0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06What are you doing?
0:00:06 > 0:00:09We are going for a ramble.
0:00:09 > 0:00:12- What do you want to do that for? - Fresh air and good company.
0:00:12 > 0:00:14- We're a club.- Do you get paid?
0:00:14 > 0:00:16- No.- What's the point in doing it, then?
0:00:16 > 0:00:20Everyone should do it. You look like a healthy chap with your bike there.
0:00:20 > 0:00:24Sometimes when people get a bit older, they tend to veg by the telly, don't they?
0:00:24 > 0:00:26You should take your mum and dad on a ramble.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28My mum and dad climb mountains.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31Yeah, they say rambling's for pussies.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35Well, this walk has got a difficulty rating of 8.5.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37You can tell that to your parents!
0:00:37 > 0:00:41- Where's Tom? - I think he went to get a cup of tea.
0:00:41 > 0:00:45- Yeah?! Come on, then!- Right.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55Sorry, he's fine, he's with me.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58He's sorry. Thank you.
0:00:58 > 0:01:02It's a red mist again, Bob, it just came down, I couldn't help it.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04- What happened?- He jumped the queue.
0:01:04 > 0:01:07Or I did, I don't remember which way round.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16We're all here, you can start your little talk now, Bob.
0:01:16 > 0:01:21Thank you. Welcome, everybody, to today's walk, which is our yearly trip to the coast. Hooray!
0:01:21 > 0:01:27I know we've all been looking forward to this, and that's why I've prepared the route most carefully.
0:01:27 > 0:01:29- Here it is. On we go. - Er, hang on.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32That's the same walk we did last year.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34And we never even saw the sea, Dad.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37All the way to the south coast and we never saw the sea.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Yeah, we just kept looking for that burial mound thing.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44And you said the information board was wrong, and you made us write all those letters.
0:01:44 > 0:01:47Well, this was going to be a surprise for all of you,
0:01:47 > 0:01:52thank you for spoiling it, but because of those letters, drum roll...
0:01:52 > 0:01:56English Heritage have erected, drum roll...
0:01:56 > 0:01:59A brand new information board.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02And I knew how keen you'd all be to see it.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05Everyone wanted a coastal route, Bob.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Their expectations have been dashed upon the rocks of arrogance.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11This sort of thing's been showing up a lot in the surveys.
0:02:11 > 0:02:13Surveys?
0:02:13 > 0:02:17My anonymous survey, conducted amongst the group's membership.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21"The walk leader can be overbearing at times,
0:02:21 > 0:02:23"and is ignorant of basic foot care."
0:02:23 > 0:02:26I can't tell you who said that, it's anonymous.
0:02:26 > 0:02:30"He doesn't listen to me, or my husband, Joe." Again, anonymous.
0:02:30 > 0:02:36Well, we may not get to see the sea, but is that necessarily what a coastal walk is all about?
0:02:36 > 0:02:41Let's take a vote. Who wants to go and look at an old pile of earth like they did last year?
0:02:41 > 0:02:42- WHISTLE - Bias in the question.
0:02:42 > 0:02:48And who wants to go for a lovely walk along the delightful and beautiful English coastline?
0:02:48 > 0:02:52- Nobody, I should think. - Motion carried. Let's walk.
0:03:13 > 0:03:18I built this walk up from nothing to seven members in under six years,
0:03:18 > 0:03:21and she thinks she can come and take all that from me.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24- Is there something else, Dad? - No, there isn't.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28You look really upset, like when you've seen a famine on the news, or an apostrophe in the wrong place.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31All right, Hazel, yes, in fact there is something else.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34- I'm in a queue.- What for, Joe?
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Man Of Speed at Castle Donington.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40- Is this a me treat, an us treat, or a you treat?- You'll love it, Soph.
0:03:40 > 0:03:43They have to race a car, then a plane, and then a speedboat.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46It's like a triathlon for James Bond. There's bound to be a fatality.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50And if I book us in the VIP area, we get to meet Dizzee Rascal.
0:03:50 > 0:03:51Found any treasure yet, Tom?
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- Depends what you mean by treasure. - Well, what have you found?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56- Fridge freezer.- Not treasure.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58- Lilt can.- Not treasure.
0:03:58 > 0:03:59Half a Nokia like Bob used to have.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01- Not treasure.- 50p.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03- Well, that's a start.- Yeah.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07Well, it was already in my pocket, but I forgot it was in there, so that still counts.
0:04:07 > 0:04:11I reckon it's only a matter of time before I find a big load of gold, you know.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Like that bloke who was on the news, he was on the sick.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17You need a bit of money, don't you, if you're going to treat a lady.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19- Oh!- Any particular lady, Tom?
0:04:19 > 0:04:22Keira Knightley, Lily Cole, Kate Winslet?
0:04:22 > 0:04:27Or, like, all three of them welded together and stuffed inside a yellow anorak?
0:04:27 > 0:04:29I'm trying, I'm trying to concentrate.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Don't forget you've got to halve whatever you find with the landowner.
0:04:32 > 0:04:37What, so out of this half a Nokia, I've only actually got a quarter of a Nokia?
0:04:37 > 0:04:39Oh, what's the point?
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Hi, yeah, two tickets, please.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44No, it's from work, came this morning.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46They're making efficiency savings.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49I don't know for sure, but I might be one of them.
0:04:49 > 0:04:50It's not going to be that, is it, Dad?
0:04:50 > 0:04:52They'd get you in face to face if it was that.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Well, there's a bit of history between me and human resources.
0:04:55 > 0:05:00I might have said that if everyone does their job with a bit of care, their department's not needed.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02So, essentially, they're a waste of time and space.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Do they know you said that?
0:05:04 > 0:05:06I might've said it in a lift, yes.
0:05:06 > 0:05:10And at the sandwich shop. And at a Christmas party.
0:05:10 > 0:05:13Into a microphone. I'm 50, Hazel.
0:05:13 > 0:05:14If I lose this job, that's it.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17That's it for me.
0:05:17 > 0:05:21I don't get it, Soph. This one's declined, this one's declined.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22Let's just enjoy the walk.
0:05:22 > 0:05:27I've tried all the platinum ones. I'll have to go down to the gold ones now. It's just embarrassing.
0:05:27 > 0:05:30Hey, maybe our identity's been thefted, you know?
0:05:30 > 0:05:32Someone's had a look at our amazing lifestyle
0:05:32 > 0:05:36- and said, "I'm having some of that." - I stopped the credit cards, Joe.
0:05:36 > 0:05:40You know how hard it's been with the candle shops and with you...
0:05:40 > 0:05:42- not working.- Now, hang on...
0:05:42 > 0:05:46I know, I know, designing the games room is a job in itself, but...
0:05:46 > 0:05:49we've got to cut back, quite a lot.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52- You don't love me!- Oh... - That's it, you don't love me.
0:05:52 > 0:05:57Oh, of course I do. Money and love, they're not the same thing, you know?
0:05:57 > 0:05:59You're confusing me now with these...
0:05:59 > 0:06:03- Riddles.- I would love you, Joe, even if you were poor.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06Which, in a way, you are.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09But, Sophie, I have this nightmare,
0:06:09 > 0:06:14you and me, many years from now, side by side on our deathbeds,
0:06:14 > 0:06:20tears running down our faces because we never got to see men
0:06:20 > 0:06:24racing cars and planes and speedboats
0:06:24 > 0:06:27all in one earth-shattering day at Castle Donington.
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Sorry, Joe.
0:06:33 > 0:06:37Let's just open it, cos it won't be what you think it is, and then you can just relax.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39No, not now. I have to put personal stuff to one side.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42The walk leader is responsible for everything and everybody.
0:06:42 > 0:06:43No one else can do it.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46Everybody stop! Snack time.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48Sorry, what's all this?
0:06:48 > 0:06:52Protein balls. For energy and healthy toenail growth.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55Don't worry, they're on me. They were a massive hit in Barnstaple.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58Fudgy walnut or perky pecan, Tom?
0:06:58 > 0:07:00F-fudgy walnut, please.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- Thought as much.- They're like little poos of goodness.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05There's no metal in that.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10- Would you like one, Bob? - No, I'm good.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11- I think you should have one. - Not hungry.
0:07:11 > 0:07:15You look like you need one. They've got ginseng in them.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17That's nature's very own crystal meth.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19I'm fine.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25(Are you all right, Bob?)
0:07:25 > 0:07:27If there's anything wrong, Bob, you can tell us.
0:07:27 > 0:07:29I'm fine! Why wouldn't I be?
0:07:29 > 0:07:32It's summer in England. Life's so good, it's gone off the scale,
0:07:32 > 0:07:36come back round again into terrible, then carried on till it's good again.
0:07:36 > 0:07:38I've lapped myself! Oh, thank you.
0:07:38 > 0:07:41Mmm! Tasty and brown. Right, on we go, come on.
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Oh, look everybody, a red kite.
0:07:46 > 0:07:50Yeah, they've made a real comeback, like, like moleskin notebooks,
0:07:50 > 0:07:54except red kites aren't bought by idiots with too much money!
0:08:06 > 0:08:09So, er, it's a month since you promised me that kiss.
0:08:09 > 0:08:10I've got three days left, Victor.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12One or both of us could die before then.
0:08:12 > 0:08:16Whatever. I'm not on this walk just to follow you about anyway.
0:08:16 > 0:08:17It's going on my uni application form.
0:08:17 > 0:08:21- Turns out Xbox achievements, they don't count.- What the hell?- What?
0:08:21 > 0:08:23You've bought the same coat as me.
0:08:23 > 0:08:25I don't believe it. You've bought the same coat!
0:08:25 > 0:08:28Oh, yeah. Yeah, look at that, I did, didn't I?
0:08:28 > 0:08:31That is so...creepy!
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Romantic, I was going to say.
0:08:34 > 0:08:38Oh, my God, it is exactly the same.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40< GIRLS GIGGLE
0:08:43 > 0:08:46Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- Shit!- Was that Anna and that lot?
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Yes! And now they know that I'm a...
0:08:50 > 0:08:52rambler. Oh, my God!
0:08:52 > 0:08:55How do they know?
0:08:55 > 0:08:57How did they know I was here?
0:08:57 > 0:09:00No, now, I might've said to someone that I was in a walking club
0:09:00 > 0:09:04and there was someone else in it, but I never said who it was.
0:09:04 > 0:09:08- Not ever, not at all, except once. - Oh, my God!
0:09:08 > 0:09:10If you hadn't told all your friends you were working on some
0:09:10 > 0:09:13trendy fashion shoot, this would never have happened.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16If you'd said, "I'm a rambler, that's what I do,"
0:09:16 > 0:09:17they would've respected it.
0:09:17 > 0:09:20Might've even come along and caught the rambling bug.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Poor Victor, does he have to walk all the way back there?
0:09:22 > 0:09:25- Yes.- Victor, come up here!
0:09:25 > 0:09:26Back 30 metres!
0:09:26 > 0:09:30Please, if he's going to be exiled, can it at least be imperial?
0:09:30 > 0:09:3233 yards!
0:09:34 > 0:09:39Next week is going to be very difficult for you, Hazel. That photograph's going to be everywhere.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42But it might be a blessing.
0:09:42 > 0:09:45You'll discover who your real friends are.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47And it's us.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50We are your peer group now.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05METAL DETECTOR BUZZES
0:10:10 > 0:10:12Bob.
0:10:12 > 0:10:16Bob. Bob!
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Bob!
0:10:19 > 0:10:20Bob!
0:10:20 > 0:10:23BOB!
0:10:23 > 0:10:26- Bob!- What is it? What is it?!
0:10:26 > 0:10:27I've done it, Bob, I've found gold!
0:10:27 > 0:10:31Dreams can come true. I've finally made something of my life!
0:10:31 > 0:10:35- I've found gold! Ooh, it's got an inscription.- What does it say?
0:10:35 > 0:10:38"World's greatest golfer."
0:10:38 > 0:10:42This must've been left here years ago by the world's greatest golfer,
0:10:42 > 0:10:44and now I hold it in my hands.
0:10:44 > 0:10:48It's from the trophy shop, Thomas. The base is MDF.
0:10:48 > 0:10:49Is that not Roman MDF?
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Forgot your birthday last year, didn't I, Bob?
0:10:58 > 0:11:00- Yes.- Play a bit of golf, don't you?
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Once or twice a year.
0:11:05 > 0:11:07Happy birthday, Bob.
0:11:09 > 0:11:10Open it.
0:11:17 > 0:11:18Thank you.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Now, who's for a smoothie?
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Now, who's going to take one to Victor?
0:11:32 > 0:11:33I will.
0:11:37 > 0:11:38Thanks.
0:11:39 > 0:11:44Just checking you're OK after, you know, last time.
0:11:44 > 0:11:46- Bit weird, wasn't it?- Yeah.
0:11:46 > 0:11:50Just wanted to make sure you haven't fallen madly in love with me or anything.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53No, no, it was just a kiss. Wasn't much.
0:11:53 > 0:11:59You're not a bit obsessed and you don't think about me when you...
0:11:59 > 0:12:00- you...you know?- No.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06- Enjoy your smoothie.- Thanks.
0:12:15 > 0:12:20Smoothies?! I don't know how you can sit there and drink them, or is it eat them?
0:12:20 > 0:12:24Are they a liquid or solid? I don't know. The point is, they're tainted!
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Oh, no, I'm sure she's washed her hands, Bob.
0:12:26 > 0:12:30They're bribes! Do you not see, do none of you see what she's doing?
0:12:30 > 0:12:33She's spending more and more money to buy you.
0:12:33 > 0:12:37Rambling shouldn't cost a fortune, it's the people's pastime, anyone can do it.
0:12:37 > 0:12:42Even people like Tom, right at the bottom of the pile, no job,
0:12:42 > 0:12:46no house, totally washed up, they can still do it. No offence, Tom.
0:12:46 > 0:12:47That's all right.
0:12:47 > 0:12:51Why don't you tell us what's really bothering you?
0:12:51 > 0:12:54- Cos we can all see it's something. - Nothing to discuss.
0:12:54 > 0:12:59Maybe someone else should take over leadership of the group, take the pressure off you, temporarily.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Yeah, now it comes. Now it comes, yeah.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03And if I say no?
0:13:03 > 0:13:05- I don't wish to invoke the emergency powers.- Emergency powers?
0:13:05 > 0:13:08They were suggested by someone in the anonymous surveys.
0:13:08 > 0:13:12Ah, the backpackzilla demographic, the rucksackosaurus group?
0:13:12 > 0:13:15You know I can't possibly divulge that information.
0:13:15 > 0:13:20But they do state that if the group leader becomes incapacitated due to injury, senility...
0:13:20 > 0:13:25- Senility?!- Mental instability, death, or partial death, then the deputy leader
0:13:25 > 0:13:30assumes control until fair and free elections can take place.
0:13:30 > 0:13:35- OK. Victor. - WHISTLE
0:13:35 > 0:13:36Everyone.
0:13:45 > 0:13:49If you want to be in a walking club with me,
0:13:49 > 0:13:51it's this side of the line.
0:13:53 > 0:13:56If you want to be in Christine's club...
0:13:59 > 0:14:01Is this really what you want, Bob?
0:14:01 > 0:14:06Life's not a Word document, there's no "undo" button.
0:14:06 > 0:14:09Thank you, Hazel. Good man, Victor.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16It's nothing personal, Bob.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18- It's just you do our heads in.- Tom?
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Do what you want to do, Tom.
0:14:24 > 0:14:27You live in the back of my car, Tom. Later on, I'm driving home.
0:14:27 > 0:14:30Also, it's not too late to tell the Army where you live.
0:14:30 > 0:14:33Don't let that influence your decision.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46It's all right, Tom. I understand.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Right.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51BOB AND CHRISTINE: Let's walk.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05We can't walk together.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07You'll want to take that path.
0:15:07 > 0:15:08That's where the pub is.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Don't tell me what I want.
0:15:10 > 0:15:15You take that path, and I'd like it noted, for the record, that I didn't even know that there was a pub.
0:15:15 > 0:15:16You said it had three guest ales.
0:15:16 > 0:15:21And the oldest boot scraper in Dorset, but I didn't know that.
0:15:23 > 0:15:25We can do what we like now, can't we?
0:15:25 > 0:15:27- Without Bob.- Yeah. We've got a bit more freedom...
0:15:27 > 0:15:32WHISTLE Admire the mighty ocean.
0:15:35 > 0:15:37WHISTLE And continue.
0:15:41 > 0:15:45Ah, this is better, this is what it's all about, isn't it?
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Ah, hello to you.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49We are a brand new rambling club.
0:15:49 > 0:15:52Would you care to join us? Got to be fun though, only fun people allowed.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55If you're just going to breeze in and make up a lot of rules
0:15:55 > 0:15:58and survey everyone, then you are not welcome.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01I sort of preferred it when everyone was together, Bob.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05Well, I suppose Joe and Sophie aren't so bad. Decent sorts, really.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07Of course, they're dead to me now.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10# The light dragoon came over the hill
0:16:10 > 0:16:12# The moon was shining clearly
0:16:12 > 0:16:15# There was a little woman And she knew him by his horse
0:16:15 > 0:16:17# Because she loved him dearly
0:16:17 > 0:16:20# Dearly, so dearly Oh, she loved him dearly... #
0:16:20 > 0:16:24I've been thinking, babes. You're right,
0:16:24 > 0:16:27I spend too much money, what can I say?
0:16:27 > 0:16:31Maybe it's time I started earning too.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Oh, Joe, that's great.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35You know Simon up in Hemel?
0:16:35 > 0:16:38- Yeah. - Who does the male escort thing?
0:16:38 > 0:16:43Well, he said a lot of women would go for this.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47He could throw some work my way. I mean it's not something I want to do, but I'd do it, for us.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49You're not going to be a male escort, Joe.
0:16:49 > 0:16:52Fine, fine, I tried, I tried to contribute, but no.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54- You have to be control. - You knew I'd say no.
0:16:54 > 0:16:57Just don't say I didn't try and find work.
0:16:57 > 0:17:00You should set up your own business, Joe, like Sophie.
0:17:00 > 0:17:02Oh, God, she heard all that.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Know a lot about that sort of thing then, do you?
0:17:04 > 0:17:08This is awful, Christine, but we don't actually know what it is you do.
0:17:08 > 0:17:09I'm self-employed.
0:17:09 > 0:17:12I clean vomit, faeces and urine off coloured plastic balls.
0:17:12 > 0:17:14Wow, that's a dream, isn't it?
0:17:14 > 0:17:17Children's soft play is a growing market, Joe.
0:17:17 > 0:17:18I've several teams working for me now.
0:17:18 > 0:17:22- What do you get for that sort of thing then?- Honestly, Joe!
0:17:22 > 0:17:23We don't need to go into that.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Not much to shout about then.
0:17:25 > 0:17:28Last year I paid myself £173,000 before tax.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30That's more than you, Soph!
0:17:30 > 0:17:34Recession or no recession, children will always poo their pants.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38Ah, you know how I feel, for the first time in a long time?
0:17:38 > 0:17:44Free! You and me, Tom, we can go to Scotland and walk anything that says "Ben" on the front.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48I'll have more spare time soon, haven't got some walk-hating wife to hold me back any more,
0:17:48 > 0:17:52and you're not going to get some woman to slow you down, are you, Tom, eh?
0:17:52 > 0:17:57Yes, you and me, Tom, we are single for the duration.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00And that's fine by us.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Bob, there's somewhere I've got to go.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Someone I've got to see.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10Tom?
0:18:10 > 0:18:15But you're with me, Tom. Tom!
0:18:15 > 0:18:16Tom!
0:18:21 > 0:18:23That's all right, leave me alone.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Everyone else does.
0:18:45 > 0:18:49Excuse me, you can only eat food that has been produced on the premises.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51Oh.
0:18:51 > 0:18:55Sophie, may I buy your sandwiches, please?
0:18:55 > 0:18:58Yes, that will be £2, please.
0:18:58 > 0:19:02- There you go. - There you are.- Thank you.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Bloody ramblers!
0:19:11 > 0:19:13Tom. >
0:19:15 > 0:19:16Christine,
0:19:16 > 0:19:20can we go somewhere privately so I can speak to you in private, please?
0:19:20 > 0:19:23Of course.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28There.
0:19:39 > 0:19:46Christine, I have been searching for treasure all day, but I realise I have already found my treasure.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49METAL DETECTOR BUZZES
0:19:49 > 0:19:52It is you.
0:19:52 > 0:19:57- Oh, Tom.- I'd like to dig you up, wipe you down and keep you.
0:19:57 > 0:20:00And I don't want to share you with the landowner.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Unless you're into that sort of shit, I don't...
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Victor...
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Victor! Victor!
0:20:36 > 0:20:38- What?- Victor!- What!?
0:20:38 > 0:20:41- Victor!- What? What do you want?
0:20:41 > 0:20:42Victor!
0:20:49 > 0:20:51- She said she'll see how it goes. - Oh, that's lovely.- Where's Dad?
0:20:51 > 0:20:54- Is Dad here?- No.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56What's happened?
0:20:56 > 0:21:03Dear Bob Stevens, we regret to inform you that your employment will end on the 24th of June.
0:21:03 > 0:21:05The Human Resources Department, however, will
0:21:05 > 0:21:08continue its invaluable work long into the future.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10I found on the path. He was terrified of this happening and now I don't know where he is.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14- What if he's done something stupid? - Like start up a walking club?
0:21:16 > 0:21:17Sorry.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20- Dad! - Bob?- Bob! Bob!
0:21:20 > 0:21:24- Bobby!- Dad!- Bobby!
0:21:24 > 0:21:28- Look, Dad's not here. - Right, there are high cliffs here,
0:21:28 > 0:21:30here and here, so these are the points we need to cover.
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Hazel, you are Red Team, you will take that point.
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Joe, you are Orange Team, you will take that point.
0:21:34 > 0:21:37Um, we're not actually that far from the Bronze Age burial...
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Will you stop going on about the Bronze Age burial mound!
0:21:39 > 0:21:41You're as bad as...
0:21:41 > 0:21:43Bob.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Ah.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Hello!
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Gold Team, this is Indigo Team.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19Inform Red Team Scarecrow has been located.
0:22:19 > 0:22:21Scarecrow is secure, over.
0:22:21 > 0:22:24- Scarecrow?- No, Red Team is Hazel...
0:22:24 > 0:22:27Green team is... There is no Purple Team!
0:22:27 > 0:22:31Oh, just tell everyone! Right.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33Oh, Bob!
0:22:36 > 0:22:40This is quite frustrating for me, because I do actually have a selection of survival blankets.
0:22:40 > 0:22:43But they're all in my rucksack, which is abandoned.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Oh, just bury me with my treasure.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48Have you seen the new information board?
0:22:48 > 0:22:49A new factual error.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51Sign says it is chambered cairn.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Any idiot knows it's a long barrow.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55All those letters, a complete waste of time.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58And someone's written "Matt is gay" on it.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01Well, it's none of my business if he is or he isn't, but it's hardly relevant to the subject matter.
0:23:01 > 0:23:06Still, 100 years from now, that board will be my only memorial.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09Come on, Bob.
0:23:09 > 0:23:14Lost my wife, lost my job, my daughter's going to move away the first chance she gets.
0:23:14 > 0:23:16Not a lot left.
0:23:16 > 0:23:18There's still the Walk Club.
0:23:18 > 0:23:21WalkING Club!
0:23:24 > 0:23:27Oh, do you know, I always thought
0:23:27 > 0:23:31I'd meet my next wife through this club. I told my first wife that.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33She was not amused.
0:23:33 > 0:23:38Then when someone does come along you actually have something in common with,
0:23:38 > 0:23:43I don't know, I find ways to argue with her.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46And soon enough it's too late.
0:23:49 > 0:23:52Bob!
0:23:52 > 0:23:53Bob! Bob!
0:23:53 > 0:23:56Oh.
0:23:56 > 0:23:58Oh, no! No, stay with us, Bob.
0:23:58 > 0:24:02No, ow! I'm fine! I'm fine!
0:24:02 > 0:24:05You saved him! Thank you!
0:24:07 > 0:24:11- Where did you get the bike from, Tom?- Oi, wanker!
0:24:16 > 0:24:20It's fine, he's with me. He's very sorry!
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Dad!
0:24:22 > 0:24:25It's me that's supposed to frighten you!
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Come on.
0:24:40 > 0:24:42Maybe I'm over-reacting about Hannah and that.
0:24:42 > 0:24:47I mean, Monday will be bad, but it'll be fine after that.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48Hazel, there's loads of your friends here!
0:24:50 > 0:24:53It's going to be a firing squad of bitches.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55- Shouldn't be too many, though. - There's probably 20 of them.
0:24:55 > 0:24:59This is great, Hazel. This is it, they're catching the bug!
0:24:59 > 0:25:01You could make it easier.
0:25:01 > 0:25:05- How?- If you go out first and just say that I'm obsessed and following you about,
0:25:05 > 0:25:08- and you never asked me to come.- Which is true.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12Just put it all on me and then I'll come out and soak it up. I'm used to it.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14And you'd be OK with that?
0:25:14 > 0:25:17You've got another year with these people.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25Come on, Mr Muscle.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Hazel!
0:25:29 > 0:25:31- Like your socks! - Are those Jimmy Choos?
0:25:33 > 0:25:37Yeah, I lied. I'm sorry. But I can't apologise for being what I am.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41I'm a rambler. This is Victor. He walks with me. Get over it.
0:25:42 > 0:25:43ALL SCREAM
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Bye, Bob!
0:26:00 > 0:26:04- I've been a bit out of line, haven't I, lately?- A bit.
0:26:04 > 0:26:06I found those DVDs.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10- The ones you keep in the spare room. - Ah...
0:26:10 > 0:26:12I just don't get it.
0:26:12 > 0:26:15They repeat Top Gear on Dave all the time. Why?
0:26:15 > 0:26:17For the extras! Come on, Soph.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20They crash a tractor - twice!
0:26:32 > 0:26:35Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to whisk you away.
0:26:35 > 0:26:37Are you, now?
0:26:37 > 0:26:40Yeah, Gatwick.
0:26:40 > 0:26:43- And then where?- Oh, just Gatwick.
0:26:43 > 0:26:45There's a baggage handlers' strike coming up.
0:26:45 > 0:26:49They give out free food and stuff. They don't even check if you've got a ticket. I did it for a week once.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Another one of them? OK.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08Do you still want this, Bob?
0:27:08 > 0:27:09Yes, I do.
0:27:22 > 0:27:26Bob Stevens, you couldn't break Article 3, Clause 1
0:27:26 > 0:27:29of the Countryside Code any more than I could.
0:27:29 > 0:27:31I've been a rambler for 30 years.
0:27:31 > 0:27:34I think I'm allowed one piece of litter in that time, don't you?
0:27:34 > 0:27:35I suppose so.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:09 > 0:28:10E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk