0:00:02 > 0:00:06This programme contains strong language
0:00:14 > 0:00:16You see this house here?
0:00:16 > 0:00:18There.
0:00:18 > 0:00:20The bloke that used to live in there, right,
0:00:20 > 0:00:23kept hearing strange noises coming out of his attic at night.
0:00:23 > 0:00:24And he'd go to the fridge
0:00:24 > 0:00:27and find that food was missing from the fridge.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30So he thought, "I'm just going to go up to the attic and check this out."
0:00:30 > 0:00:32And he found an entire family of Peruvian panpipe buskers
0:00:32 > 0:00:33just living up there.
0:00:33 > 0:00:36And he thought, "I'm just going to leave them to it,
0:00:36 > 0:00:37"cos they're not really doing me any harm."
0:00:37 > 0:00:40And then, a few years later, he thought,
0:00:40 > 0:00:42"Well, I'll just go up to the attic to check on them.
0:00:42 > 0:00:44"See if they're all right."
0:00:44 > 0:00:46And it turned out they'd all died of asbestos poisoning.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Yeah, he doesn't live there any more.
0:00:54 > 0:00:57He lives in Stroud, cos it's closer to his work.
0:01:02 > 0:01:03Loads has happened, hasn't it?
0:01:03 > 0:01:06- Loads has happened since you've last been here.- You missed so much.- Er...
0:01:06 > 0:01:08- You missed the duck race. - The duck race.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12- Vicar fucked that one up, didn't he? - Absolutely fucked it.- Fucking hell.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Kurtan's got a new girlfriend, haven't you?
0:01:14 > 0:01:15Yeah, I have, actually.
0:01:15 > 0:01:17Called Sophie Elizabeth Huxley.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19But I call her Soph.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Yeah, and she also lets me call her Soph, as well, doesn't she?
0:01:21 > 0:01:22Yeah, she does.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27Well, I was on Tinder for a bit.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31- But I wasn't getting any matches, so...- You didn't get one match.
0:01:31 > 0:01:32- Yeah.- Not one match.
0:01:32 > 0:01:34That's only cos no-one round here is on Tinder,
0:01:34 > 0:01:37so, you know, I had to keep setting my radius further and further
0:01:37 > 0:01:40and further, then the radius got to France.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42And it just got silly by the end. You know.
0:01:42 > 0:01:44I can't afford to be going back and forth on the tunnel
0:01:44 > 0:01:47every other weekend to take some French frog out bowling.
0:01:47 > 0:01:49- No way.- You know...
0:01:49 > 0:01:53So, then, one evening, I was on Facebook and it popped up,
0:01:53 > 0:01:54"People you might know."
0:01:54 > 0:01:57Yeah, so he messaged every girl on there, saying,
0:01:57 > 0:02:00"Hey, what is your spirit animal?"
0:02:00 > 0:02:02- Icebreaker.- Icebreaker.
0:02:02 > 0:02:05And then Soph was actually the first one to reply, saying,
0:02:05 > 0:02:07"Giraffe, what about you?"
0:02:07 > 0:02:11And I said, "Whatever animal has sex with a giraffe."
0:02:11 > 0:02:13- And she found it a laugh.- Yeah.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16A lot of girls don't find that a laugh, though.
0:02:16 > 0:02:18Especially if their spirit animal
0:02:18 > 0:02:20- was a hamster or their dead nan.- Yeah.
0:02:22 > 0:02:25I just decided to sack off college altogether, in the end.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27Especially now I got Soph.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29To be honest, didn't really want to go in the first place,
0:02:29 > 0:02:32but the vicar was just trying to push me into it.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Basically, just trying to live his dream to me.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36Anyway, he's latched onto Kerry now.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38And he's leeching the life out of her.
0:02:38 > 0:02:40She can't see how toxic he is.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42So, the trick is to just get the trowel in like that.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45- VOICEOVER:- It's been an interesting few months, actually.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48I've been spending a lot more time with Kerry, which is great.
0:02:48 > 0:02:52She's come on leaps and bounds, with regard to her outlook on life.
0:02:52 > 0:02:55Oh, who's been nicking after them runners?
0:02:56 > 0:02:59They're absolutely fucked. Sorry for saying...
0:03:00 > 0:03:03Cos I've changed massively since you've been here last.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05Cos I've reformed myself.
0:03:05 > 0:03:07Cos I've been hanging out with the vicar and that,
0:03:07 > 0:03:09and he's sort of taught me the way of the world.
0:03:09 > 0:03:11Like, how to be kind to others
0:03:11 > 0:03:15and treat people the way I always want to be treated.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18- This is marvellous. - It's lovely, isn't it?
0:03:18 > 0:03:19Some people will always be scared of me,
0:03:19 > 0:03:23and I can't change that, no matter how nice I am.
0:03:23 > 0:03:26But there is a balance to be had between being nice and being feared.
0:03:26 > 0:03:30Like, Dr Barnardo, he was just too nice and not feared.
0:03:30 > 0:03:33So he just got overrun by orphans and everyone just took the piss.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38- Yes!- Yes, that's what I'm talking about!
0:03:39 > 0:03:41- Just a bit less power, now. - Well, exactly.
0:03:43 > 0:03:45If I meet it in the middle, then I'll get there.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48- What's this?- Oh, all right?
0:03:48 > 0:03:51- We're just playing a bit of golf. - Why?
0:03:51 > 0:03:52Cos it's fun.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54That was mental, though, wasn't it?
0:03:54 > 0:03:56That was very good, indeed.
0:03:56 > 0:03:58Kurtan, it's so good to see you!
0:04:00 > 0:04:02Vicar, Sophie, Sophie, vicar.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Hi, Sophie, lovely to meet you at last.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06It's lovely to meet you, too, Vicar.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08So, how are you?
0:04:08 > 0:04:10- Good.- Yeah, pretty good.
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Probably the best I've been in a long time...
0:04:13 > 0:04:15- Look at that! Look at that! - That's brilliant.
0:04:15 > 0:04:16I'm so happy for you both.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20- Kurtan's all was going on about you, Vicar.- No, is he?
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- That's not...- You know, Kurtan, you can pop in any time
0:04:23 > 0:04:25to see me for a cup of tea and a catch-up.
0:04:25 > 0:04:29- Don't really like tea. - Well, just a catch up, then.
0:04:30 > 0:04:32Don't really like catching up. It's not my thing.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36Well, I'm running Secret Cinema Club on Thursday,
0:04:36 > 0:04:38if you two wanted to come.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41- We're doing Grease. It should be fun.- Oh, I love Grease.- Oh, so do I.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43That's my favourite... Yeah, we'd love to.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Oh, would you? That would be great. Well, you should definitely come.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- Yeah, we will.- Yeah, fine. Whatever.
0:04:49 > 0:04:51- Great!- All right. Yeah. - So nice to meet you.
0:04:51 > 0:04:52And you, Sophie. That's great.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55But if you want to pop in before then, Kurtan, you know where I am.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Yeah.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00- Sticking your nose in everyone's business.- But he seems really nice!
0:05:00 > 0:05:03Yeah, cos he's a sociopath. That's what they all want you to think.
0:05:03 > 0:05:04It's all just an act.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12I just watched this video
0:05:12 > 0:05:14of this girl doing a random act of kindness on YouTube.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17She basically paid for this old man's shopping at the till.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20And this old man was, like, about 90 years old.
0:05:20 > 0:05:23And he's so fucking old, like, you could see through his skin.
0:05:23 > 0:05:27And he just starts bawling his eyes out.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31He's like, "You're fucking joking me, this ain't fucking real life."
0:05:31 > 0:05:34I just thought, I want to make someone feel like that.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Cos that's...I really... That's what I want to do.
0:05:37 > 0:05:38What?
0:05:39 > 0:05:40What?
0:05:44 > 0:05:45As a random act of kindness.
0:05:47 > 0:05:49As a random act of kindness.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01I don't know what she's talking about.
0:06:01 > 0:06:03Cos I do wipe my arse properly.
0:06:04 > 0:06:05OK?
0:06:12 > 0:06:13No, listen.
0:06:13 > 0:06:16Right, if I turn my phone off, right, Soph,
0:06:16 > 0:06:19that means I don't want to talk to anyone. Not just you.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22Yeah, I just want a bit of Kurtan time.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24You know. What's wrong with that?
0:06:25 > 0:06:28Ugh! Yeah, OK, fine, then.
0:06:28 > 0:06:29Whatever.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31Yeah. Bye.
0:06:31 > 0:06:32Fucking hell.
0:06:34 > 0:06:35Can't believe that.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38So I turned my phone off, right, for literally, like, two days.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40She's going absolutely mental about it.
0:06:40 > 0:06:43Going, "Oh, I thought you were dead. I was going to call the police."
0:06:43 > 0:06:46I'm not dead. Just can't be arsed to text her sometimes.
0:06:47 > 0:06:49You know. Is that such a crime?
0:06:50 > 0:06:54Problem is, when we first started dating, I set the bar too high.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Cos I was just texting her the whole time,
0:06:56 > 0:06:58but that was because I wanted to reel her in.
0:06:58 > 0:06:59But now the fish is in the net,
0:06:59 > 0:07:01I ain't going to keep throwing worms at it.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03Cos that's a waste of worms.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05You know, correct me if I'm wrong,
0:07:05 > 0:07:08but four texts a day is complete madness.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10No-one can keep up with that.
0:07:10 > 0:07:11Not even Giffgaff.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17So, Slugs updated his Facebook status this morning,
0:07:17 > 0:07:21saying how his PlayStation broke and how gutted he was, and that.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24So I thought I'd do my very own random act of kindness for him.
0:07:24 > 0:07:29Because perhaps I have been quite harsh to him in the past. You know.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31I mean, he's not that annoying, it's just,
0:07:31 > 0:07:34he just needs to learn not to breathe out of his mouth.
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Cos that just winds everyone up.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42SHE MOUTHS
0:07:43 > 0:07:45Hello!
0:07:45 > 0:07:46Oh. Erm...
0:07:46 > 0:07:48Sorry, is Slugs in?
0:07:49 > 0:07:50Michael.
0:07:52 > 0:07:54Me and Michael have been going out for nearly a year.
0:07:54 > 0:07:56It's going well.
0:07:56 > 0:07:57Really well.
0:08:01 > 0:08:03- Hello.- Hi.
0:08:03 > 0:08:05So, I heard your PlayStation broke.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07- Yeah.- It's really sad.- Sucks, man.
0:08:07 > 0:08:12Really sucks. But I've got a little surprise for you.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14Because I know how harsh life has been to you.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Cos it has been really harsh, you know,
0:08:16 > 0:08:19and you deserve happiness just as much as the next man, don't you?
0:08:19 > 0:08:21- Yeah.- Yeah.
0:08:21 > 0:08:25Which is why, as a random act of kindness, I am giving you
0:08:25 > 0:08:27my PlayStation.
0:08:29 > 0:08:30Thanks.
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Hello. You happy with that? Yeah?
0:08:46 > 0:08:48- Yeah?- Yeah.- Yeah?
0:08:48 > 0:08:50- Yeah, thanks.- Yeah.
0:09:04 > 0:09:06Hello. Oh...
0:09:06 > 0:09:07Sorry, Slugs...
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Can I speak to Slugs, please?
0:09:10 > 0:09:11Michael?
0:09:28 > 0:09:29Is he coming?
0:09:29 > 0:09:32- He is?- Yeah.- He is coming? Right.
0:09:32 > 0:09:33OK.
0:09:37 > 0:09:38Hello.
0:09:40 > 0:09:41Hello.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44All right, so...
0:09:44 > 0:09:46- Is there a problem here?- With what?
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Well, just - I've just given you a PlayStation
0:09:48 > 0:09:51and it just doesn't feel like you're that grateful for it.
0:09:51 > 0:09:55- I am.- You are?- Yeah.- Really? Because it doesn't really feel like that.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58- That's the thing. At all.- It's a PS3.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Yeah. Because... I get...
0:10:00 > 0:10:03That's way I've given you my PS3, because it was broke,
0:10:03 > 0:10:06- that's the whole point of this whole thing.- No...
0:10:06 > 0:10:08My PS4 is broken.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10My PS3 is in the garage.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15Oh... I just... I'll just have it back.
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Sorry, Kayleigh, can you just pass me my PlayStation back?
0:10:18 > 0:10:20That would be absolutely great. Thank you very much.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23- Can I keep the controllers? - No, you can't keep the controllers,
0:10:23 > 0:10:25because, you know, it was a whole thing...
0:10:25 > 0:10:27- That's the whole point in...- Can I go now?
0:10:27 > 0:10:29I was going to give it to you... Yeah, whatever. Fine.
0:10:29 > 0:10:32Just eat your toast and breathe at the same time,
0:10:32 > 0:10:34like you usually do, because that is disgusting,
0:10:34 > 0:10:36and, you know, you have no manners.
0:10:36 > 0:10:37Fine.
0:10:40 > 0:10:43The fact is, you did something nice for someone.
0:10:43 > 0:10:44Am I doing something nice for someone?
0:10:44 > 0:10:46Because it doesn't really feel like it,
0:10:46 > 0:10:48because I'm not getting great feedback from it.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51But, but, Kerry, look, doing kind gestures for people
0:10:51 > 0:10:53is not about getting recognition,
0:10:53 > 0:10:55it's about doing kind things selflessly.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58- I am doing kind things selfishly. - No - selflessly.
0:11:00 > 0:11:03What does...selflessly mean?
0:11:03 > 0:11:07Well, it means you don't need people to be grateful
0:11:07 > 0:11:09for the kind things you do -
0:11:09 > 0:11:12you do it anyway, because it's the right thing to do.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Right...
0:11:17 > 0:11:21So, like, when you're at Tesco's, using the self-service checkouts,
0:11:21 > 0:11:23and the machine gives you your change,
0:11:23 > 0:11:25and it says, "Please take your change,"
0:11:25 > 0:11:26and you say, "Thank you,"
0:11:26 > 0:11:30and you know it can't hear you say thank you, because it's a robot,
0:11:30 > 0:11:33but you say thank you anyway, because it's the nice thing to do...
0:11:35 > 0:11:37- Um... Yes, well, sort of.- Yeah.- Yep.
0:11:38 > 0:11:41I get it. I get it, I get it, I get it, I get it.
0:11:41 > 0:11:42Cheers, thanks for that, Vics.
0:11:42 > 0:11:45- No problem.- Thank you. - Thank you, Kerry, bye.
0:11:47 > 0:11:48DOOR SHUTS
0:11:59 > 0:12:01There will be £4, please.
0:12:01 > 0:12:02There we go.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04Talking to the vicar really helped,
0:12:04 > 0:12:07so, I decided, as a random act of kindness,
0:12:07 > 0:12:10I'm going to do security for him at his Grease cinema night.
0:12:13 > 0:12:14All right Kate, you're all good.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17If you'd like to go on through, just up and on the right, OK?
0:12:17 > 0:12:19- Kerry, what are you doing? - Checking for knives and shit.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21I really don't think that's necessary.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23It is, if my enemies know I'm here.
0:12:23 > 0:12:25I was at midnight Mass one year, right,
0:12:25 > 0:12:28someone got tipped off I was there, as I was coming out the church,
0:12:28 > 0:12:30somebody tried to shoot me with a crossbow.
0:12:31 > 0:12:33OK, Kerry. Right.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39- Sorry. Just the one ticket...? - Oh, another thing.
0:12:39 > 0:12:40Just to let you know,
0:12:40 > 0:12:42I changed all the light bulbs in the toilet to UV,
0:12:42 > 0:12:44so if we get any smackheads in tonight,
0:12:44 > 0:12:47they won't be able to see their veins when they're shooting up.
0:12:47 > 0:12:49Super. Right, um...
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Just... Sorry about that. Just the one ticket?
0:12:51 > 0:12:53All right?
0:12:53 > 0:12:55- What are you wearing?- What?
0:12:55 > 0:12:57Why are you not dressed up?
0:12:57 > 0:12:59- I thought you were joking.- No.
0:12:59 > 0:13:01That's the whole point of Grease cinema night -
0:13:01 > 0:13:03you dress up as, like, the people from the film.
0:13:03 > 0:13:04Well, I haven't seen the film, have I?
0:13:04 > 0:13:06That's why I came here - to watch the fucking film
0:13:06 > 0:13:09- like a normal human being. - All right! Just go inside, then.
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Oh, my God, is that Slugs?
0:13:17 > 0:13:18What is Kayleigh wearing?!
0:13:18 > 0:13:20She looks great.
0:13:20 > 0:13:23She can't walk in those shoes! Fucking 'ell.
0:13:23 > 0:13:25- Bambi on ice.- She looks good.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30- Hey, guys.- How you doing? - Doing good.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32- All right, Kurtan?- Yeah.
0:13:33 > 0:13:35Good.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39'50s ROCK AND ROLL PLAYS
0:14:04 > 0:14:06All right? Am I glad to see you.
0:14:06 > 0:14:07Why?
0:14:07 > 0:14:08This - it's shit, innit?
0:14:08 > 0:14:12- What?- This, this whole... It's embarrassing.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14- What, the party?- Yeah.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Don't know what party you're at, this one's bangin', mate.
0:14:17 > 0:14:18Look at everyone, look at them.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- You ain't dressed up. - You ain't dressed up.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Yeah, I am. I'm security.
0:14:23 > 0:14:26You look like Andy Fordham.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27Who's that?
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Fat darts player, basically.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Well, I don't care, because I'm enjoying myself.
0:14:34 > 0:14:37I do miss spending time with Kurtan, actually.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39I suppose that's a bit selfish of me, really,
0:14:39 > 0:14:42because he's got his own life to live, but...
0:14:42 > 0:14:46You know, it's just so good to see him so happy with Sophie.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49SLOW DANCE NUMBER PLAYS
0:15:03 > 0:15:05I don't even know why you getting so upset.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07I di...
0:15:07 > 0:15:11I've made an effort by coming here tonight. I didn't want to come.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Do you understand that? But I still did.
0:15:13 > 0:15:15- You don't give a shit about me.- Oh...
0:15:15 > 0:15:18I make such an effort, and now you don't give a shit.
0:15:18 > 0:15:21When I look at Slugs and Kayleigh, I think that's all that I want.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24- SCOFFS:- That is insane.
0:15:24 > 0:15:26It's not - he was dancing, he was making an effort.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29- Yeah, like a fucking boo-bah. - And you still haven't let me know
0:15:29 > 0:15:31- if you're coming to my parents barbecue on Sunday.- Oh...
0:15:31 > 0:15:32I've asked you like three times...
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Hey, hey, hey! This is Mr Belding.
0:15:34 > 0:15:37What have I told you kids about loitering in the corridors?
0:15:37 > 0:15:39Sorry, mate, who are you?
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Ian.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Ian, right, I'm just having a very serious chat
0:15:43 > 0:15:45with my girlfriend right here,
0:15:45 > 0:15:48and what you've just done is really inappropriate, mate, all right?
0:15:48 > 0:15:50Sorry, mate.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52Fuck!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Do you not wanna be with me?
0:15:57 > 0:16:01Mr Belding, that...that's Saved By The Bell, that's not Grease.
0:16:01 > 0:16:03He's got that totally wrong.
0:16:04 > 0:16:06Sorry...
0:16:06 > 0:16:07What did you say?
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Fucking prick.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15Oh, fuck.
0:16:16 > 0:16:17DOOR SLAMS
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Mr Belding!
0:16:25 > 0:16:27Pfft.
0:16:27 > 0:16:30He's... He's gonna be embarrassed about that in the morning.
0:16:37 > 0:16:41Sophie dumped Kurtan last night, so he's in a bit of a state.
0:16:42 > 0:16:45I had to wheel him here from his house in an Asda trolley,
0:16:45 > 0:16:48cos he was just too heartbroken to move.
0:16:50 > 0:16:53It's a shame, cos I'd just finished writing my best man speech.
0:16:54 > 0:16:55But...
0:16:59 > 0:17:00When I first saw Sophie
0:17:00 > 0:17:03I thought, "Wow, Kurtan's really punching above his weight,
0:17:03 > 0:17:06"he'll never be able to hang on to her" -
0:17:06 > 0:17:09but he has, and I've never seen him happier.
0:17:30 > 0:17:31You all right?
0:17:34 > 0:17:35Kurtan?
0:17:37 > 0:17:39Kurtan, mate?
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Yeah, I just...
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Oh, I just need to sort my shit out.
0:17:44 > 0:17:46Try and fix things.
0:17:50 > 0:17:53Yeah, it is hard seeing Kurtan like this,
0:17:53 > 0:17:55but when someone's down, there's nothing better
0:17:55 > 0:17:58than a little random act of kindness -
0:17:58 > 0:18:00and I know exactly how to fix things.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09Sometimes you don't know what you got until you ain't got it any more.
0:18:09 > 0:18:10- KNOCK AT DOOR - Hello?
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Like Blockbusters.
0:18:14 > 0:18:17I just took 'em for granted - and then, one day, gone...
0:18:17 > 0:18:20..and you spend ages trying to figure out what went wrong,
0:18:20 > 0:18:24and then you realise it was your fault all along.
0:18:24 > 0:18:25It's all right, Kurtan.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29Not Blockbusters, that... that was online piracy,
0:18:29 > 0:18:33and lack of vision upstairs, in the boardroom.
0:18:33 > 0:18:35It's just like...
0:18:35 > 0:18:40..after not going to Swindon College and that,
0:18:40 > 0:18:44when I ducked out, I just thought that I'd let you down.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47Of course you didn't.
0:18:49 > 0:18:50Is...
0:18:50 > 0:18:53Is that why you've not been coming to see me?
0:18:53 > 0:18:55- Yeah.- Oh, Kurtan.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Well...that, and...
0:19:01 > 0:19:06..the cress that we sowed together in the village hall kitchen,
0:19:06 > 0:19:08I've actually been having nightmares about it,
0:19:08 > 0:19:10because I haven't watered it in so long,
0:19:10 > 0:19:14and in my dreams, the cress is so thirsty,
0:19:14 > 0:19:15it's dying like a starving dog,
0:19:15 > 0:19:18and it's going, "Kurtan just left me to die."
0:19:18 > 0:19:21Kurtan, don't... Don't worry, it's fine.
0:19:21 > 0:19:23- I've been watering it.- Yeah?- Yes.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25- Really?- Yes.
0:19:25 > 0:19:26Oh...
0:19:28 > 0:19:29That's...
0:19:29 > 0:19:35- That's amazing.- I'm sorry you've been worrying so much about it.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38- I really am.- It's just so stupid, I just know it's so stupid...
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Oh, you mustn't feel stupid.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43I wish you'd come and told me all this earlier.
0:19:44 > 0:19:49Yeah, just had a great chat with the vicar, and honestly,
0:19:49 > 0:19:52it feels so much better now that everything is sorted.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54I feel bad for slagging him off,
0:19:54 > 0:19:56because that was bang out of order...
0:19:57 > 0:20:01..and for posting a picture of him on that German porn site, but...
0:20:01 > 0:20:04..I can probably take that down, I think.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07I feel like a prat about the cress, as well, but...
0:20:07 > 0:20:09You don't need to feel silly about that.
0:20:09 > 0:20:10You don't believe how much stress...
0:20:10 > 0:20:14I've been stressing about it so much.
0:20:14 > 0:20:18Yes, it's great having Kurtan back, I've really missed him. Um...
0:20:19 > 0:20:24..but just between you and me, his cress did die. Um...
0:20:24 > 0:20:27..but I don't think he's quite ready to hear that just yet.
0:20:36 > 0:20:40I just think I was in denial about a lot of shit, even Soph,
0:20:40 > 0:20:42and I was taking it out on the vicar,
0:20:42 > 0:20:44even though it weren't his fault.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47Thinking about it now, me and Soph just weren't right for each other.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50All right? No, I'm just going round Kerry's house.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52She really wants me to come over.
0:20:52 > 0:20:56Yeah, probably be nice to hang out with her again, just us two.
0:20:56 > 0:20:57Like the old days, really.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02- All right?- All right?
0:21:02 > 0:21:04- Hi.- All right?
0:21:05 > 0:21:07What are you...doing here?
0:21:07 > 0:21:10- Well, Kerry called me... - I called her.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12Oh, right.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14OK.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17So, the wanna talk? Cos this is just... This is so silly.
0:21:17 > 0:21:20- It is so silly.- Yeah, it's just...
0:21:20 > 0:21:23It is what it is, though, really.
0:21:23 > 0:21:24So...
0:21:24 > 0:21:27- Do you wanna go outside? - Give her a kiss!
0:21:27 > 0:21:28Er... Why?
0:21:30 > 0:21:31What for?
0:21:33 > 0:21:35I thought you said you wanted to fix things.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37I...don't...remember saying that.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40You did. You told me you wanted to fix things.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43He did.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44I did, yeah, but...
0:21:44 > 0:21:46..with...with the vicar.
0:21:54 > 0:21:57So, you definitely don't wanna fix things with...
0:21:57 > 0:21:59..her?
0:21:59 > 0:22:00Nah...
0:22:00 > 0:22:01Sorry.
0:22:02 > 0:22:04Um...
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Yeah.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Probably should go now.
0:22:11 > 0:22:14OK, see ya.
0:22:14 > 0:22:16Sorry, can I just get round you?
0:22:16 > 0:22:17Thanks.
0:22:19 > 0:22:20DOOR CLOSES
0:22:30 > 0:22:31I'm so sorry...
0:22:33 > 0:22:35..but...
0:22:35 > 0:22:37..is it all right if you leave my house?
0:22:39 > 0:22:42It's just I only kind of know you through Kurtan.
0:22:44 > 0:22:46Is that OK?
0:22:46 > 0:22:48Yeah?
0:22:48 > 0:22:49So sorry about that.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58Ooh...
0:22:58 > 0:22:59- See ya.- Bye.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09I'm not quite sure what...
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Cos I must have read that completely wrong, there.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22It's her own fault, actually...
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Cos she led me down this path.
0:23:25 > 0:23:27You know?
0:23:27 > 0:23:28I...
0:23:29 > 0:23:32She was sort of doing it to me, that's the thing.
0:23:32 > 0:23:36She was going to me, "Oh," you know, "you get us back together."
0:23:36 > 0:23:38It is not really my fault, is it?
0:23:39 > 0:23:42I think she's just living in a dream world.
0:23:42 > 0:23:44She wanted it to go that way,
0:23:44 > 0:23:46and it just wasn't gonna go that way.
0:23:46 > 0:23:50She even got ME thinking that they'd get back together...
0:23:51 > 0:23:55..but that's manipula.... manipulative people...do that.
0:23:55 > 0:23:57And he's better off without her.
0:24:01 > 0:24:03- Am I going first?- Yeah.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07- Kurtan, not bad. Bit more power.- Yeah.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09Your go, Kerry.
0:24:09 > 0:24:12- Rubbish.- Er, Kurtan, please.
0:24:12 > 0:24:14That wasn't rubbish, that was a good effort.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Ah, see?
0:24:18 > 0:24:21- That wasn't much to write home about.- Aah! Hah!
0:24:21 > 0:24:23- She just kicked it!- No, I didn't.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25- Kerry...- I saw you kick it!
0:24:25 > 0:24:27- Just a minute. Kerry... - You can't kick...!
0:24:27 > 0:24:28Kerry, don't be silly, look.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30- Play fair, or you can sit out. - No, honestly, cos...
0:24:30 > 0:24:32- Come on.- It's...- All right... - Come on.
0:24:32 > 0:24:34- ..I'll just tell him about the cress, then, shall I?- What?
0:24:34 > 0:24:36What about the cress?
0:24:36 > 0:24:37Kerry, please.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42- What about the cress? - Nothing, Kurtan. It's fine.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44I'm just gonna take this shot. What about the cress?
0:24:45 > 0:24:47It's fucking dead, isn't it?
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Why'd you have to do that, Kerry?
0:25:00 > 0:25:01Is it my turn?