0:00:02 > 0:00:09This programme contains some strong language and adult humour
0:00:41 > 0:00:43- How would you like to work in Saudi Arabia?- Doing what?
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Anything you want, really, like cooking, cleaning, stuff like that.
0:00:46 > 0:00:50It's employment for life. We call it "wife".
0:00:50 > 0:00:53In certain regions of the Middle East there's a glass ceiling effect,
0:00:53 > 0:00:56as women rarely progress beyond certain levels in society.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59In Saudi Arabia, women are banned from driving and can only
0:00:59 > 0:01:02attend school or travel abroad with the permission of a male guardian.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05In Afghanistan, women have been sent to jail for moral crimes,
0:01:05 > 0:01:09such as leaving their husbands, or sex outside marriage.
0:01:09 > 0:01:12While Iran has decided that it's best if women aren't allowed
0:01:12 > 0:01:13to stand for President.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21Oh, hello, I've come to install a glass ceiling.
0:01:21 > 0:01:23- Is that for...? - Yeah, for the roof.
0:01:23 > 0:01:25- I've just been told to drop this upstairs.- OK.
0:01:25 > 0:01:28Hi, mate. Just supposed to install this in the roof.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30- It's the glass ceiling. - Up, up?
0:01:30 > 0:01:33No, the first floor.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34Maybe in the kitchen.
0:01:34 > 0:01:36They said that's where most of the women were,
0:01:36 > 0:01:38and I should install it above the kitchen. Where's that?
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Or the shed where they're kept overnight.
0:01:40 > 0:01:44So you want this installed in the next one round the corner?
0:01:44 > 0:01:47OK, we'll give that a go. Thanks, guys. Thanks.
0:01:47 > 0:01:50- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm not sure where...
0:01:50 > 0:01:53Obviously, she needs to stay on the first floor,
0:01:53 > 0:01:55so it's to protect the women from their aspirations.
0:01:55 > 0:01:58This is fine, because this is probably above this floor, because
0:01:58 > 0:02:01she works in there, so it'll probably be above here, so she can't get up.
0:02:01 > 0:02:02I'll go in next door.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05You ask. I mean, if you can't... Yeah. You go and ask.
0:02:05 > 0:02:07If you can't find anyone to blame,
0:02:07 > 0:02:09then we'll just have her flogged, it's fine.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Well, really, what you want to do is put it in the floor here,
0:02:13 > 0:02:15because you'd never get a woman on this floor.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20Sorry, what? Sorry, why is she talking to me?
0:02:20 > 0:02:23This is the Afghan Embassy. I'll speak to my boss.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25In the meantime, I need to get some stress out.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27I'm going to head butt my wife and then,
0:02:27 > 0:02:29I'll come back in an hour. OK?
0:02:29 > 0:02:30Can I get a BBC OMGWTF?
0:02:30 > 0:02:33That's one of those BBC WMG whatever...
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Oh, my God.
0:02:35 > 0:02:36- BBC...?- OM...
0:02:36 > 0:02:40- OMG!- BBC OM...- G.- G.
0:02:40 > 0:02:41- WTMF.- What is it?
0:02:41 > 0:02:43- F.- F.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45- What the...- OK!
0:02:48 > 0:02:50OMG! I am Zam Smith
0:02:50 > 0:02:53and I'm here in Leicester Square for the premiere of The Lone Ranger.
0:02:53 > 0:02:55It's bonjour, it's bonsoir.
0:02:55 > 0:02:56I don't really know what's happening.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Look at this massive thing over here!
0:02:58 > 0:03:00It's just totally amazing!
0:03:01 > 0:03:04- How does it feel to be in London? - Yah, it feels nice, feels great.
0:03:04 > 0:03:06What has it been like working on The Lone Ranger?
0:03:06 > 0:03:08It must have been OMG.
0:03:08 > 0:03:10It was amazing. It was OMG.
0:03:10 > 0:03:11And I enjoyed it.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Johnny Depp, how fit is he?
0:03:13 > 0:03:14He is a fit man.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17- He is totally hot, right? - He is totally hot.
0:03:17 > 0:03:19- Lone Ranger or Zorro? - Well, Lone Ranger.
0:03:19 > 0:03:22But seriously, is Julian Assange a hero?
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Yeah, he's pretty good. He's pretty badass.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27Assange, the WikiLeaks guy?
0:03:27 > 0:03:29- That guy, yeah. - I don't know.
0:03:29 > 0:03:32- Israel or Palestine? - Well, Israel.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35- There's whistle-blowing all over the place, isn't there?- Yeah, yeah.
0:03:35 > 0:03:37- Is that an exclusive?- No.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42Payment protection insurance is designed to cover borrowers'
0:03:42 > 0:03:45loan repayments if they fall ill or lose their jobs.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Very thoughtful of the banks to sell people this service, except
0:03:48 > 0:03:51that a considerable number of the people they sold it to didn't
0:03:51 > 0:03:54want it, need it or weren't even eligible for it.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57It's shaping up to be the largest mis-selling scandal in UK history,
0:03:57 > 0:03:59with the banks having to put aside over
0:03:59 > 0:04:02£13 billion to pay compensation.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Hello, guys. Where do you work? Do you work round the corner?
0:04:11 > 0:04:14- Do you work round here?- NatWest. - In NatWest?- Yeah.
0:04:14 > 0:04:17OK, it's 20p per ice cream. Hand over the cash.
0:04:17 > 0:04:19Hey, PP Ice Cream. Do you want some?
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Ah, I think all of Lloyds want some.
0:04:21 > 0:04:22Amazing. Bring Lloyds out.
0:04:22 > 0:04:25I'll charge you a little extra for ice cream insurance.
0:04:25 > 0:04:27- Why?- Well, you might spill it on your dress.
0:04:27 > 0:04:3180p, OK? I'll keep the extra 20p for your ice cream insurance.
0:04:31 > 0:04:33- We don't want the insurance. No. - Well, you know.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35That's not very good technical selling.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37I know, but it makes us a lot of money.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39- Really?- Yeah. You must be a banker.- Yeah.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41- Who do you work for?- RBS.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43RBS? Do you want ice cream insurance?
0:04:43 > 0:04:45- No. - Do you need ice cream insurance?
0:04:45 > 0:04:48- No.- Well, you've qualified for ice cream insurance, so give me a pound.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51- Are you really? - Yeah.- Brilliant.
0:04:51 > 0:04:54It's ice cream with insurance.
0:04:54 > 0:04:56- I work for the biggest bank here. - Yeah.- Just over there.
0:04:56 > 0:04:59- You know, RBS, RBS, NatWest. - Yeah.- I know.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01But I need the card to cover you in case of any
0:05:01 > 0:05:02accidents that might happen.
0:05:02 > 0:05:05You know, I can put you through to my line manager, yeah?
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Hold the line.
0:05:07 > 0:05:12HUMS TUNE
0:05:12 > 0:05:14We'll just put you on hold for a second.
0:05:14 > 0:05:20HE HUMS TUNE
0:05:21 > 0:05:24Look around your high street and it's odds on you'll see
0:05:24 > 0:05:26betting shops hitting the jackpot.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29They're popping up everywhere, but especially in poorer areas.
0:05:29 > 0:05:32You could see this as a bit of a gamble, until you learn that
0:05:32 > 0:05:35in areas with high unemployment levels, people gamble four times
0:05:35 > 0:05:37more than in areas with a bit more dosh.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40So, is this a case of exploitation? Would you bet against it?
0:05:42 > 0:05:44No, I know. I just got here. Yeah, poor people everywhere.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47I know they make the best clients, I know they do.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49Yeah, so, lads, if you can just get it up here.
0:05:49 > 0:05:51What we're going to do is we're going to re-brand it,
0:05:51 > 0:05:53so it looks a bit more honest.
0:05:53 > 0:05:57That's great, yeah. Really good, nice one.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00High up as you can. Yeah, OK, good. Yeah, that's fine.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03Looking really nice, actually. That's really good, yeah.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Great, yeah, we'll get the next one up.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Yeah, that's great. Up, up. Great work.
0:06:08 > 0:06:10Yeah, that's good, guys. I like that, that's fine.
0:06:10 > 0:06:14Well, what we've done is just an honest re-brand with the customers.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Coral, Immoral.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Do you need me any more? There's a wishing well down the road.
0:06:21 > 0:06:24I was going to go and throw my life savings into it and hope I won something.
0:06:24 > 0:06:26No, it's fine. You go and do that.
0:06:26 > 0:06:29- So, what have we really gone for here?- Just the Broke Lads re-brand.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Hello, mate, yeah, hi. It's an honest re-brand.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34So, what we're saying is if you bet at Paddy's Power,
0:06:34 > 0:06:37- Paddy's going to get poorer, if you see what I'm saying. - Yeah, yeah.- That's good.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Where do you want it? Glass ceiling.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47It's like a preventative measure
0:06:47 > 0:06:49to stop women getting above the first floor.
0:06:49 > 0:06:51Cos they're getting degrees and stuff now
0:06:51 > 0:06:54and they're getting ideas above their station, so...
0:06:54 > 0:06:56OK.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58This will stop them getting up. It's for your own security.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01You know, you don't want to be out of a job, you know?
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Oh, my God! What are you doing here?
0:07:05 > 0:07:08This is why you need to install this, you see.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10This is the situation you've got.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12She's escaped to the first floor.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14You deal with that situation.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16My friend will install this later, OK?
0:07:16 > 0:07:18- They'll be back in about ten minutes. - OK.
0:07:18 > 0:07:19All right, guys.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24'I'm Ewan Jeffries, Labour campaigner.
0:07:24 > 0:07:28'I'm travelling all over the country to meet the people.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30'You know, I listen when they say they want change,
0:07:30 > 0:07:33'when they say they want a Labour government.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35'So in 2015,
0:07:35 > 0:07:39'I'm going to run for Parliament and this is my journey to Westminster.
0:07:39 > 0:07:45'My name's Ewan Jeffries, man of the people, Labour's last hope.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48'Today I'm attending a Labour Party gathering in the hope
0:07:48 > 0:07:51'I'll finally get to meet our leader, Ed Miliband.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53'He's been getting a lot of flak of late,
0:07:53 > 0:07:55'so I hope to lift his spirits with a special gift.'
0:07:55 > 0:07:59You know, in politics, it's about what you know, not who you know.
0:07:59 > 0:08:00Um, no, that's the wrong way around.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02It's about who you know, not what you know.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04- Can you get me in? - Ha-ha, sure.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07OK, great. Is this all right? I'm coming with you.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10- You can't come with me. - You've got a plus one, don't you?
0:08:10 > 0:08:11I'm going to be running in 2015.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14- I just wanted to have your blessing as well.- OK.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17- John, you're late. It's in here. - I'm late?
0:08:17 > 0:08:19I'm Ewan Jeffries. Lovely to see you.
0:08:19 > 0:08:20- Hi. I'm sorry I'm late.- No problem.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22- How are you? - He's your closest friend.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25Hey, Norman, come here. Have you heard the rumour about John?
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- He was just talking about you. - Oh, no.
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Saying what a terrible philanderer you are.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Adam, hi. Ewan Jeffries, I'll be running in 2015
0:08:32 > 0:08:34and I could do with your backing on Sky.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36- I know you're a powerful man. - Who are you running for?
0:08:36 > 0:08:38I'll be, I'll be the new Prime Minister.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40Lovely to see you, Ed. Fantastic job you're doing.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43- Thank you.- Just wanted to say I'll be running in 2015.
0:08:43 > 0:08:47I just wanted to say, fantastic job you're doing for the Conservative Party.
0:08:47 > 0:08:49'I didn't get to meet Labour leader Ed Miliband
0:08:49 > 0:08:52'at the party and present him with my gift.'
0:08:52 > 0:08:55I don't think they've got me on the list, but we'll see.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58'But our paths did cross a little later on and I was heartened
0:08:58 > 0:09:01'to see that the press were on hand to document this historical
0:09:01 > 0:09:03'and momentous occasion.'
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Mr Miliband, is it a good idea to kick your biggest donor into...
0:09:06 > 0:09:07..How to Make Friends and Influence People...
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Ewan Jeffries, I'm going to be standing with Mr Miliband,
0:09:10 > 0:09:13and I'd just like to say, Ed, it's not going so well now,
0:09:13 > 0:09:16but it's going to go great later. Fantastic work, guys.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19Ed, listen, How to Win Friends And Influence People, Ed.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21It's a little book, from me to you.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23A little bit of help for me to give you.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25Ed, come on, let's talk.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28When you see a horse, your first thought probably isn't, "Mm, tasty."
0:09:28 > 0:09:31But earlier this year a number of the nation's top supermarkets
0:09:31 > 0:09:35got into trouble for selling beef products which contained horse meat.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38The Food Standards Agency's response to the crisis led to it being
0:09:38 > 0:09:39condemned as not fit for purpose.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41So in future, can we really be sure
0:09:41 > 0:09:44we're being sold what's written on the label?
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Like to try a free sample of Meat Randoms?
0:09:51 > 0:09:53- What's Meat Randoms? - Well, we don't really know.
0:09:53 > 0:09:57- Oh, there's no pork in there. - So little pork, it's almost kosher.
0:09:57 > 0:09:58Mmm, that is rat.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01Well, it could be rat, it could be cat, it could be badger.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04If you like to live on the edge, not know whether you're eating
0:10:04 > 0:10:07chicken, rat or dog, then these could potentially be for you.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09That's just disgusting and wrong. That's grim.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Would you like to try one? What were you getting?
0:10:15 > 0:10:17Were you getting any rat, any cat, any dog?
0:10:17 > 0:10:18- Not really?- Just meat things.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21That's exactly what they are. Meat things.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Hello, madam, like to try a new product?
0:10:24 > 0:10:27It's called Mystery Meat.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29Never really know what you're going to get.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35I mean, we believe that fast foods should be made out of fast animals.
0:10:35 > 0:10:39So, this is exclusively horse, fox and leopard.
0:10:39 > 0:10:40- Are you serious?- Yeah.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43- Any owl in there? - Any owl? Do you like owl?
0:10:51 > 0:10:54We're from Mystery Meats. It's the Meat Randoms product.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58This is the full fat version and this is the diet version.
0:10:58 > 0:11:00What is it you're supposed to be doing?
0:11:00 > 0:11:02We're basically just trying to get a licence,
0:11:02 > 0:11:05because obviously you allowed horse meat through, so what
0:11:05 > 0:11:07we're saying is, if you allow horse through, why not rat, why not cat?
0:11:07 > 0:11:09Every piece is a different animal.
0:11:13 > 0:11:14Why are you so squeamish?
0:11:14 > 0:11:16You work at the Food Standards Agency.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19There's been horse on the menu for years.
0:11:20 > 0:11:21Since May 2008,
0:11:21 > 0:11:24Boris Johnson has had a full-time job as Mayor of London.
0:11:24 > 0:11:27On top of his six-figure salary for his mayoral duties, he also
0:11:27 > 0:11:31managed to bring in just under £900,000 in freelance earnings.
0:11:31 > 0:11:32He's got a column with The Telegraph
0:11:32 > 0:11:35and he found time to pen a little book about Winston Churchill.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37So, I've come down here to present him
0:11:37 > 0:11:40with this award for being the hardest working man in showbiz.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43Boris, can I give you this award for all your hard work?
0:11:43 > 0:11:44Thank you very much.
0:11:44 > 0:11:47Do you plan to move into politics after the whole showbiz thing?
0:11:47 > 0:11:48- Let's not do this.- Thank you.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51- How do you find time for hobbies like running the capital? - Thank you very much.
0:11:59 > 0:12:03I don't need to tell anybody here that we're approaching
0:12:03 > 0:12:05crucial elections next year,
0:12:05 > 0:12:08or indeed, of course, that it is less than two years
0:12:08 > 0:12:11until the next general election.
0:12:11 > 0:12:13As we move forward, every single one of us,
0:12:13 > 0:12:17every Liberal Democrat, will have to make a choice.
0:12:17 > 0:12:21Our party is at a very real fork in the road,
0:12:21 > 0:12:26with very real consequences, depending on which way we turn.
0:12:26 > 0:12:31One way embraces the future, where the Liberal Democrats seek to become
0:12:31 > 0:12:37a firm party of government, striving to govern at every level.
0:12:37 > 0:12:41The other clings to our past, limiting our ambitions
0:12:41 > 0:12:45and our prospects, consigning ourselves to be the third party for
0:12:45 > 0:12:50ever, turning away from the millions of people we have promised to serve.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53BBC, erm...
0:12:57 > 0:13:01OMG. I am here at the most incredible book launch
0:13:01 > 0:13:04of the one, the only, Katie Price, AKA Jordan!
0:13:04 > 0:13:06It's going to be amazing.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11So, Katie, what is a book?
0:13:11 > 0:13:12You tell me, what is a book?
0:13:12 > 0:13:15It's made of paper and you've just gotta read the...
0:13:15 > 0:13:16read between the lines.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19How are you going to make reading cool?
0:13:19 > 0:13:23Well, it must be cool, because I've been doing it for ten years now.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27How is a book different from TV?
0:13:27 > 0:13:30I think with a book... like, when it's TV,
0:13:30 > 0:13:34you have to wait the following week to see what's coming up.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37With a book, you can pick it up and put it down whenever you like.
0:13:37 > 0:13:38- You can read it. - Exactly, and read it.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40You can, like, put it wherever you want.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42- In your handbag. - In the bath.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44You can read in the bath.
0:13:44 > 0:13:45- On your chair.- Or the chair.
0:13:45 > 0:13:46On a table.
0:13:46 > 0:13:49- Bit uncomfortable.- Ooh!
0:13:49 > 0:13:52If you want to get rid of a book, can you just burn it?
0:13:52 > 0:13:55Of course, it's made of paper, put it in the wood burner.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58- Is that an exclusive? - An exclusive.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05In 2010, the British public was treated to its first
0:14:05 > 0:14:09coalition government since the end of the Second World War, an unequal
0:14:09 > 0:14:12coming together of David Cameron's Conservative Party, who have
0:14:12 > 0:14:16pretty much most of the power, and that other party with Nick Clegg.
0:14:16 > 0:14:21It can be a historic and seismic shift in our political landscape.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24Three years into the coalition and we're following two of its
0:14:24 > 0:14:28lesser known MPs, Conservative James Twottington-Burbage
0:14:28 > 0:14:31and Liberal Democrat Barnaby Plankton, as they begin to feel
0:14:31 > 0:14:35the strain of this political union's uncertain future.
0:14:35 > 0:14:36- Hello.- Hello.
0:14:45 > 0:14:48Today, James and Barnaby are in Brussels.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51They're visiting the European Union, a collective of 28 countries
0:14:51 > 0:14:54who create laws and legislation for Europe.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58Oh, I love the smell of bureaucracy in the morning.
0:14:58 > 0:14:59Shut up, Barney.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03Great Britain is part of the EU, but with a growing number of
0:15:03 > 0:15:06Conservative MPs, including James, wanting to leave,
0:15:06 > 0:15:09and with the Liberal Democrats keen to remain, there's tension
0:15:09 > 0:15:10within the coalition government.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12- Hello, Chris.- Hola, bonjour.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15- Welcome to the European Parliament. - So excited.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17'In an attempt to soothe these problems,
0:15:17 > 0:15:18'Barnaby plans to show James
0:15:18 > 0:15:21'what a valuable institution the EU is.'
0:15:21 > 0:15:25I remember when it was a good, solid group of countries.
0:15:25 > 0:15:26We were doing the right thing
0:15:26 > 0:15:29and weren't spending frivolous money on things like art or whatever.
0:15:29 > 0:15:31- FOLK MUSIC PLAYS - Look at this.
0:15:31 > 0:15:34This makes the whole thing a bloody mockery. Look at it.
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Can you ever imagine this in Westminster?
0:15:36 > 0:15:38And this doesn't embarrass you at all?
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Very good, very good.
0:15:42 > 0:15:44I'm just trying to picture
0:15:44 > 0:15:47what Maggie would make of all of this
0:15:47 > 0:15:50and, I have to say, I think she would bloomin' well hate it.
0:15:50 > 0:15:53'It appears Barnaby's well-laid plans have been for nothing,
0:15:53 > 0:15:55'that is until the conversation turns
0:15:55 > 0:15:57'to James' favourite subject - money.'
0:15:57 > 0:16:00So these MEPs, how much do they get paid?
0:16:00 > 0:16:04They get 7,000-something euros a month.
0:16:04 > 0:16:05There you go.
0:16:05 > 0:16:06That's more than an MP gets.
0:16:06 > 0:16:08What about the, you know...
0:16:08 > 0:16:09What about the expenses? What can you get?
0:16:09 > 0:16:11- MEPs have to travel a lot... - They do, yeah.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15They're representing at European level and representing their local constituents.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Liking this place more and more, I've got to say.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21I think it's got an interesting... Interesting twist.
0:16:21 > 0:16:22'With his interest piqued,
0:16:22 > 0:16:25'James jumps at the chance to meet UKIP MEP Derek Clark,
0:16:25 > 0:16:28'who recently had to repay £31,000
0:16:28 > 0:16:30'for expenses claimed in error.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32'Whilst it was an honest mistake,
0:16:32 > 0:16:34'surely nobody would raise an eyebrow
0:16:34 > 0:16:37'if he claimed for a few well-earned refreshments.'
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Here you go, chaps.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41- Thought I'd get you a coffee, Derek. - Thank you very much.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43That'll be...
0:16:43 > 0:16:4510.65.
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Is that all right?
0:16:50 > 0:16:53If I was hosting you, I would have gone and got my coffee myself.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55- Can't you just help us out here? - You've got money.
0:16:55 > 0:16:58- I mean, obviously...- Come on, can't you really help us out?
0:16:58 > 0:17:01- Just a little bit? 10.65. - You don't need helping out.
0:17:01 > 0:17:03- Well, could you just give me a tenner then?- No.
0:17:03 > 0:17:06Come on, a tenner. Fiver?
0:17:06 > 0:17:08You can pay for that on your daddy's credit card,
0:17:08 > 0:17:10which I know very well that you have in your pocket.
0:17:10 > 0:17:13The coalition government says a spare room
0:17:13 > 0:17:16is a benefit council tenants should no longer receive.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18So if they have one spare room
0:17:18 > 0:17:21they'll see their housing benefit cut by 14%.
0:17:21 > 0:17:24If they can't afford this bedroom tax, then they may have to move out.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26I'm in the London borough of Westminster
0:17:26 > 0:17:29where one taxpayer-funded family has loads of spare rooms
0:17:29 > 0:17:31but they're not going to be downsizing any time soon.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Can I just let you know about a woman in the local area?
0:17:35 > 0:17:37This woman isn't paying her bedroom tax.
0:17:37 > 0:17:40- She's got 700 spare rooms.- What?
0:17:40 > 0:17:41- 700?- Yeah.
0:17:41 > 0:17:42A woman who has seven...
0:17:42 > 0:17:44700 spare bedrooms.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47I'm just kind of letting the local people know.
0:17:47 > 0:17:50- Are you being actually deadly serious?- Yeah.- Where does she live?
0:17:50 > 0:17:52- Just round the corner. - And I can't even get a flat.
0:17:52 > 0:17:53And her husband's a racist.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56The grandson keeps exposing himself in public and he's ginger.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58It's disgusting.
0:17:58 > 0:17:59She's got these dogs, they shit everywhere.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02You don't know about this woman? She lives locally, down there.
0:18:02 > 0:18:06- She has loads of parties in the place the whole time. - Where?- It's just down the road.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09If you go there, there are loads of police outside for your own protection.
0:18:09 > 0:18:10- OK.- It's Buckingham Palace.
0:18:10 > 0:18:12# She's a killer queen
0:18:12 > 0:18:14# Gunpowder, gelatine
0:18:14 > 0:18:16# Dynamite with a laser beam
0:18:16 > 0:18:19# Guaranteed to blow your mind
0:18:19 > 0:18:20# Any time
0:18:20 > 0:18:22# Ooh, recommended at the price
0:18:22 > 0:18:24# Insatiable an appetite
0:18:24 > 0:18:28# Wanna try? #
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Last time we talked, you talked about the hurt.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41Has the hurt healed? Has it vanished?
0:18:41 > 0:18:42- Do you...- Of course.
0:18:42 > 0:18:47Well, the truth is that, these things,
0:18:47 > 0:18:50you can never erase them from memory or history.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52It's not right to pretend that.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54But you're... We are brother...
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Not you and I, Ed and I are brothers for life.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58That's not something... That's something that you value
0:18:58 > 0:19:02and that you nurture, whatever the difficulty of the circumstance.
0:19:02 > 0:19:05And that relationship is healing a bit, do you think?
0:19:05 > 0:19:08- Of course.- It is. - And the important thing, though,
0:19:08 > 0:19:10is that we've got to...
0:19:10 > 0:19:12never lead our lives
0:19:12 > 0:19:14by looking in the rear-view mirror.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16David Miliband, thank you very much.
0:19:16 > 0:19:18Thank you very much.
0:19:21 > 0:19:25Welcome to Inside The Story.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27I'm Dale Maily, fearless hetero-journalist
0:19:27 > 0:19:30who's not afraid to be unafraid.
0:19:30 > 0:19:32I deliver fair, impartial news,
0:19:32 > 0:19:34as it happens, wherever it happens,
0:19:34 > 0:19:37telling you the right way to think.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Hello, I'm Dale Maily, and welcome to Inside The Story.
0:19:41 > 0:19:43If we're to believe the hype,
0:19:43 > 0:19:45then there's a copy of 50 Shades Of Grey
0:19:45 > 0:19:47on every bookshelf in the country,
0:19:47 > 0:19:49and this mainstream perversion
0:19:49 > 0:19:51is twisting the minds of our nation
0:19:51 > 0:19:55and creating grotesque, sinful, sexually obsessed sickos.
0:19:55 > 0:19:58I've come to the NEC in Birmingham
0:19:58 > 0:20:01to find out just how bad it's really got.
0:20:01 > 0:20:02I'm here by the catwalk.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04It's a bit like the Generation Game's conveyor belt
0:20:04 > 0:20:07except there's no cuddly toys here.
0:20:07 > 0:20:08Just whores.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10Many of these women probably have chlamydia,
0:20:10 > 0:20:14which prevents pregnancy - which is probably for the best.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16When did we go from a nation of people
0:20:16 > 0:20:19who understood that we just had to do our duty, our marital duty,
0:20:19 > 0:20:22and think of the Queen, to a nation of sex-mad perverts?
0:20:22 > 0:20:25Part of the marital duty is making your partner come.
0:20:25 > 0:20:27What do you mean "come"?
0:20:27 > 0:20:29Orgasm. Reach climax.
0:20:31 > 0:20:32What, for a woman?
0:20:32 > 0:20:34Cocks everywhere, cocks over there, more cocks.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36Oh, that looks quite nice. What's that?
0:20:36 > 0:20:39Did it scare you initially, the idea of selling vaginas?
0:20:39 > 0:20:40You don't like vaginas?
0:20:40 > 0:20:43Well, this is for something that you'd use to oil your car
0:20:43 > 0:20:44or something like that?
0:20:44 > 0:20:47No, no, no, it's something you'd use to oil your cock.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49- Why would you do that?- It's a lubricant.- Why would you do that?
0:20:49 > 0:20:52- It's a lubricant.- But why? - If it's dry, it makes it slippery.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56You put a lot of lubricant on it and you sit over this.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58- When did the devil take over your mind?- Huh?
0:20:58 > 0:20:59What you realise
0:20:59 > 0:21:02is that women are being treated like third-class citizens here,
0:21:02 > 0:21:05when, in fact, they're second-class citizens.
0:21:05 > 0:21:07And how long does it take you to get into a costume like that?
0:21:07 > 0:21:10You know, a few seconds, you know. A minute or something.
0:21:10 > 0:21:13And how long does it take you to wash off that dirty sense of shame?
0:21:13 > 0:21:16Ooh, that really does... That really does kick, doesn't it?
0:21:16 > 0:21:18But this could be quite a useful device.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21If a husband was with the wife and she hadn't done the washing up
0:21:21 > 0:21:24and just to put her in her place and make sure she did it next time.
0:21:24 > 0:21:26- Isn't that right? - Absolutely not. Put that down.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29That's Sharon's, and she wanted a harness made
0:21:29 > 0:21:31specifically to take that.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34'To get even deeper inside this story, I make the brave decision
0:21:34 > 0:21:38'to get up close and personal with the depraved items on sale here.'
0:21:38 > 0:21:40Do you think I could keep this one or...?
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- Yeah, I think suits you.- Fantastic.
0:21:43 > 0:21:45I'm now putting some wrist restrains onto you.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48This is what is seen in the evil book 50 Shades Of Grey, correct?
0:21:48 > 0:21:50This is exactly the sort of thing in 50 Shades of Grey.
0:21:50 > 0:21:53So, red, that means fisting.
0:21:53 > 0:21:55Yellow is water sports. If I put this harness on you...
0:21:55 > 0:21:58Which would never happen, that would never happen.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00Excellent.
0:22:00 > 0:22:02This is Dale Maily, getting inside the story.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06You knew where you stood with the old NHS.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08It did health care - just health care.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11But with several private companies like Serco and Care UK
0:22:11 > 0:22:14entering the market and taking over parts of the NHS,
0:22:14 > 0:22:17and Virgin running a new sexual health care service
0:22:17 > 0:22:18in Milton Keynes,
0:22:18 > 0:22:22let's hope there's no mix-up with their other commercial interests.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Hi, sir, when did you last have a sexual health check-up?
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Sir, in the name of private health care.
0:22:28 > 0:22:30Yeah, we're from PNHIS,
0:22:30 > 0:22:32the Private National Health Service.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35We work for a number of private health-care companies,
0:22:35 > 0:22:37- including Virgin. - Do you like the NHS?
0:22:37 > 0:22:39- No. It's shit. - Well, you'll love PNHIS.
0:22:39 > 0:22:41If you get herpes we'll just send you into space.
0:22:41 > 0:22:44- How wide is your broadband?- It's a good girth.- Got a good girth.
0:22:44 > 0:22:47We can get you an all-inclusive bundle package
0:22:47 > 0:22:50which means you get free calls, free broadband and...
0:22:50 > 0:22:51Free herpes cream.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53So if you do a sexual-health check with us,
0:22:53 > 0:22:54every three checks
0:22:54 > 0:22:58Richard Branson will check your balls himself for lesions.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59Have you got health care?
0:22:59 > 0:23:00Not private health care, no.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03But, listen, you're already at the gym with Virgin.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05You might be on your phone with Virgin, right?
0:23:05 > 0:23:08And soon you could be checking if you've got chlamydia with Virgin.
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Would you like an amazing text bundle
0:23:10 > 0:23:13as well as to be completely chlamydia-free?
0:23:13 > 0:23:14Sorry, say that again.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17Usain Bolt is going to do a heart surgery. He's super-fast.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19Yeah, I could see that.
0:23:19 > 0:23:20We give our Virgin condoms,
0:23:20 > 0:23:23- which are flavoured just like our airline food.- That's right.
0:23:23 > 0:23:24Tastes like shit, then?
0:23:24 > 0:23:27With the private NHS you can get free broadband,
0:23:27 > 0:23:29free fibre optics, a mobile phone deal,
0:23:29 > 0:23:33and even be entered into a draw to go into Richard's balloon.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35I mean, that is pretty good.
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Well, I'm quite happy with the NHS as it is.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40It's part of Virgin's new sexual health programme,
0:23:40 > 0:23:43VirgiNHS, Virgin NHS, so you can get yourself checked at VirgiNHS,
0:23:43 > 0:23:44through the PNHIS scheme.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53- For once, James.- You're absolutely bloody right, it's embarrassing...
0:23:53 > 0:23:56'Having incurred some expenses for his coffee earlier,
0:23:56 > 0:23:57'James is now trying to make use
0:23:57 > 0:24:00'of the generous MEP expenses allowance to claim it back.'
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Where do I hand this in?
0:24:03 > 0:24:06- Ou est-ce que je peux... - My expenses.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Where's the room full of gold?
0:24:08 > 0:24:10One MEP said there was one down there.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13- Come on, be serious!- I am being serious. Come on, help me out.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15What would you like to have paid back?
0:24:15 > 0:24:18Well, I had a coffee over there with an MEP and he just ran away.
0:24:18 > 0:24:22- HE LAUGHS - I already give too much to this place in terms of art.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24I pay for the art and I pay for everything else.
0:24:24 > 0:24:28- That is your... It was unlucky. Yes, thank you.- It's not unlucky.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30You came to the wrong MEP, yeah?
0:24:30 > 0:24:32You've got enough money in Germany. Come on.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34You're not even trying, Barney.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36If this was you, I'd try for you, wouldn't I?
0:24:36 > 0:24:38- Would you?- Of course I would.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41'Back in the UK,
0:24:41 > 0:24:44'James is determined to claim what he feels is owed to him,
0:24:44 > 0:24:46'and if there's one person who should be able to help,
0:24:46 > 0:24:49'it's Nigel Farage, the leader of UKIP,
0:24:49 > 0:24:53'who once boasted about charging over £2 million in expenses
0:24:53 > 0:24:55'during his time as an MEP.'
0:24:55 > 0:24:56Nigel, just got a little thing.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Came back from the EU the other day,
0:24:58 > 0:25:01saw Derek over there, and, you know,
0:25:01 > 0:25:03we had a lovely coffee together and everything.
0:25:03 > 0:25:04But he saw of ran away
0:25:04 > 0:25:06without sort of sorting me out, as it were,
0:25:06 > 0:25:07so he sort of left me this
0:25:07 > 0:25:10and I said I'd come and see you and sort it out.
0:25:10 > 0:25:11Have you got 10.65?
0:25:11 > 0:25:13You can just sort me out.
0:25:13 > 0:25:14No. No, no.
0:25:14 > 0:25:16I don't... I don't get involved with money at all.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18No, no. But, I mean, it's just, you know... Just 10.65.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20It's just a matter of principle, Nigel.
0:25:20 > 0:25:21It had nothing to do with me.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Yeah, but what I'm saying is, you know, he said,
0:25:23 > 0:25:26if you speak to Nigel, he'll just be able to sort it out.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28- It's just a tenner. - What's it got to do with me?
0:25:28 > 0:25:30Well, it's only just because he's one of your boys, right?
0:25:30 > 0:25:32And I went and had a lovely meeting with him
0:25:32 > 0:25:34and we were talking about, you know,
0:25:34 > 0:25:35becoming a member of the party or whatever,
0:25:35 > 0:25:38and it's 10-bloody-65. And, you know, he just walked out on me.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40So I thought maybe we could just sort if out now.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43- No, no.- You sure?- No, absolutely. I'm not going to get involved.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45- 10.10?- I don't care whether it was ten cents.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47- I'm not getting involved at all. - Well, can we haggle?
0:25:47 > 0:25:50You know, like maybe seven quid or something like that?
0:25:50 > 0:25:52- Have you got a tenner?- No. - Just, you know, seven quid?
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Hang on, hang on. I'm not getting involved in this, all right? I'm not.
0:25:55 > 0:25:57It's nothing to do with me.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Yeah, but I mean at the end of the day, he's your boy, isn't he?
0:26:00 > 0:26:02I mean, he's one of your mates and he's one of your boys
0:26:02 > 0:26:04and it's only 10.65, you know, come on.
0:26:04 > 0:26:05It's just the principle of it.
0:26:05 > 0:26:07- Would you sort me out on the tenner? - What principle?
0:26:07 > 0:26:10Well, it's just expenses, isn't it? At the end of the day...
0:26:10 > 0:26:12I don't know. What were you doing in Brussels?
0:26:12 > 0:26:16We were going over on a fact-finding mission to find out what the hell was going on over there.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19- No. I'm not getting involved, honestly.- OK, well...
0:26:19 > 0:26:22- what about a fiver, then? - I'm not getting involved in it.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24- I mean, at the end of the day... - No. Nothing to do with me.
0:26:24 > 0:26:25- OK, fiver?- No.- £4.50?
0:26:25 > 0:26:26Nothing to do with me.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Let's just haggle. Come on, let's just make a deal.
0:26:28 > 0:26:31- There's no haggling.- Come on, you're a politician, I'm a politician,
0:26:31 > 0:26:34let's just make a quick deal and then we'll be done.
0:26:34 > 0:26:36There's no deal, it's got fuck-all to do with me.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Come on, it hasn't got fuck-all to do with you at all.
0:26:38 > 0:26:41You could give me a cheque for £1,000 and say Derek left you with it. I don't know.
0:26:41 > 0:26:45Look, it's the bloody principle of it. He walked out. He walked out on me.
0:26:45 > 0:26:47You're quite right, it is the principle.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50- If Derek rings me and tells me to pay, then I'll pay it. - OK, hang on a second. Wait.
0:26:50 > 0:26:52Gentleman's agreement. If Derek rings you and tells you...
0:26:52 > 0:26:56- I'll pay it.- You'll pay a tenner. - Of course.- 10.65?- Of course.
0:26:56 > 0:26:58All right, bloody all right. Have a lovely day. Cheers.
0:26:58 > 0:26:59Fucking UKIP.
0:26:59 > 0:27:02# Whoa-oh, Black Betty Bam-a-lam
0:27:02 > 0:27:03# Whoa-oh, Black Betty Bam-a-lam
0:27:03 > 0:27:05# Black Betty had a child Bam-a-lam
0:27:05 > 0:27:08# The damn thing gone wild Bam-a-lam
0:27:08 > 0:27:10# She said I'm worrying out my mind Bam-a-lam
0:27:10 > 0:27:11# The damn thing gone blind Bam-a-lam
0:27:11 > 0:27:13# I said whoa-oh, Black Betty Bam-a-lam
0:27:13 > 0:27:15# Whoa-oh, Black Betty Bam-a-lam. #
0:27:20 > 0:27:23Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd