Bad Mans

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0:00:02 > 0:00:04'My name's Sam Pinkett.

0:00:04 > 0:00:06'I was there when you crashed your car this morning.

0:00:06 > 0:00:09'After you'd been taken to the hospital, your phone started ringing.'

0:00:09 > 0:00:12- MAN:- If you are not here by five, we will kill your wife.

0:00:12 > 0:00:13'I know everything.'

0:00:13 > 0:00:16What is going on? Don't lie to me.

0:00:16 > 0:00:18- A woman's been kidnapped. - Oh, get out!

0:00:18 > 0:00:22This is our moment. We've been chosen.

0:00:22 > 0:00:26I'm a town planning and noise guidance advisor for Berkshire County Council.

0:00:26 > 0:00:29If I don't have that research pack on my desk today,

0:00:29 > 0:00:31it's me that's going to look bad.

0:00:31 > 0:00:34You're a 31-year-old mail distribution assistant who

0:00:34 > 0:00:36lives with his mum.

0:00:36 > 0:00:38If there's any way I can save your wife, I will.

0:00:38 > 0:00:39That's not my phone.

0:00:39 > 0:00:41'We're gonna cross a lot of bridges, Sam.'

0:00:41 > 0:00:43Jump a lot of hurdles.

0:00:43 > 0:00:45I don't know what you're talking about.

0:00:45 > 0:00:47- SHOUTS:- I'm talking about rolling deep!

0:00:47 > 0:00:50So, are we gonna get the bus? Or... Aargh!!

0:00:50 > 0:00:51Sam, Sam, Sam!

0:01:13 > 0:01:15WHEELS SKID, ENGINE STRAINS

0:01:42 > 0:01:43HE GRUNTS

0:01:55 > 0:01:56GUN COCKS

0:02:01 > 0:02:02GUNSHOT

0:02:39 > 0:02:41This programme contains very strong language.

0:02:52 > 0:02:54Sam!

0:02:54 > 0:02:55Sam, is that you?

0:02:55 > 0:02:57Yes, Phil.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59Cough if you can hear me.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01Of course I can...

0:03:03 > 0:03:04SAM COUGHS

0:03:06 > 0:03:08PHIL COUGHS TWICE

0:03:08 > 0:03:10- What was that?- It's code.

0:03:10 > 0:03:11PHIL COUGHS TWICE AGAIN

0:03:11 > 0:03:13Well, I don't know what it meant,

0:03:13 > 0:03:15so if it's a code, you'd have to explain it to me.

0:03:15 > 0:03:18- OK, it's easy... - Don't explain it to me!

0:03:18 > 0:03:21If anyone is listening, you're explaining it to them.

0:03:21 > 0:03:22It defeats the...

0:03:22 > 0:03:23SHOUTS: Hello!

0:03:25 > 0:03:28If anyone's listening, I don't know who you think we are

0:03:28 > 0:03:30but we're not him.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33My name is Sam Pinkett and I work for the council.

0:03:33 > 0:03:35My name is Philip Bourne, and I don't work for the council,

0:03:35 > 0:03:36I just work in the building.

0:03:36 > 0:03:38I'm sub-contracted.

0:03:38 > 0:03:40There's nobody there.

0:03:43 > 0:03:45Where's my money?

0:03:48 > 0:03:49Where's my money?

0:03:49 > 0:03:51There's been a misunderstanding.

0:03:51 > 0:03:55I gave my guy my money, and a phone.

0:03:56 > 0:04:01Now, there is no guy. There is no money.

0:04:01 > 0:04:04And I traced the phone and ended up with you.

0:04:04 > 0:04:08Now, I don't care what happened to him, but I'm gonna ask you this

0:04:08 > 0:04:09one last time...

0:04:10 > 0:04:13..where is my money?

0:04:13 > 0:04:15- I don't know. SHOUTS:- Don't lie to me!

0:04:15 > 0:04:17- I'm not lying.- Where is it?!

0:04:17 > 0:04:19- Please. - Where is my money?

0:04:19 > 0:04:22- You have to believe me. - I will tear you apart! Where is it?

0:04:22 > 0:04:25Please! I'm telling you the truth! I'm being completely honest.

0:04:25 > 0:04:27- Where's my money? - This is just a huge mistake...

0:04:27 > 0:04:30I've got it! I've got it. I've got your money. I've got it.

0:04:32 > 0:04:33Big time.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35Where is it?

0:04:36 > 0:04:40It's in a safety deposit box. In Edinburgh.

0:04:40 > 0:04:42WHISPERS: I really don't think this...

0:04:42 > 0:04:43What's it doing there?

0:04:43 > 0:04:45No-one would think to look for it there.

0:04:45 > 0:04:48- If you're here, who took it there? - A friend.

0:04:48 > 0:04:49A friend?

0:04:49 > 0:04:51Of my nan's. A friend of my nan's.

0:04:51 > 0:04:54She was going up anyway, for...Hogmanay.

0:04:54 > 0:04:55And so she took it.

0:04:57 > 0:05:03So you gave her a bag, with £3 million cash,

0:05:03 > 0:05:05to take to Edinburgh?

0:05:05 > 0:05:06Yes.

0:05:06 > 0:05:08Are you sure?

0:05:09 > 0:05:10Yes.

0:05:10 > 0:05:12That's funny, cos I've only lost 800 grand.

0:05:12 > 0:05:14Aargh! Sam! Sam!

0:05:14 > 0:05:17Where are you taking him? Please don't hurt him!

0:05:17 > 0:05:18Please! Please!

0:05:18 > 0:05:19BEEPING, ENGINE STARTS

0:05:19 > 0:05:23This compactor exerts 150 tonnes of pressure.

0:05:24 > 0:05:27It can crush a car in 45 seconds.

0:05:27 > 0:05:28WHIRRING

0:05:28 > 0:05:31So I don't think it's gonna have much trouble with you, sunshine.

0:05:31 > 0:05:34Please, this is nothing to do with us!

0:05:34 > 0:05:36Where did you get this phone?

0:05:36 > 0:05:37What did you do with my guy?

0:05:38 > 0:05:40That money was to buy back my wife!

0:05:40 > 0:05:44Now she's dead! You thief! Now I'm gonna have a...

0:05:44 > 0:05:45PHONE RINGS

0:05:46 > 0:05:48Your wife? You're Mr...

0:05:54 > 0:05:55Hello, Jim.

0:05:57 > 0:05:58No, no, I've just...

0:05:58 > 0:06:00I've just been for a run.

0:06:02 > 0:06:04No.

0:06:04 > 0:06:07Oh, well, no, no, me neither.

0:06:08 > 0:06:12Well, she's at one of these spa, er, days.

0:06:12 > 0:06:13Yeah.

0:06:13 > 0:06:16No, no, no - there's no need for you to do that.

0:06:16 > 0:06:19Just as soon as she calls me, I'll get her to...

0:06:19 > 0:06:20Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you...

0:06:20 > 0:06:23PHONE CONNECTION ENDS

0:06:23 > 0:06:24..You take care.

0:06:24 > 0:06:26She's alive.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31Your wife, she isn't dead. You're Mr Stevens, right?

0:06:31 > 0:06:33You're Mr Stevens?

0:06:36 > 0:06:37Yes.

0:06:37 > 0:06:38They thought I was you.

0:06:38 > 0:06:40I found the phone by the side of the road.

0:06:40 > 0:06:43They've been talking to me, thinking I was you.

0:06:43 > 0:06:47So you just "found" this phone?

0:06:47 > 0:06:49We thought it belonged to a guy to crashed his car there.

0:06:49 > 0:06:53- That's why we were at the hospital. - They changed the meeting.

0:06:53 > 0:06:56It's six o'clock. A different address. I've got it in my pocket.

0:06:56 > 0:06:57Take it out.

0:06:57 > 0:06:58The other...pocket.

0:07:10 > 0:07:14- Why should I believe you? - It's the truth. It's like I said to the guy in the hospital,

0:07:14 > 0:07:16who I thought was you before he turned out not to be you,

0:07:16 > 0:07:19if there was any way I could save your wife, I would.

0:07:22 > 0:07:24Suppose I believe you...

0:07:26 > 0:07:27..and that this meeting is for real.

0:07:29 > 0:07:31I'm not gonna go there without any money.

0:07:31 > 0:07:34- No, I wouldn't do that.- Makes sense.

0:07:34 > 0:07:36Only a total idiot would go there without any money!

0:07:36 > 0:07:39Yeah, we were actually saying that at the hospital before.

0:07:39 > 0:07:42Which is why I'm sending you.

0:07:46 > 0:07:47- What?- You're joking, right?

0:07:49 > 0:07:50Those winks mean you're joking, right?

0:07:50 > 0:07:52That was a joke. That was a funny joke.

0:07:52 > 0:07:54When you do a wink, it means it's a joke, right.

0:07:54 > 0:07:58I think we established quite clearly that we just work for the council.

0:07:58 > 0:07:59SONG PLAYS ON RADIO

0:07:59 > 0:08:01# Nibblin' on my sponge cake

0:08:03 > 0:08:05# Watching the sun bake

0:08:07 > 0:08:11# All of those tourists covered in oil... #

0:08:14 > 0:08:15SONG CONTINUES ON RADIO

0:08:22 > 0:08:25I think that's long enough.

0:08:25 > 0:08:28I don't understand. This was definitely the meeting place.

0:08:28 > 0:08:31I swear. Please believe me.

0:08:36 > 0:08:40We've been waiting here for an hour and no-one's here.

0:08:41 > 0:08:43You've got to understand how this looks.

0:08:45 > 0:08:49I track you leaving the home of one of Russia's most wanted,

0:08:49 > 0:08:51with close to a million pounds.

0:08:53 > 0:08:55And...

0:08:55 > 0:08:57when I politely ask you to stop...

0:08:59 > 0:09:01..you run, and keep running.

0:09:03 > 0:09:05I mean, at best it's rude.

0:09:05 > 0:09:09And then, when we do finally get to have a little chat,

0:09:09 > 0:09:13you tell me that you've been talking to a man on a phone.

0:09:14 > 0:09:18A phone which doesn't seem to exist.

0:09:19 > 0:09:21So...

0:09:21 > 0:09:26how about we stop with the fairy tales and start with the truth?

0:09:28 > 0:09:30OK?

0:09:37 > 0:09:38Right.

0:09:48 > 0:09:50You, take this.

0:09:50 > 0:09:53Combination is on there.

0:09:53 > 0:09:55You, get out.

0:09:55 > 0:09:56What? Why?

0:09:56 > 0:09:58Get out!

0:09:58 > 0:10:02- Ah! Don't...- Please don't hurt him. - Oh, my God.

0:10:02 > 0:10:04Just do it. Do it quick.

0:10:04 > 0:10:05Do it quick.

0:10:05 > 0:10:07Just... Wait, wait!

0:10:07 > 0:10:09Wait... Wait.

0:10:11 > 0:10:14Sam, Sam. Oh, God.

0:10:14 > 0:10:20Under my mattress, under my mattress there's some magazines and a DVD.

0:10:21 > 0:10:23I need you to find them and get rid of them.

0:10:23 > 0:10:25I can't bear my mum to see them, all right.

0:10:25 > 0:10:28Just burn them. Don't even look at them yourself.

0:10:28 > 0:10:30- They're disgusting.- Get up.

0:10:30 > 0:10:34- What?- Get in the front.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36You're driving the rest of the way.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45It's nothing illegal. It's just bums and stuff.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08You better pray that she's still alive.

0:11:08 > 0:11:11Because if she's not, you're next.

0:11:32 > 0:11:33We're gonna die.

0:11:59 > 0:12:01PHONE RINGS

0:12:04 > 0:12:05Go on, answer it.

0:12:08 > 0:12:09- Yes?- 'You're not Mr Stevens.'

0:12:09 > 0:12:13No. I did try to tell you before.

0:12:13 > 0:12:15'What's your name?'

0:12:15 > 0:12:18- Craig.- 'And you're not alone.'

0:12:18 > 0:12:20No, I needed someone to help me with the chair.

0:12:20 > 0:12:22'Give the phone to your friend.'

0:12:24 > 0:12:26WHISPERS: He wants to talk to you.

0:12:26 > 0:12:28- WHISPERS:- Why? - WHISPERS: I don't know. Just take it.

0:12:33 > 0:12:35Hello. This is Brad speaking.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37'In a moment, you will give the phone back to your friend.

0:12:37 > 0:12:40'You will lie down and place your hands on your head,

0:12:40 > 0:12:44'and you will not move, because if you do, you will be shot.'

0:12:46 > 0:12:47OK.

0:12:47 > 0:12:51- WHISPERS: What are you doing? WHISPERS:- Shut up, shut up, shut up.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56- WHISPERS:- Sam!

0:12:57 > 0:12:58- WHISPERS:- Good luck.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26Is that the money?

0:13:26 > 0:13:28Mmm-hm.

0:13:28 > 0:13:30Good.

0:13:31 > 0:13:33Your employer is a foolish man.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38- Foolish, cowardly man. - He's not actually my employer...

0:13:38 > 0:13:42Six months I gave him. Nothing but lies and false promises.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44It's a shame.

0:13:44 > 0:13:48It took all this to make him listen and deliver what he owes.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50Well?

0:13:50 > 0:13:52Shall we proceed?

0:13:52 > 0:13:53I need assurances.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56I don't think you call the shots here.

0:13:56 > 0:13:58This is a trade.

0:13:58 > 0:14:01I'm not leaving without her. That's the deal.

0:14:01 > 0:14:03So if you're thinking of pulling a fast one, then...

0:14:03 > 0:14:05don't...

0:14:05 > 0:14:07please.

0:14:09 > 0:14:10Untie her.

0:14:11 > 0:14:13This is what we're going to do.

0:14:15 > 0:14:17She will come forward, alone.

0:14:18 > 0:14:20We'll both have one hand on the case

0:14:20 > 0:14:22and when she passes me,

0:14:22 > 0:14:25you will let go.

0:14:25 > 0:14:26Right.

0:14:28 > 0:14:29Are you happy with that?

0:14:29 > 0:14:30Yeah.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33But first, we must count the money.

0:14:35 > 0:14:37Are you...are you sure you don't want to do that later?

0:14:37 > 0:14:40- Just, just cos it'll take ages. - Open the case.

0:14:40 > 0:14:44And I haven't got one of those machines that...thrrrrrrr.

0:14:47 > 0:14:49OK.

0:14:53 > 0:14:55Looks like they were right.

0:14:55 > 0:14:57Three...

0:15:01 > 0:15:02- One.- One.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07I don't know if that's an eight or a nine.

0:15:07 > 0:15:08That's a nine.

0:15:08 > 0:15:11Can you get a shot on Lau?

0:15:11 > 0:15:13Hang on, you haven't paid me to take anybody out.

0:15:13 > 0:15:17If she dies, then I'm dead and you'll get nothing.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24- Oh, my God!- What a surprise.

0:15:24 > 0:15:26I don't bloody believe this.

0:15:26 > 0:15:28He said it was full of money and, and...

0:15:28 > 0:15:30it isn't.

0:15:33 > 0:15:35I'm going to have to kill you now.

0:15:39 > 0:15:40WHISPERS: Go on.

0:15:42 > 0:15:43WHISPERS: Go on.

0:15:52 > 0:15:54BAG POPS

0:16:02 > 0:16:04Run! Get in the car!

0:16:04 > 0:16:06- There's no shot. - Fuck, fuck, fuck.

0:16:15 > 0:16:16I've never driven manual!

0:16:16 > 0:16:18- Go!- I can't do the gears!

0:16:18 > 0:16:19What are you doing?

0:16:19 > 0:16:22I've only just regained the use of my legs, Phil.

0:16:22 > 0:16:24Aaargh! Aargh!

0:16:25 > 0:16:27Put your foot... Put the clutch down.

0:16:27 > 0:16:30- OK.- Give it some gas.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32I've done it. I've got it.

0:16:32 > 0:16:33I've got it, I've got it.

0:16:37 > 0:16:39- That's it, that's it, that's it. - Arrgh! Argh!

0:16:39 > 0:16:42Jesus! Are you OK, Phil?

0:16:42 > 0:16:44Phil, talk to me.

0:16:44 > 0:16:47Talk to me, Phil.

0:16:47 > 0:16:48I'm going to try and change gear.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52CAR BACKFIRES AND GRINDS

0:16:53 > 0:16:56Get off! Get the fuck off me!

0:16:56 > 0:16:59RADIO PLAYS JIMMY BUFFETT: Margaritaville

0:17:05 > 0:17:09PHIL PANTS

0:17:09 > 0:17:14- # Some people claim that there's a woman to blame...- #

0:17:35 > 0:17:37- We're gonna have to kill him.- What?!

0:17:37 > 0:17:40- We've got to chop him... - We're not murderers!

0:17:40 > 0:17:43Well, we can't let him go. He's seen our faces.

0:17:43 > 0:17:45If we let him go, he'll come back. He tried to kill us!

0:17:45 > 0:17:47We'll think of something.

0:17:47 > 0:17:48OK, we're not...

0:17:48 > 0:17:51- Oh, God. Do you want me to drive? - Yes, please.

0:18:00 > 0:18:04Right, so ropes and cable ties, yeah?

0:18:04 > 0:18:07- Anything. Just be quick, yeah? - Right.

0:18:25 > 0:18:26Philip?

0:18:26 > 0:18:28Is that you, boo-bear?

0:18:30 > 0:18:31Hiya, Mum.

0:18:31 > 0:18:35Can you do my hot water bottle for me, please? I don't want to come downstairs.

0:18:35 > 0:18:36Yes, Mum.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40What are you doing?

0:19:01 > 0:19:05Please...please... Let's just talk about this...

0:19:12 > 0:19:14I have no quarrels with you!

0:19:16 > 0:19:18- Thank you.- All right.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20And a glass of water, please, Philip.

0:19:21 > 0:19:24Let's just be reasonable and talk about this.

0:19:28 > 0:19:31If we met in other circumstances, we would very possibly get on.

0:19:31 > 0:19:33Shut up. No, no...

0:19:33 > 0:19:35- You're the one who's trying... - I'm not...

0:19:35 > 0:19:38CAR HORN HONKS

0:19:38 > 0:19:40Please! Please!

0:19:40 > 0:19:41SHOUTING CONTINUES

0:19:43 > 0:19:45Nice of you to join us.

0:19:45 > 0:19:49Aaargh!

0:19:49 > 0:19:54- TV:- 'It's a very delicate issue and we're consulting with numerous organisations.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57'But there has been a delay, minister, you can't deny that.

0:19:57 > 0:19:59'I'm not denying anything, neither am I confirming...'

0:19:59 > 0:20:02- Evening, Phil. - Hiya, Len. What are you watching?

0:20:02 > 0:20:05Well, I'm watching this weird new game show,

0:20:05 > 0:20:10where the host asks the question and the contestant spends as long as possible avoiding answering it.

0:20:10 > 0:20:12You might have seen it, it's called Newsnight.

0:20:12 > 0:20:15- LAUGHS:- Classic, Len.

0:20:15 > 0:20:16What are you doing here? You're late.

0:20:16 > 0:20:18- I don't know how you do nights. - Well, I hate it.

0:20:18 > 0:20:21- Brussels!- What's that?

0:20:21 > 0:20:23I'm just saying. Europe. Cor.

0:20:23 > 0:20:25- I couldn't agree with you more. - Don't get me started.

0:20:25 > 0:20:26Don't get ME started, right.

0:20:26 > 0:20:2819 delegates flew into London.

0:20:28 > 0:20:3119 of them, right, and they come...

0:20:31 > 0:20:32Cheers, Len!

0:20:32 > 0:20:34Yeah, see you later.

0:20:39 > 0:20:42- God, this is exciting. - I don't know about this.

0:20:42 > 0:20:44I mean, how long before Len finds him?

0:20:44 > 0:20:47Len's not gonna come up here. I told you, no-one does.

0:20:47 > 0:20:51I come up here sometimes twice a day and I've never seen anyone.

0:20:51 > 0:20:53Why do you come up here?

0:20:55 > 0:20:57What are you doing?

0:20:57 > 0:20:59Pulling down his pants.

0:20:59 > 0:21:00I can see that. Why?

0:21:00 > 0:21:04Humiliation. The first rule of taking a hostage. Humiliate them.

0:21:04 > 0:21:05Make them feel disgusted.

0:21:05 > 0:21:08This is Berkshire County Council, not Abu Ghraib.

0:21:08 > 0:21:11And we haven't taken a hostage. We just happen to have one.

0:21:11 > 0:21:13You need to need to start thinking like a...

0:21:13 > 0:21:15Pull up his fucking pants!

0:21:17 > 0:21:19There's a pipe over there. We'll tie him to that.

0:21:21 > 0:21:25You should have let me go, because you are in big trouble now.

0:21:25 > 0:21:29You have no idea. My uncle will kill you.

0:21:29 > 0:21:34And then as soon as I'm out of this, I'm gonna tear you limb by limb.

0:21:34 > 0:21:35I'm gonna smash your face off.

0:21:35 > 0:21:37I'm gonna hurt you.

0:21:42 > 0:21:44Oh, God, Phil, what are we doing?

0:21:44 > 0:21:47What are we doing? We're saving a woman's life.

0:21:47 > 0:21:50This is a game changer, Sam. The game has changed.

0:21:50 > 0:21:53- Stop calling it a game. - We hold all the cards here.

0:21:53 > 0:21:56Now, you heard what he said - his uncle.

0:21:56 > 0:21:59That's family, Sam. There's no stronger bond on earth.

0:21:59 > 0:22:01We just have to tie him up, wait for that phone to ring

0:22:01 > 0:22:04and tell him that we call the shots now.

0:22:06 > 0:22:08- Where are you going?- Home.

0:22:08 > 0:22:09What! We...

0:22:09 > 0:22:10I don't sleep well here.

0:22:10 > 0:22:13We've got to stay with him. Keep guard.

0:22:13 > 0:22:16We'll sleep in shifts. I'll take the first four hours

0:22:16 > 0:22:17and then you wake me up, OK.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32Sam. Sam.

0:22:32 > 0:22:36- Is it my turn?- No, it's morning.

0:22:36 > 0:22:37You stayed awake all night?

0:22:39 > 0:22:40Umm, yeah, I did, yeah.

0:22:40 > 0:22:42KNOCKS ON FLOOR

0:22:42 > 0:22:45Mmmm-mmm-mmm.

0:22:46 > 0:22:47Mmmm-mm-mm-mm.

0:22:48 > 0:22:50I think he's trying to say something.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52Yeah.

0:22:59 > 0:23:01I need the toilet.

0:23:14 > 0:23:16Sam!

0:23:16 > 0:23:17Morning.

0:23:17 > 0:23:19You're early.

0:23:19 > 0:23:21I'd be impressed...

0:23:21 > 0:23:24if you hadn't taken half the afternoon off yesterday without telling me.

0:23:24 > 0:23:26I'm sorry.

0:23:26 > 0:23:28- Why did you ignore my calls? - I wasn't.

0:23:28 > 0:23:30You know how important this is to me.

0:23:30 > 0:23:32I promise I'll do it this morning.

0:23:32 > 0:23:33- Noel did it.- Right.

0:23:35 > 0:23:37Look, I think we should just sit down and talk,

0:23:37 > 0:23:39because there's obviously something...

0:23:41 > 0:23:43Have you...?

0:23:45 > 0:23:48Yeah. It's me, that's what you can smell.

0:23:48 > 0:23:50It's my fart.

0:23:52 > 0:23:53That's disgusting.

0:23:55 > 0:23:56I know.

0:23:56 > 0:23:57I had a roast.

0:23:59 > 0:24:02It was an onion gravy.

0:24:04 > 0:24:05It's not going away.

0:24:05 > 0:24:07I'm still doing it now.

0:24:09 > 0:24:12I've been doing it the whole time we've been stood here.

0:24:12 > 0:24:15You're foul.

0:24:15 > 0:24:18Look, I just came up to check on the room before I bring everyone up.

0:24:18 > 0:24:19Everyone up?

0:24:19 > 0:24:24- Yeah, for the meeting. I just want to make sure the room's clean. - This room? Is clean.

0:24:24 > 0:24:26That's what, that's what I came up here to do.

0:24:26 > 0:24:28OK. Would you mind putting some chairs out?

0:24:28 > 0:24:30Yeah. No, no, no, I will.

0:24:30 > 0:24:32I've just got some shit to deal with.

0:24:35 > 0:24:36OK, thanks.

0:24:39 > 0:24:40We all love this town.

0:24:41 > 0:24:43I can see it in your faces.

0:24:44 > 0:24:46Well, two years ago I had a dream.

0:24:47 > 0:24:49A dream of a bright future.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53Of a regenerated Bracknell.

0:24:53 > 0:24:57What I wasn't expecting of course was the red tape.

0:24:58 > 0:25:02Look at me, you piece of shit. Look at me.

0:25:02 > 0:25:05..everybody apart from one, that is.

0:25:05 > 0:25:09Because of her, we're just a few days away from realising that dream.

0:25:10 > 0:25:12So I give you, your very own...

0:25:12 > 0:25:14Elizabeth Green.

0:25:14 > 0:25:16..Elizabeth Green, yes.

0:25:19 > 0:25:21"Yes, yes, yes, Mr Reid, do me.

0:25:21 > 0:25:23"Do me now."

0:25:23 > 0:25:25I just want to run through how this will go...

0:25:25 > 0:25:28- WHISPERS:- I don't want to hear you make a sound

0:25:28 > 0:25:30cos I will end you. Wah!

0:25:30 > 0:25:32..Black tie, everyone.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34Is white tie OK?

0:25:34 > 0:25:35- Yes, Alan. Yes.- Cool.

0:25:35 > 0:25:39- Then on Friday...- I bet you're shitting yourself, yeah?

0:25:39 > 0:25:40Yeah?

0:25:40 > 0:25:43I will take your nose. It's gone.

0:25:43 > 0:25:46Where is it? Whoa. Where's your nose gone?

0:25:46 > 0:25:48There it is. Put it back.

0:25:48 > 0:25:50That's right, motherfucker!

0:25:52 > 0:25:55I've written up what I think will be their most pressing concerns...

0:25:55 > 0:25:59- See what happens if you make a sound. Go on, I dare you. - ..so please do have a look.

0:25:59 > 0:26:00What's that? What?

0:26:00 > 0:26:02Huh, huh? Yeah that's right.

0:26:02 > 0:26:03Aaargh!

0:26:03 > 0:26:05Aargh!

0:26:06 > 0:26:08- PHIL:- Aaargh!- Aaah-ha!

0:26:13 > 0:26:15Sam?

0:26:16 > 0:26:19GROWLS: Aaa-have-it!

0:26:19 > 0:26:21I have it.

0:26:21 > 0:26:22I have it.

0:26:24 > 0:26:25What do you...what do you have?

0:26:27 > 0:26:29The slogan?

0:26:29 > 0:26:31Let's hear it.

0:26:31 > 0:26:33Now?

0:26:33 > 0:26:36Yes, because you've interrupted the meeting.

0:26:36 > 0:26:37OK.

0:26:38 > 0:26:39HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

0:26:44 > 0:26:46Bracknell...

0:26:52 > 0:26:53Is that it?

0:26:53 > 0:26:54No.

0:26:54 > 0:26:56- Unless you liked...? - Not particularly.

0:26:56 > 0:26:59No. Well, there's more, so, OK.

0:26:59 > 0:27:01Bracknell...

0:27:04 > 0:27:05..small town...

0:27:08 > 0:27:09..big...

0:27:11 > 0:27:12..future.

0:27:20 > 0:27:22That's really good.

0:27:22 > 0:27:23Is it?

0:27:23 > 0:27:26Can we get that on a banner for tomorrow?

0:27:26 > 0:27:28Yeah, can't see why not.

0:27:38 > 0:27:40"Ah have it!"

0:27:40 > 0:27:41Aren't you coming?

0:27:41 > 0:27:43I'll be down in a minute.

0:27:43 > 0:27:46Sam, this gentleman's here to see you.

0:27:51 > 0:27:54You left this at our last meeting...

0:27:54 > 0:27:55Sam.

0:27:59 > 0:28:01Run!

0:28:01 > 0:28:04'My name is Agent Jack Walker and I work for the British Secret Service.'

0:28:04 > 0:28:06Get in.

0:28:14 > 0:28:17You have no idea what you're involved with here -

0:28:17 > 0:28:20how out of your depth you are.

0:28:46 > 0:28:49Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd