0:00:02 > 0:00:05This programme contains strong language
0:00:11 > 0:00:14Bumworth! Bumworth!
0:00:14 > 0:00:16They're filming us, look. Oi!
0:00:16 > 0:00:17Yeah, we're on TV, look.
0:00:18 > 0:00:19BBC, yeah.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24He's a fucking twat, don't film him. He's a fucking bell end.
0:00:33 > 0:00:34BLOWING NOSE
0:00:36 > 0:00:37I'm so ill.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41I can't even smell. I forgot what it's like to smell.
0:00:41 > 0:00:44You just take these sort of things for granted, don't you? KNOCK ON DOOR
0:00:44 > 0:00:48What's the point in knocking if you're just going to walk in anyway?
0:00:48 > 0:00:50Fucking hell. Sorry, mate.
0:00:50 > 0:00:51I'm so ill.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53- I'm so ill.- You look like shit.
0:00:53 > 0:00:54Is Uncle Nugget here yet?
0:00:54 > 0:00:56No, he's not here.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59- Are these lot filming him, are they? - Yeah.- Cos I got this.
0:00:59 > 0:01:00Yeah, let's see it then.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03- Took me ages.- I'll hold it. - No, no...
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- Hold it together. - I'll hold it together, then.
0:01:06 > 0:01:08- Justice.- Justice.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12On March the 13th, 2009,
0:01:12 > 0:01:15our Uncle Nugget was wrongly incinerated for having a laugh.
0:01:15 > 0:01:20- Incarcerated.- And today he's being released and he's coming home so
0:01:20 > 0:01:23we're throwing a justice party for him.
0:01:23 > 0:01:30Well, the reason Uncle Nugget ended up in prison was because he was just
0:01:30 > 0:01:33having a laugh, right? He was at Swindon bus station and one of the
0:01:33 > 0:01:38bus drivers quickly got off the bus to go and get some change and Uncle
0:01:38 > 0:01:41Nugget seen this as an opportunity to have a laugh.
0:01:41 > 0:01:45So he quickly ran on the bus, there were still some passengers on it,
0:01:45 > 0:01:49turned on the ignition and just drove the bus off and went round
0:01:49 > 0:01:52and round the roundabout, for about four hours.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56It was a miscarriage of justice though, cos what people forget is
0:01:56 > 0:01:59- 12 out of them 20 hostages actually found it funny.- Yeah.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03I'd never, honestly never seen that many people crying in court.
0:02:03 > 0:02:05- Have you?- Yeah. Tears of laughter, though.- Yeah.
0:02:06 > 0:02:10Kerry does look up to her Uncle Steve as a role model.
0:02:12 > 0:02:13But...
0:02:13 > 0:02:16I don't think Steve always
0:02:16 > 0:02:20thinks very deeply about the example he might be setting her.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25So we started the "He Was Only Having A Laugh" campaign because
0:02:25 > 0:02:28we's the only one in the family that has sort of stuck by him,
0:02:28 > 0:02:29- haven't we?- Yeah.
0:02:29 > 0:02:31Cos our Auntie Pat HATES him.
0:02:31 > 0:02:34- She says she can't touch him with a bargepole, didn't she?- Yeah.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38No!
0:02:38 > 0:02:39I said no.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45I put it in the plant pot outside.
0:02:54 > 0:02:56Oh, we got rid of that ages ago.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Oh, fuck knows where that is!
0:03:01 > 0:03:03Oh, she'll just have to use this, then, That'll do, won't it?
0:03:03 > 0:03:05That'll do.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Mum, I can't...
0:03:07 > 0:03:10I don't know where the hammer is but I've found something else.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13I can't wait to take Nugget down the Keepers for his first pint of
0:03:13 > 0:03:17freedom. Last time me and him went down Keepers, yeah?
0:03:17 > 0:03:19We got so smashed,
0:03:19 > 0:03:22and when the pub closed he frogmarched me to the cashpoint,
0:03:22 > 0:03:23made me get 200 quid out.
0:03:25 > 0:03:28Which is a bit annoying but when Nugget wants something you can't
0:03:28 > 0:03:31really sort of...
0:03:31 > 0:03:33You've got to let him, cos he gets a bit cross.
0:03:33 > 0:03:34And...
0:03:34 > 0:03:37yeah, he spent it all on acid and knives, I think.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40And a roasting joint, which he ended up stabbing with the knives.
0:03:42 > 0:03:43But it was a laugh. I mean...
0:03:43 > 0:03:45Yeah, it's annoying, but...
0:03:45 > 0:03:47He's just got that charm, you know?
0:03:47 > 0:03:49You can't say no to him.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52God, we were... That was a mad night.
0:03:54 > 0:03:55Same again tonight, I think.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58I'll probably leave my bank card here though.
0:03:58 > 0:04:02So, me and Kurtan are both cousins, right? And...
0:04:02 > 0:04:05our Auntie Linda got married to Nugget
0:04:05 > 0:04:08so he's our uncle by marriage.
0:04:08 > 0:04:12And they had a really good marriage until one day they went to Ikea
0:04:12 > 0:04:15and he brought back some, like, flat-pack furniture
0:04:15 > 0:04:18and he was so mad cos he lost the instructions,
0:04:18 > 0:04:20and he blamed her for stealing them,
0:04:20 > 0:04:22cos he's very paranoid.
0:04:22 > 0:04:26And he kept thinking that she was making him have Alzheimer's cos
0:04:26 > 0:04:31she kept apparently moving his belongings, like his slippers.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34The thing is with Nugget, you can be having a laugh with him,
0:04:34 > 0:04:36and we'll be laughing, laughing, laughing,
0:04:36 > 0:04:37he'll be laughing, laughing, laughing
0:04:37 > 0:04:40and then suddenly he'll stop...
0:04:41 > 0:04:43..and be, like, "What are you laughing at?"
0:04:43 > 0:04:45Kerry, can you put the oven on, please?
0:04:45 > 0:04:46Sweet, I'm starving.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- You're not having any.- What, why?
0:04:49 > 0:04:51- Cos you're a skav - get your own food.- I'm not a skav.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53- I paid for this with my birthday money.- I'm not a skav.
0:04:53 > 0:04:55Well, get a job and pay for your own, then.
0:04:55 > 0:04:58I have got a job - I babysit people's pets, thanks.
0:04:58 > 0:05:03- Yeah, how's that going for you? - Well, it's early days.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05You can have that if you want. Look, that.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Fuck off, mate.
0:05:09 > 0:05:13There's nothing I hate more than when we go to the pub together and I
0:05:13 > 0:05:15buy a packet of crisps and she takes them,
0:05:15 > 0:05:18opens them up and puts them on the middle of the table to share.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21- I do do that.- That's not her place to do that.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22KERRY SIGHS
0:05:22 > 0:05:24Cos I bought them for me, not to share.
0:05:24 > 0:05:26- Let it go.- That's injustice.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28Let it go.
0:05:28 > 0:05:32But it was annoying. Also, when I put 50p in the it-box
0:05:32 > 0:05:36to play pub quiz, I don't want your clammy fingers reaching over jabbing
0:05:36 > 0:05:39the screen - "Mel C, Mel C" - when the question clearly states,
0:05:39 > 0:05:42"Which of the following is NOT a Spice Girl?"
0:05:43 > 0:05:45You know, we've got 15 seconds to answer the question,
0:05:45 > 0:05:47enough time to confer -
0:05:47 > 0:05:49you don't have to just jab, jab, jab.
0:05:50 > 0:05:51We can choose the right answer.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58- Sorry.- What the fuck? - I don't know why I did that.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00- What the fuck?- Sorry.
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Mum, what have we got to eat?
0:06:03 > 0:06:05What have we got to eat?
0:06:06 > 0:06:08I am looking in the freezer.
0:06:13 > 0:06:14What?
0:06:15 > 0:06:16What?!
0:06:17 > 0:06:18WHAT?!
0:06:25 > 0:06:26(Shit...)
0:06:26 > 0:06:27I forgot.
0:06:32 > 0:06:34- Oh, fuck's sake.- Business going well then, Kerr?
0:06:34 > 0:06:38- Please can I just have some of your pizza, Kurtan?- No.
0:06:38 > 0:06:39So selfish today!
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Oh, yes - turkey dinosaurs.
0:06:45 > 0:06:47- Yes...- Is it all right if I have some, Kerr?
0:06:47 > 0:06:50Yeah, if you give me a bit of your pizza.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52That's...that's not a fair swap.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Well, don't have any of my turkey dinosaurs, then.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56- Yeah, but I'm the guest.- Guest?
0:06:56 > 0:06:58You're here more than I am, mate, and it's my fucking oven.
0:07:03 > 0:07:04Whoa, whoa! What are you doing?
0:07:04 > 0:07:06You're letting the heat out, you lummock.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08No, I'm going to take your pizza and put it on the bottom shelf.
0:07:08 > 0:07:11- What are you doing, you big oaf? - Mine takes longer to cook, Kurtan.
0:07:11 > 0:07:12That is just the way of the law.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Yeah, but my pizza, yeah, has to be top shelf
0:07:14 > 0:07:17- otherwise it won't cook evenly. - Well...
0:07:17 > 0:07:19OK, here we go, here's something for you.
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Why don't you give me some of your crusts?
0:07:22 > 0:07:24And then I'll let you have top shelf.
0:07:24 > 0:07:25No.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28- Here we go. This is going to be my best offer.- Right...
0:07:28 > 0:07:31Because both of us want top shelf,
0:07:31 > 0:07:33I suggest what we do is cut the pizza in half...
0:07:33 > 0:07:35- We can't do that. No, sorry.- Why?
0:07:35 > 0:07:38Because I eat my pizza from the inside out, right?
0:07:38 > 0:07:42If you cut it in half, yeah, there's no inside to eat out from.
0:07:42 > 0:07:43I don't use the basic slice system, Kerr,
0:07:43 > 0:07:45which is why I get so fussy at Pizza Hut.
0:07:48 > 0:07:49Why are you crying?
0:07:51 > 0:07:52I'm not crying, I'm just...
0:07:52 > 0:07:54so hungry.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58I'm really sorry, Kurtan, but at the end of the day it is my oven so I am
0:07:58 > 0:08:00going to have top shelf.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Just...don't cut my pizza in half, please.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04I won't. Just chill out.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06It's just a pizza, Kurtan.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10Kurtan gets very emotional, but that's just what we're like in this family.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12One of my first memories of Nugget is...
0:08:12 > 0:08:16we all go round Nan's for Christmas Day and she was about to get the
0:08:16 > 0:08:19spread on and he was like, Uncle Nugget was like,
0:08:19 > 0:08:22"No, I want to watch Chicken Run because I've been waiting for this to come out for a year"
0:08:22 > 0:08:24cos he loves Aardman Animations, and she was like,
0:08:24 > 0:08:27"No, we're all going to sit round the table
0:08:27 > 0:08:29"and we're going to eat the Christmas lunch."
0:08:29 > 0:08:30So he absolutely kicked off.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33He said, "Well, why can't I just watch it sat on my lap?
0:08:33 > 0:08:36"And eat my food on my lap."
0:08:36 > 0:08:37And she was like, "No". She's having none of it.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40So he stormed in, he punched a hole in the turkey...
0:08:40 > 0:08:42I started sniggering at this point,
0:08:42 > 0:08:47so he just got...he literally got a ladle of bread sauce and, like, threw it across the...
0:08:47 > 0:08:51across at me. It became a bit of a joke in the family cos the next
0:08:51 > 0:08:54year we brought him Chicken Run on DVD,
0:08:54 > 0:08:58and we thought he was going to absolutely love it and laugh,
0:08:58 > 0:09:02but he really did not find it funny at all.
0:09:02 > 0:09:05Shall I tell them about why he's called Nugget?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07You can, but it's a bit boring.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09No. Right, Uncle Nugget, yeah?
0:09:09 > 0:09:13He's called Nugget because he went in this nightclub and the DJ
0:09:13 > 0:09:16wouldn't play this song he requested so he got a knife, yeah?
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Cut off half the DJ's scratching thumb,
0:09:18 > 0:09:22threw it on the floor and some bloke came along who's just fucked out of
0:09:22 > 0:09:23his brains, picked it up and ate it
0:09:23 > 0:09:27cos he thought it was a chicken nugget.
0:09:27 > 0:09:29He's called Nugget because his second name's Nuggins.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33Where the hell did that come from?
0:09:33 > 0:09:35- Seriously?- Yeah.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37I think that's still part of...
0:09:37 > 0:09:40Kurtan went through a very bad lying phase.
0:09:40 > 0:09:41Yeah, I did, yeah.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46That's the thing, I lied so much I still don't know what's real life
0:09:46 > 0:09:47- and what's plain lies.- Mmm-hmm.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50I'm so glad you're out of that lying phase.
0:10:04 > 0:10:06There's injustices in this world, so many.
0:10:06 > 0:10:09I experience it in my life every day.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Like, people look down their nose on me, like...
0:10:12 > 0:10:15When I go into the village shop, Mrs Wicks just follows me around
0:10:15 > 0:10:18like a stale guff, thinking I'm going to nick something.
0:10:18 > 0:10:20Which just makes me so mad.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Yeah. Cos you can't nick anything.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24Well, yeah, but she doesn't know that.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27For all she knows I could be going in there to buy something.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30But...you only go in there to nick stuff.
0:10:30 > 0:10:31Yeah.
0:10:31 > 0:10:35So your point is you want to go in the shop to nick stuff,
0:10:35 > 0:10:37without being followed around by Mrs Wicks?
0:10:37 > 0:10:39That would make my life easier, yes.
0:10:40 > 0:10:41What?
0:10:43 > 0:10:44What?
0:10:47 > 0:10:49SHE SIGHS She's doing this all...
0:10:49 > 0:10:50Yeah?
0:10:54 > 0:10:58Right, I'm just going to watch something. This is winding me up now.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03Yeah, I'll get some later.
0:11:03 > 0:11:07- TELEVISION: - '..across the whole of your plate that I actually really, really like.
0:11:07 > 0:11:12'The only thing I don't like the taste of is the celeriac puree
0:11:12 > 0:11:15'and the chocolate and tamarind sauce.
0:11:15 > 0:11:19'It's sweet, sweet earthiness and I can't get it to sit happily.'
0:11:21 > 0:11:24- She's not happy.- 'I thought the dish was cooked beautifully.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26'Your venison is wonderful and soft.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28'Your celeriac puree is wonderful and creamy.
0:11:28 > 0:11:29'Your beetroot - melt in your mouth.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32'The crispness of your little rissoles, which crumble on the
0:11:32 > 0:11:35'outside, they're really lovely and shredded on the inside.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38'But the thing for me is, it all needs a little bit more seasoning.'
0:11:38 > 0:11:39She's livid, look.
0:11:39 > 0:11:41'The venison needs a decent...'
0:11:41 > 0:11:43You know what? I actually can't watch this - sorry, Kerr.
0:11:43 > 0:11:45- Oh, no, don't. - That is utter torture.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54Can't take Gramps four hours to drive from Gloucester.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56That's only a half an hour drive.
0:11:56 > 0:11:59It does. It actually does cos he goes at 5mph
0:11:59 > 0:12:01and he likes to be the only person on the road,
0:12:01 > 0:12:04so whenever he sees a car coming the other way he just pulls over.
0:12:04 > 0:12:05Yeah.
0:12:11 > 0:12:12Don't do that.
0:12:18 > 0:12:23- God, Kerr...I watched the most fucked up thing last night.- What?
0:12:23 > 0:12:27It was this real-life documentary, yeah, about this Nasa experiment,
0:12:27 > 0:12:30yeah, where they sent this monkey into space in its own spacecraft.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32But when it hit a certain altitude
0:12:32 > 0:12:34the monkey's head just exploded like a grape.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36So they sent this other monkey into space...
0:12:36 > 0:12:38- Yeah?- ..in its own spacecraft.
0:12:38 > 0:12:40And they sorted the altitude problem out but,
0:12:40 > 0:12:43cos the scientists were so obsessed with doing that,
0:12:43 > 0:12:46they totally forgot to teach the monkey how to navigate its craft,
0:12:46 > 0:12:50so he just got lost in space for all time.
0:12:51 > 0:12:53Which I think is far worse, to be fair.
0:12:54 > 0:12:55What?
0:13:01 > 0:13:03Well, go to sleep then, Sue, rather than shouting down here
0:13:03 > 0:13:05the whole time, you stupid old bat.
0:13:10 > 0:13:11Oh, well done(!)
0:13:13 > 0:13:14Yeah?
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Me and Kerry's mum do not see eye to eye.
0:13:17 > 0:13:21We've had some proper stand-up blazing rows.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23Actually, just me stand-up - she's always in bed.
0:13:24 > 0:13:28Cos, see, I live with my nan and we like things in a certain way.
0:13:28 > 0:13:31We like to know where everything is.
0:13:31 > 0:13:32But Kerry and her mum,
0:13:32 > 0:13:35they're just like two pigs rolling around in their own muck.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40Mum says you've got to leave.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42- What? Why?- Cos you called her an old bat.
0:13:42 > 0:13:43She is an old bat.
0:13:49 > 0:13:52- You've got to leave now, mate. - Yeah...I heard her.
0:13:55 > 0:13:56Bye, Sue.
0:13:57 > 0:13:58DOOR SLAMS
0:14:10 > 0:14:11I'm still here!
0:14:13 > 0:14:17If you want to have a laugh but also be physically sick,
0:14:17 > 0:14:19just watch Kerry's mum put her sandals on.
0:14:19 > 0:14:20It's disgusting.
0:14:22 > 0:14:23They're like two...
0:14:23 > 0:14:26Her feet are like two blocks of spam, yeah?
0:14:26 > 0:14:29And watching her trying to squeeze them into her Birkenstocks is...
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Get your mum to say tomato.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38- Oh, no, not now.- Please.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41- KERRY SIGHS - Please.
0:14:41 > 0:14:42Mum!
0:14:44 > 0:14:46What's in a BLT?
0:14:47 > 0:14:50A BLT.
0:14:51 > 0:14:52Yeah.
0:14:54 > 0:14:55Yeah.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Yeah, what else do you have?
0:15:03 > 0:15:06No, but what's the T stand for?
0:15:08 > 0:15:09Yeah.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15What?
0:15:17 > 0:15:18What?
0:15:24 > 0:15:27- I can't stop thinking about that monkey.- Yeah, same.
0:15:30 > 0:15:32That's the thing, though.
0:15:32 > 0:15:34They went through hundreds of them in the '60s.
0:15:37 > 0:15:42And now every time I see a really bright star in the sky I can't wish on it,
0:15:42 > 0:15:45cos in my head I'm thinking,
0:15:45 > 0:15:48"That's probably just a spacecraft with some monkey bones in it."
0:15:50 > 0:15:54Scientists, as well, taught this monkey once how to sign language
0:15:54 > 0:15:57and it took them six months,
0:15:57 > 0:16:01and after six months he finally figured out how to do it
0:16:01 > 0:16:06and all he could bang on about was how his kids had been left in the jungle.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19CAR DOOR CLOSES Is that Uncle Nugget now?
0:16:25 > 0:16:26No.
0:16:26 > 0:16:28Yeah, Nugget scares me sometimes.
0:16:28 > 0:16:29Actually, to be honest,
0:16:29 > 0:16:32don't tell Kerry this, but I don't really like him.
0:16:34 > 0:16:36He is...
0:16:36 > 0:16:37He terrifies me.
0:16:40 > 0:16:42And I don't really want him...
0:16:42 > 0:16:45coming out of prison, to be honest, cos he needs help.
0:16:45 > 0:16:47I don't think he's getting the right help he needs.
0:16:47 > 0:16:49And cos Kerry can't see it,
0:16:49 > 0:16:51whenever he's around we just end up at each other's throats.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Is there anything in there?
0:16:55 > 0:16:56No.
0:17:00 > 0:17:01What did you just take out?
0:17:01 > 0:17:02Nothing.
0:17:02 > 0:17:04I seen you just take something out.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06- No, I didn't.- Show me your hand.
0:17:06 > 0:17:08- The other one.- Hmm?- The other one.
0:17:08 > 0:17:10- What hand?- I just seen you take something out.
0:17:10 > 0:17:12- I'm just going to the toilet... - No.- Why?
0:17:12 > 0:17:13Open your hand.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15- Open it.- There's nothing in there.
0:17:15 > 0:17:16- Open it.- What...?
0:17:16 > 0:17:18KERRY GASPS
0:17:18 > 0:17:20A knob of cheese!
0:17:20 > 0:17:24You absolute traitor. That's my cheese - it's my fucking house.
0:17:24 > 0:17:25I wanted to grate...
0:17:25 > 0:17:28- Ow!- Sorry.
0:17:28 > 0:17:29What the actual fuck?
0:17:29 > 0:17:30- I'm hungry.- You...
0:17:30 > 0:17:32Aargh...
0:17:32 > 0:17:33- Ow!- Right, say sorry now.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Say sorry now.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37Say sorry now, and then I'll let go.
0:17:37 > 0:17:38- No.- Say sorry now and I'll let go.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40- Kerry, I'll go fucking apeshit. - Say sorry now.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43Say sorry now and then I'll let go.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46- Ow...- Say sorry. Say sorry. Say sorry.
0:17:46 > 0:17:47Say it.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49Sorry!
0:17:49 > 0:17:50(Absolute idiot.)
0:17:54 > 0:17:56- You wouldn't dare.- Yeah, I would. - You would not dare.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- Of course I would. - You eat that, right...
0:17:59 > 0:18:00- You eat that...- You wouldn't.
0:18:00 > 0:18:02You wouldn't throw that.
0:18:02 > 0:18:03- I would.- No, you wouldn't.- I would.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05Don't you dare eat that cheese.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08You eat that and I will smash this.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10I promise you, I will smash you with this.
0:18:13 > 0:18:14SHE GASPS
0:18:19 > 0:18:20What the fuck?
0:18:20 > 0:18:22Truce.
0:18:23 > 0:18:26- Truce, truce.- You've lost your head. - I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Fuck! You switched them!
0:18:31 > 0:18:32Did I?
0:18:35 > 0:18:37Nothing!
0:18:37 > 0:18:39- Perfect!- What the...?
0:18:39 > 0:18:40No!
0:18:45 > 0:18:46How has that happened?
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Seriously!
0:18:48 > 0:18:50I put it on the top shelf so it would cook evenly!
0:18:50 > 0:18:52It did. It's just cooked evenly burnt.
0:18:52 > 0:18:56Yeah, I can see it's fucking burnt, Sherlock.
0:18:56 > 0:18:58I fucking don't believe that!
0:19:04 > 0:19:05Do you want a turkey dinosaur?
0:19:07 > 0:19:08Can I?
0:19:08 > 0:19:09No.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:19:15 > 0:19:16Hello?
0:19:17 > 0:19:19Yeah.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21All right.
0:19:21 > 0:19:22Yeah, see you in a bit.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25Is that Uncle Nugget?
0:19:25 > 0:19:26No, it's my nan.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28- My tea's ready. - Well, what about Uncle Nugget?
0:19:28 > 0:19:29Oh, I'll just see him later.
0:19:29 > 0:19:32And this. You've got to help me clear up all this.
0:19:32 > 0:19:33Fuck that.
0:19:33 > 0:19:34See you.
0:19:36 > 0:19:38Well, it's his loss cos he's just going to miss out on
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Uncle Nugget time.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44I can't wait to see Uncle Nugget.
0:19:44 > 0:19:46He is such a laugh.
0:19:48 > 0:19:51He is going to make such great TV, I tell you that now.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57Can't wait.