0:00:48 > 0:00:52First, the parish notices about our Christmas activities.
0:00:52 > 0:00:57We've had the Christmas collection for old people of the parish,
0:00:57 > 0:01:00which raised the sum of £400 -
0:01:00 > 0:01:03a record amount,
0:01:03 > 0:01:08due mainly to a substantial donation by our lord of the manor, Mr DeVere.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Our thanks are due to him.
0:01:12 > 0:01:17And then, last night, we had the estate staff party.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19I gather a good time was had by all.
0:01:21 > 0:01:27Our thanks must go to all those who worked hard to make it a success...
0:01:27 > 0:01:30..especially to our lord, Mr DeVere.
0:01:34 > 0:01:40Tomorrow, Christmas Eve, we shall make the church ready for our candlelight procession
0:01:40 > 0:01:44and blessing of the crib at the midnight service.
0:01:44 > 0:01:48In the afternoon, the women will decorate the church.
0:01:48 > 0:01:52We can expect an even better display than usual,
0:01:52 > 0:01:58owing to another generous donation from Mr DeVere...
0:01:58 > 0:02:01our lord of the manor.
0:02:01 > 0:02:08May the words of my mouth and the meditations of our hearts be acceptable in thy sight, O Lord,
0:02:08 > 0:02:11our strength and our Redeemer.
0:02:13 > 0:02:16My text today comes...
0:02:16 > 0:02:21Well, the words of his mouth were not acceptable in my sight.
0:02:21 > 0:02:25- It was rather a good sermon. - The sermon was a lovely length,
0:02:25 > 0:02:29but, "Mr DeVere this, our lord of the manor that."
0:02:29 > 0:02:34Well, something is rotten in the state of Denmark.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36He's from Czechoslovakia.
0:02:36 > 0:02:41The rector didn't utter one word about all my hard work.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43This year, I was just "the women".
0:02:43 > 0:02:48- "The women will decorate the church."- You will do it, though?
0:02:48 > 0:02:50Yes. Well, me and the women.
0:02:50 > 0:02:56- I've a mind not to, nor do all the other things.- What other things?
0:02:56 > 0:03:01- The crib.- Have you got it here? - Must've come over from the manor.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- Ned got it from the attic.- Ned?
0:03:03 > 0:03:08Brabinger's spending Christmas with his granddaughter,
0:03:08 > 0:03:10- so Ned's lending a hand.- Oh.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Ned, what on earth are you doing?
0:03:15 > 0:03:19- Preparing a surprise, Mrs Fforbes. - In the dark?
0:03:19 > 0:03:22- Look better in the dark.- What do?
0:03:22 > 0:03:25Fairy lights. Look.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Ned, that's lovely. Isn't it, Aud?
0:03:30 > 0:03:33Cheers the place up. Thank you, Ned.
0:03:33 > 0:03:38Remember how the lights on the tree at the manor used to blink?
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Yes, but we can't have everything.
0:03:41 > 0:03:46We can, ma'am. I've made a little transformer with a circuit breaker
0:03:46 > 0:03:50- that makes the lights go on and off. - Is this wise?
0:03:50 > 0:03:55- I'm rather wary of your electrical expertise.- It's safe, Mrs Fforbes.
0:04:04 > 0:04:06Well?
0:04:06 > 0:04:09Well what?
0:04:10 > 0:04:15- I thought you said they came on again.- There seems to be a failure.
0:04:15 > 0:04:20- We'll forget about your Belisha beacon.- Won't take long to repair.
0:04:20 > 0:04:25No. In fact, I forbid you to mess about with electricity.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28If you say so, Mrs Fforbes.
0:04:28 > 0:04:32- Ned, I thought you mended the bird table.- I did.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36- How did it get like that? - Oh, I can't think.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39There was a robin on it this morning.
0:04:39 > 0:04:42Are you sure it wasn't an eagle?
0:04:42 > 0:04:47- What was the robin doing? - Fighting off one of the farm cats.
0:04:47 > 0:04:52I see. Oh, by the way, where did you put the crib?
0:04:52 > 0:04:56Oh, I couldn't find it. I searched the whole house.
0:04:56 > 0:05:00- He's got it. - He'll do the crib, then.
0:05:00 > 0:05:05I won't let him do my one remaining duty. He doesn't know where it is.
0:05:05 > 0:05:10- Perhaps he's found it.- No chance of that. I know where it is.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12He'll never find it.
0:05:13 > 0:05:20- One headless shepherd. - One three-legged donkey. - One wingless archangel.
0:05:20 > 0:05:22One camel minus hump.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25One hump minus camel.
0:05:26 > 0:05:31One wise man bearing gift. Donkey's leg, by the look of it.
0:05:31 > 0:05:35- Mother, where did you find this? - In the butler's pantry. Aggh!
0:05:35 > 0:05:38- What?- One dead mouse.
0:05:39 > 0:05:43Well, at least it's got all its bits.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48Rector, I'm afraid we can't use that.
0:05:48 > 0:05:53Well, as I say, the crib has always been provided by the manor.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Oh.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00Would you like another sherry?
0:06:00 > 0:06:04"Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging." Proverbs 20.
0:06:04 > 0:06:07Yes, please.
0:06:07 > 0:06:12I'm sure it's not beyond your powers to patch it up.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19- Another one?- No, three's my limit.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22- You've had four.- Better be going.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26- Will you pass the lodge? - It's on my way.
0:06:26 > 0:06:30Can you drop this in on your friend and mine?
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Certainly.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36Yes, I'll see myself out.
0:06:37 > 0:06:40Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
0:06:40 > 0:06:44- Oh, yes. Good morning.- Good morning.
0:06:44 > 0:06:47And thank you for your custom(!)
0:06:47 > 0:06:52You heard what he said. We'd better start getting this thing patched up.
0:06:52 > 0:06:57- I'm not one of the world's patchers. - We need it by tomorrow.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00I have influence in high places.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03- But not THAT high.- Leave it to me.
0:07:05 > 0:07:09Why don't I pop over and ask him if I can find the crib?
0:07:09 > 0:07:14No. If he thinks he's got something I want, he'll make an issue of it.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18No. We'll have to find another crib.
0:07:18 > 0:07:22- How? It's Christmas Eve tomorrow. - Yes, it is.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25- We'll have to make one.- Make one?
0:07:25 > 0:07:29Ned can make the stable. You can make the animals.
0:07:29 > 0:07:33- What will you make? - Mother and child.- Can you?
0:07:33 > 0:07:39I'm clever with my hands. I was the Rodin of the Lower Remove.
0:07:39 > 0:07:41I can't make animals.
0:07:41 > 0:07:45You made lovely animals for that WI competition.
0:07:45 > 0:07:49When we had to make an animal out of a vegetable.
0:07:49 > 0:07:54I won with a carrot giraffe judged to be far and away the best.
0:07:54 > 0:07:57Yes, and you were the judge.
0:07:57 > 0:08:01How do you think your frogs made out of marrow came second?
0:08:02 > 0:08:05Frogs aren't right for this.
0:08:05 > 0:08:10Nothing about "shepherds keeping watch over their frogs by night".
0:08:11 > 0:08:15Oh, Ned, we're going to make a Christmas crib.
0:08:15 > 0:08:19- Do you think you could make a stable?- A stable?
0:08:19 > 0:08:24- I'm good at model aeroplanes. - A stable, not a Sopwith Camel.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26What shall I make it from?
0:08:26 > 0:08:29Anything. Adopt, adapt, improve.
0:08:29 > 0:08:31Oh.
0:08:31 > 0:08:37- What's that?- This letter just came for you, delivered by the rector.
0:08:37 > 0:08:41Not fussy who delivers the Christmas post these days.
0:08:41 > 0:08:46- Oh! It's a Christmas card from our lord.- Who?
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Mr DeVere.
0:08:48 > 0:08:56What a plan of his new Brent Cross outlet has to do with Christmas, I don't know. Here's a note.
0:08:56 > 0:09:02"My mother and I would be so pleased if you'd spend Xmas Day with us here."
0:09:02 > 0:09:05"Xmas"! Makes it sound like a skin complaint.
0:09:05 > 0:09:12Ned, telephone the manor, present my compliments to Mr DeVere,
0:09:12 > 0:09:16tell him I am unable to accept his kind invitation for Christmas Day.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18- Why not?- No reason.
0:09:20 > 0:09:24- Are you sure? - How would I feel at the manor?
0:09:24 > 0:09:30- Last year, the family came. Best Christmas ever. - Yes, I know. I was there.
0:09:30 > 0:09:35Oh, yes. Remember playing sardines around the house after lunch,
0:09:35 > 0:09:42and coming in exhausted from the Boxing Day hunt and watching Basil Brush?
0:09:42 > 0:09:47Pulling crackers and Martin moaning about British industry.
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Because his Chinese puzzle was made in Hong Kong!
0:09:53 > 0:09:58No, I couldn't go there this year. Anyway, I've a previous engagement.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00- A previous engagement?- With you.
0:10:00 > 0:10:04- Me?- You always spend it with me.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07Ah, well, times change. I can't manage it this year.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10- Why not?- A previous engagement.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13You never have previous engagements.
0:10:13 > 0:10:16- Well, I have this year.- Where?
0:10:16 > 0:10:19Up at the manor with Mr DeVere.
0:10:19 > 0:10:24- You are spending Christmas Day with Mr DeVere?- Yes.- Why?
0:10:24 > 0:10:27- He asked me.- No reason to accept.
0:10:27 > 0:10:31- You don't like Richard... - Oh, it's "Richard" now?!
0:10:31 > 0:10:34He says to use his Christian name.
0:10:34 > 0:10:40The nearest he gets to Christian is stirring his coffee with an apostle spoon!
0:10:40 > 0:10:45Be more complimentary. It IS Christmas and he IS doing his stuff.
0:10:45 > 0:10:50Only to salve his conscience over making a fortune from supermarkets.
0:10:50 > 0:10:54It's an excuse to make people buy things they can't afford
0:10:54 > 0:10:59which people they don't like and don't want don't like.
0:10:59 > 0:11:01You're beastly about poor Richard.
0:11:01 > 0:11:06- If you end up alone, you've only yourself to blame.- Possibly.
0:11:06 > 0:11:13One did think that one's best friend would support one, especially at Christmas.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16- Don't make me feel guilty.- I won't.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18I suppose it'll be on Christmas Day
0:11:18 > 0:11:24that the full implication of my new situation will come home to me,
0:11:24 > 0:11:26spending it all alone.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29You're making me feel dreadful.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32No, no, don't feel sorry for me.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36If I get through this first Christmas without undue trauma,
0:11:36 > 0:11:42it'll be a feat of moral courage to keep me going the rest of the year.
0:11:42 > 0:11:48- I...- I shall just resign myself to spending a very boring Christmas here, all alone.
0:11:48 > 0:11:52One shouldn't desert one's friends, especially at Christmas.
0:11:52 > 0:11:55I don't want you making sacrifices.
0:11:55 > 0:11:58- I'll come to you.- That's settled!
0:11:58 > 0:12:02We'll come straight back here after matins.
0:12:02 > 0:12:05Come back with your oxes and asses.
0:12:05 > 0:12:10- Made from vegetables.- No, save them. We'll need them for Christmas lunch.
0:12:13 > 0:12:16- HAMMERING - Oh, blast!
0:12:16 > 0:12:20- Do you have to be so noisy? - Nearly finished, ma'am.
0:12:22 > 0:12:26Oh, well, Joseph will have to be bald.
0:12:27 > 0:12:32Now, what do you think of those - the Holy Family?
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Oh, very nice, Mrs Fforbes.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39- There, ma'am. The stable.- Excellent.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43Who said we couldn't knock up a crib if we put our minds to it?
0:12:43 > 0:12:45Let's put the figures in.
0:12:49 > 0:12:54Oh, dear. You've made the figures too big, Mrs Fforbes.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58You mean, you've made the stable too small.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Well, ma'am, you didn't say any size.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03I left that to your intelligence.
0:13:03 > 0:13:10How was I to know you were going to make something the size of a bird...table?
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Ned...
0:13:15 > 0:13:18- Ned...- "Adopt, adapt, improve."
0:13:18 > 0:13:21That's what you said, Mrs Fforbes.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24I said nothing about "destroy".
0:13:24 > 0:13:27You'll have to make a larger one.
0:13:27 > 0:13:30If Bertie's kennel disappears, there'll be trouble.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35- Cooey!- In the studio, Marjory.
0:13:35 > 0:13:39- Morning, Miss Frobisher.- Hello, Ned.
0:13:39 > 0:13:46- Aren't those lovely?!- Thank you. - Haven't you made them too small? - Too small?
0:13:46 > 0:13:49Well, surely. I mean, look.
0:13:49 > 0:13:54- You said nothing about size. - Well, I have now. MY size.
0:13:54 > 0:13:59- Perhaps mine should go outside the stable.- Oh, no, that'll look silly.
0:13:59 > 0:14:01That donkey isn't right.
0:14:01 > 0:14:05They were meant to have come from Nazareth on it.
0:14:05 > 0:14:08That wouldn't have got out of the drive.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16Look, "the women" are at it already.
0:14:16 > 0:14:18Afternoon, Mrs Eacham. Hello, Lily.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22I'll supervise the flowers when we've set up the crib.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25- Put the lights on.- Yes, Mrs Fforbes.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28No, the chancel.
0:14:30 > 0:14:32No, that's the organ.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35That's it.
0:14:35 > 0:14:37That WAS it.
0:14:37 > 0:14:39He can't even manage a switch.
0:14:39 > 0:14:45That's right. Don't touch another thing. ..All right. Over here.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49What on Earth...? Marjory, look at that.
0:14:49 > 0:14:53- Oh, it's divine! - It's anything but divine.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55It is common and vulgar and new.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58- Remove this monstrosity.- Yes, ma'am.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01- It's arrived!- Is this your work?
0:15:01 > 0:15:04- Snazzy, eh?- Frightfully. - Might have known.
0:15:04 > 0:15:08The rector told me the crib was always provided by the manor.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Not by the manor, by ME.
0:15:10 > 0:15:15Ever since I can remember, and before me, the family...
0:15:15 > 0:15:16Since the year 2000 BC.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19They didn't have cribs in 2000 BC.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22By tradition, I do the crib every year,
0:15:22 > 0:15:26and at a cost of considerable time and effort,
0:15:26 > 0:15:30- a crib I have done.- Oh, ha-ha! Ahh!
0:15:30 > 0:15:33I think we've done better than that, don't you?
0:15:33 > 0:15:39Wait till you've seen this in its full glory. Watch this.
0:15:39 > 0:15:42MUSIC PLAYS: "Jingle Bells"
0:15:42 > 0:15:45Now, I'll speed it up, so you can see the complete cycle.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58It does that once every 15 minutes.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02- Ingenious, if I may say so. - No, you may not.
0:16:02 > 0:16:06People in Oxford Street watch that for hours.
0:16:06 > 0:16:11- In Oxford Street?- Yes. It was in one of my shop windows.
0:16:11 > 0:16:15- When I was told to provide a crib... - A crib, not a planetarium.
0:16:15 > 0:16:20I suppose it has nodding donkeys with flashing eyes(!)
0:16:20 > 0:16:22- There's a guiding star.- Of course.
0:16:25 > 0:16:28Oh, it ought to twinkle.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32This is meant to be Bethlehem. It looks like Tokyo High Street.
0:16:32 > 0:16:38- It's supposed to have a circuit breaker.- Why not have a neon sign - "DeVere's Pork Pies"?
0:16:39 > 0:16:44No circuit breaker to make the star twinkle.
0:16:44 > 0:16:49- I've got one of those, sir.- Could I borrow it?- Yes, of course, sir.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51- I'll go and fetch it.- Thank you, Ned.
0:16:51 > 0:16:55We'll have that little star twinkling fit to bust.
0:16:58 > 0:17:00- It's super.- I knew you'd all like it eventually.
0:17:00 > 0:17:05- BLEEP BLEEP - What's that?- Wanted on the phone.
0:17:05 > 0:17:09My goodness! There isn't a telephone in there too, is there?
0:17:13 > 0:17:15BOTTLES CLINK
0:17:15 > 0:17:20- What's that?- A crate of sherry, in case the rector calls round.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23- Crib's arrived.- What's it like?
0:17:23 > 0:17:26Ritzy. I'd like a weekend there.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28Ahhh!
0:17:33 > 0:17:35We have come a long way together.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39You are too young to remember.
0:17:39 > 0:17:44Did I ever tell you of the Christmas we had together all those years ago,
0:17:44 > 0:17:47- just after your father died?- Often.
0:17:47 > 0:17:51We were so poor, we only had a stick of brushwood for a Christmas tree
0:17:51 > 0:17:53and we couldn't afford decorations.
0:17:53 > 0:17:59HE MOUTHS ALONG We got orange peel, silver paper...
0:17:59 > 0:18:05TOGETHER: ..and for Christmas dinner we had carrot stew.
0:18:06 > 0:18:08Oh!
0:18:08 > 0:18:12But in spite of that, looking back on it,
0:18:12 > 0:18:17and thinking of all the Christmases we had before and since,
0:18:17 > 0:18:22I think that that one was the most miserable of the lot.
0:18:22 > 0:18:24What?
0:18:24 > 0:18:31But if anyone had come to the door and offered us shop-bought stuff, we'd have told them where to go.
0:18:31 > 0:18:34- My God, I've done it again!- What?
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Audrey - what have I done to her?
0:18:37 > 0:18:40I dread to think, since she won't come here.
0:18:40 > 0:18:44- She made a crib herself. - What out of?
0:18:44 > 0:18:49- Orange peel and silver paper. - Just like our decorations.
0:18:49 > 0:18:54- I got one from the store. Think how we would have felt.- Hopping mad.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Just how Audrey's feeling now.
0:18:57 > 0:19:01- Where are you going? - To remove my crib.
0:19:01 > 0:19:07- Marjory?- Yes.- You know it's the thought that counts.
0:19:07 > 0:19:12- Yes, you said that about my present to you last year.- Did I?
0:19:12 > 0:19:14We should regard this as a thought.
0:19:14 > 0:19:19It's his present to the parish and we should have been more gracious.
0:19:19 > 0:19:21"We"? Have you changed your mind?
0:19:21 > 0:19:26No. As a crib, it's horrid, but as a thought, it's acceptable.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29- What shall we do with ours?- Hide it.
0:19:29 > 0:19:34- Could I have a word?- You mustn't let Ned...- Never mind about Ned.
0:19:34 > 0:19:36I'm going to take my crib away.
0:19:36 > 0:19:42- Yours is so much better.- How can you say that? There's no comparison.
0:19:42 > 0:19:48You've got to admit that mine lacks a certain je ne sais quoi - that's French, by the way.
0:19:48 > 0:19:54- Yours has more "quoi" than mine. Mine's going.- No, I insist! Mine is.
0:19:54 > 0:19:57Now, now, what's all this about?
0:19:57 > 0:20:02We have two cribs and I think we should have Mrs Fforbes-Hamilton's.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05I insist that we have Mr DeVere's.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08I see. Perhaps I should be the judge.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11Very well.
0:20:11 > 0:20:13Ah...yes!
0:20:16 > 0:20:17Ah.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22When you think of the amount of work that has gone into it,
0:20:22 > 0:20:27- this is much more in keeping with the spirit of Christmas.- Indeed.
0:20:27 > 0:20:34My impartial judgment is that I find myself taking Mrs Fforbes-Hamilton's part in this dispute.
0:20:34 > 0:20:38I quite agree. It should be Mr DeVere's crib.
0:20:38 > 0:20:42- But...- So be it. Come along, Marjory.
0:20:43 > 0:20:46ORGAN PLAYS
0:20:47 > 0:20:49- Happy Christmas.- Happy Christmas.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53- Happy Christmas, Richard. - And to you, Audrey.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56ORGAN PLAYS: O Come All Ye Faithful
0:20:56 > 0:20:59- Going?- The blessing of the crib.
0:21:09 > 0:21:11I'm very sorry about your crib.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14I haven't given it another thought.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31I think I've got everything fixed up all right now.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Let us pray.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Almighty God, who, as on this night,
0:21:43 > 0:21:48did cause his only begotten son to come down from Heaven and be born.
0:21:48 > 0:21:53Vouchsafe, we beseech thee, so to bless and hallow this crib
0:21:53 > 0:21:57wherein usher in the wonders of that sacred birth. Amen.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08MUSIC PLAYS: "Jingle Bells"
0:22:08 > 0:22:10MUSIC GRINDS TO A HALT
0:22:12 > 0:22:15MUSIC PLAYS VERY FAST
0:22:15 > 0:22:18AND WINDS DOWN AGAIN
0:22:25 > 0:22:28NATIONAL ANTHEM ON TV
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Isn't she wonderful?
0:22:37 > 0:22:41To think, she had to learn all that by heart.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Right, formalities over.
0:22:43 > 0:22:47It's a book and a film and it's five, no, six words.
0:22:51 > 0:22:53Marjory, are you quite well?
0:22:53 > 0:22:58If it wasn't for the hunchback... Oh, I've given it away.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01- What ARE you doing?- Charades.
0:23:01 > 0:23:06- Time for party games.- You can't have party games without a party.
0:23:06 > 0:23:10We always used to have party games up at the manor.
0:23:10 > 0:23:15Sardines. That's what I'll miss most about this Christmas.
0:23:15 > 0:23:19- We could play sardines. - In a house this size?
0:23:19 > 0:23:23At the manor, squeezing oneself into a hole was a game.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25Here, it's a permanent occurrence.
0:23:25 > 0:23:29You've been a misery all day.
0:23:29 > 0:23:32Why not have a drink? Drown your sorrows.
0:23:32 > 0:23:34I would, if there were any here.
0:23:34 > 0:23:39We could have been at the manor now. I bet they're having a great time.
0:23:44 > 0:23:48- Mother?- Hm?- Oughtn't we to be doing something?
0:23:50 > 0:23:53It's getting dark. Draw the curtains.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Well, what about the other ones?
0:24:06 > 0:24:09It's something to look forward to.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14If not charades, what about blind man's buff?
0:24:14 > 0:24:19- With two of us? - I'm only trying to cheer you up.
0:24:19 > 0:24:24If I hadn't been pig-headed, we'd be at the manor playing sardines.
0:24:24 > 0:24:29- It was rather intimate, squashing into our hidey-holes.- Yes.
0:24:29 > 0:24:34I hid in the butler's silver safe. Martin was the first to find me.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36It quite revived our marriage...
0:24:36 > 0:24:39till I realised who it was.
0:24:41 > 0:24:46- You should've gone up to the manor. - I know.- But if you didn't want to...
0:24:46 > 0:24:49Of course I did, for obvious reasons.
0:24:49 > 0:24:54But, no, I had to insist on spending my first Christmas alone,
0:24:54 > 0:24:59just to prove I'm not the sort that cracks up easily, and it's not true.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04So much for my brave face.
0:25:07 > 0:25:09Oh!
0:25:09 > 0:25:11LAUGHTER
0:25:11 > 0:25:13Good old Ned!
0:25:13 > 0:25:15They do flash off and on...
0:25:15 > 0:25:17every two days.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20- Visitors, Mrs Fforbes.- Who?
0:25:20 > 0:25:26- Mr DeVere and Mrs Pol...ou... His mother.- Well, show them in.
0:25:26 > 0:25:29Will you come this way, please?
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Audrey, Marjory, happy Christmas.
0:25:32 > 0:25:36- Happy Christmas, Richard, Mrs Polou...- Happy Christmas.
0:25:36 > 0:25:41- And to you, Miss Frobisher. - Happy Christmas one and all, especially one.- Down, Marjory.
0:25:41 > 0:25:45- Come and sit down. Oh, thank you.- Thank you.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49- What brings you here?- We were bored.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53- You seem to be having a great time. - Oh, we are, aren't we?
0:25:54 > 0:25:58- Aren't we, Marjory?- What? Oh, yes, we are now.
0:25:59 > 0:26:02- Well, drinks anybody? - Yes, I'd love one.
0:26:03 > 0:26:07- Oh, sorry.- Oh, thank you, sir.
0:26:07 > 0:26:11This IS going to be fun. You've joined us just in time for sardines.
0:26:11 > 0:26:17- Oh, no, thank you. I couldn't eat another thing.- It's a game.
0:26:17 > 0:26:21- An old English game? - I'll be it. You'll never find me.
0:26:22 > 0:26:25(In the broom cupboard under the stairs.)
0:26:25 > 0:26:30- Wait a minute. I don't think I understand this game.- Splendid!
0:26:30 > 0:26:33I'll explain it. Come with me.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35Close your eyes and start counting...
0:26:37 > 0:26:40..to a thousand.
0:27:11 > 0:27:15Subtitles by BBC Scotland - 1997