0:00:23 > 0:00:27Such excitement. Christmas is upon us, a smile on every face
0:00:27 > 0:00:29and a gladsome glow in every heart.
0:00:29 > 0:00:31Don't get me started!
0:00:31 > 0:00:35- Do not get me started because I will not stop.- Father's home!
0:00:35 > 0:00:38- Do not get me started. - Home for Christmas!
0:00:38 > 0:00:42Anne, I said don't get me started and now you've gone and started me!
0:00:42 > 0:00:47- You said you was home for Christmas. - Yes, Christmas. That special time
0:00:47 > 0:00:51when the coach companies of England make their annual contribution
0:00:51 > 0:00:54to the festive spirit by running their deceptively titled
0:00:54 > 0:00:56"holiday service".
0:00:56 > 0:00:58I mean why? Just why?!
0:00:58 > 0:01:00"The entire country's on the move so here's an idea -
0:01:00 > 0:01:04"let's re-route or cancel every single coach in England!"
0:01:04 > 0:01:08By St Thomas's toasted teacakes 'tis lucky the three Wise Men
0:01:08 > 0:01:10didn't travel to the manger by public coach.
0:01:10 > 0:01:12Jesus would have been crucified
0:01:12 > 0:01:15and risen again by the time they got there!
0:01:15 > 0:01:18"Bethlehem? We usually follow a star
0:01:18 > 0:01:23"but it's been taken out of service due to essential engineering works."
0:01:23 > 0:01:25Well, you're home now.
0:01:25 > 0:01:29Home for Christmas. And all must be merry.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32Once the advent fast be passed on Christmas Eve,
0:01:32 > 0:01:34we shall feast most royalty.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37I hate the advent fast. I'm like, why?!
0:01:37 > 0:01:38You're lucky, girl.
0:01:38 > 0:01:42In my day under Queen Mary the advent fast lasted
0:01:42 > 0:01:45until Christmas morning. Which in my view is the proper way.
0:01:45 > 0:01:49Starting Christmas as early as Christmas Eve is just wrong.
0:01:49 > 0:01:53It's all wrong. The true meaning of Christmas is forgotten.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55A surprisingly spiritual observation, Dad.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59It's all about Baby flippin' Jesus these days.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02What's he gotta do with it?
0:02:02 > 0:02:06What's Baby Jesus got to do with Christmas? Hmm, tough one.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09Well, the first syllable is his surname - could be a clue there -
0:02:09 > 0:02:13and the second does mean to worship. Anything in that? Hard to tell.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17It shouldn't be called Christ-mass at all, it's supposed to be
0:02:17 > 0:02:20a pagan festival celebrating the winter solstice,
0:02:20 > 0:02:23a nonstop pissling uppity
0:02:23 > 0:02:27dedicated to spending too much money on presents and parties.
0:02:27 > 0:02:31The whole gluttonous debauch has been completely
0:02:31 > 0:02:33corrupted by religion.
0:02:33 > 0:02:36At least the habit of giving presents hasn't changed.
0:02:36 > 0:02:39- I hope you've bought me a lovely present, Will.- Not yet, Anne,
0:02:39 > 0:02:42but I know what it is, I'm thinking of something really personal
0:02:42 > 0:02:46- and special.- Ooh, hark at him, Mum. Dad's gone all soppy doodah.
0:02:46 > 0:02:51I haven't gone all soppy doodah, daughter, I am all soppy doodah.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54And if you can't be soppy doodah at Christmas, when can you be?
0:02:54 > 0:02:57Oh, such a joyful season!
0:02:57 > 0:03:00Grandad be already voted our Lord of Misrule.
0:03:00 > 0:03:02Well, there's a surprise.
0:03:02 > 0:03:06I shall quaff and gorge, play tricks and mark mischief.
0:03:06 > 0:03:09And in what respect will this differ from the rest of the year?
0:03:09 > 0:03:13The Lord of Misrule is a disgusting, common tradition.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17- You love it when I get a bit cheeky! - I do not love it.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20- And we shall have the wassailers in on Christmas Eve.- No, wife,
0:03:20 > 0:03:23I'm afraid there I draw the line. I know you love wassailing
0:03:23 > 0:03:27but if any pisslinged village idiot turns up at our door
0:03:27 > 0:03:30with a silly hat and a comedy codpiece claiming to be
0:03:30 > 0:03:33the wicked Turk or bold St George and demanding ale,
0:03:33 > 0:03:37I shall point the back end of Mrs Moo-Moo at him.
0:03:37 > 0:03:40Here I come, bold St George, to kill the wicked Turk.
0:03:40 > 0:03:45- Ha-ha-ha!- I definitely have THE most embarrassing grandad in Stratford.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Oh, it's Christmas, let him have a bit of fun.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51I can't believe you're home this early, Will.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54We're all set for a cosy, family holiday - just us,
0:03:54 > 0:03:55like you promised me.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Absolutely, and we will definitely have a cosy Christmas with
0:03:58 > 0:04:00just us like I promised,
0:04:00 > 0:04:04but it isn't going to start quite yet cos I must return to London.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Back to London before Christmas? Why would you do that?
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Probably got a fancy woman in town.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12That's what blokes usually do at this time of year -
0:04:12 > 0:04:16sneak off to buy a secret present for the mistress.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19Why are you rushing back, Will?
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Well, astonishingly, Dad is sort of right.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24It is a woman and she's about as fancy as you can get.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27I've had such success this year that the Queen has commissioned me
0:04:27 > 0:04:30to produce a play for her Christmas feasting. And I have
0:04:30 > 0:04:33just the thing - I'm going to use that new cross-dressing comedy
0:04:33 > 0:04:35I was telling you all about.
0:04:35 > 0:04:37Another cross-dressing comedy?!
0:04:37 > 0:04:41I think you've gotta ask yourself, why?!
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Doesn't sound very Christmassy to me, Will.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46No, it's got nothing to do with Christmas at all,
0:04:46 > 0:04:49but mark my cleverness I'm going to give it a Christmassy title.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52There be of course 12 days of Christmas
0:04:52 > 0:04:55and so I have called it Eighth Night.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Which is the night on which it is to be performed.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00I did suggest Tenth Night to the royal chamberlain
0:05:00 > 0:05:03but it seems Her Maj is having mates round for charades.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05Never mind all that excitement,
0:05:05 > 0:05:06if you've got a play to rehearse,
0:05:06 > 0:05:08why did you bother coming home at all?
0:05:08 > 0:05:11- To collect monies for the big present.- The big present?
0:05:11 > 0:05:15Oh, yes, I must buy a very beautiful and big, expensive present.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17I would have thought that was obvious.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Well, when you put it like that...
0:05:19 > 0:05:22So I will return to London on the morrow, sort out my play,
0:05:22 > 0:05:25purchase the very big present and then return on Christmas Eve.
0:05:25 > 0:05:29For a lovely family Christmas. We shall gorge till we're queasy.
0:05:29 > 0:05:31We'll quaff till we be squiffy.
0:05:31 > 0:05:36And then we'll all have a massive fight.
0:05:36 > 0:05:39Exactly. A traditional family Christmas.
0:05:42 > 0:05:47I love Christmas, especially the lead-up. So exciting.
0:05:47 > 0:05:50Fasting throughout advent, denying oneself all
0:05:50 > 0:05:52but the most basic sustenance,
0:05:52 > 0:05:55then on Christmas Eve fasting again,
0:05:55 > 0:05:58then waking up on Christmas morn all a-tingle, ready for the big morning
0:05:58 > 0:06:02fast, which gets you in just the right mood for distributing arms
0:06:02 > 0:06:04and washing the feet of the poor.
0:06:04 > 0:06:08It's all so exciting and Christmassy!
0:06:08 > 0:06:11When I were a kid, we had a priest, lovely fella,
0:06:11 > 0:06:14couldn't pronounce his "S" at all, so for years the entire parish
0:06:14 > 0:06:18thought we were meant to fart through advent.
0:06:18 > 0:06:23"Advent," he'd say, "Time to tart farting."
0:06:23 > 0:06:27And we'd all give a big cheer and let rip.
0:06:27 > 0:06:30That is a lovely Christmas story, Bottom.
0:06:30 > 0:06:32Ho-ho-ho-ho!
0:06:32 > 0:06:37All is madness! The fox chases the hound, the master serves the man.
0:06:37 > 0:06:39- It's so funny!- Brilliant!
0:06:39 > 0:06:42But you're very naughty, Mr Marlowe, it's still advent.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45- Merry be not yet begun. - Oh, come on now, Kate.
0:06:45 > 0:06:46No-one waits any more,
0:06:46 > 0:06:50the currants and the clothes have been in the shop since August.
0:06:50 > 0:06:54Ah, Kit, thought that was you ahead of me. Splendid.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56I see you've already got your amusing bells on.
0:06:56 > 0:06:58Yeah, couldn't wait.
0:06:58 > 0:07:01Don't blame you. So amusing!
0:07:01 > 0:07:06But I really can't get too much into the fun stuff just yet.
0:07:06 > 0:07:08I'm off to the Red Lion.
0:07:08 > 0:07:10Burbage is rehearsing my Eighth Night for the Queen.
0:07:10 > 0:07:14- And you need to buy that big, special present.- Absolutely.
0:07:14 > 0:07:17- For your wife, Anne? - Anne? God, no. The Queen.
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Yeah, all that come to court at Christmas must bring
0:07:19 > 0:07:21- the monarch a gift. - And it better be a good one.
0:07:21 > 0:07:24Christmas gifts for the monarch are deeply significant.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27In 1581, Sir Philip Sidney, who had been thought a rebel,
0:07:27 > 0:07:31bought Liz a golden whip which symbolised his recognition
0:07:31 > 0:07:34- of her divine authority.- Yeah, well, that was the official version.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Although the fluffy wrist irons and the card saying
0:07:37 > 0:07:40"I've been a very naughty boy," may suggest a different story.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42I hope you've also given some thought to what you would
0:07:42 > 0:07:44give Mrs Shakespeare, Mr Shakespeare.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Of course, Kate. I've planned something really special.
0:07:47 > 0:07:52Writ have I various verses of love and dedicated all to her.
0:07:52 > 0:07:56I shall place them in a small casket, a jewel box, in fact,
0:07:56 > 0:07:59for was ever there a jewel more sparkling than love?
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Sounds kind of lame, Will.
0:08:01 > 0:08:05I think it's lovely. You'll have a wonderful Christmas.
0:08:05 > 0:08:08We certainly will. I've promised Anne that it'll be just the family.
0:08:08 > 0:08:10Me, Anne, my mum and dad and the kids.
0:08:10 > 0:08:14- Plus Bottom, of course, to do the dishes.- Yes, absolutely.
0:08:14 > 0:08:18- And me.- You, Kit?- Yeah. Yeah, I need a favour. It ain't no thing.
0:08:18 > 0:08:22As you know, I am officially a spy and Walsingham wants me to spend
0:08:22 > 0:08:24Crimble uncovering Catholic masses
0:08:24 > 0:08:26and quite frankly I don't fancy the gig.
0:08:26 > 0:08:30So the plan is to hide out in Stratters, gorge in your tuck,
0:08:30 > 0:08:32quaff in your ale, stroll back into London on the seventh night
0:08:32 > 0:08:34with a bit of pig's blood on the sword
0:08:34 > 0:08:39and tell Wally I've just killed a shed-load of wafer-nibblers.
0:08:39 > 0:08:41Oh, I-I-I see.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44The thing is, I promised Anne.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48- I'd like to help, I honestly would...- It's settled then.
0:08:48 > 0:08:50Oh! You're a pal.
0:08:50 > 0:08:55- Oh. Right.- I must say, it does sound like fun - a big, family Christmas.
0:08:55 > 0:09:00All sat around the turkey stuffed with a goose stuffed with a chicken
0:09:00 > 0:09:04stuffed with a partridge stuffed with a pigeon. So exciting.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07You'll have a wonderful time.
0:09:07 > 0:09:12Child, there be a strange longing and a melancholy in your tone.
0:09:12 > 0:09:15Surely you will also have a family Christmas with your mother?
0:09:15 > 0:09:18No, Mr Shakespeare, she won't be home at Christmas
0:09:18 > 0:09:20because she's a trollopsome tarting scrub who be going for a slap
0:09:20 > 0:09:25and ticklish winter break with her bit of saucy ruffington.
0:09:25 > 0:09:29Goodness. But if your mother be a-slapping and a-ticklishing
0:09:29 > 0:09:34with her saucy ruffington, then you will be alone at Christmas.
0:09:34 > 0:09:36Yes. That's right.
0:09:36 > 0:09:39- All alone.- Yes. Just me.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Apart from when I pop out to distribute arms
0:09:41 > 0:09:43and wash the feet of the poor, of course.
0:09:43 > 0:09:46You mean you've been decking these halls just for yourself?
0:09:46 > 0:09:49Oh, yes, absolutely. Got to do it properly
0:09:49 > 0:09:52and no excuse for not keeping Christmas full merrily.
0:09:52 > 0:09:54Even if it be but for oneself.
0:09:54 > 0:09:59I'm planning a small starling crown stuffed with a sparrow's thigh.
0:09:59 > 0:10:02And I've already made a list of all the carols
0:10:02 > 0:10:06I intend to sing to myself. It's going to be brilliant.
0:10:09 > 0:10:13Kate...would you like to come home to Stratford with us?
0:10:13 > 0:10:16Oh, Mr Shakespeare, that would be wonderful!
0:10:16 > 0:10:19But won't Mrs Shakespeare be upset,
0:10:19 > 0:10:21her heart being set on a family Crimble?
0:10:21 > 0:10:23Hmmm, there's a thought.
0:10:23 > 0:10:27Tell you what, my nan does love the wassailers.
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Thus to be sure of a happy welcome we must all come a-wassailing.
0:10:30 > 0:10:33After all, it's only TWO extra places.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35KNOCK ON DOOR
0:10:35 > 0:10:39It's Robert Greene. Wonder what he wants.
0:10:39 > 0:10:42Hm, yes, if only I had a servant who could go and answer the door,
0:10:42 > 0:10:44then we could find out.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47Merry Christmas to you, too.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52Although I think it's pretty clear, don't you? He means me some harm.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55The Queen's commission to write a Christmas play for the court
0:10:55 > 0:10:59will have eaten into his soul like a weevil through a Christmas stilton.
0:10:59 > 0:11:05Ah, the compliments of the season to you, Mr Shakespeare, Mr Marlowe,
0:11:05 > 0:11:10Miss Kate, and you also, good yeoman, Ned Bottom, is it not?
0:11:10 > 0:11:16Here, take this penny for the birth of our saviour.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19A penny? You're giving me a week's wages?
0:11:19 > 0:11:24Not enough? Take two, good Ned, for if I may paraphrase the old song,
0:11:24 > 0:11:28'tis the season to give lolly.
0:11:30 > 0:11:32This is a bit weird.
0:11:32 > 0:11:35Greene come a-giving arms and a-cracking gags.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37It's gotta be a trick. Careful, mate.
0:11:37 > 0:11:40And thee, Miss Kate, I have a gift for thee also.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44The whisper is you have a poet's soul and yet being a maid
0:11:44 > 0:11:48have no outlet for your talent in this cruel man's world.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51I thought perhaps these fine brushes
0:11:51 > 0:11:55and paints might bring succour to your soul.
0:11:55 > 0:12:01Oh, Mr Greene! I have always dreamed of just such a gift!
0:12:01 > 0:12:04Do you think it would be very naughty of me if I began at once?
0:12:04 > 0:12:07Of course not. And pray, child, what will you paint?
0:12:07 > 0:12:09Why, Mr Greene, I am a girl.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11What else would I use my Christmas present for,
0:12:11 > 0:12:14other than to create a selfington portraiture?
0:12:16 > 0:12:18Come now, Greene, what be the meaning of your mood?
0:12:18 > 0:12:20How is it that you who, in the past,
0:12:20 > 0:12:23have been full of sound and fury like the roaring lion,
0:12:23 > 0:12:27now blow soft and gentle like the flatulent fawn?
0:12:28 > 0:12:30You stand in wonder at my new benevolence.
0:12:30 > 0:12:32I cannot blame you, sirrah.
0:12:32 > 0:12:37The sad truth is that I have been in desperate need of an epiphany.
0:12:37 > 0:12:39Just have one out the window, Mr Greene. We all do.
0:12:39 > 0:12:41Except for Kate.
0:12:41 > 0:12:42Oh, actually, I do if it's dark.
0:12:42 > 0:12:45Every night's a full moon for us girls.
0:12:46 > 0:12:48No, an epiphany, good Ned.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53As when the Christ child was revealed unto the Magi in a stable.
0:12:53 > 0:12:57In a stable, out the window, it all ends up in the same river.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00An epiphany is not a man with a lisp having a "piff", Bottom.
0:13:01 > 0:13:03It means seeing the light.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Have you seen the light, Mr Greene?
0:13:05 > 0:13:09Aye, Mr Shakespeare, I have seen the light...
0:13:09 > 0:13:11in others.
0:13:11 > 0:13:13Darkness in myself.
0:13:13 > 0:13:14Goodness, Mr Greene!
0:13:14 > 0:13:16Did Christ appear to you in a vision?
0:13:16 > 0:13:19No, lady, I was not so blessed.
0:13:19 > 0:13:24My vision was the realisation that I will spend this Christmas all alone.
0:13:24 > 0:13:27For none will make merry with me.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Why is that, do you think?
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Well...
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Come now, do not dissemble, you know the answer.
0:13:35 > 0:13:38Well, you can be a tad abrasive.
0:13:38 > 0:13:41Not always entirely generous or sunny in your outlook.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43A complete and utter bastible.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Exactly. I am despised because I am despicable.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50That was my epiphany.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53I sat alone, watching my servant stuff a turkey with a goose,
0:13:53 > 0:13:55with a chicken, with a partridge, with a pigeon,
0:13:55 > 0:13:58and knew that none but I would share the feast.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02And then did I know myself for the first time...
0:14:02 > 0:14:08be a friendless, lonely, cruel old man.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Oh. Really...
0:14:10 > 0:14:12you're not that bad.
0:14:12 > 0:14:14Actually, he is.
0:14:14 > 0:14:15Definitely.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18And since mine own Christmas must be lonely and miserable,
0:14:18 > 0:14:21I can at least help make others merry,
0:14:21 > 0:14:23and so do I go about the town with gifts,
0:14:23 > 0:14:25before returning to my lonely...
0:14:27 > 0:14:29..solitary Christmas.
0:14:29 > 0:14:32Look, Greene, if...
0:14:32 > 0:14:35if you can show a bit of Christmas spirit, then so can I.
0:14:35 > 0:14:38Would you like to come and spend Christmas with us?
0:14:38 > 0:14:41Glory be!
0:14:41 > 0:14:45I am to have a jolly family Christmas after all.
0:14:45 > 0:14:49Forgive me while I fall to my knees and give thanks.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53Goodness, how amazing!
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Greene's really had an epiphany!
0:14:55 > 0:14:57I think he's taking the epiphany.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00He's a slipperish bug-a-ball and no denying,
0:15:00 > 0:15:01but he seems sincere enough.
0:15:01 > 0:15:05I mean, frankly, who would want to trick their way into your boring family Christmas?
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Oh, I don't know, we Shakespeares know how to party.
0:15:07 > 0:15:12There will be warm ale and pie and all will play Snuffle the Truffle.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14- Ooh! Now, I like the sound of that. - Oh, it's marvellous fun.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17We take a piece of bread to represent the truffle,
0:15:17 > 0:15:20put it on the floor, and then all will play pigs, trying to
0:15:20 > 0:15:25- snuffle at the bread whilst oinking most mightily.- Is there any more?
0:15:25 > 0:15:26Absolutely, we love games.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29After Snuffle the Truffle, we generally play Snaffle the Apple.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33- Oh!- Where we take a piece of bread to represent the apple...- Yeah.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36..place it on the floor, and then all will play donkeys,
0:15:36 > 0:15:40trying to snaffle the apple whilst braying most mightily.
0:15:40 > 0:15:42Then there's Make Merry with the Berry, where we
0:15:42 > 0:15:45take a piece of bread to represent to represent the berry...
0:15:45 > 0:15:50Yes, I think we get it. The point is, do we trust Greene? Kate?
0:15:50 > 0:15:51Kate, what do you think?
0:15:51 > 0:15:54Oh, I think it's wonderful that Mr Greene has had an epi...
0:15:54 > 0:15:56an epi...
0:15:56 > 0:15:57Kate, what... What ails thee?
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Thy breasts be pushed forward
0:15:59 > 0:16:03and thy face be frozen in a pouty, kissy manner.
0:16:03 > 0:16:06It just feels instinctively like the right pose
0:16:06 > 0:16:09for a girlie selfington portraiture.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11I don't know why, it just does.
0:16:15 > 0:16:18This Eighth Night is his silliest yet.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20The plot is simply potty!
0:16:20 > 0:16:21If this is Eighth Night,
0:16:21 > 0:16:23I'd hate to think what the first seven were like!
0:16:23 > 0:16:25Good morrow, all.
0:16:25 > 0:16:27I see you have my play. What do you think? Loving it?
0:16:27 > 0:16:30Well, if I'm honest, Will, we're a bit disappointed.
0:16:30 > 0:16:31Disappointed?
0:16:31 > 0:16:34When you told us you were writing a play for the Royal Christmas Revels,
0:16:34 > 0:16:37we thought it would be all lovely and warm and Christmassy.
0:16:37 > 0:16:39Yet you deliver a farrago of nonsense about a brother
0:16:39 > 0:16:42and sister washed up on a foreign shore,
0:16:42 > 0:16:43each thinking each other dead.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46That's not Christmassy. That's, like, mad un-Christmassy.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Well, I think it's a terrible missed opportunity.
0:16:48 > 0:16:51This be naught but a laughable ragbag of songs,
0:16:51 > 0:16:53silly misunderstandings, a girl dressed as a boy
0:16:53 > 0:16:55and a lot of characters with silly names!
0:16:55 > 0:16:58Who would ever want a show like that at Christmas?
0:17:00 > 0:17:04But Mr Condell, you are to play my divine Viola in the comedy.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06So, it is a comedy?
0:17:06 > 0:17:07Of course it's a comedy!
0:17:07 > 0:17:10You can tell, because there are characters with funny names.
0:17:10 > 0:17:11That's how I let people know.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13And this one's got some corkers.
0:17:13 > 0:17:15Sir Toby Belch!
0:17:15 > 0:17:18I mean, come on! So funny.
0:17:19 > 0:17:24- Yes. But funny names aside, the plot is very complex.- Complex?
0:17:24 > 0:17:28- How is it complex?- Well, at the start, Viola loves Orsino.
0:17:28 > 0:17:32Yes, Viola loves Orsino, it's hardly Chinese firework science.
0:17:32 > 0:17:33But Orsino loves Olivia.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35And Olivia loves Viola.
0:17:35 > 0:17:38Viola is of course a woman, but Olivia thinks Viola is a man,
0:17:38 > 0:17:42because hilariously, Viola is wearing men's clothes!
0:17:42 > 0:17:44So funny.
0:17:44 > 0:17:47But then Viola's brother, Sebastian, turns up,
0:17:47 > 0:17:50dressed in exactly the same clothes as his sister.
0:17:50 > 0:17:52They have to be dressed the same for the comedy to work.
0:17:52 > 0:17:55So, it definitely is a comedy?
0:17:55 > 0:17:57Yes, it's a comedy!
0:17:57 > 0:17:59It's a very convoluted comedy.
0:17:59 > 0:18:00How can you say that?
0:18:00 > 0:18:04Olivia sees Sebastian, thinks he's Viola and marries him on the spot.
0:18:04 > 0:18:06Orsino, who of course loves Olivia,
0:18:06 > 0:18:09is furious to discover she's married Sebastian.
0:18:09 > 0:18:10Viola returns,
0:18:10 > 0:18:13meaning that Olivia now appears to have two identical husbands.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16Viola takes off her cap and shakes out her hair.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19Orsino forgets Olivia and marries Viola.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21Olivia is of course already married to Sebastian,
0:18:21 > 0:18:23even though she thought she was married to Viola,
0:18:23 > 0:18:25and the two couples live happily ever after.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27How is that convoluted?
0:18:29 > 0:18:31Now, rehearse the play as it is writ,
0:18:31 > 0:18:34and I'll see you on Eighth Night.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Positions!
0:18:38 > 0:18:40Give us a hand with this Yule log, will you, Mary?
0:18:40 > 0:18:43You know how you like handling my wood! Ha-ha!
0:18:44 > 0:18:48You're a common man, John Shakespeare, a very common man.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50And you love it!
0:18:50 > 0:18:52I am the Lord of Misrule
0:18:52 > 0:18:55and I can order you to do any naughty thing I like!
0:18:55 > 0:18:59You cannot order me to do anything, John Shakespeare.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01But you could try asking nicely.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05Shut up! Gross! I want to be sick!
0:19:06 > 0:19:09Old people do still do it, you know, Susanna.
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Urgh! I'm not listening! Urgh!
0:19:11 > 0:19:14Come on, Susanna, help me peel these parsnips.
0:19:14 > 0:19:17I've still to stuff the turkey with the goose, with the chicken,
0:19:17 > 0:19:21with the partridge, with the pigeon, and we expect your father
0:19:21 > 0:19:27at any moment, home for a nice, quiet family Christmas with just us.
0:19:28 > 0:19:32Yep, and with that great big special present he was talking about!
0:19:32 > 0:19:35# Here we come a-wassailing among the leaves so green
0:19:35 > 0:19:38# Here we come a-wandering so fairly to be seen
0:19:38 > 0:19:41# Love and joy come to you, and to you your wassail too
0:19:41 > 0:19:45# And God bless you and send you a Happy New Year
0:19:45 > 0:19:48# And God send you a Happy New Year. #
0:19:50 > 0:19:52Brilliant! Well done, son.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54I never knew you had it in you!
0:19:54 > 0:19:56But I thought you hated the wassailers
0:19:56 > 0:19:58who come a-begging ale and pie?
0:19:58 > 0:20:00We're not begging, Mum, I live here!
0:20:00 > 0:20:03It's my ale and my pie, and I say let's get stuck in!
0:20:03 > 0:20:05THEY CHEER
0:20:05 > 0:20:07Good wife, I know I promised a quiet Christmas,
0:20:07 > 0:20:11but Kate and Marlowe and Master Greene had nowhere left to go.
0:20:11 > 0:20:14Well, it is the season of goodwill, and you did come a-wassailing,
0:20:14 > 0:20:17and you have got me a lovely big present.
0:20:17 > 0:20:19Oh, yes, Anne, a lovely one which is as big
0:20:19 > 0:20:22and bursting with love as my heart.
0:20:22 > 0:20:25Oh, well, in that case, Merry Christmas, one and all!
0:20:26 > 0:20:28- Hello, Sue.- Oh, you're not going to be weird, are you?
0:20:28 > 0:20:31Oh, no, absolutely not.
0:20:31 > 0:20:34I know that in the past, my neediness has been alienating,
0:20:34 > 0:20:36but since then, I've grown as a person,
0:20:36 > 0:20:41learned to love myself and say, hey, it's all right to be me.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44And what part of not being weird is that not being?
0:20:45 > 0:20:47Can we be friends?
0:20:47 > 0:20:49I dunno! Not sure.
0:20:49 > 0:20:51It's just, I got some paints and brushes for Christmas,
0:20:51 > 0:20:54and I thought I might do a cheeky portraiture of thine visage.
0:20:54 > 0:20:56Well, in that case - brilliant!
0:20:56 > 0:20:57KATE SQUEALS
0:20:57 > 0:20:59Christmas girlie fun!
0:20:59 > 0:21:01I'm so happy, I could cry!
0:21:01 > 0:21:04So, just hold that pose for two hours.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
0:21:10 > 0:21:13I am the Lord of Misrule,
0:21:13 > 0:21:17and I order all to eat, drink and be merry!
0:21:17 > 0:21:18THEY CHEER
0:21:18 > 0:21:21No need for orders, my lord, happy to oblige!
0:21:22 > 0:21:25Right, when I drop the truffle,
0:21:25 > 0:21:28everybody snuffle!
0:21:28 > 0:21:30THEY MAKE OINKING NOISES
0:21:30 > 0:21:35Step will I a yard or two aside and speak my most private thoughts,
0:21:35 > 0:21:39which by strict convention, none will hear.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Look at them!
0:21:41 > 0:21:47With their imbecilic laughter, their pathetic good fellowship and fun.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50Little do they know that even as they barf and bray,
0:21:50 > 0:21:54caught are they in my web of lies and plots.
0:21:54 > 0:21:59For I am come hither this Christmas to destroy the crow!
0:21:59 > 0:22:03He has bought a jewel as a present for the Queen.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05And I intend to steal it.
0:22:05 > 0:22:08Without a gift for the monarch, his play will instantly be cancelled.
0:22:08 > 0:22:11And likely, too, will his life be forfeit.
0:22:11 > 0:22:16But soft. As ever, fortune favours the Cambridge man.
0:22:16 > 0:22:19Why, the shrewish milking slap hath done my work for me,
0:22:19 > 0:22:22uncovered hath she the very thing that I would filch.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Later, when all be in bed,
0:22:24 > 0:22:29will I steal that jewel and be gone from this foul hovel.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32And tomorrow, will I be alone in my mansion,
0:22:32 > 0:22:36feasting on turkey stuffed with goose, stuffed with chicken,
0:22:36 > 0:22:38stuffed with partridge, stuffed with pigeon,
0:22:38 > 0:22:41which I will have all to myself.
0:22:41 > 0:22:43Mmm!
0:22:44 > 0:22:47You're right, Will.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49This is a blooming good game!
0:22:49 > 0:22:51You wait til we play Snaffle the Apple!
0:23:02 > 0:23:05Ah! Greene. Need another drink, eh? Me too.
0:23:05 > 0:23:08Let's have a nasty lasty together, eh?
0:23:08 > 0:23:10Two varsity roisters quaffing as one!
0:23:10 > 0:23:12Ah! Gladly, sirrah.
0:23:12 > 0:23:16Once more will I step a yard or two aside and speak my most private
0:23:16 > 0:23:20thoughts which, by strict convention, cannot be overheard.
0:23:20 > 0:23:25This Marlowe is second only to Shakespeare in my loathing.
0:23:25 > 0:23:28I will share with him this nasty lasty and
0:23:28 > 0:23:31perchance discover means to do him harm.
0:23:31 > 0:23:33Well, it's all very pleasant isn't it, eh?
0:23:33 > 0:23:36- Quaffing and a-gorging in the country.- Hmm, yes.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38'Tis tremendous FUN.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42And yet, Mr Marlowe, I cannot help but ask myself, would not a famous
0:23:42 > 0:23:47roister such as yourself prefer a rather wilder Christmas in London?
0:23:47 > 0:23:49You know I would!
0:23:49 > 0:23:52I mean, left to myself, I'd be nibbling mince pies betwixt the arse
0:23:52 > 0:23:55and cleavage of a gladsome, Yuletide saucing slap.
0:23:56 > 0:23:57But let me tell you,
0:23:57 > 0:24:01hiding out here is a damn sight more pleasant than hunting Catholics!
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Oh, joy. I see his head already on the block.
0:24:04 > 0:24:08But, Mr Marlowe, be you skiving off, sirrah?
0:24:08 > 0:24:12Had Walsingham a Christmas mission for you?
0:24:12 > 0:24:16Oops! Shouldn't have said that! But er... Yeah. I'm on a skive.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18I mean, if Walsingham ever found out, I'd be for it,
0:24:18 > 0:24:22but he's not going to, as I am too smart.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25I may look thick, but I got a pretty canny head on my shoulders.
0:24:25 > 0:24:27Mmm. It won't be on your shoulders for long.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37- It's Christmas! - Yeah, time for presents!
0:24:37 > 0:24:38Ooh.
0:24:38 > 0:24:42Well, perchance there be some sweet meats or maybe a toy or two,
0:24:42 > 0:24:46but we should have them in front of the Yule log with Nan and Gramps.
0:24:46 > 0:24:48Oh, come on, Mum. Let's have them now, just us.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51- Well, maybe just one. - Here's one for you, Mum.
0:24:51 > 0:24:54Oh, no, no, no. I want to choose my own,
0:24:54 > 0:24:57and I know EXACTLY the one I want.
0:24:57 > 0:25:00If your dad's put it in here! And I see he has.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02Yes, I have, my dearest Anne.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05'Tis something from my very heart.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10A bit of paper?!
0:25:10 > 0:25:13Poems, my love. I have writ some verse for thee.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19Are you all right, my sweet?
0:25:19 > 0:25:20Yeah. Lovely.
0:25:20 > 0:25:24Um, if you'd like to take the kids downstairs, Will, get them
0:25:24 > 0:25:26ready for the feasting, and...
0:25:26 > 0:25:28I just need a moment.
0:25:28 > 0:25:31All right, come on, kids! Let's go and light a fire.
0:25:31 > 0:25:33Bring the presents.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07Where is Robert Greene? I have something for him.
0:26:07 > 0:26:10He was drinking pretty late with Marlowe.
0:26:10 > 0:26:11I imagine they're still in bed.
0:26:11 > 0:26:14We must drink him a toast! More ale!
0:26:15 > 0:26:17If you were in my position...
0:26:17 > 0:26:18..what would you do?
0:26:18 > 0:26:20What position is that?
0:26:20 > 0:26:23Well, imagine that your husband had bought a gold necklace and,
0:26:23 > 0:26:26come Christmas, he gave it to somebody else.
0:26:26 > 0:26:28Hmm, yes, that's right. The Queen.
0:26:29 > 0:26:31I mean, would you...
0:26:31 > 0:26:34..would you wait to find out if it was just a necklace...
0:26:34 > 0:26:36..if it was sex and a necklace, or...
0:26:36 > 0:26:38..worst of all, if it was...
0:26:38 > 0:26:39..a necklace and love?
0:26:39 > 0:26:42It's none of those things. It's a necklace for the Queen.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44Would you stay?
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Knowing that things would always be a little bit worse?
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Or would you cut and run?
0:26:50 > 0:26:51The Queen?
0:26:53 > 0:26:55As you know, every person who comes to court at Christmas must
0:26:55 > 0:26:57give a gift on pain of death.
0:26:57 > 0:26:59Thus have I spent nearly half a year's
0:26:59 > 0:27:02income on a necklace for she who already has enough necklaces
0:27:02 > 0:27:05to satisfy a particularly vain and shallow giraffe.
0:27:07 > 0:27:09- You bought a necklace for the Queen?- Absolutely.
0:27:09 > 0:27:13But do you know, wife, I care not a single jot for the money it cost,
0:27:13 > 0:27:18for when I look at you I know have all the riches in the world.
0:27:18 > 0:27:21I've tried to express something along those lines in the poems
0:27:21 > 0:27:22I gave you in the little casket.
0:27:22 > 0:27:24Aww!
0:27:26 > 0:27:29Sorry, Mrs Shakespeare, probably shouldn't be reading this,
0:27:29 > 0:27:31but it was just on the table, and...
0:27:31 > 0:27:34They are SO beautiful.
0:27:34 > 0:27:37Soppy, but beautiful.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40No, no, Kate, that's fine.
0:27:40 > 0:27:42Perhaps you wouldn't mind reading them to me, you know,
0:27:42 > 0:27:43seeing as how I can't.
0:27:43 > 0:27:47They're just fragments, work in progress.
0:27:47 > 0:27:51"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53"I love thee to the depth and breadth
0:27:53 > 0:27:56"and height my soul can reach.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59"My bounty is as boundless as the sea.
0:27:59 > 0:28:01"My love is deep.
0:28:01 > 0:28:06"The more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite."
0:28:06 > 0:28:10Oh! Fine verse indeed, Will.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12He gets it from my side, of course.
0:28:13 > 0:28:16"Whoever loved that loved not at first sight?"
0:28:16 > 0:28:20Dad! That's, like, TOTALLY beautiful.
0:28:20 > 0:28:24And another of my phrases destined, in my view, to enter common usage.
0:28:24 > 0:28:27"Doubt thou the stars are fire.
0:28:27 > 0:28:29"Doubt that the sun doth move.
0:28:29 > 0:28:32"Doubt truth to be a liar.
0:28:32 > 0:28:34"But never doubt, I love."
0:28:37 > 0:28:38What a load of crappage.
0:28:40 > 0:28:44"Move" does not rhyme with "love".
0:28:45 > 0:28:49Mrs S, I think you just got the best Christmas present
0:28:49 > 0:28:52since the shepherds pledged only their hearts to the infant Jesus.
0:28:52 > 0:28:53Yes.
0:28:53 > 0:28:57And I shall carry it with me forever. I will never let it go.
0:28:57 > 0:28:59Aw, Will!
0:28:59 > 0:29:01I don't deserve you.
0:29:03 > 0:29:04No, Anne - I don't deserve you.
0:29:04 > 0:29:09But use any man after his dessert and who should escape whipping?
0:29:09 > 0:29:11Everyone deserves to be loved!
0:29:11 > 0:29:14I beg to differ, Mr Shakespeare.
0:29:14 > 0:29:16Some deserve only to HANG.
0:29:16 > 0:29:19Oh, merry Christmas, all right, when's the first drink?
0:29:19 > 0:29:21- Now a good time?- Guards, arrest him!
0:29:21 > 0:29:23What the devil's toenails?!
0:29:23 > 0:29:27Your drunken witterings hath condemned you, sirrah.
0:29:27 > 0:29:31When Walsingham discovers your desertion of duty,
0:29:31 > 0:29:33your head will be forfeit.
0:29:33 > 0:29:36But... Greene, I thought you'd gone all nice!
0:29:36 > 0:29:40Hmm. For a self-proclaimed genius, you know little of human nature!
0:29:40 > 0:29:43- I think history's going to prove you wrong on that one. - Remove the prisoner!
0:29:43 > 0:29:45Now, don't worry, Kit -
0:29:45 > 0:29:47I am to attend the Queen this eighth night, and will surely win
0:29:47 > 0:29:51her favour with my enchanting comedy of various nobles
0:29:51 > 0:29:53falling in love with the wrong people.
0:29:53 > 0:29:55I imagine once she's finished laughing at the name
0:29:55 > 0:29:59Sir Toby Belch, she'll be happy to grant me any favour I ask.
0:29:59 > 0:30:01Oh, Bolingbrokes. I'm doomed.
0:30:06 > 0:30:10I just don't see how we can make it work. We don't look a bit alike.
0:30:10 > 0:30:12It's lame.
0:30:13 > 0:30:16So lame. I mean, proper lame, like, mad lame.
0:30:16 > 0:30:17I know, but Eighth Night approaches,
0:30:17 > 0:30:19and we have no choice but to rehearse.
0:30:19 > 0:30:22Oh, but you do, sirrah! Indeed, you must,
0:30:22 > 0:30:24for I have it on good authority that
0:30:24 > 0:30:27Mr Shakespeare has bought no gift for Her Majesty.
0:30:27 > 0:30:32No gift? He intends to go before the Queen at Christmas with no gift?
0:30:32 > 0:30:34We may forget the play. He will be lucky to keep his head!
0:30:34 > 0:30:36And likewise us, Mr Burbage,
0:30:36 > 0:30:38for we will certainly be cast aside with him
0:30:38 > 0:30:40- if we give his Eighth Night. - But we are booked to perform!
0:30:40 > 0:30:42We must have a play!
0:30:42 > 0:30:46Well now, sirrah, it just so happens I have with me copies of...
0:30:46 > 0:30:50- Bungay and Bacon, Mr Greene? - Bacon and Bungay, Mr Burbage.
0:30:50 > 0:30:53My very own Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay.
0:31:08 > 0:31:10She's just so, you know, real.
0:31:10 > 0:31:13Just like one of us. She's the People's Queen.
0:31:13 > 0:31:17I honestly think that if I knew her, we'd be friends.
0:31:17 > 0:31:20Yes, I'm wondering on what evidence you're basing
0:31:20 > 0:31:23this fantastical analysis of the nature of class and power.
0:31:23 > 0:31:25She works bloody hard!
0:31:25 > 0:31:29- On being a tyrannical despot. - Well, I wouldn't want the job.
0:31:29 > 0:31:33What? The job of being incredibly rich and all-powerful?
0:31:33 > 0:31:37Every day, she has to keep scowling. She can never let it drop.
0:31:37 > 0:31:38We expect it of her.
0:31:38 > 0:31:42Whatever she's doing, opening pageants, cutting off heads,
0:31:42 > 0:31:44murdering the Irish...
0:31:44 > 0:31:47Always with a scowl, and you never hear her complain.
0:31:47 > 0:31:49Because if she ever did complain,
0:31:49 > 0:31:51you'd be the first to hear about it, wouldn't you?
0:31:51 > 0:31:53"Does the Queen have a complaint? I don't know.
0:31:53 > 0:31:55"Let's ask Anne Shakespeare.
0:31:55 > 0:31:58"She lives in a cottage in Warwickshire, so she'd know."
0:31:58 > 0:32:01Oh, you can sneer. But I think she's wonderful.
0:32:01 > 0:32:04KNOCKING
0:32:04 > 0:32:07Her Majesty the Queen.
0:32:07 > 0:32:11FANFARE
0:32:17 > 0:32:23We live in a wounded and divided country.
0:32:23 > 0:32:27Ever must we make windows into men's souls,
0:32:27 > 0:32:31and oftentimes kill them for what we find there.
0:32:31 > 0:32:33I have known fear.
0:32:34 > 0:32:40When a child, I was dismissed and despised.
0:32:40 > 0:32:42I was female.
0:32:43 > 0:32:45I was Protestant.
0:32:45 > 0:32:49And I was a ginge.
0:32:51 > 0:32:55Now, I am Queen, and it is I who must decide who is to be despised.
0:32:55 > 0:32:59But it is Christmas, and so I say good will to all,
0:32:59 > 0:33:02particularly gingers.
0:33:05 > 0:33:08Master of the Revels, how are we to proceed this e'en?
0:33:08 > 0:33:11Your Majesty, the poet Shakespeare is to present his gift
0:33:11 > 0:33:15prior to the performance of his play.
0:33:15 > 0:33:18Step forward, poet, with your gift.
0:33:18 > 0:33:21Also, if possible, a receipt of purchase.
0:33:26 > 0:33:28BELL TOLLS
0:33:41 > 0:33:44Your Majesty, I... I can't. It's not...
0:33:47 > 0:33:49Have a care, Mr Shakespeare.
0:33:49 > 0:33:51If you do not bring a gift,
0:33:51 > 0:33:54Christmas custom dictates that you must give your head!
0:33:54 > 0:33:58Be it ever a most difficult shape to wrap.
0:34:04 > 0:34:07- Your Majesty, I... I do have a gift.- Oh.
0:34:17 > 0:34:20- Your Majesty...- Ahhh! - (Sorry, Your Majesty.)
0:34:37 > 0:34:39Thank you, Master Shakespeare.
0:34:40 > 0:34:42It is a beautiful gift.
0:34:42 > 0:34:46Whomsoever you do love is a lucky woman indeed.
0:34:47 > 0:34:52- Majesty, I... I love thee, as do all thy subjects.- Yes, I know.
0:34:52 > 0:34:56They have to. When they're not trying to kill me.
0:34:56 > 0:35:00The love contained within your verse is of a different order.
0:35:00 > 0:35:04It speaks not of duty, nor yet of fear.
0:35:04 > 0:35:09It is the love felt by one person for just one other,
0:35:09 > 0:35:11given freely and unselfishly.
0:35:13 > 0:35:16Such a love is not for me, for I am married to England.
0:35:17 > 0:35:20And though all the nation be my spouse...
0:35:21 > 0:35:24..I am ever the loneliest person in the realm.
0:35:26 > 0:35:27I thank you, sir...
0:35:28 > 0:35:31..for this little window into love.
0:35:33 > 0:35:38And now, there is to be a play presented, is there not?
0:35:38 > 0:35:40Yes, absolutely, Your Majesty.
0:35:40 > 0:35:44Mr Burbage and his men stand ready to present my sublime new piece,
0:35:44 > 0:35:45Eighth Night.
0:35:47 > 0:35:50'Tis strange, Mr Greene, 'tis passing strange.
0:35:50 > 0:35:52My gentle lady did tell she o'erheard the players
0:35:52 > 0:35:56rehearsing your appalling old chestnut Backache and Bogey.
0:35:56 > 0:35:57Bacon and Bungay, Your Majesty.
0:35:57 > 0:35:59Lucky for you the rumour was false.
0:35:59 > 0:36:02Had I thought for one minute you'd try to slip your Bogey play
0:36:02 > 0:36:06into my Yuletide schedule, I would have had everyone involved beheaded!
0:36:06 > 0:36:11Truth is, sirrah, I am in no mood for comedy this e'en.
0:36:11 > 0:36:15Mr Shakespeare, kindly present your Eighth Night another season.
0:36:15 > 0:36:20I will to my royal chamber, there to be alone, and read again
0:36:20 > 0:36:26these poems that speak so eloquently of a love I'll never know.
0:36:29 > 0:36:33See? I told you she was burdened down by duty and worry.
0:36:33 > 0:36:35It ain't no doddlin' skive being queen.
0:36:36 > 0:36:41E'er I leave, poet, must I make thee a gift, as is the custom.
0:36:41 > 0:36:43What would you? Monies, titles, speak.
0:36:43 > 0:36:46Your Majesty, not riches, nor a title.
0:36:46 > 0:36:50There sits in the tower the poet Kit Marlowe,
0:36:50 > 0:36:54falsely accused of malingering, when actually, he had a tummy ache.
0:36:55 > 0:37:00I offer you all that men desire, and you would help a friend?
0:37:00 > 0:37:03Well, it... It is Christmas, after all.
0:37:03 > 0:37:07Yes, Mr Shakespeare. It is Christmas.
0:37:08 > 0:37:11Mr Marlowe shall be freed.
0:37:11 > 0:37:14Now I bid good night to all.
0:37:14 > 0:37:17I will hie me to my lonely chamber,
0:37:17 > 0:37:19there to lie back
0:37:19 > 0:37:22and think of England.
0:37:22 > 0:37:25APPLAUSE
0:37:25 > 0:37:29Give me my futtocking necklace now, you thieving Barstible!
0:37:31 > 0:37:32Merry Christmas, darling!
0:37:34 > 0:37:37Oh, Will! It's stunning.
0:37:38 > 0:37:41But I'd much rather have my poems.
0:37:41 > 0:37:44Don't worry. There's plenty more where those came from.
0:37:48 > 0:37:52Well, husband. It's been a wonderful Christmas.
0:37:52 > 0:37:53Yes, it has.
0:37:53 > 0:37:55And now, it be twelfth night.
0:37:55 > 0:37:58Tomorrow is Plough Monday, and work begins again.
0:37:59 > 0:38:01Twelfth Night?
0:38:01 > 0:38:04It's got a lovely ring to it, hasn't it?
0:38:04 > 0:38:06A bit better than Eighth Night, if you want my opinion.
0:38:06 > 0:38:08There may be something in what you say.
0:38:08 > 0:38:11Easy to change, since cleverly,
0:38:11 > 0:38:13the title has literally nothing to do with the play.
0:38:16 > 0:38:20- Shame you never got to see it performed.- It'll keep.
0:38:20 > 0:38:22Might shelve it for a few years, anyway.
0:38:22 > 0:38:23Not sure the world's ready for
0:38:23 > 0:38:26a non-gender specific trans comedy yet.
0:38:28 > 0:38:29It will be one day, doll.
0:38:29 > 0:38:32You're just a bit ahead of your time, that's all.
0:38:32 > 0:38:34Happy Christmas.
0:38:34 > 0:38:36Happy Christmas.
0:38:36 > 0:38:39Peace on earth and goodwill to all men.
0:38:39 > 0:38:41- And women. - Of course!
0:38:41 > 0:38:45And also, those who, like my Viola, aren't exactly sure.