06:10before it goes out and then I kind of...

0:06:10 > 0:06:13When I was allowed to tell people I told them but then I got confused

0:06:13 > 0:06:15because I thought I wasn't in it.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17I thought maybe I had made it up and I was only in two scenes

0:06:17 > 0:06:19so then before it came out people were like,

0:06:19 > 0:06:22"Are you excited about Sherlock?" And I was like,

0:06:22 > 0:06:24"You are excited about Sherlock! I don't even care.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26"I'm not even watching it."

0:06:26 > 0:06:31And then when it went out, I was like, "Oh, I am in it. That's good."

0:06:31 > 0:06:34- I'll put it on me CV, then. - Definitely in it.

0:06:34 > 0:06:37- Now, you had to do some kissing with Benedict Cumberbatch.- I did, yeah.

0:06:37 > 0:06:43That is a very extreme close-up. Is he a good kisser?

0:06:43 > 0:06:47- Lovely, yeah, yeah.- Can you show me how to do an on-screen kiss?

0:06:47 > 0:06:50- You want me to do it on you? - Yeah, shall we do it here?

0:06:50 > 0:06:52CHEERING

0:06:56 > 0:06:58So this one is no tongues.

0:06:58 > 0:07:01We're going to do no tongues but you have to pretend that you fancy me.

0:07:01 > 0:07:06- OK. I mean, I'm into it. - OK, so it would be like... I don't know why I've done this.

0:07:06 > 0:07:09- Do I hold the elbows? - Oh, you're really going to do it?

0:07:09 > 0:07:12LAUGHTER AND WHOOPING

0:07:15 > 0:07:17WHISTLING

0:07:26 > 0:07:27WHOOPING

0:07:30 > 0:07:33Yay!

0:07:33 > 0:07:35Grimmy, you're so macho.

0:07:36 > 0:07:39- That was good, wasn't it? - Quite excited about that.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42Melvin was SO jealous.

0:07:42 > 0:07:44LAUGHTER

0:07:44 > 0:07:46I thought for a second you were going to be... Cos you said

0:07:46 > 0:07:49you could kiss someone, I was like, "Call me up, Coach!"

0:07:49 > 0:07:52This is the time!

0:07:52 > 0:07:54Would you like to...

0:07:54 > 0:07:55- I... - CHEERING

0:07:57 > 0:07:59APPLAUSE

0:08:00 > 0:08:03No... I meant her. I didn't mean...

0:08:08 > 0:08:09LAUGHTER

0:08:14 > 0:08:16WHOOPING

0:08:25 > 0:08:27It was so open!

0:08:27 > 0:08:30You can't START open!

0:08:32 > 0:08:35- He started open, Yasmine. - You don't know anything, Bobby...

0:08:35 > 0:08:37And it was open like this...

0:08:37 > 0:08:39LAUGHTER

0:08:39 > 0:08:41I was nervous!

0:08:41 > 0:08:45It was a high-pressure situation, I'm not a porn star!

0:08:45 > 0:08:47LAUGHTER

0:08:48 > 0:08:50OK, let's go on with the show, it is

0:08:50 > 0:08:54the return of The Quiff of Grimmy, everybody!

0:08:54 > 0:08:56WHOOPING AND APPLAUSE

0:08:56 > 0:08:57Here he is...

0:09:01 > 0:09:05This week we hit the streets with a particular sweat that's been troubling Melvin recently -

0:09:05 > 0:09:07what is that, Melvin?

0:09:07 > 0:09:09Erm, when I get a bit frisky with a young female...

0:09:09 > 0:09:10LAUGHTER

0:09:12 > 0:09:15- Oh, my God!- Sorry, go on.

0:09:15 > 0:09:20..basically I don't know whether to throw in any dirty talk or not.

0:09:20 > 0:09:21I don't know what to say.

0:09:21 > 0:09:23And then the things that I DO think about,

0:09:23 > 0:09:25they feel like they're too rude to say, so...

0:09:25 > 0:09:27So what would you...

0:09:27 > 0:09:28Oh, I say some stuff like,

0:09:28 > 0:09:30"I'm going to make you so moist, like a..."

0:09:30 > 0:09:31LAUGHTER

0:09:32 > 0:09:34No, Melvin...

0:09:34 > 0:09:35He's clapping. He loves it.

0:09:35 > 0:09:37Stop.

0:09:37 > 0:09:40Marvin and Rochelle, do you ever talk when you're...

0:09:40 > 0:09:42Oh, my gosh...

0:09:42 > 0:09:44- Move on, then. Erm... - LAUGHTER

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Do you have a safe word?

0:09:47 > 0:09:49- Erm... Yeah.- Do you?!

0:09:49 > 0:09:52A safe word? I don't know what a safe word is, I'm sorry...

0:09:52 > 0:09:55What's a safe word?

0:09:55 > 0:09:58If things go too dark. Or...

0:09:58 > 0:10:00then you have to say...

0:10:00 > 0:10:03yell something out which means we're stopping the sex now.

0:10:03 > 0:10:05Oh, no, I don't have that.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07LAUGHTER

0:10:12 > 0:10:13Oh, no...!

0:10:13 > 0:10:17Well, we're going to put Melvin's sweat to the test.

0:10:17 > 0:10:21We filmed some members of the public, and we genuinely asked them this...

0:10:21 > 0:10:24"Hey - have you ever talked dirty during sex?"

0:10:24 > 0:10:27Melvin's team, you go first. Have a look at this person.

0:10:27 > 0:10:31Hi, I'm Katie, I swear on The Quiff of Grimmy to tell the truth.

0:10:31 > 0:10:34Do you talk dirty during sex?

0:10:34 > 0:10:35LAUGHTER

0:10:37 > 0:10:39She looks like a sex doll.

0:10:40 > 0:10:43YASMINE: She totally does, look at that face.

0:10:43 > 0:10:46I don't know, cos I think she looks quite sweet.

0:10:46 > 0:10:49She's quite angelic, but then the eyes say "goer".

0:10:49 > 0:10:50LAUGHTER

0:10:53 > 0:10:56- So we're going to say yes, do you think yes?- Yeah, totally.

0:10:56 > 0:10:58Let's find out if you're right.

0:10:58 > 0:11:00Oh, God, no! No, never, no.

0:11:02 > 0:11:04She's a nice girl, see? Told ya.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06Next one is for you guys.

0:11:06 > 0:11:10Hi, I'm Jas, and I swear on The Quiff of Grimmy to tell the truth.

0:11:10 > 0:11:12Do you talk dirty during sex?

0:11:12 > 0:11:15LAUGHTER

0:11:15 > 0:11:18Yeah, she's got sex hair.

0:11:18 > 0:11:21My hair always goes red after sex.

0:11:21 > 0:11:23- LAUGHTER - Embarrassed!

0:11:24 > 0:11:27I think she looks familiar, I think I might know her.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30She looks like my kind of lady!

0:11:30 > 0:11:32Shall we say yes? I think we should say yes.

0:11:32 > 0:11:35You're saying yes? They're saying that Jas does...

0:11:35 > 0:11:36Yes.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38What do you say?

0:11:40 > 0:11:42Erm..."harder"

0:11:42 > 0:11:43and "faster".

0:11:43 > 0:11:45LAUGHTER

0:11:47 > 0:11:49- I really hope she says it like that. - PRIM VOICE:- "Harder."

0:11:49 > 0:11:52- LAUGHTER - "And faster! Come on."

0:11:54 > 0:11:55Melvin's team, next one for you.

0:11:55 > 0:11:57My name is Robin Wight,

0:11:57 > 0:12:01and on The Quiff of Grimmy I promise to tell the truth.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04Do you talk dirty during sex?

0:12:05 > 0:12:08- YASMINE: He invented talking dirty. - D'you think?

0:12:08 > 0:12:12Talking dirty originated with that man.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14- So you're saying that Robin invented...- He did.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16I think Robin might have invented sex.

0:12:16 > 0:12:17LAUGHTER

0:12:17 > 0:12:21I think that's like a glimpse into my future.

0:12:21 > 0:12:23If he doesn't talk dirty I'd be surprised.

0:12:23 > 0:12:27- I think yes, guys, what do you think?- OTHERS:- Yes.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29OK. They're saying yes.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31No, but my wife does.

0:12:31 > 0:12:33What does she say?

0:12:33 > 0:12:36She talks about all sorts of fantasies that I can only dream about.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39And it's great.

0:12:39 > 0:12:42Yeah! Robin.

0:12:42 > 0:12:43APPLAUSE

0:12:46 > 0:12:48Rochelle's team, this one's for you.

0:12:48 > 0:12:51Hi, I'm Meg, and I swear on The Quiff of Grimmy to tell the truth.

0:12:51 > 0:12:53Do you talk dirty during sex?

0:12:55 > 0:12:58- Foxes, what do you think? - She's got that Jane Eyre

0:12:58 > 0:13:00essence about her, hasn't she?

0:13:00 > 0:13:03And if she did talk dirty it would be so beautiful.

0:13:03 > 0:13:08- Yeah. Like, you could say it to your mum and dad.- Yeah.

0:13:08 > 0:13:10I love her.

0:13:10 > 0:13:12- Shall we go no?- Yeah.

0:13:12 > 0:13:15OK, they think no. Let's see if you're right.

0:13:15 > 0:13:17Not particularly.

0:13:17 > 0:13:19I prefer to be spoken dirty to!

0:13:19 > 0:13:21LAUGHTER

0:13:21 > 0:13:22What would someone say to you?

0:13:22 > 0:13:26Erm... Compliments are always nice.

0:13:26 > 0:13:28Usually on my arse.

0:13:28 > 0:13:29LAUGHTER

0:13:30 > 0:13:34And, yeah, just be told that I'm a bad girl is pretty great as well.

0:13:35 > 0:13:39So good. I love her!

0:13:39 > 0:13:41I like her...

0:13:42 > 0:13:46- Can I...- No, you can't do anything. Just relax.

0:13:46 > 0:13:48- Can I have the...- No, no, no...

0:13:48 > 0:13:51Just a copy of her tape, that's all.

0:13:51 > 0:13:53LAUGHTER

0:13:53 > 0:13:55Melvin's team, next one for you.

0:13:55 > 0:13:58My name's Carl, and I swear on The Quiff of Grimmy to tell the truth.

0:13:58 > 0:14:01Do you talk dirty during sex?

0:14:01 > 0:14:04100% yes! Definitely.

0:14:04 > 0:14:05I know that guy!

0:14:05 > 0:14:07LAUGHTER

0:14:07 > 0:14:10- How do you know him? - He's my brother! Only joking.

0:14:10 > 0:14:12Let's find out.

0:14:12 > 0:14:13Hell, yeah. LAUGHTER

0:14:13 > 0:14:15What do you say?

0:14:15 > 0:14:16Erm...

0:14:18 > 0:14:20Do you like it?

0:14:21 > 0:14:23HE SNORTS

0:14:23 > 0:14:26LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:14:26 > 0:14:27Dirty laugh, man.

0:14:27 > 0:14:30- A dirty laugh, isn't it? - That's absolutely ruined it now.

0:14:30 > 0:14:32That's part of it. "Do you like it?"

0:14:32 > 0:14:34HE SNORTS

0:14:34 > 0:14:37Thank you to the people of Great Britain for playing

0:14:37 > 0:14:39On the Quiff of Grimmy!

0:14:39 > 0:14:42APPLAUSE

0:14:46 > 0:14:49We saw photos in the paper of you

0:14:49 > 0:14:51- on JB's stag-do.- Yes.

0:14:51 > 0:14:53Wahey, lads!

0:14:53 > 0:14:56- How was it?- It was amazing.

0:14:56 > 0:14:59We saw you all hanging out by the pool with your JLS pals.

0:14:59 > 0:15:01- Yes.- Was it nice to see them?

0:15:01 > 0:15:03It was really good.

0:15:03 > 0:15:05We finished on December 22nd last year

0:15:05 > 0:15:08so it was the first time the four of us were together socially...

0:15:08 > 0:15:10Is it true that Aston now makes a living

0:15:10 > 0:15:13by selling flowers at traffic lights?

0:15:13 > 0:15:15LAUGHTER

0:15:15 > 0:15:17I'm only joking!

0:15:17 > 0:15:19He's doing all right. He's working on his music.

0:15:19 > 0:15:22I saw him the other day. He delivered my Ocado.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24LAUGHTER

0:15:24 > 0:15:26That is so crass!

0:15:28 > 0:15:32Time now for Rochelle and Melvin at The Challenges.

0:15:32 > 0:15:33This is where each week

0:15:33 > 0:15:35I challenge our team captains

0:15:35 > 0:15:38to take a small sweat out into the streets and into the public spaces.

0:15:38 > 0:15:42This week's sweat is about patience,

0:15:42 > 0:15:45but this week is a little different, wasn't it, Melvin?

0:15:45 > 0:15:48- Yes.- Yes. Wasn't it, Rochelle?

0:15:48 > 0:15:50- Yeah.- Because this week,

0:15:50 > 0:15:54Rochelle and Melvin were the ones having the trick played on them.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56So I sent them off to film a fake challenge.

0:15:56 > 0:15:59When they got to the filming location they were told to ask

0:15:59 > 0:16:01for Tommy, the director,

0:16:01 > 0:16:04and wait in reception, and then we just watched,

0:16:04 > 0:16:07to find out who would wait for the longest.

0:16:07 > 0:16:10Marvin, how do you think Rochelle will do in a challenge

0:16:10 > 0:16:11about patience?

0:16:11 > 0:16:14She's got zero patience.

0:16:14 > 0:16:16Let's find out who won - probably Melvin -

0:16:16 > 0:16:19in Rochelle and Melvin - The Challenges.

0:16:22 > 0:16:26- Can I take your name, please? - Melvin O'Doom.

0:16:26 > 0:16:28- Hi.- Can I take your name?

0:16:28 > 0:16:31Yeah, it's Rochelle.

0:16:31 > 0:16:33Take a seat, I'll let him know.

0:16:33 > 0:16:35- Is it here to see Tommy?- Yeah.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39As Rochelle and Melvin's

0:16:39 > 0:16:40waiting begins,

0:16:40 > 0:16:43I have lined up the world's most annoying receptionist

0:16:43 > 0:16:45- to keep them company.- Hello.

0:16:45 > 0:16:47Right. I'm at work.

0:16:47 > 0:16:50I've got one of Little Mix in reception.

0:16:50 > 0:16:53LAUGHTER

0:17:00 > 0:17:0318 minutes in now.

0:17:03 > 0:17:06Does Tom know if I'm here yet?

0:17:06 > 0:17:09Sorry, I forgot to let him know. Hang on, I'll do it now.

0:17:10 > 0:17:12He didn't know before?

0:17:12 > 0:17:15No, sorry, I forgot to tell him! I'll tell him.

0:17:21 > 0:17:23Do you have the masseur for about 5:30?

0:17:23 > 0:17:25Yes, can you tell her that.

0:17:25 > 0:17:27I don't know what I'm doing, I'm sat here. OK.

0:17:32 > 0:17:3626 minutes in and Rochelle begins to crack.

0:17:36 > 0:17:38I'm not in Little Mix by the way.

0:17:38 > 0:17:40- Oh, God, sorry!- That's all right. I'm in a group.

0:17:40 > 0:17:43- I'm in The Saturdays, but I'm not in Little Mix.- Oh, my God.

0:17:43 > 0:17:46I bought tickets to see you. Like, a few years ago. Right.

0:17:46 > 0:17:50- Down in Brighton.- Oh lovely, yes. - Then it got cancelled in the end.

0:17:50 > 0:17:53- What got cancelled?- The concert.

0:17:53 > 0:17:56- No.- They give you a refund, though.

0:17:56 > 0:17:59- What's that?- When it gets cancelled, they give you a refund.- Oh, yeah.

0:17:59 > 0:18:00They give you the money back and everything.

0:18:00 > 0:18:03- It's all well organised and everything.- Yeah.

0:18:03 > 0:18:07But not like on trains like, and time of work...

0:18:14 > 0:18:16LAUGHTER

0:18:23 > 0:18:2549 minutes in and I tell the receptionist to

0:18:25 > 0:18:28move their friendship up a notch.

0:18:28 > 0:18:29- Are you on Twitter?- Yeah.

0:18:29 > 0:18:32- What's like your, like, handle? - #RochelleTheSats.

0:18:32 > 0:18:36- Will you follow me back if I follow you?- What, are you doing it now?

0:18:36 > 0:18:39Yeah. If I follow you, will you follow me back?

0:18:40 > 0:18:42LAUGHTER

0:18:52 > 0:18:56They've now been waiting an hour and two minutes.

0:18:56 > 0:18:58Just sat there for an hour.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00Can I just get a photo with you?

0:19:00 > 0:19:03Could I have a selfie with you?

0:19:03 > 0:19:06Yeah, is that all right?

0:19:10 > 0:19:12LAUGHTER

0:19:12 > 0:19:14Ah. Brilliant. Thank you so much.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20Hi, have you got your phone?

0:19:20 > 0:19:24I'm sending you a photo of me with Rochelle from The Saturdays.

0:19:24 > 0:19:28I know! You can save it as your photo on your phone!

0:19:31 > 0:19:34Melvin's about to get a little surprise.

0:19:34 > 0:19:36- You know that selfie we took.- Yeah.

0:19:36 > 0:19:41- I just sent it to my sister and she knows you.- What's your sister's name?

0:19:41 > 0:19:43- Jess. I'll call her.- Do you have a picture?

0:19:43 > 0:19:48She looks like me but she's a brunette.

0:19:48 > 0:19:50Oh, my God. What and then nothing?

0:19:50 > 0:19:54She wasn't very happy to receive your picture. Put it that way.

0:19:54 > 0:19:58- She said you went on a date with her.- Erm...

0:19:58 > 0:20:02- She just said that like I didn't call her or something?- Mmm.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05I just don't think you should treat women like that.

0:20:05 > 0:20:07Erm...

0:20:07 > 0:20:09I don't think I want to talk about it any more.

0:20:09 > 0:20:12Uh-oh, Melvin!

0:20:18 > 0:20:21- I'm just going to go next door and have something to eat.- OK.

0:20:21 > 0:20:24- He's got my number just ask him to call me.- OK, I'll let him know.

0:20:24 > 0:20:25- Is that all right?- Yeah.- Thank you.

0:20:28 > 0:20:29And Melvin is out of there.

0:20:29 > 0:20:32If you and Melvin had a competition to see who was more

0:20:32 > 0:20:35patient between you and him. Who do you think would win?

0:20:35 > 0:20:42- Him, I'd say.- You're definitely more patient.- Really? - This whole thing has been a setup.

0:20:42 > 0:20:46Oh!

0:20:46 > 0:20:48SHE SQUEALS

0:20:48 > 0:20:50It's so horrible!

0:20:50 > 0:20:52Ah, soz, guys!

0:20:57 > 0:20:59So the point goes to Rochelle's team.

0:20:59 > 0:21:03CHEERING

0:21:03 > 0:21:08- Foxes, why have you been sweating about blinking?- Oh, no!

0:21:08 > 0:21:11Blinking. It sounds really bad.

0:21:11 > 0:21:15But if you think about the fact that we have to blink on a day-to-day basis.

0:21:15 > 0:21:18- Now I'm aware of it. - See, this is what happens.

0:21:18 > 0:21:22You start getting aware of it and you're like, "I'm blinking."

0:21:22 > 0:21:25- I'm doing another blink. - I know what you mean.

0:21:25 > 0:21:27I get the same thing with breathing. I feel like I breathe too heavy.

0:21:27 > 0:21:31- I have that. I don't breathe.- We are in bed.

0:21:31 > 0:21:35I can hear him breathing and I am like, "We're not going the same."

0:21:35 > 0:21:37LAUGHTER

0:21:37 > 0:21:41Blinking, walking, breathing and yawning.

0:21:41 > 0:21:46If you think about walking, you lose the ability to walk? That's amazing!

0:21:46 > 0:21:50You may be my favourite person that has ever been on this show!

0:21:50 > 0:21:54OK, it is time for Love Court.

0:21:55 > 0:21:58This is the round where we help couples with a petty partner

0:21:58 > 0:22:02problem and it is the teams' job to defend the side that I give them.

0:22:02 > 0:22:05It is time for you to start addressing me as Judge Grimmy,

0:22:05 > 0:22:08as I pop this on. This is my little judgey, capey thing.

0:22:08 > 0:22:12I have got this wig. It has got a quiff on it, look.

0:22:12 > 0:22:14LAUGHTER

0:22:15 > 0:22:20Time now to meet our extra special case.

0:22:20 > 0:22:24Please welcome Rochelle and Marvin to the dock, everybody.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26APPLAUSE

0:22:33 > 0:22:38Can we have your full names stated to the court, please?

0:22:38 > 0:22:41- Rochelle Humes.- That is not your full name.- Don't do that!

0:22:41 > 0:22:44- It is going to be a good one. - Don't be nasty.

0:22:44 > 0:22:48It's definitely not your full name.

0:22:48 > 0:22:51- I married you, I know your full name.- I don't want to say it.

0:22:51 > 0:22:53- Full name.- You say it then.

0:22:53 > 0:22:57Rochelle Eulah Eileen Humes.

0:22:58 > 0:23:02- Eulah Eileen?- Before you say anything, it is her grandparents.

0:23:02 > 0:23:04So don't cuss.

0:23:04 > 0:23:07They are beautiful names, a point for your team, Rochelle.

0:23:09 > 0:23:12- Marvin, full name. - Marvin Humes.- No!

0:23:12 > 0:23:14LAUGHTER

0:23:14 > 0:23:17- Marvin Richard James Humes.- There we go, full names. You are both...

0:23:17 > 0:23:18APPLAUSE

0:23:18 > 0:23:22Don't clap that! She knows her husband's middle name!

0:23:24 > 0:23:28You are both now under oath.

0:23:28 > 0:23:32Why are we in the dock today, Rochelle and Marvin?

0:23:32 > 0:23:35OK, I work most evenings.

0:23:35 > 0:23:39My wife is at home and there are TV shows that come on

0:23:39 > 0:23:41and I call her up and say, "Babe, Match Of The Day, Chelsea

0:23:41 > 0:23:43"played tonight and I missed the game.

0:23:43 > 0:23:46"Record it and I'll watch it when I get in from work."

0:23:46 > 0:23:51- I get home from work, it has not been recorded.- Disrespect.

0:23:51 > 0:23:52Not been recorded.

0:23:52 > 0:23:54I go on the planner

0:23:54 > 0:23:58and she has taped Kardashians instead of Match Of The Day.

0:23:58 > 0:24:01He wants to watch Chelsea, whoever she is.

0:24:01 > 0:24:03LAUGHTER

0:24:03 > 0:24:05Let's kick off with Marvin's team.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07You are leading Rochelle's prosecution.

0:24:07 > 0:24:10Can you cross-examine the couple now?

0:24:10 > 0:24:15- Rochelle, is this just plain getting back at Marvin?- No.

0:24:15 > 0:24:21- Here's the joke, I do do it but I haven't recorded it in HD.- Yes.

0:24:21 > 0:24:26I just don't see the difference between normal and HD.

0:24:26 > 0:24:28One is HD and one is not.

0:24:28 > 0:24:33- Can I ask you a question? Does he ever miss out on your shows?- Never.

0:24:33 > 0:24:37- That isn't true.- I get her to tape Sweat The Small Stuff.

0:24:37 > 0:24:40- Rochelle, don't you tape this? - Don't you watch the show?

0:24:40 > 0:24:43Yes, I do, but I watch it live, I don't need to tape it.

0:24:43 > 0:24:45But it is live.

0:24:45 > 0:24:47LAUGHTER

0:24:47 > 0:24:50Objection.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52Rochelle's team, you are Rochelle's defence.

0:24:52 > 0:24:57Any questions to the couple in the court tonight? On Tuesday.

0:24:57 > 0:24:59LAUGHTER

0:24:59 > 0:25:02I actually feel like, if this is your problem, which is

0:25:02 > 0:25:06a tiny, tiny situation, you've got the best marriage ever.

0:25:06 > 0:25:09Aw, Foxes!

0:25:09 > 0:25:11HE RETCHES

0:25:11 > 0:25:14How many times has she not recorded?

0:25:14 > 0:25:19- This is a regular occurrence.- It's not!- This is at least twice a week.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21Oh, my... You're just...

0:25:21 > 0:25:24Well, maybe you need to stop avoiding the problems in your

0:25:24 > 0:25:28marriage with television and start paying your wife

0:25:28 > 0:25:30- some actual attention.- Yeah!

0:25:30 > 0:25:33Maybe you just like to escape and haven't really felt the love

0:25:33 > 0:25:35since the baby came.

0:25:35 > 0:25:37LAUGHTER

0:25:37 > 0:25:41Maybe you want a divorce and don't know how to say it.

0:25:41 > 0:25:44LAUGHTER

0:25:44 > 0:25:45Your time is up.

0:25:45 > 0:25:48Members of the jury, you have heard from both sides.

0:25:48 > 0:25:52Have our jury reached a verdict? Whose side are you on?

0:25:52 > 0:25:56- Is Rochelle guilty, or not guilty? - I'm not guilty!

0:25:56 > 0:25:58Rochelle, you have been found guilty!

0:25:58 > 0:26:01CHEERING

0:26:01 > 0:26:04Of the heinous crime of forgetting to record Marvin's programmes,

0:26:04 > 0:26:08and I sentence you to let Marvin have control of what is on telly...

0:26:08 > 0:26:10- Yes!- ..for six months.

0:26:10 > 0:26:11What?!

0:26:11 > 0:26:13Thank you. Michelle and Marvin, everybody!

0:26:13 > 0:26:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:19 > 0:26:22And that was the final round. Thank you, teams.

0:26:23 > 0:26:27And before... Before we go, can we try something out?

0:26:27 > 0:26:31Marvin, you come over here with me, and Melvin. Come on. Come over here.

0:26:31 > 0:26:33You stand here. You stand there. You stand there.

0:26:33 > 0:26:37I just want to try something out. Marvin, if you could put this on...

0:26:37 > 0:26:38LAUGHTER

0:26:38 > 0:26:42And, Melvin, if you could... put this on.

0:26:42 > 0:26:45LAUGHTER

0:26:48 > 0:26:52And then...if you could put... these on.

0:26:52 > 0:26:55I just want to... Let's see that picture again.

0:26:55 > 0:26:58See?

0:26:58 > 0:27:00APPLAUSE

0:27:00 > 0:27:02I knew it was you!

0:27:07 > 0:27:09I knew it was you!

0:27:10 > 0:27:13Right, all come and join me up here.

0:27:13 > 0:27:16It's the end of the show, which means it is time for me

0:27:16 > 0:27:21to announce who the winner is of Sweat The Small Stuff tonight.

0:27:21 > 0:27:25It's very tense in here. Foxes is a nervous wreck. She's so nervous.

0:27:27 > 0:27:32Ladies and gentlemen, I can exclusively reveal...

0:27:32 > 0:27:36that the winners of tonight's show are...

0:27:38 > 0:27:39It is bloody Melvin's team.

0:27:39 > 0:27:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:27:43 > 0:27:46Congratulations. A big thank you

0:27:46 > 0:27:50to Yasmine, Rochelle, Foxes, Marvin, Melvin and Bobby.

0:27:50 > 0:27:51This has been Sweat The Small Stuff.

0:27:51 > 0:27:55I've been Nick Grimshaw. You've been beautiful. Good night. Bye.

0:27:55 > 0:27:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE