Episode 1

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0:00:15 > 0:00:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:17 > 0:00:20Hello!

0:00:20 > 0:00:25Hello, everybody! Hello, good evening. Welcome to The Guess List.

0:00:25 > 0:00:30If you like game shows with celebrities and exciting prizes, you're in luck.

0:00:30 > 0:00:33If you like ballroom dancing, I'm sorry. Come back in the autumn.

0:00:33 > 0:00:35Let's meet the guests.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38What the Dickens? It's Simon Callow!

0:00:38 > 0:00:41CHEERING

0:00:42 > 0:00:46She's a fox. No, she really is. Emilia Fox!

0:00:46 > 0:00:48CHEERING

0:00:48 > 0:00:51I taught him everything I know. James Corden!

0:00:51 > 0:00:54CHEERING

0:00:56 > 0:00:58He has more silver than a fortune-teller's palm,

0:00:58 > 0:01:01- Louis Smith! - CHEERING

0:01:01 > 0:01:06And I've always wanted to say this: she's absolutely fabulous -

0:01:06 > 0:01:09- Jennifer Saunders! - CHEERING

0:01:16 > 0:01:22Wow, look at that! Look at that, eh?!

0:01:22 > 0:01:25Where else are you going to see a line-up like that?

0:01:25 > 0:01:27Who said "UK Gold"?

0:01:27 > 0:01:30LAUGHTER

0:01:30 > 0:01:31Louis Smith. Welcome, Louis.

0:01:31 > 0:01:35- CHEERING - Good to see you. Welcome.- Thank you.

0:01:35 > 0:01:40I'm going to come out and say it. You did us proud in the Olympics.

0:01:40 > 0:01:43- Didn't he? - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:01:43 > 0:01:46Two medals, which is a remarkable achievement.

0:01:46 > 0:01:50More remarkable - winning them in East London

0:01:50 > 0:01:54and getting home still with them. Incredible. Incredible.

0:01:54 > 0:01:58And do you know what? It's lovely to see you in your clothes.

0:01:58 > 0:01:59Take a look at this.

0:01:59 > 0:02:00AUDIENCE WHOOPS

0:02:02 > 0:02:07- Now, that was for...?- Strictly. - Strictly Come Dancing, OK.

0:02:07 > 0:02:08Well, better you than Len Goodman.

0:02:10 > 0:02:13- Emilia Fox, how lovely! - APPLAUSE

0:02:15 > 0:02:18How lovely to be this close to a fox

0:02:18 > 0:02:20and not worry it's going to sniff round your bins.

0:02:20 > 0:02:21LAUGHTER

0:02:25 > 0:02:29Have you ever...? You ever done a real autopsy?

0:02:29 > 0:02:32Cos obviously on Silent Witness, that's not real, is it?

0:02:32 > 0:02:33Please tell me it's not real.

0:02:33 > 0:02:37- Well, come and find out. - No, there's no way!

0:02:37 > 0:02:40I only say it because, and this'll sound odd to you,

0:02:40 > 0:02:42I'd love you to do mine.

0:02:42 > 0:02:44LAUGHTER

0:02:46 > 0:02:48I would.

0:02:48 > 0:02:52Isn't it a strange thing to know who you'd like to do your autopsy?

0:02:52 > 0:02:56I would love Emilia Fox. I would. Have a little rummage in Rob.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59I'd have a little rummage ON Rob first before I went INTO Rob.

0:02:59 > 0:03:02AUDIENCE: Oooh!

0:03:02 > 0:03:05If you've been affected by any of the issues raised...

0:03:05 > 0:03:07LAUGHTER

0:03:07 > 0:03:11- What does that mean?- Well, you have a bit of a fondle first before you...

0:03:11 > 0:03:13No, you don't!

0:03:13 > 0:03:16Do you know what? I take back what I said.

0:03:16 > 0:03:19When I die, do not go near me.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22My dear, dear, dear friend.

0:03:22 > 0:03:26- How lovely to see you!- How are you, Rob? Thank you for having me.

0:03:26 > 0:03:27APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

0:03:27 > 0:03:32We go back, so far back. I gave birth to James... When was it?

0:03:32 > 0:03:35- How long ago was it? - It was 35 years ago now, Rob.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37- Wasn't an easy birth, was it?- No.

0:03:37 > 0:03:40With hindsight, I should've gone for a Caesarean, but there we are.

0:03:42 > 0:03:44Now, we were talking about sport with Louis.

0:03:44 > 0:03:47- Yes.- You've been involved with Sport Relief.

0:03:47 > 0:03:49Yeah, I've done some things for it, yes.

0:03:49 > 0:03:51A lot of things for Sport Relief. And we think about some of the

0:03:51 > 0:03:56wonderful, memorable fundraisers, the water-based fundraisers.

0:03:56 > 0:03:58- John Bishop...- Yep. - ..rowed across the Channel.- Mm-hm.

0:03:58 > 0:04:02- Walliams swam up the Thames.- Yeah.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05You did something - a very special water-based challenge.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07Let's have a look.

0:04:07 > 0:04:10LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:04:11 > 0:04:14- We often bathe together. - You do?- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:04:14 > 0:04:17I was inches from Golden Balls.

0:04:17 > 0:04:19LAUGHTER

0:04:19 > 0:04:22- Simon Callow - welcome. - APPLAUSE

0:04:22 > 0:04:26Welcome, sir. Welcome. How about this?

0:04:26 > 0:04:29I'm going to come out and say it.

0:04:29 > 0:04:32- Oh, right.- I loved you in Four Weddings.- Thank you.

0:04:32 > 0:04:34I did. I laughed all the way through.

0:04:34 > 0:04:37I mean, not the bit where you had the heart attack and you died,

0:04:37 > 0:04:42not that moment. Sorry, spoiler alert.

0:04:42 > 0:04:44This does give me a lovely opportunity to do this:

0:04:44 > 0:04:48- IN HUGH GRANT ACCENT:- Er, gosh! Crikey... Crikey...

0:04:48 > 0:04:51- I'm doing Hugh Grant. - APPLAUSE

0:04:52 > 0:04:57And ladies and gentlemen, how excited am I?

0:04:57 > 0:04:59Dawn French is with us!

0:04:59 > 0:05:01APPLAUSE

0:05:02 > 0:05:05- Oh, yes!- I speak for everyone when I say

0:05:05 > 0:05:07I love The Vicar Of Dibley.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09- Are you going to do more?- No.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12- You're not? - It's just been cancelled.

0:05:12 > 0:05:15Oh, no! Ladies and gentlemen, Jennifer Saunders.

0:05:15 > 0:05:16APPLAUSE

0:05:18 > 0:05:20Right. Those are the guests,

0:05:20 > 0:05:24let's go and meet the victims... er, contestants!

0:05:24 > 0:05:26Please say hello to Ben and Shirley.

0:05:26 > 0:05:27APPLAUSE

0:05:29 > 0:05:31Now, then.

0:05:32 > 0:05:33I'll start with you, Ben.

0:05:33 > 0:05:38- It's lovely to meet you, lovely to see you. I'm loving the hair. - Thank you.

0:05:38 > 0:05:40I'm loving it. I mean, if I did that,

0:05:40 > 0:05:43that would take me up to, what? Five foot four?

0:05:43 > 0:05:45It's Ben. Where are you from?

0:05:45 > 0:05:46I'm from Woking in Surrey.

0:05:46 > 0:05:50And you have a very interesting work set-up, don't you?

0:05:50 > 0:05:53Yeah, I got two jobs. My main job is a prison officer,

0:05:53 > 0:05:56and I also work part-time as a theatre usher.

0:05:56 > 0:05:57LAUGHTER

0:05:57 > 0:06:02They're two jobs you don't want to get confused, do you?

0:06:02 > 0:06:04You don't want to be working as an usher...

0:06:04 > 0:06:07- GRUFF LONDON ACCENT:- "Lights out! Pantomime - now!"

0:06:08 > 0:06:12Then strip-searching entire families for Maltesers, it would be horrible.

0:06:12 > 0:06:16Back at the prison handing out tubs of rum and raisin to the murderers.

0:06:16 > 0:06:18I mean, it could be awful!

0:06:18 > 0:06:20Sitting next to you is the lovely Shirley.

0:06:20 > 0:06:22- Hello, Rob.- Hello.

0:06:22 > 0:06:26Somebody is looking mighty fine tonight.

0:06:26 > 0:06:29I think it's the tie, actually, just lifts my face, doesn't it?

0:06:29 > 0:06:32- Where are you from? - Little Aston which is Birmingham.

0:06:32 > 0:06:36We're lucky to have you with us, aren't we? Cos you're not going to be with us much longer.

0:06:36 > 0:06:39Whoa, whoa! No. No, no.

0:06:39 > 0:06:41She hasn't got anything.

0:06:41 > 0:06:43But you are off, you're travelling.

0:06:43 > 0:06:47- Yeah, going to emigrate to Australia.- Emigrating to Australia!

0:06:47 > 0:06:50Oh, it's like the programme on in the morning

0:06:50 > 0:06:52for the unemployed and students, isn't it, you know.

0:06:52 > 0:06:53Starting Afresh.

0:06:53 > 0:06:56- What's that called, that programme? - Wanted Down Under.

0:06:56 > 0:07:00My uncle Geffen was wanted down under. But that's a different story.

0:07:00 > 0:07:03Still on the run, we don't know where he is.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06So what happened? You went over to Australia, you liked what you saw?

0:07:06 > 0:07:09No, we never visited. we watched Wanted Down Under,

0:07:09 > 0:07:11and we thought it looked quite nice, so...

0:07:11 > 0:07:13LAUGHTER

0:07:14 > 0:07:20You saw it on the television and decided to leave your family,

0:07:20 > 0:07:24your friends... You weren't watching Neighbours, were you,

0:07:24 > 0:07:26cos you know that's fiction?

0:07:26 > 0:07:28- Which part are you going to?- Perth.

0:07:28 > 0:07:30A lot of dangerous things there, be careful.

0:07:30 > 0:07:34If Ben went, I'd say, "Go and take a chance, swim."

0:07:34 > 0:07:36I tell you what, if you were swimming,

0:07:36 > 0:07:38and you were just under the water...

0:07:39 > 0:07:42- ..they'd be out of the sea like a shot! - APPLAUSE

0:07:44 > 0:07:45Ladies and gentlemen, Ben and Shirley.

0:07:45 > 0:07:47APPLAUSE

0:07:48 > 0:07:51Now then, here's how it works, OK?

0:07:51 > 0:07:55I'm going to ask you some questions based on life in the UK.

0:07:55 > 0:07:59Our famous five over here are going to have a guess to try to help you.

0:07:59 > 0:08:04Now, you don't have to go with what they say, you can go your own way if you wish.

0:08:04 > 0:08:09And the contestant who does the best will go on for a chance to play for a lovely prize. OK?

0:08:09 > 0:08:14For you, very simple, just see what you think the right answer is and write it down. OK?

0:08:14 > 0:08:18- Ben, you're first.- OK. - Question number one, here it is:

0:08:28 > 0:08:30Tell you what I do.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32I drink the blood of virgins.

0:08:34 > 0:08:35Works for me.

0:08:35 > 0:08:39Been doing it since my early 80s.

0:08:39 > 0:08:40Louis, a thing I didn't know about you -

0:08:40 > 0:08:46Louis auditioned for the X Factor. Now, when was this?

0:08:46 > 0:08:49- When was this, Louis?- It's a myth.

0:08:49 > 0:08:51It's not a myth, it's a fact.

0:08:51 > 0:08:53What did you sing, Louis? What did you sing?

0:08:53 > 0:08:57- I tried to sing Shai, If I Ever.- Shai? What is that?

0:08:57 > 0:08:59Do it now. It goes...

0:08:59 > 0:09:01- JAMES HUMS:- # Hmm, ba-da-da-do da-do

0:09:01 > 0:09:03JAMES AND LOUIS: # Hmm, ba-da-da-do da-do

0:09:03 > 0:09:05- ROB:- # Ma-na-ma-na, bah...

0:09:05 > 0:09:08LOUIS: # The very first time I saw your brown eyes

0:09:08 > 0:09:12- # Your lips hello and I said hi - Hmm, ba-da-da-do da-do

0:09:12 > 0:09:15# I knew right then you were the one

0:09:15 > 0:09:17# Hmm, ba-da-da-do da-do...

0:09:17 > 0:09:19CHEERING

0:09:19 > 0:09:21JAMES AND LOUIS: # In physical attraction

0:09:21 > 0:09:24RHYTHMIC CLAPPING # But to my satisfaction

0:09:24 > 0:09:28# Baby, you were more than just a friend

0:09:28 > 0:09:31# And if you... # No.

0:09:31 > 0:09:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:09:41 > 0:09:44If I'd known you were going to be that good, I'd never have asked.

0:09:47 > 0:09:50Oh. James, James, James. What should they do?

0:09:50 > 0:09:54What should they do three times a week to keep them looking younger?

0:09:54 > 0:09:57You want my answer? Is that what...?

0:09:57 > 0:09:59Having read it, yes, I do.

0:09:59 > 0:10:03James cuts to the chase, and he says:

0:10:05 > 0:10:06APPLAUSE

0:10:09 > 0:10:13- Orgasm.- Don't you think?

0:10:13 > 0:10:17- SQUEAKY VOICE:- "Don't you think?" I've gone even higher!

0:10:17 > 0:10:20Well, I do, when it's delicate matters.

0:10:20 > 0:10:23But I believe in the power of it, Rob,

0:10:23 > 0:10:25and you know that for a fact.

0:10:25 > 0:10:26LAUGHTER

0:10:28 > 0:10:32Once again, the safe haven... of Callow Bay.

0:10:32 > 0:10:36I'll tell you what, you are refreshing

0:10:36 > 0:10:40because you are a man who is ageing with no vanity. No vanity.

0:10:40 > 0:10:45No, no - you are letting nature take its course. You...

0:10:45 > 0:10:47I mean, Emilia,

0:10:47 > 0:10:50how long after death normally would a body look like this?

0:10:50 > 0:10:54Simon Callow, when asked the question:

0:10:56 > 0:10:59He says:

0:10:59 > 0:11:03OK, hang on. To drink it or dance it?

0:11:03 > 0:11:05- So this is the...- Yeah.

0:11:05 > 0:11:09- Do you tango?- Yeah. And look(!) - LAUGHTER

0:11:09 > 0:11:12Are you sure it's a good idea?

0:11:12 > 0:11:16Come and show me. Come and show me how to tango. Come on, Simon.

0:11:16 > 0:11:18Come on! Get over here. Come on, man! What's the matter with you?

0:11:18 > 0:11:21- This'll be good. - This will be terrible!

0:11:21 > 0:11:23This will be good. It'd better be, we haven't given you a fee, yet.

0:11:23 > 0:11:26Come on. Oh, careful, careful.

0:11:26 > 0:11:30OK. Now then, what's the basics?

0:11:30 > 0:11:32- I have no idea! - LAUGHTER

0:11:33 > 0:11:35Whoa, whoa, whoa!

0:11:35 > 0:11:38I said, I clearly said, "What should they do?"

0:11:38 > 0:11:41He, that clapped-out old thespian, said...

0:11:41 > 0:11:45- IN SIMON CALLOW ACCENT: - I think they should tango, Rob.

0:11:45 > 0:11:50I said, "Do you tango?" He said, "Yes!"

0:11:51 > 0:11:53You bloody liar!

0:11:55 > 0:11:59- Can you or can you not tango? - I can't.

0:11:59 > 0:12:02Sit down! Get back! Sit down!

0:12:03 > 0:12:04APPLAUSE

0:12:12 > 0:12:15Just to be clear, you can gymnast, yes?

0:12:16 > 0:12:21- And tango.- And tango? Could you show me?- I could show you a little.

0:12:21 > 0:12:22CHEERING

0:12:25 > 0:12:27All right.

0:12:27 > 0:12:29My God, what happened to your trousers?

0:12:31 > 0:12:33Were you attacked on the way here?

0:12:34 > 0:12:38What do we do? Can I ask, who am I? Don't say Anton du Beke.

0:12:38 > 0:12:42- Yes! You can be Flavia. - So, am I the woman?

0:12:42 > 0:12:45- Yeah.- All right.- So get nice and close, all right?

0:12:45 > 0:12:50- Not that close, not that close! - How close?- There's fine.- All right.

0:12:50 > 0:12:53- Right. Now, take this leg.- What?

0:12:53 > 0:12:56Take this leg. No, no!

0:12:56 > 0:13:00- So, your right foot.- Yes? - Put behind you.- Right.

0:13:00 > 0:13:03- That's it, and then step through with the other foot.- Sorry, what?

0:13:03 > 0:13:04Yeah, and then step forward

0:13:04 > 0:13:05- with the same foot.- Yeah.

0:13:05 > 0:13:07- And then back again.- Yeah.

0:13:07 > 0:13:08And then a head flick.

0:13:08 > 0:13:11Oh! OK, OK. So...

0:13:11 > 0:13:13- Yeah.- And what's the rhythm?

0:13:13 > 0:13:16- Er...- Cos the rhythm is going to get you.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18Dun-dun-dun-dun, dun-dun-dun.

0:13:18 > 0:13:22- OK. One, two, three, four. - Dun-dun-dun-dun, dun-dun-dun.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24No, I went wrong, I went wrong!

0:13:24 > 0:13:27- APPLAUSE - No, no, no, no. Do not patronise.

0:13:28 > 0:13:33I'm going to get this. Nobody puts baby in the corner.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35LOUIS: Right, you ready?

0:13:35 > 0:13:38ROB HUMS "LA CUMPARSITA"

0:13:38 > 0:13:40- Oh! - CHEERING

0:13:42 > 0:13:46Thank you, Louis. Thank you. Come on. Good man. Louis Smith!

0:13:46 > 0:13:48APPLAUSE

0:13:51 > 0:13:53Do you have any lies you want to spin, Jennifer?

0:13:57 > 0:13:59Jennifer says...

0:13:59 > 0:14:02- have a strong face peel and don't wear specs.- And don't wear specs.

0:14:02 > 0:14:05Is it like Silence Of The Lambs? I mean, what do you mean?

0:14:05 > 0:14:07I thought, have a strong face peel.

0:14:07 > 0:14:08You know, if you are serious about it,

0:14:08 > 0:14:12spread a light chemical on your face and your skin comes off.

0:14:12 > 0:14:15So I'm told. I have no idea!

0:14:15 > 0:14:17All right.

0:14:17 > 0:14:19It's not going to be that.

0:14:20 > 0:14:24Louis, Louis, Louis... Oh! Interesting, let's take a look.

0:14:24 > 0:14:25Louis says...

0:14:26 > 0:14:28..power walk.

0:14:28 > 0:14:32That's good, because the oldies, you know, Simon, the oldies,

0:14:32 > 0:14:33they can't go jogging,

0:14:33 > 0:14:36- so it's just getting the heart going, isn't it?- Yeah.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38And, hey, Emilia Fox, she says...

0:14:38 > 0:14:40exercise.

0:14:40 > 0:14:42I haven't specified what kind of exercise.

0:14:42 > 0:14:45Is it more in line with Mr Corden?

0:14:45 > 0:14:46LAUGHTER

0:14:46 > 0:14:52- SQUEAKY VOICE:- I'm James Corden, welcome to my five-minute orgasm workout.

0:14:52 > 0:14:53APPLAUSE

0:14:55 > 0:14:58OK, so let's take a look at all those answers together now, then.

0:14:58 > 0:15:01There they are, there's your guess list.

0:15:01 > 0:15:03Now, what a collection!

0:15:03 > 0:15:06Tempted by any of those?

0:15:06 > 0:15:09I'm going to go with Emilia and say exercise.

0:15:09 > 0:15:12Personally, I think that's the most likely. All right, here we go.

0:15:12 > 0:15:14What should older people do to look younger?

0:15:14 > 0:15:16The actual answer is...

0:15:16 > 0:15:18LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:15:27 > 0:15:31I owe you... I owe you a huge apology.

0:15:31 > 0:15:35Don't let it be said I don't know what the older generation needs!

0:15:35 > 0:15:37LAUGHTER

0:15:37 > 0:15:42James Corden, keeping older ladies happy for...

0:15:42 > 0:15:43WOMAN LAUGHS

0:15:43 > 0:15:46- Ooh! Particularly that one!- Yeah.

0:15:46 > 0:15:48Yes, having sex.

0:15:48 > 0:15:52According to the survey, regular sex also helps keep you fit,

0:15:52 > 0:15:55lifts your mood, reduces your stress and prolongs your life...

0:15:55 > 0:15:59although it can alarm some of the other shoppers in Waitrose.

0:15:59 > 0:16:00LAUGHTER

0:16:00 > 0:16:04Ben, wrong, I'm afraid. No points awarded.

0:16:04 > 0:16:08Shirley, your chance to get a point. Here we go, your question.

0:16:08 > 0:16:11According to a recent survey... I think...

0:16:11 > 0:16:14It needs to be up longer than that, I'll be honest.

0:16:14 > 0:16:18- LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE - I mean, I'm fast...

0:16:20 > 0:16:23Do they save money if it's only up for a while?

0:16:23 > 0:16:26OK, Shirley, let's take a look at your question.

0:16:35 > 0:16:38I'd be very uncomfortable on a dating website.

0:16:38 > 0:16:40Our computer is in the living room.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42LAUGHTER

0:16:42 > 0:16:46Right, Louis, internet dating. Ever done it?

0:16:46 > 0:16:48No...ish...

0:16:48 > 0:16:52- What, you have?! - AUDIENCE WHOOPS

0:16:52 > 0:16:54Sometimes I can get bored, you know...

0:16:54 > 0:16:56Hang on a minute, think before you speak.

0:16:56 > 0:16:58LAUGHTER

0:16:58 > 0:17:01Yeah, we're not talking about sex chat.

0:17:01 > 0:17:05That's something else, isn't it, James? That's something else.

0:17:05 > 0:17:09All right, Emilia. I'm coming back to look at that in a minute.

0:17:09 > 0:17:12- Somebody told me you have a tattoo. - I do have it a tattoo.

0:17:12 > 0:17:14Where is your tattoo? Where is it?

0:17:16 > 0:17:17That's barely a tattoo. Show it to...

0:17:17 > 0:17:20- What do you mean "barely a tattoo"?- Show it to...

0:17:20 > 0:17:22Well, show the people, show your finger.

0:17:22 > 0:17:23Jennifer, turn around!

0:17:23 > 0:17:25LAUGHTER

0:17:26 > 0:17:29You will NOT disrupt the class!

0:17:29 > 0:17:32- I've got a tattoo.- Talk to the...

0:17:32 > 0:17:36- You've got one?!- Yeah.- Have you? I'll look at yours in a minute.

0:17:36 > 0:17:38Let's see yours first, Emilia. Hold it up.

0:17:38 > 0:17:41That way. There we are.

0:17:41 > 0:17:45Look at that. It's a little heart. Can you see that? Are we getting it?

0:17:45 > 0:17:48There. Look at that. Now, why...? Why is it not finished?

0:17:48 > 0:17:50Was it painful?

0:17:50 > 0:17:52It was so painful that I said, "Get off me

0:17:52 > 0:17:55- "and I don't want that filled in." - So, you stopped because of the pain?

0:17:55 > 0:17:57I have a similar thing. On my chest,

0:17:57 > 0:18:00I was going to have "mother" put on there

0:18:00 > 0:18:03and the pain was so awful, I've got "moth".

0:18:03 > 0:18:04LAUGHTER

0:18:06 > 0:18:10- The internet, James.- Yes.- Ever turned to the internet for comfort?

0:18:10 > 0:18:11LAUGHTER

0:18:13 > 0:18:16Don't worry, I'm not going to mention...

0:18:16 > 0:18:20- What does that mean?! - Well, I think you know.

0:18:20 > 0:18:22- LAUGHTER - What have you got, James?

0:18:22 > 0:18:25Let's start looking at some of these answers.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27The question is, according to a recent survey,

0:18:27 > 0:18:30what are people most likely to lie about on a dating website?

0:18:30 > 0:18:32James Corden says...

0:18:33 > 0:18:35- Size.- Size. Now...

0:18:37 > 0:18:39LAUGHTER

0:18:39 > 0:18:42- When you see size...- Yes.

0:18:42 > 0:18:44# Whey-whoo-hoo... #

0:18:44 > 0:18:48I think, if I hadn't settled down with Mrs Corden,

0:18:48 > 0:18:53I'd probably say, "Oh, you know, I'm...stocky."

0:18:53 > 0:18:55LAUGHTER

0:18:55 > 0:18:58You look now like a slovenly Gary Barlow.

0:18:58 > 0:19:00LAUGHTER

0:19:00 > 0:19:03Gary Barlow after Christmas.

0:19:03 > 0:19:06- After a REALLY good Christmas. - Yes, yes.

0:19:06 > 0:19:10All right, so size. Simon Callow says...

0:19:10 > 0:19:12size!

0:19:12 > 0:19:14Size, as well! Now, Jennifer,

0:19:14 > 0:19:16Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, Jenny, on the other hand,

0:19:16 > 0:19:21Jenny-Jen, you are a surprising petrol-head, aren't you?

0:19:21 > 0:19:24- Yes.- Me, I prefer white wine, but you...

0:19:24 > 0:19:25LAUGHTER

0:19:25 > 0:19:28Tell us how you did on Top Gear.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31Well, I was faster than you, that's what I remember.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33You overtook me?

0:19:33 > 0:19:35Yes. Slightly.

0:19:35 > 0:19:37Now, you went very fast.

0:19:37 > 0:19:39Was that your driving skills

0:19:39 > 0:19:42or were you just desperate to get away from Jeremy Clarkson?

0:19:42 > 0:19:44LAUGHTER

0:19:45 > 0:19:49- So, websites, internet dating. - Never done it, never done it.

0:19:49 > 0:19:53- Well, I've never done it. Of course, you and I...- We're too old.

0:19:53 > 0:19:55LAUGHTER

0:19:55 > 0:19:56No, I was going to say we're too attractive

0:19:56 > 0:19:58- and we've no need to.- That's true.

0:19:58 > 0:20:00- Course not.- We've no need to. We've no need to.

0:20:00 > 0:20:01According to a recent survey,

0:20:01 > 0:20:04what are people most likely to lie about on a dating website?

0:20:04 > 0:20:06She says...

0:20:06 > 0:20:07who they really are!

0:20:07 > 0:20:09- Hiding their identity!- If you go on an internet site,

0:20:09 > 0:20:11you think, "No-one's going to want to

0:20:11 > 0:20:13"go out with me," so you lie about everything.

0:20:13 > 0:20:16All right, we haven't done Louis.

0:20:16 > 0:20:19Oh, Louis, you really are representing the young, free,

0:20:19 > 0:20:22anything-goes generation.

0:20:22 > 0:20:23Louis says...

0:20:26 > 0:20:28Now, that's not sexual panthers.

0:20:28 > 0:20:30LAUGHTER

0:20:30 > 0:20:33- What do you mean? How many they have had?- Yeah, probably, yeah.

0:20:33 > 0:20:34And would they go...

0:20:34 > 0:20:35- AS BRUCE FORSYTH:- ..higher or lower?

0:20:35 > 0:20:37LAUGHTER

0:20:40 > 0:20:44- Have I done you already? - What?!- No, no!

0:20:44 > 0:20:47No, no, no, I'm not having that, that's too far. Too far.

0:20:47 > 0:20:50Let's have a look. Emilia says...

0:20:50 > 0:20:53- age! - APPLAUSE

0:20:53 > 0:20:56- Oh, look!- That's what most people are thinking.

0:20:56 > 0:21:00Let's put all the answers up together. That's the guess list.

0:21:00 > 0:21:02Now then, what do you make of those?

0:21:02 > 0:21:04I like the way Louis is thinking.

0:21:04 > 0:21:07I think you like a lot about Louis!

0:21:07 > 0:21:11Personally, I'm thinking occupation, purely...

0:21:11 > 0:21:13My husband told me he was a footballer,

0:21:13 > 0:21:15turns out he's a builder.

0:21:15 > 0:21:19- Did he honestly tell you that? - Well, no. Yes.

0:21:19 > 0:21:21LAUGHTER

0:21:23 > 0:21:26I've got no idea what she's on.

0:21:26 > 0:21:29It's going to be a long night.

0:21:29 > 0:21:33- Shirley, Shirley... You're saying occupation?- Occupation.

0:21:33 > 0:21:36What are people most likely to lie about on dating websites?

0:21:36 > 0:21:39The answer is...

0:21:39 > 0:21:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:21:42 > 0:21:45Shirley, you're correct. One point to you. Well done.

0:21:47 > 0:21:49Ben, here's your question.

0:21:57 > 0:22:02Right? Personally, I don't think we do anything better than women.

0:22:02 > 0:22:06I have to say that in case Mrs Brydon is looking in.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08She won't be, she'll be watching the cage fighting

0:22:08 > 0:22:12- on the sports channel, but... - LAUGHTER

0:22:12 > 0:22:16Louis. Louis Smith, men's gymnastics.

0:22:16 > 0:22:18Better than women's gymnastics, would you say?

0:22:20 > 0:22:22AUDIENCE: Oooh!

0:22:22 > 0:22:25That's what it looks like when a man is put on the spot.

0:22:25 > 0:22:27I'd say we definitely push

0:22:27 > 0:22:29the boundaries of the sport a lot more, but I think...

0:22:29 > 0:22:31That's a yes, I think, isn't it?

0:22:31 > 0:22:33Has everybody finished?

0:22:33 > 0:22:37Excellent. Let's take a look at what Louis has said.

0:22:41 > 0:22:42Louis says...

0:22:42 > 0:22:44driving.

0:22:44 > 0:22:48And a very helpful picture of a car there. Thank you, Louis.

0:22:48 > 0:22:50For any audience members who just...

0:22:50 > 0:22:53"driving" wasn't going to be enough for them.

0:22:53 > 0:22:56My car smells of Brydon, Emilia.

0:22:56 > 0:22:57Does yours smell of Fox?

0:22:57 > 0:23:00LAUGHTER

0:23:00 > 0:23:02If so, check under the wheel arches.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06So, thank you. Thank you for the diagram.

0:23:06 > 0:23:10Emilia. Emilia says...

0:23:10 > 0:23:13directions. Yes, I think that... That is an interesting one.

0:23:13 > 0:23:16Oh, Gavin And Stacey...

0:23:16 > 0:23:19- CHEERING - Well, that's... Thank you.

0:23:21 > 0:23:24So long ago. I've not seen you much on the telly.

0:23:24 > 0:23:29- What have you been doing?- I've just been waiting for this moment.

0:23:29 > 0:23:31- Goodness, but you've become a father?- I have. Yes.

0:23:31 > 0:23:33He's the father to a lovely young boy.

0:23:33 > 0:23:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:23:35 > 0:23:38Did you get an award for that as well?

0:23:41 > 0:23:44How many awards can one man win?

0:23:44 > 0:23:48- I've won nothing since Gavin And Stacey! Nothing!- Really?

0:23:48 > 0:23:51Yes, stop cackling, Jennifer, please.

0:23:51 > 0:23:53It's not appealing to be cackling like a witch

0:23:53 > 0:23:55with your back turned to me.

0:23:55 > 0:23:59You've won a Tony on Broadway. He has.

0:23:59 > 0:24:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:24:03 > 0:24:06And I KNOW a Tony on Ealing Broadway.

0:24:06 > 0:24:07LAUGHTER

0:24:07 > 0:24:12All right, James, what do men do better than women? You said...

0:24:12 > 0:24:14- Flying.- Flying?- Mm.

0:24:14 > 0:24:16LAUGHTER

0:24:16 > 0:24:18I've never been on a plane and...

0:24:18 > 0:24:20You know when the pilot comes on at the start and says,

0:24:20 > 0:24:23"Good evening, I'm going to take us up to 90,000 feet

0:24:23 > 0:24:26"and then we'll take a left at Chicago," and things like that,

0:24:26 > 0:24:28I've never heard a woman doing that on a plane I've been on.

0:24:28 > 0:24:31Do you know what? Neither have I. Has anybody ever had a woman pilot?

0:24:31 > 0:24:33A female pilot?

0:24:33 > 0:24:35- AUDIENCE: Yes! - None of them, there we are.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37LAUGHTER

0:24:37 > 0:24:44So, you're going to say flying. Now, here we come to a proper actor.

0:24:44 > 0:24:50And I don't mean that... No... No, no, no. No, no, hang on a minute.

0:24:50 > 0:24:52That's... That's not...

0:24:52 > 0:24:54APPLAUSE

0:24:54 > 0:24:58There is no disrespect in that, but honestly...

0:24:58 > 0:25:03having someone like you on this show is going to do us the power of good.

0:25:03 > 0:25:06He's good, but he's a clown.

0:25:08 > 0:25:11Just say something to me, Simon. Say anything, I don't care what it is.

0:25:11 > 0:25:14- Good evening, Rob.- Oh, I love it! - APPLAUSE

0:25:14 > 0:25:17Oh, I love it. And listen, listen to this. Come on, you do the same.

0:25:17 > 0:25:18Evening, Rob!

0:25:18 > 0:25:20LAUGHTER

0:25:20 > 0:25:23- HIGH-PITCHED VOICE:- I mean, look, it's a ridiculously high voice.

0:25:23 > 0:25:25"Hello, Rob, how are you doing?"

0:25:25 > 0:25:29I mean, how you've got as far as you have is a mystery!

0:25:32 > 0:25:34Great to have you here.

0:25:34 > 0:25:40Simon Callow. Dickens, Shakespeare, you make the past come alive.

0:25:40 > 0:25:43- Thank you.- It's like watching Antiques Roadshow.

0:25:43 > 0:25:46Let's see what you've got. Simon thinks it's...

0:25:47 > 0:25:48drive.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50Too lazy to do the I-N-G.

0:25:50 > 0:25:51LAUGHTER

0:25:51 > 0:25:55Driving, right. Look at this!

0:25:55 > 0:25:57They don't make it easy, do they?

0:25:57 > 0:26:01Remember that... that Stallone film, Cliffhanger.

0:26:01 > 0:26:05- AS SYLVESTER STALLONE:- You're not going to die, I won't let you die.

0:26:05 > 0:26:07APPLAUSE

0:26:07 > 0:26:08All right.

0:26:10 > 0:26:12Let's have a look at Jennifer's answer.

0:26:13 > 0:26:18Driving. So there is a groundswell of opinion for driving!

0:26:18 > 0:26:20But I will say, a lot of them

0:26:20 > 0:26:23are not the brightest buttons in the box.

0:26:23 > 0:26:27Let's take a look at all the answers. There's your guess list.

0:26:27 > 0:26:30Now, you don't have to go with

0:26:30 > 0:26:33any of those if you don't want to.

0:26:33 > 0:26:34What do you think?

0:26:34 > 0:26:38I'm going to agree with Louis, Jennifer and Simon and driving.

0:26:38 > 0:26:41Driving. OK, good luck. I hope you get it right.

0:26:41 > 0:26:44What did 98% of Brits say men do better than women?

0:26:44 > 0:26:46The answer is...

0:26:46 > 0:26:48AUDIENCE: Oooh!

0:26:48 > 0:26:51APPLAUSE

0:26:51 > 0:26:53Unbelievable!

0:26:53 > 0:26:59Jennifer, I am so sorry. That... That's ludicrous, isn't it?

0:26:59 > 0:27:03- Who are those men?- Well, you and Dawn are the other 2%.- OK, yes.

0:27:03 > 0:27:05LAUGHTER

0:27:05 > 0:27:07Goodness me! You're wrong there. I'm sorry, Ben.

0:27:07 > 0:27:08No points for that.

0:27:08 > 0:27:10That's a shocker. It's a shocker.

0:27:10 > 0:27:12All right, Shirley, you're next.

0:27:12 > 0:27:14It's a celebrity question, OK?

0:27:14 > 0:27:16So, for this one, I am going to ask one of our celebrities to ask

0:27:16 > 0:27:20- a question about themselves. Simon, there's an envelope.- Yes.

0:27:20 > 0:27:23It's your winter fuel allowance.

0:27:23 > 0:27:25LAUGHTER

0:27:25 > 0:27:27At last!

0:27:27 > 0:27:30APPLAUSE

0:27:30 > 0:27:34- OK, what does it say? - "I am a successful actor..."

0:27:34 > 0:27:37Oh, stop banging on about yourself!

0:27:37 > 0:27:42- "..but what do I never do?"- What, that's what it genuinely says?- Yes.

0:27:42 > 0:27:45Sorry, I just thought you were having a me moment!

0:27:45 > 0:27:49He's a successful actor, but what does he never do?

0:27:49 > 0:27:52I'm guessing now this is going to be something

0:27:52 > 0:27:54you would expect an actor to do.

0:27:54 > 0:27:56OK? Have a little think.

0:27:56 > 0:28:02- Jennifer Saunders. Tell me about - I read this - hypnotherapy.- Oh!

0:28:02 > 0:28:06You are going to try hypnotherapy, am I right?

0:28:06 > 0:28:07- Yes.- And what is it for?

0:28:07 > 0:28:09Not for what you would think.

0:28:09 > 0:28:11Putting things off. Not doing things.

0:28:11 > 0:28:14Procrastinating, yes. Meaning to do stuff...

0:28:14 > 0:28:16I do mean to go and do it and I will do it.

0:28:17 > 0:28:21- And this is in particular for the movie, isn't it?- For writing, yeah.

0:28:21 > 0:28:23- Because you are going to do... - Because I put it off.

0:28:23 > 0:28:25Absolutely Fabulous, the movie.

0:28:25 > 0:28:27Absolutely Fabulous, the movie.

0:28:27 > 0:28:29APPLAUSE

0:28:29 > 0:28:34Wow. Can I just say, if it happens, and it comes to casting...?

0:28:34 > 0:28:35No.

0:28:35 > 0:28:37LAUGHTER

0:28:37 > 0:28:40- Sorry.- Let me help you...- OK. - ..with the hypnotherapy.

0:28:40 > 0:28:45Simon, would you be kind enough to get up and just push off?

0:28:45 > 0:28:48- You come and sit here. Pop yourself there.- What are you going to do?

0:28:48 > 0:28:51There we are. There we are. I'm going to sit with you.

0:28:51 > 0:28:56So, hypnotherapy to help you with procrastination.

0:28:56 > 0:29:01Just hear the words. Close your eyes, Jennifer, trust me. Tight.

0:29:01 > 0:29:04LAUGHTER Why?

0:29:04 > 0:29:06I don't trust you. I don't trust you.

0:29:06 > 0:29:09Jennifer, Jennifer, the basis of any successful hypnotherapy

0:29:09 > 0:29:12is trust between the therapist

0:29:12 > 0:29:14and the lunatic.

0:29:14 > 0:29:15LAUGHTER

0:29:15 > 0:29:19And I want you, Jennifer, I want you to hear the sound of water,

0:29:19 > 0:29:22gently trickling down.

0:29:23 > 0:29:24It's not Simon, don't worry.

0:29:26 > 0:29:28Gently trickling water.

0:29:28 > 0:29:33I'm going to place, ever so gently, a suggestion.

0:29:33 > 0:29:35Get on with it, girl!

0:29:35 > 0:29:37LAUGHTER

0:29:37 > 0:29:39- Ooh! Sorry, one last thing, you're under again.- OK.

0:29:39 > 0:29:41Cast Rob Brydon. Thank you.

0:29:41 > 0:29:43APPLAUSE

0:29:43 > 0:29:44Simon, back you go.

0:29:44 > 0:29:49Now then. Simon Callow is a very successful actor.

0:29:49 > 0:29:54But there's one thing that he never does. James Corden says...

0:29:54 > 0:29:56Well, I thought about it.

0:29:56 > 0:29:58LAUGHTER

0:29:58 > 0:30:00APPLAUSE

0:30:04 > 0:30:10Jennifer Saunders, when asked what does Simon Callow never do?

0:30:10 > 0:30:11Jennifer says...

0:30:11 > 0:30:13"Learns his lines"?!

0:30:13 > 0:30:17He probably does, I just thought, he's probably successful, but he's...

0:30:17 > 0:30:19He absorbs his lines. He doesn't have to learn them.

0:30:19 > 0:30:21It's a tricky question, actually, Shirley.

0:30:21 > 0:30:26Now, Louis says that Simon never...

0:30:26 > 0:30:28smooches on camera.

0:30:28 > 0:30:32All right, OK. Emilia Fox, she says...

0:30:32 > 0:30:33love scenes.

0:30:33 > 0:30:37I was going to put nudity, but I have actually seen Simon naked on...

0:30:37 > 0:30:39I think I've seen Simon naked on film, as well.

0:30:39 > 0:30:41I have, and I suddenly remembered that, so...

0:30:41 > 0:30:44- Running around a lake. That's... - Exactly. Jumping in.

0:30:44 > 0:30:45It's seared on my mind.

0:30:46 > 0:30:50I mean, the number of therapists I've got through.

0:30:50 > 0:30:52Right, all those answers are locked in.

0:30:52 > 0:30:55So, Simon, could you write the right answer in there, please?

0:30:55 > 0:30:57That's the guess list.

0:30:57 > 0:31:00Now, Shirley, what does Simon Callow never do?

0:31:00 > 0:31:05You don't have to go with any of those, you can go your own way.

0:31:05 > 0:31:09Like Emilia, I was thinking nudity.

0:31:09 > 0:31:11So I'm going to go with love scenes.

0:31:11 > 0:31:13You're going to say love scenes.

0:31:13 > 0:31:17What does Simon Callow never do? The actual answer is...

0:31:17 > 0:31:20- AUDIENCE OOHS - Never watches television?!

0:31:20 > 0:31:22Haven't got one, Rob.

0:31:22 > 0:31:23Do you have any idea who we are?

0:31:23 > 0:31:25LAUGHTER

0:31:25 > 0:31:27Barely!

0:31:27 > 0:31:29Have you seen anything I've done?

0:31:29 > 0:31:33Yeah... LAUGHTER

0:31:33 > 0:31:36That's a no.

0:31:36 > 0:31:39All right, Shirley, I'm so sorry, you're wrong, no points awarded.

0:31:39 > 0:31:42All right, we've got to the point in the show, though,

0:31:42 > 0:31:46where we find out who is going to play for the prize,

0:31:46 > 0:31:48let's take a look at the scores.

0:31:49 > 0:31:52Oh, it's 1-0 to Shirley.

0:31:53 > 0:31:57Oh, no. Ben, we've got to say goodbye to you. Sorry, Ben.

0:31:57 > 0:31:59Thank you for coming on.

0:31:59 > 0:32:02Ladies and gentlemen, we say goodbye to Ben, but well done, Shirley.

0:32:02 > 0:32:03APPLAUSE

0:32:09 > 0:32:13So this is it, this is what the final feels like.

0:32:13 > 0:32:15Breathe it in, Shirley.

0:32:15 > 0:32:19You are one question away from winning your prize.

0:32:19 > 0:32:22Now, for the final question, the answer is a number.

0:32:22 > 0:32:26You can hear the panel's guesses, just like before, but it's a number.

0:32:26 > 0:32:31And before we play, I'm going to dangle this prize under your nose.

0:32:32 > 0:32:34Because you're going to Australia,

0:32:34 > 0:32:39we want you to get a little bit of that Perth lifestyle in advance.

0:32:39 > 0:32:44So we are sending you on an all-expenses-paid trip

0:32:44 > 0:32:46to Perth

0:32:46 > 0:32:48in Perthshire, Scotland.

0:32:48 > 0:32:51Yes. Yes, we are. Yes, we are.

0:32:51 > 0:32:54APPLAUSE

0:32:56 > 0:32:58There's only one question standing in your way.

0:32:58 > 0:32:59Let's take a look at it.

0:33:10 > 0:33:12All right, have a little think about that now.

0:33:12 > 0:33:15What percentage of men, they want the make-up at all times?

0:33:15 > 0:33:18I like Mrs Brydon to look her best at all times, I do.

0:33:18 > 0:33:20When I get home, I take my contact lenses out.

0:33:20 > 0:33:23LAUGHTER

0:33:23 > 0:33:27James, what's your grooming routine like?

0:33:27 > 0:33:32- You have a sheen to you, which I love.- Really?

0:33:32 > 0:33:34Yeah, what do you do, big man, do you wash?

0:33:34 > 0:33:35LAUGHTER

0:33:35 > 0:33:39I wash. But I don't do any moisturising or...

0:33:39 > 0:33:44- You never moisturise?- No, because I think it's all a trick.

0:33:44 > 0:33:46- Really?- Yeah, like lip balm.

0:33:46 > 0:33:49- Once you start using lip balm... - You get hooked.- Yeah.

0:33:49 > 0:33:51It's one step away from heroin, it really is.

0:33:51 > 0:33:52LAUGHTER

0:33:52 > 0:33:54Simon, obviously, you're pretty slapdash,

0:33:54 > 0:33:57you don't really care, do you?

0:33:57 > 0:34:00You get up in the morning, a bit of sandpaper, off you go.

0:34:00 > 0:34:01You're ready to go.

0:34:01 > 0:34:04All right, everybody, let's see what our celebrities think.

0:34:08 > 0:34:09Louis says...

0:34:09 > 0:34:1118%.

0:34:11 > 0:34:12Emilia says...

0:34:12 > 0:34:1418%.

0:34:14 > 0:34:16James says...

0:34:16 > 0:34:1710%.

0:34:17 > 0:34:19- Gosh.- Simon says...

0:34:19 > 0:34:22What a curious percentage!

0:34:22 > 0:34:25That's as though you've gone and done some research on it.

0:34:25 > 0:34:29- HE IMITATES SIMON:- Because I've come back and I've found it's 27%.

0:34:29 > 0:34:31HE BRAYS

0:34:31 > 0:34:34- That's Stephen Fry in Blackadder. - It is Stephen Fry, I know, I know.

0:34:34 > 0:34:36- HE BRAYS - ..Blackadder.

0:34:36 > 0:34:39Blackadder's a TV show, Simon.

0:34:39 > 0:34:41All right, Jennifer says...

0:34:41 > 0:34:4436. Ooh! Interesting, Jennifer's gone the highest.

0:34:44 > 0:34:47So it goes from 18% to 36%.

0:34:47 > 0:34:50- Now then, to make it easier for you, Shirley...- OK.

0:34:50 > 0:34:52..I'm just going to give you two possibilities.

0:34:52 > 0:34:55I'm going to give you the right answer and a wrong answer.

0:34:55 > 0:34:57You've got a 50-50 chance, either/or.

0:34:57 > 0:34:58Let's take a look at the two of them.

0:34:58 > 0:35:01It's either 23%...

0:35:03 > 0:35:07None of them have gone higher than 36,

0:35:07 > 0:35:10and yet the highest we are offering you is 73.

0:35:10 > 0:35:14It's either 23 or 73, but think carefully.

0:35:14 > 0:35:16So one's the real answer...

0:35:16 > 0:35:18It's very difficult, isn't it, to understand?

0:35:18 > 0:35:19- It is.- Yes!

0:35:19 > 0:35:22It's cunningly deceptive.

0:35:22 > 0:35:23LAUGHTER

0:35:25 > 0:35:27It's either/or, love!

0:35:27 > 0:35:30LAUGHTER

0:35:30 > 0:35:32God, if you were ever on The Krypton Factor,

0:35:32 > 0:35:34you'd have a nervous breakdown.

0:35:34 > 0:35:36LAUGHTER

0:35:36 > 0:35:37One is right, one is wrong.

0:35:37 > 0:35:40- HE IMITATES SHIRLEY:- "Could you just go through it again now?

0:35:40 > 0:35:42"One of these answers..."

0:35:43 > 0:35:45One is right, one is wrong.

0:35:46 > 0:35:49I'm not sure I want you to win any more, to be very honest.

0:35:51 > 0:35:53I would have thought it was a low answer, obviously,

0:35:53 > 0:35:56- because men prefer the natural. - They prefer the natural, but...

0:35:56 > 0:36:00But 73% must be the answer.

0:36:00 > 0:36:0273% of men, why?

0:36:02 > 0:36:04Why do you think that?

0:36:04 > 0:36:06I don't know, I might have understood it wrong, but...

0:36:06 > 0:36:08LAUGHTER

0:36:08 > 0:36:11I think there's a fairly good chance you've understood it wrong.

0:36:13 > 0:36:16The 23 must be theirs, and the 73 must be the right answer.

0:36:16 > 0:36:18Yeah, that's not how it works, love.

0:36:19 > 0:36:21All they're...

0:36:21 > 0:36:23LAUGHTER

0:36:23 > 0:36:27All they are doing is guessing, all right?

0:36:27 > 0:36:29Did you leave school early?

0:36:29 > 0:36:32LAUGHTER

0:36:32 > 0:36:34Now, look, they've had a guess, OK?

0:36:34 > 0:36:37But what I've done is I've made it easier for you.

0:36:37 > 0:36:42I've ignored what they've done, OK? And I've given you two.

0:36:42 > 0:36:43One of them is right.

0:36:43 > 0:36:45Are you listening to me?

0:36:45 > 0:36:50One of them is right and one of them is wrong.

0:36:50 > 0:36:53And I want you to win.

0:36:53 > 0:36:55Are you saying 73? I think you should.

0:36:55 > 0:36:57Are you saying 73?

0:36:59 > 0:37:01How clear can I make it?!

0:37:01 > 0:37:04LAUGHTER

0:37:07 > 0:37:12What part of fixing the show and going against BBC ethical guidelines

0:37:12 > 0:37:14do you not understand?

0:37:14 > 0:37:16And nobody can tweet about this.

0:37:18 > 0:37:22- Now, Shirley, what are you going to go for?- Is it 73%?

0:37:22 > 0:37:23You're going for...

0:37:23 > 0:37:25Well, don't say it like that, like you're taking the piss.

0:37:25 > 0:37:27LAUGHTER

0:37:27 > 0:37:30OK. You can lead a horse to water...

0:37:31 > 0:37:33You don't look like a horse, I'm not saying that.

0:37:35 > 0:37:39- What are you going to go for? - 73%.- 73%.

0:37:39 > 0:37:42The actual answer is...

0:37:42 > 0:37:43Yay!

0:37:43 > 0:37:45APPLAUSE

0:37:48 > 0:37:52You've done it. Yay, Shirley's won the prize.

0:37:52 > 0:37:54Frankly, she doesn't deserve it.

0:37:54 > 0:37:56That's all for tonight.

0:37:56 > 0:37:59Well done to Shirley, thanks to all our panel stars, Louis Smith...

0:37:59 > 0:38:02APPLAUSE

0:38:02 > 0:38:04- ..Emilia Fox... - APPLAUSE

0:38:04 > 0:38:07- ..James Corden... - APPLAUSE

0:38:07 > 0:38:10- ..Simon Callow... - APPLAUSE

0:38:10 > 0:38:12- ..and Jennifer Saunders. - APPLAUSE

0:38:12 > 0:38:15Thank you for watching, good night.

0:38:15 > 0:38:17Right, love, come and join me, come and meet them.