0:00:02 > 0:00:03Ross Lee is no ordinary man.
0:00:03 > 0:00:07He's a practitioner of pranking and the public are his prey,
0:00:07 > 0:00:11a master of mischief, his mind a cyclone of stupidity,
0:00:11 > 0:00:15this is what happens when he spins out of control
0:00:15 > 0:00:18and crashes into the real world.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36Coming up...
0:00:36 > 0:00:39Take all your shit and fuck off now.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44I don't quite understand why you've done that.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Oh, my God.
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Try it before you buy it,
0:00:50 > 0:00:52starring a shifty shopper.
0:00:52 > 0:00:53And special guest,
0:00:53 > 0:00:56the garden centre assistant.
0:00:56 > 0:00:58At a garden centre somewhere
0:00:58 > 0:01:01this bouffant buffoon is searching for a barbeque.
0:01:03 > 0:01:07- All right. - Can you do us a favour and show me how this works because it's...
0:01:07 > 0:01:09- Turn it on from here.- ..it's gas.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12if I'm going to buy it I need to try it, you know?
0:01:12 > 0:01:15Am I all right just having a look at it for a couple of minutes
0:01:15 > 0:01:18- before I decide then I'll give you a shout?- No worries.
0:01:30 > 0:01:32Are you having a laugh?
0:01:32 > 0:01:33Get it off.
0:01:33 > 0:01:35- Get what off? - Take all that stuff off.
0:01:35 > 0:01:39- They're nearly ready these, look. - Take them off and get out.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41Have a beer, chill out, come on.
0:01:41 > 0:01:42Take all your shit...
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Look, I'm not going to buy it if I've not tried it, here you are.
0:01:45 > 0:01:47I don't care, take your stuff and go.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50- Are you vegetarian? - Shut up and get out.
0:01:50 > 0:01:53Come on, what's wrong with you? It's a bit ungrateful.
0:01:53 > 0:01:58Here I am cooking us some burgers, what am I supposed to put my burgers in?
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Here would you say that were cooked?
0:02:00 > 0:02:04- Look, take your hat...- But. - Now you see that exit? Go. Now.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06- Because...- Go now.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08- Because I need to... - Go now.- Cos...
0:02:08 > 0:02:10- Could I have a sausage?- Go away.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Look, right, if you buy a car, right, if you buy a car
0:02:13 > 0:02:15sometimes you've got to test drive the actual car,
0:02:15 > 0:02:16do you know what I mean?
0:02:16 > 0:02:18- Do us a favour.- Yeah.
0:02:18 > 0:02:21And fuck off now and take your fucking stuff.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25Meanwhile across town...
0:02:25 > 0:02:27The old lady incident,
0:02:27 > 0:02:30featuring the old lady
0:02:30 > 0:02:33and the young, innocent Adam.
0:02:33 > 0:02:38Everyone knows old dogs can't learn new tricks but what about this dusty old bird?
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Yes, thank you.
0:02:40 > 0:02:46Adam's enjoying a quiet drink but an unexpected revelation looms.
0:02:48 > 0:02:50SHE GARGLES
0:03:04 > 0:03:06Oh!
0:03:06 > 0:03:08Oh, oh!
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Oh.
0:03:15 > 0:03:17SHE PANTS
0:03:17 > 0:03:20SHE STRAINS
0:03:22 > 0:03:24Oh...
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Oh. Ah!
0:03:35 > 0:03:37I never knew I could do that.
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Game, set and snatch.
0:03:46 > 0:03:49Nightmares in babysitting.
0:03:49 > 0:03:52Starring Boris the 13-year-old boy,
0:03:52 > 0:03:54his mum and dad and Becky,
0:03:54 > 0:03:57the blissfully unaware babysitter.
0:03:57 > 0:04:00Becky's been called to the care of what she believes to be
0:04:00 > 0:04:02a tiger-faced teenage boy.
0:04:02 > 0:04:06With Mummy and Daddy dispatched Boris informs Becky
0:04:06 > 0:04:09of an urgent photography assignment he must finish for school.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12What do you take pictures of? What's it about?
0:04:12 > 0:04:15- It's called the best days of our lives.- OK.
0:04:15 > 0:04:19Becky agrees to assist the stripy-faced cherub
0:04:19 > 0:04:22and why not, he's just an innocent little boy.
0:04:22 > 0:04:27You've passed your driving test, can you shout hurrah really loud while you do it?
0:04:27 > 0:04:29- Yep yep.- Like that.
0:04:29 > 0:04:33- Five, four, three, two, one, hurrah!- Hurrah!
0:04:37 > 0:04:42- Right.- Oh, brilliant. - I found all these, these are old exercise books from years ago.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44- Right, OK. - I want you to rip them all up.
0:04:44 > 0:04:46You really want me to rip them?
0:04:48 > 0:04:50- Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:04:50 > 0:04:55- They're not your books from now? - No, no, no, just rubbish.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- Right, are you ready to start ripping?- Yeah!
0:04:58 > 0:05:01- And yeah.- Yeah!
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Ahhhh. Chuck it in the air,
0:05:03 > 0:05:05chuck it in the air!
0:05:05 > 0:05:08- Yeah, yeah.- Yeah!
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Right, that's lovely.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Da, da, da, daa!
0:05:12 > 0:05:13Where did you get this from?
0:05:13 > 0:05:16- Look at that.- Off the internet. - Bought it off the internet.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18Oh, that's brilliant.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22Cos the thing is, your wedding day, it's like a really big party, innit?
0:05:22 > 0:05:25- A huge party. - What we're going to do is
0:05:25 > 0:05:28we're going to ruffle up your dress.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30No, don't cut it.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32No, I bought it for this.
0:05:32 > 0:05:34Problem is, is it safer...
0:05:34 > 0:05:38If I take those off of you, could you just rip it a bit of that dress?
0:05:38 > 0:05:40I don't want to cut your legs.
0:05:40 > 0:05:41That's it.
0:05:41 > 0:05:44If only life could be like this all the time, that would be nice.
0:05:44 > 0:05:45I know.
0:05:45 > 0:05:47Oh, that's good.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53Can you hold up some of the torn bits for the camera?
0:05:53 > 0:05:55- Yeah.- Right, right, here we go.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Oh, that's great right!
0:05:58 > 0:06:01- Put tomato ketchup on as well. - We'll...- No.- ..make it too messy.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Don't get it all over the carpet.
0:06:05 > 0:06:06Can I just adjust that back...
0:06:06 > 0:06:08right...
0:06:10 > 0:06:12Right, can you hold the champagne? There you go.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15Ahh...
0:06:15 > 0:06:18You hold those scissors like that, right.
0:06:18 > 0:06:19Let me just,
0:06:19 > 0:06:23oh, that's it.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Nearly there.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Oh, nearly there.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29Oh, nearly there.
0:06:38 > 0:06:39Becky?
0:06:39 > 0:06:41Yeah?
0:06:41 > 0:06:43Is that my wedding dress you've got on?
0:06:43 > 0:06:45No, he said he bought it off eBay.
0:06:49 > 0:06:52- Oh, my God. - I'm so sorry, I didn't know.
0:06:52 > 0:06:55What's going on? I don't understand what's going on.
0:06:55 > 0:07:00I was trying to help him with his project, he said this is what would happen with his project.
0:07:00 > 0:07:04- Where is he, Boris? - He's at the back, there, trying to rip this.
0:07:04 > 0:07:07Boris, what have you got to say? I'm a bit upset.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Well, when you left I said, "Can we do some homework?"
0:07:10 > 0:07:13- she went, "Don't, it's for nunnies." - I did not say.
0:07:13 > 0:07:17Ripping up my exercise books. I was like, "I've got to hand that in tomorrow."
0:07:17 > 0:07:21I look up, she's run upstairs and she was in your cupboard, got your wedding dress and said...
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Where would I even know where to get it from?
0:07:24 > 0:07:28She took this picture then put me under her dress and I was suffocating.
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Can I just say something? This is total rubbish, I never...
0:07:31 > 0:07:32I haven't been anywhere near...
0:07:32 > 0:07:38Why would I even go upstairs? I haven't been upstairs, he said he bought this off eBay for £12.50.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40It's my designer wedding dress.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42I didn't know.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47I swear to God on my life, trying to get his homework done.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49Can we salsa dance again?
0:07:49 > 0:07:50No! I was trying to help him...
0:07:50 > 0:07:52Boris, stop it.
0:07:52 > 0:07:55He told me to put this dress on,
0:07:55 > 0:07:59I had no idea that it was your dress and he squirted me with ketchup.
0:07:59 > 0:08:00- Becky.- What?- Can I have a hug?
0:08:00 > 0:08:02- No, you can't.- Can I have a hug?
0:08:02 > 0:08:08I'm really angry, to be quite honest, I was trying to help him with his homework, I didn't know.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Becky, do you want me to take a picture of you?
0:08:13 > 0:08:18Slaphead, starring Slaphead.
0:08:18 > 0:08:21And special guest, Kim the stylist.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05The new tenant.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Starring a house-hunting medium.
0:09:07 > 0:09:11And special guest, Neil, the estate agent.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14New Age Ross is house hunting
0:09:14 > 0:09:17and it's Neil's job to sell him one
0:09:17 > 0:09:20but Ross is more interested in what the spirits have to say.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24Do you know why the current owners are renting the place out?
0:09:24 > 0:09:25No.
0:09:25 > 0:09:27Do you know if they've been happy?
0:09:27 > 0:09:32- I imagine they have yeah.- Yeah? - Yeah, I mean it looks like a happy house so...
0:09:32 > 0:09:37I'm sensing something quite sad that took place.
0:09:37 > 0:09:39Going to look upstairs?
0:09:39 > 0:09:42Great.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44There's many spirits in this room,
0:09:44 > 0:09:49- there's a beautiful lady that I can see here called Rosemary.- Right.
0:09:49 > 0:09:54- Rosemary, she thinks we should take the place.- That's good, yeah.
0:09:54 > 0:09:57In fact, Neil, could you just give me one minute on my own in the room,
0:09:57 > 0:10:01just to deal with the spirit, just to get a feel for the energy.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03- Yeah.- Thank, you thank you.
0:10:03 > 0:10:08- I tell you what, cos I need to get some pictures so I'll just quickly set up downstairs so...- Sure. OK.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19MUMBLING UPSTAIRS
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Fuck!
0:10:32 > 0:10:33Ross, what you doing?!
0:10:33 > 0:10:34Oh, Ross.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36HE SQUEALS
0:10:36 > 0:10:38What the fuck?
0:10:41 > 0:10:45Dan you've got to get here, mate, this guy's a...
0:10:45 > 0:10:49He's got like skulls and shit on the floor. Dan, come here quick, man!
0:10:51 > 0:10:54Oh, the geezer's just like...
0:10:54 > 0:10:57Dan, seriously, mate, you better come here now.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58HOWLING
0:11:00 > 0:11:03Oh, Dan, man, this geezer's just fucking...
0:11:03 > 0:11:06Shall I ring the police?
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Oh, I'm going to ring the police, mate.
0:11:08 > 0:11:11What have you done to the landlord's sheet?
0:11:12 > 0:11:13Ross, what are you doing?
0:11:13 > 0:11:16Ross, we've gotta go, we've gotta leave.
0:11:19 > 0:11:20You can't do this.
0:11:27 > 0:11:28Ross!
0:11:34 > 0:11:38Ross? You've gotta get up, you've gotta leave.
0:11:38 > 0:11:42I don't want to be negative but I don't think this house is the right house for me.
0:11:42 > 0:11:46That's fine, mate, you've gotta go though, seriously you can't...
0:11:46 > 0:11:47Hello, Darren?
0:11:47 > 0:11:50I need somewhere with a bigger downstairs toilet, yeah?
0:11:50 > 0:11:53- Right, OK.- Er, OK.
0:11:53 > 0:11:56Blind date disaster.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59Starring a single white male,
0:11:59 > 0:12:02an entire restaurant who are wise to the scam,
0:12:02 > 0:12:04and the hapless, helpless Holly.
0:12:04 > 0:12:09Holly's very best friends have set her up on the very worst blind date.
0:12:09 > 0:12:13There's no love on the menu tonight though, only mayhem.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15Cheers, glad to see you.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Go on then, let me hear your Ringo Starr.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21I used to be a Beatle.
0:12:21 > 0:12:24Holly's about to meet an unexpected guest.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Do you want to, do you want to see him?
0:12:26 > 0:12:28Go on, let me see him.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Da daaa!
0:12:33 > 0:12:37That's uncle Richard and Ross is explaining how he employs the puppet
0:12:37 > 0:12:42to educate young people about the perils and pitfalls of growing up.
0:12:42 > 0:12:44So what would your set be? OK, say,
0:12:44 > 0:12:49I'm a child, eight years old, and I wanted to start smoking or I wanted to smoke,
0:12:49 > 0:12:51how would you advise me not to smoke?
0:12:51 > 0:12:55That is very interesting because we would do this with a game we'd do with the kids.
0:12:55 > 0:12:57What's the game?
0:12:57 > 0:13:03It's just say no words and guess what I'm on.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06OK, I'm intrigued, go on.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08Uncle Richard,
0:13:08 > 0:13:11are you ready to take your first drug?
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Here we go,
0:13:14 > 0:13:18you've gotta guess what he's on.
0:13:18 > 0:13:19OK.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27- I can't remember what I'm laughing at.- You what?
0:13:27 > 0:13:30I can't remember what I'm laughing at.
0:13:31 > 0:13:33Is there a garage around here?
0:13:33 > 0:13:34Got any chocolate?
0:13:34 > 0:13:38Got any chocolate, what am I on?
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Wow, oh, don't ask me, I don't know anything about drugs.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46- I am off my tits...- Yes.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48..on marijuana.
0:13:48 > 0:13:51But then wouldn't most drugs make you like that,
0:13:51 > 0:13:52paranoid and...
0:13:52 > 0:13:57They're all so different, you see, this is why we do this exercise.
0:13:57 > 0:14:01Uncle Richard, are you ready to take your next drug?
0:14:01 > 0:14:08Wow wow, I tell you what, I am the funniest person in this restaurant,
0:14:08 > 0:14:14Oh, everything... Look at that, it's mental, in't it? Everything I say is absolutely amazing!
0:14:14 > 0:14:18Oh, God, I'm just mad for it, I'm just going to go to the toilet.
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Wow, outburst.
0:14:20 > 0:14:25- Where was I? Oh, yeah, oh, my head I'm not talking about...- Excuse me.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29Oi, shut it! Can't you see I'm in the middle of a serious conversation?
0:14:29 > 0:14:30Excuse me, can you not be so rude.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32- Rude cow.- Sssshh.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35- We're just doing a bit of... - Excuse me.- ..role playing, sorry.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38OK, can you maybe just keep it down a little bit?
0:14:38 > 0:14:40- There's other people here. - OK, sorry about that.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Ssshhh.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44Stupid bitch!
0:14:44 > 0:14:46- Oh, I'm just going to the toilet. - Sssshhh.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49Eh, what you looking at?
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Get on with your dinner and on with your Lego-haired bird,
0:14:52 > 0:14:54cheeky bastard!
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Ha ha, I'm so funny, I'm going to go to the toilet.
0:14:56 > 0:15:00- Uncle Richard needs to go. Seriously, no, now.- What am I on?
0:15:00 > 0:15:03- Uncle Richard needs to go. - I am off my tits...
0:15:03 > 0:15:06- You are, but Uncle Richard needs to go now.- ..on cocaine.
0:15:06 > 0:15:09Yep. Uncle Richard needs to go.
0:15:10 > 0:15:11Sorry.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16The kids do love that one though, they respond well.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19I have to admit though, you can't do that here,
0:15:19 > 0:15:22you can't, you really, really can't.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23Not in here.
0:15:27 > 0:15:29No, no, I'm not kidding now, seriously.
0:15:29 > 0:15:34He does do a friendlier, more fun thing that...
0:15:34 > 0:15:36And I swear you...
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Not here, definitely not here.
0:15:38 > 0:15:40CLEARS THROAT Sssshhh.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42No.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45# As we get older our bodies start to grow... #
0:15:45 > 0:15:49- No, honestly. - # It happens to our chest and dangly bits below
0:15:49 > 0:15:53# Boys stat to smell and their voices start to crack
0:15:53 > 0:15:58- # As their testicles bulge in their ever growing sack... # - Seriously, no.
0:15:58 > 0:16:01# But it's as simple as ABC
0:16:01 > 0:16:06# We all need to go through puberty
0:16:06 > 0:16:07# Ba ba ba bum bum... #
0:16:07 > 0:16:09No, stop, stop, seriously now.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12# Girls grow boobies Boys get hairy legs
0:16:12 > 0:16:16# Girls grow ovaries so they can grow eggs
0:16:16 > 0:16:20# They get bad tempered as the blood starts to stream
0:16:20 > 0:16:25# And boys will want to change their sheets after a wet dream
0:16:25 > 0:16:27# It's as simple as ABC
0:16:27 > 0:16:32# We all need to go through puberty
0:16:32 > 0:16:35# Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, boo! #
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Holly, Holly, don't go!
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Holly?
0:16:39 > 0:16:40Holly do you fancy a...
0:16:40 > 0:16:43fancy a threesome?
0:16:44 > 0:16:46The bargain hunter.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Starring a very unreasonable man
0:16:48 > 0:16:51and waiting in the wings is James the shopkeeper,
0:16:51 > 0:16:53a very reasonable man.
0:16:55 > 0:17:01There we are, you're a scholar and a gentleman, thank you very much indeed.
0:17:09 > 0:17:15I'll take that and I'll, er, take that, thank you very much.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17And I'll have the 50% discount.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19What's that?
0:17:19 > 0:17:21Well, it's...
0:17:24 > 0:17:26I can't do that.
0:17:26 > 0:17:30Legs, 100% knackered.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34- Mmm-hmm.- Discount requested 50%.
0:17:34 > 0:17:35You do the math, pal.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40You doing the math?
0:17:40 > 0:17:41Mmm.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45I can't give discounts to people, I'm not the manager.
0:17:45 > 0:17:54- So you are not going to give me my 50% discount, is that correct?- Yeah.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57Ooo, oh, dear, oh, dear.
0:17:57 > 0:17:59Now look what's happened.
0:18:00 > 0:18:05Hello? Ambulance chasing, no win, no fee solicitors?
0:18:05 > 0:18:07Yes?
0:18:07 > 0:18:11I was just wheeling myself around a hardware store when I was impaled
0:18:11 > 0:18:13by a loosely hanging screwdriver,
0:18:13 > 0:18:15what's that you say?
0:18:15 > 0:18:17£1 million compensation.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20Sue them for £1 million all you like.
0:18:20 > 0:18:24The chances of that happening again?
0:18:27 > 0:18:30Yes, I think that's very highly likely, yes.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33I don't quite understand why you've just done that.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35If I can't sway you I'll have to pay the full price.
0:18:35 > 0:18:38- What's the price, £14.99? - £14.99 yeah.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41There we are, sir, thank you very much.
0:18:41 > 0:18:44- I'll leave these out of the bag. - Yeah.- Take them as they are.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Give me a hand out the door if that's all right?
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Toodle pip, sir.
0:18:52 > 0:18:55It's PC gone mad.
0:18:55 > 0:19:00Introducing a very special constable and boy racin' Jason.
0:19:10 > 0:19:12Is this your vehicle sir?
0:19:12 > 0:19:14Yes.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17I was worried you were going to say that.
0:19:17 > 0:19:22Therefore it is my civic duty to inform you that this car is shit.
0:19:22 > 0:19:23You what?
0:19:23 > 0:19:27It's an utter piece of metallically-painted metal crap that could only be driven
0:19:27 > 0:19:31by a cock-smoking metrosexual hair dressing ponce like your good self.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Therefore I'd like you to scrap this monstrosity
0:19:35 > 0:19:38and buy something that won't make your parents ashamed
0:19:38 > 0:19:42that you all share the same DNA, do you understand?
0:19:44 > 0:19:46- I'm doing you a favour. - What's that then?
0:19:46 > 0:19:49You're lucky that I didn't nick you
0:19:49 > 0:19:53for driving under the influence of looking like a cock.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58Now move along, before I change my mind.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Meet the movie buff.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Starring the new boyfriend.
0:20:20 > 0:20:25His accomplice, Kelly and the innocent, Adam and Nicole.
0:20:25 > 0:20:31A toast I think to, er, well, meeting the family.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34Now listen, Kelly's not really Ross's girlfriend
0:20:34 > 0:20:38but she's set up her sister Nicola and her sisters fiance Adam
0:20:38 > 0:20:42and said she is his girlfriend so she can invite them to her house for lunch
0:20:42 > 0:20:45so he can meet them for the very first time. Got that? Splendid.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Are you hungry? Shall I serve the food?
0:20:47 > 0:20:50Yeah, whenever you're ready.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52I want to go to the toilet, I'll be two seconds sorry.
0:20:52 > 0:20:55So far they're having a wonderful evening
0:20:55 > 0:20:57and it's high time for some movie chat.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Any Jodie Foster fans out there?
0:21:00 > 0:21:04Talking of films, I watched an amazing movie last night that I've never seen before,
0:21:04 > 0:21:08um, God, what was it called?
0:21:08 > 0:21:09There was a...
0:21:09 > 0:21:12There's a policewoman and she's not been doing it,
0:21:12 > 0:21:14she's not been on the job that long,
0:21:14 > 0:21:18there's a chap who's like in prison, er, and they keep going to visit him,
0:21:18 > 0:21:25there's this really made scene in it where there's a bloke and he's like,
0:21:25 > 0:21:27he's sewing stuff together.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31There's a girl in a hole,
0:21:31 > 0:21:35hang on a minute, hang on, I've got an idea hang on, hang on.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38- Are you two all right? - Yeah, yeah, fine.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Hang on one second, one second.
0:21:42 > 0:21:43What was on the telly last night?
0:21:43 > 0:21:45There was a movie, erm...
0:21:47 > 0:21:51I flipped over and it said psychological thriller.
0:21:51 > 0:21:59That's why I was trying to think what it was. I've probably got it on DVD.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56OK, where's my sister?
0:22:58 > 0:23:00I'm leaving.
0:23:10 > 0:23:15Oh, I've got it, Silence Of the lambs.
0:23:15 > 0:23:19It's a shame they didn't stick around for a nice Chianti and some fava beans.
0:23:19 > 0:23:20Fa, fa, fa, fa...
0:23:22 > 0:23:24The blockage.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26Starring a plucky plumber,
0:23:26 > 0:23:28a troublesome toilet.
0:23:28 > 0:23:30And playing herself, Jaclyn.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32the office temp.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38- Hello.- Hi there.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42Right, so I hear that you're blocked?
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Yes, we'll, I'm just temping.
0:23:44 > 0:23:46- Right.- This is the offending toilet in here.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50- This is the offending toilet? I'll get to work then, thanks very much.- OK, bye.
0:24:01 > 0:24:07Excuse me love, er well, I don't suppose you've got any reason why you know that would be...
0:24:07 > 0:24:10Oh, my God, a fish?
0:24:10 > 0:24:14It looks like a sardine, or is it a sprat?
0:24:14 > 0:24:18Sprat? Yeah, or actually it looks like a sardine to me.
0:24:18 > 0:24:23- I mean, the thing is I know that's not actually big enough to block.- Block it.- The toilet so...
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Why is there a fish down there?
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Can I leave that with you, is that OK?
0:24:27 > 0:24:30If you just pop it on some paper, right,
0:24:30 > 0:24:32I'm going to continue with my investigations.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35Never know, might find it's mum and dad there.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37You never know, love.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41- Might find a cod and a salmon! - You never know. - You could have dinner.
0:24:44 > 0:24:46Bugger me!
0:24:46 > 0:24:49What the hell is that?
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Oh, hey!
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Aren't you a handsome fella?
0:24:57 > 0:25:00I don't, I don't believe that, I don't believe.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03I'm just going to have to air this out a bit.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08Right, it's nothing to worry about, so the toilets now unblocked,
0:25:08 > 0:25:10I've put the blockage on the floor
0:25:10 > 0:25:12so if you tell the cleaners
0:25:12 > 0:25:16- they'll get rid of the blockage for you.- OK. - You'll have no more problems now.
0:25:16 > 0:25:19That's the most peculiar thing I've ever seen in my life.
0:25:19 > 0:25:21Unbelievable.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24- Well, have a good day anyway. - Thank you.- Bye.
0:25:33 > 0:25:35Oh, my God!
0:25:46 > 0:25:48Hello...
0:25:49 > 0:25:50Hello.
0:25:55 > 0:25:56Well, I never.
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Oh... oh.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07Emma, please come back, there is a fucking penguin
0:26:07 > 0:26:10wandering around with toilet tissue stuck to it.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14# Just the two of us... #
0:26:14 > 0:26:16You have been watching...
0:26:16 > 0:26:18There's cameras here.
0:26:18 > 0:26:19I'm tripping out.
0:26:19 > 0:26:22There's cameras there.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25She put it up her bum.
0:26:28 > 0:26:33The most fucked up thing I've ever witnessed.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36There's cameras, we've been looking at you the whole time.
0:26:36 > 0:26:37No! Will I be on TV?
0:26:37 > 0:26:39I'm very gullible, this is not good for me!
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Give me a kiss.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45Next time on The Pranker...
0:26:57 > 0:26:58Keris! Keris!
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:27:07 > 0:27:09Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk