0:00:02 > 0:00:04ALARM CLOCK RINGS
0:00:12 > 0:00:14'It was my first proper wedding.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16'Tim had stayed at our house, so he didn't see Jenny,
0:00:16 > 0:00:20'but he was so drunk, he couldn't have seen anyone.
0:00:20 > 0:00:23'According to him, weddings were all about superstition,
0:00:23 > 0:00:25'luck and traditions.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28'I was supposed to feel pretty lucky about being the bridesmaid,
0:00:28 > 0:00:32'but I didn't because I had to wear a stupid dress.
0:00:32 > 0:00:33'A proper flowery girlie one.
0:00:35 > 0:00:37'But more importantly,
0:00:37 > 0:00:41'it was the Jessop Square North versus Jessop Square South
0:00:41 > 0:00:42'annual grudge match.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44'And somehow, I had to play in it.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56'But before anything could happen, Dad had to get Mum up -
0:00:56 > 0:00:58'and she hated getting up.'
0:00:58 > 0:01:02Not the light! Not the light! Come on, you're not a ruddy vampire.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03Argh!
0:01:08 > 0:01:12I have a long memory, Tony Kennedy. Taking one for the team, Brenda.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14This wedding is ON!
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Tim.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Help me! I've gone blind!
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Tim! Your eyes are shut. Come on, let's go.
0:01:25 > 0:01:27Oh...
0:01:27 > 0:01:28You look lovely, Em.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32Tim snored all night and made smells that were just wrong, dad.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34This is what men do, Emma.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37I'm afraid you're just going to have to make yourself immune to it.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40Tony, today has to be perfect for Jenny. Perfect!
0:01:40 > 0:01:43But I need you to know that I am powerless in making that happen.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Powerless! He's not wrong. It's nerves, Tim.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51I've got no powers, Tony! I can't even stand!
0:01:51 > 0:01:54Tim, you've got both legs in one pyjama leg.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Now, calm down and start again.
0:01:56 > 0:01:58And you've got lots of powers.
0:01:58 > 0:02:01Listen, there's only one man that's going to make Jenny happy today
0:02:01 > 0:02:03and that's you.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05So, come on! Let's get this wedding rolling!
0:02:07 > 0:02:10'The wedding train was about to leave the station.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13'But I had something more important to do.'
0:02:13 > 0:02:17When are you playing? I can't yet. I've got to go and do the wedding.
0:02:17 > 0:02:19Can't you miss the wedding?
0:02:19 > 0:02:22This is the most important game of our lives. I can do both.
0:02:22 > 0:02:27Look, the game doesn't end until the woman from number 37 shouts at us.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29We've got ages.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Jessop Square North are toast.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35No, it's bad luck to say their name out loud.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Do you want to end up like Abigail? Who is Abigail?
0:02:38 > 0:02:42Exactly! Quick, turn around, hop, spit and say "rabbits".
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Rabbits! WHISTLE BLOWS
0:02:45 > 0:02:49Never pass to Terence. Julie will stop for Black Jacks. Good luck.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51KIDS CHEER
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Come on, Jessop Square South!
0:02:53 > 0:02:54Pass it back, Emma! Yes, Emma!
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Emma. Oh! Look at you!
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Oh, you actually look like a girl!
0:03:06 > 0:03:09Although, let's be clear, a modern girl isn't interested
0:03:09 > 0:03:11in perpetuating dressing-up stereotypes.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13That said, you do look lovely.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16Is Dad not coming? No. He's with Tim.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19Trying to stop him exploding with nerves.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22# I said, go buddy, go buddy Go buddy, go buddy
0:03:22 > 0:03:25# Go, go, go!
0:03:25 > 0:03:29# I said, go buddy, go buddy Go buddy, go buddy
0:03:29 > 0:03:33# Go, go, go! #
0:03:33 > 0:03:36BOTH: # I'm getting married in the morning!
0:03:36 > 0:03:39# Ding dong, the bells... #
0:03:42 > 0:03:44You OK, Jenny? What's wrong?
0:03:44 > 0:03:49It's the dress. My bump's got too big. I can't get into it.
0:03:49 > 0:03:53How can I have the perfect wedding without the dress?
0:03:53 > 0:03:55Oh, it's fine. It's just a bit stiff.
0:03:55 > 0:03:59Wedding dresses are like getting sofas into rooms.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01It's all about the angle. We can fix this.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Come on.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06Arms up.
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Suck in.
0:04:09 > 0:04:13It's not going to go, Brenda! Emma, come here!
0:04:13 > 0:04:16Grab that corner and pull as hard as you can!
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Are you sure that's a good idea? It's the only way, Brenda!
0:04:19 > 0:04:21On my count.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23One, two, three, pull!
0:04:23 > 0:04:25LOUD RIP Oh!
0:04:26 > 0:04:29Rabbits!
0:04:29 > 0:04:31What have you done?
0:04:31 > 0:04:33You've destroyed my wedding dress.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36But you told me to... I didn't mean it!
0:04:36 > 0:04:38OK. OK.
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Just shut your eyes for a minute, Jenny, in case you go into shock.
0:04:40 > 0:04:42You shut them, lie down.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45And sleep.
0:04:45 > 0:04:47Oh, God.
0:04:47 > 0:04:49What are we going to do?
0:04:49 > 0:04:53Are you, by some impossible miracle, a trained wedding dress maker?
0:04:53 > 0:04:55I made a hand puppet once.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57From a sock.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59A sock's not going to be big enough.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Wait.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04We've got curtains.
0:05:04 > 0:05:07We can go a bit raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens -
0:05:07 > 0:05:09who doesn't love the Sound of Music? Nobody. Exactly.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13Make it a themed wedding. You can go as a box tied up with string.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Or a goat! A goat. Brenda!
0:05:15 > 0:05:19I am getting married in two hours!
0:05:19 > 0:05:22And my dress is in pieces!
0:05:22 > 0:05:27I will not scale Mount Wedding in lederhosen made of curtains!
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Let's focus on the positives.
0:05:29 > 0:05:33Think of it as an opportunity, a modern adventure...
0:05:33 > 0:05:35I don't want a modern adventure!
0:05:35 > 0:05:40I want to get married in a lovely wedding dress like a normal person!
0:05:40 > 0:05:44This is an opportunity for nothing other than a nervous breakdown!
0:05:44 > 0:05:48We must stay calm and focus. Focus, everyone.
0:05:48 > 0:05:49Focus!
0:05:52 > 0:05:54You could go dressed like that.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56I'm not going in my underwear, Brenda!
0:05:56 > 0:05:58Shower curtain.
0:05:58 > 0:06:02That's it. I'm killing myself. Goodbye, everyone.
0:06:02 > 0:06:04No, no, no.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08No, you're not high enough. You'll sprain your ankle at best.
0:06:09 > 0:06:14There must be something. We must know someone. Think!
0:06:20 > 0:06:23Think a bit more! Quickly!
0:06:23 > 0:06:27Brenda, I already can't get married in a church...
0:06:27 > 0:06:30So everything else has to be perfect.
0:06:30 > 0:06:33Where's the old, the new, the borrowed and the blue?
0:06:33 > 0:06:36You're in charge of that. You have got them, haven't you?
0:06:36 > 0:06:39Because that was your one job -
0:06:39 > 0:06:42the old, the new, the borrowed and the blue.
0:06:42 > 0:06:46I didn't think you wanted all that traditional nonsense.
0:06:46 > 0:06:47I did.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50I did want all that traditional nonsense
0:06:50 > 0:06:53and all the luck that came with them.
0:06:53 > 0:06:55I want all of it. Er, well...
0:06:56 > 0:07:00Who says it has to be blue?
0:07:00 > 0:07:06I've got a...a red rubber in my bag. You can have that.
0:07:06 > 0:07:09It covers old, as well, and borrowed, if I want it back.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11I don't want your stupid rubber!
0:07:12 > 0:07:16I want a dress and I want the old and I want the new
0:07:16 > 0:07:18and I want the borrowed and I want the blue!
0:07:18 > 0:07:22And I want all the traditions and all of the superstitions!
0:07:22 > 0:07:25I'm going to have the nearest thing to a perfect wedding
0:07:25 > 0:07:27if it kills me, Brenda!
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Or you!
0:07:33 > 0:07:37Should I just go and get Dad? Brilliant, Emma! Brilliant!
0:07:37 > 0:07:41This is why you'll definitely get in to university! Run! Run, Lassie!
0:07:41 > 0:07:46And whatever you do, make sure he's as panicked as I am!
0:07:46 > 0:07:49'I was off. Dad was now our only hope.
0:07:49 > 0:07:52'But I still needed to keep my eye on the prize.'
0:07:52 > 0:07:55Pass it, Jane! Pass it! Pass it!
0:07:55 > 0:07:57No, no, no. Not to me!
0:08:01 > 0:08:02Have I got mud on my back?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04A bit.
0:08:09 > 0:08:10Jane, watch out!
0:08:12 > 0:08:14HE EXHALES LOUDLY
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Relax. Just relax.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Relax.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21Relax, mate. That's it. Relax.
0:08:21 > 0:08:24Dad! Dad! Jenny's dress has gone all wrong.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27What do you mean "Jenny's dress has gone all wrong"?
0:08:27 > 0:08:30That's bad luck, isn't it, Tony? That's bad luck! No.
0:08:30 > 0:08:35That's not what she meant. Ha! Just, you... Wait there.
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Ho-ho!
0:08:37 > 0:08:41(What do you mean Jenny's dress has gone all wrong?)
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Well, it was in one bit... Right. ..and now it's in two bits.
0:08:44 > 0:08:47Oh! And Mum told me to come here and ask you what to do.
0:08:47 > 0:08:50Mrs Palmer. She makes costumes for the Ancroft Players.
0:08:50 > 0:08:53She might be able to help. Yeah, run and ask her, yeah.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55Mrs Palmer. Yeah. Gotcha. OK. Emma! Emma!
0:08:55 > 0:08:58What's happened to your dress? You're covered in mud.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01Has your mother seen it? It's only mud.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04It's only mud?! It's only mud?!
0:09:04 > 0:09:08Right! Right, trust me on this. Keep your back to everyone at all times.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Everything's going really well!
0:09:23 > 0:09:24Shoot! Shoot! Shoot!
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Yes!
0:09:27 > 0:09:29Come on, Jessop Square South! We can do this!
0:09:30 > 0:09:32Oh, no! Not again!
0:09:39 > 0:09:40Ah!
0:09:40 > 0:09:41Emma! Emma!
0:09:53 > 0:09:56KNOCKS ON DOOR
0:09:56 > 0:09:59God! Have you brought a wedding dress? Where's Emma?
0:09:59 > 0:10:02She's... I've sent her to Dee's. Brilliant idea!
0:10:03 > 0:10:06What's happened to Jenny's dress? Where is it?
0:10:06 > 0:10:08It's there, Tony.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13You set fire to Jenny's wedding dress?
0:10:13 > 0:10:15No, of course I didn't.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17She did.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19Don't ask. It all went a bit ugly.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21Tony! It's all gone ruined!
0:10:23 > 0:10:26Don't worry, Jenny. Everything's going to be fine.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29But I haven't got the old, the new, the borrowed or the blue.
0:10:29 > 0:10:30Is that bad luck, Tony?
0:10:30 > 0:10:34Can everyone stop saying everything's bad luck?
0:10:34 > 0:10:36It's all just superstitious nonsense.
0:10:36 > 0:10:37Bad luck is bad luck, Brenda.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40I'm not prepared to take the chance, so do something!
0:10:40 > 0:10:44Jenny, I am not Glenda the Good Witch of the North.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47I don't know what I'm supposed to do about the bad luck.
0:10:47 > 0:10:49Can't Tony just fix it?
0:10:49 > 0:10:52Yes!
0:10:52 > 0:10:55Tony will fix it. Off you go. Borrowed. Find it. Find it now.
0:10:55 > 0:10:56Hang on... Now, Tony! Borrowed!
0:10:56 > 0:10:59And make sure it's the luckiest borrowed you can get your hands on.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01Go, go! Off, off! Aw!
0:11:01 > 0:11:05I've got them, mum! I've got them! Oh!
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Oh, thank goodness! You've found a massive wedding dress. Not quite.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11It's from the play we're doing with the Ancroft Players.
0:11:11 > 0:11:12They won't mind you borrowing it.
0:11:12 > 0:11:15Borrowed! Emma, get back after your father.
0:11:15 > 0:11:18Tell him borrowed is done, now he has to get blue. Off! Off!
0:11:18 > 0:11:22And tell him to make sure it's extra lucky. Oh, Jenny! The day is saved!
0:11:22 > 0:11:25You've got a big white thing from a play.
0:11:25 > 0:11:26But what play? Moby-Dick.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33It's the best I can do. It's this or a galleon with four cannons.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48Nice...
0:11:48 > 0:11:52You want me to get married, dressed as a whale? It's white, Jenny.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54That's a start... It's a whale, Brenda! A whale!
0:11:54 > 0:11:56A whale with googly eyes!
0:11:56 > 0:12:00They're good, aren't they? I got them from an old pantomime horse...
0:12:00 > 0:12:04Hang on. Isn't Moby-Dick supposed to be really unlucky? No.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Yes, a real portent of evil.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09Shush, David! A whole bag of shush! Yes.
0:12:09 > 0:12:12No! No! No! No, Brenda! Jenny... Jenny... No!
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Don't be hasty.
0:12:15 > 0:12:17It's white, which is traditional.
0:12:17 > 0:12:20It'll fit you, which really helps us at the moment.
0:12:20 > 0:12:24And Dee will somehow make it look like a dress, won't you, Dee?
0:12:24 > 0:12:26I can do my best.
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Make some adjustments.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30The tail can make a train.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32I can tuck it here, cut it there.
0:12:35 > 0:12:36I can hide the eyes.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Nobody will know, Jenny. It's got fins.
0:12:40 > 0:12:43You could say they're just fashion. Exactly, Jenny!
0:12:43 > 0:12:46Who understands fashion? David, do you understand fashion?
0:12:46 > 0:12:48No, I do not.
0:12:52 > 0:12:57You have got just under two hours
0:12:57 > 0:12:59to make this
0:12:59 > 0:13:03the best whale-based wedding dress anyone has ever seen.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07Do you understand?
0:13:07 > 0:13:09Yes.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14What's happening? How's Jenny? She's fine.
0:13:14 > 0:13:16There's a slight problem with the dress
0:13:16 > 0:13:18and I've got to find something borrowed, but it's fine.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20It's all my fault.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22I should have slaughtered something to appease the wedding gods!
0:13:22 > 0:13:25There's no such thing as the wedding gods! Pull yourself together, Tim!
0:13:25 > 0:13:27We've got to borrow something. Now, think!
0:13:27 > 0:13:30I can't think. I've got marriage fright. I'm rigid with it.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34You don't need to do borrowed. Mum says get blue and make it lucky.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39I've got a Penthouse under the bed.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42Sometimes, when I show it to Jenny, I get lucky.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Not that sort of blue, Tim.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47'Go, go, go! Yes!'
0:13:47 > 0:13:48Come on.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Terence!
0:13:50 > 0:13:51Come here.
0:13:51 > 0:13:53Come here!
0:13:54 > 0:13:56Right, give us your sock.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58What?! Just give us your sock!
0:14:00 > 0:14:03What's the score? 12-0 to them.
0:14:03 > 0:14:04We really need you.
0:14:04 > 0:14:07So the woman from number 37 hasn't shouted yet? No.
0:14:07 > 0:14:10She's gone to Welwyn Garden City for a pound of kidneys.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12We've still got ages. Good.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15Keep it tight in the back four. I don't know what that means.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17No-one does.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Here you go. Thanks. There you go.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23One blue sock. But is it lucky, Tony? It needs to be lucky.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26Of course it's lucky. Look at him go!
0:14:28 > 0:14:29Oh...
0:14:29 > 0:14:32It's going to have to do... We need old, Tony.
0:14:32 > 0:14:34Grr!
0:14:34 > 0:14:37What about them? Don't be ridiculous. Come on.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39Come on, Emma.
0:14:44 > 0:14:45A wet sock.
0:14:49 > 0:14:50It smells of...mice?
0:14:50 > 0:14:53We'll stick on the radiator, let it dry,
0:14:53 > 0:14:56and then tie it round your leg like a garter.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59It is blue, Jenny. Focus on the positive.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02Are you all right, Jenny? No. No, I'm not.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05Won't somebody, somewhere, help us?
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Look at the time. We've got to start getting everyone in the car.
0:15:08 > 0:15:11But, Tony, you haven't got the old and new yet.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Jenny's not going anywhere till you've got those.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16And I've only just started. You two split up.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18Tony, get old, Emma, get new. Out you go.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21Can't you do it? I'm a little busy with Tim. I can't abandon my post!
0:15:21 > 0:15:24You're going to have to do it. Jenny needs a horseshoe, or something.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26On the ladder of luck, they're right up there.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Ladder of luck! Everyone's gone ruddy mad!
0:15:29 > 0:15:30I know, but what can we do?
0:15:30 > 0:15:31If we want them to get married,
0:15:31 > 0:15:33you're going to have to get her a horseshoe.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36Brenda, we are running out of time. What do you want me to do?
0:15:36 > 0:15:39Take one from the herd of wild ponies that live on Jessop Square?
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Oh, no, I can't! Because there aren't any!
0:15:41 > 0:15:44Well, you've got tools in your garage, haven't you? Yes.
0:15:44 > 0:15:47I've got tools in my garage. So make one!
0:15:47 > 0:15:50And hurry up. Right, Tim. You're coming with me.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53Good, let's get going. This way. This way.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56Go and find a four-leaf clover. That's impossible.
0:15:56 > 0:15:59Impossible, Emma, no. sticky tape in the kitchen cupboard.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03You know what to do.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09Right, horseshoe done. That's it.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12Emma's doing the new, so that's the superstitions taken care of.
0:16:12 > 0:16:13Right. Now, we can get you married.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16You get in the front seat, the girls will be here in a minute.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17Come on, Brenda. Don't let me down.
0:16:17 > 0:16:20I can't travel with Jenny, Tony. I can't see her before the wedding.
0:16:20 > 0:16:21That's bad luck.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24You're going to have to drive me to the registry office and come back.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27We haven't got time. We've got to get you there, get you married,
0:16:27 > 0:16:28and leave, within the next 20 minutes.
0:16:28 > 0:16:30It's a five minute drive, man!
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Come on, or we'll be cursed for all eternity!
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Jambalaya!
0:16:42 > 0:16:44Come on, Jessop Square North!
0:16:48 > 0:16:50You're getting married in a sheet?
0:16:50 > 0:16:54It's bad luck to reveal the dress before you get there, Emma.
0:16:54 > 0:16:56She's just making stuff up now.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00Oh, what's that you've found, Emma? It's a four-leaf clover.
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Amazing! Amazing find, Emma!
0:17:03 > 0:17:05What luck, Jenny!
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Is that a fake?
0:17:07 > 0:17:08No.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10A fake?! A fake?
0:17:10 > 0:17:15Just stick it underneath your thigh sock and never mention it again.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Emma Kennedy!
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Look at your dress!
0:17:21 > 0:17:23Brenda, she is covered in mud!
0:17:27 > 0:17:32I have got a regular clover with one leaf stuck on it.
0:17:32 > 0:17:36My garter is made from a slightly damp sock.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39And my bridesmaid is filthy!
0:17:39 > 0:17:42My wedding is a disaster.
0:17:42 > 0:17:45You want more luck, Jenny? I'll get you more luck.
0:17:52 > 0:17:53There you go.
0:17:53 > 0:17:58Now, she's a chimney sweep, which, Jenny, is the best luck ever.
0:17:58 > 0:18:03Jenny, you are beautiful!
0:18:03 > 0:18:08You've got life in your belly and love in your heart!
0:18:08 > 0:18:11If that's not all the luck you need, then I don't know what.
0:18:11 > 0:18:14You could walk up that aisle dressed as a camel on a Wednesday
0:18:14 > 0:18:18and we'd still all think you were the most beautiful,
0:18:18 > 0:18:20muckiest bride we'd ever seen.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23Who needs the same old things everyone else has?
0:18:23 > 0:18:26Make your own traditions. Your own luck.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Is anyone else getting married today
0:18:28 > 0:18:31with a boy's clammy football sock tied to their thigh?
0:18:32 > 0:18:36And what does that make you? Slightly damp?
0:18:36 > 0:18:39Uniquely lucky.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41That's what.
0:18:41 > 0:18:47So stand tall. Oh, yes! Stand tall. I forgot to tell you that.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50That bit's important. Don't bend down. Here's Tony.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53This is it, Jenny.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55We're off to the registry office.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05Have you got everything? Rings? Speech? Sick bags for the car?
0:19:05 > 0:19:08The erm... Oh, the ring.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10Everybody, get in. I won't be a minute.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12# Love train
0:19:12 > 0:19:14# People all over the world
0:19:14 > 0:19:16# Join in
0:19:16 > 0:19:17# Join the love train... #
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Everybody, come close.
0:19:27 > 0:19:30Oh! OK, come on.
0:19:38 > 0:19:42# Don't you know that it's time to get on board... #
0:19:42 > 0:19:46Woo! Woo!
0:19:46 > 0:19:50Calm down! We've got ten minutes to get them married.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53I am telling you, Jenny, we have pulled this off.
0:19:53 > 0:19:55You've done wonders, Dee. Wonders!
0:19:55 > 0:19:57This is it! You're getting married!
0:20:05 > 0:20:08You've done a great job, Dee.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11I am Ishmael! Hope nobody's brought a harpoon!
0:20:11 > 0:20:14HE CHUCKLES
0:20:17 > 0:20:22You know what you are? Cutting edge fashion!
0:20:22 > 0:20:24It'll be the talk of the town, Jenny.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28Oh, I expect we'll be talking about this for years to come, Brenda.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31Years. Come on, there's another wedding after this.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34OK, David and Dee, get in there and sing your hearts out.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Emma, pick up her tail.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38I mean train.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41Tony, take her up that aisle and let's get married!
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Ah!
0:20:44 > 0:20:48'Despite forgetting to do the only job she'd been given,
0:20:48 > 0:20:51'mum had gotten away with it. She was utterly triumphant.'
0:20:53 > 0:20:55She's coming. We've done it.
0:20:55 > 0:20:57We know weddings! We know them!
0:21:02 > 0:21:05You look beautiful, Jenny. Tim's a lucky man.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07Ready?
0:21:07 > 0:21:08Ready.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10SHAKES TAMBOURINE
0:21:10 > 0:21:14# Congratulations
0:21:15 > 0:21:20# And celebrations
0:21:20 > 0:21:26# When I tell everyone that you're in love with me
0:21:26 > 0:21:28# Congratulations
0:21:28 > 0:21:30# And jubilations
0:21:30 > 0:21:33# I want the world to know how happy I can be. #
0:21:34 > 0:21:36She's all yours, mate. Thanks.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Hi, Jenny. Thanks for coming.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42You look lovely.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45Is she dressed as a whale?
0:21:45 > 0:21:47Yes, I think she is. Yes.
0:21:49 > 0:21:50Thank you. Thank you.
0:21:52 > 0:21:56Looking at the bride and groom today, I am reminded that embarking
0:21:56 > 0:22:03on marriage is like embarking on a long voyage across uncharted seas...
0:22:03 > 0:22:06No, no...
0:22:06 > 0:22:10Or to use another analogy, marriage is a circle of love.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15Today, you will exchange vows,
0:22:15 > 0:22:18which will unite you as man and whale.
0:22:18 > 0:22:20I mean wife.
0:22:20 > 0:22:24And now, the best man will read a poem of the couple's choosing.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Mary had a little lamb,
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Whose fleece was white as snow,
0:22:46 > 0:22:49And everywhere that Mary went...
0:22:49 > 0:22:51(I don't know anyone called Mary.)
0:22:51 > 0:22:54The lamb was sure to go.
0:22:54 > 0:22:57Thanks, mate. That was really moving.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00I lost the reading. What? I lost... Ahem.
0:23:04 > 0:23:07So, a man hears a knock at his back door, he opens it,
0:23:07 > 0:23:09he looks down, there's a snail there.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12Bends down, he picks up the snail and he chucks it as far as he can.
0:23:12 > 0:23:16Four years later, there's another knock on the door,
0:23:16 > 0:23:18he opens it, and the snail's there.
0:23:18 > 0:23:22The snail looks up and he says, "What did you do that for?"
0:23:24 > 0:23:27EMMA CHUCKLES I get that.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30Sorry. No, it's all right, mate. I lost the reading.
0:23:30 > 0:23:31I'll take it from here.
0:23:31 > 0:23:34(I lost the speech.)
0:23:34 > 0:23:36I had a speech written out,
0:23:36 > 0:23:40but I had an emergency last night in the loos at Curry Paradise.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Leave it, burn it, that's gone now.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50Who needs speeches? I am just a man,
0:23:50 > 0:23:53standing with his woman.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56Me, Tarzan. She, Jane.
0:23:56 > 0:24:00Aaaaarrrrrghhhhhhhhhh!
0:24:00 > 0:24:02Heh...
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Jenny...
0:24:08 > 0:24:10Beautiful, sweet Jenny.
0:24:10 > 0:24:12You smell really nice.
0:24:13 > 0:24:18You have other attributes as well, but that's your best one. Oh.
0:24:18 > 0:24:21You're going to be a brilliant mum
0:24:21 > 0:24:23and I'm really, really, really looking forward
0:24:23 > 0:24:25to having sex with you again.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Ahem.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30I am a lucky, lucky man to have you.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33And even better, we're having a baby,
0:24:33 > 0:24:36which you will look after.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38I have Tony...
0:24:38 > 0:24:39and Brenda.
0:24:39 > 0:24:42The best friends anyone could ask for.
0:24:42 > 0:24:45And Dee and David, who...I also know.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48And Emma.
0:24:48 > 0:24:52Who...is...
0:24:52 > 0:24:54a girl.
0:24:54 > 0:24:56I am!
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Life's pretty all right.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00Now, let's get married!
0:25:00 > 0:25:03THEY CHEER AND APPLAUD
0:25:04 > 0:25:06It gives me great pleasure to tell you
0:25:06 > 0:25:09that you are now husband and wife.
0:25:09 > 0:25:10CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:25:23 > 0:25:29# You'll always be the love of my life... #
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Don't bend down! EXPLOSION AND SCREAMS
0:25:38 > 0:25:40Blowhole!
0:25:40 > 0:25:42I couldn't take it out!
0:25:42 > 0:25:45# Oh, love of my life... #
0:25:45 > 0:25:47CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
0:25:47 > 0:25:50'I'd learned that luck was something you made happen yourself
0:25:50 > 0:25:54'and I still had my own promise to keep.
0:25:54 > 0:25:56Right, let's get this done!
0:25:56 > 0:25:58# Don't stop me, don't stop me
0:25:58 > 0:26:00# Don't stop me, hey, hey, hey
0:26:00 > 0:26:02# Don't stop me, don't stop me... #
0:26:02 > 0:26:06Thank crikey you're here! It's all square, 31-all.
0:26:06 > 0:26:10# Don't stop me, don't stop me
0:26:24 > 0:26:26# Oh, burning through... #
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Goal! Goal!
0:26:28 > 0:26:31Oi! You lot! Pack it in!
0:26:31 > 0:26:33We won! We won!
0:26:33 > 0:26:37CHEERING
0:26:37 > 0:26:39I knew you were lucky!
0:26:39 > 0:26:41I knew it!
0:26:41 > 0:26:44THEY CHEER
0:26:44 > 0:26:48We did it, Jessop Square South! We did it! Yes!
0:26:48 > 0:26:52# She ain't got no money her clothes are kinda funny
0:26:52 > 0:26:55# Her hair is kinda wild and free
0:26:55 > 0:27:00# Oh, but love grows where my Rosemary goes
0:27:00 > 0:27:04# And nobody knows like me
0:27:04 > 0:27:09# She talks kinda lazy and people say she's crazy
0:27:09 > 0:27:12# And her life's a mystery
0:27:12 > 0:27:16# Oh, but love grows where my Rosemary goes... #