0:00:03 > 0:00:04Justice City.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06Would you look at that view? SHE SCOFFS
0:00:06 > 0:00:09Yeah, right, you brought me up here to look at the view!
0:00:09 > 0:00:11Why else would I bring you here?
0:00:11 > 0:00:13Hey, let's get some tunes on the radio.
0:00:13 > 0:00:16- ROCK'N'ROLL PLAYS - That's more like it.
0:00:17 > 0:00:18RASPY BREATHING
0:00:22 > 0:00:24SPRAY HISSES
0:00:24 > 0:00:27- COUGHING - Wait. What was that noise?
0:00:27 > 0:00:29It sounded like someone watching us from a bush.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34I know something that'll take your mind off it.
0:00:37 > 0:00:39SINISTER LAUGHTER
0:00:40 > 0:00:42BOTH SCREAM
0:00:42 > 0:00:43LAUGHTER CONTINUES
0:00:43 > 0:00:45COUGHING
0:00:45 > 0:00:46- MAN:- Excuse me.
0:00:46 > 0:00:49BOTH SCREAM, MAN LAUGHS
0:01:12 > 0:01:13GUNSHOT
0:01:19 > 0:01:24Every day, in every way, I'm going to feel more fulfilled and content.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26I'm going to treat every day like it's my last
0:01:26 > 0:01:28and nothing can stop me.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31The me I want to be is already inside me.
0:01:33 > 0:01:34You are the master of...
0:01:34 > 0:01:36What are you do...? Hey!
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Lay off the self-improvement tapes, mate.
0:01:38 > 0:01:41They're amazing. I feel so much more fulfilled and content.
0:01:41 > 0:01:43Yeah, but they're really getting on my tits.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46Well, excuse me for improving myself.
0:01:46 > 0:01:48- All right, John? - Hey, Zach. Good weekend?
0:01:48 > 0:01:51- Partied pretty hard, boys. - Tell me about it.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55Mahogany! Rust!
0:01:55 > 0:01:58Quit your yapping and get your asses in here.
0:02:00 > 0:02:03Watch what you say in there. His dog's just died.
0:02:03 > 0:02:06- Oh, not Five-O? - Yeah, he's really down about it.
0:02:06 > 0:02:07Thanks for the heads-up, Zach.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10Let's try keeping him thinking about happy times, OK?
0:02:10 > 0:02:12You know how bad Chief gets when he's emotional.
0:02:14 > 0:02:16- Chief.- All right, Chief?
0:02:16 > 0:02:17Remember when Five-O was alive?
0:02:17 > 0:02:19They were happy times, weren't they?
0:02:19 > 0:02:21CHIEF SOBS
0:02:24 > 0:02:27Poor little bastard.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30All he ever wanted to be was a police dog.
0:02:32 > 0:02:34Now he'll never get the chance.
0:02:34 > 0:02:37He had a great, full life, Chief. Like me.
0:02:37 > 0:02:40In fact, if I died tomorrow, there's nothing I'd feel I'd missed out on.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42You still listening to those damn tapes?
0:02:42 > 0:02:45I ain't got time to listen to your hippy-dippy bull-crap.
0:02:45 > 0:02:46We've got another missing couple.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50That's ten missing people this month, all of them within a one-mile radius of here.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54The Great Wall of China? That's out our jurisdiction, Chief.
0:02:54 > 0:02:57- Leave it to the Chinese. - Not there. Here.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01Dr Schafer's Top Secret Medical Research Facility.
0:03:01 > 0:03:05- Who is this Schafer?- Dr Otto Schafer. Scientific mastermind.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09Mayor Grady's diverted the whole of Justice City's medical budget to him
0:03:09 > 0:03:11to work on a serum for prolonging human life.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13I'll read this later.
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Now, get out there, find out what the hell's going on.
0:03:15 > 0:03:18Oh, and Chief...
0:03:18 > 0:03:20I know it hurts right now, but...
0:03:20 > 0:03:21you'll get over Five-O.
0:03:24 > 0:03:26Might help if you move him out of here, though.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Just get out!
0:03:36 > 0:03:38I think this is the place.
0:03:40 > 0:03:44- We're looking for Dr Schafer. Is he in?- Dunno.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Enough of the science talk, scientist. Where's Schafer?
0:03:47 > 0:03:48He's probably in the...
0:03:50 > 0:03:52SEXY GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS
0:03:52 > 0:03:53..lab.
0:03:59 > 0:04:01Well, can you take us to this lab?
0:04:02 > 0:04:05I've just sat down, but fine. Follow me.
0:04:19 > 0:04:20He's over there.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27Dr Schafer? John Mahogany, Justice City PD.
0:04:29 > 0:04:30DRAMATIC STING
0:04:31 > 0:04:33SINISTER MUSIC PLAYS
0:04:33 > 0:04:35- GERMAN ACCENT: - Pleasure to meet you, Mr Mahogany.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37How may I be of assistance to you?
0:04:37 > 0:04:39- MUSIC STOPS - Oh, good God!
0:04:39 > 0:04:41My hair's a complete mess.
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Drove in with the top down this morning.
0:04:43 > 0:04:45You should have said something, you naughty boy.
0:04:45 > 0:04:48We're looking into some missing people in the area.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51- Ten people in the last month. - Ten? How horrid.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54So this is all science, then, is it?
0:04:54 > 0:04:57Maybe. Dunno. I'm pretty crap at my job.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59Crisp?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01SEXY GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS
0:05:03 > 0:05:04What's your name?
0:05:04 > 0:05:06Tamara.
0:05:06 > 0:05:08No.
0:05:08 > 0:05:10- Tell me now.- OK.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12It's Gail.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14How does a girl like you end up here?
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Bus.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21- So, you've not seen them?- Hm.
0:05:21 > 0:05:25- No, although I'm a big fan of their music.- How about the couple?
0:05:25 > 0:05:27No, and I would have remembered.
0:05:27 > 0:05:31You know what they say - a scientist never forgets.
0:05:31 > 0:05:33I think that's elephants.
0:05:34 > 0:05:38Elephants? No, I'm pretty sure it's scientists.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41So, as you can see,
0:05:41 > 0:05:44there's nothing of suspicion at all happening here.
0:05:46 > 0:05:47Or...
0:05:48 > 0:05:49..there.
0:05:51 > 0:05:52Nothing at all.
0:05:52 > 0:05:54HE COUGHS
0:05:54 > 0:05:56SPRAY HISSES
0:05:56 > 0:05:59Yeah, well, we'll be in touch.
0:05:59 > 0:06:02Rest assured, if I do hear anything about those ten missing people,
0:06:02 > 0:06:03you'll be the first to know.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05Wait a minute.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11I didn't say there were ten of them.
0:06:14 > 0:06:16Yah!
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Wait a minute. You DID say there was ten of them.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22Oh, yeah. Doesn't matter now. You're trying to stab me.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24Ahh! That's so not fair!
0:06:24 > 0:06:26Mitch! Mitch, little help!
0:06:26 > 0:06:28BOTH LAUGH
0:06:28 > 0:06:30I wish I'd taken my chewing gum out first.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32HE LAUGHS
0:06:32 > 0:06:34Yeah! Cos of the...
0:06:34 > 0:06:39- Give it up, Schafer.- No! I must stay here in my lab and finish my serum.
0:06:39 > 0:06:40I'm so close!
0:06:40 > 0:06:43The only lab you'll be working from is in prison.
0:06:43 > 0:06:45Do they have science labs in the prison?
0:06:45 > 0:06:47I don't know. They've got a wood shop.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50- You could learn woodwork instead. - No chance.
0:06:50 > 0:06:54You know what they say - you can't teach an old scientist new tricks.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57That's dogs. When did you learn these? They're completely wrong.
0:06:57 > 0:06:58Yah!
0:07:02 > 0:07:04Have a nice life!
0:07:04 > 0:07:06Not!
0:07:06 > 0:07:07I did a joke.
0:07:12 > 0:07:13Are you serious?
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Guess that was a real... shot in the arm.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19BOTH LAUGH
0:07:19 > 0:07:22Thank God this thing PROLONGS human life.
0:07:22 > 0:07:23BOTH LAUGH
0:07:23 > 0:07:26Although there are some side effects. Number one...
0:07:26 > 0:07:28An increased desire to talk about the weather.
0:07:28 > 0:07:29BOTH LAUGH
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Well, that's fine, it has been getting colder recently.
0:07:32 > 0:07:34BOTH LAUGH
0:07:34 > 0:07:38And anyone who takes it will die within exactly 24 hours.
0:07:38 > 0:07:39BOTH LAUGH
0:07:39 > 0:07:42What?! How's that supposed to prolong human life?
0:07:42 > 0:07:44- Teething problems. - Well, is there an antidote?
0:07:44 > 0:07:46Yeah. Dr Schafer's got it.
0:07:47 > 0:07:49You just missed him.
0:07:58 > 0:08:00His assistant was nice.
0:08:00 > 0:08:02Bit more concerned with the fact I'm going to die tomorrow.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05What happened to, "Mate, if I died tomorrow,
0:08:05 > 0:08:08"there's nothing I feel I've missed out on, mate"?
0:08:11 > 0:08:12That was hypothetical.
0:08:12 > 0:08:14There's loads of shit I want to do.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16Plus, it looks like rain out there.
0:08:16 > 0:08:18Chill out. Don't let it NEEDLE you.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Right. A syringe joke. Great.
0:08:21 > 0:08:23Hey, John. How's the arm?
0:08:23 > 0:08:27- Heard he caught you with a... killer jab.- Killer jab!
0:08:27 > 0:08:29This isn't funny.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32All right, I can SERUM not welcome here.
0:08:34 > 0:08:36Right, that's it! You and me, Kowalski.
0:08:37 > 0:08:40If you're going to do this, you're going to have to make a decision.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43- Oh, yeah? What's that? - Do you want death...
0:08:43 > 0:08:44or sudden death?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Come on, break it up, break it up.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49You might have a lot on, mate, but that was a good joke from Zach.
0:08:49 > 0:08:53I've literally got 23 hours to live. 23 hours to live!
0:08:53 > 0:08:56It was 24 earlier. Get your story straight.
0:08:56 > 0:08:58Cool it! All of you.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01- Now, I want everyone to leave Mahogany alone.- Thank you, Chief.
0:09:01 > 0:09:06Stop trying to INJECT some fun in to the situation.
0:09:06 > 0:09:07ALL LAUGH
0:09:09 > 0:09:13Literally dying here, guys. Ticking time bomb.
0:09:13 > 0:09:15Laugh it up. Laugh it up!
0:09:16 > 0:09:18That was a doozy!
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Ah, don't worry about it.
0:09:23 > 0:09:26Schafer's assistant's in the lab with Helga right now
0:09:26 > 0:09:27trying to work up an antidote.
0:09:27 > 0:09:32Meanwhile, we have to find Schafer, you hear? Get to work.
0:09:38 > 0:09:42You don't think you're overdoing it with the suit, no?
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Never failed me before.
0:09:44 > 0:09:46What about when you wore it at Delaney's funeral.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48It's what he would've wanted.
0:09:48 > 0:09:50Case number 4329 - domestic homicide.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53Victim shows multiple cut marks, two to three centimetres deep.
0:09:53 > 0:09:54How's the antidote coming on?
0:09:54 > 0:09:56Inconsistent angle of entry
0:09:56 > 0:09:58points towards a frenzied, unplanned attack.
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Helga?
0:10:00 > 0:10:03Sorry, I was miles away. Just having my lunch.
0:10:03 > 0:10:06You... You're doing an autopsy on your lunch break?
0:10:06 > 0:10:07It's how I like to relax.
0:10:07 > 0:10:09OK. Fair enough.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12Um, it's just pretty urgent here. I'm literally dying.
0:10:12 > 0:10:13- You have your lunch at 12?- Yes.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Doesn't that make your afternoons really long?
0:10:15 > 0:10:18Like I say, guys, it's urgent here, so...
0:10:18 > 0:10:1912 is the optimum time
0:10:19 > 0:10:21to efficiently regulate my digestive process.
0:10:21 > 0:10:25Literally a ticking clock here, guys. Just... The antidote.
0:10:25 > 0:10:28Dr Schafer's assistant is... working on it.
0:10:30 > 0:10:32I'd better go see how she's, er...
0:10:34 > 0:10:35..getting on.
0:10:37 > 0:10:40- He is trying to impress her with the suit, yes?- Yeah.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42If he likes her, surely he should just ask her
0:10:42 > 0:10:44if she wants to have sexual intercourse with him.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48SEXY GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS
0:10:50 > 0:10:52I like your suit.
0:10:52 > 0:10:54Nice shoes, too.
0:10:57 > 0:10:58They're ivory.
0:10:58 > 0:11:01Pretty uncomfortable, actually.
0:11:01 > 0:11:02They've got no bend to them.
0:11:02 > 0:11:05There's nothing good about these shoes.
0:11:07 > 0:11:08Ribena?
0:11:10 > 0:11:11Don't mind if I do.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22I think you're meant to add water to that.
0:11:23 > 0:11:26I was sorry to hear you will soon be dead.
0:11:26 > 0:11:29- Thanks?- If it helps, we have a saying in my country.
0:11:29 > 0:11:32"When you die, you rot in the ground like abandoned meat."
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Sounds much nicer back home.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39SHE SPEAKS IN HER OWN LANGUAGE
0:11:39 > 0:11:41Yeah, you don't have to worry about trying to cheer me up.
0:11:41 > 0:11:44Will you and Gail have figured out the antidote by tomorrow morning?
0:11:44 > 0:11:46It's not looking good.
0:11:46 > 0:11:49All Gail can remember from the equation to Dr Schafer's serum
0:11:49 > 0:11:51is that it had a four in it.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54Well, could you just please try and figure something out?
0:11:54 > 0:11:55Sure. I'll get right on it.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57- Thank you.- After lunch.- Ohh...
0:12:05 > 0:12:07CHIEF SIGHS
0:12:07 > 0:12:09You miss him, don't you, Chief?
0:12:10 > 0:12:13He would've been the best damn police dog
0:12:13 > 0:12:15the department's ever seen.
0:12:15 > 0:12:19Sure. Although he was far too old to begin police training.
0:12:19 > 0:12:20And he was really dumb.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22The best.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24I know what you're going through.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Losing someone you love, it hurts.
0:12:26 > 0:12:29I just want my Five-O back.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32When I lost my Action Man, I went to pieces.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34Started hitting the squash hard.
0:12:34 > 0:12:37But one guy stood by me and cleaned me up.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39You're a good cop, Kowalski.
0:12:39 > 0:12:42I wasn't going to let you drink yourself into the gutter.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Yeah, well, I wanted to make it up to you,
0:12:45 > 0:12:48so I'd like you to meet the newest member of Justice City PD.
0:12:51 > 0:12:52Officer Five-O.
0:13:00 > 0:13:04- What the hell have you done to my dog?!- Now he can fight crime.
0:13:04 > 0:13:05He looks ridiculous.
0:13:05 > 0:13:09- What part of this did you think I'd like?- The blues and twos?
0:13:11 > 0:13:14- SIREN WHOOPS - Get the hell out of my office!
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Both of you.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Looks like Mahogany's still hanging in there.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40Yes, but unless somebody can come up with something
0:13:40 > 0:13:42in the next five hours, he's done for.
0:13:42 > 0:13:44That's true.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47- Got you some Lucozade, mate. - Oh, thanks, Mitch.
0:13:47 > 0:13:49Drank it on the way here, sorry.
0:13:50 > 0:13:51BOTTLE CRASHES IN BIN
0:13:51 > 0:13:54- What you doing? - Just doing my bucket list.
0:13:54 > 0:13:56I figured seeing as it's my last day on Earth,
0:13:56 > 0:13:58I might as well do everything I've always wanted.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Sounds boring. What you got?
0:14:00 > 0:14:03Swim with dolphins. Sleep under the stars.
0:14:03 > 0:14:06Donate blood. Probably should cross that one off.
0:14:06 > 0:14:08Putting my pants on in a different way.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Um...
0:14:10 > 0:14:11Shave.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16- Um, recording an album with my band, Mahog And The Fog.- Who's in that?
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Oh, it's just me, a fog machine and a cassette tape.
0:14:19 > 0:14:22And stand naked in the rain. Hopefully, I can still do that one.
0:14:22 > 0:14:24There's some light showers later
0:14:24 > 0:14:27with the temperature dropping to three or four degrees overnight.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29Yeah, well...
0:14:29 > 0:14:33- I'm off back to the lab. - Oh, yeah? How's it going in there?
0:14:33 > 0:14:34Yeah.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36- Pretty good.- Oh, good, good.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38I think she likes me.
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Not your bloody love life! The antidote.
0:14:41 > 0:14:42Oh, I see.
0:14:42 > 0:14:44It's always about you, isn't it?
0:14:44 > 0:14:48I'm dying, you selfish bastard. I've got five hours to live.
0:14:48 > 0:14:51Oh, get your story straight. 23, 24, 5.
0:14:51 > 0:14:52Come off it, mate!
0:14:52 > 0:14:56- All you can think about is that idiot lab technician.- How dare you!
0:14:56 > 0:14:58She's a lab assistant.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05Yeah, go on. Go. I don't need your help anyway.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07IVORY SHOES CLUMP
0:15:12 > 0:15:14# John's only got one day to live
0:15:16 > 0:15:22# And he's got to get through it on his own
0:15:23 > 0:15:27# He's trying to do his bucket list
0:15:27 > 0:15:32# Whilst Mitch tries to find him a cure
0:15:32 > 0:15:33# Yeah, right
0:15:33 > 0:15:36# Mitch is too horny
0:15:36 > 0:15:42# He wants to have sex with a laboratory...
0:15:42 > 0:15:45# Assistant
0:15:45 > 0:15:48# John would go bowling
0:15:48 > 0:15:52# If only he had the time
0:15:52 > 0:15:55# But he's almost dead. #
0:16:09 > 0:16:12- What's going on?- Shh...ut up.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15SEXY GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS
0:16:22 > 0:16:24I...
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Ah... Oh.
0:16:35 > 0:16:36HE SHOUTS OUT
0:16:38 > 0:16:40BOTH LAUGH
0:16:44 > 0:16:46HE SNEEZES
0:16:47 > 0:16:49THEY BARK
0:16:54 > 0:16:55BOTH LAUGH
0:16:55 > 0:16:58SHE CHEERS
0:16:58 > 0:16:59HE CRIES OUT IN PAIN
0:17:13 > 0:17:15That was some very weird sex.
0:17:20 > 0:17:22HE COUGHS
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Dad? Dad, are you there? It's me.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27- ECHOEY VOICE: - 'Hi, son, how's it going?'
0:17:27 > 0:17:29Why's it echoey? Are you on the toilet?
0:17:29 > 0:17:32- 'Just finishing up.' - TOILET FLUSHES
0:17:32 > 0:17:34'Sorry about that. Ate some bad ribs last night.
0:17:34 > 0:17:37'Been on the dunny all day. What can I do you for?'
0:17:37 > 0:17:39You're going to want to sit down for this.
0:17:39 > 0:17:42'Well, I'm not going back in there. What's the matter?'
0:17:42 > 0:17:43I'm dying, Dad.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47An evil scientist injected me with his serum
0:17:47 > 0:17:49that gives you exactly 24 hours to live.
0:17:49 > 0:17:50'Bloody typical.'
0:17:50 > 0:17:54Looks like I'm coming to stay with you on the other side.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56'Yeah...
0:17:56 > 0:17:58'Er, I've got a sofa and a sleeping bag,
0:17:58 > 0:18:00'so you can stay here for a couple of nights.
0:18:00 > 0:18:03- 'But then you'll have to find your own place.'- Thanks, Dad.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06'Got to go, son. Now, cheer up. At least you're not dying!
0:18:06 > 0:18:08'Oh, shit, yeah. Um...
0:18:08 > 0:18:09'None of us can live for ever,
0:18:09 > 0:18:11'so don't go mad trying to find a way to.
0:18:11 > 0:18:13'Don't go mad trying to find a way to.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16'Don't go mad trying to find a way to.'
0:18:16 > 0:18:17'A serum for prolonging human life.'
0:18:17 > 0:18:20I must finish my serum. I'm so close.
0:18:20 > 0:18:23That's it! You're a genius, Dad.
0:18:23 > 0:18:25OK, first things first.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Helga, how's the antidote coming on?
0:18:27 > 0:18:28I must begin again.
0:18:28 > 0:18:31My research has been somewhat contaminated.
0:18:32 > 0:18:34Oh, for...
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Now, the one thing we know about Dr Schafer
0:18:36 > 0:18:38is that he'd do anything to get his serum to work.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Including swapping the antidote.
0:18:40 > 0:18:43Maybe he'll listen if we can convince him
0:18:43 > 0:18:44that Gail's managed to solve it.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Now, we don't have much time.
0:18:46 > 0:18:47The temperature's dropping
0:18:47 > 0:18:50and we've got an area of low pressure coming in from the north.
0:18:50 > 0:18:52The fact is, we still don't know how to find Schafer.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54There's been no trace of him.
0:18:54 > 0:18:55Nada, zero,
0:18:55 > 0:18:57zilch, zip.
0:18:57 > 0:19:00The man's a goddamn ghost.
0:19:00 > 0:19:02- We could call him.- How?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04I've got his number.
0:19:04 > 0:19:07What?! You didn't think to mention this earlier
0:19:07 > 0:19:10when we were all talking about, "how are we going to find Dr Schafer"?
0:19:10 > 0:19:13Sorry! I didn't want to be "that girl" who's all, like,
0:19:13 > 0:19:16"Ooooh I'm the one that's got Schafer's number"!
0:19:17 > 0:19:19To be fair, mate...
0:19:21 > 0:19:24..she's been a bit busy, yeah?
0:19:24 > 0:19:25Having sex.
0:19:25 > 0:19:26That's great.
0:19:26 > 0:19:28Mate, I'm super stoked for you.
0:19:28 > 0:19:29Just, please...
0:19:29 > 0:19:31Please can you call him
0:19:31 > 0:19:33and tell him that you'll meet him in the lab?
0:19:33 > 0:19:35RASPY BREATHING
0:19:35 > 0:19:37HE COUGHS
0:19:39 > 0:19:41- Oh, give it a rest, mate. - John! John, what is it?
0:19:41 > 0:19:43I'm dying, obviously.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47Mate?
0:19:47 > 0:19:48Mate?!
0:19:50 > 0:19:58Ma-a-a-a-te!
0:20:07 > 0:20:09I'm sorry I didn't help you with your bucket list, mate.
0:20:09 > 0:20:12HE COUGHS That's OK.
0:20:12 > 0:20:14I'm sorry I lost it with you.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16I'm sorry I called you a prick as well.
0:20:16 > 0:20:19- You called me a prick? - What? No, no. Shh.
0:20:20 > 0:20:24If I don't get a chance to tell you this later,
0:20:24 > 0:20:25I want you to know...
0:20:27 > 0:20:29..it's windy out.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32I can't believe my best mate's dying...
0:20:32 > 0:20:35just as I fall for the perfect woman.
0:20:36 > 0:20:40To think you might never get the chance to watch us have sex.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42- I'm all right.- It's OK.
0:20:43 > 0:20:45I know you're just saying that.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47- No. 100%, I'm not keen. - No, it's all right. Shh.
0:20:47 > 0:20:50- Where the hell is Schafer? - Dunno. He said he'd pop over.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54- SINISTER MUSIC PLAYS - And I'm as good as my word.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Don't you worry about tha...
0:20:56 > 0:20:59- MUSIC STOPS - Oh! Look at my hair.
0:20:59 > 0:21:01Jesus! It's very windy outside.
0:21:01 > 0:21:02Did you bring the antidote?
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Yes.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08But first, you must tell me the formula for the serum.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10How about you give us the antidote first?
0:21:10 > 0:21:11- No.- Please?
0:21:11 > 0:21:14You DO have the formula, don't you?
0:21:14 > 0:21:17You've haven't sent me here on some kind of wild-scientist chase?
0:21:17 > 0:21:21Goose chase! Everybody knows it's goose chase.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Of course we've got the formula.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Have we? Does that mean we don't have to pretend we've got it any more?
0:21:26 > 0:21:28- HE SIGHS - Honey!
0:21:28 > 0:21:30- SHAFER:- What?
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Gail! You lied to me!
0:21:32 > 0:21:34Well, well!
0:21:34 > 0:21:38If you don't have the formula then you don't get the antidote.
0:21:38 > 0:21:41Wait! Don't do it, Doc.
0:21:41 > 0:21:43All right, so we fibbed.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46We don't have the formula for prolonging human life.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50But what does that even mean?
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Well, it's very clear. It means...
0:21:52 > 0:21:55You know, I never used to have much of a life.
0:21:55 > 0:21:57But then I met the woman of my dreams.
0:21:59 > 0:22:01- And I love her.- Shhh. Don't.
0:22:01 > 0:22:03- I love her.- Mm...
0:22:03 > 0:22:05I love you.
0:22:05 > 0:22:06I love her.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11And, you know, and we made beautiful...
0:22:11 > 0:22:13weird love together.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17Really freaky stuff, you know?
0:22:17 > 0:22:19Falling in love!
0:22:19 > 0:22:22Isn't that just a way of prolonging human life...
0:22:22 > 0:22:24as much as any formula?
0:22:26 > 0:22:28HE SOBS
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Oh, I'm so sorry, everyone,
0:22:35 > 0:22:38but he's just made everything feel so uncomfortable,
0:22:38 > 0:22:41I'm going to have to do this now just to get out of this situation.
0:22:46 > 0:22:51- Bollocks.- What are we going to do? He's only got seconds to live.
0:22:51 > 0:22:55Maybe you'll think twice before you try and trick me again.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58And now I shall make my escape.
0:22:58 > 0:22:59Goodbye
0:23:04 > 0:23:05.Five-O?
0:23:16 > 0:23:18- Quick, Chief.- What's this?
0:23:18 > 0:23:21I created an antidote after lunch. Stick it in him.
0:23:21 > 0:23:23Stick it in him!
0:23:31 > 0:23:32Oh!
0:23:32 > 0:23:34Go get him, boy. Go get him!
0:23:34 > 0:23:36Oh! Ahh!
0:23:37 > 0:23:38Yes!
0:23:40 > 0:23:43I will get my revenge on you.
0:23:43 > 0:23:47Your scientists will come home to roost over this.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52Ugh.
0:23:59 > 0:24:02- The antidote should be working now. - Oh, good.
0:24:02 > 0:24:04However...there is one side effect.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06Go on.
0:24:06 > 0:24:10Anybody who is administered with this antidote will die in exactly...
0:24:11 > 0:24:12..24 years.
0:24:16 > 0:24:19That's all right. I've got ages to sort an antidote for that.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26So, how about we celebrate with a round of sex?
0:24:26 > 0:24:28Yeah, sorry.
0:24:28 > 0:24:31I don't think it's going to work out.
0:24:31 > 0:24:32You're too emotional
0:24:32 > 0:24:36and I like my men to be a bit more big and insensitive
0:24:36 > 0:24:39and never crying,
0:24:39 > 0:24:43and LONG beards and maybe working at a police station.
0:24:43 > 0:24:44Soz.
0:24:50 > 0:24:53Sorry things didn't work out, mate.
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Here. You know what you need?
0:24:56 > 0:24:57A little self-improvement.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Something makes me think I'm not going to be needing these any more.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03You see... I've learned something today.
0:25:03 > 0:25:06You shouldn't live every day like it's your last.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09Because your last day is really shit.
0:25:09 > 0:25:13I learned that the only thing worse than science is love.
0:25:13 > 0:25:16- Yeah. - And a test tube up the arse.- What?
0:25:16 > 0:25:18And Five-O learned to play "air fetch".
0:25:18 > 0:25:21ALL LAUGH
0:25:21 > 0:25:23Looks like there's life in the old dog yet.
0:25:23 > 0:25:25ALL LAUGH
0:25:25 > 0:25:28Maybe we should give him a treat for being a good boy.
0:25:28 > 0:25:29ALL LAUGH
0:25:29 > 0:25:32Oh, no, wait. He's dead!
0:25:33 > 0:25:35He's not dead, he's not dead.