0:00:02 > 0:00:03Ross Lee is no ordinary man.
0:00:03 > 0:00:07He's a practitioner of pranking and the public are his pray.
0:00:07 > 0:00:11A master of mischief, his mind a cyclone of stupidity.
0:00:11 > 0:00:18This is what happens when he spins out of control and crashes into the real world.
0:00:18 > 0:00:25This programme contains some strong language and some adult humour.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40Shouldn't take too long, I don't want you to get hurt.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46- Have you got more proof? - I intend to call the police.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49Do you mind just watching my instrument for me, please?
0:00:50 > 0:00:53Carys! Carys!
0:01:01 > 0:01:05Shakespeare said, "If music be the food of love, then play on."
0:01:05 > 0:01:09Amanda is about to witness a performance that will definitely put her off her lunch.
0:01:09 > 0:01:13Excuse me. Would you mind watching my instrument for me for one second?
0:01:13 > 0:01:16- Lavatory's not big enough for the both of us.- OK.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Thank you.
0:01:34 > 0:01:38NOTES PLAY
0:01:40 > 0:01:43HE PLAYS A TUNE
0:01:51 > 0:01:53I, er, never knew I could do that.
0:02:12 > 0:02:18Skinny scally Ross has just racked up a big fat £16 cab fare
0:02:18 > 0:02:23and told Howard he needs to nip into the house to get some cash.
0:02:25 > 0:02:30- All right, mate?- Yeah, I've come about the fare for the cab.- Sorry, mate?
0:02:30 > 0:02:33Ross, he's just come in here. He's got to pay the cab.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Ross is my... Our kid, right?
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Bloke with the white cap on.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40He's not in here now, I've been up since...
0:02:40 > 0:02:44- Definitely not, I wasn't expecting him back. He's just come in now? - Yeah.
0:02:44 > 0:02:48He says he's got to see his brother to get the money off him for the cab.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51- How much does he owe you for the taxi?- £16.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53He's a little shit, I tell ya.
0:02:53 > 0:02:58Well, it's got to be paid, mate, otherwise I've got to call the police.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02- Do you want a stereo?- No. - Here's a fiver, you can have that. - It's £16 or the police are here.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06My sister's upstairs, yeah? I'll see if she's got some dough. Can you just bear with us?
0:03:06 > 0:03:11- I'll give you two minutes then I'm calling the police. - I'll get the money off her now.
0:03:16 > 0:03:19- So, what can I do for you?- Well, I need paying for the cab fare.
0:03:19 > 0:03:21I haven't ordered a cab.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24- No. Ross has.- Ross isn't here.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26That your car?
0:03:26 > 0:03:29- Yeah.- Nice.
0:03:29 > 0:03:34- Me boyfriend's just got a Mondeo.- Are you paying or not? Yes or no?- Have you got any more proof than that?
0:03:34 > 0:03:37Right, I intend to call the police. You're taking the piss.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41- I've got the money.- Pay now or the police are coming, I'm not messing.
0:03:41 > 0:03:46I'm going to get it right now. I'm going to get it. I'm getting it, I'm getting it right now.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50Right, hang on. Me nana's got it. Hang on a minute.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53- Nana! He needs the money! - You've got one minute.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58- Hey up, love.- Yes?
0:03:58 > 0:04:00Right, look, sorry about this.
0:04:00 > 0:04:05I want to get this straight. You've had our Ross, right, little bastard, in your car. He owes you 16...
0:04:05 > 0:04:06- Have you got £16?- 16 quid.
0:04:06 > 0:04:11- Well, I just wanted to make sure you were who you were saying you are.- You know who I am.
0:04:11 > 0:04:16I don't know who you are. Oi, look. Here, don't go. Look, I've got some meat here.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20Do you want some meat instead? Nice fresh pork.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23Oh, not good enough for you, is it? Right. Supper time.
0:04:39 > 0:04:43# Grandma, we love you... #
0:04:43 > 0:04:48All right, pal? Er, how much is it to dry-clean a shirt?
0:04:48 > 0:04:52Just, er, 5.50.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56Right. Well, the thing is, this is my lucky pulling shirt.
0:04:56 > 0:05:00Every time I put this shirt on, the dreams of a special little lady come true.
0:05:00 > 0:05:06So if it gets damaged, there will be a lot of ladies out there that are also quite damaged, yeah?
0:05:06 > 0:05:10The last time I wore it, the night got a bit messy, right?
0:05:10 > 0:05:15And the shirt ended up getting covered in stains, as you see. Like here, dry sherry.
0:05:15 > 0:05:21- And that's frosted pink lipstick. - Yeah.- You see, there?- I see.
0:05:21 > 0:05:23And then if you smell this, smell it.
0:05:23 > 0:05:29- It's got a faint smell of mothballs, yeah?- Yeah.- So, will that come out?
0:05:29 > 0:05:34- Yeah, definitely. It should be fine. - So, tomorrow night, I can be back loving some ladies?
0:05:34 > 0:05:36- Yeah.- Great.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43- You got a telephone number, please? - Right, 063...
0:05:44 > 0:05:48# Honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow... #
0:05:48 > 0:05:52Oh, sorry. 07749...
0:05:54 > 0:05:58# Girl, you know I'm loving your Loving your style... #
0:05:58 > 0:06:0129... Phhh!
0:06:01 > 0:06:06- I'm sorry, I've completely lost it. - That's OK.- Can you just excuse me, just for one second.- Yeah.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10- There's just something I really have to do.- OK.
0:06:10 > 0:06:13Ooh!
0:06:13 > 0:06:15# Lift us up where we belong
0:06:18 > 0:06:22# Where the eagles fly
0:06:22 > 0:06:26# On a mountain high... #
0:06:33 > 0:06:39Sorry, mate. Sorry, mate. But this is, if I'm not mistaken...
0:06:39 > 0:06:44That is a 1932 Great Yarmouth vintage.
0:06:44 > 0:06:50You can't beat an older lady with experience. You know what I'm saying?
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Oh, yes. Wonderful.
0:06:52 > 0:06:56Oooh, oh!
0:06:56 > 0:06:58- You OK?- I'm fine, thank you.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00I only came in to pick up my gimp mask.
0:07:24 > 0:07:26Hello?
0:07:26 > 0:07:33Hello. Please state the name of the name of the person that you are here to see.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Joanna Edwards.
0:07:35 > 0:07:42Error. Two names quoted. Please state one name only.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Edwards.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Edward. Please state the surname.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51No. Joanna Edwards.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Please state one name only.
0:07:54 > 0:07:59Joanna. Oh, for God's sake.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02Jo Ellery. Is that correct?
0:08:02 > 0:08:04No.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08Are you, A - a business associate,
0:08:08 > 0:08:12B - a delivery person,
0:08:12 > 0:08:16C - a friend or D - none of the above.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18B - delivery.
0:08:18 > 0:08:19Thank you.
0:08:19 > 0:08:23D - none of the listed options.
0:08:26 > 0:08:28Goodbye.
0:08:36 > 0:08:41This poodle perm patron wants to buy new instruments.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45Like any sensible shopper, he won't buy anything without trying it first.
0:08:45 > 0:08:50- All right, mate. Am I OK just having a look around?- Yeah, sure.- Wicked.
0:08:50 > 0:08:56In fact, if you just give me a little run down, would be great.
0:08:56 > 0:08:57On. Right.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Wicked, mate. Wicked. I'll just, er...
0:09:01 > 0:09:05HE SINGS A SCALE # Ahh, ahhh, ahhh!
0:09:05 > 0:09:08# Haah! Haah!
0:09:08 > 0:09:11# Haa! Haaa! Haa!
0:09:11 > 0:09:13# Haa! Haa! Haa!
0:09:13 > 0:09:16LOUDER: # Haa! Haa! Haa!
0:09:16 > 0:09:19# Haa! Haa! Haa! Haa!
0:09:19 > 0:09:24# Haa! Haa! Haa! Haa!
0:09:24 > 0:09:26HIGH-PITCHED: # Haaaaaa! #
0:09:39 > 0:09:43Yeah, but I'd have it that loud.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Just like Hendrix that, in't it?
0:09:52 > 0:09:55If I want to buy it, I want to try it.
0:09:58 > 0:09:59Drums.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Can I just have a little... Just a tiny...
0:10:12 > 0:10:14All right.
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Thank you, Wembley!
0:10:39 > 0:10:44- See you later! I tell you what... - I'm calling security, mate.- I've tried it, I don't want to buy it.
0:10:58 > 0:11:04- Hello.- I need to commandeer your computer for important police business, OK?- Yeah.
0:11:04 > 0:11:09Thank you. Right, treacle. If you stand here. Shouldn't take too long, I don't want you to get hurt.
0:11:09 > 0:11:14Yeah, 693. At the computer. If you could just confirm the address?
0:11:14 > 0:11:21- I believe it was something to do with YouTube, over?- '771, roger that.'
0:11:21 > 0:11:24"Sneezing Panda", yes? Over.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27'That's correct. 771, roger that.'
0:11:27 > 0:11:33Right, OK. I'm now looking at a very large panda - black-and-white, fat little thing.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35There's a little baby in front... HE LAUGHS
0:11:35 > 0:11:41The baby has just sneezed. The panda has just jumped a mile.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Do you have any more? Over.
0:11:47 > 0:11:50'Roger that, 771.
0:11:50 > 0:11:53'"Charlie Bit Finger". Over.'
0:11:53 > 0:11:58Love, this is very important. If you wouldn't mind just going to make me a cup of tea.
0:11:58 > 0:12:02Two sugars. That would be lovely. Thank you very much.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04"Evolution Of Dance."
0:12:04 > 0:12:07- I can't find the tea bags. - Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Do you do this often?
0:12:09 > 0:12:15Listen, love, I do advise you in future though to always make sure you know where the tea bags are, yes?
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- OK.- OK. Now, go carefully.- OK.
0:12:24 > 0:12:27What the hell just happened?
0:12:27 > 0:12:30# Blud, when you hear them sirens coming
0:12:30 > 0:12:31# I can hear them sirens coming... #
0:12:40 > 0:12:43This sorry soul is sadly unable to move his arms
0:12:43 > 0:12:49and is offering to paint portraits using his left foot for only £10.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53Carys is impressed by the paintings on display and is now
0:12:53 > 0:12:57eagerly awaiting a beautiful portrait of her lovely self.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02So, when did you discover you could do this with your foot?
0:13:02 > 0:13:05You learn these things, it's all about training.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08Er, Hannah, could I just have a quick drink, please?
0:13:15 > 0:13:19I'm just getting the fine detail in now.
0:13:19 > 0:13:24I just need to use some very soft, subtle strokes to bring out the beautiful pigmentation in your eyes.
0:13:32 > 0:13:37- Carys, are you ready to have a look? - Are you finished?
0:13:40 > 0:13:41What do you think of that, then?
0:13:41 > 0:13:44What's that?
0:13:44 > 0:13:49- You're speechless!- I was thinking, that's brilliant for your foot.
0:13:49 > 0:13:53I tell you, that's exactly what I think, eh?
0:13:53 > 0:13:56- Thank you.- Are you pleased? - Yeah, thank you so much.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58£10 please, Carys. Carys!
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Carys!
0:14:00 > 0:14:03Carys, oi! Oi! Oi!
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Carys! Carys!
0:14:07 > 0:14:09You can't just walk here without...
0:14:09 > 0:14:13Ten quid! Carys!
0:14:25 > 0:14:31- Lets propose a toast.- All right. - To finally meeting my lovely girlfriend's folks.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Ross isn't really Gemma's boyfriend, but she's told her folks he is,
0:14:34 > 0:14:40so he can invite them to his house for lunch and meet them for the very first time.
0:14:40 > 0:14:43Got that? Good, let's eat.
0:14:43 > 0:14:44Do you like pasta?
0:14:44 > 0:14:46We're not fussy with food...
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Top of the Pops was the thing...
0:14:48 > 0:14:50I'm into Dean Martin now.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53Dean Martin? I'm only kidding.
0:14:53 > 0:14:56So far they're having a lovely evening.
0:14:56 > 0:14:59Shall we eat?
0:14:59 > 0:15:04- What a lovely segue, there.- I'm going to go to the toilet first.- All right? We'll give it two minutes.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07But it's now time for some movie chat.
0:15:07 > 0:15:08Do you like movies?
0:15:08 > 0:15:11- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:15:11 > 0:15:17I'm the biggest video fan and I have to say I saw this video the other night.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21And it was weird. It was amazing. You know, I'd really recommend it.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23There's a girl
0:15:23 > 0:15:26and she's, er, she's in this bed.
0:15:26 > 0:15:30And she's sat there and she's not very well.
0:15:30 > 0:15:37And there's a priest in there and her voice goes really weird. It's like...
0:15:37 > 0:15:41"Errrr, rrrrr, rrrr."
0:15:41 > 0:15:43- Oh, yeah.- It's one of the devil films, isn't it?
0:15:43 > 0:15:49"Arrrr, rrrrr, rrrr, rrrrr. Rarrrrgh."
0:15:49 > 0:15:54And then, she's got, like, a nightie on, right? In the bed.
0:15:54 > 0:15:59And she does this down the stairs, right? You must've seen it.
0:16:01 > 0:16:04And her skin's all like...
0:16:04 > 0:16:08Oh, it's like... She's got all this... Oh, it's like this.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10It's like this, yeah?
0:16:13 > 0:16:18So she's in this bed and she's going, "Aaahh! Aaahh!"
0:16:18 > 0:16:21and then she starts saying all these horrible, horrible words.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24"Your mother sucks cocks in hell!
0:16:24 > 0:16:28"Your mother sucks cocks in hell! Your mother sucks cocks in hell!
0:16:28 > 0:16:31"Your mother sucks cocks in hell!"
0:16:39 > 0:16:42Oh, I know what it was. The Exorcist!
0:16:45 > 0:16:48- Would you like a tortilla chip? - I'm fine, thanks.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02- How are you both today? Are you all right?- Yeah, we're fine.
0:17:02 > 0:17:06Georgina has set up her boyfriend Mark
0:17:06 > 0:17:10because he turns into a green-eyed monster when other chaps pay her attention.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13She's brought him along to enjoy a massage.
0:17:13 > 0:17:19He's no need to stress because the masseuse Mikael is very obviously gay...ish.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28Ooh, that's lovely. I could eat you alive.
0:17:28 > 0:17:30Here look at him, looking a bit bad tempered.
0:17:30 > 0:17:32What? No I'm... I've never said...
0:17:32 > 0:17:36Like, a bloke sniffing me missus's neck. You know what I mean?
0:17:36 > 0:17:38No, it's OK. I'm gay.
0:17:38 > 0:17:42- Oh, right.- You see, around here, around this area here...
0:17:42 > 0:17:44- Yeah.- ..there's definitely a knot.
0:17:44 > 0:17:49Now listen, I'm just going to try something here. If you don't mind.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Oh, yeah. Does that feel any different?
0:17:51 > 0:17:55It does. It feels more supported, actually, yeah.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57If that weight is lifted up, you'll feel less pressure.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01Pop yourself behind that screen, right?
0:18:01 > 0:18:06- I'm going give you something that just might help. Be a bit more comfortable for you.- Oh, right.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08There you go, right?
0:18:08 > 0:18:11Before you put that on, I just want to take a photograph, right?
0:18:11 > 0:18:16- Yeah.- What? What's that for? - Well, what it is, you see,
0:18:16 > 0:18:20she can then look at the picture and she can see how she's holding herself.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23She can also see where the stress lines are, right?
0:18:23 > 0:18:25So stand up nice and straight.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27And just put one hand on your hip.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29- That's it.- On her hip?
0:18:29 > 0:18:34Come on, that's it. There we go.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Some nice relaxing music should do the trick.
0:18:37 > 0:18:39SOFT MUSIC PLAYS
0:18:39 > 0:18:44What I need to do is film this treatment, this process.
0:18:44 > 0:18:45- Yeah.- Is that all right? So, er...
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Sounds like porno music.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Move your hips a bit.
0:18:50 > 0:18:53- Right, how does that feel? - Why is she moving her hips?
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Are you all right there?
0:18:56 > 0:18:58- Not really. - You will be. Don't you worry.
0:18:58 > 0:19:01I'm just going to pop that over there. You relax.
0:19:01 > 0:19:04There we go. Right, OK.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07Right, take that off. Oh, fantastic. Aren't they? They're really soft.
0:19:07 > 0:19:10What? What are you touching?
0:19:10 > 0:19:14- You what, mate?- "You all right, mate?" Yeah. What you touching? What's really soft?
0:19:14 > 0:19:18- It's OK, I'm gay.- Fuck me. If you're gay, I'm the queen.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20- There we go. Pull that. - Pull what?!
0:19:20 > 0:19:25Do you want to just come round the screen slowly.
0:19:25 > 0:19:26That's it.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Oh, fantastic. How does that feel?
0:19:29 > 0:19:31- Feels great.- Right.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33- Right, listen now.- Walk slowly towards the camera.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36- Something ain't right here. - Just relax, calm down.
0:19:36 > 0:19:41How can I relax when you're filming my missus dressed like that, to bloody porno music?
0:19:41 > 0:19:44- It's couples massage music, don't you worry.- Bollocks.
0:19:44 > 0:19:49- Go and get fucking changed.- I'm just going to get down low, down here. Right, there we go.
0:19:49 > 0:19:52- Go and get fucking changed. - Walk past.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56Slower, slower.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58What?!
0:19:58 > 0:20:03- Feel better now, do you? - Its OK, I'm gay.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21I was wondering if you could help me. I've got a bit of a problem
0:20:21 > 0:20:24- and I was just wondering if you've got anything for it.- OK.
0:20:24 > 0:20:29It's a bit embarrassing, it's a lump that's come up on my chest.
0:20:29 > 0:20:35- I say a lump, it's more like two lumps.- Right.- Can I show you? - Sure.- Is that OK?
0:20:35 > 0:20:36Let me just, er...
0:20:36 > 0:20:40Right, have you got anything for this?
0:20:40 > 0:20:43Definitely not.
0:20:44 > 0:20:45No.
0:20:45 > 0:20:50- How long has that been there? - Well, a couple of months now.
0:20:50 > 0:20:54- Have you been to a doctor about it? - Not yet, no. - You certainly need to go.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56When I get cold...
0:20:57 > 0:21:01..they shrink. They retract, sort of, into my body.
0:21:01 > 0:21:06- This is something I've never seen. Certainly there'll be no creams for that.- OK.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10The other thing I've noticed - I don't know whether it's related -
0:21:10 > 0:21:15is if I cough, they sort of rise upwards and then drop down.
0:21:15 > 0:21:16If you watch...
0:21:20 > 0:21:22What do you think it might be?
0:21:22 > 0:21:24Could be some sort of tumorous growth.
0:21:24 > 0:21:28Maybe not a deadly cancer, but some sort of growth.
0:21:28 > 0:21:30You can't treat this over the counter.
0:21:30 > 0:21:34Why would it be that every time I listen to,
0:21:34 > 0:21:38say, hip hop music I get a strong urge to hold them.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41I don't know.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46- No idea.- Strange.- Yeah.
0:21:47 > 0:21:52- OK. Well, thank you so much for trying to help me.- No problem. It's fine.- I appreciate that.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55- It's driving me nuts. But thank you very much.- OK.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16Stephanie's friends have set her up on a blind date from hell.
0:22:16 > 0:22:17What lovely friends.
0:22:17 > 0:22:21Cousin Dan says, "Oh, you're going to bloody love her. She looks just like Pink."
0:22:21 > 0:22:25- You're better-looking than Pink. - Oh, shush.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28So far, they're enjoying the restaurant.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32But Ross has chosen it because he has a score to settle.
0:22:32 > 0:22:36My mum and dad were only here last week in this restaurant.
0:22:36 > 0:22:40But, er, me mum came in that night crying her eyes out. Absolutely crying her eyes out.
0:22:40 > 0:22:46Me mum heard the chef go, "This is for the old lady over there that looks like a bulldog chewing a wasp."
0:22:46 > 0:22:49He's not looking for romance. He's looking for revenge.
0:22:49 > 0:22:52Hello. Are you... Are you ready for your order?
0:22:52 > 0:22:57- Sorry, I just appear to have, um, ripped the, er...- Oh.
0:22:57 > 0:23:01I must've caught it under the bread, sorry about that. Can I give you that back?
0:23:01 > 0:23:04- Yeah, don't worry. That's OK. - Right do you know what you're...
0:23:04 > 0:23:07Yeah. Can I have the tuna and shrimp, please?
0:23:07 > 0:23:10Two of those. I'll have the same, thank you very much.
0:23:10 > 0:23:13- Tuna and shrimp. - Fantastic, thank you very much.
0:23:13 > 0:23:19- And tuna and shrimp pizza for you as well. - Thank you.- Enjoy.- That's great.
0:23:22 > 0:23:26It's a little... It's like a little tiny blow torch, right?
0:23:26 > 0:23:31- Oh, don't.- No, that's all right. Look at that. See what...
0:23:35 > 0:23:37Wow, look at that.
0:23:40 > 0:23:45Excuse me. Hi, this pizza, it's all burnt in the middle.
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Look at that. It's like rock hard. Can I swap that please, for a....
0:23:48 > 0:23:51- Yeah, sure.- It's almost like you've got a very small cooker in there,
0:23:51 > 0:23:54only concentrating on one bit of the pizza.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56- Right.- No.- We're going to get some Champagne now.
0:23:56 > 0:24:00- No, no.- Trust me. All you've got to do is just bang me on my back. Are you ready?
0:24:00 > 0:24:03- HE PRETENDS TO CHOKE - No, don't. Please.
0:24:10 > 0:24:14Excuse me, are you OK? You all right?
0:24:14 > 0:24:19- Oh, my goodness.- What is that? What is that doing in my pizza? A Monopoly house.
0:24:19 > 0:24:24- I mean, it looks like a Monopoly house.- I don't even play Monopoly. How much is that worth in Monopoly?
0:24:24 > 0:24:28- I don't know. - Can I offer you something as a...
0:24:28 > 0:24:32- You know?- Yes, please.- To say sorry, basically.- Yes, please.
0:24:32 > 0:24:33It's a result, isn't it?
0:24:33 > 0:24:36If you say so.
0:24:36 > 0:24:40I'm just going to go to the lavatory. I'll be right back.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50I just got this out of the toilet.
0:24:50 > 0:24:52Sssh. Amazing.
0:24:56 > 0:24:59- Did I get your feet?- No.- OK.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03I don't know about you, but I'm going get out of here, right?
0:25:03 > 0:25:06- This is the plan.- No, stop it. I don't want to do anything else.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09Seriously.
0:25:09 > 0:25:10This is the restaurant, right?
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Right, we're there.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14I'll go down here, cause a little distraction,
0:25:14 > 0:25:18And then we're out of here. And you just need to follow me, OK?
0:25:18 > 0:25:21- No, I'm not doing anything. - Are you ready?- No.
0:25:23 > 0:25:24Stephanie.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26HE COUGHS
0:25:28 > 0:25:30GUNSHOT / GASPS
0:25:40 > 0:25:43Come on, what you waiting... Text us!
0:25:50 > 0:25:52You have been watching...
0:25:52 > 0:25:55- What do you mean we're on TV? - You buggers.
0:25:55 > 0:25:58- Why did I deserve it?- Because...
0:26:00 > 0:26:01..we just need you to have some fun.
0:26:01 > 0:26:05And then he started, like, pulling out hair from his trousers.
0:26:05 > 0:26:08Oh, bloody hell.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10It was disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.
0:26:10 > 0:26:13- You didn't know what to think, did you?- No.
0:26:13 > 0:26:14This is weird. Maybe we should go.
0:26:14 > 0:26:19You're on a hidden-camera show on BBC Three.
0:26:19 > 0:26:20You're a fucking prick!
0:26:20 > 0:26:25- And you're right, I'm not actually gay.- Oh, fucking hell!
0:26:25 > 0:26:26Next time on The Pranker.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31It's OK, mate, I'm gay.
0:26:33 > 0:26:36Fuck off and die.
0:26:45 > 0:26:48Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:26:48 > 0:26:51E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk