0:00:04 > 0:00:05- Hello?- 'Steve? It's Rob.'
0:00:05 > 0:00:07Oh, hey, hey.
0:00:07 > 0:00:08'How's the show going?'
0:00:08 > 0:00:11Just finished, just started the hiatus.
0:00:11 > 0:00:14'Yeah, I know I spoke to your agent. Listen, The Observer wants us
0:00:14 > 0:00:15'to do more restaurant reviews,
0:00:15 > 0:00:16- 'another six lunches.'- Really?
0:00:16 > 0:00:18'But this time in Italy.
0:00:18 > 0:00:21'La bella Italia, yeah?
0:00:21 > 0:00:22'What do you think?'
0:00:22 > 0:00:25- Well...- 'And they'll fly you to Europe.'- First class?
0:00:25 > 0:00:27'No, they're offering business.'
0:00:30 > 0:00:33So, how did it go last night with Yolanda?
0:00:33 > 0:00:34Good, mission accomplished.
0:00:34 > 0:00:38Everyone's happy at Houston Ground Control.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41- Small panic when I disappeared around the dark side of moon.- Oh!
0:00:41 > 0:00:43I lost communication,
0:00:43 > 0:00:48but both of us achieved a very satisfactory splashdown
0:00:48 > 0:00:52and, at which point, Houston broke into a round of applause.
0:00:52 > 0:00:56When Vesuvius erupted, it just went - BANG!
0:00:56 > 0:00:59And...a cacophonous bang.
0:00:59 > 0:01:01They would've seen a plume of smoke, just - BOOM!
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Right from back there, boom,
0:01:03 > 0:01:05and a cloud going up into the sky.
0:01:05 > 0:01:0730,000 Hiroshima bombs,
0:01:07 > 0:01:10200 megatons, imagine that loud a sound.
0:01:10 > 0:01:13This whole city's preserved
0:01:13 > 0:01:15in formaldehyde that's artificial.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17That's so remarkable.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19It's like a photograph of the past.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22It's a sculpture of the past.
0:01:22 > 0:01:24Well, yeah, a sculpture as an impression,
0:01:24 > 0:01:27- a photograph, that's reality. - Yeah, but a sculpture is 3-D.
0:01:27 > 0:01:28A photograph is 2-D.
0:01:28 > 0:01:32Yeah. Yeah, yes. Yeah, yeah, all right.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Yeah, these people just got caught frozen in their death throes.
0:01:35 > 0:01:36- Look at his sandal.- Wow!
0:01:36 > 0:01:39- They're like yours.- They are, aren't they? Yeah, they are.
0:01:39 > 0:01:41It shows you that, even 2,000 years ago, there were people
0:01:41 > 0:01:43with bad dress sense.
0:01:43 > 0:01:44For me, the big question is,
0:01:44 > 0:01:46how did he get in the box?
0:01:49 > 0:01:50Was he an illusionist?
0:01:50 > 0:01:54Was he a sort of David Blaine of his day?
0:01:54 > 0:01:57But it is incredible, cos look, he's gone in, he's sealed it.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00He's like that guy they found in the holdall in the bath.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05It's a small man in the box.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09"Here I am. Oh, my word, how did I get in here?
0:02:09 > 0:02:11"I can see the volcano erupting
0:02:11 > 0:02:15"and I am petrified."
0:02:15 > 0:02:16The thing is he was real.
0:02:16 > 0:02:19This is a real man who died.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21I wonder if anyone cried for him.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25I wonder if anyone who escaped loved him and cried about him.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27"We didn't get on."
0:02:37 > 0:02:40"It seems like he's a little oversensitive to me."
0:02:40 > 0:02:42I agree.
0:02:42 > 0:02:44"Are you knocking about with him?"
0:02:44 > 0:02:46Yeah, we're just travelling round Italy.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50"Oh, my God, it must be a nightmare for you."
0:02:50 > 0:02:52It really is. In many ways, I envy you.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56You're inside the box. I mean, at least for you, it's muffled.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59"Yeah, I'm just picking up the odd word, to be honest with you,
0:02:59 > 0:03:03"but, you know, in all honestly, I'm kind of glad I died when I did
0:03:03 > 0:03:05"and I never got the chance to meet the guy."
0:03:05 > 0:03:07I know, I know.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11If I could climb in there with you, I would.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Anyway, it's been really good to talk.
0:03:13 > 0:03:14"Yeah, you too, fella."
0:03:14 > 0:03:15What's that?
0:03:15 > 0:03:18"I just said I love your sandals."
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Thank you. Thank you very much. I like yours too. Take it easy.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04When Vesuvius erupted...
0:04:04 > 0:04:08- Oh, it was a bang.- Ooh, it went, ooh! - Oh, it was a bang. No, no, no.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09No, no, shut your face.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11No, I haven't heard a bang as loud as that since...
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Oh, no, shut up, so...titter you not.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16No, but it went bang, you see, and it all just...
0:04:16 > 0:04:19- That was good, the "you see" you put in.- Yes. No.- You see...
0:04:19 > 0:04:23There was this big bang, you see. All this lava going down the road.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Oh, no! Jeez, jeez...all over.
0:04:26 > 0:04:27Oh, yes, it just, it swamped,
0:04:27 > 0:04:30and then the ash came down like a blanket of death.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Oh, a blanket of death.
0:04:32 > 0:04:33Did you see the way I did that?
0:04:33 > 0:04:35Oh! And it was out of Shakespeare, was it?
0:04:35 > 0:04:39Oh, I was rather good there, wasn't I?
0:04:39 > 0:04:40Just shut up, you.
0:04:47 > 0:04:52Oh, it's amazing, isn't it, to think that 2,000 years ago,
0:04:52 > 0:04:55people just assembled here
0:04:55 > 0:04:56to watch Frankie Howerd?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01We're a bit late, sorry.
0:05:01 > 0:05:03- Sorry.- Hello.- Think we're in row nine, sorry.
0:05:03 > 0:05:08Spartacus, the film, they re-cut it in 1990, the director's cut,
0:05:08 > 0:05:10and put back in a homoerotic scene
0:05:10 > 0:05:13that had been excised from the original version.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15And it's between Tony Curtis and Laurence Olivier,
0:05:15 > 0:05:17but they couldn't find the sound.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19And Laurence Olivier was dead, so they asked Joan Plowright
0:05:19 > 0:05:21and she said, "Get Anthony Hopkins."
0:05:21 > 0:05:23- He always did the best... - Tony Hopkins.
0:05:23 > 0:05:25..best Laurence Olivier.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28HE IMITATES ANTHONY HOPKINS
0:05:28 > 0:05:31Do you like snails? Or oysters?
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Oh, that's how I do him. I do him like that.
0:05:33 > 0:05:35That's how he sounded. That's how I remember him.
0:05:35 > 0:05:37I used to work with him in the National Theatre.
0:05:37 > 0:05:40- I auditioned for him. He said, "What have we got here?"- Well, erm...
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Of course, I'd grown up in Margam, Port Talbot,
0:05:42 > 0:05:45just down the same road as Rob Brydon's father. Wonderful man.
0:05:45 > 0:05:49- And yet, you've never met him, which is odd...- I've met my father. What are you talking about?
0:05:49 > 0:05:51- You've never met Anthony Hopkins, it's odd...- I never met him.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54..there's only a few of you from Wales and you haven't him.
0:05:54 > 0:05:58Isn't that weird, you do him all the time, but you haven't met him? Twice I've met him. Once, at a charity do,
0:05:58 > 0:06:01the other time, in a talk show. He went, "Go on, do me. Do me." And I went,
0:06:01 > 0:06:04"Come back here, Mr Fryer! Come back here, Mr Fryer!
0:06:04 > 0:06:06"Goddamn your eyes, sir! You turned your back on me."
0:06:06 > 0:06:09And he went, "Ha!" Like that.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12- He is aware of me.- He's aware of you, but he's been trying to avoid you.
0:06:12 > 0:06:15He's aware of me because I did a play last year with Sir Ken Branagh.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19He'd sent to Ken an e-mail and he said, "Do say hello to
0:06:19 > 0:06:21Rob for me," because he'd seen me on a talk show doing him.
0:06:21 > 0:06:23He said, "Tell him he does me very well.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25"He makes me sound like a lunatic, but in a good way."
0:06:25 > 0:06:28He said, "And tell him he does a very good Ronnie Corbett."
0:06:28 > 0:06:29What do you think about that then?
0:06:29 > 0:06:31It's great, but you've still not met him.
0:06:31 > 0:06:35- No, but he mentioned me in an e-mail. - I've met him twice, and I'm not even Welsh. And I'm not even Welsh.
0:06:35 > 0:06:39Yes, but he hasn't taken the trouble to write about you. Anybody can run into someone.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43You talk a lot, he's probably humouring you. But with me, he sat down, he wrote a bloody e-mail.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46- He's written about me. How does that make you feel?- I had dinner with him.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48- Yeah, but he's written about me. - I had dinner with him.
0:06:48 > 0:06:52"Tell Rob he does a wonderful impression. He makes me sound
0:06:52 > 0:06:55"like a lunatic, AND I love his Ronnie Corbett."
0:06:55 > 0:06:58Yep, you're giving it an emphasis in a very pretty accurate voice,
0:06:58 > 0:07:00- I have to say, that you're doing... - Thank you very much.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03..but the emphasis you're giving is way out of proportion to what he did.
0:07:03 > 0:07:07- He passed on a Post-It note, basically.- Just imagine Tony now is living in Malibu, California.
0:07:07 > 0:07:10Wonderful life. "I'm enjoying it here. I can wear a T-shirt. It's wonderful.
0:07:10 > 0:07:12"What am I going to do today? I want to write about
0:07:12 > 0:07:14"how I feel about Rob Brydon.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16"He's a wonderful actor. I'm going to sit down."
0:07:16 > 0:07:18He sat down at his desk. He took out his laptop computer.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22It's a remarkable thing. It's like a desktop, but you can fold the lid.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25He opened it up, he sat down. He probably browsed the internet for a while first.
0:07:25 > 0:07:27We won't say what he was looking at.
0:07:27 > 0:07:30And then he said, "I'm going to write to my good friend, Sir Kenneth Branagh.
0:07:30 > 0:07:34"I'll write about Rob Brydon cos I think he's wonderful. I'll write about him now!
0:07:34 > 0:07:36"Ken, when you see Rob, tell him I thought he was wonderful."
0:07:36 > 0:07:40- I've zoned out, mate, I've zoned out.- And then, send. BOOM!
0:07:40 > 0:07:43Into the internet, into cyberspace. Eventually, it comes to me.
0:07:43 > 0:07:48Do you know where I am right now? I'm in Pompeii trying to think what it was actually like to be here.
0:07:48 > 0:07:50Is there a view for Marie Claire?
0:07:50 > 0:07:52We head instead to the green tip of the peninsula
0:07:52 > 0:07:54to the Relais Blu Belvedere,
0:07:54 > 0:07:58a beautiful, modernist, boutique hotel tucked away high above the sea.
0:07:58 > 0:08:02The marvellous terrace for summer service has a superb view of Capri.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Dishes with the flavours of Campania
0:08:04 > 0:08:07enhanced with skill and inventiveness.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11THEY SPEAK IN ITALIAN
0:08:11 > 0:08:15- STEVE SINGS:- # Was on the isle of Capri that he found her
0:08:15 > 0:08:19# Beneath the shade of the old walnut tree. #
0:08:19 > 0:08:22Two butch men in the foreground, Capri in the background,
0:08:22 > 0:08:25it could be an episode of The Professionals.
0:08:25 > 0:08:27STEVE GIGGLES
0:08:27 > 0:08:29Good afternoon. The table you booked is ready, OK?
0:08:29 > 0:08:32- Grazie, grazie.- Please, may I? - Grazie.
0:08:32 > 0:08:35Now, this, to me, is more like The Persuaders.
0:08:35 > 0:08:36This way, please.
0:08:36 > 0:08:39Grazie, Lord Brett Sinclair and Daniel Wilde.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41- Yes.- Your Lordship.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Serving amuse-bouche.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51Welcome from our chef, some bread with creme of cheese,
0:08:51 > 0:08:55a local cheese, and tartar of fresh salmon. OK?
0:08:55 > 0:08:57- Grazie mille.- Grazie mille.
0:08:57 > 0:09:01- First, amuse-bouche of the adventure. - Our bread.- Grazie.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04- Yes.- First amuse-bouche.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Medium, salty butter.
0:09:06 > 0:09:07Thank you, thank you.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10My bouche has not been amused.
0:09:10 > 0:09:13- So far on this trip, yeah? - No, it hasn't been. It hasn't been.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16And please don't think of that as a reflection on yourself.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19It's neither been amused nor closed.
0:09:19 > 0:09:20Mmm.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22That's nice.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24That's nice.
0:09:24 > 0:09:26FAR-OFF BELL RINGS
0:09:26 > 0:09:28The bell tolls for thee.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30For Whom The Bell Tolls.
0:09:30 > 0:09:33One of the last hits for The Bee Gees before the dying began.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35When Eight Bells Toll,
0:09:35 > 0:09:37- a novel by Alistair MacLean. - MacLean.
0:09:38 > 0:09:41- Turned into a film starring who? - Roger Moore.
0:09:41 > 0:09:43Oh, that's where you're most definitely wrong.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45Richard Harris.
0:09:45 > 0:09:47- No.- Sean Connery.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49I'm surprised you being a,
0:09:49 > 0:09:53if you'll forgive the affectionate over familiarity, a Taff.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55Was it Jason Donovan?
0:09:57 > 0:09:58He's not Welsh.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00No, it was a wild card.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02- Anthony Hopkins.- Was it Hopkins?
0:10:02 > 0:10:05Anthony Hopkins playing a secret agent. Very young.
0:10:05 > 0:10:07He was about sort of, I'd say, like mid '30s.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10When he was young, he was quite an earnest actor, really,
0:10:10 > 0:10:12wasn't he, Anthony Hopkins? He was a younger actor.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Piercing blue eyes. Piercing blue eyes.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16That's the greatest gift for any actor, sparkling blue eyes.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18- I know, I know. - Well, I've just said it.
0:10:18 > 0:10:21- And it makes me angry. I've got brown eyes.- Yes.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24I've noticed that they're beguiling, but they're not enchanting.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27- No, they're not beguiling. They're not enchanting. They're OK. - They're muddy.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30- George Clooney, not got blue eyes. - Yeah, but he's gorgeous, isn't he?
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Yeah, I'll tell you what he is, a lot of actors aren't, he's a man.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36Cos all the other actors all look like they're sort of old teenagers.
0:10:36 > 0:10:38We're men. We're men. We're men. You and I are men.
0:10:38 > 0:10:41We are. We're not boys.
0:10:41 > 0:10:43If anything, I'm a grandfather.
0:10:43 > 0:10:46I could play a very kindly grandfather,
0:10:46 > 0:10:48affable, but with a secret.
0:10:49 > 0:10:53"We've not seen grandma since 1996. Where is she?"
0:10:53 > 0:10:56"Well, she died. I remember I told you. Very, very sad.
0:10:56 > 0:10:57"Don't go down to the cellar."
0:10:57 > 0:10:59And they get down there.
0:10:59 > 0:11:02"That wall, didn't that wall used to be a bit further out?" "No need for you to look."
0:11:02 > 0:11:05"Grandad?" Aaah!
0:11:05 > 0:11:08- That's the kind of role I'd like to do.- You'd like to play a murdering grandad?
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Yes, never been done.
0:11:14 > 0:11:19We are serving our lobster with ravioli on celery and melon.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Your salad, sir, named summer.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24- Ah, well.- I've won.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26- Yes, you have won.- Ha-ha!
0:11:26 > 0:11:27Come on, come on.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Oh, quite sensual. You notice your lips made no contact with the fork.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38Yeah, didn't want the lips to make contact with the fork,
0:11:38 > 0:11:39cos I might get a Brydon disease.
0:11:43 > 0:11:44Tavola 33!
0:11:47 > 0:11:51Serving linguini pasta for you, sir, with bluefish and fresh tomato.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54- Grazie.- For you, sir, is home-made ravioli with rockfish and pepper.
0:11:54 > 0:11:55Grazie mille.
0:12:02 > 0:12:03Oh, my God.
0:12:05 > 0:12:06Not good?
0:12:06 > 0:12:08- That's fantastic.- Very, very nice.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10You know what would make this perfect now?
0:12:10 > 0:12:12Michael Buble.
0:12:12 > 0:12:15Bit of Buble. Do you like Buble? Where do you stand on Michael Buble?
0:12:15 > 0:12:16His windpipe.
0:12:16 > 0:12:18You don't mean that.
0:12:18 > 0:12:19Parkinson loves him.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21THEY IMITATE MICHAEL PARKINSON
0:12:21 > 0:12:24- Michael Buble.- Michael Buble. - Michael Buble.- Michael Buble.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26- Real music.- Real music.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29AS PARKINSON: Ah, wonderful. My guest today is Steve Coogan.
0:12:29 > 0:12:31Steve, I mean, you're in comedy.
0:12:31 > 0:12:35I mean, for you, character and comedian, maybe, you know,
0:12:35 > 0:12:37your roots in the north,
0:12:37 > 0:12:41I suppose for you Peter Kay would be the benchmark.
0:12:41 > 0:12:44I wouldn't call him the benchmark. I'd say...
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Sacha Baron Cohen would be another one, I suppose.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48I mean, Sacha, I had him on the show.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50- He's a strange man. He's a curious man.- He is a little, yeah.
0:12:50 > 0:12:54Do you watch him and do you take inspiration from Sacha Baren Cohen?
0:12:54 > 0:12:56I think we all take inspiration from each other
0:12:56 > 0:12:57when you're at a certain level.
0:12:57 > 0:12:59I suppose the benchmark is Gervais.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01I mean, The Office and Extras,
0:13:01 > 0:13:04Life Is Short. I mean, all of these programmes.
0:13:04 > 0:13:07Life Is Short maybe some people didn't think was so good, but that's by the by.
0:13:07 > 0:13:10But he was the first man to put a dwarf on mainstream television.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12It was quite an achievement, wasn't it?
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Yeah, well, if you look at it that way but, you know...
0:13:14 > 0:13:17I love Simon Pegg. I mean, I watch him in the Star Trek films, you know.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20Yeah, I haven't seen them, but I'm told they're very good
0:13:20 > 0:13:22and, as I said, I'm delighted for his success.
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Cos he worked with Tom Cruise as he does in Mission: Impossible.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27I mean, imagine working with Tom Cruise!
0:13:27 > 0:13:29I have worked with Tom Cruise. I worked on Tropic Thunder.
0:13:29 > 0:13:33- You died in the first ten minutes. You died in the first ten... - I definitely died, yes.
0:13:33 > 0:13:36- I died in the first ten minutes. - I felt you died in the first five minutes, in all honesty,
0:13:36 > 0:13:39but that's just my view. We'll come back to Steve.
0:13:39 > 0:13:41Here's Michael Buble, with a new record.
0:13:43 > 0:13:45- When we think about you, we think about the '90s, don't we?- Yeah.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48- What?- We think about the '90s. What a wonderful period that was!
0:13:48 > 0:13:50We think Oasis, Blur,
0:13:50 > 0:13:52you smacked off your tits in a central London hotel trying
0:13:52 > 0:13:55to get your life together, but you've turned it around now, haven't you?
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Tell us about your recovery.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59Well, I'd rather not, I'd rather talk about my new film.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Cos you are still acting. I want that to come across for the viewers.
0:14:02 > 0:14:04- I want them to know.- Yeah, I've done a lot of things.
0:14:04 > 0:14:06I've done some brand-new sort of...
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Always lovely to catch up with Steve Coogan.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Michael Buble has a new record and it's about to come out.
0:14:10 > 0:14:12It's called Christmas Is A Special Time For Me
0:14:12 > 0:14:14And It's A Special Time For You.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16He's going to sing a track from it now,
0:14:16 > 0:14:19called Holly Leaves And Christmas Trees. Michael Buble.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22Steve, please, for fuck's sake, don't talk over me.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24Is that all right, Steve?
0:14:24 > 0:14:27I'm sorry I didn't get to mention the fitness video too, you know.
0:14:27 > 0:14:31They're pretty tight these days with that sort of thing.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37HE SPEAKS ITALIAN
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Right, we're going on with our sea bass.
0:14:40 > 0:14:42It's our catch of the day,
0:14:42 > 0:14:46with zucchini flowers and salad of peas and peach.
0:14:46 > 0:14:48- Grazie mille.- Grazie mille.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50- Que belle res... He's gone.- Grazie.
0:14:50 > 0:14:54He's gone. I was going to say, "Que belle restaurante, complimenti."
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Too late.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Que belle restaurante, complimenti.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08Do you like the zucchini flowers?
0:15:08 > 0:15:10- Yes.- Oh, they're great.- Lovely.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15Is my hair thinning or is that the beginnings...?
0:15:15 > 0:15:16And just tell me the truth.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20Can I just say, there's no need for you to lean forward. Yes, it's starting to go.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24I've not said anything cos I know how insecure you are.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26And it's not just to wind me up?
0:15:26 > 0:15:27No, no, it's beginning to go.
0:15:27 > 0:15:30- Really?- How far it'll go? I don't know.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- I mean, all men naturally do that, don't they?- Yeah.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36You've got to ask yourself a question now.
0:15:36 > 0:15:41Am I going to sit by idly while Rome burns, fiddling,
0:15:41 > 0:15:46or am I going to find a fire hydrant and get to the source of the blaze?
0:15:49 > 0:15:51- For you?- Oh, buono. - And all food good?
0:15:51 > 0:15:53- Buono, grazie.- Thank you very much. - Grazie.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56- Yeah, what is bene?- "Bene" is I'm good, "buono" is it was good.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58- What, "buono"?- Buono or The Edge, either.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Buono, grazie, grazie mille.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02- Or The Edge, The Edge. - Maybe I can serve you some coffee?
0:16:02 > 0:16:04- Si, grazie, grazie.- Can I serve you on the table
0:16:04 > 0:16:06or like to move on the terrace probably?
0:16:06 > 0:16:08- Ah, sounds lovely. Shall we move to the terrace?- Yeah.
0:16:08 > 0:16:09- Great.- Grazie.- This way.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Oh, that's lovely coffee, that.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23- You know what that's meant to be? - What?
0:16:23 > 0:16:24I don't know. It looks nice.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26I think it looks like it's got a vanilla slice, don't it?
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Mini one.
0:16:28 > 0:16:31ROB SQUEALS WITH DELIGHT
0:16:31 > 0:16:33- That's fantastic!- That is fantastic! - That's incredible.
0:16:33 > 0:16:36Why did they give us three? They want us to have a fight.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39And we welcome back our returning champion from Pedantry,
0:16:39 > 0:16:41in the north of England, it's young Steve Coogan.
0:16:41 > 0:16:44- Steve, welcome back to the show. - Yeah, yeah. Go on.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Here's the question. What is today's bill?
0:16:46 > 0:16:51Is it A, 177 Euro?
0:16:51 > 0:16:55Is it B, 183 Euro?
0:16:55 > 0:16:59Or is it C, 160 Euro?
0:16:59 > 0:17:01The most expensive one, 183.
0:17:01 > 0:17:04I'm sorry, you're wrong. It was the most reasonable one, 177 euro.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07Well, you're going home, but give our love to everybody in Pedantry.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Young Steve Coogan, everybody. Just wave.
0:17:10 > 0:17:11OK. Give my love to everyone
0:17:11 > 0:17:15in the nonspecific area of Ireland that you're from.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18HE IMITATES A RADIO HOST: Time now for some music.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20We're going to listen now to Alanis Morissette.
0:17:20 > 0:17:24Port Master coming up in a moment. And Lynn with the travel,
0:17:24 > 0:17:28all that still to come, 88 and 91 FM.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32MUSIC: "Your House" by Alanis Morissette
0:17:32 > 0:17:38# I opened your door without ringing your bell. #
0:17:38 > 0:17:39Very polite.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42# Walked down the hall
0:17:42 > 0:17:44# Into your room. #
0:17:44 > 0:17:46What mine?
0:17:46 > 0:17:50# Where I could smell you and I... #
0:17:50 > 0:17:52Bit loud.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54# ..shouldn't be here... #
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Well, that's true.
0:17:56 > 0:17:58# ..without permission
0:17:58 > 0:18:00# Shouldn't be here.
0:18:02 > 0:18:05# Would you forgive me, love
0:18:05 > 0:18:07# If I danced in your shower? #
0:18:07 > 0:18:08Weird.
0:18:08 > 0:18:12# Would you forgive me, love... #
0:18:12 > 0:18:15Why are you round at my house rooting through stuff?
0:18:15 > 0:18:18# Would you forgive me, love
0:18:18 > 0:18:23# If I stay all afternoon? #
0:18:23 > 0:18:27Oh, do you basically want to borrow my flat? Is that what you're saying?
0:18:27 > 0:18:31- Hello.- I am Lorenzo.- Nice to meet you.- Welcome to Ravello.- Buongiorno.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34Hi, Mr Coogan. We walk to Villa Cimbrone.
0:18:34 > 0:18:35- Walk?- Walk?- Yeah.
0:18:35 > 0:18:39- How far is it?- Five minutes. - Five minutes, OK.- Great.
0:18:39 > 0:18:41Should have really asked him for his ID.
0:18:41 > 0:18:43I mean, we're trusting him, basically,
0:18:43 > 0:18:45on the strength of a polo shirt with a logo on it.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48Seemed very nice though.
0:18:48 > 0:18:51I think steps are better than a slope.
0:18:51 > 0:18:54A slope, I think, is better for your leg muscles.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58I'll try the slope.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01See? It's nice, isn't it?
0:19:01 > 0:19:03It's smooth. It's just different.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09It's delightful.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11This is the Camelia suite.
0:19:11 > 0:19:12Right, OK.
0:19:14 > 0:19:15Prego.
0:19:16 > 0:19:17Oh, wow!
0:19:19 > 0:19:21I'll have this one.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23This is a very nice room.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25- Please, have a look outside as well. - Oh, boy.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29Prego. This is the Greta Garbo suite.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32- Greta Garbo? - Yeah, she also stayed here.
0:19:32 > 0:19:33Wow.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38Here is the view.
0:19:39 > 0:19:41There you go. Check it out.
0:19:43 > 0:19:45Look at my view.
0:19:45 > 0:19:46It's big.
0:19:47 > 0:19:48I like it.
0:19:49 > 0:19:50I can see the sea.
0:19:51 > 0:19:52Oh, yeah.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56I'm relaxing.
0:19:56 > 0:19:58I'm relaxing in Italy.
0:19:59 > 0:20:02Well, you know what Byron said...
0:20:03 > 0:20:05..about Don Juan?
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Could anyone have written it who has not lived?
0:20:08 > 0:20:10'Hi, Rob?'
0:20:10 > 0:20:11It's Donna.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13I've got some good news.
0:20:13 > 0:20:14You've got the part.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Seriously?
0:20:16 > 0:20:20Yeah, seriously. They loved you. They loved your audition.
0:20:22 > 0:20:24Right. Wow.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28They want you in LA week after next for a costume fitting.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30And how long is the shoot?
0:20:30 > 0:20:32- Eight weeks.- Eight weeks?
0:20:32 > 0:20:35'I know! It's great news, isn't it?'
0:20:35 > 0:20:37God, right. Um...
0:20:37 > 0:20:41The film starts filming in three weeks.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44I'm in the Greta Garbo room.
0:20:44 > 0:20:46- Are you?- Yes.- Really?- Yeah.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50Oh, wow!
0:20:50 > 0:20:53- Look at that.- This is called the Terrace of Infinity.
0:20:53 > 0:20:58John Huston filmed a scene here for Beat The Devil with Humphrey Bogart.
0:20:58 > 0:21:01They all stayed here - Bogart, Huston and Gina Lollobrigida.
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Wow.
0:21:03 > 0:21:07- Gosh.- Incredible.- And now, Rob Brydon and Steve Coogan.
0:21:07 > 0:21:08- Yeah, right. Yeah, sure.- Yah.
0:21:08 > 0:21:13- Well, thank you very much.- Thank you to you, enjoy your evening. - Thank you.- Thank you. Bye.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16- Whoa, God.- Wow.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21- It'd be great to go back in time to the 1950s.- Oh, God!
0:21:21 > 0:21:251958. Go back in time and just come up here with Gina Lollobrigida...
0:21:25 > 0:21:27just...snog her.
0:21:30 > 0:21:31This is as good as it gets.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40It's a lovely little, erm...
0:21:40 > 0:21:42Oh! Nice?
0:21:42 > 0:21:45- You know what that is?- Very nice. - You know what it is?- Sweet.
0:21:45 > 0:21:47It's a kumquat.
0:21:49 > 0:21:52Come, come, Mr Bond, you derive just as much pleasure from saying...
0:21:52 > 0:21:55- kumquat as I do. - Kumquat as I do.
0:21:55 > 0:21:59Kum...quat, it's time for us to go.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01Quat!
0:22:01 > 0:22:05- Quat, come!- Quat, come! Kumquat.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08One of the most erotic experiences in my life was seeing a quat
0:22:08 > 0:22:10- come right in front of my eyes. - Oh, please.
0:22:10 > 0:22:12God, you've not lived
0:22:12 > 0:22:14till you've seen a quat come right in front of you
0:22:14 > 0:22:16in a bar in Vietnam.
0:22:17 > 0:22:21Mmm! My God, when that quat came...
0:22:21 > 0:22:22Ah...
0:22:23 > 0:22:24Grazie.
0:22:28 > 0:22:32Bogart, when he made Beat The Devil, you won't know this,
0:22:32 > 0:22:34had an accident during the filming.
0:22:34 > 0:22:38- Did you know this? - This is news to me.
0:22:38 > 0:22:39Why the hell didn't you tell me?
0:22:39 > 0:22:42I came as quick as I could. Humphrey Bogart's had an accident.
0:22:42 > 0:22:44No, he had a car crash and he knocked some teeth out.
0:22:44 > 0:22:48HE IMITATES BOGART: So when he was talking, couldn't actually hear what I was saying.
0:22:48 > 0:22:52- Of all the bars in all the towns, you had to come into mine. - Of all the bars...
0:22:52 > 0:22:55- Kinda relaxed kinda guy.- Just relax. You believe he's living it.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57You don't believe he's acting.
0:22:57 > 0:23:00I imagine his arms are always at his side. Oh, hey.
0:23:00 > 0:23:03He acts as though he knows something nobody else knows, yeah?
0:23:03 > 0:23:05- Yeah. Oh, yes.- You know that? - Yeah, no, yeah.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08That's what I do. No, sorry, I do the opposite.
0:23:08 > 0:23:12- I act like everybody else knows something I don't know.- Right.
0:23:12 > 0:23:13That's me.
0:23:13 > 0:23:16- Now, Humphrey Bogart...- Keep track.
0:23:16 > 0:23:17..yeah, he couldn't talk.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21HE TALKS AS IF HAS NO TEETH
0:23:21 > 0:23:24- Now, nowadays, you get an Oscar for that.- Absolutely, yeah.
0:23:24 > 0:23:26OK, but in those days, no. So, what do they do?
0:23:26 > 0:23:30OK, I'll tell you. No, I'll tell you. They had to dub him. Who dubbed him?
0:23:30 > 0:23:35Steve Coogan, two points, who dubbed Humphrey Bogart in Beat The Devil?
0:23:35 > 0:23:36George Raft.
0:23:36 > 0:23:37Wrong.
0:23:37 > 0:23:38Peter Sellers.
0:23:38 > 0:23:39- Oh, really?- Oh, yeah.
0:23:39 > 0:23:42Yeah, I suppose it makes sense, doesn't it? I mean...
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Hopkins dubbing Olivier in Spartacus
0:23:44 > 0:23:47and it makes sense that he would have used an impersonator.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50Imagine Truman Capote sitting here, can't you?
0:23:50 > 0:23:51Can you do him?
0:23:51 > 0:23:54I could have a stab at Philip Seymour Hoffman
0:23:54 > 0:23:57or Toby Jones doing it, but I couldn't really, you know.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00No, not really. I think I either do it well or don't bother.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02- Better not to try then. - Yeah, exactly.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04Gore Vidal said about Truman Capote that,
0:24:04 > 0:24:07"He turned lying into an art form...
0:24:07 > 0:24:09"a minor art form."
0:24:09 > 0:24:13HE IMITATES GORE VIDAL: Yes, I also said of Truman
0:24:13 > 0:24:18that dying for him was a great career move.
0:24:18 > 0:24:19Oh!
0:24:21 > 0:24:24But did he purse his lips at the end and go like that?
0:24:24 > 0:24:27Well, the thing with Gore Vidal.
0:24:27 > 0:24:31Gore spoke as though he had worked out the secret of life
0:24:31 > 0:24:33and he also said,
0:24:33 > 0:24:39"It is not enough for me to succeed, my friends must fail."
0:24:39 > 0:24:42- You know Byron was a bit like Gore Vidal because...- How so?
0:24:42 > 0:24:45..because they were both in exile in Italy.
0:24:45 > 0:24:46True.
0:24:46 > 0:24:51Self-imposed exile, cultural exile, because the way they thought
0:24:51 > 0:24:52and lived was totally at odds
0:24:52 > 0:24:55with the zeitgeist of their respective countries.
0:24:55 > 0:24:56You know what he said?
0:24:56 > 0:24:58When Byron came to Italy, you know what he said?
0:24:58 > 0:25:00He said, "I will not give way to all the Cant of Christendom."
0:25:00 > 0:25:04He said, "I have been cloyed with applause and sickened with abuse."
0:25:04 > 0:25:08Well, one of those must ring bells with present company.
0:25:10 > 0:25:11I refer to the abuse.
0:25:11 > 0:25:14- Yeah, I know, but I've been cloyed with applause.- So have I.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18Yeah, well, I've been cloyed more than I've been abused.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20And so have I.
0:25:20 > 0:25:21Well, yeah, well, there you go.
0:25:21 > 0:25:23All right. So, we're both happy.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25STEVE EXHALES LOUDLY
0:25:25 > 0:25:27Mind you, if you've got to be exiled anywhere,
0:25:27 > 0:25:30I'd like to be exiled here.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32I could see out my days here quite happily.
0:25:33 > 0:25:36Yeah, well, you'd be able to finally, you know,
0:25:36 > 0:25:38come out.
0:25:38 > 0:25:40What a relief that would be.
0:25:40 > 0:25:42Oh, it'd be such a weight off your shoulders.
0:25:42 > 0:25:44Yeah, yeah. Finally say to people...
0:25:45 > 0:25:50"..happily living with Steve in our villa overlooking the coast.
0:25:50 > 0:25:52"Finally, we can be ourselves."
0:25:56 > 0:25:57Can you wiggle both eyebrows?
0:25:57 > 0:26:00- Of course I can, elementary.- Go on.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Yeah, he looked at me like I couldn't do it. You looked me...
0:26:02 > 0:26:05Course I can do the same. Just no great achievement.
0:26:05 > 0:26:09- You either can or you can't.- Can you wiggle your ears independently?
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Let's see what you can do first and I'll answer.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14Tonight, on the South Bank Show, Steve Coogan
0:26:14 > 0:26:17and his new art installation, Ears On The Move.
0:26:17 > 0:26:19We ask him why and how.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21PHONE RINGS
0:26:28 > 0:26:32- 'Hello?'- Buonasera, how are you?
0:26:32 > 0:26:34'Hi, how's it going?'
0:26:34 > 0:26:37It's good. We are in such a beautiful place.
0:26:38 > 0:26:39'Lucky you, it's horrible here.'
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Is it? Oh, sorry.
0:26:41 > 0:26:44'I've just got so much work to do. It's chaos.'
0:26:44 > 0:26:47OK, well, let me lift your spirits with a little news bulletin.
0:26:47 > 0:26:50IMITATES DUSTIN HOFFMAN: Courtesy of our friend, Dustin,
0:26:50 > 0:26:52I have some terrific news to tell you, and the news is that...
0:26:52 > 0:26:55'Rob, sorry, I'm just in the middle of something.
0:26:55 > 0:26:57'Can Dustin wait? I'll see you on Monday, OK?'
0:26:57 > 0:26:58A bit of news.
0:26:58 > 0:27:00Hey, I've been trying to Skype you.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02'Have you? Sorry.'
0:27:02 > 0:27:06Yeah. What's going on? What are you up to?
0:27:06 > 0:27:08'Not much. Nothing really. There's nothing to do.'
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Well, you must be doing something.
0:27:10 > 0:27:12- All right, love, bye-bye. - 'Bye. Bye-bye.'
0:27:12 > 0:27:15Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
0:27:19 > 0:27:23STILL AS HOFFMAN: Well, that's a disappointment. That really is.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26I was looking forward to telling you my news.
0:27:26 > 0:27:28That's terrific news.
0:27:28 > 0:27:30Wait till you hear this.
0:27:30 > 0:27:33I'm going to be in a movie. That's right.
0:27:33 > 0:27:37I'm going to be in an actual American movie.
0:27:37 > 0:27:38I'm going to LA.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40I'm going to Hollywood.
0:27:40 > 0:27:44I'll be out there, you'll be in London with Chloe.
0:27:44 > 0:27:45Right.
0:27:48 > 0:27:49Yeah.
0:27:49 > 0:27:52- Let me talk to Mum, all right? - 'Yeah.'
0:27:52 > 0:27:54I'll give her a call now
0:27:54 > 0:27:56and then I'll call you straight back.
0:27:56 > 0:27:57'OK, great.'
0:27:57 > 0:27:59All right, we'll figure something out.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01All right, love you.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04- 'I love you, too.'- Bye. bye.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06AS HOFFMAN: I got some other news too.
0:28:06 > 0:28:10I had a pretty exciting random sexual encounter with a pirate.
0:28:10 > 0:28:13Yes, I did, yeah.
0:28:13 > 0:28:14Oh, yeah.
0:28:15 > 0:28:18Turns out I'm quite something.
0:28:22 > 0:28:23Yeah.