Episode 3

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0:00:19 > 0:00:22APPLAUSE

0:00:25 > 0:00:26- Hello!- Good evening!

0:00:29 > 0:00:33Good evening and welcome to Watson & Oliver. I'm Ingrid Oliver.

0:00:33 > 0:00:37I'm Lorna Watson and er, can I just say it's really great you can join us,

0:00:37 > 0:00:40- because today's actually a very special day for us. - Is it?

0:00:40 > 0:00:42Yeah.

0:00:42 > 0:00:46It's 20 years to the day that we first met.

0:00:46 > 0:00:48That's today, is it?

0:00:48 > 0:00:49You!

0:00:49 > 0:00:54Anyway, it's not a big deal, but I got you a little card.

0:00:54 > 0:00:56Oh gosh, thank you.

0:00:56 > 0:00:57Mr postman, can you just...?

0:01:01 > 0:01:02It's just something little.

0:01:02 > 0:01:06It's just a little, enormous bunch of flowers.

0:01:10 > 0:01:13- You think I've forgotten our anniversary, don't you?- Yes.

0:01:13 > 0:01:16Well, I haven't, cos I know how much it means to you.

0:01:16 > 0:01:19Which is why I got you...

0:01:20 > 0:01:25..eleven pence in change and an old travel card.

0:01:25 > 0:01:27LAUGHTER

0:01:30 > 0:01:32You did remember.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35Thank you.

0:01:35 > 0:01:38- OK!- How did you know I like old travel cards?

0:01:38 > 0:01:41- Enjoy the show.- This one!

0:01:41 > 0:01:43APPLAUSE

0:01:45 > 0:01:46Morning.

0:01:46 > 0:01:49BOTH: Hiya!

0:01:51 > 0:01:52There you go.

0:01:52 > 0:01:55- If you could put your card in, please.- What's this?

0:01:55 > 0:01:58- Package for Simmons.- Who?- Simmons.

0:01:58 > 0:02:01I think you've got the wrong address.

0:02:01 > 0:02:03Er, 8-12 Langley Street.

0:02:03 > 0:02:06Yes, but as I said, we don't have a Simmons here.

0:02:06 > 0:02:10Do you want to double check just in case? This is the right address, so...

0:02:10 > 0:02:13Do you want to get a qualification in admin like I've got

0:02:13 > 0:02:17before you start giving me advice on how to do my job?

0:02:17 > 0:02:20I'm not taking it back, this is the right address. It's not my problem.

0:02:20 > 0:02:23Do you mind keeping your voice down, please?

0:02:23 > 0:02:24I didn't say anything!

0:02:24 > 0:02:27- Morning.- Hiya!- Hiya!

0:02:27 > 0:02:30- Oh great, is that for Mr Simmons? - Yes!- I'll take it up.

0:02:30 > 0:02:34The girls will sign for it, thank you.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36You need to put in your code.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38Yes, thank you very much.

0:02:38 > 0:02:42We are receptionists, in case you hadn't noticed.

0:02:55 > 0:02:57Thank you.

0:02:58 > 0:03:02- It says invalid code.- Are you saying I don't know how to enter a pin code?

0:03:02 > 0:03:05- No, I'm saying if your nails weren't so long, then... - THEY GASP

0:03:05 > 0:03:08What are you saying about her nails?

0:03:08 > 0:03:10Have you got a problem with my nails?

0:03:10 > 0:03:13Is there something you want to say to me about MY nails?

0:03:13 > 0:03:17If you've got a problem with my nails, you should keep it to yourself, thank you very much.

0:03:17 > 0:03:20How dare you come in here and tell me what to do as a human being.

0:03:20 > 0:03:24These are professionally manicured nails, in case you hadn't noticed.

0:03:24 > 0:03:28Do you even know how much a professional manicure costs these days?

0:03:28 > 0:03:31- No.- £22.50, and that's not including the cost of a nail bath

0:03:31 > 0:03:34and that's not including the cost of cuticle cream.

0:03:34 > 0:03:36Don't even get me started on pedicures

0:03:36 > 0:03:39because that is a whole different ball game entirely.

0:03:39 > 0:03:43- All right? Delivery for Harris. - Yeah, good luck with that.

0:03:45 > 0:03:48Oh, don't tell me, Flamingo Fancy,

0:03:48 > 0:03:53- and Mint Surprise.- Oh, yes it is.

0:03:53 > 0:03:55My wife wears the same colours.

0:03:55 > 0:03:59You're a man who knows his nails. I like him.

0:03:59 > 0:04:01Where do we sign, love?

0:04:12 > 0:04:16Do you not find, Sir Thomas, after a stay in London,

0:04:16 > 0:04:18it is always such a relief

0:04:18 > 0:04:21to return to the peace and quiet of the country?

0:04:21 > 0:04:24Indeed, it is most tranquil.

0:04:24 > 0:04:26BOTH: Cooee!

0:04:27 > 0:04:29Oh, God.

0:04:35 > 0:04:36Mr Bridgewater, Sir Thomas.

0:04:36 > 0:04:38What a surprise.

0:04:38 > 0:04:40Miss Rutherford. Miss Steeps.

0:04:40 > 0:04:45- What a fortuitous, serendipitous and completely unexpected occurrence.- Indeed.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47- Indeed.- Indeed.- Indeed.

0:04:47 > 0:04:50- Indeed.- Indeed.- Indeed.- Indeed.

0:04:50 > 0:04:52- Indeed.- Indeed.- Indeed.

0:04:52 > 0:04:55In-bloody deed. God.

0:04:55 > 0:04:59- Will you not join us for luncheonstance? - A little morn repast?

0:04:59 > 0:05:01No, really, we couldn't.

0:05:01 > 0:05:05- Oh, Mr Bridgewater, surely you would not have us beg?- Yes, Sir Thomas.

0:05:05 > 0:05:08- You would not wish to see me on my knees.- No.

0:05:08 > 0:05:09Well, then you must join us.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12No, really. We could not impose.

0:05:12 > 0:05:16Mr Bridgewater, you are in danger of hurting a lady's feelings.

0:05:16 > 0:05:21Yes, Sir Thomas, if you do not join us, I will cry and cry and cry and never desist.

0:05:21 > 0:05:22No, we really can't.

0:05:22 > 0:05:25- Waaah!- Waaah!- Waaah!- Waaah!

0:05:25 > 0:05:29- Waaah!- Waaah!- Waaah!- Waaah!- Waaah!

0:05:29 > 0:05:32Very well, then.

0:05:32 > 0:05:33Splendid!

0:05:33 > 0:05:36Mr Bridgewater, you shall sit here!

0:05:36 > 0:05:38Sir Thomas, you shall sit there.

0:05:38 > 0:05:43Now, might you be persuaded to a mouthful of my juicy apple dumplings?

0:05:43 > 0:05:45No, thank you.

0:05:45 > 0:05:49- Sir Thomas, can I tempt you to a handful of my sweet macaroons?- No.

0:05:49 > 0:05:53Surely you will not say no to a nibble on my almond puffs?

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Roly polys, Sir Thomas?

0:05:56 > 0:05:57Fruit jellies?

0:06:01 > 0:06:03Peachy fritters?

0:06:03 > 0:06:05Rock biscuits?

0:06:05 > 0:06:06Syllabubs?

0:06:06 > 0:06:08French pancakes?

0:06:08 > 0:06:09Fried eggs?

0:06:09 > 0:06:11Jugs?

0:06:12 > 0:06:14Melons?

0:06:14 > 0:06:16Tits on a plate?

0:06:16 > 0:06:18I beg your pardon!?

0:06:22 > 0:06:25I have just remembered me. We must away to London.

0:06:25 > 0:06:26Really?

0:06:26 > 0:06:30- Yes, we have urgent business there. - But...- Good day to you.

0:06:30 > 0:06:32- Good day.- Good day.- Good day.

0:06:34 > 0:06:37Somebody hold 'em back.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39I can't. They want it too much.

0:06:48 > 0:06:52All right? I'm Damien Hirst and I done a shark in a tank.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54Two million quid. Cushty!

0:06:57 > 0:06:59Regarde, regarde. Maintenant, ici, ici.

0:06:59 > 0:07:03- Ici, maintenant.- Regardez. Allez, allez!- Maintenant.

0:07:03 > 0:07:06Alors! Alors!

0:07:13 > 0:07:15IN FRENCH:

0:08:12 > 0:08:16- So, how was it?- Yeah, it were all right, but he doesn't speak

0:08:16 > 0:08:20a word of English and the only thing I can say in French

0:08:20 > 0:08:23is "how much is the rabbit?" I don't think I'm saying that right.

0:08:28 > 0:08:31Undercover Millionaire Carla Fredricks has come to the end

0:08:31 > 0:08:35of her week-long journey on a council estate in Southam.

0:08:35 > 0:08:38She pays one final visit to the outreach centre,

0:08:38 > 0:08:42where she's been working with London's homeless and dispossessed.

0:08:42 > 0:08:44Oh, thank you.

0:08:44 > 0:08:47Well, I just wanted to say goodbye, Brian, and to say how much

0:08:47 > 0:08:50I've enjoyed spending time with you this last week.

0:08:50 > 0:08:52We've enjoyed having you, Carla.

0:08:52 > 0:08:55I think the work you do here is incredible.

0:08:55 > 0:08:59Well, you know, you just, you do what you can.

0:08:59 > 0:09:01You're an inspiration, Brian.

0:09:01 > 0:09:04Not just to them, but to me as well.

0:09:04 > 0:09:08Oh, come on, you'll start me off soon.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11There's also something else I wanted to say to you.

0:09:11 > 0:09:14Um, I've not been totally straight with you, I'm afraid.

0:09:14 > 0:09:16Oh, right?

0:09:16 > 0:09:20My name is Carla, but I don't live in Hackney,

0:09:20 > 0:09:21I live in Chelsea.

0:09:21 > 0:09:25- Right?- Brian, I'm actually a very successful businesswoman.

0:09:25 > 0:09:28I run a telecommunications company

0:09:28 > 0:09:32that I floated on the market last year for several million pounds.

0:09:32 > 0:09:34Oh my God!

0:09:35 > 0:09:39And apart from the townhouse in Chelsea,

0:09:39 > 0:09:42I've got an estate in Oxfordshire, a villa in Umbria...

0:09:42 > 0:09:46- A villa?- ..and an apartment in New York.- I can't believe it!

0:09:46 > 0:09:51- I also have three cars...- Three! - ..six horses...- Six!- ..two yachts...

0:09:51 > 0:09:55- Right.- ..and a private jet. - I had no idea, I just...

0:09:55 > 0:09:57- I stay in luxury five-star hotels wherever I go.- Aha...

0:09:57 > 0:10:01- So, like I say, I'm doing pretty well for myself.- Right.

0:10:01 > 0:10:05I'm quite literally, a multi multi-millionaire.

0:10:06 > 0:10:08So, Brian...

0:10:17 > 0:10:18..that's all I wanted to say, really.

0:10:18 > 0:10:22I just really love telling people I'm a millionaire!

0:10:22 > 0:10:25I'm a blooming millionaire!

0:10:25 > 0:10:28All right then, well take care, everyone.

0:10:28 > 0:10:33Keep up the good work, yeah? All right, lots of love, thank you. Bye!

0:10:38 > 0:10:40That's nice.

0:10:41 > 0:10:42Oh, this is nice.

0:10:45 > 0:10:47I like this.

0:10:47 > 0:10:50That's nice.

0:10:50 > 0:10:51This is nice.

0:10:54 > 0:10:57I really like this.

0:10:59 > 0:11:00This one's nice.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05This is nice, isn't it?

0:11:05 > 0:11:09Yeah, it's really nice.

0:11:09 > 0:11:13I really like it.

0:11:13 > 0:11:14It would look really good on you.

0:11:14 > 0:11:16Do you think?

0:11:18 > 0:11:20Yeah, it's really nice.

0:11:20 > 0:11:24Do you think I should try it on?

0:11:24 > 0:11:27I think you should try it on. It's really nice.

0:11:29 > 0:11:31I think I should try it on.

0:11:34 > 0:11:36Do you like it?

0:11:36 > 0:11:40Yeah, it looks really good on you.

0:11:40 > 0:11:41Yeah.

0:11:41 > 0:11:45It's really nice, isn't it?

0:11:45 > 0:11:49Yeah, it's really nice.

0:11:50 > 0:11:53It would look good with my jeans.

0:11:54 > 0:11:56I think it's really nice.

0:11:57 > 0:11:59I think you should get it.

0:11:59 > 0:12:02Really?

0:12:02 > 0:12:04Do you think I should just get it?

0:12:04 > 0:12:06I think you should just get it.

0:12:06 > 0:12:09It's nice though, isn't it?

0:12:09 > 0:12:12Yeah, it's really nice.

0:12:12 > 0:12:14I think you should just get it.

0:12:14 > 0:12:16Yeah.

0:12:16 > 0:12:20I should probably just get it.

0:12:20 > 0:12:24You should definitely get it. It's really nice.

0:12:24 > 0:12:27I really like it.

0:12:27 > 0:12:30I can wear it with leggings.

0:12:30 > 0:12:33Yeah, it's really nice.

0:12:35 > 0:12:37So you're going to take it then?

0:12:39 > 0:12:41- No.- No.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43- Thanks very much. Bye.- Bye.

0:12:49 > 0:12:54All right? I'm Damien Hirst and I done some dots.

0:12:54 > 0:12:56Ten million quid. Get in!

0:12:58 > 0:13:01Hey, I'm Candy.

0:13:01 > 0:13:03And I'm April.

0:13:03 > 0:13:07BOTH: And we're Hugh Hefner's new girlfriends.

0:13:07 > 0:13:09Yay!! Woo!!

0:13:12 > 0:13:17So, today at the mansion, we're having an Easter party.

0:13:17 > 0:13:18Here I come!!

0:13:19 > 0:13:21A whole ton of people are coming,

0:13:21 > 0:13:24so right now, we're just getting everything ready.

0:13:24 > 0:13:25Yay!

0:13:27 > 0:13:31Look at my butt cheeks. They're so round and firm.

0:13:34 > 0:13:36Oops.

0:13:36 > 0:13:39So we painted up a whole bunch of eggs that we're gonna hide

0:13:39 > 0:13:42in the garden for the Easter egg hunt.

0:13:42 > 0:13:44This is me...

0:13:46 > 0:13:49And this is Hef.

0:13:49 > 0:13:51Isn't he adorable? I love you, Puffin.

0:13:51 > 0:13:54Mwah, mwah, mwah...

0:13:55 > 0:13:58Hef really loves his parties.

0:13:58 > 0:14:01And even though he can only stand for, like ten minutes at a time,

0:14:01 > 0:14:04he's such a party animal. He really turns me on.

0:14:04 > 0:14:07Yeah, he's so hot.

0:14:08 > 0:14:11Yeah, Hef's really hot.

0:14:11 > 0:14:14Yeah, he's such a hottie.

0:14:14 > 0:14:16Yeah, he's superhot.

0:14:16 > 0:14:18KNOCKING

0:14:18 > 0:14:22Where are my two favourite snuggle bunnies?

0:14:23 > 0:14:26Papa wants to show you his Easter eggies.

0:14:26 > 0:14:28THEY HEAVE

0:14:28 > 0:14:32Who wants to unwrap Papa's eggie-weggies?

0:14:34 > 0:14:38There's a party in my eggs and you're invited.

0:14:42 > 0:14:44Coming, Puffin!

0:14:46 > 0:14:49Right, this time it's definitely your turn.

0:14:49 > 0:14:51- No it's not.- Yes it is!

0:14:51 > 0:14:53I did the early bird shift. So...

0:14:53 > 0:14:57I did elevenses and I did the midday massage, so...

0:14:57 > 0:15:00Well, but I did Sexy Saturday, so...

0:15:00 > 0:15:03I did Slutty Sunday, so...

0:15:03 > 0:15:05I did Missionary Monday...

0:15:05 > 0:15:07I did Tantric Tuesday...

0:15:07 > 0:15:08I did Whipped Cream Wednesday ..

0:15:08 > 0:15:13I did Threesome Thursday! On my own!

0:15:13 > 0:15:15Well, I'm not doing it.

0:15:15 > 0:15:17You still owe me for Viagra Valentine's.

0:15:17 > 0:15:19- Well, I CAN'T do it. - Why not?

0:15:19 > 0:15:22Because I have concussion!!

0:15:22 > 0:15:25What? No, you don't.

0:15:37 > 0:15:40- Damn it!- I'm waiting.

0:15:40 > 0:15:43Papa wants his snuggle cuddles.

0:15:43 > 0:15:45SHE HEAVES

0:15:47 > 0:15:49Coming, Puffin!

0:15:53 > 0:15:55- What you doing? - Gosh.

0:15:55 > 0:15:56Gosh what? What is it?

0:15:56 > 0:15:58It's from Barbara Broccoli.

0:15:58 > 0:16:00What? As in the producer of James Bond?

0:16:00 > 0:16:05Yeah. Apparently I'm one of the favourites to be the new Bond Girl.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07Don't be ridiculous. Let me see.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11It's between you and Penelope Cruz.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14- I know. - When did you audition for this?

0:16:14 > 0:16:17I didn't. I didn't audition.

0:16:17 > 0:16:19It's very unexpected.

0:16:19 > 0:16:23Well, why would they come to you? I mean, there must be some kind of a mistake.

0:16:23 > 0:16:26Well, I presume they're looking for someone

0:16:26 > 0:16:29with the face of a supermodel and a body that screams,

0:16:29 > 0:16:31"Hello I'm sexually dangerous".

0:16:33 > 0:16:35Well, that would certainly be you, wouldn't it?

0:16:35 > 0:16:37I wouldn't like to say.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41What's the part called?

0:16:41 > 0:16:43Jenny Tal Frenzie.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46Jenny Tal Frenzie? Jenny Tal...

0:16:46 > 0:16:50- Genital Frenzy? - I presume she's Italian.

0:16:50 > 0:16:52Post for Miss Oliver?

0:16:52 > 0:16:53Oh, yes, thank you.

0:16:58 > 0:17:00Oh, my goodness, it's from Barbara Broccoli.

0:17:00 > 0:17:03Apparently I'm down to the last two to play James Bond.

0:17:03 > 0:17:07- What? - I know! I didn't audition either!

0:17:07 > 0:17:11Erm, yeah, apparently the whole blond Bond thing wasn't working out

0:17:11 > 0:17:13so they wanted to go back to the archetype -

0:17:13 > 0:17:17tall, dark and classically handsome so...

0:17:17 > 0:17:21Oh brilliant. Brilliant (!) It's between me and David Tennant.

0:17:21 > 0:17:24Oh, he always gets your parts, doesn't he?

0:17:24 > 0:17:27- I didn't want to be the Doctor anyway, so...- Yes, you did.

0:17:27 > 0:17:30- No, I didn't. - You cried when you didn't get it.

0:17:30 > 0:17:32That's overstating it a bit, Lorna.

0:17:32 > 0:17:36Ingrid, you shaved all your hair off and burnt your house down.

0:17:36 > 0:17:40Yes, well, that was the past and this is the future.

0:17:40 > 0:17:42I really want this job, Lorna,

0:17:42 > 0:17:46and I really want to be the next James Bond.

0:17:46 > 0:17:51Yeah, well, I really want to be the next James Bond... girl.

0:17:54 > 0:17:58- Oh, no, Ingrid.- What?- It says she's watching the show tonight.- What?

0:17:58 > 0:18:01Barbara Broccoli is watching the show right now.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12Lorna, can I talk to you for a minute please?

0:18:13 > 0:18:15- Lorna!- Yes.

0:18:15 > 0:18:18This is our big chance, OK?

0:18:18 > 0:18:20I have a plan.

0:18:20 > 0:18:24We end the show with a spectacular James Bond-themed finale

0:18:24 > 0:18:27that will quite simply blow her mind.

0:18:36 > 0:18:40Or I could make her a collage.

0:18:40 > 0:18:42OK, let's stick with the spectacular

0:18:42 > 0:18:45James Bond-themed finale for now, shall we?

0:18:45 > 0:18:48Well, if you're sure. I can knock them out pretty quick so...

0:18:48 > 0:18:51OK, well, we've always got that as a back-up, haven't we?

0:18:55 > 0:18:58Right. Now Susan, what are you doing?

0:19:02 > 0:19:04That's done.

0:19:04 > 0:19:07Oh, right, yes, now, I'll be with you in a second.

0:19:09 > 0:19:13Erm, change, good. Sorry. Where were we?

0:19:13 > 0:19:17- Yes? Can I help you? - Morning. Two adults and two children for the house, please.

0:19:17 > 0:19:21Right, one second, if you would...

0:19:21 > 0:19:24Diane! I'm all on my own here, love!

0:19:24 > 0:19:26Sorry, what was I doing?

0:19:26 > 0:19:30Right, so two adults and two children, wasn't it?

0:19:30 > 0:19:34And that was for the house, you say, not the gardens?

0:19:34 > 0:19:39- I don't think the kids are bothered about the gardens.- Just a second...

0:19:39 > 0:19:41So that's two adults, £4.60 each,

0:19:41 > 0:19:44that's £4.60 times two.

0:19:44 > 0:19:46£1.20. Carry the one.

0:19:46 > 0:19:50That will be...

0:19:50 > 0:19:54£9.20 please, for the adults. Forgetting them, aren't we?

0:19:54 > 0:19:56And... So...

0:19:56 > 0:20:00What are you doing, Susan? What are you doing?

0:20:00 > 0:20:02So... Right. Start again.

0:20:02 > 0:20:06Two adults, two children, done the adults.

0:20:06 > 0:20:09So are both kids under 21?

0:20:09 > 0:20:11Yes.

0:20:11 > 0:20:14OK. So that's simple.

0:20:14 > 0:20:17Diane?! I'm manning the fort on my own here, love!

0:20:17 > 0:20:23So they're £3 each and you don't want the gardens, you say?

0:20:23 > 0:20:27- No, thanks.- No. So what am I doing, Susan? What am I...

0:20:27 > 0:20:31So they're £2 each right and we've looked at that

0:20:31 > 0:20:34so we don't need that any more.

0:20:34 > 0:20:37So that's the £9.20 plus the four...

0:20:37 > 0:20:42£13.20, please.

0:20:42 > 0:20:44We got there eventually, didn't we?

0:20:44 > 0:20:48Do you have a souvenir brochure, by any chance?

0:20:51 > 0:20:52You want a brochure?

0:20:52 > 0:20:55- Only if you've got...- Brochure.

0:20:55 > 0:20:58Brochure, brochure, brochure, brochure, brochure, brochure.

0:20:58 > 0:21:03Brochure, brochure, brochure.

0:21:03 > 0:21:07Right, got that. Now. What are you doing, Susan?

0:21:07 > 0:21:10So, we've dealt with the entrance fee. That's done.

0:21:10 > 0:21:12There's your brochure.

0:21:12 > 0:21:16So what are you doing, Susan? What are you doing?

0:21:16 > 0:21:20So this is £6, so that's £6

0:21:20 > 0:21:23plus the £13.20.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25Look, if it's easier we'll forget the brochure.

0:21:29 > 0:21:30You don't want the brochure?

0:21:30 > 0:21:34It's just the £13.20 for the entrance.

0:21:34 > 0:21:37£13.20? Yes, if you say so.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39So er...

0:21:46 > 0:21:49- Two and five to you.- Thank you.

0:21:49 > 0:21:52Actually I've got a few free souvenir pencils under here

0:21:52 > 0:21:54for the children if you'd like a couple?

0:21:54 > 0:21:58Oh, thank you. Like that, kids? That would be lovely, thank you.

0:21:58 > 0:22:02Pencils, pencils, pencils, pencils!

0:22:02 > 0:22:05Pencils. What are you doing, Susan?

0:22:05 > 0:22:09What are you looking for? Pencils, pencils, pencils, pencils.

0:22:09 > 0:22:12Right, got 'em! Aaarrgh!!

0:22:12 > 0:22:13Diane!!!!

0:22:15 > 0:22:18All right?

0:22:18 > 0:22:23I'm Damien Hirst and I done a load of diamonds on a skull.

0:22:23 > 0:22:24Hundred million nicker.

0:22:26 > 0:22:27Ker-ching!

0:22:50 > 0:22:52# See reflections on the water

0:22:54 > 0:22:56# More than darkness in the depths

0:22:58 > 0:23:01# See him surface in every shadow

0:23:03 > 0:23:05# On the wind I feel his breath

0:23:08 > 0:23:12# Goldeneye, I found his weakness

0:23:12 > 0:23:16# Goldeneye, he'll do what I please

0:23:16 > 0:23:20# Goldeneye, no time for sweetness

0:23:20 > 0:23:24# But a bitter kiss will bring him to his knees

0:23:24 > 0:23:29# You'll never know how I watched you

0:23:29 > 0:23:32# From the shadows as a child

0:23:36 > 0:23:41# You'll never know how it feels to be the one

0:23:41 > 0:23:42# Who's left behind

0:23:46 > 0:23:51# You'll never know the days, the nights, the tears,

0:23:51 > 0:23:53# The tears I've cried

0:23:55 > 0:24:00# But now my time has come and time

0:24:00 > 0:24:03# Time is not on your side

0:24:08 > 0:24:12# See him move through smoke and mirrors

0:24:12 > 0:24:17# Feel his presence in the crowd

0:24:17 > 0:24:22# Other girls they gather around him

0:24:22 > 0:24:24# If I had him I wouldn't let him out...#

0:24:35 > 0:24:38# Goldfinger

0:24:41 > 0:24:45# He's the man, the man with the Midas touch... #

0:24:45 > 0:24:48Ow! Stop it!

0:24:48 > 0:24:49Ow!

0:24:55 > 0:24:58MUSIC: "Live And Let Die" by Paul McCartney & Wings

0:25:05 > 0:25:07- Dead end.- What?

0:25:07 > 0:25:09It's a dead end, turn round.

0:25:11 > 0:25:13# What does it matter to ya?

0:25:13 > 0:25:15# When you've got a job to do,

0:25:15 > 0:25:18# You've got to do it well

0:25:18 > 0:25:21# You've got to give the other fellow hell... #

0:25:21 > 0:25:25You're chasing me now!

0:26:15 > 0:26:19# Nobody does it better

0:26:22 > 0:26:27# Makes me feel sad for the rest

0:26:30 > 0:26:37# Nobody does it half as good as you... #

0:26:39 > 0:26:43- Do you mind if we just talk? - Yeah, that's a much better idea.

0:26:45 > 0:26:48- Actually, do you want to have a go at that collage?- Oh, yes.

0:26:52 > 0:26:55We've got an international situation here, my love.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57Maybe if your nails weren't so long...

0:26:57 > 0:27:00I'm Colin Firth. Humble. Humble.

0:27:00 > 0:27:01And I done a Darcy.

0:27:01 > 0:27:06I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but I did only have half an hour for lunch.

0:27:06 > 0:27:10We got chip butty, darlin', bacon butty, darlin', egg butty, darlin'...

0:27:12 > 0:27:16- Number two's number two.- Number one's number one. So how can you be both?

0:27:16 > 0:27:18What are you doing, Susan?

0:27:18 > 0:27:20- There she is! - There she goes!

0:27:20 > 0:27:22She's really nice.

0:27:22 > 0:27:25Mr Bridgewater!

0:27:25 > 0:27:27Woof, woof, woof!

0:27:35 > 0:27:37Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd