Episode 1

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0:00:19 > 0:00:23CHEERING

0:00:29 > 0:00:33Good evening, and welcome to Watson & Oliver. I'm Ingrid Oliver.

0:00:35 > 0:00:36I'm Ingrid Oliver.

0:00:36 > 0:00:39LAUGHTER

0:00:41 > 0:00:42- You done your bit?- Yes.

0:00:46 > 0:00:51- And I'm Lorna Watson. Good evening! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:00:55 > 0:00:57- Lorna.- Yes?- Trousers?

0:00:57 > 0:01:02- I didn't have time.- So you thought you'd just come on in your pants?

0:01:02 > 0:01:07That's the decision I took, yes. I didn't want to miss my cue, did I?

0:01:07 > 0:01:09Well, you did miss your cue, so...

0:01:09 > 0:01:12Yes, but I didn't WANT to miss my cue.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14Well, I can't argue with that kind of logic.

0:01:16 > 0:01:19If it's that big a deal, I can go and get them. I know where they are.

0:01:19 > 0:01:20No, you haven't got time.

0:01:20 > 0:01:26I know, which is why I didn't put them on in the first place!

0:01:27 > 0:01:31- Just like you didn't have time to do up your flies properly. - What? Oh, God!

0:01:31 > 0:01:34APPLAUSE

0:01:34 > 0:01:36Enjoy the show.

0:01:45 > 0:01:48Ta for seeing me. I couldn't turn to no-one else here.

0:01:48 > 0:01:52I thought about going to Margaret at number seven, but she's got her own problems.

0:01:52 > 0:01:54- What do you mean?- Didn't I tell you?

0:01:54 > 0:01:57Her daughter has been seen down The Crown with Joany's lad,

0:01:57 > 0:01:59and not two months since she was stepping out at the dance

0:01:59 > 0:02:03- with Keith Gordon from Beaulieu Street. - You are kidding! Hold on a second.

0:02:09 > 0:02:13Thought that'd shock you. Mind you, she's a wicked old bag is that Margaret Drummond,

0:02:13 > 0:02:15and you're not safe from her fishwife's tongue.

0:02:15 > 0:02:20She's called you common on many an occasion, and no mistake!

0:02:20 > 0:02:23- I'll have her guts for garters! - Pay no heed, Irene.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26You know, you're the only one I can rely on.

0:02:26 > 0:02:30I want to thank you for showing me such sympathy.

0:02:30 > 0:02:33Any time, Brenda. Roger's been ever so unkind.

0:02:33 > 0:02:38Left me without a second thought, and then last night he telephones to say he still loves me.

0:02:38 > 0:02:41Yeah, what do you think of that?

0:02:41 > 0:02:45I know, I can see you're horrified. Still loves me!

0:02:45 > 0:02:47I'm as nonplussed as you.

0:02:48 > 0:02:53What he's up to I don't know. Even says he wants to come back!

0:02:55 > 0:02:58So just perhaps, Irene Leonard, you should be happy for me.

0:03:00 > 0:03:01Maybe you should be sad.

0:03:03 > 0:03:06But hark at me going on at you. That's men!

0:03:06 > 0:03:09What do I expect you to say? You're like me, completely...

0:03:09 > 0:03:10Oh, what would you call it?

0:03:11 > 0:03:17Flummoxed. Yes, that's the only word for it, Irene. Flummoxed.

0:03:21 > 0:03:26Discombobulated, that's what we are. Totally discombobulated.

0:03:29 > 0:03:32How did me old French teacher used to put it?

0:03:32 > 0:03:35"Entre l'arbre et l'ecorce." That's it.

0:03:38 > 0:03:42But come on, Irene. This moping around isn't going to achieve anything.

0:03:42 > 0:03:45Let's stick on an 'appy face and meet the world!

0:03:53 > 0:03:57Hello, I'm Myleene Klass, and I done a Hear'Say.

0:03:59 > 0:04:00Likeable.

0:04:05 > 0:04:08OK, all units standing by. I don't want any false moves,

0:04:08 > 0:04:12and nothing, I repeat, nothing, happens without my direct say-so, got it?

0:04:12 > 0:04:14And, Steve, good work.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18OK, team. Listen up.

0:04:18 > 0:04:22Surveillance have confirmed that Reznikov has left the Pimlico address

0:04:22 > 0:04:24and is en route to the pickup. This is it.

0:04:24 > 0:04:28I want a visual of every single person coming in and out of that hotel.

0:04:28 > 0:04:31- Chris, where are we at with the security overrides?- Almost there.

0:04:31 > 0:04:35Get there faster. We need everything in place before he arrives.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38- Special ops are in position? - ETA - three minutes.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40OK. It's crunch time.

0:04:40 > 0:04:44The success of this mission depends on each and every one of you giving 100%.

0:04:44 > 0:04:47If we work as a team, we win as a team.

0:04:47 > 0:04:51And remember, we've been building up to this for the last 18 months.

0:04:51 > 0:04:55In 20 minutes, it will all be over, so let's make it count.

0:04:55 > 0:04:58- Sarah, I'm just going to...- Jenkins?

0:04:58 > 0:05:02Yeah, is it all right if I just nip off a bit early, actually?

0:05:02 > 0:05:05It's just I'm having a fridge delivered. Well, fridge-freezer.

0:05:05 > 0:05:06Excuse me?

0:05:06 > 0:05:10Well, they've already been once, and I wasn't there...

0:05:10 > 0:05:14- SHE CHUCKLES - ..so I really should be there this time.

0:05:14 > 0:05:19- We need you here, Jenkins!- I know. - You're not seriously going, are you?

0:05:19 > 0:05:23- Is that all right?- No! No, it's not all right!

0:05:24 > 0:05:25Mmmm.

0:05:29 > 0:05:32The thing is, I did only have half an hour for lunch.

0:05:33 > 0:05:35It's supposed to be an hour, so...

0:05:37 > 0:05:43Erm, good luck, everybody. Fingers crossed. All right?

0:05:43 > 0:05:45- Sarah...- Give me a minute.

0:05:45 > 0:05:49- What are we going to do without Jenkins?- I said give me a minute!

0:05:52 > 0:05:54Jenkins, thank God!

0:05:54 > 0:05:56Sorry, forgot my scarf!

0:05:58 > 0:06:00Bye-bye! Bye, then!

0:06:06 > 0:06:1297, 98, 99, 100.

0:06:14 > 0:06:17Did you have a good day today, Wills?

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Erm, yeah, yeah, it was a pretty good day, actually.

0:06:19 > 0:06:23Cleaned out the chopper in the morning, erm,

0:06:23 > 0:06:28- then I saved someone's life. - Oh, well done you!- Yeah, he was ever so grateful.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31Then in the afternoon, I had high tea with the Obamas.

0:06:31 > 0:06:34- Oh, I forgot they were in town. - Yeah, yeah.

0:06:34 > 0:06:36They were on really good form, actually.

0:06:36 > 0:06:38- Did you send them my love? - Yeah, yeah.

0:06:38 > 0:06:42- They were really sorry to miss you. Michelle was, like, totally gutted. - Oh, sweet.

0:06:42 > 0:06:44So what did you get up to?

0:06:44 > 0:06:47Well, this morning I opened a couple of hospitals,

0:06:47 > 0:06:51and then I wore a new dress which people seemed to like quite a lot,

0:06:51 > 0:06:54because they kept taking photographs of it.

0:06:54 > 0:06:56In the afternoon I was guest of honour at a charity gala

0:06:56 > 0:06:59for promoting child health issues in Africa.

0:06:59 > 0:07:01- Oh, those guys are great!- Yeah.

0:07:01 > 0:07:04So a good day all round, then?

0:07:04 > 0:07:06- Yeah, really good day.- Great.

0:07:06 > 0:07:09- Right, then, time for bed, I think. - Yeah.

0:07:09 > 0:07:10- Night, Wills.- Night, Kate.

0:07:16 > 0:07:20- Kate?- Yes, Wills?

0:07:20 > 0:07:22It wasn't as good a day as our wedding day.

0:07:24 > 0:07:28- BOTH: Our wedding day! - That was such a great day! - It was such a good day!

0:07:28 > 0:07:32I was so nervous, remember? I was trying not to show it,

0:07:32 > 0:07:37- because there were two billion people watching. Seriously, two billion! - What's that all about?

0:07:37 > 0:07:40I was trying to keep things light-hearted, remember?

0:07:40 > 0:07:44I was like to your dad, "Hey, don't worry about it. Just a small family gathering!"

0:07:44 > 0:07:49Not! Remember when I tried to get into the car outside the hotel, and there was this screen up,

0:07:49 > 0:07:52but you could still see me, but you couldn't totally see me,

0:07:52 > 0:07:56and I was, like, "Oh, no, guys, stop looking at my dress! You'll ruin the surprise!"

0:07:56 > 0:08:01Then Beatrice and Eugey arrived, and everyone wondered why Beatrice was wearing a pretzel on her head.

0:08:01 > 0:08:04You couldn't get the ring on my finger. I was like,

0:08:04 > 0:08:07"Everyone's going to think I've got really fat fingers now,

0:08:07 > 0:08:11- "even though I literally haven't eaten for three weeks!" - Yeah. Sausage finger alert!

0:08:11 > 0:08:15Remember when your sister bent over to pick up your train, and everyone was like,

0:08:15 > 0:08:17"Whoa, look at the arse on that!"

0:08:23 > 0:08:26Because I don't. That is definitely not what I remember at all.

0:08:26 > 0:08:29Have you changed your hair?

0:08:29 > 0:08:31- Good night, William.- Night, Kate.

0:08:36 > 0:08:41Three full English, darling! One no mushroom, darling, one no sausage, darling. Yes, my darling?

0:08:41 > 0:08:43- Service, darling!- Service, darling!

0:08:43 > 0:08:47- Bacon sandwich, please, darling. - Coming, darling!- Bacon sandwich?

0:08:47 > 0:08:51We got white bread, darling, we got floury bap, we got toasted panini, we got baguette, darling.

0:08:51 > 0:08:57- White sliced, darling.- Ketchup, brown sauce, darling?- Ketchup.- Bacon sandwich with ketchup and white!

0:08:57 > 0:09:00- And a cup of tea, darling.- Service! - Service, darling! One cup of tea, my darling?

0:09:00 > 0:09:04- Coming, darling!- That's £2.45, please, darling.- £2.45?

0:09:04 > 0:09:07- Yes, £2.45, please, my darling. - 2.45, darling.

0:09:07 > 0:09:11- That's £2.45, thank you, my darling, and one cup of tea, darling. - Service, darling!- Service!

0:09:11 > 0:09:15- Thanks, my darling.- Thanks. - Coming, darling.- Yes, my darling?

0:09:15 > 0:09:18- Three egg rolls, darling.- Three egg rolls?- That's right, darling.

0:09:18 > 0:09:21- Service, darling. - That's £2.80, please, my darling.

0:09:21 > 0:09:25- Coming, darling.- Egg rolls, darling. - There you go, darling. - That's £3, darling.

0:09:25 > 0:09:28- Keep the change, darling.- Service, darling!- Thanks, darling.

0:09:28 > 0:09:33- Coming, darling.- Thank you, darling. - Who's next? Yes, darling.- Service, darling!- Service, darling!

0:09:33 > 0:09:35- Darling?- Yes, darling? - Any mustard, darling?

0:09:35 > 0:09:40- Sorry, my darling. Kath, my darling? - Coming, darling.- Mustard, darling. - Yes, my darling.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42- Service, darling!- Yes, my darling?

0:09:42 > 0:09:47Full English, love, extra beans, love, and a cup of coffee, love.

0:09:50 > 0:09:52Trish!

0:09:55 > 0:09:58Yes, my love? Morning, my love! What can I get you, my love?

0:10:02 > 0:10:07Hello, I'm Myleene Klass, and I done a classical.

0:10:07 > 0:10:11SKILFUL PIANO MUSIC

0:10:12 > 0:10:14Approachable.

0:10:24 > 0:10:25(Oh, God.)

0:10:25 > 0:10:28Mr Bridgewater, Sir Thomas.

0:10:28 > 0:10:30Miss Deeps, Miss Rutherford.

0:10:30 > 0:10:32You are returned from London, I see.

0:10:32 > 0:10:36- Indeed. Our business there did not detain us long.- Indeed?- Indeed.

0:10:36 > 0:10:39- Indeed?- Indeed.

0:10:39 > 0:10:43And what brings you to Whitborough on this fine summer's morn?

0:10:43 > 0:10:47We are off to purchase pincushions from Mrs Pinkerton-Pye of Pippering Place!

0:10:47 > 0:10:50- You see, I mislaid my pincushion, didn't I, Catherine?- Yes!

0:10:50 > 0:10:54- She's for ever mislaying her pincushions, aren't you, Lucy?- Yes!

0:10:54 > 0:10:57I could not retain ownership of a pincushion if my life were dependent on it!

0:10:59 > 0:11:03GIRLS GIGGLE

0:11:06 > 0:11:08THEY CONTINUE GIGGLING

0:11:10 > 0:11:14I trust you'll be attending Brigadier Burnham's biennial ball at Banbury?

0:11:14 > 0:11:17- But of course.- I too shall be attending, Sir Thomas.

0:11:17 > 0:11:21- Good.- Our dance cards are as yet untroubled by a single name, Mr Bridgewater.

0:11:21 > 0:11:24We've been saving our slots, you see.

0:11:26 > 0:11:28For two very special gentlemen.

0:11:28 > 0:11:32Yes, we eagerly await the filling of our slots by two very special gentlemen.

0:11:32 > 0:11:36Splendid. Well, sadly, we must take our leave of you.

0:11:36 > 0:11:39- So soon?- We must away to London. - Again? You have just come from thence.

0:11:39 > 0:11:43- Yes, well, we must away again immediately. Good day to you both. - BOTH: Good day!

0:11:43 > 0:11:44Goodbye!

0:11:47 > 0:11:49Oh, my God. They want it.

0:11:49 > 0:11:52They want it, all right. They want it big time!

0:11:52 > 0:11:55And I tell you what - we're going to give it to them.

0:12:01 > 0:12:04Hey! I'm Candy.

0:12:04 > 0:12:06And I'm April.

0:12:06 > 0:12:11BOTH: And we're Hugh Hefner's new girlfriends! Yay!

0:12:16 > 0:12:17SHE GIGGLES

0:12:17 > 0:12:20So this is my bedroom, and as you can see,

0:12:20 > 0:12:23I really played around with the colours in here.

0:12:23 > 0:12:27So, we have light pinks, baby pinks, pastel pinks...

0:12:27 > 0:12:29I'm cartwheeling!

0:12:32 > 0:12:37..candy floss pinks, Barbie pinks, and, you know, pink pinks!

0:12:39 > 0:12:42This is me when I did the July centrefold.

0:12:43 > 0:12:45I'm the Statue of Liber-titty!

0:12:48 > 0:12:51That's so cute, right?

0:12:51 > 0:12:53- I know, right?- Right!

0:12:57 > 0:13:00So this is my favourite picture of Hef.

0:13:01 > 0:13:02He's so adorable!

0:13:05 > 0:13:08Look at me, upside down in my tiny shorts!

0:13:08 > 0:13:13And even though he's, like, 102, he's still, like, really, really sexy.

0:13:13 > 0:13:18Look at my boobs! They're upside down and on my face!

0:13:18 > 0:13:21He's so hot that just looking at him really turns me on.

0:13:23 > 0:13:26Yeah, he's so hot!

0:13:29 > 0:13:33- We're both very much in love with him, right?- Right.

0:13:33 > 0:13:35KNOCK AT DOOR

0:13:35 > 0:13:39< Where's my two favourite bunny-wunnies?

0:13:39 > 0:13:43< It's a quarter to five, time for sleepy cuddles!

0:13:43 > 0:13:45BOTH RETCH

0:13:45 > 0:13:48< Hugh needs his sleepy cuddles.

0:13:48 > 0:13:51BOTH RETCH

0:13:51 > 0:13:53< Who's going to be the lucky girl tonight?

0:13:53 > 0:13:56BOTH RETCH

0:13:57 > 0:14:00I guess it's your turn, so...

0:14:00 > 0:14:04No, because I did it last night, so it's your turn, right?

0:14:04 > 0:14:07Right, but I think I'm coming down with something, so...

0:14:07 > 0:14:10Right. I have toothache, so...

0:14:10 > 0:14:13- Right. I have a fever. - I have mouth ulcers.

0:14:13 > 0:14:15- My glands are swollen. - My gums are receding.

0:14:15 > 0:14:18- I have conjunctivitis! - I have gingivitis!

0:14:18 > 0:14:22- I have bronchitis! - I'm unconscious!

0:14:22 > 0:14:24What? No, you're not!

0:14:35 > 0:14:36Damn it!

0:14:36 > 0:14:39< Come on, honey. Time for beddy-byes!

0:14:39 > 0:14:42Coming, puffin!

0:14:42 > 0:14:44< Don't forget my special pump!

0:14:44 > 0:14:47SHE RETCHES

0:14:50 > 0:14:55Ladies and gentlemen, we've got a bit of a treat for you this evening. I'm very excited.

0:14:55 > 0:15:00So without further ado, please give a very warm welcome to a very special guest - Mr John Barrowman!

0:15:00 > 0:15:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:15:05 > 0:15:08Hello! Hi!

0:15:10 > 0:15:14Good evening. Hello, I'm John Barrowman, and thank you, thank you.

0:15:14 > 0:15:19- It's so great to have you here, John. - Thanks, it's really, really great to be here.- Yeah.

0:15:25 > 0:15:29- OK.- OK. So, I've chosen the duet

0:15:29 > 0:15:33- we're going to be singing at the end of the show.- Hold on, we're doing a duet?

0:15:33 > 0:15:37Because I thought I was doing a solo from my new hit musical called John Barrowman,

0:15:37 > 0:15:41starring me, John Barrowman, written by me, John Barrowman,

0:15:41 > 0:15:43with original songs by me, John Barrowman.

0:15:46 > 0:15:49No. You see, I really want to get into musicals,

0:15:49 > 0:15:53so you're here to help me showcase my vocal talents.

0:15:53 > 0:15:55Oh. Oh, I didn't know you could sing.

0:15:55 > 0:15:58- Oh! Oh, I can sing.- Really?

0:15:58 > 0:16:00Yeah. I sing all the notes.

0:16:00 > 0:16:04C, B, E flat, W.

0:16:04 > 0:16:07- Wow, that's quite a range! - Thank you.

0:16:07 > 0:16:11So, anyway, I've written a song especially for this evening.

0:16:11 > 0:16:13I've highlighted your bits here.

0:16:13 > 0:16:17- Also, is Lorna going to be involved in the finale?- Oh, no. No, no.

0:16:17 > 0:16:20No, Lorna won't be. It'll just be the two of us.

0:16:20 > 0:16:22- OK.- Yeah, it's not really her thing, to be honest.

0:16:22 > 0:16:26OK, because I wouldn't want to do anything to upset anybody,

0:16:26 > 0:16:29because John Barrowman doesn't upset people.

0:16:29 > 0:16:32John Barrowman is a good man. John Barrowman is kind and sensitive.

0:16:32 > 0:16:35John Barrowman makes people's dreams come true!

0:16:40 > 0:16:43You don't need to worry about her, John. She hates musicals.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46Yeah. She really doesn't want to be in a musical whatsoever.

0:16:46 > 0:16:49- At all.- All right, OK.- OK? So...

0:16:52 > 0:16:56I didn't get it! Unbelievable. Too old, apparently.

0:16:58 > 0:17:00God, I love musicals!

0:17:01 > 0:17:04Oh, my God! It's John Barrowman!

0:17:04 > 0:17:08- Hey.- What's John Barrowman doing here? I love John Barrowman.

0:17:08 > 0:17:13He's so kind and sensitive. He makes people's dreams come true.

0:17:13 > 0:17:16Yeah, well, Ingrid invited me to...

0:17:19 > 0:17:25- OK.- I called John Barrowman because I'm going to sing a song with him at the end of the show.

0:17:25 > 0:17:26OK? Good.

0:17:26 > 0:17:32You know, I really wouldn't want to get in-between anything here, if you know what I mean, OK?

0:17:32 > 0:17:35- Oh, you're not in the middle of anything, John.- OK.

0:17:43 > 0:17:47So, anyway, I thought maybe if we just play around

0:17:47 > 0:17:50with the harmonies a little bit, and then...

0:17:50 > 0:17:55- Can I do a duet with you, please? - You know, I'd love to, but... - John, focus, please!

0:17:55 > 0:17:58- We need to rehearse right now. Come on.- OK.

0:17:58 > 0:18:01- I'm so sorry.- John! - I'll see you later.

0:18:11 > 0:18:14Maybe one day I'll be in a musical.

0:18:15 > 0:18:17Maybe one day I'll get the chance to sing.

0:18:19 > 0:18:22- # I... - Psst!

0:18:22 > 0:18:25- John, what are you doing? - Oh, it's no problem.

0:18:25 > 0:18:27Listen, I think I left my wallet.

0:18:27 > 0:18:30Psst, Lorna! Quick, huddle up!

0:18:31 > 0:18:36OK. I think I've found a way to work you into the finale.

0:18:38 > 0:18:40Great! Thanks, John!

0:18:40 > 0:18:41You're welcome.

0:18:47 > 0:18:48- OK.- Here's your wallet.

0:18:48 > 0:18:50Thank you very much.

0:18:56 > 0:18:58- Lorna.- Yes?

0:18:58 > 0:19:00There was £20 in this wallet.

0:19:04 > 0:19:08- I was going to buy tap shoes with that.- Sorry.

0:19:11 > 0:19:12Selfish.

0:19:16 > 0:19:18Tidy that cell, Matthews.

0:19:21 > 0:19:22Grow up, Jeffries!

0:19:26 > 0:19:27Oh, no.

0:19:27 > 0:19:31- Oh, no!- Off we go!

0:19:31 > 0:19:33- Here she comes!- There she is!

0:19:33 > 0:19:35- Here I am!- There's trouble!

0:19:35 > 0:19:38- Don't you start!- Someone's off! - There she is!

0:19:38 > 0:19:41Morning, mischief. You had your breakfast, then?

0:19:41 > 0:19:45- I've had my breakfast. You had yours?- Cheeky!- I bet you have! - That's not what I heard.- Oh, yeah?

0:19:45 > 0:19:48- What you had, then? - Porridge.- Porridge, is it?

0:19:50 > 0:19:52No, thanks, I've already eaten!

0:19:54 > 0:19:55Oh, dear!

0:19:55 > 0:19:58S, what you up to today, then? Doing anything nice?

0:19:58 > 0:20:01- Don't mind if I do! - Oh, yeah? Got plans, have you?

0:20:02 > 0:20:04I'm going on holiday, ain't I?

0:20:04 > 0:20:06Going on holiday, are you? Go on, where you off to?

0:20:06 > 0:20:11- Tuscany.- Going to Tuscany, are you? - I'm going to Tuscany, are you going to Tuscany?

0:20:11 > 0:20:15- As the actress said to the bishop. - Oh, bishop, is it? What bishop's that, then?

0:20:15 > 0:20:17Wouldn't you like to know!

0:20:17 > 0:20:19BOTH CHUCKLE

0:20:20 > 0:20:24No, seriously, pet. What are you doing today?

0:20:24 > 0:20:26Oh, I thought I'd just sit in my cell.

0:20:28 > 0:20:29Yeah.

0:20:29 > 0:20:30Yeah.

0:20:32 > 0:20:35Well, I could pop by later if you fancy some company.

0:20:35 > 0:20:38I can't, I've got slops duty.

0:20:38 > 0:20:41Oh, yeah, of course, slops. I forgot it was Monday.

0:20:43 > 0:20:48- Well, I've got cell inspections and that, anyway, so...- Yeah, yeah.

0:20:48 > 0:20:52- All right, well, I'll see you later, pet.- See you later. Don't do anything I wouldn't do!

0:20:52 > 0:20:55- Oh, no.- Oh, no!- She's off again!

0:20:55 > 0:20:58- Here we go!- There she is! - Here it comes!

0:20:58 > 0:21:01- I'll see you later, trouble. - Not if I see you first!

0:21:01 > 0:21:04Oh, dear. What is she like?

0:21:16 > 0:21:19Good evening, and welcome to Question Hour.

0:21:19 > 0:21:21Tonight, we come from the historic town of Hastings,

0:21:21 > 0:21:25and with me on the panel, ready to answer the questions you want answering,

0:21:25 > 0:21:30Shadow Chancellor Sarah Lane, Peter Damon, columnist for the Guardian,

0:21:30 > 0:21:34and Junior Minister for Health, Justin Tooth.

0:21:34 > 0:21:36Unfortunately, because of transport strikes,

0:21:36 > 0:21:39not all our audience could be here tonight,

0:21:39 > 0:21:41but I'm sure we'll have an excellent debate regardless.

0:21:41 > 0:21:46And our first question comes from Karen Wainwright.

0:21:49 > 0:21:53Oh, hello! Erm...yes...

0:21:53 > 0:21:56Why doesn't the moon marry the sun?

0:21:59 > 0:22:01Why doesn't the moon marry the sun?

0:22:01 > 0:22:05Interesting question, but are you sure you don't want to ask something more topical,

0:22:05 > 0:22:07like about today's strike, for instance?

0:22:07 > 0:22:11No, I'd like to stick with my original question, please.

0:22:13 > 0:22:17Why doesn't the moon marry the sun? Would anyone like to...?

0:22:17 > 0:22:19No, no-one wants to answer that question.

0:22:19 > 0:22:22OK, we'll move on to the next question,

0:22:22 > 0:22:24which comes from Miss Karen Wainwright.

0:22:24 > 0:22:27Yes. What are these?

0:22:29 > 0:22:32Peter Damon, we'll start with you.

0:22:32 > 0:22:34Why doesn't the moon marry the sun?

0:22:34 > 0:22:37No, we're not on that question now.

0:22:37 > 0:22:40Trust me, they're not going to answer the other one.

0:22:40 > 0:22:42Have we had any more arrivals yet? No?

0:22:42 > 0:22:45- OK. On to the next question, which is from...- Yes.

0:22:45 > 0:22:49Who would win in a fight between a silverback gorilla and some cheese?

0:22:49 > 0:22:55Sarah Lane, today's transport strikes will cause more harm than good to those taking part.

0:22:55 > 0:23:00- Do you agree?- Yes, I quite agree. You see, ordinary... - Sorry, we're not on that one now.

0:23:00 > 0:23:03- I'm allowed to rephrase a little. - But that wasn't even close.

0:23:03 > 0:23:05But no matter, I've got lots more questions.

0:23:05 > 0:23:07- Oh, have you(?)- Yes.

0:23:07 > 0:23:10Why don't we actually bake Alaska?

0:23:10 > 0:23:15Unless you got a question that's something we can actually answer, I'll have to ask you to leave.

0:23:15 > 0:23:18Very well. Then I have a question for this lady here.

0:23:18 > 0:23:21How exactly do you become a sound person?

0:23:21 > 0:23:25Next week's programme will be coming from Rhyl,

0:23:25 > 0:23:29where we WILL have an audience, or I will be booking myself into a spa.

0:23:29 > 0:23:33What's the time, Mr Wolf? What's the square root of Tuesday?

0:23:33 > 0:23:36Where did you get that hat? Where did you get that hat?

0:23:39 > 0:23:43Hello, I'm Myleene Klass, and I done a jungle.

0:23:44 > 0:23:47And then I done a presenting!

0:23:48 > 0:23:50And then I done a modelling!

0:23:53 > 0:23:55I've pretty much done it all, really!

0:23:58 > 0:24:00Girl-next-door.

0:24:24 > 0:24:30# I've never seen a face

0:24:30 > 0:24:37# As perfect as the one I'm seeing now

0:24:37 > 0:24:40# Her cheekbones so defined

0:24:40 > 0:24:43# Her skin tone so sublime

0:24:43 > 0:24:45# She's like a swan

0:24:45 > 0:24:50# Or a very successful international supermodel

0:24:52 > 0:24:54# Her beauty makes me tingle

0:24:54 > 0:24:56# I can't believe she's still single... #

0:24:56 > 0:24:58Neither can I.

0:24:58 > 0:25:01# She's the one

0:25:01 > 0:25:04- # I'm the one - She's the only one

0:25:04 > 0:25:09# I'm the only one We'll get a cottage in the country

0:25:09 > 0:25:11# Torchwood makes a lot of money

0:25:11 > 0:25:14# I'm the one

0:25:14 > 0:25:18# Oooh

0:25:18 > 0:25:23# But wait a minute Who is that stage left?

0:25:23 > 0:25:25- # It's me - Hello

0:25:25 > 0:25:28# Beauty beyond compare

0:25:28 > 0:25:32# I prefer them with blonde hair

0:25:32 > 0:25:35# Watch how I walk and sing at the same time

0:25:35 > 0:25:37# Amazing.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39- # Thank you... # - What are you doing?

0:25:39 > 0:25:41# Now I'll sit down on a chair

0:25:41 > 0:25:45# Then get up and walk to there

0:25:45 > 0:25:46# You're the one

0:25:46 > 0:25:48# I'm the one

0:25:48 > 0:25:50# You're the only one

0:25:50 > 0:25:52# I'm the only one

0:25:52 > 0:25:55- # You are ruining my song... # - No, I'm not!

0:25:55 > 0:25:58# Can't you both just get along?

0:25:58 > 0:25:59# I'm the one

0:25:59 > 0:26:01# No, I'm the one

0:26:01 > 0:26:03# You're the only one

0:26:03 > 0:26:04- # Who is? - Which one?

0:26:04 > 0:26:08# There will never be another

0:26:08 > 0:26:11# Do you have an older brother?

0:26:11 > 0:26:13# Not the one

0:26:13 > 0:26:15Take it to the bridge, everybody!

0:26:15 > 0:26:18# The thing is, girls, you need to know

0:26:18 > 0:26:21# I'm only here to promote my show

0:26:21 > 0:26:24# Neither of you's quite right for me

0:26:24 > 0:26:33# I don't do heterosexuality

0:26:33 > 0:26:34Key change!

0:26:34 > 0:26:37# I'm the one

0:26:37 > 0:26:40# I'm John Barrowman

0:26:40 > 0:26:43# I can act and I can sing

0:26:43 > 0:26:46# I'm pretty great at everything

0:26:46 > 0:26:48# Oh, I'm the one

0:26:48 > 0:26:50# He's off on one

0:26:50 > 0:26:53# I'm John Barrowman

0:26:53 > 0:26:56# I'm a Yankee Doodle Dandy

0:26:56 > 0:27:00# I'm more popular than Gandhi

0:27:00 > 0:27:03# I'm the one

0:27:03 > 0:27:11# Television's John Barrowman...! #

0:27:11 > 0:27:15CHEERING

0:27:20 > 0:27:23APPLAUSE

0:27:25 > 0:27:26Thank you very much!

0:27:29 > 0:27:34Thank you, everybody. I am John Barrowman. Good night!

0:27:38 > 0:27:39Wooo!

0:27:39 > 0:27:41CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:27:46 > 0:27:49God, someone likes the sound of their own voice!

0:27:53 > 0:27:56Oh, give it to me!

0:27:56 > 0:27:58I had a Jedi take him on holiday.

0:27:58 > 0:28:01Oh, dear. Cracks me up!

0:28:01 > 0:28:03Jenkins, where are you going?

0:28:06 > 0:28:09I should warn you, I won't have no unlawful conjugals under my roof.

0:28:24 > 0:28:27Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd