0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:39 > 0:00:44Hello, and welcome to the Sarah Millican Television Programme!
0:00:51 > 0:00:56It seems to me that lots of people are a bit snobby about watching the cable channels.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59But they're well worth flicking through.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02I've noticed a lot of the shows have "extreme" in the title.
0:01:02 > 0:01:04"Extreme Couponing".
0:01:05 > 0:01:11What's the extreme bit? Is Dad using the chainsaw to cut out the coupons?
0:01:11 > 0:01:14While a tiny child holds the magazine?
0:01:14 > 0:01:16"Extreme Furniture".
0:01:16 > 0:01:19That would just be me getting on a bar stool!
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Trying to keep the conversation going while doing the "hup" noise!
0:01:25 > 0:01:29I wish the Dog Whisperer was just a man leaning into a Yorkshire Terrier
0:01:29 > 0:01:31going, "Your breath stinks."
0:01:33 > 0:01:36Then there's "It's Me or the Dog",
0:01:36 > 0:01:39where people decide who did the turd on the kitchen floor!
0:01:40 > 0:01:41It's me or the dog!
0:01:41 > 0:01:44Someone's been eating out of the bin during the night.
0:01:44 > 0:01:46It's my other dog.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48Yeah, it was me.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03You know, times are tough. The economy is struggling. Lots of people are short of money.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05But, as ever, TV is there to help us out.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08Shows like SuperScrimpers are great.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11Here are some money-saving tips that I've learnt.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15Don't buy the SuperScrimpers book. Just get it out the library!
0:02:16 > 0:02:20Don't buy Christmas presents for elderly relatives too early.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Clean your windows with vinegar.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31That way, your kitchen smells of chips!
0:02:33 > 0:02:37Use your dad's pants as dusters, but not while he's still wearing them.
0:02:37 > 0:02:39If anything, it makes it more smeary!
0:02:45 > 0:02:50Make your own hair removal wax by melting sugar with water and lemon juice.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52I did that and it all went wrong.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Now I've got a caramel bikini line!
0:02:57 > 0:02:59But the boys seem to like it!
0:02:59 > 0:03:01And so do the wasps.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06Some of the money-saving tips are bloody rubbish, though.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09"Don't spend money on expensive gym memberships."
0:03:09 > 0:03:11That's it.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Just don't!
0:03:15 > 0:03:20"Save money on cotton wool. Use pieces of cut-up tights to remove nail varnish."
0:03:20 > 0:03:22But then you'll have to buy new tights!
0:03:22 > 0:03:27Save money on tights by sticking cotton wool to your legs.
0:03:29 > 0:03:34"Don't buy deodorisers for your shoes. Put cat litter in them overnight."
0:03:38 > 0:03:41But then your cat will have a shit in them!
0:03:44 > 0:03:46Mind, that smell of cheese is almost gone!
0:03:49 > 0:03:53"Save money on pets. Make friends with a dog owner and walk their dog."
0:03:53 > 0:03:57Save money on a partner. Have sex with your friend's husband.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03Now, we all need help understanding this stuff,
0:04:03 > 0:04:05and who better to give us that help
0:04:05 > 0:04:08than TV's money-saving expert, Martin Lewis.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18Hello, Martin. Thank you very much for joining us.
0:04:18 > 0:04:23Now, do you actually spend anything, or are you just a tight-arse?
0:04:23 > 0:04:25LAUGHTER
0:04:29 > 0:04:32APPLAUSE
0:04:35 > 0:04:37I have spent a penny, on occasion, if that counts!
0:04:41 > 0:04:45Is any of the shampoo in your house not nicked from a hotel?
0:04:48 > 0:04:52The thing is, what you do with that...
0:04:52 > 0:04:53That's a no, then!
0:04:53 > 0:04:55It's an implied freebie when you go into a hotel.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59There's nothing wrong with taking them. Stealing the towels and dressing gown is difficult!
0:04:59 > 0:05:04- But the shampoo is there to be used. - You said "difficult"! You didn't say it was different!
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Take me away now!
0:05:13 > 0:05:17Are you... One of your tips is you say take a sponge into the shower
0:05:17 > 0:05:20cos it saves soap, doesn't it?
0:05:20 > 0:05:24Does it have to be a sponge, or could a Swiss roll do the job?
0:05:26 > 0:05:30It's not actually one of my tips, but I like it anyway.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33It would be dual purpose. You know, you'd enjoy it.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37Exactly. You'd have a bite first before you start under your armpits!
0:05:38 > 0:05:41What's your thermostat set at at home?
0:05:41 > 0:05:45Um... Four jumpers and a big blanket!
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Really? Do you wear jumpers in the house? Do you know what number it's on?
0:05:51 > 0:05:53It doesn't work. It's set as a temperature. It's a bit accurate.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56I think, since you ask the question, it's at 68 degrees Fahrenheit
0:05:56 > 0:05:59and it's turned off as soon as possible after the winter ends.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03I'd like to be anything more, but I've got a little baby and she's more important than saving money!
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Aw!
0:06:05 > 0:06:07Hasn't she got any jumpers?
0:06:11 > 0:06:16When you give your wife flowers, are they usually wreaths you've found on the side of the road?
0:06:18 > 0:06:20You ask that, I was so proud the other week
0:06:20 > 0:06:25cos there was a lovely bunch of flowers reduced to 20p in the supermarket.
0:06:25 > 0:06:30And normally, when you buy flowers, you take the price off,
0:06:30 > 0:06:33but I was so proud of the bargain, I left it on, just to show her!
0:06:33 > 0:06:36- It's true!- And what did she say?
0:06:36 > 0:06:39She was delighted. She's tighter than I am!
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Even after having a baby?
0:06:54 > 0:06:57You mentioned that you have a baby. Congratulations.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59I'm surprised you didn't have twins, though.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02Did they not have a BOGOF on babies at the time?
0:07:02 > 0:07:06But you did get a good return on your deposit, which is nice(!)
0:07:10 > 0:07:14Um, did you give... Oh, no, I don't know if I can do that!
0:07:14 > 0:07:17Don't do it. Whatever it was, don't do it!
0:07:17 > 0:07:21Did you give your wife an injection of liquidity?
0:07:23 > 0:07:25No, but I've got a great endowment!
0:07:25 > 0:07:28LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:07:33 > 0:07:37One of your money-saving tips is to buy cheap cola and flush it down the toilet.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40Is that to clean it, or just cos it's horrible!
0:07:41 > 0:07:43It does, it does a really good clean.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47If you talk about bicarbonate of soda and white vinegar are really good.
0:07:47 > 0:07:51But I have to admit, there are some things that I say which I admit even I don't do myself.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53If you're on a water meter,
0:07:53 > 0:07:57there's the old phrase, "If it's yellow, let it mellow,
0:07:57 > 0:08:00"if it's brown, flush it down."
0:08:00 > 0:08:04I have to say I draw the line a bit above that one.
0:08:04 > 0:08:08I flush. I press the little flush, not the big flush.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Don't press the big flush if it's just a bit of yellow.
0:08:11 > 0:08:12You press the little flush.
0:08:12 > 0:08:16The thing with my diet, sometimes I need to do the two and then a bucket of water.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23If you were Chancellor of the Exchequer, what would you do?
0:08:23 > 0:08:25Resign!
0:08:32 > 0:08:36Thank you very much, Martin. You've been a brilliant guest. Ladies and gentlemen, Martin Lewis!
0:08:40 > 0:08:45So I've listened to his advice, but there must be an easier way of making money. There must be.
0:08:45 > 0:08:46Ah!
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Let's have a go at this.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Pizza, pizza, pizza! Hooray!
0:09:08 > 0:09:12I had a horrible feeling there was going to be fruit coming out. Thank God that didn't happen!
0:09:12 > 0:09:14There you go, flower!
0:09:14 > 0:09:17It's more than Martin got paid, but...
0:09:19 > 0:09:23Have you noticed there are so many history programmes on TV at the moment?
0:09:23 > 0:09:27Everything I've learned about history, I've got from Blackadder!
0:09:32 > 0:09:37I told Blackadder's writer Richard Curtis, and he was both thrilled and appalled.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41I take most history with a pinch of salt,
0:09:41 > 0:09:43especially the history of Tequila!
0:09:43 > 0:09:45AUDIENCE CHEERS
0:09:46 > 0:09:49We didn't do History at school. We just did Humanities.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51So we just coloured in Romans for four years!
0:09:51 > 0:09:55The only thing I know is that the Romans wore pink outfits.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59We didn't do World War II at school.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01But I heard about it from my granddad.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04I wasn't sure if I'd follow it, because I hadn't seen World War I.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09But I do know a few things.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12The Romantic Era was when Spandau Ballet were top of the hit parade.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17The Great Depression lasted from 1929 to World War II
0:10:17 > 0:10:19because that's when everyone cheered up!
0:10:19 > 0:10:22Ought to be something happening now!
0:10:22 > 0:10:25Stockings, chocolate and GI blow-jobs!
0:10:27 > 0:10:30I saw in the listings that a show called Secrets of World War II
0:10:30 > 0:10:32was on at 6.45am.
0:10:32 > 0:10:36I thought, "Put it on at that time and they'll stay secret!"
0:10:38 > 0:10:41It's not just the history programmes that have ancient artefacts on.
0:10:41 > 0:10:46The other day on Top Gear, I saw some opinions from the 1970s.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:10:55 > 0:10:58I love Who Do You Think You Are? Bloody love it.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01But every time it comes on, I'm disappointed that the theme tune
0:11:01 > 0:11:03isn't "Swing it, shake it, move it, make it!"
0:11:05 > 0:11:08By Series 25, it'll be called, Who the Fuck is That?
0:11:13 > 0:11:17The Australian version of Who Do You Think You Are? is called, What Do You Think You Did?
0:11:22 > 0:11:26I've actually been on Who Do You Think You Are? They don't tell you where you're going beforehand.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28I had to have "cold weather training".
0:11:28 > 0:11:32My boyfriend said, "That'll be for the bit when you go back to South Shields"!
0:11:34 > 0:11:38When we were filming at my parents' house, the crew needed us to be quiet
0:11:38 > 0:11:40while they recorded the sound of the room.
0:11:40 > 0:11:45The sound man said, "Recording at Sarah's parents' house, in the back room."
0:11:45 > 0:11:48My dad leaned right into the microphone and said,
0:11:48 > 0:11:50"Dining room."
0:11:58 > 0:12:00I still feel a bit bad for not knowing much about history,
0:12:00 > 0:12:04so to explain it all to me, please welcome TV historian, Dan Cruickshank.
0:12:12 > 0:12:13Hello!
0:12:13 > 0:12:16Are you well?
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Dan, welcome to the show. Thank you very much for coming.
0:12:18 > 0:12:23- Can we go back to ancient times? - You can try.- Thank you.- Thank you.
0:12:23 > 0:12:27Before the Iron Age, was everything just really creased?
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Well, very bent. Very bent and wobbly, I'm sure.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Bent and wobbly.
0:12:33 > 0:12:38What is oral history? I've heard that happens to most couples, after a while.
0:12:40 > 0:12:41Explain.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45I'm not going to explain that to you!
0:12:45 > 0:12:48I'm certainly not going to explain it you. Not now, anyway!
0:12:48 > 0:12:51Not now. We'll do that... Well, not do it... It's...
0:12:54 > 0:12:57As part of your series, The Art of Dying,
0:12:57 > 0:13:02you asked the BBC Obituary Department if you could read your own obituary.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04Did it have a date on it?
0:13:07 > 0:13:11- I didn't ask for that. - Oh! They just gave you it?!
0:13:11 > 0:13:13- You know what television's like. - Hmm, I do.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15You do. It's pretty ghastly.
0:13:15 > 0:13:19- And, um...- I'm having a lovely time, just so you know.
0:13:21 > 0:13:26Apart from this evening. It wasn't my idea, but the producer decided to have my obituary written.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28It was disappointing. It was short.
0:13:28 > 0:13:29But he told me... He told me...
0:13:29 > 0:13:34I'd reached a reasonable average level. I don't know, a page and a bit.
0:13:34 > 0:13:38I've written mine, so tell us what you think of this.
0:13:38 > 0:13:42"Here lies Sarah Millican. She finally finished all the biscuits.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47"She's buried with her cats.
0:13:47 > 0:13:48"They're not happy.
0:13:51 > 0:13:54"But at least they won't be hungry for a bit.
0:13:58 > 0:14:01"She bought a double plot, so can you let Phillip Schofield know, please."
0:14:04 > 0:14:07What historical figures would you have for dinner?
0:14:07 > 0:14:11Oh, now, this would be to entertain?
0:14:11 > 0:14:13I don't mean like you would eat them.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18- Good for you.- All the fat ones!
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Have over for dinner.
0:14:23 > 0:14:25I live in Spitalfields in East London.
0:14:25 > 0:14:28And there's a notorious character there,
0:14:28 > 0:14:30now dead, thank goodness, we suppose,
0:14:30 > 0:14:32- Jack the Ripper.- Oh.
0:14:32 > 0:14:38I suppose I would rather like to have this mysterious character at my dining table
0:14:38 > 0:14:39to question him.
0:14:39 > 0:14:43You'd want a few others as well, cos that would just be awkward, if it was just you and him!
0:14:43 > 0:14:45He may reveal his secrets!
0:14:45 > 0:14:51Cos you had a thought that Jack the Ripper may have lived in your house, is that correct?
0:14:51 > 0:14:53He had a sense of humour. Wicked sense of humour.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55He wanted to torment and tease the police force.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59And my house is just a few doors down from the police station.
0:14:59 > 0:15:04And then I thought, "He'd probably lodge in the area, wouldn't he?"
0:15:04 > 0:15:08And my house would have been a perfect place.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10It was a cheap lodging house at the time.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12So you've come to this in quite an intelligent way.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15I just thought maybe you were still getting his post!
0:15:17 > 0:15:18That's it!
0:15:22 > 0:15:25Now, which other car parks have got kings in?
0:15:26 > 0:15:29- That was a brilliant story, wasn't it?- That was such a good story!
0:15:29 > 0:15:33I understand the fact that he was found in a car park,
0:15:33 > 0:15:37because I've lost my car in a car park and wandered round and gone,
0:15:37 > 0:15:40"I think I'm going to die in here!"
0:15:40 > 0:15:42So I totally get it. I totally get it.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Does it annoy you when people say, "And the rest is history."
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Because you're like, "Come on, that's the bit that's great!"
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Everything is history, isn't it? Everything is history.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53This is history now, thank goodness!
0:16:00 > 0:16:03- Living history.- Harsh!
0:16:04 > 0:16:08All history is something that happened yesterday, or even a few minutes ago.
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Things you can reflect on and learn lessons from.
0:16:11 > 0:16:14So the bit where I nearly had to describe to you what oral sex was,
0:16:14 > 0:16:17- that's history?- It's now definitely history!
0:16:17 > 0:16:18- But...- I liked that bit of history.
0:16:20 > 0:16:23You've been such an interesting guest. Thanks for coming on the show.
0:16:23 > 0:16:26Ladies and gentlemen, Dan Cruickshank.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38That's history sorted!
0:16:38 > 0:16:39Let's get back to proper telly!
0:16:40 > 0:16:44Though structured reality shows are as popular as ever, aren't they,
0:16:44 > 0:16:46there are three types of people who watch TOWIE.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48People who watch ironically,
0:16:48 > 0:16:50people who want to have that lifestyle,
0:16:50 > 0:16:52and people who've lost their remote control.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00If I wanted to find out inane nonsense about people I don't know or care about,
0:17:00 > 0:17:02I'd phone me mam!
0:17:06 > 0:17:09TOWIE gave the world the "vajazzle".
0:17:09 > 0:17:12Why call it that? Why not "glunt" or "sequim"?
0:17:22 > 0:17:25In TOWIE, you can always tell when your fella's having an affair,
0:17:25 > 0:17:28cos he comes back from a night out with a glittery mouth!
0:17:33 > 0:17:36They even had anal bleaching!
0:17:36 > 0:17:40They say you can't polish a turd, but you can give it a big entrance!
0:17:43 > 0:17:46But my favourite reality show is Made in Chelsea,
0:17:46 > 0:17:49as that's the one that's closest to my lifestyle.
0:17:51 > 0:17:54A non-stop round of partying, modelling and fashion blogging.
0:17:54 > 0:17:58Sniff me leggings. I can get another day out of them!
0:18:04 > 0:18:07One of the blokes is the VIP host for a celebrity hang-out.
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Talk about made-up job titles!
0:18:10 > 0:18:12He might as well be a unicorn trainer!
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Most of the women in Made in Chelsea are "ladies who lunch".
0:18:18 > 0:18:20I don't see what's so impressive about that!
0:18:20 > 0:18:22I lunch, breakfast, brunch, dinner and tea!
0:18:23 > 0:18:25Don't take me on, ladies!
0:18:25 > 0:18:28One of them is called Binky.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31She sounds like she's been named by a xylophone!
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Along with her brother, Plinky-Plonk.
0:18:37 > 0:18:40They seem to just keep the nicknames they had at school!
0:18:40 > 0:18:43If I did that, I'd be called Norma No-Mates!
0:18:46 > 0:18:49I'd like to know more about the world of Made in Chelsea,
0:18:49 > 0:18:50because I think I'd fit right in.
0:18:50 > 0:18:55So to tell me all about it, please welcome a former star of the show, Gabriella Ellis.
0:19:05 > 0:19:09- Hello, Gabriella.- Hello.- Welcome to the show. Thanks very much for coming.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Just how posh are you?
0:19:11 > 0:19:15Like, do you make common boyfriends use the tradesmen's entrance?
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Um, posh?
0:19:19 > 0:19:21We live in Chelsea,
0:19:21 > 0:19:23so we get branded as really posh,
0:19:23 > 0:19:27but I'm the same as everyone else, I like to think.
0:19:27 > 0:19:33- And you had to make a difficult choice to leave.- I did, yes.
0:19:33 > 0:19:35Was that because of the bedroom tax, or...
0:19:38 > 0:19:41- It must have been hard. Was it hard? - It was very difficult, actually.
0:19:41 > 0:19:44I didn't tell anyone that I was leaving.
0:19:44 > 0:19:50So the last scene that you see, when I walk in the room and say I'm leaving, everyone burst into tears.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53It was two years of my life. It was a big, big part.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56- That's nice that they burst into tears.- It was.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58If they'd just went, "Bye!"
0:19:58 > 0:20:00- See you!- That would be my worry.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02You're a bit of a role model, aren't you?
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Nowadays, a lot of kids want rich parents, don't they?
0:20:08 > 0:20:11Have you ever wanted to visit the north and see how the other half live?
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Like Camden, for example?
0:20:13 > 0:20:16- I've been to Camden!- You've been to Camden.- I've been to Camden, yes.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19Is this the furthest north you've been, Salford?
0:20:19 > 0:20:22- I've been to Sunderland.- Wow! - Is that further? Yes.- Why?- Cos...
0:20:24 > 0:20:28Do the Chelsea girls go in for the vajazzling as well?
0:20:28 > 0:20:29Like TOWIE and the lady gardener?
0:20:29 > 0:20:32But is it like posher where you've got somebody in, like.
0:20:32 > 0:20:34You've got your own lady gardener.
0:20:36 > 0:20:39To look after, you know. To trim your box hedging.
0:20:42 > 0:20:44We're not really into our vajazzles.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47We like to just, you know, keep it clean.
0:20:47 > 0:20:48- Keep it clean's good!- Keep it clean.
0:20:51 > 0:20:53I think I could fit in.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55- I think you could. - In that show. I really do.
0:20:55 > 0:20:59I do need a little bit of help with this area!
0:20:59 > 0:21:01- With the?- With the accent.
0:21:01 > 0:21:05Because at the moment I do sound a lot like I could work in any call centre, don't I?
0:21:08 > 0:21:12"Hello, you're through to Orange. I understand you're thinking of leaving." See?
0:21:20 > 0:21:23So what I think I need is a highly-trained vocal coach.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Please welcome Samantha Mesagno.
0:21:33 > 0:21:34- Hello.- Hello.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38- Thanks for coming on, pet. - My pleasure.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Are you going to teach me to talk all dead posh and that
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- like Gabriella?- I'll do my best. - Yeah?- Yes.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46OK. How the hell are we going to do that?
0:21:46 > 0:21:49First of all, I'd like you to stand up for me
0:21:49 > 0:21:52because I think what we'll do first is a bit of centring and rooting work.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54SARAH GIGGLES
0:21:54 > 0:21:58This is going to help to give you confidence when you're doing the audition.
0:21:58 > 0:22:01I do feel confident when I've had a good root. I do.
0:22:02 > 0:22:06Perfect. What I'd like you to do is stand with your feet hip-width apart
0:22:06 > 0:22:08- and place your hands on... - Hip-width?!
0:22:11 > 0:22:13And place your hands on your belly for me.
0:22:13 > 0:22:15Which belly?
0:22:15 > 0:22:19Do you want the one in my knickers or the one that's just over the top?
0:22:19 > 0:22:20Just around your belly button area.
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Belly button. That bit there?
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Absolutely. So how this is going to go,
0:22:25 > 0:22:27is I'm going to give you a double bounce of sound
0:22:27 > 0:22:29and you're going to repeat it.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32- OK.- Then I'll do another double bounce of sound and you repeat it.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35We're going to work on the lovely RP vowels when we do this, all right?
0:22:35 > 0:22:37OK. Stop laughing, you!
0:22:37 > 0:22:39Hands on the belly. Focus on that centre, and...
0:22:39 > 0:22:41Huh! Huh-huh!
0:22:44 > 0:22:46- Give it a try. Huh-huh!- Lovely.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49- Hi-hi!- Hi-hi.
0:22:49 > 0:22:51- Ho-ho.- Ho-ho.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54I feel like Santa, now! Ho-ho-ho!
0:22:54 > 0:22:55Ho-ho-ho-ho!
0:22:56 > 0:22:57- You're doing very well.- Thanks.
0:22:57 > 0:23:01The next thing we're going to work on now is something called oral posture.
0:23:01 > 0:23:03Oh, that's down on me knees?
0:23:03 > 0:23:06LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:23:12 > 0:23:14- No?- Oral posture is...
0:23:14 > 0:23:17Cos if you're in the car, you just lean over.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21That's when we're looking at what the lips, teeth, tongue and jaw are doing
0:23:21 > 0:23:23and primarily we're going to focus in...
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Teeth? Teeth?!
0:23:26 > 0:23:29I'm almost certain you're not supposed to use teeth.
0:23:29 > 0:23:31Just a little bit, like...
0:23:33 > 0:23:36That's all right. Looking at the jaw for this one.
0:23:36 > 0:23:40So with RP, what we're after is a lovely released jaw.
0:23:40 > 0:23:42That means there'll be more space in the mouth...
0:23:45 > 0:23:49Absolutely. So there's lots more room for those lovely RP vowels to bounce around.
0:23:49 > 0:23:51There's lots of room in there!
0:23:52 > 0:23:53So, you're going to love this.
0:23:53 > 0:23:55I'd like you to place your hands together.
0:23:55 > 0:24:00Brilliant. I want you to adopt a dropped-jaw position, which is "Uh".
0:24:00 > 0:24:02- Absolutely. - LAUGHTER
0:24:02 > 0:24:04- Shut up!- And what I'd like you to do...
0:24:04 > 0:24:08What I'd like you to do is we're going to shake our hands forward and backwards...
0:24:17 > 0:24:19I promise there is a purpose to this!
0:24:19 > 0:24:22The head should stay beautifully still,
0:24:22 > 0:24:24the jaws should be lovely and released.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27And we're going to be doing it on an "Ah" sound.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30Do an "ah" sound. So you can watch me, if you like, first of all,
0:24:30 > 0:24:32- and then...- I'd like to.- All right.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36Ahhhhh!
0:24:38 > 0:24:39Now your turn.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45- Ready?- Yeah.- And...
0:24:45 > 0:24:47TOGETHER: Ahhhhh!
0:24:49 > 0:24:51- Very well done. - It's a really small one!
0:24:52 > 0:24:54Aw!
0:24:54 > 0:24:55Look. Aw!
0:24:55 > 0:24:58That's brilliant for loosening the jaw,
0:24:58 > 0:25:02because I can see that yours... Actually, it might not be that tight. Moving on.
0:25:04 > 0:25:08The next... The next thing I really want us to look at
0:25:08 > 0:25:14is the vowel changes. I'm moving on to the major, major RP vowel sounds.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18The first one that I'd like you to consider is the "O" sound.
0:25:18 > 0:25:23Found in the words like "don't" and "know". Say that for me.
0:25:23 > 0:25:26- GEORDIE ACCENT:- Don't. Know.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29- That's how I say it. Don't and know. - So give me the O sound.
0:25:29 > 0:25:31- O.- Much better!
0:25:35 > 0:25:37- Incorporate that now... - MIMICS A CROW
0:25:39 > 0:25:43- O.- Don't.- Don't.- Know.- Know.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45- Much better! Well done! - POSH:- I don't know.
0:25:50 > 0:25:55And last but not least, the other really important vowel is the long vowel sound "Ah"
0:25:55 > 0:25:59moving from its short position, potentially with your accent,
0:25:59 > 0:26:02So if you were saying words like laugh and bath and grass,
0:26:02 > 0:26:06they would be lengthened with a long "ah" sound
0:26:06 > 0:26:08to bath, laugh, grass.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10Give it a go for me.
0:26:10 > 0:26:11- POSH VOICE:- Laugh.- Good.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13- Bath.- Lovely.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15- Grass.- Very good!
0:26:20 > 0:26:22I think I've got it. I really do.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25I just need to accessorise. Bear with us a second.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:26:43 > 0:26:46Why don't you say this and have a conversation with Gabriella?
0:26:46 > 0:26:47Oh, God! OK.
0:26:47 > 0:26:49OK. Let's do this.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53- POSH VOICE:- "So anyway, like...
0:26:54 > 0:26:58.."I'm having drinkies with Binky and Cheska
0:26:58 > 0:27:01"when who should so turn up but Millie.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04"And, like, she's so up in my grill.
0:27:06 > 0:27:10"And she's like, 'Way', and I'm like, 'No way'.
0:27:10 > 0:27:14"So I totally throw my glass of pop in her face.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18"Only Cava. Totally worth it.
0:27:21 > 0:27:25"Anyway, j'adore Chelsea. Don't you think, Gabs?"
0:27:25 > 0:27:28GEORDIE ACCENT: I'd never know what you were talking about, pet!
0:27:36 > 0:27:39Thank you very much for coming on the show.
0:27:39 > 0:27:43Ladies and gentlemen, Gabriella Ellis and Samantha Mesagno.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54- SEXY, POSH VOICE:- That's it for tonight.
0:27:55 > 0:28:02Unfortunately, we didn't have time to talk about the BBC's economics editor, Stephanie Flanders,
0:28:02 > 0:28:05whose radio show is called Stephanomics.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08It's a shame she doesn't do it on the telly.
0:28:08 > 0:28:11She could show statistics on a "Stephy graph".
0:28:14 > 0:28:20Business news, which is what we call it at home when the cat's like totally shat where he shouldn't.
0:28:20 > 0:28:24And we didn't have time to talk about the rest of history.
0:28:24 > 0:28:27Apparently, there's like fucking loads of it.
0:28:28 > 0:28:30Ciao!
0:28:53 > 0:28:55Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd