0:00:02 > 0:00:04This programme contains some strong language
0:00:12 > 0:00:13'I tell you what, Kerry,
0:00:13 > 0:00:16'there are some days I wish you'd never been born, and... '
0:00:16 > 0:00:18Basically, Kerry's mum
0:00:18 > 0:00:19got a massive electricity bill
0:00:19 > 0:00:22and she reckons it's cos of Kerry's PlayStation.
0:00:22 > 0:00:25So she's threatening to give it away to the Ethiopians.
0:00:25 > 0:00:26Oh, fuck off!
0:00:26 > 0:00:29What are they going to do with a PlayStation? Eat it?!
0:00:42 > 0:00:46Yeah, well, why don't you get a job as a Meatloaf tribute act?
0:00:46 > 0:00:47Oh!
0:00:47 > 0:00:49That's who she looks like!
0:00:50 > 0:00:51Fuck.
0:00:53 > 0:00:55That's your PlayStation she just smashed.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01I saw that can of Tango you dumped on the corner...
0:01:01 > 0:01:04- Oh, shut up.- Shut up, then.
0:01:04 > 0:01:06- Go home, mate.- ..disgusting.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09'Yes, sadly, there aren't a lot of job opportunities
0:01:09 > 0:01:11'for young people in the village.'
0:01:11 > 0:01:14Kerry and Kurtan, neither of them have worked since leaving
0:01:14 > 0:01:18school, which means they've got a lot of time on their hands.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20Which is definitely not a good thing.
0:01:20 > 0:01:23Change your fucking trousers, mate. They stink.
0:01:23 > 0:01:24That's charming.
0:01:24 > 0:01:25THEY SNIGGER
0:01:38 > 0:01:41So, basically, there's a talk in the village hall today, with this
0:01:41 > 0:01:43really strong businesswoman called Shaz.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47And she's going to teach me how to make an absolute shitload.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49It was wanted by a poltergeist.
0:01:49 > 0:01:50I'm going to be just so rich.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54I'm going to build a helipad on top of my mum's house and land on it
0:01:54 > 0:01:55in a little copter.
0:01:55 > 0:01:57And then I'm going to say to my mum,
0:01:57 > 0:01:59"Oh, hi, Mum. How are you doing?"
0:01:59 > 0:02:02And she'll be like, "Oh, Kerry, I'm so sad.
0:02:02 > 0:02:04"I...I'm so sad what I did to you.
0:02:04 > 0:02:06"It was so disgusting and I'm such a vile pig."
0:02:06 > 0:02:09And I'll be like, "I'm so sorry, but I can't have this conversation,
0:02:09 > 0:02:12"cos I've got to go on Dragons' Den,
0:02:12 > 0:02:14"cos we're filming it in five minutes."
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Will I be there?
0:02:17 > 0:02:18Yeah.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20What we going to do on it?
0:02:20 > 0:02:21No, we're the, we're the judges.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25We'll be sat on a seat, like, with Deborah Meaden and that.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27My life did not get off to the best of starts.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30I was a single mother with no qualifications,
0:02:30 > 0:02:33no job and struggling to make ends meet.
0:02:33 > 0:02:35And then, one day, I caught myself looking at
0:02:35 > 0:02:38a reflection of myself and I said,
0:02:38 > 0:02:40"What is up with you, Shaz?
0:02:40 > 0:02:42- "You used to be so bubbly..." - Oh... Kerr?- Yeah?
0:02:42 > 0:02:43- She keeps guffing.- Who?
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Her - farty pants.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48- Shh!- ..I had a sachet of that stuff and I never looked back.
0:02:48 > 0:02:51So I said, hang about, let me get this straight - if I become
0:02:51 > 0:02:55an Eternal Vitality sales rep, I can earn £15,000 a month?
0:02:55 > 0:02:58- I can work from home, I can be my own boss...- This is just quite boring isn't it, Kerry?
0:02:58 > 0:03:00- ..and the start-up pack's only £200...- Kerr?- What?
0:03:00 > 0:03:03- Boring, isn't it?- No, it's not.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06All of your dreams, guys, can come true.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11Just as long as you've got that £200 start-up fee, OK?
0:03:11 > 0:03:12Yes?
0:03:12 > 0:03:14What if you don't have the 200 quid, though, Miss?
0:03:14 > 0:03:15Miss!
0:03:15 > 0:03:17Yeah, that's a very, very good question.
0:03:17 > 0:03:18What's your name, darling?
0:03:18 > 0:03:20- Kerry.- Hi, Kerry.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23What if I was to say to you, darling,
0:03:23 > 0:03:25"You're dying, Kerry, and the tablets you need
0:03:25 > 0:03:27"to stop you from dying are going to cost you £200."
0:03:27 > 0:03:29What would you do then? Hmm?
0:03:29 > 0:03:32You'd beg. You'd steal. You'd borrow.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35You'd find that money. Next question, please. Yes?
0:03:35 > 0:03:38I did a similar thing selling Tupperware, and it turned out
0:03:38 > 0:03:39to be a pyramid scheme.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42OK, no, no, no, no, no. Bless you.
0:03:42 > 0:03:44This is not a pyramid scheme, OK?
0:03:44 > 0:03:46This is a multi-level management scheme -
0:03:46 > 0:03:49two very different things, as you can see here, in the slide.
0:03:51 > 0:03:53- Multilevel management... - You just got owned.
0:03:53 > 0:03:55..all coming together to form one legal scheme.
0:03:55 > 0:03:57Is that clearer for you?
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Er, so Kerry's just asking Shaz ways of how we can raise up
0:04:01 > 0:04:02the money for the start-up pack.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04Very rude man!
0:04:05 > 0:04:06Very rude!
0:04:09 > 0:04:10What?
0:04:10 > 0:04:13How was I being rude then?
0:04:13 > 0:04:15- I wasn't being rude, was I? - Right, come on.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18You would not believe what June just did to me then, what just happened.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21She just came up to me, jabbing her finger in my face, going,
0:04:21 > 0:04:23"Very rude man", like that.
0:04:23 > 0:04:26So, right, Shaz has given us loads of ideas of what we
0:04:26 > 0:04:30- need to do, so we really need to start cracking on with it now. - All I've ever been is nice to her!
0:04:30 > 0:04:31Daft cow.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37Shaz told me, to raise the start-up fee money, we should just
0:04:37 > 0:04:41flog all our old shit, which is exactly what we're doing.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44I reckon we'll make that 200 quid in about half hour.
0:04:59 > 0:05:00Oh, Warhammer.
0:05:02 > 0:05:03Go on, rummage through.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05I wondered...how much...?
0:05:05 > 0:05:07Standard-bearer. Er...
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Yeah?
0:05:09 > 0:05:12Don't know, really. I suppose the Snotlings will all come together.
0:05:12 > 0:05:16As you can probably tell, I went through a serious Snotling phase.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18And there's a few chaos bugs in there as well.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22- So I've got my orcs here, yeah? - Yeah.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24- Wastelands are there.- Yeah.
0:05:24 > 0:05:25And we're heading straight for them.
0:05:25 > 0:05:28No. See, you can't use orcs to seize the wastelands.
0:05:28 > 0:05:29It's practically suicide.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31Oh, my God, can you lot just shut up?
0:05:31 > 0:05:33Honestly, it's embarrassing.
0:05:34 > 0:05:36Kurtan is a fucking nerd.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39About three years ago, he started his own Emmerdale blog
0:05:39 > 0:05:41where he picks apart all the production gaffes.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43And he's got a chart on the wall,
0:05:43 > 0:05:47which he ticks off every time he sees a reflection of a boom.
0:05:48 > 0:05:52And I honestly am ashamed to know him, sometimes.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56Do you know what? It's been an absolute, utter pleasure meeting you two gents today.
0:06:03 > 0:06:06Well, because Deputy Dickhead over here didn't want to sell his Star Wars...
0:06:06 > 0:06:09- Warhammer.- ..the yard sale was an utter disaster.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12But Shaz said money trees don't grow on trees.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13You've got to buy the money tree.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15And if you can't afford to buy a money tree,
0:06:15 > 0:06:17you just borrow off someone else's money tree.
0:06:17 > 0:06:19- So you've got a money tree loan out. - Yeah.
0:06:19 > 0:06:21But I'm going to be making 15 grand a month, basic,
0:06:21 > 0:06:23so I'll be laughing.
0:06:23 > 0:06:25Yes, the interest rate on that loan is very high,
0:06:25 > 0:06:27but my overheads are low, see?
0:06:27 > 0:06:30Because I'm working out of my mum's shed,
0:06:30 > 0:06:33and I have zero staff costs, because I'm not going to be paying Kurtan.
0:06:33 > 0:06:35But don't tell him that.
0:06:37 > 0:06:38Oh...
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Can't wait to try this one, Kerr -
0:06:40 > 0:06:41apple and wheatgrass.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Look at how good this looks, Kerr.
0:06:45 > 0:06:48- This'll be so good for me, innit? - Yeah.- This sweet nectar.
0:06:53 > 0:06:54How is it? KURTAN GAGS
0:06:58 > 0:06:59You all right?
0:06:59 > 0:07:00Yeah.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Just, I could really taste the grass.
0:07:05 > 0:07:07- I feel better already. - Do you? Really?- Yeah, it's weird.
0:07:07 > 0:07:09- Do you really?- Yeah.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12- In what way? - Does my skin look any different?
0:07:12 > 0:07:15- It's...- Glowing?- Yeah, it's glowing a bit more, yeah.- Is it glowing?
0:07:17 > 0:07:19I... That's enough now.
0:07:19 > 0:07:21That's enough.
0:07:21 > 0:07:22Right, have you learned the script?
0:07:22 > 0:07:24What script?
0:07:24 > 0:07:25Are you joking? You are joking, right?
0:07:25 > 0:07:29- Yeah.- The script I gave you. Right, OK. Well, read it to me now.
0:07:29 > 0:07:30Hello.
0:07:30 > 0:07:31Hello what?
0:07:31 > 0:07:33- Sir.- You haven't learned it, have you?
0:07:33 > 0:07:34- No. - KERRY SIGHS
0:07:35 > 0:07:38My attitude towards business is sell, sell, sell.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40If you knock on someone's door, this is what Shaz told me,
0:07:40 > 0:07:42don't take no for an answer.
0:07:42 > 0:07:43Get into their house.
0:07:43 > 0:07:46If they say, "Leave my house", stay.
0:07:46 > 0:07:47And if they say, "I'm going to call the police",
0:07:47 > 0:07:51you walk upstairs and see if there's anybody else upstairs to sell to.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53What do I make of Kerry the businesswoman?
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Have you seen the state of her?
0:07:56 > 0:07:59What does she think she looks like in that suit, honestly?
0:07:59 > 0:08:01She looks like Uncle Fester.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04I take one look in the mirror in this suit
0:08:04 > 0:08:06and I feel proud.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08I used to just dressed in rags.
0:08:08 > 0:08:11Now I really feel like I've made it.
0:08:11 > 0:08:14Can't see her neck. Where's her neck gone?
0:08:18 > 0:08:22Hello, madam. Me and my colleague here, from Eternal Vitality...
0:08:25 > 0:08:27- Right. I'm going to piss in their flowers, then.- No, come on.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40What are you two after?
0:08:40 > 0:08:41Hello, sir.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44Me and my colleague here are from Eternal Vitality Juicing -
0:08:44 > 0:08:47a company that offers a wide range of health boosting juices -
0:08:47 > 0:08:51and just wondered if we could borrow a few minutes of your time.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Year, I've got a few minutes.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56Eternal Vitality juices slowly release vitamins throughout
0:08:56 > 0:09:00your body all day, giving you extra energy...
0:09:00 > 0:09:03And then me wife died on the Thursday.
0:09:03 > 0:09:04(Oh, God.)
0:09:04 > 0:09:06And me brother died on the Saturday.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12And then, me stepson rang me up, and he said, "Dad,
0:09:12 > 0:09:13"I've found a lump."
0:09:14 > 0:09:16So that was him gone.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18Grandson dead, stepdaughter dead,
0:09:18 > 0:09:21and that bastard only got three years and a slap on the wrist.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Oh, OK, well, thank you so much for your time,
0:09:23 > 0:09:26- and we're really sorry that... - And then they rung up from the hospital, and they said,
0:09:26 > 0:09:29"Could you get down here now,
0:09:29 > 0:09:33"cos they're draining the fluid out your sister's spine?"
0:09:33 > 0:09:35"Heart disease", he said.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38And I never smoked a single fag in me life.
0:09:38 > 0:09:39Kurtan...
0:09:39 > 0:09:42And the doctor, he just shrugged at me like this, look.
0:09:43 > 0:09:44Aye, like this.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46- Yeah.- He just shrugged.
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Sorry, are you going to actually buy something today?
0:09:49 > 0:09:53- Eh?- Are you going to buy something today?
0:09:53 > 0:09:54God, no.
0:09:54 > 0:09:56OK...
0:09:56 > 0:09:59Thank you very much for your time.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01That's all right.
0:10:01 > 0:10:03Enjoyed it.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05- See you.- Bye.
0:10:08 > 0:10:11So, I've let Kurtan take the lead on this one,
0:10:11 > 0:10:13because, basically, he's just not engaging enough.
0:10:13 > 0:10:17And he needs to build up his confidence, because, honestly,
0:10:17 > 0:10:20I'd be better off carrying around a sad sack of shite with me.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36How long do you reckon he's been in there for?
0:10:37 > 0:10:39Must be like 20 minutes.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41I reckon he's selling loads.
0:10:50 > 0:10:52Hello?
0:10:52 > 0:10:53Hello?
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Hello, Kurtan?
0:10:57 > 0:10:59Do you need any more stock?
0:10:59 > 0:11:01- Kurtan?- Four, five, six...
0:11:01 > 0:11:02Oh...
0:11:02 > 0:11:03Forgot you was outside.
0:11:03 > 0:11:05Utterly unprofessional!
0:11:05 > 0:11:06Seriously!
0:11:11 > 0:11:13- It's your go, innit? - Yeah, it's your go.- Yeah.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16My guide to managing a team is pretty simple, really.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18Make the underlings...
0:11:18 > 0:11:20feel like shit, because
0:11:20 > 0:11:21you're the big boss.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Take up the space.
0:11:23 > 0:11:25It's like a bull in a field.
0:11:25 > 0:11:26There can't be too many bulls,
0:11:26 > 0:11:28because they'll ruin it.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32Look, if you don't want to be involved in this business,
0:11:32 > 0:11:35then, seriously, just don't be involved.
0:11:35 > 0:11:36Is that all right?
0:11:36 > 0:11:38The fuck, Kurtan?!
0:11:38 > 0:11:39Seriously!
0:11:39 > 0:11:41- I thought we were doing this together!- It's just...
0:11:41 > 0:11:43Thing is, OK, it's just so much effort.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46Yeah, cos you're not pulling your weight, to be honest.
0:11:46 > 0:11:47That's why it's so much effort. PHONE RINGS
0:11:47 > 0:11:49It's actually more effort for me...
0:11:49 > 0:11:50And we're in a business meeting -
0:11:50 > 0:11:53why do you think it's OK to get your phone out? Who is that?
0:11:53 > 0:11:54No-one.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56- What did they say that's so funny, then?- You wouldn't get it.
0:11:56 > 0:11:58- I would get it.- You wouldn't. - I would get it.
0:11:58 > 0:11:59All right, then. He said,
0:11:59 > 0:12:03"That awkward moment when an Orc lord asks you for a clack handle."
0:12:03 > 0:12:05You don't get it, do you?
0:12:05 > 0:12:08Right. I want these delivered...
0:12:08 > 0:12:11to every house in the village, tonight.
0:12:11 > 0:12:12I mean it.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15And stop with the attitude as well.
0:12:15 > 0:12:18Thing is, I don't know what you actually do.
0:12:22 > 0:12:23Business.
0:12:30 > 0:12:31I've really...
0:12:32 > 0:12:33..really had it today.
0:12:38 > 0:12:39And she was like,
0:12:39 > 0:12:41"Oh, you've got to hand out all these leaflets by tonight."
0:12:41 > 0:12:43And I was like, "Whatever, Orc-slammer.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46- Kiss my arse. - Oh, my God, you can't do that!
0:12:46 > 0:12:47- Mental!- Can do what I want.
0:12:47 > 0:12:48Watch this, then.
0:12:55 > 0:12:56BOY LAUGHS
0:12:56 > 0:12:58Parkour.
0:12:59 > 0:13:00I can't do that.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06Yeah, it's nice having new mates, to be honest.
0:13:06 > 0:13:09Not being bossed around by Baron Greenback.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11It's great, as well, cos they're proper lads.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13And, honestly, when we lot get together,
0:13:13 > 0:13:15we are proper mad bastards.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21Oh, my God! Did you see the look on the vicar's face then?
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- He was livid, wasn't he? - Yeah, he was livid.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26That was madness, man. That was...
0:13:26 > 0:13:28He was fuming!
0:13:28 > 0:13:30When I see them three together,
0:13:30 > 0:13:32I think...
0:13:32 > 0:13:34we could have another Columbine on our hands.
0:13:34 > 0:13:36And that's very scary.
0:13:36 > 0:13:39Look at the clouds - look how mad they are!
0:13:39 > 0:13:40They're crazy.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43Don't you just think sometimes - you look at the clouds and you just think...
0:13:43 > 0:13:45Sometimes you look at the sky and you think
0:13:45 > 0:13:49- how insignificant that all is. - Yeah.
0:13:49 > 0:13:50Yeah, do this.
0:13:50 > 0:13:52Put your hands like that.
0:13:52 > 0:13:54Yeah, open them up, look inside.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58- That's what they actually look like.- Ugh...
0:13:58 > 0:14:02Look at this stupid bloke here. Look at him.
0:14:02 > 0:14:03Look how stupid he is.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Do you reckon he saw that?
0:14:10 > 0:14:11He's coming out!
0:14:13 > 0:14:14He's coming! He's coming!
0:14:18 > 0:14:19Yeah, he's not coming.
0:14:19 > 0:14:21He was going to, though.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23He was livid, wasn't he?
0:14:23 > 0:14:25Yeah, he was.
0:14:25 > 0:14:26KURTAN SIGHS
0:14:31 > 0:14:34Yeah, I was supposed to be delivering leaflets for Kerry,
0:14:34 > 0:14:35but fuck it.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38I ain't running round for her like a blue-arsed fly no more.
0:14:38 > 0:14:40And, anyway, she's promoted Levi above me now.
0:14:40 > 0:14:41And he's only ten.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45And he can't sleep without a night-light.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49So, how'd it go last night?
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Yeah, pretty good.
0:14:51 > 0:14:54Er, delivered all the leaflets round all the houses.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Even went down Charlie Bottom Farm,
0:14:56 > 0:14:58which was quite a trek, but I don't mind.
0:14:58 > 0:14:59Erm...
0:14:59 > 0:15:02Yeah, it's actually quite surprising how many houses
0:15:02 > 0:15:04are in this village, as well.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06But, no - it was great, all in all.
0:15:06 > 0:15:10Levi, get them pictures up on your phone.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12500 leaflets,
0:15:12 > 0:15:13just dumped in the stream.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17- Have you been here all night?- Yeah.
0:15:17 > 0:15:18You really need to go home.
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Your mum's called the police and everything.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22- Are you serious?- Yeah.
0:15:22 > 0:15:23OK, go home now.
0:15:23 > 0:15:26But, if anyone asks, you fell asleep by accident, OK?
0:15:26 > 0:15:27Go home, now.
0:15:28 > 0:15:29KERRY SIGHS
0:15:30 > 0:15:33- What was he doing here all night? - Filing.
0:15:33 > 0:15:35Do you think I'm going to get in trouble?
0:15:35 > 0:15:37- Are those debt letters?- No.
0:15:37 > 0:15:39And you're fired, by the way.
0:15:39 > 0:15:43- What?- And you're also fired from being my best mate, by the way.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Well, I have new mates anyway, by the way.
0:15:45 > 0:15:46Oh, what - the nerds?
0:15:46 > 0:15:49No. They're not nerds. They have names like human beings, actually.
0:15:49 > 0:15:51Oh, yeah? What are their names, then?
0:15:51 > 0:15:52- HE MUMBLES:- Count Fartula and Weak Nathan.
0:15:52 > 0:15:55- Sorry, I couldn't quite hear that. - Count Fartula and Weak Nathan.
0:15:55 > 0:15:57They're honestly not nerds, though.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59They're just my mates, they look up to me.
0:15:59 > 0:16:02What, so that makes you king of the nerds?
0:16:04 > 0:16:07Do you know what, yeah? You're just a bully.
0:16:07 > 0:16:10And you've been conned in some shitty little pyramid scheme.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Well, it's a multilevel management scheme, so get it right.
0:16:13 > 0:16:16- And the juice tastes like ass. - No, it doesn't.- Yes, it does.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17- No, it doesn't. - Drink some now, then.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19No, because I'm not thirsty, so what's the point?
0:16:19 > 0:16:21- That's cos you know it tastes like ass.- No.
0:16:21 > 0:16:23It is! Drink some now.
0:16:23 > 0:16:25If you believe in this business so much, yeah, you drink some.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28- I don't mind drinking it. It doesn't bother me.- Excellent.
0:16:28 > 0:16:29Now, have some now.
0:16:35 > 0:16:36Swallow.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Tastes like ass, doesn't it?
0:16:48 > 0:16:50Bleurgh!
0:16:50 > 0:16:52That's all I wanted. I'll see you later.
0:16:53 > 0:16:55Embarrassment, you are.
0:16:55 > 0:16:57Bleurgh!
0:16:59 > 0:17:01Bleurgh!
0:17:02 > 0:17:06'In business, there will always be setbacks.'
0:17:07 > 0:17:09I don't drink my own juice,
0:17:09 > 0:17:11Fray Bentos doesn't eat his own pies.
0:17:13 > 0:17:14But that's business.
0:17:21 > 0:17:22Yes!
0:17:22 > 0:17:24'I'm not assed about being fired.
0:17:24 > 0:17:25'Gives me more time playing Warhammer.'
0:17:25 > 0:17:29Having said that, the lads are getting a bit annoying now.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32Since when have you had the Forbidden Forest?
0:17:32 > 0:17:35Since I bought it off the Troll King in the last round. Please keep up.
0:17:35 > 0:17:36Oh, my God...
0:17:37 > 0:17:39They just love playing by the rules.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Sort of sucks the fun out of everything.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44Do you know what, I don't actually want to play this any more,
0:17:44 > 0:17:46because it is actually very, very boring.
0:17:48 > 0:17:50Erm, hello, Shaz.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53Erm, I've left you a few messages before.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57This is Kerry from the Cotswold area...
0:17:57 > 0:18:01'So Shaz's phone ain't working, which is a bit weird,'
0:18:01 > 0:18:03because all I wanted to do is ask her
0:18:03 > 0:18:05how she makes any money from these juices,
0:18:05 > 0:18:08because, at the moment, I'm losing money
0:18:08 > 0:18:11and I can't shift these juices to man nor beast.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22Kurtan, what shall we do now?
0:18:22 > 0:18:24I don't know. But which one of you is breathing so loudly?
0:18:24 > 0:18:26Because I can't hear myself think.
0:18:26 > 0:18:28Sorry, that would be me.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30What you saying sorry for?
0:18:30 > 0:18:33Why can't you stick up for yourself, both of you?
0:18:33 > 0:18:34- BOTH:- Sorry.
0:18:36 > 0:18:37Do you know what?
0:18:37 > 0:18:40I think I'm just going to go for a bit, and just chill out.
0:18:47 > 0:18:48On my own, yeah?
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Seriously, what you doing? Why you following me?
0:19:12 > 0:19:15Fuckin' hell, what was I thinking?
0:19:15 > 0:19:17They are massive, massive nerds.
0:19:18 > 0:19:20Staggering.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22I'm ashamed of myself, that's not usually me,
0:19:22 > 0:19:24so don't get the wrong impression.
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Normally, I'm beating those sort of kids up.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33KERRY SNIFFS
0:19:34 > 0:19:36- All right?- Yeah.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37PHONE VIBRATES
0:19:41 > 0:19:43SHE HANGS UP
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Who was that?
0:19:48 > 0:19:50No-one.
0:19:50 > 0:19:51Monetary loans?
0:19:54 > 0:19:55You been crying?
0:19:57 > 0:19:58Yeah.
0:20:02 > 0:20:04How was your mates?
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Not mates with them any more.
0:20:08 > 0:20:09Why not?
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Cos they're nerds.
0:20:11 > 0:20:12- I did say.- I know.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16- I genuinely think one of them fancies me as well.- Really?- Yeah.
0:20:16 > 0:20:20- Look, I think I know how we can pay your loan off.- Yeah?- Yeah.
0:20:22 > 0:20:23Cos that would be really great.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Honestly, it'll be fine.
0:20:28 > 0:20:30A Snotling Pump Wagon,
0:20:30 > 0:20:3224 Lizardmen,
0:20:32 > 0:20:3332 Orc hammers
0:20:33 > 0:20:35and an entire Orc industrial army.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38'So, Kurtan very kindly offered
0:20:38 > 0:20:40'to sell his Warhammer.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42'Unfortunately it was worth fuck-all,'
0:20:42 > 0:20:45but it's fine, because I've got it all sorted out,
0:20:45 > 0:20:47cos I've got out a loan to repay the first loan
0:20:47 > 0:20:49and to also buy a PlayStation.
0:20:49 > 0:20:52And if I fall behind on the repayments of that,
0:20:52 > 0:20:55I just get out another loan, and so forth and so forth.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58It's working the system.