0:00:04 > 0:00:08# You'd better toss a coin
0:00:08 > 0:00:10# Into the old wishing well
0:00:10 > 0:00:13# You'd better roll the dice
0:00:13 > 0:00:16# Cos after all, you can never tell
0:00:16 > 0:00:20# This could be your lucky day (Lucky day)
0:00:20 > 0:00:22# But if you don't play the game
0:00:22 > 0:00:25# You'll never know
0:00:25 > 0:00:28# You'll never know. #
0:00:31 > 0:00:35- Rory, would you come on? - Ma, I have it here for you, OK?
0:00:35 > 0:00:38- Great stuff. Thanks, Ciara. Thanks, love.- Do you have my nice bag?
0:00:38 > 0:00:41- Rory, hurry up, will you? - Are yous waiting?- Yes!
0:00:41 > 0:00:45- I have something for you.- Tony, will you put the dog in the kitchen.
0:00:45 > 0:00:47And there we go.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50HE LAUGHS
0:00:50 > 0:00:53THEY BOTH LAUGH
0:00:53 > 0:00:56It's perfect!
0:00:56 > 0:00:58Now this means you're the king of the dinner.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01It's a family tradition. Different one of us every time.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03And this time, it's you!
0:01:03 > 0:01:07- Oh, right. For Jaysus sake! Rory? - I'm coming!
0:01:07 > 0:01:10- Useless, would you get in the kitchen.- Oh, lovely, Graham.
0:01:10 > 0:01:14- Did you bring a hat for all of us? - What? Oh, eh, no.
0:01:14 > 0:01:16Oh, well as long as you brought one for yourself.
0:01:16 > 0:01:21- Where are yous off to, Carmel? - The Thai Bride, Martin.- Oh, lovely.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24- Yeah.- Oh, eh, where's Martin?
0:01:24 > 0:01:27Oh, he's in the wall there, looking for the source of that smell.
0:01:27 > 0:01:31- Are you in the whole wall, Martin?- I think so.
0:01:31 > 0:01:36- Oh, that smell is driving me mad. - I'm used to it.- I like it.
0:01:36 > 0:01:41- Are you off your rocker?- What? - You're not going to make a show of us in that get-up.
0:01:41 > 0:01:44You look like you're going to steal a horse and swap it for heroin.
0:01:44 > 0:01:49- Get back up those stairs, put something decent on.- Oh!- Jesus!
0:01:49 > 0:01:53- It's like this every time we go out. - What's the occasion?- Hm?
0:01:53 > 0:01:56Why are we going out for dinner?
0:01:56 > 0:01:59I can't tell you, it's actually too stupid.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03- Any luck yet, Martin?- The only thing I can say for sure, Carmel,
0:02:03 > 0:02:07is that it's not - NOT coming from inside the wall.
0:02:08 > 0:02:12OK, well, that's...something, I suppose.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15I'm surprised that anyone can actually fit in those of, eh, walls.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17It's a bit tight.
0:02:17 > 0:02:22And you know me, Tony, I have terrible claustrophobia.
0:02:22 > 0:02:26Oh, oh, oh...
0:02:27 > 0:02:32Well, it's not as bad as it could be, because there's no insulation.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Don't believe in insulation, Martin, it's a scam,
0:02:35 > 0:02:38made up by the government to steal money off the working man.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40Just like VAT and stamps.
0:02:40 > 0:02:43Here, you're going to love this place, Graham.
0:02:43 > 0:02:46- Do you know that country Thailand? - Yeah...
0:02:46 > 0:02:49- The food's from there!- Right.
0:02:49 > 0:02:51And is it really called The Thai Bride?
0:02:51 > 0:02:55Uh, it's the most authentic Thai food I think I have ever had.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58But they'll do you a burger if you want one.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01- And what's the occasion? - Did Ciara not tell you?- No.
0:03:01 > 0:03:0515 years ago myself and Carmel were just walking past The Thai Bride...
0:03:05 > 0:03:09- Just walking past!- And we thought, "Let's just go in and have dinner."
0:03:09 > 0:03:12- Just like that!- Just like that!
0:03:12 > 0:03:15We didn't even plan it, we just did it, totally spontaneous.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18So now, every year, we go back to The Thai Bride on the same day
0:03:18 > 0:03:20and have dinner. It's a sort of a...
0:03:20 > 0:03:22BOTH: ..celebration of spontaneity.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26Yeah, it's like a celebration of that mad spirit us Walshes have.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30- And do yous ever go anywhere else? - Oh, God, no.
0:03:30 > 0:03:32It has to be The Thai Bride.
0:03:32 > 0:03:38Oh, Graham, wait till you meet Lee, he's our waiter, oh, he is such fun.
0:03:38 > 0:03:43He is such jizzy craic, he is just jizz personified now.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Yeah, and his name isn't even Lee.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Oh, God, no, you'd be all day trying to say his real name.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52Oh, Graham, wait till you meet him, he'll have you in stitches.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55- He does an impersonation of the chef, sort of like...- Mam!
0:03:55 > 0:03:58I swear to God... do not finish that impression.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00You're right, I wouldn't do it justice.
0:04:00 > 0:04:03You'll have to see it for yourself.
0:04:03 > 0:04:07- What is the hat for? - I'm...king of the dinner.
0:04:07 > 0:04:10- You're wha?!- Now, remember, this meal is on me...
0:04:10 > 0:04:13BOTH: ..your money's no good tonight.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16- Eight. That's eight times.- He did two when you were upstairs.- Ten!
0:04:16 > 0:04:21- No, no, my treat, don't mind. - This is for your benefit.
0:04:21 > 0:04:23Oh, it's very kind of you, Mr Walsh, thank you very much.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26Have a good long look at that menu, Graham,
0:04:26 > 0:04:28and decide what you want before we get there.
0:04:28 > 0:04:30I know exactly what I'm getting.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32"Carmel fried rice" Lee calls it, he says...
0:04:32 > 0:04:36- MA!- She's right, I wouldn't do it any justice.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38Choose whatever you like.
0:04:38 > 0:04:43Although I will say, the early bird half-price special is...mwah!
0:04:43 > 0:04:46- There we go.- No, no, they save all the best stuff for the early birds.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50But order whatever you want, it's on me, your money's no good tonight.
0:04:50 > 0:04:51CARMEL: 11!
0:04:52 > 0:04:54We want to get a wriggle on if
0:04:54 > 0:04:57we're going to make this early bird everyone's so keen on.
0:04:57 > 0:04:58Rory, will you hurry up!
0:04:58 > 0:05:03- Ah, for Jesus' sake, Rory! - What in God's name is that?- What?
0:05:03 > 0:05:05What are you wearing?
0:05:05 > 0:05:09- Is it no good?- No, it's no good.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11- Where did you get it?- I found it.
0:05:11 > 0:05:15You found it? You found a suit?
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Ah, Rory, don't be wearing suits you found.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Back upstairs, Boardwalk Empire, get it off you.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21HE SIGHS
0:05:36 > 0:05:40- Tony.- Huh?- Don't be at it. - I'm not "at it."
0:05:40 > 0:05:43Anything in the post this morning, or...?
0:05:43 > 0:05:46- Nothing yet, no.- Mm? No news is good news.
0:05:47 > 0:05:51Tony had a biopsy done on his...well, you know.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53The little fella that took up residence
0:05:53 > 0:05:55around the...Rose of Tralee.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58His anal companion, shall we say.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00I got a bit worried there when it changed colour,
0:06:00 > 0:06:02what colour was it when you saw it, Graham?
0:06:02 > 0:06:04I dunno, erm...
0:06:05 > 0:06:11- ..greyish, I suppose.- Grey? Wasn't grey, no, no, no, it was red.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14In fact, I found the exact shade of red it was,
0:06:14 > 0:06:16I have it here on a Dulux chart.
0:06:16 > 0:06:18Eh, can we stop talking about this please?
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Carmen Miranda.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26- Oh.- But then it went sort of a...Summer Blush.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28It wasn't Summer Blush.
0:06:28 > 0:06:31- It was African Adventure if it was anything.- How do you know?
0:06:31 > 0:06:36- I had a look.- How?- How'd you think? With a mirror.- Which mirror?
0:06:36 > 0:06:39The white one beside the bed.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41My mother gave me that mirror, Tony.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44I like to pretend that she's looking at me through it.
0:06:44 > 0:06:46Oh, my God!
0:07:01 > 0:07:03HE LAUGHS
0:07:05 > 0:07:07Oh, I'll have to boil it now or something.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11- Ah, you won't, I only used it to look.- Oh, me poor mother.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14Expecting to see me and instead getting an African Adventure.
0:07:16 > 0:07:18- What are you doing? - Putting on the telly.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22- Don't be putting on the telly! - Why not?- Cos we're going out.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25- But we're not, we're just sitting here.- That's a staying in thing.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28You can't be doing a staying in thing when we're going out.
0:07:28 > 0:07:30- But we're not going out.- We are, we just...
0:07:32 > 0:07:34What if one of the neighbours sees us?
0:07:34 > 0:07:37They'll think we get dressed up to watch the television.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39We'll be the talk of the close.
0:07:39 > 0:07:43No, we're not doing anything, we're sitting here and waiting.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46Until we can go out and enjoy our celebration of spontaneity.
0:07:50 > 0:07:54Rory, are you nearly ready? Ah, Rory!
0:07:56 > 0:07:59- Wha?- Would you come on and get dressed? We're waiting for you.
0:07:59 > 0:08:00Oh, yeah, OK.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04Oh, God, me poor mother.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07You don't want that as part of your eternal reward, do you?
0:08:07 > 0:08:08No, no, you don't.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13What do you think happens to us when we die, Graham?
0:08:13 > 0:08:17Well, actually, Mrs Walsh, I don't think anything happens.
0:08:17 > 0:08:18What'd you mean?
0:08:20 > 0:08:25- I think it just...stops. - It just stops?- Yeah.
0:08:25 > 0:08:28What, you die and that's it?
0:08:29 > 0:08:33- Yeah.- Well, that's something to look forward to - I don't think.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Ma thinks when you die that's when it all starts happening,
0:08:36 > 0:08:40- don't you, Ma?- Too right I do, I can't wait to die!
0:08:40 > 0:08:44- Imagine not looking forward to dying. I feel sorry for you.- Ma!
0:08:44 > 0:08:48- You don't agree with him, do you?- No, no, I'm with you.
0:08:48 > 0:08:49Looking forward to it.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52And don't go sharing any of your mad opinions with Rory.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01HE BREATHES HEAVILY
0:09:22 > 0:09:25Aww. Lovebirds.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30A pair of lovely lovebirds.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34Checking each other for...
0:09:34 > 0:09:36parasites.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42- That's lovely, Mam, thanks. - It was on David Attenborough.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44One bird sits there proud as you like
0:09:44 > 0:09:47while the other digs at it with its beak.
0:09:47 > 0:09:49Removing fleas and microscopic ticks.
0:09:51 > 0:09:58So very loving, but at the same time, clever. Because, you know...
0:09:58 > 0:09:59that's dinner, sorted.
0:10:02 > 0:10:06When your father had hair I used to find all sorts of things in there.
0:10:06 > 0:10:08I wouldn't eat any of it though.
0:10:10 > 0:10:15Grooming, that's what they call it. I was grooming him.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18And now, Graham is grooming you.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Is he not down yet?
0:10:25 > 0:10:26We might not get our table.
0:10:26 > 0:10:30Get the same table every year - down the back, handiest for the toilets.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33Look, everyone, look what I found in me suit.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36- Come on, we can look at it at dinner.- No, Da, look, look!
0:10:38 > 0:10:39HE CHUCKLES
0:10:41 > 0:10:42What the...?
0:10:45 > 0:10:49- Heh. Who's your friend? - I dunno, Ma, I found it in me suit.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51What do you think it is?
0:10:52 > 0:10:57- It's a cat and a man...sitting with a big rabbit.- Why though?
0:10:58 > 0:11:02- Eh...- Why is there a cat and a man and a big rabbit?
0:11:02 > 0:11:04- I don't get it.- Let me see it again.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09What's going on? The cat's sitting like he's a person, I mean...
0:11:09 > 0:11:13- why? I don't get it.- Why don't you phone your friend and ask him?
0:11:13 > 0:11:15I don't know him, Ma!
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Well, why'd you have a photo of a man you don't know?
0:11:17 > 0:11:19I think that's madder than the photo itself.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Graham, you'll know, what does it mean?
0:11:22 > 0:11:25Oh, ahem, right...
0:11:27 > 0:11:30I think this must be the Easter Bunny.
0:11:30 > 0:11:33Maybe the person who owned your suit before you was American?
0:11:34 > 0:11:37They might visit the Easter Bunny in America.
0:11:39 > 0:11:40Around Easter time.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43And so, what, do they tell the Bunny what Easter egg
0:11:43 > 0:11:46they want each year, is that it?
0:11:46 > 0:11:48- I dunno.- It's a cat though.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51What, do cats get Easter eggs in America?
0:11:51 > 0:11:54- I'm not sure.- See, he doesn't have all the answers.
0:11:54 > 0:11:57All right, we can figure it out over dinner, let's go.
0:12:01 > 0:12:03Martin, will you turn the lights off when you're finished?
0:12:03 > 0:12:05- MUFFLED:- All right, Tony!
0:12:11 > 0:12:15- What, Carmel, what?- Just one second. - What?- It's Mrs Lydon,
0:12:15 > 0:12:18- she's coming out of her house, just let her leave first.- Why?
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Ssh! I told her I'd go to Weight Watchers with her,
0:12:21 > 0:12:24I don't want to go. I don't need Weight Watchers,
0:12:24 > 0:12:26she's the one who sat on her cat and nearly killed it.
0:12:28 > 0:12:31She...she's coming over here. Quick, hit the lights!
0:12:31 > 0:12:33Graham, hit the friggin' lights!
0:12:33 > 0:12:35Hide!
0:12:36 > 0:12:38- TONY:- (Ssh, down!)
0:12:39 > 0:12:42Ssh! For the love of God, ssh, quiet!
0:12:43 > 0:12:44Ssh!
0:12:44 > 0:12:46KNOCK ON DOOR Please, no-one move.
0:12:48 > 0:12:50- CIARA:- I bet you anything we don't get out of here tonight.
0:12:50 > 0:12:51GRAHAM LAUGHS
0:12:54 > 0:12:56- Do you realise something?- What?
0:12:58 > 0:13:03- We've never had an argument.- Hmm. Yeah, suppose not.
0:13:04 > 0:13:06That's cos you're perfect.
0:13:07 > 0:13:11- No, I'm not.- You are. You're a perfect girl.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15There must be one thing wrong with me.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20No, really, there isn't.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25MRS LYDON: Carmel? Hello, Carmel? Carmel, are you in?
0:13:25 > 0:13:27- HE SIGHS - Sick of hiding from this woman.
0:13:32 > 0:13:34You all right?
0:13:34 > 0:13:38- Huh, what?- God, Rory, you're white as a sheet.
0:13:43 > 0:13:46Go on, what's the one thing you'd say
0:13:46 > 0:13:48if you had to say something that was wrong with me?
0:13:52 > 0:13:54I...wouldn't say anything.
0:13:56 > 0:13:58OK, eh...
0:14:00 > 0:14:05OK, well, what if a Nazi had a gun to your head?
0:14:05 > 0:14:08- No, to- my- head, and he said he'd kill me
0:14:08 > 0:14:11if you didn't say one thing that was wrong with me?
0:14:14 > 0:14:17I...still wouldn't say anything.
0:14:17 > 0:14:19But he's got a gun, Graham, he's going to kill me.
0:14:19 > 0:14:20(Has she gone?)
0:14:20 > 0:14:23Maybe he's one of those nice Nazis
0:14:23 > 0:14:26who didn't want to join in with everything.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31No, he wants to join in, Graham.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Oh, God, I'm...I'm getting kind of scared, Graham.
0:14:34 > 0:14:39He's really scary and I can feel the gun against my head, Graham!
0:14:39 > 0:14:42OK, OK! All right, all right, OK!
0:14:45 > 0:14:47M-maybe...
0:14:47 > 0:14:49sometimes...
0:14:49 > 0:14:52you can be a little...
0:14:52 > 0:14:54a little, mind...
0:14:54 > 0:14:56He's going to pull the trigger, Graham!
0:14:56 > 0:15:01...a little, tiny, small bit...
0:15:01 > 0:15:02lazy.
0:15:06 > 0:15:08C-CCiara?
0:15:10 > 0:15:11C-Ciara?
0:15:12 > 0:15:14There, she's gone back inside.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16Quick, let's go before she comes back with a warrant!
0:15:18 > 0:15:19Where is she off to?
0:15:19 > 0:15:22FOOTSTEPS THUMP UPSTAIRS
0:15:22 > 0:15:23DOOR SLAMS UPSTAIRS
0:15:26 > 0:15:27KNOCKING
0:15:27 > 0:15:29Ciara?
0:15:29 > 0:15:31Please come out.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33We really have to go, OK?
0:15:33 > 0:15:35- Lazy!?- I didn't...
0:15:35 > 0:15:37- You called her lazy!- But she...
0:15:37 > 0:15:38And we were just about to go out!
0:15:38 > 0:15:41- There was a Nazi!- What?
0:15:41 > 0:15:42She said a Nazi would kill her
0:15:42 > 0:15:45unless I told her what was wrong with her.
0:15:45 > 0:15:48Graham, Graham, Graham, that's the oldest trick in the book.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52She was bluffing! Any situation like that, you let the Nazi take her out!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55What did you say to her?
0:15:55 > 0:15:56He called her lazy.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Are you a mentalist?
0:15:58 > 0:16:01We are this close to leaving and you start flinging insults around!
0:16:01 > 0:16:03Just...stay here!
0:16:03 > 0:16:04- Feckin' nut job!- Oh!
0:16:14 > 0:16:16You think you have life figured out,
0:16:16 > 0:16:19and then something like this happens.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22What?
0:16:22 > 0:16:24- What- is- this?!
0:16:24 > 0:16:25What is he doing?
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Taking a cat to see the Easter Bunny?
0:16:28 > 0:16:30It doesn't make any sense!
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Nothing makes any sense!!
0:16:34 > 0:16:38I'm scared of opening it. I'm scared of not opening it.
0:16:38 > 0:16:41Look, I know I don't usually turn to you for advice,
0:16:41 > 0:16:44but, well, obviously I'm desperate.
0:16:45 > 0:16:49- MARTIN:- 'Well, unfortunately, Tony, I can't help.
0:16:49 > 0:16:53'This is something you're going to have to sort out for yourself.
0:16:53 > 0:16:57'Oh! There's a rat-like thing in here, Tony.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59'I wonder if that's where the smell is coming from.
0:16:59 > 0:17:01'Oh, no, it's alive!
0:17:01 > 0:17:03'It's alive, it's coming towards me, Tony!'
0:17:03 > 0:17:06- Are you all right, Martin? - 'Argh, no!
0:17:06 > 0:17:09'Argh! Back! Go away! Go away!!
0:17:09 > 0:17:14REGULAR THUD, MARTIN GRUNTS
0:17:24 > 0:17:27Oh, Rory, put that Easter Bunny baldy fella cat man
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- down for a second, I want to talk to you about something.- Yeah?
0:17:32 > 0:17:33Listen...
0:17:33 > 0:17:35I'm not going to be around forever.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37- Yeah, we're going out.- No!
0:17:37 > 0:17:40- I'm- not going to be around for ever.
0:17:40 > 0:17:42- You're going out?- What? - Can I come?
0:17:42 > 0:17:45No! Would you stop looking at that thing!
0:17:45 > 0:17:47- Are you going to a film?- No.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Look, my point is,
0:17:49 > 0:17:52- I'm not going to be around - here- for ever.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55- Strollinstown?- What?- Are we moving?
0:17:55 > 0:17:59No! We're not moving! I'm talking about me.
0:17:59 > 0:18:02You're moving? Are you and Ma splitting up?
0:18:02 > 0:18:05- No!- Then why are you moving? - I'm not moving!
0:18:06 > 0:18:11Look, Rory, I'm talking about...
0:18:11 > 0:18:12(the inevitable.)
0:18:12 > 0:18:14The inevitable?
0:18:14 > 0:18:17Is that the name of the film? Are you going to a film?
0:18:17 > 0:18:18- No!- Can I come?
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Graham, I'm not going to be around forever.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25OK...
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Do you remember when your Ma died?
0:18:30 > 0:18:31Yes.
0:18:31 > 0:18:35Well, what kind of funeral did she have?
0:18:35 > 0:18:38Well, it was pretty traditional.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40She was cremated, though.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Incinerated, yeah.
0:18:43 > 0:18:44Well...
0:18:44 > 0:18:46cremated.
0:18:46 > 0:18:50When I die, I'd like the full taxi man procession,
0:18:50 > 0:18:53all the way down the bus lane to the church.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55But I wouldn't want the fuss.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57- Why bother?- What?
0:18:57 > 0:19:01What's the point in funerals? What's the point in anything?
0:19:03 > 0:19:06Right, crisis over, she's just sorting her make-up.
0:19:08 > 0:19:10What are you on about?
0:19:10 > 0:19:12What if there's no heaven?
0:19:13 > 0:19:16What if there's just...nothing?
0:19:16 > 0:19:19What if nothing means anything?
0:19:19 > 0:19:21I told you to stay away from him.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23I didn't say anything to him.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25Did you get changed again? What are you wearing?
0:19:25 > 0:19:28- You look like one of those emus. - Emos.
0:19:28 > 0:19:29Whatever. You look daft.
0:19:31 > 0:19:32Rory.
0:19:33 > 0:19:37Did you hear about this new film about constipation?
0:19:37 > 0:19:38No.
0:19:38 > 0:19:41That's because it hasn't come out yet!
0:19:43 > 0:19:48- Normally, Da, we would- never - stop laughing at that joke,
0:19:48 > 0:19:52because I think it's the funniest joke I've ever heard.
0:19:52 > 0:19:53But today...
0:19:55 > 0:19:58..I'm just...I'm just not in the mood.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04This is all his fault. Richard Dawkins here.
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Do you really not believe in heaven, Graham?
0:20:07 > 0:20:11- Oh, please, I...- Do you want to know what I think heaven's like?
0:20:11 > 0:20:15Driving down Route 66, man, old Chevy convertible.
0:20:15 > 0:20:17With Carmel in the back cooking a fry, he-he!
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Excuse me, Tony.
0:20:19 > 0:20:23I'm not spending eternity cooking you breakfast in a car.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25You can forget about that now.
0:20:26 > 0:20:28Hi, Ciara.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30Hello.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32Right! That's us, at last!
0:20:32 > 0:20:35And we'll just make the early bird if we leave right now. Rory!
0:20:35 > 0:20:37- Where's Rory? Rory! - 'I'm here!'
0:20:39 > 0:20:42- Where?- 'In the wall!'
0:20:42 > 0:20:44What are you doing in there?
0:20:44 > 0:20:45'Showing Martin the photo.'
0:20:45 > 0:20:48- MARTIN:- 'That's a gas picture altogether.'
0:20:48 > 0:20:49'What does it mean, though?'
0:20:49 > 0:20:52Rory Walsh, get out of that wall! We're going for dinner!
0:20:52 > 0:20:53'I'm not hungry.'
0:20:53 > 0:20:55You're what?!
0:20:55 > 0:20:57What did he say?
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Rory said he's not hungry.
0:21:00 > 0:21:01What?
0:21:01 > 0:21:03Rory said what?!
0:21:03 > 0:21:05Rory said he's not hungry!
0:21:10 > 0:21:14Kamir, listen, we're running a few minutes late, so, erm...
0:21:14 > 0:21:17Yeah. Well, we all know what we want, so can we order now?
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Brilliant!
0:21:19 > 0:21:21Can I have five early birds, please.
0:21:22 > 0:21:24What?!
0:21:24 > 0:21:27But we're ordering it now.
0:21:27 > 0:21:30I wouldn't have said anything if the Nazi hadn't been...
0:21:30 > 0:21:32He was going to kill you, Ciara!
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Yeah.
0:21:34 > 0:21:36I had to say something.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39I was just trying to stall for time.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41I didn't know what he was capable of.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42"Lazy," though.
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Why did you have to say "lazy"?
0:21:44 > 0:21:46I didn't know what I was saying!
0:21:46 > 0:21:48People aren't themselves under occupation!
0:21:48 > 0:21:52Oh, so you'd just do whatever the Nazis told you to do?
0:21:52 > 0:21:54No! No, I'd resist!
0:21:54 > 0:21:58I'd be with the resistance, but you have to choose your moments!
0:22:00 > 0:22:02I don't know, Graham.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Ciara, this is our lives.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06We can't play games with our lives.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08(These people are dangerous!)
0:22:11 > 0:22:13What people?
0:22:16 > 0:22:17Imaginary Nazis.
0:22:18 > 0:22:22No, no, no, no. No, no, no. We can't reschedule until tomorrow.
0:22:22 > 0:22:25Today is the day we have the celebration of spontaneity.
0:22:27 > 0:22:30The celebration of spontaneity.
0:22:32 > 0:22:34Well, is there anyone there who speaks English?
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Then put her on!
0:22:38 > 0:22:40- So now- I'm- a Nazi?
0:22:40 > 0:22:43Look how easily you went along with everything.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45Calling me lazy.
0:22:45 > 0:22:48That's exactly what happened with Poland.
0:22:48 > 0:22:53You can't compare me calling you lazy to the invasion of Poland!
0:22:53 > 0:22:56All it takes for evil men to succeed is for good men to do nothing.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00And you did nothing.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02Except call me lazy.
0:23:02 > 0:23:03I didn't think, I...
0:23:03 > 0:23:06I thought lazy would be better than,
0:23:06 > 0:23:07I don't know...rude.
0:23:07 > 0:23:10Rude?! You think I'm rude!
0:23:10 > 0:23:12I don't think you're rude, I think you are lovely.
0:23:12 > 0:23:13Where did "rude" come from?
0:23:13 > 0:23:17I don't know, Ciara, I'm just pulling these out of my bum.
0:23:17 > 0:23:19What's this light doing off?!
0:23:21 > 0:23:23CAT MEWLS
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Couldn't get the early bird.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29I don't think I'm in the mood now anyway.
0:23:29 > 0:23:33What's the point in being in the mood for things?
0:23:37 > 0:23:41- MARTIN:- 'I tell yous, I've been listening to yous all night
0:23:41 > 0:23:44'and the only thing I'd be scared of when I die
0:23:44 > 0:23:46'is to go to that place, limbo.
0:23:46 > 0:23:51'I mean, heaven would be great, obviously, I mean that's a given.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54'And even hell - well, you'd meet some interesting people.
0:23:54 > 0:23:56'But limbo...
0:23:56 > 0:23:58'Oh, God.
0:23:58 > 0:24:01'Waiting and waiting and waiting.
0:24:01 > 0:24:05'Not knowing if you're coming or going.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09'Endlessly hoping for some resolution
0:24:09 > 0:24:11'that might never, ever
0:24:11 > 0:24:13'ever...
0:24:13 > 0:24:14'ever come.'
0:24:17 > 0:24:19Do you know what I mean?
0:24:19 > 0:24:21I think we've some idea, Martin.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25Right.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27- What's that?- My results.
0:24:27 > 0:24:28When did they arrive?
0:24:28 > 0:24:30- A couple of days ago.- What?!
0:24:30 > 0:24:33Martin's right. Good news or bad, I'd rather know.
0:24:33 > 0:24:36And this is going to be good news, I can feel it.
0:24:36 > 0:24:38Yeah, but, even if it isn't, Tony, I mean...
0:24:38 > 0:24:40we'll get through it together.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41No! That's loser talk, Carmel.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44This is going to give me the all clear.
0:24:44 > 0:24:45What's it going to give me?
0:24:45 > 0:24:47- The all clear.- Ciara?
0:24:47 > 0:24:49It's going to say all clear, dad.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51- Lads?- All clear!
0:24:51 > 0:24:53It-it'll say all clear.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Right, here we go.
0:24:55 > 0:24:56- MARTIN:- 'It will be good news.'
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Right, er, yeah. Here we go.
0:25:14 > 0:25:15(Oh, Carmel.)
0:25:17 > 0:25:20- Oh, Jesus!- Oh, God!
0:25:20 > 0:25:21Oh, Jesus!
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Oh, Tony, Jesus, Tony!
0:25:24 > 0:25:25It's bad.
0:25:26 > 0:25:27I love you, Carmel.
0:25:27 > 0:25:30Oh, no, Tony. No!
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Ciara.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36Daddy's little girl.
0:25:36 > 0:25:38Stop it, Da. Stop.
0:25:40 > 0:25:43There's something I have been meaning to tell you for a long time.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Your hamster didn't run away.
0:25:49 > 0:25:52I brought him to work and I lost him!
0:25:54 > 0:25:55- And Rory.- What?
0:25:55 > 0:25:59We've had some craic over the years, haven't we?
0:25:59 > 0:26:01No! Yeah!
0:26:02 > 0:26:04I'm not ashamed to say it -
0:26:04 > 0:26:06my son is my best friend.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09I'm just glad you got your mother's hair.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Shut up, Da! What's going on?
0:26:13 > 0:26:14And Graham.
0:26:16 > 0:26:19I haven't known you very long, but...
0:26:19 > 0:26:21you seem like a good skin.
0:26:21 > 0:26:25You make Ciara happy, and you're all right by me.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Just...
0:26:28 > 0:26:30promise me you'll look after her.
0:26:31 > 0:26:33You have my word, Mr Walsh.
0:26:33 > 0:26:34Please, call me Tony.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38Thanks, Mr Walsh.
0:26:39 > 0:26:40And, Carmel.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Stop it.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Where do I start?
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Stop it right now, Tony.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Let me see that thing! Let me see that bloody thing!
0:26:50 > 0:26:53I thought we'd grow old together.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58But my anal companion...
0:26:58 > 0:26:59it's bennigan!
0:26:59 > 0:27:01HE SOBS
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Bennigan?
0:27:06 > 0:27:07Yeah.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Give me that bloody thing!
0:27:11 > 0:27:12It's written there.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18Benign, Tony!
0:27:18 > 0:27:22Benign, whatever way you say it, I'm finished!
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Bennigan.
0:27:24 > 0:27:26You hairy goose!
0:27:26 > 0:27:28Benign is the good one, Tony!
0:27:28 > 0:27:30- What?- They're doctors!
0:27:30 > 0:27:33They are not going to put "all clear" on it!
0:27:34 > 0:27:36Are you sure benign's the good one?
0:27:36 > 0:27:37Of course I'm sure.
0:27:38 > 0:27:40There's a rhyme to remember -
0:27:40 > 0:27:43"Benign is fine, malignant is..."
0:27:43 > 0:27:46Well, anyway, benign is fine.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48Benign is fine.
0:27:48 > 0:27:50- Benign is fine?- It's fine.
0:27:50 > 0:27:51HE LAUGHS
0:27:51 > 0:27:53Benign is fine!
0:27:54 > 0:27:57- Benign is fine!- Benign is fine! - Benign is fine!
0:27:57 > 0:28:00Benign is fine! Benign is fine! Benign is fine!
0:28:00 > 0:28:04ALL: Benign is fine! Benign is fine! Benign is fine!
0:28:04 > 0:28:05THEY LAUGH
0:28:05 > 0:28:07I told yous!
0:28:07 > 0:28:09- MARTIN:- 'Benign is fine.'
0:28:09 > 0:28:11- Oh, God!- Good man, Martin.
0:28:11 > 0:28:13Right, will we go?
0:28:13 > 0:28:16- Yeah, I'm starving! - Good man, Rory! Let's go!
0:28:20 > 0:28:22I'm getting a burger.
0:28:22 > 0:28:24- CIARA:- Oh, Da! We've missed the early bird!
0:28:24 > 0:28:28Ah, don't worry about it, we'll go a la carte! Hey-hey! On me!
0:28:28 > 0:28:31But we won't get any starters cos it's getting a bit late.
0:28:37 > 0:28:41- MARTIN:- # When no-one else can understand me
0:28:41 > 0:28:44# When everything I do is wrong
0:28:45 > 0:28:49# You give me hope and consolation
0:28:49 > 0:28:53# You give me strength to carry on
0:28:53 > 0:28:56# And you're always there
0:28:56 > 0:28:59# To lend a hand
0:28:59 > 0:29:04# In every thing I do
0:29:04 > 0:29:07# That's the wonder
0:29:07 > 0:29:09# The wonder of you
0:29:11 > 0:29:13# That's the wonder
0:29:13 > 0:29:16# The wonder of you. #