Episode 6

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains some strong language

0:00:23 > 0:00:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:26 > 0:00:28Hello! Hi! Hello, everyone.

0:00:28 > 0:00:31I'm Nick Grimshaw. Welcome to Sweat The Small Stuff,

0:00:31 > 0:00:35the panel show all about those little annoyances in life,

0:00:35 > 0:00:38because life's little annoyances really are worth sweating over,

0:00:38 > 0:00:41so that's what we're going to do. This week,

0:00:41 > 0:00:46I have been sweating about people hating on my bish, Miley Cyrus.

0:00:46 > 0:00:49Everyone's been so anti-Miley Cyrus this week.

0:00:49 > 0:00:51Here she is in one of her stage outfits

0:00:51 > 0:00:53that everyone went crazy about.

0:00:53 > 0:00:55Look. There she is.

0:00:55 > 0:00:56I mean, that is a yeast infection

0:00:56 > 0:00:57waiting to happen.

0:00:57 > 0:00:59GROANING AND LAUGHTER

0:00:59 > 0:01:02But who needs a purse? I mean, that's quite...

0:01:02 > 0:01:04handy to keep all your notes on you.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07I can only guess where she keeps all her loose change.

0:01:07 > 0:01:09In a massive fanny...pack.

0:01:09 > 0:01:13Fanny pack. It's what Americans call bum bags.

0:01:13 > 0:01:14Dirty minds.

0:01:14 > 0:01:18She did amazingly, though, considering she's just got out of

0:01:18 > 0:01:20hospital. She has been very poorly.

0:01:20 > 0:01:23Apparently, she was being treated for a serious condition inherited from her dad -

0:01:23 > 0:01:24an achy breaky heart.

0:01:26 > 0:01:29- Oh...- That is...- Oh, come on, Rita Ora!

0:01:29 > 0:01:31# My achy breaky heart... #

0:01:31 > 0:01:35- That's right. - HE MUMBLES:- # I just don't... #

0:01:35 > 0:01:37Right, we're going to get on with the show and meet the teams.

0:01:37 > 0:01:40First up, we have the gorgeous Rochelle Humes, everybody!

0:01:40 > 0:01:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:44 > 0:01:47I have comedian Romesh Ranganathan!

0:01:47 > 0:01:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:50 > 0:01:52Also, it's Example!

0:01:52 > 0:01:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:58 > 0:02:03And next, we have my pocket-sized pal, Melvin Odoom, everybody.

0:02:03 > 0:02:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:02:06 > 0:02:08On my team, we have finally got Elis James!

0:02:08 > 0:02:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:02:11 > 0:02:12And I have global superstar -

0:02:12 > 0:02:15can't believe she's sat next to me right now -

0:02:15 > 0:02:16give it up for Rita Ora!

0:02:16 > 0:02:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:02:19 > 0:02:22Right, we're going to start by finding out our team captains.

0:02:22 > 0:02:24Our beautiful Rochelle.

0:02:24 > 0:02:26It was nice to see you performing at Eurovision. I loved that.

0:02:26 > 0:02:27You looked amazing.

0:02:27 > 0:02:31LAUGHTER

0:02:31 > 0:02:34APPLAUSE

0:02:34 > 0:02:36I love you!

0:02:38 > 0:02:41- Melvin Odoom, how are you? - I'm fine, thank you.

0:02:41 > 0:02:43- Have you had a nice week? - Yes, it's been all right.

0:02:43 > 0:02:46Now, Rita, I want you to know that in this series,

0:02:46 > 0:02:49- Melvin can be quite grabby. - That's all right.

0:02:49 > 0:02:51I wanted you to know that I've taken precautions,

0:02:51 > 0:02:54so I've gone to the trouble of finding this...

0:02:54 > 0:02:56The net, right?

0:02:56 > 0:03:00- And he does fit in that as well, doesn't he?- Yeah, big time.

0:03:01 > 0:03:05This is how we carry him home at the end...

0:03:05 > 0:03:07Tip him out like that.

0:03:07 > 0:03:08But if you give me the nod -

0:03:08 > 0:03:11at any point, if it's getting too much, you just give me a nod,

0:03:11 > 0:03:13and I'll net him...

0:03:14 > 0:03:16- And you can run to Example, or Romesh.- And the arms.

0:03:16 > 0:03:21- The danger's been neutralised. - Keep him like that for now, I think.

0:03:21 > 0:03:23- OK.- Yeah, yeah. I think he's all right.

0:03:24 > 0:03:27It's times like this I really miss Chris Moyles.

0:03:28 > 0:03:30I mean, he was a broadcaster.

0:03:33 > 0:03:35OK, let's get to know your team-mates this week.

0:03:35 > 0:03:39Global megastar Rita Ora is in the place, everybody!

0:03:39 > 0:03:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:03:45 > 0:03:47APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

0:03:47 > 0:03:49- How are you? - That was such a nice introduction.

0:03:49 > 0:03:53You're a global megastar, which means you're famous in America.

0:03:53 > 0:03:55You're signed to Jay-Z's record label.

0:03:55 > 0:03:57You have had three consecutive number ones.

0:03:57 > 0:04:00You had a debut album that's gone to number one.

0:04:00 > 0:04:03Do you ever go for your tea at Jay-Z's house, with Beyonce?

0:04:03 > 0:04:06Yeah, I guess so, yeah. I mean, what do you do with your friends?

0:04:06 > 0:04:08- Would you go for tea? - Yeah, I do go for tea.- Yeah.

0:04:10 > 0:04:14Many moons ago, when we first met, you came into Radio 1,

0:04:14 > 0:04:16- and we made a deal, right?- Yeah.

0:04:16 > 0:04:20You said, "If you introduce me to Kate Moss,

0:04:20 > 0:04:23"I will introduce you to Jay-Z."

0:04:23 > 0:04:24- OK, OK...- Eh-eh!

0:04:24 > 0:04:27Eh-eh! Are you friends with Kate Moss now?

0:04:27 > 0:04:28Yeah.

0:04:28 > 0:04:32- OK.- Well, I don't know. - OK, have I had my tea with Jay-Z?

0:04:32 > 0:04:34Have I fuck!

0:04:34 > 0:04:35Listen, if you...

0:04:35 > 0:04:38If you weren't doing a morning show every single day

0:04:38 > 0:04:42and had a life, a social life, then you could have come to America

0:04:42 > 0:04:44with me, because I can't bring him to your radio station.

0:04:44 > 0:04:48Now, you've got a new song out called I Will Never Let You Down.

0:04:48 > 0:04:51LAUGHTER

0:04:54 > 0:04:57- There it is. That is what it looks like.- He's doing a...

0:04:57 > 0:05:01I Will Never Let You Down - brackets - Probably Will.

0:05:01 > 0:05:03Sorry! Sorry!

0:05:03 > 0:05:06Example, welcome back to Sweat The Small Stuff!

0:05:06 > 0:05:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:05:08 > 0:05:12- Again.- Again! It's good to have you back.- Thanks, man.

0:05:12 > 0:05:13We liked you on last time.

0:05:13 > 0:05:17And I read, Example, that you're going on a 100-date world tour.

0:05:17 > 0:05:22It's just non-stop gigs. It's not that I'm on a private jet. It's not that kind of tour.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24- Not like...- Nah, not like Rita.

0:05:25 > 0:05:27You've got a new album out.

0:05:27 > 0:05:29Album five is out in June.

0:05:29 > 0:05:30Album five!

0:05:30 > 0:05:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:05:32 > 0:05:34And the album's called Live Life Living.

0:05:34 > 0:05:36We have a picture of it here.

0:05:36 > 0:05:39I was in the pool for about an hour and we took about 100 shots

0:05:39 > 0:05:40to try to get it, because

0:05:40 > 0:05:43every time you got up to float, you start sinking down,

0:05:43 > 0:05:47so nearly every photo we got, I'm spitting water out...

0:05:49 > 0:05:53Now, Example, I don't like to drag this up and drag up the past,

0:05:53 > 0:05:56but we do need to talk about... There's a bit of an elephant

0:05:56 > 0:05:58in the room. Last time you came on the show, you talked about

0:05:58 > 0:06:00the fact that you and Rochelle...

0:06:00 > 0:06:03Maybe you'd tweeted something, there was bad blood...

0:06:03 > 0:06:06Was there someone in the Saturdays who really didn't like me?

0:06:06 > 0:06:07Me.

0:06:07 > 0:06:09LAUGHTER

0:06:09 > 0:06:11- Basically, he slagged them off on Twitter.- Yeah.

0:06:11 > 0:06:15- I said something about their songs sounding...- Like a dog shit salad.

0:06:15 > 0:06:16Yeah.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18GROANING AND LAUGHTER

0:06:18 > 0:06:22Let's not dwell on the past. Leave this behind.

0:06:22 > 0:06:25Elis James, welcome to Sweat The Small Stuff!

0:06:25 > 0:06:27CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:06:27 > 0:06:29Hello. How are you?

0:06:29 > 0:06:31Very good.

0:06:31 > 0:06:35- You do a morning radio show, on XFM.- Yes.- And XFM play...

0:06:35 > 0:06:39They're obsessed with, you know, male guitar bands.

0:06:39 > 0:06:42Why is it that you hate Rita Ora and everything that she stands for?

0:06:42 > 0:06:44No, she's very nice.

0:06:45 > 0:06:47Now, this is a weird sentence,

0:06:47 > 0:06:50- but you were once mistaken for Harry Styles's girlfriend.- Yeah.

0:06:51 > 0:06:54- How and why?- Because...

0:06:54 > 0:06:58My name is Elis James, and he was spotted on a date with a girl

0:06:58 > 0:06:59whose name is very similar to mine.

0:06:59 > 0:07:03She was called Ellie James - E-L-I, I'm E-L-I-S...

0:07:03 > 0:07:07So Heat magazine papped the couple, they broke the story online,

0:07:07 > 0:07:10it became this sort of internet viral phenomena overnight,

0:07:10 > 0:07:13so then when I woke up the next morning

0:07:13 > 0:07:19and checked my Twitter, I was subjected to a barrage of abuse!

0:07:19 > 0:07:26"You broke my heart last night," and I was like, "What? I just...

0:07:26 > 0:07:29"I just had a risotto, what are you talking about?"

0:07:29 > 0:07:32The second was like, "Are you going to look beautiful on your wedding day?"

0:07:32 > 0:07:35I was like, "I'll have a shave and a haircut."

0:07:35 > 0:07:38So I said on Twitter, for a bit of fun, I said,

0:07:38 > 0:07:43"I'd like to announce that Harry Styles and I are very much in love."

0:07:44 > 0:07:48"Newsflash - I can confirm that he makes love in more than

0:07:48 > 0:07:50"ONE DIRECTION."

0:07:53 > 0:07:56Yeah. APPLAUSE

0:07:56 > 0:08:00And Romesh Ranganathan, welcome to Sweat The Small Stuff!

0:08:00 > 0:08:02CHEERING

0:08:04 > 0:08:06Now, you are a regular on Channel 4's

0:08:06 > 0:08:09Stand Up For The Week, where you do something topical that happened that week.

0:08:09 > 0:08:14- Yeah. - Anything you've been sweating over that's slightly topical this week?

0:08:14 > 0:08:16I'm pissed off about the big issue that

0:08:16 > 0:08:19people are making about chicken, halal chicken.

0:08:19 > 0:08:23- Yes.- People get pissed off about, "Oh, I'm worried about the animals

0:08:23 > 0:08:26"being killed in a certain way." Just get upset about the fact...

0:08:26 > 0:08:29If you are eating meat, you can't complain about how it was killed.

0:08:29 > 0:08:33The cheeseburger is the ultimate fuck you to the cow. Isn't it?

0:08:33 > 0:08:39"We're going to take milk from your teat, ferment it into cheese,

0:08:39 > 0:08:42"and then we're going to use that to flavour your own body.

0:08:42 > 0:08:46"We'll probably wash it down with a milkshake," you're taking the piss!

0:08:49 > 0:08:52OK, let's get on with the show and it's time for the round where we

0:08:52 > 0:08:54go out and about to meet the great British public.

0:08:54 > 0:08:57Please welcome, The Quiff of Grimmy.

0:08:57 > 0:09:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:09:04 > 0:09:07- That's amazing.- It's good, right?

0:09:07 > 0:09:10- Really good. DJ Fresh?- Yes, big up.

0:09:10 > 0:09:13This week we hit the streets with a particular sweat

0:09:13 > 0:09:17that's been troubling Melvin recently. What is that sweat, Melvin?

0:09:17 > 0:09:20- I was about to make sweet love to this young lady...- Ahhh!

0:09:20 > 0:09:22Me and Rochelle don't like sweet love.

0:09:22 > 0:09:25OK. OK, so I was about to do this young lady.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29That's what I'm talking about, yeah!

0:09:29 > 0:09:32- And she asked me to dress up like a fireman.- What?

0:09:32 > 0:09:35I thought it was quite weird, so I didn't do it, but should I have done it?

0:09:35 > 0:09:37So you've been sweating about,

0:09:37 > 0:09:39"Should I have dressed up as a fireman?"

0:09:39 > 0:09:43Yeah, because it's quite expensive to hire out the suit, firstly...

0:09:43 > 0:09:45How long are you going to have it on for?

0:09:45 > 0:09:49Exactly, you can't find them easily, you can't go to, like, the petrol station.

0:09:49 > 0:09:53You could just go to a kids' shop and get one of those fancy dresses.

0:09:53 > 0:09:55Early Learning Centre.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58- Rita, have you ever done role-play? - I mean, this is what I always think.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01When you have a partner, and you are with that partner,

0:10:01 > 0:10:03- you've got to do what they want to satisfy that partner.- OK.

0:10:03 > 0:10:07- And they should do the same to you. - Melvin, calm down.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09- She's a good woman! - I mean, you just...

0:10:10 > 0:10:13We're going to put Melvin's sweat to the test,

0:10:13 > 0:10:15- we want to get to the bottom of this.- Yeah.

0:10:15 > 0:10:19This week we went out and asked people, genuinely, in the street, a very casual question -

0:10:19 > 0:10:22"Hey, have you ever tried role-play during sex?"

0:10:22 > 0:10:25- Melvin's team, you get to go first. - OK.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27My name is Jefferson

0:10:27 > 0:10:29and I swear on The Quiff of Grimmy to tell the truth.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32Have you ever tried role-play during sex?

0:10:32 > 0:10:34HE GIGGLES

0:10:35 > 0:10:39- Yeah, he is the definition of sex. - You reckon, yeah?

0:10:39 > 0:10:41You open up a dictionary and he's there, literally.

0:10:41 > 0:10:46- The shirt undone, the moustache... - RITA: Yeah, yeah.

0:10:46 > 0:10:49I think he'd done it about five minutes before that clip was filming.

0:10:49 > 0:10:52It was the laugh, like, "Hah! Course!"

0:10:52 > 0:10:54"Hah! I only do role-play.

0:10:54 > 0:10:57"For I am a man."

0:10:57 > 0:10:58Let's see if you are right.

0:10:58 > 0:11:01- Yes.- What was it?

0:11:01 > 0:11:02HE LAUGHS

0:11:02 > 0:11:06The most recent one was a straight beach boy.

0:11:06 > 0:11:08LAUGHTER

0:11:09 > 0:11:13Straight beach boy. He pretended to be a straight beach boy.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16If he's ever convincingly played a straight person,

0:11:16 > 0:11:17he should have won an Oscar.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20Rochelle's team, this next one's for you.

0:11:20 > 0:11:22Hi, my name is Sarah

0:11:22 > 0:11:25and I swear on The Quiff of Grimmy to tell the truth.

0:11:25 > 0:11:28Have you ever tried role-play during sex?

0:11:28 > 0:11:31LAUGHTER

0:11:31 > 0:11:32- For sure.- You think, yeah?- Filthy.

0:11:32 > 0:11:34- She looks a little bit like "busted."- For sure.

0:11:34 > 0:11:37- She looked up to the right. - She definitely did, didn't she?

0:11:37 > 0:11:39Like, "Oops, do they know?"

0:11:39 > 0:11:42- She looked like she was just enjoying it in her head there.- Yeah.

0:11:42 > 0:11:45- Oh, yeah!- So you're going yes?

0:11:45 > 0:11:48- Yes.- They say yes straightaway.

0:11:48 > 0:11:50Yeah! SHE LAUGHS

0:11:50 > 0:11:52What was it?

0:11:52 > 0:11:55Um... Nurse/doctor, I think.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59Um... Cartoon characters sometimes.

0:12:01 > 0:12:02Cartoon characters.

0:12:02 > 0:12:04- What cartoon character? - Cartoon characters.

0:12:04 > 0:12:08Next time that girl asks you to dress up, you should be a cartoon character.

0:12:08 > 0:12:09Rastamouse.

0:12:12 > 0:12:13She'll be well up for it.

0:12:13 > 0:12:16APPLAUSE

0:12:16 > 0:12:19Melvin's team, this next one is for you guys.

0:12:19 > 0:12:23Hi, my name's Max and I swear on The Quiff of Grimmy to tell the truth.

0:12:23 > 0:12:25Have you ever tried role-play during sex?

0:12:28 > 0:12:31- He's serious. He is serious.- Melvin.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34I think his role-play involves computers and dragons.

0:12:34 > 0:12:35Do you reckon?

0:12:35 > 0:12:38- He goes deep with it.- You reckon?

0:12:38 > 0:12:41I think he looks quite normal, though, I think he could be...

0:12:41 > 0:12:45- I don't think he looks a confident enough actor.- Yes.

0:12:45 > 0:12:50I think he'd be like, "Hello! I'm...here...to...mend...your...

0:12:50 > 0:12:51"washing machine.

0:12:51 > 0:12:54"I like your nightie."

0:12:55 > 0:12:57"I've got a hard-on now."

0:12:59 > 0:13:02Do you reckon he does the role-play in sexy time, though?

0:13:02 > 0:13:05- All right, we'll say no. - They're saying no.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07- Yes.- What was it?

0:13:07 > 0:13:09Lord Of The Rings.

0:13:09 > 0:13:12- AUDIENCE SQUEALS - Yes!

0:13:17 > 0:13:20Lord Of The Rings.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22RITA: Goblin? Definitely goblin.

0:13:22 > 0:13:23Who was lord of whose ring?

0:13:23 > 0:13:25Oh, yeah.

0:13:25 > 0:13:28- What would you be in The Lord Of The Rings? That little...- Gollum.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Gollum.

0:13:30 > 0:13:32Oh, my God, I'm so horny for Gollum.

0:13:34 > 0:13:37He'd just grab the knob and be like, "My precious!"

0:13:37 > 0:13:40It'd be weird though, cos he's bipolar, innit?

0:13:40 > 0:13:43- Yeah, one minute he'd be up for it...- He's got these two people and it's like,

0:13:43 > 0:13:46"Master wants the cocks, doesn't he?"

0:13:46 > 0:13:50And he would just be like switching it up and then he goes, like, evil

0:13:50 > 0:13:53and then nice, and then he's like doing you from behind, and then...

0:13:53 > 0:13:56After he's finished having sex with you,

0:13:56 > 0:13:58an eagle just comes in and takes him off.

0:14:00 > 0:14:02Thank you to the people of Great Britain for

0:14:02 > 0:14:03playing On The Quiff of Grimmy!

0:14:03 > 0:14:05Bye, quiff.

0:14:05 > 0:14:07APPLAUSE

0:14:11 > 0:14:14Rita, not only a huge pop star, you are now being an actress.

0:14:14 > 0:14:16- You're going to be in 50 Shades Of Grey.- Oh, yes...yeah.

0:14:16 > 0:14:19- That's really big, isn't it? - AUDIENCE WHOOP

0:14:19 > 0:14:22How was it to film this, cos this is going to be a huge film!

0:14:22 > 0:14:24It's really good, actually and I hope

0:14:24 > 0:14:27all the fellas that haven't seen the book will go and watch the film,

0:14:27 > 0:14:30- cos it's not just for girls.- Seen the book?

0:14:30 > 0:14:31LAUGHTER

0:14:31 > 0:14:34Pop-up, just see Christian Grey's D just boom!

0:14:34 > 0:14:35LAUGHTER

0:14:35 > 0:14:37I've not read it but how dirty is it?

0:14:37 > 0:14:39My mum screamed in the night and I was like,

0:14:39 > 0:14:41"Mum, why did you scream in the night?"

0:14:41 > 0:14:43She said, "There was a bug under my bed!"

0:14:43 > 0:14:45I was like, "Yeah, right!"

0:14:45 > 0:14:47- Mum!- My dad came out sweating like a...

0:14:47 > 0:14:48ROCHELLE SHRIEKS

0:14:48 > 0:14:50LAUGHTER

0:14:50 > 0:14:51"What is going on!?"

0:14:51 > 0:14:53"There was a bug in my vagina!"

0:14:53 > 0:14:55LAUGHTER

0:14:55 > 0:14:57Right, time now for Rochelle and Melvin,

0:14:57 > 0:14:58The Challenges!

0:14:58 > 0:15:00This is where, each week, I pit our team captains

0:15:00 > 0:15:03against each other, they have to take a small sweat out,

0:15:03 > 0:15:05onto the streets and into the public spaces.

0:15:05 > 0:15:09This week's sweat is all about awkward conversations that

0:15:09 > 0:15:11you have with hairdressers.

0:15:11 > 0:15:13The standard, "Are you going anywhere nice on your holiday?"

0:15:13 > 0:15:15That kind of drivel.

0:15:15 > 0:15:17So, I sent Rochelle and Melvin out to find out what would happen

0:15:17 > 0:15:19when they became those annoying hairdressers.

0:15:19 > 0:15:23Let's find out who won. This is Rochelle and Melvin, The Challenges!

0:15:31 > 0:15:33A hairdressing challenge? Melvin's bald!

0:15:33 > 0:15:35LAUGHTER

0:15:35 > 0:15:36Yes, I do have a bald head and yes,

0:15:36 > 0:15:39I haven't been to a hairdresser since the naughties.

0:15:39 > 0:15:42I've spent more time in hairdressers than I have with my own family,

0:15:42 > 0:15:43to be honest.

0:15:43 > 0:15:46But I've got hair in other places, like my eyebrows, my face,

0:15:46 > 0:15:48my chest and my balls!

0:15:48 > 0:15:50LAUGHTER

0:15:50 > 0:15:54OK, be negative about your client five times.

0:15:54 > 0:15:57Easy!

0:15:57 > 0:16:00I've noticed a, kind of, home-made look to your hair,

0:16:00 > 0:16:03have you been cutting it yourself?

0:16:03 > 0:16:04No.

0:16:04 > 0:16:06- I found a tiny little grey.- Don't!

0:16:06 > 0:16:09- What area are you from?- Brixton.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11- Where?- Brixton.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14Oh, ooof, I would not step a foot in there.

0:16:14 > 0:16:16My mum still won't even let me go into Brixton.

0:16:16 > 0:16:18LAUGHTER

0:16:18 > 0:16:21I'll just give it a couple of washes, just to be sure.

0:16:21 > 0:16:24It's just so thick and it is a bit dirty too.

0:16:24 > 0:16:26Where did you get your outfit from?

0:16:26 > 0:16:28Cos I'm going shopping with my grandma

0:16:28 > 0:16:30and she needs some new clothes.

0:16:30 > 0:16:31LAUGHTER

0:16:31 > 0:16:33Your outfit's good, where did you get that from?

0:16:33 > 0:16:36- I dyed these jeans myself.- You dyed them?!

0:16:36 > 0:16:38- Yeah.- Oh, yeah, I can tell you did them yourself, actually.

0:16:38 > 0:16:42- So, what's the fancy dress party that you're going to today?- Pardon?

0:16:42 > 0:16:43The fancy dress party?

0:16:43 > 0:16:45- You're not going to fancy dress?- No.

0:16:45 > 0:16:46So, are they your normal clothes?

0:16:46 > 0:16:48- Yeah.- OK.

0:16:48 > 0:16:52- Sorry, I thought I saw something moving then.- Moving?

0:16:52 > 0:16:53And how often do you moisturise?

0:16:53 > 0:16:55- Loads.- Really?- Yeah.

0:16:55 > 0:16:58You need to moisturise a little bit more.

0:16:58 > 0:17:00- Do you sleep with a face mask?- No.

0:17:00 > 0:17:01Do it!

0:17:01 > 0:17:04You know, you've got a bit of a familiar face,

0:17:04 > 0:17:05you look a bit like my brother.

0:17:05 > 0:17:06He's like you,

0:17:06 > 0:17:09he doesn't care about his hair or what he wears or anything.

0:17:09 > 0:17:11LAUGHTER

0:17:15 > 0:17:17APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:17:19 > 0:17:23Thank you for playing, Melvin and Rochelle, The Challenges.

0:17:23 > 0:17:24APPLAUSE

0:17:26 > 0:17:29Romesh, you have got your third child on the way.

0:17:29 > 0:17:32Congratulations, Romesh.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34APPLAUSE

0:17:36 > 0:17:39That's almost like too many kids...three!

0:17:39 > 0:17:41The thing is, I don't actually know

0:17:41 > 0:17:43if I want a third child.

0:17:43 > 0:17:44I know it's gotten late in the day.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46I'll tell you why, it's

0:17:46 > 0:17:51because our first two children are boys that look like my wife,

0:17:51 > 0:17:56which means that our third is most likely to be a girl that looks

0:17:56 > 0:17:58a lot like an Asian Rolf Harris.

0:17:58 > 0:18:00LAUGHTER

0:18:00 > 0:18:02I don't want a daughter, like, at 40 years old,

0:18:02 > 0:18:04we can't get her married off.

0:18:04 > 0:18:06I don't want to create...

0:18:06 > 0:18:07LAUGHTER

0:18:07 > 0:18:09I don't want to create a cat lady.

0:18:09 > 0:18:11Do you know what I mean? LAUGHTER

0:18:11 > 0:18:13Now, as we all know,

0:18:13 > 0:18:16we have two of the planet's biggest pop stars on the show tonight.

0:18:16 > 0:18:18We have Example and we have Rita Ora.

0:18:18 > 0:18:21- Sorry, Rochelle.- That's OK. - LAUGHTER

0:18:21 > 0:18:23But I want to find out which one of these big pop stars is

0:18:23 > 0:18:25the most rock'n'roll.

0:18:25 > 0:18:30To decide, let me introduce you to...The Rockometer!

0:18:30 > 0:18:32Holy shit, man!

0:18:32 > 0:18:34APPLAUSE

0:18:34 > 0:18:36That is good, right?

0:18:36 > 0:18:37It's good!

0:18:37 > 0:18:40The Rockometer is a physical representation of just how

0:18:40 > 0:18:43rock'n'roll you and Example are.

0:18:43 > 0:18:46At the bottom of the Rockometer is Gareth Malone.

0:18:47 > 0:18:49The top end you will see Ozzy Osbourne.

0:18:49 > 0:18:53The first one to reach the top of the Rockometer wins a bonus

0:18:53 > 0:18:54point for their team.

0:18:54 > 0:18:55So, this is serious shit!

0:18:55 > 0:18:57RITA: I'd better win!

0:18:57 > 0:19:01First up, have you ever trashed a hotel room, Example?

0:19:01 > 0:19:02Yeah.

0:19:02 > 0:19:03- Rita Ora?- Yeah.

0:19:03 > 0:19:05Yeah, OK, let's move you both up there.

0:19:05 > 0:19:07What did you do to this hotel room?

0:19:07 > 0:19:10- Well...- Did you take a shit in the sink?

0:19:10 > 0:19:11No, but I did do it in the bin.

0:19:11 > 0:19:14- Moving you back down then...in where?- In the bin.

0:19:14 > 0:19:16In the bin? We're moving you back up there.

0:19:16 > 0:19:19Only because it was the only... SHE LAUGHS

0:19:19 > 0:19:21I'll tell you what, it wasn't a shit, it was a wee, OK.

0:19:21 > 0:19:23Because my friend was in the toilet being sick because she was

0:19:23 > 0:19:26really drunk and I really had to wee, so I weed in the bin.

0:19:26 > 0:19:28Is it one of those bins that's got holes in it?

0:19:28 > 0:19:30LAUGHTER

0:19:30 > 0:19:32Have you ever slept with a groupie?

0:19:32 > 0:19:34# These hoes ain't loyal...#

0:19:34 > 0:19:36Erm, no.

0:19:36 > 0:19:38- No? You?- Loads.

0:19:38 > 0:19:40Yeah!

0:19:40 > 0:19:41LAUGHTER

0:19:41 > 0:19:45Have you ever got off with a model, say, Cara Delevingne?

0:19:45 > 0:19:47Yeah.

0:19:47 > 0:19:49Rock'n'roll, man!

0:19:50 > 0:19:53You're married to one, aren't you?

0:19:53 > 0:19:55Miss Australia, it's different.

0:19:55 > 0:19:59- Yeah, come on, up there, up there. - All right, we'll move you up one.

0:19:59 > 0:20:02Have you ever had a poo at Jay-Z's house?

0:20:02 > 0:20:03Yeah!

0:20:03 > 0:20:05Yeah!

0:20:05 > 0:20:06APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER

0:20:06 > 0:20:09- Big time!- You didn't go in his bin, did you?

0:20:09 > 0:20:10LAUGHTER

0:20:10 > 0:20:12Have you ever snogged a celebrity?

0:20:12 > 0:20:14I've snogged Calvin Harris.

0:20:14 > 0:20:15No, you have not.

0:20:15 > 0:20:17- Have you?- No.

0:20:17 > 0:20:20Is that what that connection was in Ibiza?

0:20:21 > 0:20:23- Yeah, I have.- Come on, who?

0:20:23 > 0:20:25No, I'm not saying, I can't say.

0:20:25 > 0:20:27- You only get the point if you say who.- Come on, whisper.

0:20:27 > 0:20:29No, cos she was married.

0:20:29 > 0:20:31Oooooh! Was it Lorraine Kelly?

0:20:31 > 0:20:33You, apart from Calvin Harris?

0:20:33 > 0:20:35Pfff...

0:20:35 > 0:20:37- Yeah.- Yeah.

0:20:37 > 0:20:39Yeah, but I don't want to bring them

0:20:39 > 0:20:42back into the world, cos they're not relevant!

0:20:42 > 0:20:44Oh, wow! Bitch got burnt.

0:20:44 > 0:20:46LAUGHTER

0:20:46 > 0:20:50Have you ever hade sex with more than one person in one day?

0:20:50 > 0:20:53No!

0:20:53 > 0:20:54He's rock'n'roll, Example!

0:20:54 > 0:20:56- No.- No.

0:20:56 > 0:20:58- I think, three in one day.- No way!

0:20:58 > 0:21:01- Up again.- Holy shit! - At the same time?

0:21:01 > 0:21:03No...erm...no.

0:21:04 > 0:21:08Oh! That electric guitar sound means it's the end of the game.

0:21:08 > 0:21:12Example, you are so rock'n'roll!

0:21:12 > 0:21:15CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:21:15 > 0:21:17APPLAUSE DROWNS SPEECH

0:21:19 > 0:21:21Let's move on to the next round.

0:21:21 > 0:21:23It's time for the Sweat Box

0:21:23 > 0:21:26where we get you to help members of this audience.

0:21:26 > 0:21:28They will go into the Sweat Box. They'll tell you

0:21:28 > 0:21:30what they've been sweating about.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33You've got to do your best to help them out with advice.

0:21:33 > 0:21:35Whichever team they decide has given them the most help

0:21:35 > 0:21:37will win the points.

0:21:37 > 0:21:40- Who is first in the Sweat Box? - I'm Owen. This is my mum, Helen.

0:21:40 > 0:21:43Hi, Owen. Hi, Helen. Hi.

0:21:43 > 0:21:47- What is your sweat, please? - Whenever we go out

0:21:47 > 0:21:49everybody mistakes us for a lesbian couple.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:21:52 > 0:21:54Wow!

0:21:54 > 0:21:56APPLAUSE

0:21:56 > 0:22:00This is a good one. Owen, how old are you and how old is your mum?

0:22:00 > 0:22:04I'm 20 and my mum is 47.

0:22:04 > 0:22:11So there's a 27-year age gap. You're both a different gender.

0:22:11 > 0:22:13You're related yet people are convinced

0:22:13 > 0:22:15you are lesbian lovers?

0:22:15 > 0:22:19Yeah. I'm six foot odd and I've got size 14 feet.

0:22:19 > 0:22:21What a show off.

0:22:21 > 0:22:26What advice have you got for Owen and his mum?

0:22:26 > 0:22:29- Do you guys go out together a lot? - Yeah.- Quite a bit.

0:22:29 > 0:22:31Just stop going out together.

0:22:31 > 0:22:32No, not like that!

0:22:32 > 0:22:34Do you go to lesbian bars together?

0:22:34 > 0:22:39- No!- First of all it's about the location. Where are you guys going?

0:22:39 > 0:22:44- We just go to the theatre a lot.- Aw! I love my mum.

0:22:44 > 0:22:46- Elis?- I'd embrace it.

0:22:46 > 0:22:49If you went out with your mum,

0:22:49 > 0:22:51you'd get your clothes washed...

0:22:51 > 0:22:54She's not going to charge you any rent.

0:22:54 > 0:22:59- You're saying he should go out with his mother...- Yeah.

0:22:59 > 0:23:01..in a romantic, lesbian relationship?

0:23:01 > 0:23:05It's frowned upon in most cultures.

0:23:05 > 0:23:09The key word is most and not all.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11In Wales, fine.

0:23:12 > 0:23:14What would you do over here?

0:23:14 > 0:23:18First of all, Owen, you have got incredible hair.

0:23:18 > 0:23:21I'm all about the hair, to be honest.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23It's really good.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25But it is a tiny bit lesbiany.

0:23:27 > 0:23:31I think you look like a successful magician.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34You've got a choice here. You can either...

0:23:34 > 0:23:37It depends how attached you are to the hairstyle.

0:23:37 > 0:23:40You can either...de-lesbos it

0:23:40 > 0:23:42or...

0:23:42 > 0:23:46just from now on, when you're out with your mum,

0:23:46 > 0:23:49you pretend that you've forgotten to do your flies up

0:23:49 > 0:23:50and swing low, sweet chariot.

0:23:50 > 0:23:53Whose advice are you going to go for?

0:23:53 > 0:23:57They are saying get your dick out.

0:23:57 > 0:24:00Elis is saying, go for it - date your mum in a lesbian...

0:24:02 > 0:24:06- Owen?- I think we should go for Rochelle.

0:24:06 > 0:24:08Rochelle's team, you get the point.

0:24:08 > 0:24:09Thank you.

0:24:09 > 0:24:12APPLAUSE

0:24:12 > 0:24:13I love them!

0:24:13 > 0:24:15Who's next in the Sweat Box?

0:24:15 > 0:24:18Hiya. My name's Ryan. I'm 22.

0:24:18 > 0:24:20ALL: Hi, Ryan.

0:24:20 > 0:24:22What is your sweat, Ryan?

0:24:22 > 0:24:27- I've been getting botox for the past couple of years...- What?!

0:24:27 > 0:24:30- Yeah! Don't sound so shocked! - You're a baby!

0:24:30 > 0:24:34My next step, I want cheek fillers, lip fillers and veneers but

0:24:34 > 0:24:38my parents are saying don't... Do I go against my mum

0:24:38 > 0:24:39or do I go with what I want?

0:24:39 > 0:24:40Do you know what I've done?

0:24:40 > 0:24:42I've got in touch with a plastic surgeon.

0:24:42 > 0:24:46I've got him to mock up how you might look

0:24:46 > 0:24:52and this actually cost us five grand to mock up.

0:24:52 > 0:24:55- This is exactly what you'll look like.- Let's see.

0:24:58 > 0:25:01What the hell? They're Ryland's teeth

0:25:01 > 0:25:03and somebody looks like they've had a shit on my face.

0:25:05 > 0:25:08I think you look amazing. Rita, what do you think?

0:25:08 > 0:25:10I don't think you need it.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12I'm not discriminating -

0:25:12 > 0:25:15I think it's genius but there's a time and a place.

0:25:15 > 0:25:17You're smiling without one wrinkle.

0:25:17 > 0:25:22- That's cos I've had botox! - Try and frown.

0:25:25 > 0:25:26Oh, my God.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28Elis, any advice?

0:25:28 > 0:25:31You don't need it. You don't need botox when you're 22.

0:25:31 > 0:25:35- I go on the sun beds that much... - Why don't you have...

0:25:35 > 0:25:38Why don't you go for the spray tan and not the sun bed?

0:25:38 > 0:25:39No. They smell like biscuits.

0:25:39 > 0:25:43Do you never get it when you walk past somebody in ASDA

0:25:43 > 0:25:45and they're there in their track suit and you walk past and...

0:25:45 > 0:25:49- "Ooh, they stink!"- That's cos you're in the biscuit aisle.

0:25:51 > 0:25:55The thing I'd say to you is it's only three years ago I was white

0:25:55 > 0:25:57and...

0:25:58 > 0:26:00..I asked for one coat too many

0:26:00 > 0:26:03and I had to change my name to Ranganathan...

0:26:03 > 0:26:06LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH

0:26:06 > 0:26:10Or hang around with ugly people and you'll be the good-looking one.

0:26:10 > 0:26:13Yeah, but my friends aren't ugly. I just feel the ugly one.

0:26:13 > 0:26:15ALL: Aw!

0:26:15 > 0:26:17Just do it.

0:26:20 > 0:26:22Whose advice are you going to take?

0:26:22 > 0:26:26- Can I take both of them?- No.

0:26:26 > 0:26:28I'll just take Rita's.

0:26:28 > 0:26:31A point for both teams. Whatever.

0:26:31 > 0:26:33APPLAUSE

0:26:37 > 0:26:40That was the final round. Thank you, Sweat Boxers!

0:26:40 > 0:26:42APPLAUSE

0:26:42 > 0:26:44It's the end of the show, which means

0:26:44 > 0:26:47it is time for me to announce who the winner is

0:26:47 > 0:26:49of Sweat The Small Stuff.

0:26:49 > 0:26:51HEARTBEAT THROBS

0:26:51 > 0:26:54I'm feeling tense right now.

0:26:54 > 0:26:56Anyone would think that I actually cared.

0:26:59 > 0:27:02This is almost as tense... when Rochelle...

0:27:02 > 0:27:06RITA CHANTS

0:27:06 > 0:27:07Are you possessed?

0:27:10 > 0:27:14The winners of tonight's show are...

0:27:15 > 0:27:18It's Rochelle's team!

0:27:18 > 0:27:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:27:22 > 0:27:26A big thank you to Rochelle, Romesh and Example,

0:27:26 > 0:27:28Melvin, Rita and Elis.

0:27:28 > 0:27:30This has been Sweat The Small Stuff. I've been Nick Grimshaw,

0:27:30 > 0:27:32you've been beautiful, good night.

0:27:32 > 0:27:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE