0:00:02 > 0:00:05MUSIC: "Bring Me Sunshine"
0:00:18 > 0:00:21APPLAUSE
0:00:24 > 0:00:27Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the show.
0:00:27 > 0:00:29Wonderful audience tonight, Eric, eh?
0:00:29 > 0:00:31There's nothing like a good audience, is there?
0:00:31 > 0:00:33Looking forward to the show?
0:00:34 > 0:00:36You don't look very happy.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39Is it something I've said?
0:00:41 > 0:00:43Don't you want to do the show?
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Well, what's the matter with you?
0:00:46 > 0:00:47- RECORDING:- 'I've lost my voice.'
0:00:47 > 0:00:49LAUGHTER
0:00:49 > 0:00:50You've done what?
0:00:52 > 0:00:55'I've just told you, I've lost my voice.'
0:00:55 > 0:00:57Well, have a good cough and clear your throat.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01- 'Very well.' - HE COUGHS
0:01:01 > 0:01:02'Arsenal!'
0:01:03 > 0:01:05Have you seen the doctor?
0:01:06 > 0:01:08'Saw the doctor this afternoon.'
0:01:08 > 0:01:10I don't believe you.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12What did the doctor say?
0:01:12 > 0:01:13'Listen for yourself.'
0:01:13 > 0:01:14KNOCKS ON DOOR
0:01:14 > 0:01:15'Come in.'
0:01:15 > 0:01:18- 'Good morning, doctor.' - 'Good morning, what's your problem?'
0:01:18 > 0:01:21- 'I think I've lost my voice.' - 'I see.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23'Well, then, open your mouth.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25'Wide. Wider.'
0:01:27 > 0:01:28'Well, doctor?'
0:01:28 > 0:01:30'Laryngitis, you've lost your voice.'
0:01:30 > 0:01:32- 'But I have a show to do.' - 'Out of the question.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35'You'll have to record everything on tape and save your voice.'
0:01:35 > 0:01:37'Well, thank you very much, I'll do that.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39- 'Good day.'- 'Good day.'
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Oh, I'm sorry I doubted you, Eric.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43You've certainly lost your voice and we've got a show to do.
0:01:43 > 0:01:45We have got a problem.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48'I'm sure you'll think of something.'
0:01:48 > 0:01:49I already have.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53'I'll sing a couple of songs and fill in that way.'
0:01:53 > 0:01:56LAUGHTER
0:01:56 > 0:01:59'Just a moment, just a moment. What's the idea?'
0:02:00 > 0:02:02'Don't know what you're talking about.'
0:02:05 > 0:02:07'You're using a tape recorder.'
0:02:07 > 0:02:10'If it's good enough for you, it's good enough for me.'
0:02:12 > 0:02:14'I'll flatten you.'
0:02:16 > 0:02:18'Not being awkward at all.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20'I've lost my voice as well now.'
0:02:22 > 0:02:25RECORDING PLAYS CHEERY MUSIC
0:02:25 > 0:02:28- 'Not now, Arthur.'- 'Get up.' - 'They're all at it now.'
0:02:28 > 0:02:32- 'It's your fault.'- 'Shut up.' - 'What do you think of it so far?'
0:02:32 > 0:02:34BOTH: 'Rubbish.'
0:02:35 > 0:02:39MUSIC: "Gotcha" by Tom Scott
0:02:48 > 0:02:50LAUGHTER
0:02:57 > 0:02:59TYRES SCREECH
0:04:06 > 0:04:08APPLAUSE
0:04:08 > 0:04:10At this point in the programme, we always try
0:04:10 > 0:04:14and introduce something different, something novel, something unusual.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17- Psst.- So, tonight, we thought we'd... Yeah?- He's arrived.
0:04:17 > 0:04:18- He's arrived?- Oh, I am glad.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20LAUGHTER
0:04:20 > 0:04:22- Yes.- You said, "He's arrived."
0:04:22 > 0:04:24Yes, you said you wanted something novel in the programme.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27- That's right, who's arrived? - I've got him.- You've got him?
0:04:27 > 0:04:30- Samson the Great.- Samson the Great? - The strongest man in the world.
0:04:30 > 0:04:33- But where did you find him? - Up a tree in Harpenden.
0:04:33 > 0:04:36- A tree in Harpenden? - He's half-man, half-beast.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38- That's exactly the novelty we want. - You have never seen anything...
0:04:38 > 0:04:42- I'll show you.- All right. - Ready, Samson? One, two, three, up!
0:04:42 > 0:04:43Ooh, ooh, ooh.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47- Now, that's strength. - Magnificent!- Isn't it?
0:04:47 > 0:04:49And I'll tell you something... Samson, do me a favour, love.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Don't put your thumb there in the fleshy part.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55LAUGHTER
0:04:55 > 0:04:56That's better.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59- Strong, isn't he?- Well, he's magnificent.- You watch this.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01You ready, Samson? Up, one, two, three...ooh!
0:05:03 > 0:05:06- That's powerhouse stuff, that, isn't it?- That's wonderful!- Hey.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08Samson...
0:05:09 > 0:05:12..don't hold me there, there's a good lad.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17It's liable to come off in your hand, you see?
0:05:17 > 0:05:18LAUGHTER
0:05:18 > 0:05:20What's the matter?
0:05:20 > 0:05:23He's got me by the shoulder, he could pull it out of the socket.
0:05:23 > 0:05:26- Right. He's strong, isn't he? - He's magnificent.- Right, then.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Now, up and down, Samson, you ready?
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Oh, look at that. Ooh, ooh.
0:05:32 > 0:05:35- What do you think?- I think...- Now, that is brute strength, isn't it?
0:05:35 > 0:05:37- He must be the strongest man in the world.- Oh, he is.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39Well, bring him out and let him meet...
0:05:39 > 0:05:42- Well, I'm not so sure whether I can. - Why not?- Well, he's wild, you see.
0:05:42 > 0:05:43- Yes?- Yes.
0:05:43 > 0:05:48And I'm afraid he's got one or two nasty habits that you might not...
0:05:48 > 0:05:49Oh, don't do that, Samson.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53- It's not very nice.- What's he doing?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Scratching his ear with his foot.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58- It's terrible.- But I think we ought to bring him out.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01- Well, coax him out with a nice introduction.- All right, all right.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Well, ladies and gentlemen, you've all seen what Samson can do.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Obviously, he's the strongest man in the world.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08We might even get him to scratch his ear with his foot.
0:06:08 > 0:06:11So, ladies and gentlemen, let's give a warm welcome to Samson the Great!
0:06:11 > 0:06:13APPLAUSE
0:06:13 > 0:06:16LAUGHTER
0:06:21 > 0:06:23Very good!
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Is it switched on?
0:06:26 > 0:06:28- Samson... - You haven't brought it.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31- Samson the Great?- In the flesh. - Strongest man in the world?
0:06:31 > 0:06:33What can't speak cannot lie.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36I think we ought to just thank him for coming along here tonight.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Well, Samson, I'd just like...
0:06:38 > 0:06:39Don't! You be careful there.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42- I just saved you there from destruction.- Did you really?
0:06:42 > 0:06:43Strongest man in the world.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46He tears telephone operators in half, don't you?
0:06:48 > 0:06:50Just thank him very quietly and we'll send him home.
0:06:50 > 0:06:53I'd just like to say thank you very much, Mr Samson, for coming
0:06:53 > 0:06:57along on the show and we're all happy to see you and thank you.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00LAUGHTER
0:07:00 > 0:07:01What did you do that for?
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Well, I thought you said he was the strongest man in the world?
0:07:03 > 0:07:06Oh, do me a favour! You knew he was working a flaming forklift truck.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08I didn't know that!
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- How can a little fella lift me? - Well, I thought he was...
0:07:11 > 0:07:13No, that was in his youth.
0:07:13 > 0:07:14What about...?
0:07:14 > 0:07:15He's like me now.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19APPLAUSE
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Do you think I could get my picture on the front of Time Magazine?
0:07:22 > 0:07:23- Oh, no, no.- No?- I couldn't.
0:07:23 > 0:07:26- Why not?- Your face is too large. - Well, couldn't we get a smaller face?
0:07:26 > 0:07:27- I've got four of them.- Four of them?
0:07:27 > 0:07:31The Small Faces and here they are, folks. What a build-up for them.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33APPLAUSE
0:07:33 > 0:07:37MUSIC: "All Or Nothing" by The Small Faces
0:07:43 > 0:07:49# I thought you'd listen to my reasoning
0:07:52 > 0:07:58# But now I see you don't hear a thing
0:08:01 > 0:08:03# Try to make you see
0:08:05 > 0:08:07# How it's got to be
0:08:07 > 0:08:09# Yes, it's all right
0:08:09 > 0:08:12# All or nothing
0:08:12 > 0:08:14# Yeah, yeah
0:08:14 > 0:08:16# All or nothing
0:08:16 > 0:08:18# Ma ma ma
0:08:18 > 0:08:24# All or nothing for me
0:08:31 > 0:08:38# Things could work out just like I want them to, yeah
0:08:40 > 0:08:48# If I could have the other half of you, yeah
0:08:49 > 0:08:51# You know I would
0:08:51 > 0:08:53# Hot, yeah, yeah
0:08:53 > 0:08:56# If I only could
0:08:56 > 0:08:58# Yes, it's all right
0:08:58 > 0:09:00# All or nothing
0:09:00 > 0:09:02# Hey, yeah!
0:09:02 > 0:09:04# All or nothing
0:09:04 > 0:09:06# Ma ma my
0:09:06 > 0:09:09# All or nothing
0:09:09 > 0:09:12# For me
0:09:19 > 0:09:22# Ba ba ba ba da
0:09:22 > 0:09:24# Ba ba ba da ba
0:09:28 > 0:09:31# Ba ba ba ba da
0:09:31 > 0:09:33# Ba ba ba da ba
0:09:33 > 0:09:37# Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
0:09:37 > 0:09:41# I didn't tell you no lies, girl
0:09:41 > 0:09:46# So don't you sit there and cry, girl, yeah!
0:09:46 > 0:09:49# All or nothing
0:09:49 > 0:09:50# Hey, yeah!
0:09:50 > 0:09:52# All or nothing
0:09:52 > 0:09:55# And my children singing
0:09:55 > 0:09:57# All or nothing
0:09:57 > 0:10:01# For me. #
0:10:06 > 0:10:09APPLAUSE
0:10:12 > 0:10:14- Sorry I was late. - Oh, that's all right.
0:10:16 > 0:10:17Watch it!
0:10:20 > 0:10:22LAUGHTER
0:10:23 > 0:10:25I wouldn't stand for that if I were you.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29He hit my arm.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31He hit my arm.
0:10:31 > 0:10:32Well, hit him back.
0:10:44 > 0:10:46What do you think you're doing?
0:10:48 > 0:10:51LAUGHTER
0:10:54 > 0:10:56(He hit my foot.)
0:10:56 > 0:10:57(He hit my foot.)
0:10:57 > 0:11:00(He stamped on my foot.)
0:11:00 > 0:11:02Don't take any notice.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04He's only bluffing.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06Stamp on his foot.
0:11:25 > 0:11:26(Thank you.)
0:11:28 > 0:11:31LAUGHTER
0:11:32 > 0:11:35(Have you seen what he's done to my hat?)
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Thought he would.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41Tell him you'll fetch a policeman.
0:11:41 > 0:11:42I'll fetch a policeman.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44I am a policeman.
0:11:44 > 0:11:45He is a policeman.
0:11:47 > 0:11:49He's gone too far this time.
0:11:49 > 0:11:53- (What shall I do?) - Show him you mean business.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55Give him a good, hard punch.
0:11:57 > 0:11:58(I will.)
0:12:03 > 0:12:06LAUGHTER
0:12:13 > 0:12:16APPLAUSE
0:12:21 > 0:12:25MUSIC PLAYS
0:12:40 > 0:12:42MUSIC TEMPO INCREASES
0:12:50 > 0:12:54APPLAUSE
0:13:03 > 0:13:06CHURCH BELLS RING
0:13:16 > 0:13:18LAUGHTER
0:13:18 > 0:13:21APPLAUSE
0:13:21 > 0:13:24Look, I don't care what you say, I'm going to do this dance routine
0:13:24 > 0:13:28- with Cliff because I'm young and full of vitality.- Of course you are.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31You only need half a bottle now to watch Top Of The Pops.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35You just get on with your aeroplanes, Grandad.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38DOORBELL RINGS
0:13:38 > 0:13:41If you've got any strength left, answer the door, will you?
0:13:41 > 0:13:42That's Cliff now.
0:13:42 > 0:13:46Tell him to hang on and I'll sew some sequins on to your long johns.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48ERNIE LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY
0:13:51 > 0:13:54APPLAUSE
0:14:01 > 0:14:04- Cliff, baby!- Hello, Ernie. - How are you, Cliff? Listen, I...
0:14:04 > 0:14:05How are you, Eric?
0:14:05 > 0:14:07ERIC COUGHS
0:14:07 > 0:14:08Look at that.
0:14:11 > 0:14:12It's took off.
0:14:12 > 0:14:15LAUGHTER
0:14:15 > 0:14:17- Oh, how are you?- Oh, fine, thanks. - Nice to see you.
0:14:17 > 0:14:21- Nice to see you too.- Sit down, take the weight off your latest release.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24- Did you make that? - It's a hobby of mine, yeah.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28- It's not very good, really. - You're joking, that's beautiful.
0:14:28 > 0:14:30- You think so?- Yeah.
0:14:30 > 0:14:34Hey, Cliff, Cliff, let me tell you about my latest dance routine.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37Honestly, what happens is I come on...
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Look, look, I'll be with you in just one minute, Ernie,
0:14:40 > 0:14:43- only I've never seen workmanship like that before.- Nice, isn't it?
0:14:43 > 0:14:45- Fantastic.- It's a gift, I suppose, really.- Really?- Yeah.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47- I get it from my dad.- Oh.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51- He was an engineer on British Rail. - Was he really?
0:14:51 > 0:14:53He used to weld the croissants and the meat pies.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55LAUGHTER
0:14:55 > 0:14:59- Specialised job.- Is it? And you've always made models, have you?
0:14:59 > 0:15:00All my life.
0:15:02 > 0:15:03Made him from a kit.
0:15:03 > 0:15:06LAUGHTER
0:15:07 > 0:15:10Trouble was, when I got to his legs, I ran out of wood.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- Well, I tell you, it's very good. - It's not bad, is it?
0:15:14 > 0:15:17I mean, you can't see the join.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21I can't see the join. Did you get that one?
0:15:21 > 0:15:23You're not going to do a lot of jokes like that, are you?
0:15:23 > 0:15:25LAUGHTER
0:15:25 > 0:15:28- Why?- Well, I don't want there to be any friction between us
0:15:28 > 0:15:31because if you play your cards right, you and I could be friends.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34Cliff, Cliff, listen to this, this is the record that I thought we'd do the number to.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36- Great.- OK? Listen! Listen. - All right.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40MUSIC: "Living Doll" by Cliff Richard
0:15:43 > 0:15:44Turn that rubbish off!
0:15:46 > 0:15:48I can't stand that fella!
0:15:50 > 0:15:54- What's the matter with you?- Eh?- Here. That was Cliff singing, you fool.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57You've upset him now, that was him.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59- Cor, I'm fed up with you.- Hang on.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03- Hey, what's the matter with Eric? - Oh, he's in a bad mood.
0:16:03 > 0:16:07- Ask him why he won't do the dance routine.- All right.
0:16:07 > 0:16:11Eric, why won't you do the dance routine?
0:16:11 > 0:16:12Well, Cliff...
0:16:12 > 0:16:14You don't mind if I call you Cliff, do you, Richard?
0:16:16 > 0:16:21Well, I feel at my age now, the only thing I want to do is smoke me pipe,
0:16:21 > 0:16:24put me slippers on, and paint me models.
0:16:24 > 0:16:27- And watch Match Of The Day. - Didn't even know it was on.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30- Oh, no?- No, I didn't know it was on, I'll tell you that, sunbeam.
0:16:30 > 0:16:33- It's on television. - Nothing to do with me, I didn't even know about that.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35- That's why he didn't want to do the dance routine.- No, it isn't.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37- I just want to paint my... - Typical, that.
0:16:37 > 0:16:40- You're like a six-year-old child, you are.- Shut up!- Shut up! You see?
0:16:40 > 0:16:43"Shut up. Shut up."
0:16:45 > 0:16:48HE IMITATES PLANE ENGINE
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Come in, B for Charlie. Come in, B for Charlie.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56Bandits at six o'clock, bandits at six o'clock!
0:16:56 > 0:16:57The Archers at quarter to seven.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04Cliff, it's no good, it's no good.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07- We've got to have the three of us to do the dance routine.- I know, I know.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Now, can't you persuade him? Go on, ingratiate yourself.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13- All right. Eric...- Yes?- Here.
0:17:13 > 0:17:19Look, why don't you do this dance routine as a special favour for me?
0:17:20 > 0:17:23Well...seeing as you put it like that...
0:17:23 > 0:17:25No.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27I knew he'd say that, I knew it!
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- But for you, I will. Just for you. - Really? Now, this should be good.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34I'll show you. You're in for a treat now. You watch this.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36You watch this for dancing.
0:17:37 > 0:17:39THEY LAUGH
0:17:39 > 0:17:41- You were laughing then!- No! - You were laughing.- That was...
0:17:41 > 0:17:44No, that was really fantastic.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46You shouldn't keep a talent like that to yourself.
0:17:46 > 0:17:49- I mean, that wasn't dancing. - What do you mean, it wasn't dancing?
0:17:49 > 0:17:51That was leg poetry.
0:17:54 > 0:17:58- Leg poetry, eh?- Yeah, you make Pan's People look like a gang of navvies.
0:17:59 > 0:18:01There's no answer to that.
0:18:01 > 0:18:04I mean, look, you know, your dancing ability has been well fostered.
0:18:04 > 0:18:08It's pretty obvious to me that you have been nurtured.
0:18:08 > 0:18:11LAUGHTER
0:18:12 > 0:18:13Isn't that what they do to tom cats?
0:18:13 > 0:18:16LAUGHTER
0:18:17 > 0:18:18I think so, yes.
0:18:18 > 0:18:19Yes, I think so.
0:18:19 > 0:18:24Listen, the world has a right to enjoy your talents.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27I'm ready to rehearse when you are, I don't know why he's hanging about!
0:18:27 > 0:18:30- To rehearse what?- The number! - Oh, the dance routine?
0:18:30 > 0:18:32- He wants to do the dance routine. - Better move the table.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34I'll give you a hand, just move it over there.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37- This is what's going to happen.- I'll give you a hand, move the chair.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39Just a little bit. That's enough! That's lovely.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42- We're going to do this number, you in the front and we're...- Settee.
0:18:42 > 0:18:45- Oh.- Yes, move the settee, that's fine, OK.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47With some of these young people, you never know.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Hey, Cliff, now this is the idea, you see?
0:18:49 > 0:18:52You'll be singing up front, we'll do movements at the back.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54- Up front?- That's right. - Any particular song?
0:18:54 > 0:18:56- Yes, your latest hit, Living Doll. - Oh, yeah.
0:18:56 > 0:18:57LAUGHTER
0:18:57 > 0:19:00- Latest hit?!- You haven't forgotten it already, have you?
0:19:00 > 0:19:01It's on the radio all the time.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05- I'll play it for you, you listen. - Yeah, he'll play it for you.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Two and two and two, three.
0:19:08 > 0:19:11HE PLAYS VERY BADLY
0:19:15 > 0:19:17# Living doll! #
0:19:21 > 0:19:24OK, OK.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28- You recognise it?- Well, it's in there somewhere, innit?
0:19:28 > 0:19:31- OK!- Don't let's mess about, let's get going.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33You sing the song in the front, we'll do movements at the back.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34# I got myself... #
0:19:34 > 0:19:36Hold it!
0:19:36 > 0:19:38I wish you wouldn't do that!
0:19:38 > 0:19:40You know it gives me a headache!
0:19:40 > 0:19:43He hasn't got one, has he? He hasn't got a microphone!
0:19:43 > 0:19:45He's got to have something in his hand, hasn't he?
0:19:45 > 0:19:48That's true, yes. Well, I'll get you one of these.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53LAUGHTER
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Testing, testing, hello, hello, hello!
0:19:56 > 0:19:59- Yes, it's him.- OK. - Oh, it's the right way.
0:19:59 > 0:20:04# I got myself a crying, talking, sleeping, walking living doll
0:20:04 > 0:20:05BOTH: # Yeah, yeah, yeah!
0:20:05 > 0:20:09# Got to do my best to please her just cos she's a living doll
0:20:09 > 0:20:10# Yeah, yeah, yeah!
0:20:10 > 0:20:14# I got a roving eye and that is why she satisfies my soul
0:20:14 > 0:20:16# My soul! #
0:20:19 > 0:20:21- Where's he gone?- Eh?- He's gone!
0:20:21 > 0:20:23- I didn't hear the door slam. - No, he's disa...
0:20:31 > 0:20:33I, um...
0:20:33 > 0:20:36Well, I really don't know how to say this.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42- Don't say anything.- No. - We know it was great.
0:20:42 > 0:20:46Oh, yes, it was great, but what I really mean is, um...
0:20:46 > 0:20:50well, don't you think that the routine was a little...
0:20:50 > 0:20:51old-fashioned?
0:20:57 > 0:21:00No, no, let me put it this way.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03I'm singing a sort of young, with-it type of song,
0:21:03 > 0:21:05and your routine is just...
0:21:06 > 0:21:07..old.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12LAUGHTER
0:21:12 > 0:21:15All right, all right, look, what I'm really trying to say is this, look -
0:21:15 > 0:21:18didn't I see you do the same thing with Tom Jones?
0:21:21 > 0:21:22BOTH: Who?
0:21:22 > 0:21:24LAUGHTER
0:21:24 > 0:21:25Tom Jones.
0:21:25 > 0:21:28Curly hair? Six foot?
0:21:28 > 0:21:29Well set-up?
0:21:29 > 0:21:30That was Nina.
0:21:30 > 0:21:34LAUGHTER
0:21:34 > 0:21:37- You remember Tom Jones! - I remember him.- Yeah.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39- Wouldn't have his picture taken with us.- That's right.
0:21:39 > 0:21:42- That's right, and when he left, he was covered in managers.- Yes.
0:21:42 > 0:21:45- It's nothing personal... - It's all coming back to me now.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Nothing personal, don't get me wrong but have you got any other steps?
0:21:51 > 0:21:53- Excuse me.- Right.
0:21:53 > 0:21:54Have we got...
0:21:54 > 0:21:57Have we got another dance routine that we can do with him?
0:21:57 > 0:21:59- Well, we've only got the two, haven't we?- Sh!
0:21:59 > 0:22:02LAUGHTER
0:22:02 > 0:22:05Well, we've only got the two, haven't we?
0:22:05 > 0:22:09- Pretty Baby and Yankee Doodle Dandy. - Yes.
0:22:09 > 0:22:12Well, which one were you doing then?
0:22:12 > 0:22:13Pretty Baby.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15- Well, that's what's thrown him!- Why?
0:22:15 > 0:22:18- I was doing Yankee Doodle Dandy. - LAUGHTER
0:22:18 > 0:22:21- You weren't!- Yeah. - Well, what are we going to do?
0:22:22 > 0:22:25- We'll do Yankee Doodle Dandy.- Yeah. - But we'll do it quicker.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28See what I mean? He's only young, he won't know it.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31- Do you remember it? - Yeah, keep remembering the animals.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33One, two, three, four.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35# I'm a Yankee Doodle... #
0:22:44 > 0:22:47APPLAUSE
0:22:54 > 0:22:56- Can we do one of Ernie's plays? - Oh, yes.
0:22:56 > 0:23:00- Certainly not!- Well, but... - You've upset him now.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03- Why?- You can always tell when he starts kicking the carpet.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07Listen, all I was suggesting is that we do a more with-it routine,
0:23:07 > 0:23:10that's all, something like this, look, ready?
0:23:16 > 0:23:18- Very good!- Thank you.- Excellent.
0:23:18 > 0:23:20But we're not playing for laughs, are we?
0:23:20 > 0:23:22LAUGHTER
0:23:22 > 0:23:25- Did you see it?- It was embarrassing!
0:23:25 > 0:23:29- It was embarrassing!- I'm all right now, I'm all right now.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Nothing to it, look! Anyone can do that.
0:23:37 > 0:23:40LAUGHTER
0:23:40 > 0:23:42You're not dealing with a mug when it comes to tap dancing
0:23:42 > 0:23:46- with this fella, I'll tell you that. - Oh, I can see!- In 1937...
0:23:46 > 0:23:49Nnn!
0:23:49 > 0:23:52In 1937, he went to Miss Hunter's dancing class
0:23:52 > 0:23:55- just above the Plaza, didn't you? - Eric, is he...
0:23:55 > 0:23:58And I'm not kidding, he was the only boy in 500 girls.
0:23:58 > 0:23:59Is he all right?
0:24:01 > 0:24:03We won't take a chance, give us a hand.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07It could happen to him like this.
0:24:07 > 0:24:10- With him being nearer to the ground, you see?- Yowch!
0:24:10 > 0:24:12- He's all right now.- I've got it!
0:24:12 > 0:24:14I'm not surprised, in the position like that.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16The three of us dress as American sailors
0:24:16 > 0:24:18on a battleship dancing with mops.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23You have done it again, out of the blue, from nowhere!
0:24:23 > 0:24:27- He's great, this boy, and it's never been done, that.- Never been done!
0:24:27 > 0:24:31Never been done? I saw Gene Kelly do the same thing in a film.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Both: Gene Kelly?!
0:24:33 > 0:24:36She'd never dress up as an American sailor!
0:24:36 > 0:24:39Not since she became Princess Grace of Meccano!
0:24:39 > 0:24:41- LAUGHTER - I didn't realise.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44You've got to be guided by us, we're full of experience.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47We'll do it your way, but are you sure it's going to work?
0:24:47 > 0:24:49Of course, are you afraid of something?!
0:24:49 > 0:24:52You can have your group at the back, you know, Oliver, Newton and John!
0:24:52 > 0:24:56Three nice fellas and they work cheap, what more do you want?
0:24:56 > 0:24:59- It's fixed, then, it's fixed. And incidentally...- Yes.
0:24:59 > 0:25:01What was on Match Of The Day tonight?
0:25:01 > 0:25:03Luton.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07You rotten devil! You've done that purposely, haven't you?
0:25:07 > 0:25:09You've managed so I can't watch my favourite team!
0:25:09 > 0:25:11- I can see it all now.- Eh?
0:25:11 > 0:25:14- Lights, music...- He's snapped.
0:25:14 > 0:25:15Action!
0:25:15 > 0:25:19MARCHING BAND PLAYS
0:25:28 > 0:25:31# Hey there, mister, you'd better watch your sister
0:25:31 > 0:25:35# Cos the fleet's in, the fleet's in
0:25:35 > 0:25:38# Hey there, mister, can't say that no-one's kissed her
0:25:38 > 0:25:42# Cos the fleet's in, the fleet's in
0:25:42 > 0:25:45# If they do as well on the sea
0:25:45 > 0:25:47# As they do on the shore
0:25:48 > 0:25:53# Hey there, congress, you can tax us some more
0:25:53 > 0:25:55# Get me, I'm always kidding
0:25:55 > 0:25:57# Hey there, rookie, you'd better watch your cookie
0:25:57 > 0:26:01# Cos the fleet's in, the fleet's in
0:26:01 > 0:26:05# They'll take anything if it isn't nailed down
0:26:05 > 0:26:07# To the ground
0:26:07 > 0:26:11# She may be dark or fair, for sailors don't care
0:26:11 > 0:26:13# As long as she's wearing a gown
0:26:15 > 0:26:18# So if you love her, keep under cover
0:26:18 > 0:26:21# The fleet's in town! #
0:26:42 > 0:26:43CLATTERING
0:27:07 > 0:27:10MUSIC: "Barnacle Bill"
0:27:24 > 0:27:32# The fleet's in town! #
0:27:34 > 0:27:37APPLAUSE
0:27:43 > 0:27:48# Just around the corner may be sunshine for you
0:27:49 > 0:27:55# Just around the corner skies above may be blue
0:27:56 > 0:28:01# Keep a little smile on, that's the right thing to do
0:28:03 > 0:28:06# In a little while your troubles
0:28:06 > 0:28:09# They will disappear like bubbles
0:28:09 > 0:28:15# Just around the corner, there's a bluebird on high
0:28:16 > 0:28:21# Waiting for a rainbow in the sky
0:28:21 > 0:28:22# Why?
0:28:23 > 0:28:26# Even though it's dark and cloudy
0:28:26 > 0:28:29# Sun may peep through and say howdy
0:28:29 > 0:28:36# Just around the corner from you!
0:28:36 > 0:28:38# Hey! #
0:28:38 > 0:28:40APPLAUSE