0:00:08 > 0:00:10'Standby, two. Mix through. Cue on two.'
0:00:10 > 0:00:13The BBC has announced the appointment of ex-head
0:00:13 > 0:00:14of Olympic Deliverance,
0:00:14 > 0:00:18Sir Ian Fletcher, as its new Head of Values.
0:00:21 > 0:00:24'Time now for the shipping forecast.'
0:00:26 > 0:00:28'Superimpose...'
0:00:28 > 0:00:33BBC RADIO PIPS SOUND
0:00:43 > 0:00:47'It's a Monday morning and one time Head of London Olympic Deliverance
0:00:47 > 0:00:50'Ian Fletcher is arriving in central London.
0:00:50 > 0:00:53'He's about to start a new chapter in his life.'
0:00:53 > 0:00:55It's a big change for me, obviously. It's a big job.
0:00:55 > 0:00:58A huge challenge. A bit like the first day at big school.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01I've splashed out on a new bike though, just in case.
0:01:01 > 0:01:02So that's all good.
0:01:02 > 0:01:05'He's come to New Broadcasting House in Upper Regent Street,
0:01:05 > 0:01:09'to take up his position as Head of Values at the BBC,
0:01:09 > 0:01:12'a key and very senior new post, specifically created
0:01:12 > 0:01:16'in the light of recent learning opportunities at the corporation.'
0:01:19 > 0:01:23Hi, Izzy. It's Ian. Hi. So, I'm... Ian Fletcher. Yes, hi.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27So, I'm actually in reception and... Oh, right. OK.
0:01:27 > 0:01:30Well, not so far. I mean, I've been here five minutes.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34No, no. That's fine. Could you? That would be great.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37OK. No, don't worry. That's fine. OK, thanks. Bye.
0:01:37 > 0:01:40There's something about the place as soon as you come in.
0:01:40 > 0:01:42You're aware that you're at the centre of something genuinely
0:01:42 > 0:01:45important, and the really exciting thing is to think that part
0:01:45 > 0:01:49of my job is going to be trying to establish where that centre is
0:01:49 > 0:01:51and also exactly what it's in the middle of.
0:01:54 > 0:01:57Y'ello. Yeah. Hi, Izzy. Hi. How are you? Yeah, I am.
0:01:57 > 0:02:01No, I mean, not. No, I haven't, not actually. Oh, right, cool.
0:02:01 > 0:02:04OK, cool. Yeah, good idea, yeah. Say again?
0:02:04 > 0:02:07Yeah, yeah. No worries. I've got it. You sent it to me.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09Yeah, yeah. OK. Cool. OK. Bye-bye. Bye...
0:02:13 > 0:02:15MOBILE RINGS
0:02:15 > 0:02:17- Hello?- Yeah, hi. Is that Ian Fletcher?- Yes, it is, yes.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20- Cool. Yeah, so, I'm Will? I'm like, I'm meeting you?- Yes.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23So, like, where actually are you? Cos I'm, like, I'm basically here.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27- Yes.- So, I'm talking on the phone, uh, I'm looking round.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29Still talking. I'm looking. Looking...
0:02:29 > 0:02:32- Hi.- No way. - Hello. Ian Fletcher.
0:02:32 > 0:02:35Yeah, hi. I'm Will. Except I've actually been here all the time.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38- Yes, so have I.- That's just, like... That's just, like, mental.- Yes.
0:02:38 > 0:02:41- Yeah, cos I'm actually, like, an intern.- Oh, right. I see.- Yeah.
0:02:41 > 0:02:44- What does that involve exactly? - Yeah. Say again?
0:02:44 > 0:02:46You want to end up working in this area eventually?
0:02:46 > 0:02:49- Well, do you mean, like, like, as a job?- Well, yes.
0:02:49 > 0:02:50- Wha... Yeah. Cool.- Yes.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52'Sixth floor.'
0:02:52 > 0:02:54What I'm doing is, I have to take you to Izzy.
0:02:54 > 0:02:55Right. And who's Izzy?
0:02:55 > 0:02:57What? She's, yeah, she's... I mean, it's not like...
0:02:57 > 0:02:59- A-ha!- Oh, hi. Yes. Simon.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01- All hail the mighty Fletcher. - Well, no.
0:03:01 > 0:03:03- Welcome to the madhouse.- Yes.
0:03:03 > 0:03:06'Simon Harwood is the BBC's Director of Strategic Governance
0:03:06 > 0:03:09'and underneath it all is probably one of the corporation's most
0:03:09 > 0:03:10'strategic directors.'
0:03:10 > 0:03:12- It's a good bike, by the way. - Yes, thanks.
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Yeah, cool. So, yeah, we're going to see Izzy.
0:03:14 > 0:03:16- Oh, no, that's OK. - No, but I have to take him to Izzy.
0:03:16 > 0:03:20- Oh, no, that's fine. I think Izzy was bringing him to me anyway.- Oh. OK.
0:03:20 > 0:03:22That's great, Will. I'll take it from here.
0:03:22 > 0:03:24- Yeah, cool. No worries.- So.- Yes.
0:03:24 > 0:03:27- What do you think of it so far? - Good. Yes.- Good.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29You know, early days, but so far, so good.
0:03:29 > 0:03:31- Are you OK with that like that? - Yes, no. That's fine.
0:03:31 > 0:03:33I've got one. They're brilliant, aren't they?
0:03:33 > 0:03:36Yes, no, they're great, yes. I'm looking forward to getting started
0:03:36 > 0:03:38- and just generally... - No, I'm sorry. I can't.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41- That's just not. I can't just... - Well, no, no, no. I mean it's...
0:03:41 > 0:03:44- It's probably better to start again.- Well, no, you...
0:03:44 > 0:03:46- Really, it's very easy. It's just a knack.- Yes.
0:03:46 > 0:03:48Let me just take that. Thank you.
0:03:48 > 0:03:51So, basically, it's just the back wheels. Forward and under.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54- Right, yes.- And then you've got your front wheel. There you go.
0:03:54 > 0:03:56- It's out and round.- Yes. Round. Yes.
0:03:56 > 0:04:00- Just drop the saddle down. - Yes, exactly.- And there.- Yes.
0:04:00 > 0:04:02- Brilliant, aren't they? - Yes, they are. Yes. Thanks.
0:04:02 > 0:04:05Listen, once you've got your bearings and everything,
0:04:05 > 0:04:06- be good to have a coffee.- Right, yes.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08- I mean, if you can be arsed. - No, absolutely.
0:04:08 > 0:04:11Come and find me. I'm just past Norman Wisdom on the right.
0:04:11 > 0:04:14- Right. I'll just get myself sorted out first.- Oh, yes. Sure.
0:04:14 > 0:04:18- Probably should find my office and everything.- Yeah.
0:04:20 > 0:04:22So, the question we asked ourselves is...
0:04:24 > 0:04:27..how would it be if things didn't have to be the way we know
0:04:27 > 0:04:29they actually are, yes?
0:04:29 > 0:04:31What would a world look like if it was different?
0:04:31 > 0:04:33'New Broadcasting House was designed
0:04:33 > 0:04:36'and built virtually from the ground upwards
0:04:36 > 0:04:39'and there are regular Digital Handshake Sessions for new staff.
0:04:39 > 0:04:44'Today's run by Senior Technical Services Choreographer, Adam Brady.'
0:04:44 > 0:04:47The whole point about Intuitive Technology,
0:04:47 > 0:04:49as opposed to Intelligent Technology, which is basically
0:04:49 > 0:04:52just lights going on and off in toilets, yes?
0:04:52 > 0:04:54The whole point about Intuitive Technology,
0:04:54 > 0:04:58being that it comes pre-loaded into the building itself, OK?
0:04:58 > 0:05:01Welcome to your virtual PA.
0:05:02 > 0:05:06One unified system, that changes the game, integrates your world,
0:05:06 > 0:05:09synchs you with everything
0:05:09 > 0:05:12and everyone around you, without you doing anything.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Synchs you to the BBC itself, in real-time, wirelessly,
0:05:15 > 0:05:17continuously and in real-time.
0:05:18 > 0:05:2111 years in development,
0:05:21 > 0:05:23guys and everyone,
0:05:23 > 0:05:25I give you Syncopatico.
0:05:29 > 0:05:30Fucking hell!
0:05:40 > 0:05:42And of course, the angle they're going with is,
0:05:42 > 0:05:45if Paxman can fall asleep on air, what's it like for the viewers?
0:05:45 > 0:05:47- Yeah, of course they are. - And we're saying he wasn't asleep?
0:05:47 > 0:05:50We're saying he was concentrating on the answer he was being given.
0:05:50 > 0:05:53- Right, and who was he interviewing again?- Alex Salmond.- Ah. OK.- Yes.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55I know, but that's what we're saying, OK.
0:05:55 > 0:05:57Right. OK, good. All righty.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59'Meanwhile, in Tommy Cooper,
0:05:59 > 0:06:03'the daily Senior Team Damage Limitation Meeting, chaired by
0:06:03 > 0:06:06'Director of Strategic Governance, Simon Harwood,
0:06:06 > 0:06:08'is already underway.'
0:06:08 > 0:06:11- Ah, right. Good.- Ah. Thank God. - Apologies, everybody.- The great man.
0:06:11 > 0:06:14First of all, the meeting wasn't in my Syncopatical, for some reason.
0:06:14 > 0:06:17- No, no, of course. - And then when Will came to find me,
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- we ended up on the wrong floor. Didn't we, Will?- Yeah, totally, yes.
0:06:20 > 0:06:22- Yes.- Mental.- Anyway, many apologies. - No, no, no, come on in.
0:06:22 > 0:06:26- Actually, Will, would you just take that for me?- Yeah. Sure, no worries.
0:06:26 > 0:06:27Cool.
0:06:27 > 0:06:29So, I mean, what...
0:06:29 > 0:06:31- No, just take it.- OK. Cool.- Thanks.
0:06:31 > 0:06:33Brilliant. I don't know whether you know everyone.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36'On the Damage Limitation Team, Ian will be joining
0:06:36 > 0:06:39'Head of Output Anna Rampton, recruited last year from her
0:06:39 > 0:06:43'role as Head of Daytime Factuality at ITV, current Controller
0:06:43 > 0:06:46'of News and Current Affairs Neil Reid, Senior BBC Communications
0:06:46 > 0:06:50'Officer Tracey Pritchard, who as well as having been with the
0:06:50 > 0:06:52'Corporation for nearly 20 years is also Welsh,
0:06:52 > 0:06:54'and two other people.'
0:06:54 > 0:06:56So we've had the Independent and then the Telegraph has dug up
0:06:56 > 0:06:58this guy from Mebyon Kernow from somewhere.
0:06:58 > 0:07:00- Yes, I saw that.- Uhhh. - From Cornwall, presumably.
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Now, I'm not being funny or anything
0:07:02 > 0:07:05but this guy is in all probability a total nutcase, OK?
0:07:05 > 0:07:08But his thing is there aren't enough Cornish voices and faces
0:07:08 > 0:07:11on the BBC and that Cornish issues in general are under-represented.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14- Yeah, bollocks.- Brilliant. - I don't know what's going on
0:07:14 > 0:07:17in the rest of his life but that's what he goes around thinking.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20- Anyone? Any thoughts? - Two words. Rick, Stein.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22OK, so what he's saying about Rick Stein is,
0:07:22 > 0:07:24he's saying we sent him off round China or I dunno,
0:07:24 > 0:07:26- wherever we've actually sent him now.- Is it China?
0:07:26 > 0:07:29- Uh...- Yeah.- OK, well, wherever. - India.- Oh, yes, India. Yes.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32Anyway, his point is, we should have kept him in Cornwall, where
0:07:32 > 0:07:34he belongs, with his little dog and his Land Rover and whatever.
0:07:34 > 0:07:38We gave China to Caroline Quentin last year at ITV, if you remember.
0:07:38 > 0:07:39Oh, that's right, yes. You so did.
0:07:39 > 0:07:42Forgive me, but honestly, what the fuck are Cornish issues?
0:07:42 > 0:07:44I'm sorry, guys. I'm not being funny or anything
0:07:44 > 0:07:47- but this is like finding a spot on your whatsit.- Brilliant.
0:07:47 > 0:07:50Better to deal with it now than ignore it and see what happens.
0:07:50 > 0:07:51I mean, I don't know.
0:07:51 > 0:07:54Is this something you'd want to be across in terms of Values, Ian?
0:07:54 > 0:07:56- Yes.- I'm just thinking... - No, absolutely.
0:07:56 > 0:07:59- Cos if anything, it's probably more a Values issue.- Yes.
0:07:59 > 0:08:02- You know, rather than...- No, yes. - Rather than anything else.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04- Yes, no, I mean, yes, absolutely. - Good. Good.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07- So I should probably just mention that to Tony this afternoon.- Uh-huh.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10OK, great. Good-oh. This is all going terribly well.
0:08:13 > 0:08:17'With a gap before his next meeting, there's time at last for Ian
0:08:17 > 0:08:19'to explore some of the possibilities offered
0:08:19 > 0:08:23'by the open plan work environment in New Broadcasting House.'
0:08:37 > 0:08:41No, know exactly what you mean. Well, I mean, you say that
0:08:41 > 0:08:43but the fact is, a few years ago, Alan Titchmarsh was voted
0:08:43 > 0:08:46the world's second sexiest man after George Clooney.
0:08:48 > 0:08:51No. I'm not, really. You can look it up.
0:08:51 > 0:08:56OK. Look forward to hearing from you, Annabelle. OK. Bye. Bye.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Hi. Sorry, I don't want to disturb you. I was just...
0:08:59 > 0:09:00- I wouldn't, if I were you.- Right.
0:09:01 > 0:09:03Oh, right.
0:09:03 > 0:09:06- They've been there for four days. - Right.- I think he's in Drama.
0:09:06 > 0:09:09- Oh. OK. Well... - Yes, he is. Drama. Yes.- Yes.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12Right, well, OK. Well, thanks anyway.
0:09:12 > 0:09:13Right.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16- You can use this one for a while, if you're desperate.- Oh...well.
0:09:16 > 0:09:18- I shouldn't really. - I mean, are you sure?
0:09:18 > 0:09:21I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it up. Typical.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Oh, right. Well, thanks. Thank you.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28- Sorry, I won't disturb you any more. - That's OK.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30- But I have to ask...- Sure.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32- ..that thing about Alan Titchmarsh...- Right, yes.
0:09:32 > 0:09:34That's not actually true, is it?
0:09:34 > 0:09:36- Yes.- No, it's not.- It is, yes. - But I mean...
0:09:36 > 0:09:39- What, you more of a Clooney man? - What? No, well, but that's...
0:09:39 > 0:09:42- It was a survey. - Well, who the hell was voting?
0:09:42 > 0:09:44I don't know. Maybe it was out of two.
0:09:44 > 0:09:47'Producer Lucy Freeman has been with the BBC for eight years,
0:09:47 > 0:09:50'and as such is both an experienced producer and still there.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53'Following an unforeseen rationalisation within her
0:09:53 > 0:09:55'department, she's recently been invited to work
0:09:55 > 0:09:58'on the sorts of programmes she never dreamed she'd be invited
0:09:58 > 0:10:00'to work on when she originally joined.'
0:10:00 > 0:10:02- I think we're almost there with Alan now, aren't we, David?- Yeah.
0:10:02 > 0:10:04- Which is good, obviously. - Lovely Alan.
0:10:04 > 0:10:07'Britain's Tastiest Village has been theoretically devised by
0:10:07 > 0:10:10'Entertainment Format Producer David Wilkes,
0:10:10 > 0:10:13'and is to be theoretically hosted by the dream team
0:10:13 > 0:10:15'of Alan Titchmarsh and Clare Balding.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17'It's been commissioned by Head of Output Anna Rampton,
0:10:17 > 0:10:20'and she's asked David and Lucy into her orbit for an update.'
0:10:20 > 0:10:22- We've done the deal. - David?- Pretty much, yeah.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24- We haven't done the deal. - Yeah, pretty much.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27- I left a message with his agents earlier.- Right. Cool.
0:10:27 > 0:10:29- The fact is we need Alan locked in by now.- Yes.
0:10:29 > 0:10:31Yeah, no, it's fine. It's like Alan's just totally cool about everything.
0:10:31 > 0:10:34- Yes, but...- I think he's a lot happier in his life now basically.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36- Shit, can you tell Danny I can't do Friday?- Sure. Yep.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- OK. What about Clare?- Right. - Lovely Clare.
0:10:39 > 0:10:41Yes, so where are we up to with Clare now, David?
0:10:41 > 0:10:44OK, so, with Clare, it's just a bit more, it's like...
0:10:44 > 0:10:45A bit more what?
0:10:45 > 0:10:48OK, can I just say, OK, this is so not our fault.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50'But there's bad news.
0:10:50 > 0:10:53'The dates of How Big Is Your Dog?, a major new ITV show,
0:10:53 > 0:10:56'to which Clare Balding is already committed,
0:10:56 > 0:10:58'have changed at the last minute, due to genuinely bad luck.'
0:10:58 > 0:11:01- ..just piss-poor bad luck. - So you're telling me what?
0:11:01 > 0:11:03- Basically, we love Clare... - Yes, but David...
0:11:03 > 0:11:06I said to her on the phone, "If I had my way, Clare, you would literally be Queen."
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Mind you, she pretty much already is and she was like, "Oh, shut up."
0:11:08 > 0:11:11- Tuesday's gone away now, right? - Yep, gone.- Good. OK.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13You're telling me we've lost Clare Balding.
0:11:13 > 0:11:14Uh, well, we...
0:11:14 > 0:11:19I mean, if what David's saying is true, and I'm hearing it for the first time now,
0:11:19 > 0:11:22- then it does look as if we might have lost Clare, doesn't it?- Right.
0:11:22 > 0:11:25I know. It's not words you ever want to hear.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30Apparently, OK, the most common last word the pilots
0:11:30 > 0:11:32- say before they crash, right, is 'shit'.- Can he shut up?
0:11:32 > 0:11:35- Yes. Can you please shut up, David? - Yes, all right.
0:11:50 > 0:11:52- Come on in.- Thanks. - Excuse the mess.
0:11:52 > 0:11:54So there is such a thing as an office, then?
0:11:54 > 0:11:55No, sadly not. No door.
0:11:55 > 0:11:57Well, it looks pretty much like an office to me.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59What it is, technically, is an Interactive Space.
0:11:59 > 0:12:01- Right, is it? - If anyone's interested.- Right.
0:12:01 > 0:12:04I suppose we'd better do some interacting quick then.
0:12:04 > 0:12:06Absolutely. Have a seat, if you can be bothered.
0:12:06 > 0:12:09- You know Ben and Jerry, don't you? - The...- Hi.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11I know. Real names. What are the chances?
0:12:11 > 0:12:15'Director of Strategic Governance Simon Harwood has invited Ian
0:12:15 > 0:12:18'into his Interactive Space for an informal chin wag.'
0:12:18 > 0:12:21..just to get a sense of how you wanted to play things
0:12:21 > 0:12:24and what all our lives are going to be like in the Fletcher era.
0:12:24 > 0:12:26Yes. Well, I mean, with Way Ahead...
0:12:26 > 0:12:30- Yep.- I've done some thinking obviously.- Great. See?
0:12:30 > 0:12:33'A key part of Ian's new role as Head of Values is to establish
0:12:33 > 0:12:37'a new Way Ahead Task Force, with a remit to think Big Thoughts
0:12:37 > 0:12:40'and to clarify the purpose of the BBC in a digital age.'
0:12:40 > 0:12:43I mean, I don't know whether you had a chance to look
0:12:43 > 0:12:44at the Pathfinding document.
0:12:44 > 0:12:49- The...- Ah, OK. You haven't seen that. - Have we seen that?- Nope.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Apparently I haven't seen it. Sorry.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55OK. Cos I did put it in the Shared Priorities Folder in Syncopatico.
0:12:55 > 0:12:56- Oh, right. OK. - At least I think I did.
0:12:56 > 0:12:58- You haven't got anything on paper. - Paper?- Yep.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Uh, cos... Oh, no, it's in my Personal Folder,
0:13:01 > 0:13:02so there must be a way of...
0:13:02 > 0:13:05Oh, I tell you what happens now. This is where Izzy comes in.
0:13:05 > 0:13:08- She does something brilliant and everything's lovely again.- OK.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11'With the renewal of the BBC's Royal Charter on which the future
0:13:11 > 0:13:14'of the corporation depends, due in 2016, finding an answer to the
0:13:14 > 0:13:17'question "What Is the BBC For?" before then
0:13:17 > 0:13:19'could potentially be important.'
0:13:19 > 0:13:23- Thank you, Izzy. - You OK for coffee?
0:13:23 > 0:13:27- Yeah, fine, thanks. Maybe later.- OK.
0:13:27 > 0:13:29Right, good. So, no, yes, it's obviously very much
0:13:29 > 0:13:31- Big Picture stuff at this stage... - Brilliant.
0:13:31 > 0:13:34'But as well as thinking about what the BBC is for, it's clear
0:13:34 > 0:13:37'that Simon is also keen to think some Big Thoughts about Cornwall.'
0:13:37 > 0:13:39So what I thought was...
0:13:39 > 0:13:42No, brilliant. And when it comes to this bloody Trescott guy...
0:13:42 > 0:13:44Right, OK. I mean, that's a different, uh...
0:13:44 > 0:13:47- Yeah, what are your thoughts on that?- Right.- What do you think we should do?- Right.
0:13:47 > 0:13:52I suppose my thinking is, with that, sometimes it's a good idea to reach out to these people, rather than...
0:13:52 > 0:13:55- Brilliant.- ..you know, to make them feel they've been listened to
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- and they generally... - You think you should meet him.
0:13:57 > 0:13:59- Yes, I mean...- Get him up from Cornwall and get him in here.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02- Well, obviously that's something I've...- God. That is amazing.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05- Have you been talking to Tony about this?- Tony...- Tony. Director General guy.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Yes, no, of course. No, I haven't, but in fact...
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Cos Tony is the king of the personal approach, isn't he?
0:14:09 > 0:14:11- Uh-huh.- Because one thing I have been thinking...- Yep.
0:14:11 > 0:14:14It would be good to sit down and have a coffee with Tony
0:14:14 > 0:14:15myself at some point.
0:14:15 > 0:14:17- Yes. Absolutely. - I mean, if that's possible.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20- No, I think that's a great idea, Ian. - Right.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23- No, we should definitely think about that.- Uh-huh.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44- Carol.- This is Anna Rampton, Head of Output.- Yes.- Hello.- Hello.
0:14:44 > 0:14:46- And David Wilkes, Producer and Format Originator.- Hi.
0:14:46 > 0:14:49I know we haven't started yet, but can I just say,
0:14:49 > 0:14:50I never want this lunch to end.
0:14:50 > 0:14:53'Meanwhile, elsewhere, it's a different day altogether
0:14:53 > 0:14:56'and somewhere in central London, Anna Rampton, David Wilkes
0:14:56 > 0:14:59'and Lucy Freeman are meeting Carol Vorderman for salad.'
0:14:59 > 0:15:02I mean, I suppose basically, in a nutshell, you could say...
0:15:02 > 0:15:04- I mean, David, do you want to talk about...- No, that's cool. Go for it.
0:15:04 > 0:15:06Right, I suppose you could say it's a sort of
0:15:06 > 0:15:08- Countryfile meets Bake Off.- OK.
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Yeah, with a bit of The One Show thrown in just in case.
0:15:10 > 0:15:14- Absolutely, yes.- We're like, no-one's ever actually done this before.
0:15:14 > 0:15:15No, I'm not... I'm not surprised.
0:15:15 > 0:15:18'With Anna due to formally announce Britain's Tastiest Village
0:15:18 > 0:15:22'next week, they know that after the unavoidable loss of
0:15:22 > 0:15:25'Clare Balding, this is their chance to save the show and change the
0:15:25 > 0:15:29'face of Sunday evening television, for either better or worse.'
0:15:29 > 0:15:31And then it's like, well, which is better?
0:15:31 > 0:15:33- Your school kids' sandwiches in Sandwich...- Yes.
0:15:33 > 0:15:36- Or Alan's old people's Eccles cakes in Eccles?- Yes.
0:15:36 > 0:15:39But Sandwich is a town. It isn't a village.
0:15:39 > 0:15:41Yeah, but for us, it's sort of a village.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43Obviously... Thanks.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46- Obviously, David's still finalising the details.- Yes, obviously.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48But we just thought, we know it's a long shot,
0:15:48 > 0:15:51- but this is a big show for us. - No, I don't want this.
0:15:51 > 0:15:53- Oh. But...- I don't want it.- OK.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56So, yes, so we just found ourselves thinking, "I wonder if there's any
0:15:56 > 0:15:59"way in the world we might be able to get Carol Vorderman interested."
0:15:59 > 0:16:03- Yeah.- OK.- You know, cos to have Carol Vorderman on the BBC,
0:16:03 > 0:16:05in prime-time, finally. That would...
0:16:05 > 0:16:07The fact is we'd love you to do this show, Carol.
0:16:07 > 0:16:09I mean, I'm not going to let myself think about it. I can't...
0:16:09 > 0:16:12- We also think it would be really great for you.- Mm, yes.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15I mean, for me, it's like, me, in a restaurant, with Carol Vorderman.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19I'm like, "Guys, please, whatever happens, it's enough. It's enough."
0:16:21 > 0:16:23- Nigel.- Hi.
0:16:23 > 0:16:27'Meanwhile, back in W1A, Mebyon Kernow bigwig
0:16:27 > 0:16:30'and Cornish eminence grise Nigel Trescott has arrived
0:16:30 > 0:16:33'at New Broadcasting House in order to be taken seriously.'
0:16:33 > 0:16:37You name me one Cornish Newsreader or presenter or whatever...
0:16:37 > 0:16:40'In his time with Mebyon Kernow, Nigel has tasted defeat
0:16:40 > 0:16:43'in no less than seven separate Cornish by-elections,
0:16:43 > 0:16:46'so if anyone knows what he's talking about, it's him.'
0:16:46 > 0:16:48..hardly turn on your TV nowadays without
0:16:48 > 0:16:51- some bloody Scottish person yacking on.- Yes.- Usually women.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53'If Ian's job is to make him feel he's being listened to,
0:16:53 > 0:16:56'the initial challenge is to find somewhere in the building
0:16:56 > 0:16:59- 'where fewer people can hear him.' - ..Big Hairy Geordies.- Yes.
0:16:59 > 0:17:02You got gays in just about every conceivable position imaginable,
0:17:02 > 0:17:04- you don't know where to look. - Hang on a minute.
0:17:04 > 0:17:06No, that's perfectly fine, Ian, absolutely fine.
0:17:06 > 0:17:07I'm sorry, I'm going to have to...
0:17:07 > 0:17:09I got at least one son who's a gay already
0:17:09 > 0:17:11and the other one is thinking about it.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Well, I mean, just see what happens in here.
0:17:13 > 0:17:17OPERA ARIA PLAYS
0:17:17 > 0:17:19Right, no, that... That's something else.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25- First of all, I'm not stupid, OK? - Yeah.- Well, exactly.
0:17:25 > 0:17:27I've been in the industry a long time.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29- Obviously, yes.- Oh, yeah, ages.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32'Meanwhile, in the restaurant with Carol Vorderman, things have
0:17:32 > 0:17:35'now moved beyond salad to the nitty gritty phase of the lunch.'
0:17:35 > 0:17:38Someone's dropped out, haven't they? I'm guessing it's Clare Balding.
0:17:38 > 0:17:40It usually is, at the moment.
0:17:40 > 0:17:43- Well, that's...- That's OK. But before we go any further...
0:17:43 > 0:17:46- Right, yes.- Alan Titchmarsh...- Yes. - He's actually attached?
0:17:47 > 0:17:49- Well, he... It's... - Pretty much, yeah.
0:17:49 > 0:17:51Well, though I think what we...
0:17:51 > 0:17:53I'm not drinking this coffee, it's vile.
0:17:53 > 0:17:57- Is he attached or not? - Well, he... Yes, he is. Yes. Basically.
0:17:57 > 0:18:01- He is?- Yes. - Pretty much. Yeah.- Right. OK.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06I have to tell you, Alan's very excited about working with you.
0:18:06 > 0:18:09HE'S excited? The two of you together. I mean, hot! It's downright dangerous.
0:18:09 > 0:18:11Actually, could he shut up?
0:18:11 > 0:18:14- Yes, could you shut up, please, David?- Absolutely. Yep.- Yes.
0:18:14 > 0:18:15I think the first thing to say is,
0:18:15 > 0:18:18I'm so glad you've taken the trouble to come in to see us today.
0:18:18 > 0:18:21No, you're not. Don't be stupid. I'm a pain in the ass, I know I am.
0:18:21 > 0:18:22Well, it's very much my arse that...
0:18:22 > 0:18:24You know, I mean you've come to the right...
0:18:24 > 0:18:26I've come to the right ass?
0:18:26 > 0:18:29'Back at New Broadcasting House, Ian has finally taken up
0:18:29 > 0:18:30'a position with Nigel Trescott.'
0:18:30 > 0:18:33The point is, it's absolutely there for you to be a pain in.
0:18:33 > 0:18:34Right, so how do we go on from here?
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Well, no, I hear what you're saying, Nigel.
0:18:36 > 0:18:38I'm going to make it my business to get on top of this.
0:18:38 > 0:18:39Yeah, you say that...
0:18:39 > 0:18:42And I'm going to come back to you with some sort of response.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44Yeah, you did the Olympics, didn't you?
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Well, I wouldn't say I personally...
0:18:46 > 0:18:48How many Cornish athletes in the Olympics?
0:18:48 > 0:18:49That's a rhetorical question.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54- How many?- Sorry, I thought it was a rhetori...
0:18:54 > 0:18:55- Four.- Four.- Yes.- Right.
0:18:55 > 0:18:57- They all lost.- Ah. - Every single one of the buggers.
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Right, well, that wasn't really my area.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03Ah... Course it didn't. Cornwall never bloody is, is it?
0:19:16 > 0:19:18'Eight o'clock on another morning.
0:19:18 > 0:19:21'Ian has now been in his new job for nearly two weeks.'
0:19:21 > 0:19:24- Morning.- Hi. - Forward with Fletcher, eh?- Yes. Hi.
0:19:24 > 0:19:28'With his honeymoon period at last behind him, today is a big day.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31'This morning sees the first ever meeting of the Way Ahead Task Force,
0:19:31 > 0:19:32'with Ian in the chair.'
0:19:32 > 0:19:34- Glad I caught you, actually. - Oh, right?
0:19:34 > 0:19:37For what it's worth, I think you've put together a really rather
0:19:37 > 0:19:39- wonderful team.- I hope so.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42- And on that subject... I usually go saddle next.- Yes, thank you.
0:19:42 > 0:19:44On that subject, I was going to forward you an e-mail from
0:19:44 > 0:19:45Tony, but then I thought,
0:19:45 > 0:19:47"No, sod it. It's good news. I'll tell him myself."
0:19:47 > 0:19:50- Good news?- Rather fabulous news, actually.- Right.
0:19:50 > 0:19:52- You going up, eventually? - Yes.- Good-oh.
0:19:55 > 0:19:57No, I think we're announcing it at lunch time or something
0:19:57 > 0:19:59but we may have to find one more chair
0:19:59 > 0:20:01around the Way Ahead table, if that's all right with you?
0:20:01 > 0:20:04- One more chair?- That's if we can find a room with any chairs at all.
0:20:04 > 0:20:05We should be so lucky!
0:20:05 > 0:20:07- I've booked Frankie Howerd. - Oh, brilliant.
0:20:07 > 0:20:08- One more chair?- Yes.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10'Sixth floor.'
0:20:11 > 0:20:14- So, basically, you know what Tony's like?- Well, still no, actually.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17- He has these very clear ideas and he acts on them.- Right, yes.
0:20:17 > 0:20:20- And his current thinking is 'Brand BBC'.- Yes. Is it?
0:20:20 > 0:20:21Yep, so his thinking is,
0:20:21 > 0:20:24- we've already got the guy who did the Olympics. Tick.- Right.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27And London Twenty Twelve was about the most successful brand
0:20:27 > 0:20:29- in the history of brands. - Where is this going?
0:20:29 > 0:20:32So why don't we find out who did that and let's get them too? Tick.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35Sorry, sorry, Simon, so what are you actually telling me?
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Oh, you've already got Fred Astaire. What do you do?
0:20:37 > 0:20:38You get Ginger Rogers.
0:20:38 > 0:20:41No, but OK, here's the thing with BBC Four OK... No, shut up.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43The thing with BBC Four is it's like a Marmite channel, OK?
0:20:43 > 0:20:46And the thing with Marmite is it's like no-one eats that shit, OK?
0:20:46 > 0:20:48No, Fran. OK, don't care. Shut up. Got to go. OK. OK.
0:20:48 > 0:20:49Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Ian, Hey!
0:20:52 > 0:20:57- You know Siobhan, of course.- This is going to be so fun.- Brilliant.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03'For Ian, the first ever Way Ahead meeting is a key opportunity
0:21:03 > 0:21:06'to consolidate whatever authority he might have in his new
0:21:06 > 0:21:08'job as well to think some Big Thoughts.'
0:21:08 > 0:21:11- Will. Can you do something for me? - Yeah, sure. Yeah, cool.
0:21:11 > 0:21:14If you've got a minute, would you be able to go down and get me
0:21:14 > 0:21:16- a cappuccino?- Cool, yeah.- You know, a proper one from downstairs?
0:21:16 > 0:21:19- Yeah, no, a latte. - No, a cappuccino.- OK, yeah.
0:21:19 > 0:21:21And then if you could bring it in to me in the meeting...
0:21:21 > 0:21:23- Right. What, so... - No, it's fine, just, you know,
0:21:23 > 0:21:26- just knock and walk in. That's all. You don't need to say anything.- OK.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29- Thanks, Will. That'd be really great.- Just come in?- Yes.- Cool.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31I'll settle up with you afterwards, obviously.
0:21:31 > 0:21:34- Yeah, no worries.- Great. - A cappuccino.- Yes.- OK, cool.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Well, first of all, welcome, everybody,
0:21:41 > 0:21:44and welcome to the first ever Way Ahead Task Force Group.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47- Yay.- I suppose I could say, really, welcome to the future.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48- Amen.- Amen.- Amen.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Guys, we are so going to kill here.
0:21:50 > 0:21:54'Of the many meetings he's been to in his first two weeks at the BBC,
0:21:54 > 0:21:56'this is one where Ian finally has the chance to put
0:21:56 > 0:21:59'the value of Values literally on the agenda.'
0:21:59 > 0:22:02There's one word that I want us to take with us on the journey
0:22:02 > 0:22:04and to set the term for everything we do. That word is confidence.
0:22:04 > 0:22:06- Confidence.- Brilliant.- Sure.- Christ.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09There are going to be challenges ahead, of course there are,
0:22:09 > 0:22:11but we are fortunate enough to be sitting at the centre
0:22:11 > 0:22:13of the greatest broadcasting organisation,
0:22:13 > 0:22:16arguably one of the greatest ideas in the world.
0:22:16 > 0:22:18- # BBC, BBC... #- Yes, exactly.
0:22:18 > 0:22:19MOBILE PHONE BUZZES
0:22:19 > 0:22:21And... and as we embark on this journey,
0:22:21 > 0:22:24I feel it's a good time to remind ourselves of that.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26- Fuck!- OK, good. And in the spirit of...
0:22:26 > 0:22:27COW MOOS
0:22:27 > 0:22:30And in the spirit of thinking Big Thoughts, I just wanted to outline
0:22:30 > 0:22:32in broad strokes what I think are some of the...
0:22:32 > 0:22:33MOBILE HUMS
0:22:33 > 0:22:36- Ah. OK.- Yes, just some of the key... - Ah, righty-ho.- Right, some of the...
0:22:36 > 0:22:38MOBILES MOO AND BUZZ
0:22:38 > 0:22:43- Sorry, Ian. Got to do this.- Right. - Brilliant.- OK, here we go.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46- TV:- ..BBC's nightly regional news programme, Spotlight South West,
0:22:46 > 0:22:50since the mid '90s, but despite repeated attempts,
0:22:50 > 0:22:53Sally Wingate has never made the step up to national bulletins.
0:22:53 > 0:22:55I'll be back on Monday with Nick,
0:22:55 > 0:22:59and hopefully more on how those badgers are getting on.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Now she says she believes that could be down to the corporation's
0:23:02 > 0:23:05institutional anti-West Country bias.
0:23:05 > 0:23:06- What?- Bollocks.
0:23:06 > 0:23:10I mean, nothing's ever said but it's almost as if the accent alone
0:23:10 > 0:23:13is enough, which when you think about it is doubly unfair because
0:23:13 > 0:23:16I've never had a West Country accent and I'm not actually from Cornwall.
0:23:16 > 0:23:19So do you feel you've been discriminated against?
0:23:19 > 0:23:22Yes. I suppose I do feel that. Yes.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24Mebyon Kernow's Nigel Trescott says there's nothing
0:23:24 > 0:23:27about Sally Wingate's story that surprises him.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30There's nothing wrong with being Cornish. It's not something to be ashamed of.
0:23:30 > 0:23:32- Oh, right. Here we go. - Alistair. What the fuck?
0:23:32 > 0:23:34..there's nothing wrong being a woman either.
0:23:34 > 0:23:37Fact is, if you're a woman, from Cornwall, and you work for the BBC...
0:23:37 > 0:23:38Yeah, OK. Thank you. Shut up.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40..you might as well pack up and go home.
0:23:40 > 0:23:43- No, bollocks, Alistair. I'm coming down.- Right.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46This is our own. This is the BBC News Channel, for fuck's sake.
0:23:46 > 0:23:47Not Kamikaze fucking Corner.
0:23:47 > 0:23:50- Right. OK.- Bummer.
0:23:50 > 0:23:52So, that's happened. Brilliant.
0:24:05 > 0:24:09- Hi, Will.- But, yeah, hey, yeah. - You OK?- Yeah, cool. So, yeah...
0:24:09 > 0:24:11- I'm just going down to that cafe on the ground floor.- OK.
0:24:11 > 0:24:14- I was thinking, if you wanted anything...- Oh, right.
0:24:14 > 0:24:16I'm going to get Ian Fletcher a cappuccino.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18No, I don't think so, really. No.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20- OK.- I'm good, thank you.- OK, cool.
0:24:20 > 0:24:22- But thank you. - Yeah, no worries. Cool.
0:24:22 > 0:24:24- Actually, do you know what? - Yeah, hi.
0:24:24 > 0:24:27- I will have a skinny latte. - Cool. Yeah. Cappuccino.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29- No, a latte.- Yeah, cool, yeah. - If you're sure.
0:24:29 > 0:24:31Yeah, cool. Yeah. A latte. Yeah, cool.
0:24:34 > 0:24:36So, guys, so here's the thing with this.
0:24:36 > 0:24:40So what you're looking at here is a major Brand Message Dropout.
0:24:40 > 0:24:41- What?- Yes, OK. Thanks, Siobhan.
0:24:41 > 0:24:44No, all I'm just saying is you don't triage this thing now,
0:24:44 > 0:24:47- you're so going to be up to your ass in alligators here. - Yes, thank you.
0:24:47 > 0:24:48'Meanwhile back in Frankie Howerd,
0:24:48 > 0:24:51'such is the gravity of the situation that they've now
0:24:51 > 0:24:54'been joined by Head of Output Anna Rampton, which means things
0:24:54 > 0:24:57'have got very serious indeed. There's already been
0:24:57 > 0:25:00'an e-mail from BBC Director General Lord Tony Hall asking for
0:25:00 > 0:25:02'clarification on the corporation's handling
0:25:02 > 0:25:04'of the Sally Wingate issue.'
0:25:04 > 0:25:06- What we need here is a strategy. - Yes, exactly, yes.
0:25:06 > 0:25:09- Brilliant. So, Ian, what's your thinking?- Well...
0:25:09 > 0:25:10Where's your gut on this?
0:25:10 > 0:25:12I mean, with strategy, I suppose I'm mindful that that's
0:25:12 > 0:25:14- actually your area, Simon. - Oh, now, pish.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17- Don't want to tread on anyone's... - No, nonsense. Tell us what to do.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20- KNOCK AT DOOR - I mean, Anna, obviously Programmes isn't my area.- No.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22Will, yes. So forgive me,
0:25:22 > 0:25:25- I just want to put this out there for discussion.- Yes.
0:25:25 > 0:25:26Yes, Will, it's fine. Come in.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28Thanks, Will. That's great.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32- It's cappuccino.- Yes, great. - Yeah, OK.- Thanks.- Yeah.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35- Well, or I mean... - No, it's cool. Crap.
0:25:35 > 0:25:38Great, so, yes. No, Anna, I was just thinking, is there something
0:25:38 > 0:25:41we might be able to find for Sally Wingate that might actually...
0:25:41 > 0:25:42- Right, yes. Good.- Flog It!- No.
0:25:42 > 0:25:45- Snog, Marry, Avoid.- Well, yes, or... - I so love that show.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47Yes, or I don't know, some sort of Bake Off...
0:25:47 > 0:25:49- Yes, good, very strong.- Spring Watch. - Well, now...- Good.
0:25:49 > 0:25:53Badgers in Cornwall. There's all your problems solved in one go.
0:25:53 > 0:25:56- OK, OK, OK, Loose Women. - Yes, so that's an ITV show.- Perfect.
0:25:56 > 0:25:57I mean, Anna,
0:25:57 > 0:26:00might it be worth thinking about Britain's Tastiest Village?
0:26:00 > 0:26:01- No.- Now you're talking.- I'm sorry.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04I mean, if it's a new show we've got coming through anyway...
0:26:04 > 0:26:06The fact is, Village is appointment to view television.
0:26:06 > 0:26:08- But I mean, might it be worth considering for a moment?- No.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10- No, OK, right.- No, it's not.
0:26:10 > 0:26:12OK, so we can be confident about that and take that
0:26:12 > 0:26:15- straight off the list of possible solutions to worry about.- Yes.
0:26:15 > 0:26:18- So that's all good.- Cool. - And so we move on.- Brilliant.
0:26:18 > 0:26:20OK, so... Now back to Preferences.
0:26:20 > 0:26:23- OK.- No, Preferences.- Oh, OK.
0:26:25 > 0:26:27Keyboard.
0:26:27 > 0:26:30Yep. Shortcuts.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33- Yeah. Now, Services.- Right.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37And there you go, Capture Full Screen.
0:26:37 > 0:26:38Cool.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Yeah, and you can just assign whatever you like.
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Oh, right. No, OK, I see.
0:26:42 > 0:26:44- That is so neat.- Yeah.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02I mean, this is such bad luck for you, this, honestly.
0:27:02 > 0:27:03Well, I mean... For me?
0:27:03 > 0:27:06You must be thinking, "I've barely got my feet under my desk."
0:27:06 > 0:27:09I mean, haven't got a desk to put any feet under yet.
0:27:09 > 0:27:11No, I know. Yes, brilliant! Outrageous.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13'But broadcasting is a world lived in real-time.
0:27:13 > 0:27:16'And whatever that means, by the end of the day, events have
0:27:16 > 0:27:18'already been overtaken by other events.'
0:27:18 > 0:27:20Yes, right, cos I'm not being funny or anything,
0:27:20 > 0:27:23but it's genocide in the Press Office and not in a good way.
0:27:23 > 0:27:25'There's now been an e-mail from Lord Chris Patten,
0:27:25 > 0:27:28'Chair of the BBC Trust, asking for an urgent response
0:27:28 > 0:27:31'to Director General Lord Tony Hall's earlier e-mail
0:27:31 > 0:27:35'seeking clarification on the BBC's treatment of Sally Wingate.'
0:27:35 > 0:27:38..and she's come up with this frankly rather brilliant idea.
0:27:38 > 0:27:39I don't know about brilliant,
0:27:39 > 0:27:41but I don't mind saying I'm quite pleased with it.
0:27:41 > 0:27:44- Hold on to your hat.- Woman's Hour. - Woman's Hour?
0:27:44 > 0:27:47- I know.- Right.- It's joyous. - I've got you on tomorrow, with Jenni Murray.- Got me on?
0:27:47 > 0:27:49- Tony actually sent me a smiley face. - Did he?
0:27:49 > 0:27:52Cos when you think about this, it is actually the perfect forum.
0:27:52 > 0:27:54- Wait a minute... - I took a bit of a flier with it.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56- Well, yes! - I know Helen, the producer.
0:27:56 > 0:27:58I know some people find her a bit frightening,
0:27:58 > 0:28:01but I personally don't take any nonsense from her and I can't speak
0:28:01 > 0:28:03for her, obviously, but I think she respects me for that.
0:28:03 > 0:28:05- Brilliant.- What about asking me though?- Asking you?- Yes.
0:28:05 > 0:28:08- No, they don't need to, Ian. I said yes on your behalf.- Right. I see.
0:28:08 > 0:28:10I hope that's all right.
0:28:10 > 0:28:12Yes. No, that's fine. But what am I actually saying?
0:28:12 > 0:28:13Right, yes. Very good.
0:28:13 > 0:28:15I'm not being funny, but this is serious.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17- I know.- We're dealing with what's in front of us.
0:28:17 > 0:28:18This is in front of me.
0:28:18 > 0:28:21We are in emergency mode here. I've got you Jenni Murray.
0:28:21 > 0:28:24You'll have time to think about what you want to say on the train up
0:28:24 > 0:28:26- and I'll be there to help with that. - The train up where?
0:28:26 > 0:28:29All you need to do right now is decide whether you want to go
0:28:29 > 0:28:32up tonight, or catch the early train in the morning.
0:28:32 > 0:28:34- Manchester?- Gah, no, bad luck.
0:28:37 > 0:28:38Ian, welcome to Woman's Hour.
0:28:38 > 0:28:40It's very good to be here, Jenni. Thank you.
0:28:40 > 0:28:43So I'm standing there and I'm getting, like, a text
0:28:43 > 0:28:45and I look down and it's, like, Clare Balding.
0:28:45 > 0:28:47So, that's Dame Clare Balding, OK.
0:28:47 > 0:28:49- But Carol's in this morning. - I know. It's a nightmare.
0:28:49 > 0:28:51- I'm sorry, Siobhan, you can't do this.- De nada.
0:28:51 > 0:28:54No, do you know what? I don't want a bloody coffee, thanks.
0:28:54 > 0:28:55- No, she doesn't want that.- No.
0:28:55 > 0:28:57Enjoy the, you know, enjoy your water.
0:28:57 > 0:28:58I'm not being funny or anything,
0:28:58 > 0:29:01but I think we might have a bit of a situation on our hands here.