0:00:30 > 0:00:32- CHILDREN SHOUTING: Fight! Fight! Fight!- Hey!
0:00:32 > 0:00:34- Fight! Fight! Fight!- Hey!
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Clear off. Go on!
0:00:38 > 0:00:42Mr Seward, Mr MacGregor, what the hell is going on?
0:00:42 > 0:00:45- He drank me coffee, sir. - Enough of your lip!- Sir, he...
0:00:45 > 0:00:48I don't want to hear it!
0:00:48 > 0:00:50You, get to my office!
0:00:51 > 0:00:55And as for you, you'll be taking 4D on a field trip.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57- Oh... - SIGHS
0:00:59 > 0:01:02As you can see, it's been a tough year for the company.
0:01:02 > 0:01:08We slowed down in the last two quarters, but after preventing the Hare Corporation takeover,
0:01:08 > 0:01:12we can accelerate through the next. Any questions, Mr Tortoise?
0:01:15 > 0:01:17No? OK then, we'll move on.
0:01:17 > 0:01:21- There's a bomb in the building. We've got to get out!- Let's go!
0:01:21 > 0:01:24ALARM GOES OFF Move it, quick! Hurry up!
0:01:28 > 0:01:30Damn.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38Stop running!
0:01:44 > 0:01:47ALARM STILL GOING OFF
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Right...
0:02:10 > 0:02:12Tuck in.
0:02:14 > 0:02:17I'm sensing a bit of an atmosphere here.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20What's the matter?
0:02:24 > 0:02:26Right, this stops now.
0:02:26 > 0:02:29- You need to talk to each other.- Hmm.
0:02:29 > 0:02:34Just put the fight behind us. It's time to move on, forgive and forget.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Forget what? Hey-hey!
0:02:36 > 0:02:38Exactly.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42We've got a big gig coming up and we need to be a team.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44A team? Like The A-Team?
0:02:44 > 0:02:46SINGS THEME TUNE
0:02:46 > 0:02:49- Oh, shut up! - Hey, there's no need for that!
0:02:49 > 0:02:53Don't touch me! I know where that hand's been.
0:02:53 > 0:02:57- You make him nervous. - He's not nervous. He's a show-off.
0:02:57 > 0:03:00But he's a great talent and he can go all night.
0:03:00 > 0:03:03If he's that good, you can do the gig without me.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06You know we can't. They're expecting a threesome.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10Tough! You need to choose, Bob. It's either me...
0:03:11 > 0:03:12..or him.
0:03:12 > 0:03:15- I can handle you both. - SINGS TUNE
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Is he going to stop? Are you going to stop?
0:03:18 > 0:03:24- I'm going to stop him. I'm going to knock his block off!- Stop it, both of you! I can't hear myself think.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28I've had enough of this. I'm going to bed.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Well?
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Are you two not coming?
0:03:40 > 0:03:41Fine!
0:03:42 > 0:03:45Suit yourselves!
0:03:52 > 0:03:54ALARM STILL GOING OFF
0:04:00 > 0:04:05- That door's locked! We're going to use the back door!- The back door!
0:04:14 > 0:04:16Oh, crap!
0:04:18 > 0:04:23- Any instructions for the recovery team?- Check dressings and wound site for haematoma.
0:04:23 > 0:04:27Make sure the drain is less than 500ml in the next 24 hours.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31OK... Did you get up to anything last night?
0:04:31 > 0:04:36- Well, yes. Do you know that nurse in A&E?- Yeah.- Jane?
0:04:36 > 0:04:41- Yeah.- I took her out for dinner. - Wow! She's lovely. How did you manage that?
0:04:41 > 0:04:46Quite simple, really. I said, "Do you know CPR because you take my breath away?"
0:04:46 > 0:04:51# No need to ask He's a smooth operator
0:04:52 > 0:04:56# Smooth operator
0:04:56 > 0:04:59# Smooth operator
0:04:59 > 0:05:04# Smooth operator
0:05:04 > 0:05:08# Coast to coast, LA to Chicago
0:05:08 > 0:05:11# Western male... #
0:05:32 > 0:05:33Psst!
0:05:33 > 0:05:35Psst!
0:05:35 > 0:05:36What?
0:05:36 > 0:05:38Are you awake?
0:05:38 > 0:05:40Yes.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42How are you feeling?
0:05:42 > 0:05:43Stiff.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48I thought that was Bob. Hey-hey!
0:05:49 > 0:05:51I'm sorry for attacking you.
0:05:52 > 0:05:55I never meant to take Bob away from you.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Yes, you did.
0:05:57 > 0:06:02Look, it wasn't until we started talking that I found out about you
0:06:02 > 0:06:06and by that time, he was in too deep.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14You know, I actually admire you in a way.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Really?
0:06:16 > 0:06:20You've always got a smile on your face. I don't know how you do it.
0:06:20 > 0:06:24It's how I'm painted. Hey-hey!
0:06:26 > 0:06:30I'm not a funny puppet. Not any more.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33- I have my dark moments too, you know.- Really?
0:06:33 > 0:06:36I had a massive empty space inside of me
0:06:36 > 0:06:38and then Bob came along...
0:06:39 > 0:06:41..and filled it.
0:06:41 > 0:06:46Since you've been around, I've seen a different side to Bob.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48How do you mean?
0:06:48 > 0:06:51I sit on his left side now.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Hey-hey!
0:06:58 > 0:07:00CREAKING
0:07:14 > 0:07:17I think we'd better get rehearsing.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25ALARM RINGS
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Right, I want this nonsense to stop.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Of course. Understood, Headmaster.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Sorry.
0:07:50 > 0:07:52No, listen. I'm sorry.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Thank you. Now, back to lessons.
0:08:00 > 0:08:03Right, class, open up your books to page 23.
0:08:08 > 0:08:14Sometimes, sir, I think we're sacrificing too much to crack this damn female code.
0:08:14 > 0:08:20Every agent accepts the risks. He knew what he was doing when he moved in with her.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22What if we've gone too far?
0:08:22 > 0:08:25- No... No.- He's coming round, sir.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28- Leave me!- Frank!- What?- Frank!
0:08:28 > 0:08:31You're back at HQ. You've been in the infirmary.
0:08:31 > 0:08:35- What happened? - We think the female poisoned you.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Can you remember anything, Frank?
0:08:37 > 0:08:40I can't speak. I'm completely parched.
0:08:40 > 0:08:46- Here!- We've taken your blood. We'll get a diagnosis any moment now. Don't worry.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48I don't want to die!
0:08:48 > 0:08:51- PHONE RINGS - You won't. You're in good hands now.
0:08:51 > 0:08:55- You're a credit to your gender, Frank.- Hello?
0:08:56 > 0:08:58All right, thank you.
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Sir, the test results are in. It's man flu.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04No!
0:09:04 > 0:09:07- Get a blanket and boil an egg. - Right oh.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10- And make some soldiers.- Roger.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13Blast! I still can't do two things at once, sir.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Of course not. Frank, you'll just have to soldier on.
0:09:17 > 0:09:19I can't take any more, sir.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21Please, just...
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Just finish me.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25You'll get through this, old chap.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28She'll pay for this. Mark my words.
0:09:28 > 0:09:34- They're obviously getting close, sir.- No, I'm not entirely sure it was her. She has it as well.
0:09:34 > 0:09:39- How do you know?- She had a headache. - That's not completely unusual.
0:09:39 > 0:09:43But this wasn't at lights out, sir. This was during the day.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45My God!
0:09:45 > 0:09:48And even with the sniffles, she just carried on.
0:09:48 > 0:09:51They must have a secret antidote, sir.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53They're cleverer than we thought.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57- Did she show you any sympathy, Frank?- No. Quite the opposite.
0:09:57 > 0:10:01I was lying on a sofa barely alive...
0:10:01 > 0:10:03and when I groaned in pain,
0:10:03 > 0:10:07she just said to me, "You should try giving birth!"
0:10:07 > 0:10:09That's completely irrelevant.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12- Then she went to work. - She went to work?
0:10:12 > 0:10:14- Yes.- Unbelievable!
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Sir...
0:10:16 > 0:10:18He's smelling a bit.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20- Perhaps we should run him a bath. - No.
0:10:20 > 0:10:24No bathing until it is out of his system completely.
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Stinking is part of the cure.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30I'm sorry I didn't crack the code, sir.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Don't you close your eyes, God damn it!
0:10:34 > 0:10:36He's gone, sir.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39He's with the angels now.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41SNORES
0:10:50 > 0:10:52ALARM STILL GOING OFF
0:11:14 > 0:11:19Can you give me the number for the Little Bay Restaurant in Bath Street?
0:11:19 > 0:11:23- I've just sent a text to your phone. - Thanks.- Going on a date, are we?
0:11:23 > 0:11:25No, just me. I fancied a night out.
0:11:25 > 0:11:28Maybe I can make it a table for two.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29Sorry?
0:11:29 > 0:11:34# No need to ask He's a smooth operator
0:11:35 > 0:11:39# Smooth operator
0:11:39 > 0:11:42# Smooth operator
0:11:42 > 0:11:47# Smooth operator... #
0:11:48 > 0:11:50Lisa! Lisa!
0:11:50 > 0:11:56Cancel my two o'clock, hold all my calls and get some sandwiches in here pronto.
0:11:56 > 0:12:00Guys, I know this is difficult, but we're running out of time.
0:12:00 > 0:12:03I need a resolution by close of play today.
0:12:05 > 0:12:07We're firing blanks.
0:12:07 > 0:12:11There's loads of questions, but no real answers.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14Come on, Alan, you're better than this.
0:12:14 > 0:12:16- Am I fat?- No.- No.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18- Am I bald?- No.- No.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21- So I'm definitely not Buddha?- No!
0:12:21 > 0:12:24I don't know who I am. Can I get HR down here, please?
0:12:24 > 0:12:30- No, there's too many forms to fill in. Let's just push on. - I'm never going to get it.
0:12:30 > 0:12:35- We won't be able to give you a smiley face on your report card. - Will this affect my appraisal?
0:12:35 > 0:12:38- It's too early to tell. - Am I a badger?
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Stop sniffing the pens, Colin.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45Let's park it on the hard shoulder. We've spent far too long on this.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49I'm sorry, Gary. I feel like I've let you down. I don't want that.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53It's all right. Let's just move on to the main issue. Colin?
0:12:55 > 0:12:59I spy with my little eye something beginning with T.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01PHONE RINGS Telephone.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04- Yes!- Brilliant, Alan!
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Great meeting, guys. Well done.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15And move on to your next date.
0:13:15 > 0:13:20It was really nice meeting you. Hopefully, we'll see each other again at some point.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Hi.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26- Sorry, it's the girls that move on.- What?
0:13:26 > 0:13:30Yeah. No, it's the girls, they move on.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33Oh, I see. I'm not good enough for you?
0:13:33 > 0:13:38- I'm not saying that.- It looks different from where I'm sitting.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Well, you've only just met me.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Then we should go for a drink.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45But I'm not gay.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Is drinking gay?
0:13:48 > 0:13:50- No, but... - So what are you doing Friday?
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- Nothing.- Great.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58This is nice.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Yeah, look, uh...
0:14:00 > 0:14:02I'm going to go.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04Why?
0:14:04 > 0:14:07- Well, I'm into women.- Oh, my God!
0:14:07 > 0:14:11- You're homophobic. - No, I'm not. I'm an open guy.
0:14:11 > 0:14:16- Great. Then come back to mine and we'll have a coffee.- I'm not gay.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Is coffee gay?
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- No, but...- Exactly.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29One sugar or two?
0:14:29 > 0:14:31Look, um...
0:14:31 > 0:14:36Are you sure this is all right because I'm not into guys?
0:14:37 > 0:14:39- You really need to open up.- Right.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43- How about a little dance?- What? - Is dancing gay?
0:14:43 > 0:14:45Well, no, but...
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Ssh!
0:14:47 > 0:14:49Exactly.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53MUSIC: "Lady In Red" by Chris de Burgh
0:15:09 > 0:15:13# I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight
0:15:13 > 0:15:17# I've never seen you shine so bright
0:15:17 > 0:15:19# Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm
0:15:21 > 0:15:25# I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance
0:15:25 > 0:15:28# They're looking for a little... #
0:15:32 > 0:15:38Here, on the open plains of the British high street, the daily stampede has begun.
0:15:38 > 0:15:42But in this lonely and sometimes hostile environment,
0:15:42 > 0:15:47one of the most irritating creatures known to Man actually thrives.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49Spare two minutes for charity?
0:15:49 > 0:15:54The street fund-raiser or chugger, dogged and persistent.
0:15:54 > 0:15:56Spare two minutes for charity?
0:15:56 > 0:15:59Oh, how no'? Spare two minutes for charity?
0:15:59 > 0:16:01Oh, how no'?
0:16:01 > 0:16:04- To be caught in their web can be fatal.- Hello!
0:16:04 > 0:16:08He's spotted me. I'm now in real danger.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11- Adopt a donkey?- Excuse me. Sorry.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14Hello...? Yes, yes, I'm listening.
0:16:14 > 0:16:15Yes...
0:16:15 > 0:16:18I'm not really talking to anyone.
0:16:19 > 0:16:24The danger has just increased with the arrival of one of nature's greatest predators.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
0:16:27 > 0:16:30- The chav... - Spare two minutes for charity?
0:16:30 > 0:16:33- Whit?- Stroke a donkey? - Stroke a donkey?
0:16:33 > 0:16:35Ugh!
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Bampot.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:16:56 > 0:16:59- One last beer?- No, I'd better not.
0:16:59 > 0:17:03- She's making me macaroni cheese tonight.- Your favourite. Of course.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06Look, I'd better go.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17- I'll visit.- Thanks.
0:17:17 > 0:17:20All the best.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27# Don't go
0:17:27 > 0:17:30# Don't go...
0:17:33 > 0:17:37# You were the one that made us complete
0:17:37 > 0:17:43# With your dirty dishes and your smelly feet
0:17:43 > 0:17:48# I'm so numb, I can't feel any more
0:17:48 > 0:17:52# I'm prayin' that you'll walk back through the kitchen door
0:17:53 > 0:17:58# Someone tell me that I'm only dreaming
0:17:58 > 0:18:02# He stole my toothbrush and my heart inside me
0:18:02 > 0:18:08# In this world without heroes he shone so bright
0:18:08 > 0:18:13# I'm jealous of the woman who's holding him tonight
0:18:13 > 0:18:17# It's like this man crush came from heaven
0:18:17 > 0:18:22# Not a pub in 2007...
0:18:32 > 0:18:35# Let's not shake hands and shrug
0:18:35 > 0:18:37# Just hold me in a man hug
0:18:37 > 0:18:39# Say how we feel
0:18:39 > 0:18:42# Show that it's real
0:18:42 > 0:18:44# Titanic made me cry... #
0:18:44 > 0:18:46ALARM RINGS
0:18:52 > 0:18:56# I cried at Titanic
0:18:59 > 0:19:02# I'm that sort of guy
0:19:05 > 0:19:07# This is a true bromance
0:19:07 > 0:19:10# We've got to take that chance
0:19:10 > 0:19:12# Say how we feel
0:19:12 > 0:19:14# Show that it's real
0:19:14 > 0:19:17# Let's not shake hands and shrug
0:19:17 > 0:19:20# Just hold me in a man hug
0:19:20 > 0:19:22# Say how we feel
0:19:22 > 0:19:24# Show that it's real... #
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Delivery for you.
0:19:31 > 0:19:34DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:19:51 > 0:19:54CHEERING
0:19:57 > 0:19:59PHONE RINGING
0:20:02 > 0:20:05- Mr Donald?- Yeah.- Come in.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12I'm your son's consultant paediatrician. Please take a seat.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17How is he?
0:20:17 > 0:20:21Well, we've assessed him and we think he may be depressed.
0:20:21 > 0:20:27- Really?- I'm afraid so. I sang "if you're happy and you know it" and he didn't clap his hands.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38No, Lisa, we've already tried that. It doesn't work, sweetheart.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41Of course we've plugged it in!
0:20:41 > 0:20:43(Colin, is it plugged in?)
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Yeah.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Look, it's definitely not that.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51OK, find out whose job it is and get back to me.
0:20:54 > 0:20:58- Alan, do you know whose job it is to turn on the projector?- No.
0:20:58 > 0:21:02I've just seen Steve turn the kettle on. Maybe it's him.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04- Colin, go and get him.- OK.
0:21:04 > 0:21:07No. No, wait.
0:21:07 > 0:21:10- I've got something very important to tell you.- What?
0:21:10 > 0:21:14- Now, you've got to promise not to tell anyone.- What is it?
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Santa works in our office.
0:21:18 > 0:21:22- Really? Well, I didn't interview him.- I think he's in disguise.
0:21:22 > 0:21:25A secret Santa?
0:21:26 > 0:21:30- Who told you?- Sheila from Accounts, but she's very hush-hush about it.
0:21:30 > 0:21:33Well, why didn't I know about this?
0:21:35 > 0:21:37I wonder who it is?
0:21:37 > 0:21:39- They all look so normal.- Hmm.
0:21:39 > 0:21:43- Where do you think he keeps his reindeer?- On the roof?
0:21:43 > 0:21:47Maybe it's Malcolm. He's always got carrots.
0:21:47 > 0:21:51- No, they're for his houmous. - Roger in HR has got a bit of a beard. Maybe it's him.
0:21:51 > 0:21:53He's not got the tummy though.
0:21:56 > 0:22:00- It's not me!- Apparently, every present's got to be under a fiver.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Aw!
0:22:02 > 0:22:05It's got to be someone in the post room.
0:22:05 > 0:22:09It's Margaret. She's got massive hands and an Adam's apple.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13Don't be ridiculous. Margaret's gorgeous.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15No, I think it's got to be Jim.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17- Damn!- What?
0:22:17 > 0:22:22I broke Jim's pencil sharpener yesterday. I might not get anything.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26- I want so many things. - We'd better write a list.
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Right, what do we want?
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Colin?
0:22:30 > 0:22:32Someone that can work the projector.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35- Ding!- Dong!
0:22:35 > 0:22:37- Ding!- Dong!
0:22:37 > 0:22:39- Ding!- Dong!
0:22:39 > 0:22:41- Ding!- Dong!
0:22:41 > 0:22:42- Ding!- Dong!
0:22:42 > 0:22:44- Ding!- Dong!
0:22:44 > 0:22:46- Ding!- Dong!
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Ding!
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Psst! It's you.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55I forgot the words.
0:23:05 > 0:23:07CAR DOOR CLICKS
0:23:14 > 0:23:16DRAMATIC MUSIC
0:24:12 > 0:24:14All right?
0:24:14 > 0:24:17- What the hell do you think you're playing at?- What?
0:24:17 > 0:24:19You've stolen my shadow.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22- I haven't.- Yes, you have.
0:24:22 > 0:24:27- Well, if he's yours, why does he follow everything I do?- Does he?
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Hey!
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Look, he's tired. We were up late.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37And we had a few drinks.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40Just give me him back.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Whatever, mate. I'm going to work.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Wait!
0:24:45 > 0:24:47Do you remember the good old days?
0:24:53 > 0:24:57MUSIC: "Me And My Shadow"
0:24:57 > 0:25:00# Like the wallpaper sticks to the wall
0:25:02 > 0:25:04# Like the seashore clings to the sea
0:25:06 > 0:25:11# Like you'll never get rid of your shadow
0:25:11 > 0:25:14# You'll never get rid of me
0:25:16 > 0:25:18# Let all the others fight and fuss
0:25:19 > 0:25:22# Whatever happens
0:25:22 > 0:25:25# We've got us
0:25:28 > 0:25:30# Me...
0:25:30 > 0:25:34- # We're closer than pages that stick in a book - ..and my shadow
0:25:34 > 0:25:38# We're closer than ripples that flow in a brook
0:25:38 > 0:25:42# Wherever you find him, you'll find me, just look... #
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Hey! What are YOU doing here?
0:25:45 > 0:25:49- I was feeling left out. - But these are OUR good old days.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53- But I want to be part of the magic. - Have you got your dancing shoes?
0:25:53 > 0:25:55You bet I do!
0:25:55 > 0:26:00# We're alone but far from blue
0:26:03 > 0:26:08# Before we get finished, we'll make the town roar
0:26:08 > 0:26:12# We'll hit a few late spots and then a few more
0:26:12 > 0:26:17# We'll start up at Stringy's and maybe Groucho's
0:26:17 > 0:26:21# Life is gonna be a wow-wow-whee
0:26:21 > 0:26:25# For my shadow
0:26:25 > 0:26:31# And me-e-e-e-e-e-e! #
0:27:01 > 0:27:04Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd