0:00:22 > 0:00:25- I remember what it was like at Uni. - Do you?
0:00:25 > 0:00:29Two types of girl, broadly speaking -
0:00:29 > 0:00:31your gauche, inexperienced type,
0:00:31 > 0:00:34eager to learn a thing or two now they'd escaped their parents.
0:00:34 > 0:00:36I've got a horrible feeling you mean sexually.
0:00:36 > 0:00:40- Or slappers - that's the other type. - Which, presumably, you preferred.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48It is completely reprehensible of you
0:00:48 > 0:00:51to reduce women to being either virgins or whores.
0:00:51 > 0:00:52No it's not. You wait.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55This dead girl - it'll be because of her involvement
0:00:55 > 0:00:58in some sordid sexual underground university club.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00In your dreams.
0:01:00 > 0:01:04Unless... We're in the library. Maybe it was Professor Plum?
0:01:07 > 0:01:11- Hey.- Hey. Right, Laura Edwards.
0:01:11 > 0:01:1320 years old.
0:01:13 > 0:01:15Was found this morning by the librarian when he opened up.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18Her parents are in Derby. They have been informed.
0:01:18 > 0:01:20The Provost and Dean know.
0:01:20 > 0:01:22What was she studying?
0:01:22 > 0:01:25English Literature and Gender Studies.
0:01:25 > 0:01:26Gender what?
0:01:26 > 0:01:28Studies. Studying Gender.
0:01:28 > 0:01:30It's a course.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33What, you mean study people's gender?
0:01:33 > 0:01:36- It's not going to be what you think. - Women and Gender Studies.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39Studying women?
0:01:39 > 0:01:42I think we all know what mark I'd get if I was doing that.
0:01:42 > 0:01:46We certainly do. It's not going to be about studying women's bits,
0:01:46 > 0:01:49it'll be about the difference between masculinity and femininity.
0:01:49 > 0:01:50What, you can study that?
0:01:50 > 0:01:54- You know, the role that gender plays in culture and politics.- Seriously?
0:01:54 > 0:01:58Feminism. That's probably part of it. You won't have heard of that.
0:01:58 > 0:02:04Right, well let's work out how the student tottie bought it.
0:02:46 > 0:02:50Did she fall or was she pushed?
0:02:50 > 0:02:54I mean, you don't fall over something like this, do you?
0:02:54 > 0:02:56God, libraries are boring, aren't they?
0:02:56 > 0:02:58I don't know.
0:02:58 > 0:03:01I've always found them to be full of sexual tension.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09- Laura's tutor is Professor Donna Hunt.- Yeah?
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Well, we should go and talk to her.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21Right, can we have the photographer up here,
0:03:21 > 0:03:23take a few snaps?
0:03:23 > 0:03:26- Yeah, I'll be right up.- Great.
0:03:26 > 0:03:27Here she is.
0:03:27 > 0:03:30She's a highly regarded post-feminist,
0:03:30 > 0:03:35specialising in Lesbian, Gay, Bi-sexual, Transgender Questioning.
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Transgender what? Lesbi-who questioning?
0:03:38 > 0:03:43She also writes a column in Perverse Modernity magazine.
0:03:43 > 0:03:46And she's had numerous research residencies.
0:03:46 > 0:03:51OK, her three definitive books are - Queer Seeking Missile.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Crossing the Lesbicon,
0:03:56 > 0:03:59and Wearing White Pants.
0:03:59 > 0:04:02Just don't, OK, please, don't.
0:04:02 > 0:04:04I'm not. I'm not, all right.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08This is a serious subject. She's a serious academic woman.
0:04:08 > 0:04:10Yup, sorry. Dead girl.
0:04:10 > 0:04:12Serious.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15- Let's do it. - After you.
0:04:21 > 0:04:24Laura loved the course.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26She was especially fascinated by cultures
0:04:26 > 0:04:29that play with traditional notions
0:04:29 > 0:04:32of the insertive and receptive sexual partner.
0:04:32 > 0:04:33I bet she was.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38I mean I bet she was...
0:04:38 > 0:04:42very good at both insertive and receptive sex.
0:04:42 > 0:04:46On the course. As part of the course. With you. Not with you!
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Yes, with you, both intellectually and theoretically.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52But not, you know...
0:04:55 > 0:04:56What I'm saying is...
0:04:57 > 0:05:01What I'm saying is - was she a bit of a slap...
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Was she someone who had a lot of sex with men,
0:05:08 > 0:05:11who could also be suspects?
0:05:11 > 0:05:13I don't think so.
0:05:13 > 0:05:15Or women?
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Because I don't want to be offensive and I know this is your,
0:05:18 > 0:05:19you know this is your special area,
0:05:19 > 0:05:23and a very sensitive one so, er, you know,
0:05:23 > 0:05:24and especially if she was a...
0:05:30 > 0:05:33We need to draw up a full list of possible suspects.
0:05:33 > 0:05:37Yeah. Which may include women. Especially if she was...
0:05:37 > 0:05:39I'm not going to dignify that
0:05:39 > 0:05:41and I don't understand how you'd
0:05:41 > 0:05:43expect me to know about her private life.
0:05:43 > 0:05:44What he's asking is -
0:05:44 > 0:05:48are you aware of anyone who may have had a reason to hurt Laura?
0:05:48 > 0:05:51Yeah, that's right. That's what I was saying.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53No, I'm not.
0:05:53 > 0:05:56Did you ever...discuss anything outside the course?
0:05:56 > 0:06:00Did she ever express any worries or fears that she had about anyone?
0:06:00 > 0:06:02Er...a boyfriend?
0:06:02 > 0:06:05- Or a girlfriend? I was definitely saying that.- No she didn't.
0:06:05 > 0:06:06Or a homosexual man?
0:06:06 > 0:06:11A gay man with whom she had sex. Despite him being gay?
0:06:11 > 0:06:16I am not aware of anyone who wanted to hurt Laura, let alone kill her.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19She was much loved by everyone.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22By my colleagues and fellow students alike.
0:06:22 > 0:06:24There are some strange cliques
0:06:24 > 0:06:26at Universities, of course.
0:06:26 > 0:06:27How do you mean?
0:06:27 > 0:06:31You mean strange social clubs? Or religious groups?
0:06:31 > 0:06:35I suspect you don't have much experience of University.
0:06:36 > 0:06:40Students tend to form little tribes
0:06:40 > 0:06:43as a means to define themselves. They always have.
0:06:43 > 0:06:46And which tribe was Laura a member of?
0:06:46 > 0:06:48I don't know.
0:06:48 > 0:06:53I spend most of my time teaching grad students or doing research.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56You'd have to ask her friends.
0:06:59 > 0:07:00We will.
0:07:05 > 0:07:08That's the post-mortem report on Laura.
0:07:08 > 0:07:12Erm, Laura's English tutor
0:07:12 > 0:07:13- this bloke -
0:07:13 > 0:07:16is back Monday.
0:07:16 > 0:07:20I spoke to him. He's doing some talk up in the Lake District all week.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22- So he says.- Thanks, Tony. - No problems, babe.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26Thanks for that unique insight into the student world, Naz.
0:07:26 > 0:07:27I'm off. I've got a date.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31Girl called Danielle.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33We're off to the football. Her idea.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Have a nice time.
0:07:35 > 0:07:40Right, I'm off, too. If you find anything, call me.
0:07:40 > 0:07:44- OK.- So, er, so, what are you up to this weekend?
0:07:44 > 0:07:45Hmm. This and that, you know.
0:07:45 > 0:07:48I ought to do some work, really. Sort out my docket.
0:07:48 > 0:07:49- File these crime reports.- Yeah?
0:07:49 > 0:07:52Don't you get dates off the internet? Why don't you do that?
0:07:52 > 0:07:54I don't feel like spending my evening with someone
0:07:54 > 0:07:56who'll depress me and make me realise
0:07:56 > 0:07:59I've spent 30 years on this planet without encountering anyone
0:07:59 > 0:08:00I'm even remotely attracted to.
0:08:00 > 0:08:01And I need to do some laundry.
0:08:01 > 0:08:04Well you're not going to meet anyone if you don't go out.
0:08:04 > 0:08:06I don't really want to meet anyone.
0:08:06 > 0:08:09You know. I just think if someone's going to come along,
0:08:09 > 0:08:10they'll come along.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13So, I've stopped looking. I just can't be bothered.
0:08:13 > 0:08:14Is that bad?
0:08:14 > 0:08:17I'm just... I'm fed up with the whole thing, really, you know?
0:08:17 > 0:08:20Fed up with meeting men who all turn out to be arseholes.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22Yeah, what about a woman? Have you ever tried a woman?
0:08:22 > 0:08:23Are you going to eat that?
0:08:23 > 0:08:29All I want is someone manly, kind, and gorgeous, who makes me laugh.
0:08:29 > 0:08:32Who's got a great job. Something ethical,
0:08:32 > 0:08:34I don't know, but that he's passionate about
0:08:34 > 0:08:35and he makes money out of it.
0:08:35 > 0:08:39And he knows when to act like a kid, and when to act like a man.
0:08:39 > 0:08:40And he's taller than me.
0:08:40 > 0:08:43And he's caring and considerate.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46Oh, and he's got a great chest.
0:08:46 > 0:08:49And he tidies up. Oh, and he doesn't hate my parents.
0:08:49 > 0:08:54And he loves dogs, and he works out but he doesn't over do it, you know.
0:08:54 > 0:08:59And he can cook - and he'll make me a really nice big breakfast,
0:08:59 > 0:09:03and call me sweet girl in bed and look me in the eyes when he comes.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06Right, so, picky and desperate.
0:09:06 > 0:09:08I'd stick with the cinema.
0:09:08 > 0:09:11Erm, I'm going to have that, is that all right?
0:09:11 > 0:09:12Yeah.
0:09:40 > 0:09:41What a woman!
0:09:43 > 0:09:44God, I love her!
0:09:46 > 0:09:48We spent the whole weekend together.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52I have never ever had so much sex.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55She's wild.
0:09:55 > 0:10:00So physical, so... unashamed of her sexuality.
0:10:01 > 0:10:05We went to this nightclub. Man, can she drink!
0:10:05 > 0:10:07And then afterwards...
0:10:09 > 0:10:10The next day, right,
0:10:10 > 0:10:12she took me to badminton.
0:10:12 > 0:10:14Now, I have never played badminton before.
0:10:14 > 0:10:16But I actually really enjoyed it.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18I mean this is the incredible thing about her.
0:10:18 > 0:10:22- I mean, you know what a slug I am, right?- Yep.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25She makes me want to do things! Hmm...
0:10:25 > 0:10:26Like badminton.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28Yeah. God, I miss her.
0:10:29 > 0:10:33I know, I know, I mean how can I say that after just one weekend?
0:10:33 > 0:10:35But you know, she's gone on this work trip to Toronto
0:10:35 > 0:10:39and I just, I just can't wait for her to get back.
0:10:43 > 0:10:44I think she could be...
0:10:44 > 0:10:49No, no, I'm not, I'm not going to say that, I'm not going to say it,
0:10:49 > 0:10:52I'm not going to say it...
0:10:56 > 0:11:00She sounds quite...insertive.
0:11:00 > 0:11:04- What?- Sorry, I mean just a bit... masculine.
0:11:04 > 0:11:07- All the activities and everything. - Don't be silly.
0:11:07 > 0:11:10Is she a bit of a tomboy? Emphasis on the boy?
0:11:10 > 0:11:14She's very beautiful. Amazing legs that go on for ever.
0:11:14 > 0:11:15Tall is she?
0:11:15 > 0:11:16Yes, she's tall. Yes, she is.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19- How tall?- Beautiful women are tall.
0:11:19 > 0:11:21Don't do this to me. It doesn't mean she's a man.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23I mean, did you ever hear anybody say,
0:11:23 > 0:11:25"my girlfriend's beautifully short"?
0:11:25 > 0:11:26I mean, just because you sat at home
0:11:26 > 0:11:29crying into your ready-made-meal-for-one,
0:11:29 > 0:11:31watching endless episodes of Poirot,
0:11:31 > 0:11:32hoping against hope
0:11:32 > 0:11:36that your perfect man is going to somehow miraculously enter your life,
0:11:36 > 0:11:40but knowing in your heart that he won't because he doesn't exist.
0:11:40 > 0:11:43And even if he did exist he wouldn't fancy you,
0:11:43 > 0:11:47because I think you'll find men want a bit more from a woman
0:11:47 > 0:11:50than a certain flat-chested ability for admin.
0:12:04 > 0:12:05I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Anyway, how was your weekend?
0:12:13 > 0:12:14When I joined this unit,
0:12:14 > 0:12:17I thought I'd encountered some inspiring officers
0:12:17 > 0:12:20who worked hard trying to bring criminals to justice.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22How'd I end up lumbered with a walking wank stain?
0:12:22 > 0:12:24You started it, calling my girlfriend a man.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26I said "masculine". That is not the same thing.
0:12:26 > 0:12:30Mountaineering is not just a masculine pursuit. Women also do it.
0:12:30 > 0:12:34I can't believe your views of men and women are so regressive.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36I can't believe you just said that.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Those words just came out of your mouth.
0:12:38 > 0:12:42You're just jealous because I had a nice weekend and you didn't.
0:12:42 > 0:12:43You should be pleased for me.
0:12:43 > 0:12:47How was I to know that you actually did spend your weekend doing admin?
0:12:47 > 0:12:49What you said was really mean.
0:12:49 > 0:12:50I could have you up on a harassment charge,
0:12:50 > 0:12:54- if I could be bothered with the paperwork.- OK, OK, listen.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58If you want to complain about me, I'll help you with the paperwork.
0:13:00 > 0:13:03Look, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that thing about your...
0:13:04 > 0:13:07You actually have really nice breasts. OK?
0:13:08 > 0:13:09Are you happy now?
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Thank you.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Ow!
0:13:14 > 0:13:17Ow! We're even now.
0:13:19 > 0:13:23As her English Tutor, did you have a close relationship with Laura?
0:13:24 > 0:13:27If you're suspecting me for even one moment, young lady,
0:13:27 > 0:13:30then you are horribly misguided.
0:13:30 > 0:13:32I doubt a woman of your beauty and perception
0:13:32 > 0:13:34would be making such a mistake.
0:13:37 > 0:13:42Those words might work on your students, Professor,
0:13:42 > 0:13:43but they won't work on me.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Yes, Laura and I were partners.
0:13:48 > 0:13:53Partners in our examination of romantic imagination.
0:13:53 > 0:13:57She adored my book on Romanticism, Surplus Value, And Alienated Labour.
0:13:57 > 0:13:58Oh, you've written a book!
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Can I have that title again?
0:14:00 > 0:14:04Romanticism, Surplus Value And Alienated Labour.
0:14:04 > 0:14:09Surplus Value And Alienated what?
0:14:09 > 0:14:14- Labour!- As in, as in job? - No, as in economic oppression!
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Did she ever mention anyone that she had problems with?
0:14:17 > 0:14:19Or was scared of?
0:14:19 > 0:14:23No. Although she had recently fallen in with a very strange crowd.
0:14:23 > 0:14:24How do you mean?
0:14:24 > 0:14:29Well students can form strange cliques within Universities.
0:14:29 > 0:14:31And cliques within cliques.
0:14:31 > 0:14:34You're the second person to have said that to us.
0:14:34 > 0:14:36Come see for yourself.
0:14:43 > 0:14:46Oh, what a bunch of weirdos. Who are they?
0:14:46 > 0:14:49They are post-genderists.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51- Laura's friends?- Those blokes?
0:14:51 > 0:14:53They're not blokes - they're women.
0:14:53 > 0:14:55Although you can't call them that, obviously.
0:14:55 > 0:14:57Because they're post-genderists.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59They're not women.
0:14:59 > 0:15:01Despite appearances, they are what the rest of us
0:15:01 > 0:15:03would describe as women.
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Although, they themselves have moved beyond such distinctions.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08There is no way that that one there,
0:15:08 > 0:15:11the one with the Hitler hairdo, is anything other than a gay bloke.
0:15:11 > 0:15:13- You don't know he's gay. - You see? You said "he".
0:15:13 > 0:15:15He's saying he's a she.
0:15:15 > 0:15:16She is a she.
0:15:16 > 0:15:20Go and talk to them - you'll soon find out.
0:15:21 > 0:15:24Can you tell us the way to Laura's room?
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Something a bit too bloody perfect about this Laura girl,
0:15:38 > 0:15:40don't you think?
0:15:40 > 0:15:43Behind closed doors, bet she sucked cock like she was stealing petrol.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46You're repellent. She's dead.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Come on, don't tell me you buy this perfect image.
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Do you know, I did find that English Professor a bit creepy.
0:15:51 > 0:15:54- I thought you liked him.- I could see a student falling for his...
0:15:54 > 0:15:56romantic, pseudo-intellectual bollocks.
0:15:56 > 0:15:58Yeah? Unlike you.
0:15:58 > 0:16:00I so do not fancy him.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Hey, if he tidied himself up?
0:16:02 > 0:16:04- Shut up.- Come on, you simpered.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07I did not simper. I've never simpered.
0:16:07 > 0:16:08I don't even know what simpering is.
0:16:08 > 0:16:10It's what you did with him.
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Yeah, but you're right - there's something wrong about him.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15And that scary gender woman.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17Professor Hunt?
0:16:17 > 0:16:18Yeah, the Lesbitarian.
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Too bloody forthright, don't you think?
0:16:20 > 0:16:24- Do you think she's hiding something?- Meh.
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Hey. Look at this.
0:16:30 > 0:16:32Friends?
0:16:32 > 0:16:34Or lovers?
0:16:34 > 0:16:35Told you. Clam-digger.
0:16:36 > 0:16:39- Rug-muncher.- Please, stop going on.
0:16:39 > 0:16:41Yes, maybe Laura was gay. Or bi-curious.
0:16:41 > 0:16:43I don't know why you find it so fascinating,
0:16:43 > 0:16:46you have to go on and on with this list of names like a four-year-old.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49I'm not. I'm just saying I told you it was sexual. That's all.
0:16:49 > 0:16:51We don't even know that.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52Listen,
0:16:52 > 0:16:54this is a murderer we're after,
0:16:54 > 0:16:56who knows if they're are going to kill again?
0:16:56 > 0:16:58We need to go under cover. Mature student.
0:16:58 > 0:16:59Professor of Gender Studies.
0:16:59 > 0:17:03Oh, you could definitely look like one of those.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05Because you look so intelligent.
0:17:14 > 0:17:15Oh, thank you young man.
0:17:15 > 0:17:17It's not a problem.
0:17:17 > 0:17:19You're very kind.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27There you go. Have a nice day.
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Oh, god, he was gorgeous.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05- Ow!- Ow!
0:18:05 > 0:18:10Aw! What are you doing?
0:18:10 > 0:18:12Oh, my god.
0:18:12 > 0:18:14Oh, my god, you're bleeding, I'm really sorry.
0:18:14 > 0:18:15Oh, god, it's really bleeding.
0:18:18 > 0:18:22I er, I run a small environmental consultancy.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25We help big corporations become greener.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27So, obviously business is booming at the minute and yeah,
0:18:27 > 0:18:28we've had a really good year.
0:18:28 > 0:18:30- Wow.- Tell you what, I'll do you a deal.
0:18:30 > 0:18:33I'll get the next ones, if you promise never to head butt me again.
0:18:33 > 0:18:38- Yeah?- I promise. - Right. Let's celebrate, champagne!
0:18:38 > 0:18:39- I think it's stopped?- Has it?
0:18:39 > 0:18:41How about the guilt.
0:18:41 > 0:18:42Oh, god!
0:19:11 > 0:19:12Sweet girl.
0:19:19 > 0:19:22Sweet girl. Oh, my god!
0:19:39 > 0:19:42Hi, my name's Rod.
0:19:42 > 0:19:43My name's Roderick.
0:19:50 > 0:19:53Hey, hey what's up?
0:19:55 > 0:19:58I think we're all on the same course together. Yeah.
0:19:58 > 0:20:01You guys are studying Women & Gender Studies like me?
0:20:04 > 0:20:05Can we help you with something?
0:20:05 > 0:20:10Well yeah, like I said I'm new and I'm on the same course as you guys.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12I mean, sorry, you people
0:20:12 > 0:20:14and erm, you know, I was,
0:20:14 > 0:20:17I was just wondering, er, what, er, what books I should get?
0:20:17 > 0:20:21The books on the syllabus might be a good place to start.
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Yeah, yeah well you know, I've done those obviously.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27But now I'm thinking, what next? You know, erm ...
0:20:27 > 0:20:30Hey, what's that, what's that you're reading there? What's that?
0:20:31 > 0:20:34Oh right, yeah, right,
0:20:34 > 0:20:35yeah, is that good?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Are you interested in post-structural philosophy?
0:20:37 > 0:20:40Oh God, yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely, yeah.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42- Well, then you might enjoy it. - Right, OK.
0:20:42 > 0:20:45Hey - talking of. Have you heard the good news?
0:20:45 > 0:20:49- You're actually studying Geography? - Ha. No, no erm ...
0:20:49 > 0:20:55Yeah good, no, the Pakistani Government right,
0:20:55 > 0:20:59have given trannies their own gender category on passports.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Right. Have a good trip.
0:21:02 > 0:21:05Don't be like that. I thought you'd be pleased like me.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Hey. What's your name?
0:21:08 > 0:21:10What's your name? Come on,
0:21:10 > 0:21:14I'll find out at the next seminar on gayness in Hindu mythology.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16I'm Rainbow. This is Leaf.
0:21:16 > 0:21:18Rainbow? Leaf?
0:21:18 > 0:21:21What? Were your parents hippies? Or just mad and cruel?
0:21:21 > 0:21:25- Don't be so rude! They're genderless names.- No they're not.
0:21:25 > 0:21:27Rainbow isn't genderless. That's definitely female.
0:21:27 > 0:21:28- What? No it's not!- Yes it is!
0:21:28 > 0:21:33No bloke is going to be called Rainbow. But a girl might be.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36Now Leaf - that is genderless. That's a good name.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39Well done Leaf. But Rainbow - that's girlie.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Like, er, like Cinnamon. Or Daffodil. Girlie name.
0:21:41 > 0:21:45That's nonsense! And what's your name Mr Mature Student?
0:21:45 > 0:21:48Oh, yeah, my name's Roger. Hi.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Roger, hi.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54Hey, did you hear about what happened to that Laura girl?
0:21:54 > 0:21:55Scary. Freaky, huh?
0:21:55 > 0:21:59I'm sure we'll all somehow manage to get over our grief.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02Laura had a knack of rubbing people the wrong way.
0:22:02 > 0:22:03Really? How was that?
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Why you so interested in her?
0:22:07 > 0:22:10Hey, I'm just, I'm just interested 'sall.
0:22:10 > 0:22:11Was it cause of someone she was boning?
0:22:11 > 0:22:15Your phallogocentricism is pathetic.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17No, mine isn't.
0:22:17 > 0:22:20- So, er, were you her girlfriend or something?- Don't be so offensive!
0:22:20 > 0:22:22Hey, what's offensive about that?
0:22:22 > 0:22:24I mean, you could be her girlfriend?
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Unless you're a homophobic? I hope you're not!
0:22:26 > 0:22:29- Of course she's not! - Yeah?- We don't think in established,
0:22:29 > 0:22:32restrictive, cultural, sexual terms.
0:22:32 > 0:22:35Right, yeah? What, why's that?
0:22:35 > 0:22:36- We're post-biological.- Right.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38What's up with you.
0:22:38 > 0:22:41Are you like this because you think it's trendy?
0:22:43 > 0:22:47Roger, can I suggest you steer clear of me, please?
0:22:47 > 0:22:50Or I'll report you to the Dean for your remarks.
0:22:55 > 0:22:58Ten years - I bet you're all married with three kids.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02I'm glad she's dead.
0:23:12 > 0:23:15Oh, hey, Professor Hunt.
0:23:15 > 0:23:18I'm sorry, it's me? DI Armstrong.
0:23:18 > 0:23:23But er, don't, don't let on that I'm anything other than a mature student.
0:23:23 > 0:23:28- OK, because Laura's killer might be in the room.- Fine.
0:23:28 > 0:23:32Don't be alarmed if I push for an emotional response from the kids.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35It's what I do. OK?
0:23:35 > 0:23:38Laura's killer may be suppressing anxiety.
0:23:38 > 0:23:42Might reveal itself if pushed. OK?
0:23:42 > 0:23:44Don't touch me.
0:23:44 > 0:23:48Oh, right, er... Yeah, well, I'm sorry.
0:23:48 > 0:23:49Thank you.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53Thank you very much, Professor Hunt, for those kind words.
0:23:57 > 0:24:00Hey... All right?
0:24:00 > 0:24:04So, who was persuaded by Butler's theory,
0:24:04 > 0:24:06that our binary definitions
0:24:06 > 0:24:10- of gender and sex are the result of so-called Performativity?- Hey,
0:24:10 > 0:24:11has anyone read this?
0:24:11 > 0:24:14Yeah? It's fascinating.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16A Cyborg Manifesto -
0:24:16 > 0:24:19Science, Technology, And Socialist-Feminism
0:24:19 > 0:24:21In The Late Twentieth Century.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23Hmm? It's a quick, easy read.
0:24:23 > 0:24:27But very interesting, although, I did take issue with her ideas
0:24:27 > 0:24:31that, er, women would be better off as robots.
0:24:31 > 0:24:33Yeah, I found that a bit wrong, actually.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35A bit offensive. Yeah?
0:24:35 > 0:24:39Haraway's not really saying women should be robots.
0:24:39 > 0:24:43The idea of the cyborg is clearly a metaphor
0:24:43 > 0:24:46in which she's trying to refigure the anachronistic
0:24:46 > 0:24:49and established hierarchies of male dominance.
0:24:49 > 0:24:54Yeah, right, well, I mean, I've got all that obviously and er... Really?
0:24:54 > 0:24:57Well, maybe it's not just a metaphor?
0:24:57 > 0:24:59Developments in cloning and parthenogenesis
0:24:59 > 0:25:03mean that in a hundred years, there may not be any more men.
0:25:04 > 0:25:06Do we all know what parthenogenesis is?
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Ian?
0:25:12 > 0:25:14I don't exactly know what it means.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17It's when sex for reproduction is obsolete.
0:25:17 > 0:25:19MOBILE PHONE RINGS
0:25:19 > 0:25:20Oh, yeah.
0:25:20 > 0:25:23Rainbow can't wait for sex to become obsolete, can you, Rainbow?
0:25:24 > 0:25:28I want women to be freed from their social and biological obligations.
0:25:28 > 0:25:30That might well include sex.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32That will never happen though, will it, Professor?
0:25:32 > 0:25:34Having sex by yourself?
0:25:34 > 0:25:37Many organisms already reproduce without sex
0:25:37 > 0:25:39or a male partner.
0:25:39 > 0:25:42Lots of insects
0:25:42 > 0:25:44and amphibians.
0:25:44 > 0:25:49I've been reading about a Mexican lizard that reproduces by itself.
0:25:49 > 0:25:50Got it.
0:25:53 > 0:25:54Hey, babe.
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Yeah, I'm in a seminar on gender talking about sex.
0:25:57 > 0:26:02Yeah, OK, OK, well, yeah, you finish off your round of golf
0:26:02 > 0:26:04and we'll talk later. All right?
0:26:04 > 0:26:06All right, OK, bye, babe.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09My girlfriend.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12We don't really allow phones in seminars.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14Sure. But that was important.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16As I was saying,
0:26:16 > 0:26:20I want women to be freed from their social and biological obligations.
0:26:20 > 0:26:21Which might well include sex.
0:26:21 > 0:26:24Yeah, but what you're forgetting in all this Rainbow, is,
0:26:24 > 0:26:26who's going to put up your shelving, huh?
0:26:26 > 0:26:29Cos women are rubbish at that, aren't they?
0:26:29 > 0:26:32Your views are depressing and reductive.
0:26:32 > 0:26:33Just cos you can't get laid.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37Social progress only comes when we move beyond our gender differences.
0:26:37 > 0:26:39All right, all right, love, don't go on!
0:26:39 > 0:26:42I'm not prepared to share a room with this man anymore.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Oooh!
0:26:48 > 0:26:50HE LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY
0:26:52 > 0:26:55If cloning would mean an end to men like you...
0:26:55 > 0:26:56bring it on.
0:27:00 > 0:27:01HE WHISTLES
0:27:03 > 0:27:05Something I said? Huh!
0:27:12 > 0:27:14How's Dan?
0:27:14 > 0:27:17Danielle? Yes, she's great. Still in the States.
0:27:17 > 0:27:18She's gone fishing today, actually.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20We've been speaking on the phone.
0:27:20 > 0:27:25She talks the most filthy phone sex I have ever heard.
0:27:25 > 0:27:26That's nice.
0:27:26 > 0:27:30I mean stuff that I'm actually like, you know, woah, please.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35Hey, hey, last night, in the bath,
0:27:35 > 0:27:38she got me to shave my...
0:27:39 > 0:27:41Yeah.
0:27:43 > 0:27:45Sounds lovely though.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48JACK'S PHONE RINGS
0:27:52 > 0:27:54- Oh, hey, it's her.- Oh, that's good.
0:27:54 > 0:27:57Hi, darling. How are you?
0:27:57 > 0:28:00Really? Well listen, listen, I'm in the car right now,
0:28:00 > 0:28:05so, so can we, can we talk later? Yeah! Yeah!
0:28:05 > 0:28:07Especially if it's going to be like last time.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10Yeah, OK, well look, I tell you
0:28:10 > 0:28:14why don't you go and do that and we'll talk later.
0:28:16 > 0:28:18Yeah, OK, not, not right now, darling.
0:28:20 > 0:28:22OK, OK, OK, yeah.
0:28:22 > 0:28:24Pussy loves you too.
0:28:24 > 0:28:28OK? All right? Yeah, bye, bye. Bye.
0:28:29 > 0:28:33So, er, look tomorrow, what do you want to do? Want to meet at the Uni?
0:28:33 > 0:28:35Or do you want to meet here for coffee first?
0:28:37 > 0:28:40What did she... What was Dan's nick-name for you?
0:28:41 > 0:28:45- Sorry?- Well, I couldn't quite hear, she called you...?
0:28:45 > 0:28:47She has a nick-name for me, yeah.
0:28:48 > 0:28:50What is it?
0:28:50 > 0:28:53She calls me pussy. What's wrong with that?
0:28:53 > 0:28:56- Nothing wrong with that.- No, there is nothing wrong with that.
0:28:58 > 0:29:02I just... I think it is quite a male thing to do, isn't it?
0:29:02 > 0:29:03Give people nick-names.
0:29:03 > 0:29:05I don't know. Women don't really tend to give people
0:29:05 > 0:29:07nick-names in that way.
0:29:07 > 0:29:10OK, do you want a lift home or not?
0:29:10 > 0:29:11Because I'm quite happy to do not.
0:29:11 > 0:29:14I definitely do, Pussy. Thank you.
0:29:40 > 0:29:41Oy, yoy, yoy.
0:30:05 > 0:30:07Hey!
0:30:09 > 0:30:11Morning, candy pants.
0:30:11 > 0:30:12Morning.
0:30:12 > 0:30:14You look so beautiful in the morning, you know.
0:30:14 > 0:30:16Even with your messy hair.
0:30:17 > 0:30:20Thank you so much for dinner last night. It was amazing.
0:30:20 > 0:30:24No, you're all right. I've er, I've done you some breakfast.
0:30:24 > 0:30:26Oh God, wow!
0:30:26 > 0:30:29It's a... It's a full English.
0:30:30 > 0:30:33There's eggs - poached and fried,
0:30:33 > 0:30:38French toast, normal toast, some mushrooms in like cream and spinach.
0:30:38 > 0:30:41Tomatoes, beans, sausage. Two kinds of bacon,
0:30:41 > 0:30:44Bubble and squeak, black pudding and hash brown.
0:30:44 > 0:30:47- And pancakes.- Yeah, a la Liam, my speciality.
0:30:47 > 0:30:49And what's this, under here?
0:30:49 > 0:30:53Oh, right, that was meant to be a bit of a surprise, that's er ...
0:30:53 > 0:30:56- Woah, fried kidneys.- Oh, kidneys!
0:30:56 > 0:30:59So you're going to be joining me, right?
0:30:59 > 0:31:01No, no, I couldn't honestly. It's for you.
0:31:01 > 0:31:02TIMER BLEEPS
0:31:02 > 0:31:04Oh, that'll be the croissants.
0:31:06 > 0:31:07Croissants?
0:31:21 > 0:31:23Do you know what I've realised?
0:31:23 > 0:31:26I'm redundant. That's what I've learned.
0:31:26 > 0:31:27- No, you're not.- Yes I am.
0:31:29 > 0:31:31Go on, you tell me what I'm good for, go on?
0:31:31 > 0:31:33Lots of things.
0:31:33 > 0:31:36You're very good at investigating crimes.
0:31:36 > 0:31:37Yeah, yeah I am.
0:31:37 > 0:31:41But actually if you think about it, any woman can do what I can do.
0:31:41 > 0:31:44- Don't you think?- Well...yeah.
0:31:45 > 0:31:49I mean, you don't actually need us anymore for anything.
0:31:49 > 0:31:51That's the point.
0:31:51 > 0:31:52You, being women.
0:31:52 > 0:31:54In 150 years time
0:31:54 > 0:31:58you won't even need me to fertilise your eggs anymore.
0:31:58 > 0:32:00You being men. Not you being you?
0:32:00 > 0:32:04You'll be able to carry the baby and be the father.
0:32:04 > 0:32:06Well, that's what I've learned from that
0:32:06 > 0:32:11Lesbie-cyborg manifesto shit that I read last night!
0:32:11 > 0:32:14Yeah, most women won't want to do that.
0:32:14 > 0:32:17You'll be able to reproduce inside yourselves, like a,
0:32:17 > 0:32:20like a Mexican lizard.
0:32:20 > 0:32:21I mean you used to need us
0:32:21 > 0:32:25for hunting and protection and procreation.
0:32:25 > 0:32:28But now you can just go shopping on line for all that shit!
0:32:30 > 0:32:31We're superfluous.
0:32:33 > 0:32:35- I'm superfluous.- No you're not.
0:32:36 > 0:32:38Dan loves you. You're not superfluous to her.
0:32:40 > 0:32:41When's she back?
0:32:41 > 0:32:44Oh, I don't know. She's gone hunting up in the mountains.
0:32:46 > 0:32:47Christ, I miss her.
0:32:47 > 0:32:51C'mon, lets go to work.
0:33:25 > 0:33:28You sure she's out?
0:33:28 > 0:33:31Yeah she's at a seminar on feminism and childbirth.
0:33:32 > 0:33:33Right.
0:33:34 > 0:33:36Here we go.
0:33:47 > 0:33:49Hi.
0:33:49 > 0:33:50- All right?- Hi.
0:33:58 > 0:33:59Oh. What's the problem.
0:33:59 > 0:34:02I can't do it. It's too difficult.
0:34:02 > 0:34:04- Oh God, these things never work. - C'mon, yes they do.
0:34:04 > 0:34:07OK then, you have a go, go on, go on.
0:34:10 > 0:34:12See?
0:34:15 > 0:34:17What are you doing?
0:34:17 > 0:34:19We've just...
0:34:19 > 0:34:22come to find out...
0:34:22 > 0:34:25Why you are not in your seminar.
0:34:25 > 0:34:28Because, there isn't a seminar today.
0:34:31 > 0:34:33Right, enough of this crap,
0:34:33 > 0:34:37listen, you gob-shite. We're cops and we've come to search your room,
0:34:37 > 0:34:40in connection with the death of Laura Edwards.
0:34:40 > 0:34:42If you're cops, I'm Naomi Campbell.
0:34:42 > 0:34:44Well then, you're Naomi Campbell.
0:34:46 > 0:34:48You're not.
0:34:48 > 0:34:51You're nothing like as beautiful as her.
0:34:51 > 0:34:54But by your logic - you are her.
0:35:10 > 0:35:11Hello, Rainbow.
0:35:13 > 0:35:14We've searched your room.
0:35:14 > 0:35:16I know. I let you in.
0:35:16 > 0:35:18You can lose that tone...Julie.
0:35:18 > 0:35:21Do you mind if we call you Julie? Seeing as that is your real name.
0:35:21 > 0:35:24Julie Brown of 22, Parsons Lane, Bedford.
0:35:24 > 0:35:26- You need to talk to us, Rainbow.- Julie.
0:35:26 > 0:35:28Or you could find the water around you getting very hot.
0:35:28 > 0:35:30Why am I meant to talk? I haven't done anything.
0:35:30 > 0:35:33"I'm glad she's dead." Your words.
0:35:33 > 0:35:36- Did you say that?- Yes, Your Honour. - Because it doesn't sound good.
0:35:36 > 0:35:38I've got nothing to say.
0:35:38 > 0:35:39You need to tell us, Julie.
0:35:39 > 0:35:42- I know my rights.- You've got a lot of explaining to do,
0:35:42 > 0:35:45for instance, do you recognise these?
0:35:47 > 0:35:48We found them in your room.
0:36:17 > 0:36:18Do you know what this is?
0:36:20 > 0:36:23- It's a female breast.- Yes...it...is.
0:36:23 > 0:36:26- Whose breast, Julie?- Not yours. - You sure about that?
0:36:30 > 0:36:32What's this?
0:36:32 > 0:36:34It's a thigh.
0:36:34 > 0:36:36Is it?
0:36:37 > 0:36:38Oh, yeah. So it is.
0:36:40 > 0:36:46Do you know where we found these pictures of naked bodies?
0:36:46 > 0:36:49This...shit.
0:36:50 > 0:36:52In the middle drawer of my desk.
0:36:52 > 0:36:56That's right. Your desk. Middle drawer.
0:36:56 > 0:36:57Didn't I just say that?
0:36:57 > 0:36:58It's Laura, isn't it?
0:37:00 > 0:37:02It's for an art project I was working on
0:37:02 > 0:37:05on the objectification of the female form.
0:37:05 > 0:37:07There's lots of male photos too.
0:37:07 > 0:37:09Yeah, I know. We've seen them.
0:37:09 > 0:37:13- Did you like them? - No, I did not.
0:37:13 > 0:37:14Admit it.
0:37:14 > 0:37:16- Admit what?- We know this is Laura
0:37:16 > 0:37:20because we know she had this tattoo.
0:37:20 > 0:37:21And the lab have just confirmed it.
0:37:22 > 0:37:24Admit it.
0:37:26 > 0:37:28- Yes, it's Laura.- Yes!
0:37:28 > 0:37:32- She was on my course. We were working on the project together.- Oh, really?
0:37:32 > 0:37:35The "taking clothes off and taking photos of each other" part of the course?
0:37:35 > 0:37:38- I don't think that's in the prospectus.- No, it's not.
0:37:38 > 0:37:42We were doing the project together. It was going to be in The Union bar.
0:37:42 > 0:37:45Ask the bar manager. Ask Professor Hunt. She knew about it.
0:37:45 > 0:37:47- But it never happened, did it? - Why didn't it happen?
0:37:47 > 0:37:49Why did you hide the photos, Julie?
0:37:49 > 0:37:52- They weren't hidden. - Did you two fall out?
0:37:52 > 0:37:54Why did you fall out?
0:37:54 > 0:37:55Why did you fall out?!
0:37:55 > 0:38:00- Stop shouting. Why are you always shouting?- I'M NOT SHOUTING!
0:38:00 > 0:38:03This is shouting! I'll shout if I want to shout!
0:38:03 > 0:38:06I'll shout because we're dealing with a dead girl here!
0:38:08 > 0:38:10A girl who had her whole life ahead of her.
0:38:10 > 0:38:14HAD her whole life ahead of her. But that's gone now
0:38:14 > 0:38:17because she's been killed
0:38:17 > 0:38:22and I'm looking at your pervy pictures of her naked body
0:38:22 > 0:38:25and I'm hearing you say, "I'm glad she's dead."
0:38:25 > 0:38:30So, you better come clean about what happened between you and Laura
0:38:30 > 0:38:32or I swear to God,
0:38:32 > 0:38:36your life as you know it, sweetheart, is over.
0:38:43 > 0:38:45Yes, we were lovers.
0:38:47 > 0:38:48But then...
0:38:50 > 0:38:52..she left me.
0:38:55 > 0:38:56She started seeing a man.
0:38:56 > 0:38:59A man? The ultimate insult.
0:38:59 > 0:39:01She said she was one of us.
0:39:01 > 0:39:03Who was she seeing, Julie?
0:39:03 > 0:39:06She betrayed everything I believed in.
0:39:07 > 0:39:09End of the day, that's all she wanted.
0:39:11 > 0:39:14Just like every other weak bitch on this planet,
0:39:14 > 0:39:16enthralled to the male member.
0:39:16 > 0:39:18Which man, Julie?
0:39:19 > 0:39:20I don't know.
0:39:20 > 0:39:23Some dick. Does it matter?
0:39:23 > 0:39:26She kept it a secret from me.
0:39:32 > 0:39:33But I didn't kill her.
0:39:35 > 0:39:36I promise you.
0:39:37 > 0:39:38I promise.
0:39:47 > 0:39:48Thank you, Rainbow.
0:39:49 > 0:39:52I think I know which man Laura was seeing.
0:39:54 > 0:39:55Ball in!
0:39:57 > 0:39:58Now! Drive! Drive!
0:39:58 > 0:40:01Drive! Drive! Drive!
0:40:01 > 0:40:03Drive! Drive!
0:40:03 > 0:40:06- Come on!- Right, here we go.- Drive!
0:40:07 > 0:40:09Yeah, so I was seeing her.
0:40:09 > 0:40:12I thought we were in love. Turns out we weren't.
0:40:12 > 0:40:16Turns out she was only interested in my body.
0:40:16 > 0:40:19I thought she'd fallen for my sense of humour, my personality.
0:40:19 > 0:40:21Really?
0:40:21 > 0:40:22She hurt me.
0:40:22 > 0:40:25I think she hurt a lot of people in the end.
0:40:25 > 0:40:28We had to keep our love a secret.
0:40:28 > 0:40:30I say love - I mean sex, really.
0:40:30 > 0:40:32I realise now that's all I was to her.
0:40:32 > 0:40:36I was just a penis. A piece of flesh to be used.
0:40:36 > 0:40:38God.
0:40:38 > 0:40:40That's all she wanted me for.
0:40:43 > 0:40:45Why'd you have to keep it a secret?
0:40:45 > 0:40:49In case her friends found out. She was scared of them.
0:40:49 > 0:40:52That Post-gender lot. Rainbow.
0:40:53 > 0:40:56You've met them. They're on your course.
0:40:56 > 0:41:01Yeah, Ian, do you remember, we just spoke about this, didn't we?
0:41:01 > 0:41:04I'm not a mature student. I'm a police officer.
0:41:04 > 0:41:06- Oh, yeah.- Yeah.
0:41:08 > 0:41:11The Post-gender lot would have been angry if they knew
0:41:11 > 0:41:13Laura was having sex with a man.
0:41:13 > 0:41:14With men, I should say.
0:41:14 > 0:41:17Laura saw lots of men, turns out. And women.
0:41:19 > 0:41:22I don't want to disrespect her, cos she's dead,
0:41:22 > 0:41:25but turns out she was a bit of a slapper.
0:41:27 > 0:41:29But I didn't kill her. I promise you.
0:41:32 > 0:41:34We believe you.
0:41:34 > 0:41:36We need some names.
0:41:36 > 0:41:39Cos one of her lovers might have killed her.
0:41:41 > 0:41:43The only one I know for sure is,
0:41:43 > 0:41:48she was shagging her English professor - what's-it? Westlake.
0:41:50 > 0:41:51Yeah.
0:41:51 > 0:41:54She used to tell me how he'd bend her over the sofa
0:41:54 > 0:41:57and give her both barrels during tutorials.
0:41:59 > 0:42:01- (VOICE BREAKS)- I really miss her.
0:42:03 > 0:42:06Hey, it's OK. Go on.
0:42:06 > 0:42:07WHISTLE BLOWS
0:42:07 > 0:42:09Yes!
0:42:09 > 0:42:12Yes, I lied to you! Of course I lied to you.
0:42:12 > 0:42:15Do you have any idea what this would do to my career if it came out?
0:42:15 > 0:42:17We're going to find out.
0:42:17 > 0:42:18Please, please.
0:42:19 > 0:42:21You would destroy me. I...
0:42:22 > 0:42:24I would lose my, my...
0:42:24 > 0:42:28my scholarships, my reputation. My career would be over.
0:42:30 > 0:42:31I did nothing wrong.
0:42:31 > 0:42:36Apart from breaking college rules about tutor-undergraduate relations?
0:42:37 > 0:42:39Nothing illegal.
0:42:39 > 0:42:41Nothing you yourself wouldn't have done, my friend,
0:42:41 > 0:42:44if this beautiful female creature
0:42:44 > 0:42:46had come in and sat on your chaise longue,
0:42:46 > 0:42:49opened her mind up to you.
0:42:54 > 0:42:57Look, there is nothing to be gained by going public with this
0:42:57 > 0:42:59because I didn't kill Laura.
0:42:59 > 0:43:02I was in The Lake District, giving a reading on False Consciousness
0:43:02 > 0:43:05on the day she died. 200 people were there, and you can check.
0:43:05 > 0:43:08Oh, we will.
0:43:13 > 0:43:15Can I let you both into a little secret?
0:43:19 > 0:43:22I suspect that she may have been seeing other people.
0:43:24 > 0:43:25Behind my back.
0:43:26 > 0:43:28No(!)
0:43:30 > 0:43:32I think we should check Professor Love's alibi,
0:43:32 > 0:43:35see if he WAS at a seminar in the Lake District.
0:43:35 > 0:43:38- I still think he's hiding something. - Yeah, me too.
0:43:38 > 0:43:39Maybe we should follow him?
0:43:39 > 0:43:42Yeah, now we've spooked him. See where he leads.
0:43:42 > 0:43:46- Can you do it? - What?- It's just, I can't tonight.
0:43:46 > 0:43:49Liam's coming over. He's going to cook me guinea fowl.
0:43:49 > 0:43:53He's always cooking, this amazing new boyfriend of yours.
0:43:53 > 0:43:56When he's not running his own successful company
0:43:56 > 0:43:59or making me laugh. So, can you do it?
0:43:59 > 0:44:01Come on, you've got nothing else on.
0:44:01 > 0:44:04- Your boyfriend's still away, isn't she?- Don't say that.
0:44:04 > 0:44:08- What, Dan?- Danielle!- What?
0:44:08 > 0:44:10Don't call her my boyfriend, OK?
0:44:10 > 0:44:13Sorry.
0:44:13 > 0:44:16It's just, when I picture her, I think of her as a man.
0:44:16 > 0:44:18It's just, all the things she does,
0:44:18 > 0:44:21you know, driving, racing, shooting, football.
0:44:21 > 0:44:23She's a woman, OK? She's a woman.
0:44:23 > 0:44:27OK. I'm sorry. Look, SHE'S not here at the moment
0:44:27 > 0:44:30so please can you follow the professor tonight?
0:44:31 > 0:44:33Please?
0:44:33 > 0:44:37- At least someone's taking our job seriously.- I owe you.
0:44:42 > 0:44:46MUSIC: "Spooky" by Dusty Springfield
0:44:50 > 0:44:52# In the cool of the evening
0:44:52 > 0:44:56# When everything is getting kind of groovy
0:45:00 > 0:45:01DOORBELL RINGS
0:45:01 > 0:45:05# You call me up and ask me would I like to go with you and see a movie?
0:45:09 > 0:45:13# First I say no, I've got some plans for tonight
0:45:13 > 0:45:14# And then I stop... #
0:45:19 > 0:45:20What are you up to, Professor?
0:45:22 > 0:45:24HOOVER HUMS LOUDLY
0:45:35 > 0:45:36Liam?
0:45:39 > 0:45:40Liam.
0:45:42 > 0:45:44Liam!
0:45:46 > 0:45:49- Hey, snookums.- What are you doing?
0:45:49 > 0:45:51Just a quick hoover for you.
0:45:51 > 0:45:55- And I've done your mirrors in the bathroom.- Wow.
0:45:55 > 0:45:59That lamp doesn't belong there, does it?
0:45:59 > 0:46:01- Do you not like it there?- Well...
0:46:01 > 0:46:04It's all right, we can move it back after. Ready for dinner?
0:46:04 > 0:46:07- Yeah.- OK. Uh, hey, listen...
0:46:07 > 0:46:10Come here. Sit down.
0:46:13 > 0:46:15You're going to hate me for saying this
0:46:15 > 0:46:16but I'm going to say it anyway.
0:46:18 > 0:46:20OK...
0:46:20 > 0:46:24Don't let all your bills pile up as red letters, yeah?
0:46:25 > 0:46:28You've got loads of them.
0:46:28 > 0:46:31Set up a direct debit and you ain't got to worry about them.
0:46:31 > 0:46:33I'll do it for you if you like.
0:46:35 > 0:46:36OK.
0:46:38 > 0:46:42MUSIC: "It's Oh So Quiet" by Bjork
0:46:42 > 0:46:44SNORING
0:46:46 > 0:46:49# It's oh, so quiet
0:46:49 > 0:46:52# Ssh, ssh
0:46:52 > 0:46:55# It's oh, so still
0:46:55 > 0:46:59# Ssh, ssh
0:46:59 > 0:47:02# You're all alone
0:47:02 > 0:47:05# Ssh, ssh
0:47:05 > 0:47:08# And so peaceful until... #
0:47:11 > 0:47:13Are you OK?
0:47:13 > 0:47:14I've got my eye on you.
0:47:18 > 0:47:21Have you been there all night?
0:47:21 > 0:47:23Listen, I'm asking the questions here.
0:47:23 > 0:47:24And my first question to you
0:47:24 > 0:47:27is what is a heterosexual, student-molesting professor doing
0:47:27 > 0:47:30spending the night with a lesbian?
0:47:35 > 0:47:37Drive around the corner, will you?
0:47:47 > 0:47:51Do you have any idea what this would do to our careers if it came out?
0:47:51 > 0:47:53Especially hers.
0:47:53 > 0:47:57Now, you think about it. She has built an international reputation
0:47:57 > 0:48:01on the fact that she's a strident lesbian academic.
0:48:01 > 0:48:04That would be in tatters if it came out she was sleeping with me.
0:48:04 > 0:48:06Don't people deserve to know the truth?
0:48:06 > 0:48:09People who've read her books, her magazine column,
0:48:09 > 0:48:11believing she's a lesbian?
0:48:12 > 0:48:14You can't do this to her.
0:48:14 > 0:48:18We'd both lose our reputations, our funding.
0:48:18 > 0:48:20Look, if you don't care about me,
0:48:20 > 0:48:24think about all of those future generations of students,
0:48:24 > 0:48:26unable to read my research
0:48:26 > 0:48:29into the spread of Romantic imagination through Central Asia.
0:48:29 > 0:48:32You know, this is sounding very similar to what you said
0:48:32 > 0:48:35about your affair with Laura. In fact, it's exactly the same.
0:48:35 > 0:48:39You really are The Slutty Professor, aren't you?
0:48:39 > 0:48:44No. My relationship with Laura was pure and simple and passionate
0:48:44 > 0:48:47and physical and sublime.
0:48:47 > 0:48:50It was like a perfect, newly-fallen snowflake
0:48:50 > 0:48:51landing on a pane of glass.
0:48:52 > 0:48:55My relationship with Professor Hunt
0:48:55 > 0:48:57is adult and complicated
0:48:57 > 0:49:00and manipulative and dark and confused.
0:49:02 > 0:49:05It's like a horse that knows it's beautiful
0:49:05 > 0:49:09but is also somehow unpredictable and doomed.
0:49:10 > 0:49:11OK...
0:49:11 > 0:49:15so why was your relationship with Professor Hunt
0:49:15 > 0:49:18like a beautiful, dark, confused horse?
0:49:18 > 0:49:21Well, you know what women are like. They're impossible to understand.
0:49:21 > 0:49:25It's on, it's off. They want you, they don't want you.
0:49:25 > 0:49:28- They love you, they find you very, very boring.- Yeah.
0:49:28 > 0:49:32When we broke up, when she found out I was sleeping with Laura,
0:49:32 > 0:49:33she was incredibly angry.
0:49:33 > 0:49:36But since Laura's death, we seem to have been able
0:49:36 > 0:49:38to rekindle things in a way that, you know...
0:49:38 > 0:49:40(WHISTLES) ..pleases her.
0:49:41 > 0:49:43OK, so...
0:49:43 > 0:49:48When she discovered you were seeing Laura, she was angry?
0:49:48 > 0:49:51Now that she's dead, she's happy?
0:49:53 > 0:49:55Yes.
0:49:55 > 0:49:58MUSIC RESUMES: "It's Oh So Quiet"
0:50:05 > 0:50:08Sorry to disturb you, Professor Hunt.
0:50:08 > 0:50:10We need to ask you a few more questions.
0:50:27 > 0:50:30What was your relationship with Professor Westlake?
0:50:30 > 0:50:32From the English Department?
0:50:32 > 0:50:34Uh, yeah!
0:50:34 > 0:50:37Well, he's a respected colleague.
0:50:37 > 0:50:41His book on the spread of Romanticism through Central Asia is fascinating.
0:50:45 > 0:50:49Is there anything else you want to add to that? At all?
0:50:49 > 0:50:51You and Simon?
0:50:53 > 0:50:57Given that I, uh, saw you let him into your house at 8pm last night
0:50:57 > 0:51:01and he didn't leave until 8am this morning?
0:51:02 > 0:51:06So this whole, er, lesbo thing - just a pose, is it?
0:51:06 > 0:51:10How can you possibly be calling into question
0:51:10 > 0:51:12my commitment to gender studies?
0:51:12 > 0:51:16No. We're calling into question your relationship with Laura Edwards.
0:51:16 > 0:51:18I was her tutor. You know that.
0:51:18 > 0:51:21How long have you been having sex with Simon Westlake?
0:51:23 > 0:51:26Um... That's none of your business.
0:51:26 > 0:51:30We already asked him, so we know the answer.
0:51:30 > 0:51:33Why don't you answer your own question, then?
0:51:35 > 0:51:36Five years.
0:51:36 > 0:51:41Yes. On and off, for five years. That must be about right.
0:51:41 > 0:51:44But I fail to see how that relates to the death of poor Laura
0:51:44 > 0:51:47or your investigation. I have a busy day
0:51:47 > 0:51:49so unless you have any more questions...
0:51:49 > 0:51:51I'm going to tell everyone.
0:51:51 > 0:51:55- Tell them what? - That you're a fraud. A fake lesbian.
0:51:55 > 0:51:59You'll lose your fellowship, your reputation, your gay column.
0:51:59 > 0:52:05Er, can you hear how thin and desperate that sounds?
0:52:05 > 0:52:07Hey, if the affair's so harmless, why hide it?
0:52:07 > 0:52:09Because it's private. That's why.
0:52:09 > 0:52:12How did you feel when Professor Westlake started seeing Laura?
0:52:14 > 0:52:16Utterly indifferent.
0:52:16 > 0:52:20Really? When the man you were seeing started shagging someone else,
0:52:20 > 0:52:22a student, no less, you felt nothing?
0:52:22 > 0:52:26Men will be men. I suppose I was a little disappointed
0:52:26 > 0:52:29by the predictability of it all, but I knew it was meaningless.
0:52:29 > 0:52:32You didn't mind that he'd chosen a younger...
0:52:32 > 0:52:35- Prettier.- ..more beautiful women...
0:52:35 > 0:52:37a girl, really, over you?
0:52:37 > 0:52:40No. He didn't choose her OVER me.
0:52:40 > 0:52:42It didn't upset you that her younger body
0:52:42 > 0:52:45was more appealing than your older mind?
0:52:45 > 0:52:48That didn't go against your every principle, make you angry?
0:52:48 > 0:52:52No. My relationship with Simon was far too capricious for that.
0:52:54 > 0:52:57We were hardly about to settle down.
0:52:57 > 0:53:00You had to see her every week, didn't you? She still came to your seminar.
0:53:00 > 0:53:02Sitting there with her beautiful hair,
0:53:02 > 0:53:05with her legs, and her face,
0:53:05 > 0:53:07smelling of his bed.
0:53:07 > 0:53:09You're grasping.
0:53:09 > 0:53:11If I allowed myself to be distracted
0:53:11 > 0:53:13by every pretty student who came into my life
0:53:13 > 0:53:17or had an affair with a colleague, I'd never achieve anything.
0:53:17 > 0:53:18The truth is,
0:53:18 > 0:53:22I barely noticed Laura's beauty, let alone let it bother me.
0:53:22 > 0:53:25I'm not that superficial.
0:53:25 > 0:53:29So, unless you have anything else you want to ask,
0:53:29 > 0:53:31I'd love to get on with my day.
0:53:40 > 0:53:41So...
0:53:43 > 0:53:45you weren't at all jealous
0:53:45 > 0:53:48that he was seeing clever, beautiful Laura?
0:53:48 > 0:53:50She really wasn't that clever.
0:53:50 > 0:53:52Wasn't she?
0:53:53 > 0:53:55Simon said she was,
0:53:55 > 0:53:59really clever. And great in bed. Said she shone.
0:53:59 > 0:54:01Not intellectually. He said that?
0:54:01 > 0:54:04- Yeah.- Said she was cleverer than you.- Much.
0:54:04 > 0:54:05Don't be ridiculous.
0:54:05 > 0:54:08Said she was more analytical, a deeper thinker,
0:54:08 > 0:54:11and that she'd write much better books than you,
0:54:11 > 0:54:13really profound, sell shitloads.
0:54:13 > 0:54:15- Nobody thinks that. - Everyone thinks that.
0:54:15 > 0:54:17Well, everyone is wrong.
0:54:17 > 0:54:21This ridiculous "Laura is amazing" myth is based on nothing.
0:54:21 > 0:54:23I taught her. I know.
0:54:23 > 0:54:27She was intellectually gauche, lazy and unoriginal.
0:54:27 > 0:54:29I don't know how she fooled people.
0:54:29 > 0:54:31And that's what made you angry?
0:54:32 > 0:54:35Yes, it made me angry.
0:54:35 > 0:54:37Because she wasn't smart -
0:54:37 > 0:54:40- she was just seductive. - So you confronted her?
0:54:42 > 0:54:43You might as well come clean, Donna,
0:54:43 > 0:54:46because if you don't think having sex with a straight man
0:54:46 > 0:54:50is going to destroy your reputation, a murder charge certainly will.
0:54:50 > 0:54:53I didn't kill her. Of course I didn't.
0:54:58 > 0:55:00Yes, we had an argument.
0:55:00 > 0:55:03In the library. About Simon.
0:55:04 > 0:55:07I don't know how it happened, but somehow we fought.
0:55:07 > 0:55:09She was obscene to me.
0:55:11 > 0:55:14I said to her, "You leave my man alone."
0:55:15 > 0:55:17But I didn't kill her.
0:55:17 > 0:55:19She fell.
0:55:19 > 0:55:21I don't know how.
0:55:25 > 0:55:27And then I didn't know what to do.
0:55:28 > 0:55:29It was an accident.
0:55:32 > 0:55:34Please believe me.
0:55:34 > 0:55:36So at the end of the day,
0:55:36 > 0:55:40despite her famous lesbian academic profile...
0:55:41 > 0:55:44..she was just a jealous bird who fought over a bloke.
0:55:44 > 0:55:46- No, I'm not.- Ow!
0:55:46 > 0:55:48You think you're so clever,
0:55:48 > 0:55:51- you stupid little...- Get off! - Let go of her, please!
0:55:51 > 0:55:55- Remember, this is a university. Think of your students.- Ow!
0:55:56 > 0:55:59- Are you all right?- No... Yes.
0:56:01 > 0:56:03Bitch! Ow!
0:56:08 > 0:56:11I won't be seeing Liam again.
0:56:11 > 0:56:13He just created this incredible urge in me
0:56:13 > 0:56:18to have a man who comes round and ignores me while he watches football.
0:56:18 > 0:56:20When's Dan getting back?
0:56:20 > 0:56:21She's going to be here soon.
0:56:23 > 0:56:26I hope she's as beautiful as I remember.
0:56:26 > 0:56:29I hope I haven't overstated her beauty.
0:56:29 > 0:56:31Is that her?
0:56:35 > 0:56:40OK, can we just stop this whole "she must be a man" thing?
0:56:40 > 0:56:41Cos she isn't, OK?
0:56:41 > 0:56:44Now, look, I'm really sorry that your relationship is over
0:56:44 > 0:56:46but she's going to be here soon
0:56:46 > 0:56:49and I think that she might be the one.
0:56:49 > 0:56:51OK. I'm sorry.
0:56:53 > 0:56:54She's here.
0:56:56 > 0:57:00MUSIC: "I'm Every Woman" by Chaka Khan
0:57:01 > 0:57:04SHE GRUNTS
0:57:10 > 0:57:12SHE BELCHES
0:57:13 > 0:57:16I'll have one of those.
0:57:16 > 0:57:19# I'm every woman
0:57:20 > 0:57:23# I'm every woman... #
0:57:23 > 0:57:27- I've got two to one on a suicide. - OK. I'll have a tenner on suicide.
0:57:27 > 0:57:30- Eight to one on murder. - Are you serious?
0:57:30 > 0:57:32He was going to the gym straight after the office.
0:57:32 > 0:57:34SHE SOBS What are you doing?
0:57:34 > 0:57:37- What?- The woman's crying and you're staring at her tits.
0:57:37 > 0:57:41As far as we know, this was the last place Ted was seen alive.
0:57:41 > 0:57:43Gyms are for sad, desperate narcissists
0:57:43 > 0:57:47- with a penchant for self-abuse.- How often do you go?- Yeah, very funny.
0:57:47 > 0:57:49He's not the bloke Georgina's on a date with?
0:57:49 > 0:57:51Do you want a...glass of wine?
0:57:51 > 0:57:53- I would love one.- OK.
0:57:55 > 0:57:57- Georgina!- Jack!
0:57:57 > 0:57:59CRASHING
0:58:21 > 0:58:24Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd