0:00:07 > 0:00:13This programme contains some strong language.
0:00:20 > 0:00:22One eventful night in 1996, comedy
0:00:22 > 0:00:25and rock'n'roll had an ill-advised fumble...
0:00:25 > 0:00:28- Oh!- ..with devastating effects.
0:00:28 > 0:00:31The resulting offspring would soon become famed for its acerbic wit,
0:00:31 > 0:00:33- musical know-how...- Yow!
0:00:33 > 0:00:36..and celebrityish friends.
0:00:36 > 0:00:40It soon became known as Never Mind The Buzzcocks.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43Calm down, God, it's only a pop quiz.
0:00:43 > 0:00:46Always the first in line to offer words of wisdom and compassion...
0:00:46 > 0:00:48Come on, bell end, do something.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51..this show became an oracle for the world of entertainment.
0:00:51 > 0:00:53I'm Simon Amstell, and if you think I'm a poor booking,
0:00:53 > 0:00:55let's meet tonight's guests.
0:00:55 > 0:00:57And when it comes to splits, spats...
0:00:57 > 0:00:58- See you later.- What?
0:00:58 > 0:01:01..and guessing which member of a line-up used to be
0:01:01 > 0:01:05the drummer in some band you barely remember, Buzzcocks has seen it all.
0:01:06 > 0:01:09So join us for a vintage Buzzcocks year,
0:01:09 > 0:01:15one that would bring together Preston, Donny, Dappy and Bonnie.
0:01:15 > 0:01:19You're watching What A Load Of Buzzcocks 2007.
0:01:19 > 0:01:22# Media karma Another day another drama. #
0:01:22 > 0:01:26A year that saw public interest in celebrities reach a whole new level.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30Britney Spears' private life has hit a new low after a very public divorce.
0:01:30 > 0:01:34Allegations of drugs and alcohol abuse as she's now been ordered by
0:01:34 > 0:01:39a judge to hand over her children to her ex-husband, Kevin Federline.
0:01:39 > 0:01:43And eventually, poor Britney couldn't even pop out for a number two in private.
0:01:43 > 0:01:47- NEWS REPORTER:- Britney Spears lopped off her hair and minutes later got
0:01:47 > 0:01:51a tattoo on her hip and wrist before being driven to a nearby hospital.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53BIG BROTHER THEME TUNE
0:01:53 > 0:01:57Meanwhile Big Brother housemates got caught up in a racism row
0:01:57 > 0:02:00that pretty much brought the world to the brink of total collapse.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02Now, you'd have got pretty good odds a week ago
0:02:02 > 0:02:05against the chances of the Chancellor of the Exchequer
0:02:05 > 0:02:07using a visit to India to talk about Celebrity Big Brother.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10We want to send the message as I know most British people want,
0:02:10 > 0:02:13we are a nation of fairness and tolerance.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17And as ever, Buzzcocks was there with its finger firmly on the pulse.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20How do you stand on all the Channel 4 with all the business, you know,
0:02:20 > 0:02:23- the terrible, you know.- Bill, it's six weeks ago?- What?- The racism.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27- Six weeks ago?- This is going out in six weeks.- Oh, yeah.- Don't say that!
0:02:27 > 0:02:28What?
0:02:28 > 0:02:32Don't say it's six weeks ago when it's now, you're BLEEP with my head!
0:02:32 > 0:02:34LAUGHTER
0:02:36 > 0:02:41- It's now in my head!- I know, I just don't want you to waste...
0:02:41 > 0:02:44Oh, so let's talk about things that might happen in the future.
0:02:44 > 0:02:46LAUGHTER
0:02:46 > 0:02:49Blimey, them new hover trousers, they're great, aren't they?
0:02:49 > 0:02:51They're funny.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54How is it with the new perfume range you've launched?
0:02:54 > 0:02:56LAUGHTER
0:02:56 > 0:02:58- Sh!- Nobody's asked me to launch one.
0:02:58 > 0:03:00They have, because it's in the future!
0:03:00 > 0:03:02LAUGHTER
0:03:02 > 0:03:05He said it was the future, the Time Lord.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08LAUGHTER
0:03:08 > 0:03:09I'd love to launch a perfume.
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Yes, Bonnie's perfume is going very well, thank you, Simon,
0:03:12 > 0:03:16so let's carry on as if nothing happened, nobody is any the wiser.
0:03:16 > 0:03:17Mm-mm.
0:03:17 > 0:03:18LAUGHTER
0:03:18 > 0:03:19So.
0:03:19 > 0:03:23Also starring in 2007's Celebrity Big Brother,
0:03:23 > 0:03:25who could forget this guy?
0:03:25 > 0:03:28- What's his name again? - It's Donny Tourette.- Oh, yeah.
0:03:28 > 0:03:31- I should explain, Donny is a punk.- Yeah.
0:03:31 > 0:03:32LAUGHTER
0:03:32 > 0:03:34Just in case anyone didn't know.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36It's because I'm not wearing a Mohican,
0:03:36 > 0:03:38that you might not understand and all that.
0:03:38 > 0:03:41Right, it's more inside, it's like a philosophy.
0:03:41 > 0:03:42LAUGHTER
0:03:42 > 0:03:44It's like a spike inside your gut.
0:03:44 > 0:03:47Yeah, it's like a Mohican on your pancreas, man.
0:03:47 > 0:03:49LAUGHTER
0:03:49 > 0:03:52- Do you know what, just because you haven't got a hair...- Yeah.
0:03:52 > 0:03:54..to pull it off, doesn't mean you can't mean it.
0:03:54 > 0:03:57No, man, I'm wearing my Mohican like on the back of my head.
0:03:57 > 0:03:59LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:04:02 > 0:04:03BLEEP everything.
0:04:03 > 0:04:04LAUGHTER
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- See?- Don't BLEEP Status Quo fella.
0:04:06 > 0:04:10Pinch everything, pencils, look, see, BLEEP.
0:04:10 > 0:04:11LAUGHTER
0:04:11 > 0:04:14Hello, Donny's put sunglasses on.
0:04:14 > 0:04:16That'll tell Thatcher.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18LAUGHTER
0:04:18 > 0:04:19Do you want to have a go?
0:04:23 > 0:04:24Whoa.
0:04:24 > 0:04:27What you need to do is give it a little bit of that.
0:04:27 > 0:04:28And now I'm cool.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31LAUGHTER
0:04:31 > 0:04:33That looks disgusting. What is that?
0:04:33 > 0:04:37- Yeah, what is that move you do? - It's a mucho mucho love-o.
0:04:37 > 0:04:39- Come and join in with me.- Is it?
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Oh, it's kind of a begging thing, isn't it?
0:04:41 > 0:04:43LAUGHTER
0:04:43 > 0:04:47- It's a bit like a tramp, it's a begging thing.- It's a begging thing.
0:04:47 > 0:04:50- Do you know what, you'd be quite happy at home on the streets.- Yeah.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53But then again, not many people would take a pee on you
0:04:53 > 0:04:54- because you're pretty ugly.- Ooh!
0:04:54 > 0:04:58I should explain, Bill is a professional comedian.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00LAUGHTER
0:05:00 > 0:05:01You won't win.
0:05:01 > 0:05:04LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:05:06 > 0:05:09I'm sensing you're going to be a peculiar nuisance this evening.
0:05:09 > 0:05:10LAUGHTER
0:05:10 > 0:05:11And keep watching,
0:05:11 > 0:05:13because there'll be more from Donny Tourette later.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19# A moment like this. #
0:05:19 > 0:05:242007 saw one man catapulted into the celebrity stratosphere.
0:05:24 > 0:05:28His name was Ed and he was a well driller.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Let's sit back and enjoy history in the making.
0:05:30 > 0:05:33Bill's first guest is Ordinary Boy and professional celebrity,
0:05:33 > 0:05:35it's Preston.
0:05:35 > 0:05:40# I love you, you know that, don't you? #
0:05:40 > 0:05:42Preston appeared on Celebrity Big Brother
0:05:42 > 0:05:44and then married the winner, Chantelle.
0:05:44 > 0:05:47Preston was worried it would alienate hard-core Ordinary Boys fans,
0:05:47 > 0:05:49but luckily neither of them were in the country...
0:05:49 > 0:05:50LAUGHTER
0:05:50 > 0:05:51..or existed.
0:05:51 > 0:05:53LAUGHTER
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Preston is angry now, I can't continue.
0:05:55 > 0:05:56LAUGHTER
0:05:56 > 0:05:59I've been listening to your album, it's very impressive.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01- Good, thank you. - All tracks written by Preston.
0:06:02 > 0:06:05Except two, three, four...
0:06:05 > 0:06:06LAUGHTER
0:06:06 > 0:06:10- ..six, seven.- I still wrote all them, I just wrote them with my guitarist.
0:06:10 > 0:06:11Sure, sure you did. Nine...
0:06:11 > 0:06:13LAUGHTER
0:06:13 > 0:06:15..ten, 11, 13 and 15.
0:06:15 > 0:06:18LAUGHTER
0:06:18 > 0:06:20- Sorry, I like it though.- Good.
0:06:20 > 0:06:21LAUGHTER
0:06:25 > 0:06:27"The Paris Hilton work was a low point for me.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31"It wasn't what I wanted to be doing and on top of that it caused me
0:06:31 > 0:06:33"some real problems with my hair."
0:06:33 > 0:06:35LAUGHTER
0:06:35 > 0:06:37What, it's a good... Haven't you read it?
0:06:37 > 0:06:39I don't want to spoil the ending for you.
0:06:39 > 0:06:42LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:06:43 > 0:06:45"The photoshoot was for the Daily Mail,
0:06:45 > 0:06:47"which made me feel really posh and up-market."
0:06:47 > 0:06:51Oh, you've blown it, man. See you later, I can't be doing with this. Sorry.
0:06:51 > 0:06:54- What? Oh, no, Preston, come on. - I'm seriously going home.- Preston, we're having fun.
0:06:54 > 0:06:57- I ain't.- Come on, Preston. Oh, no, we can't lose Preston.
0:06:57 > 0:06:59LAUGHTER
0:06:59 > 0:07:01I guess he thought he's been voted out.
0:07:01 > 0:07:04LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:07:07 > 0:07:09I mean, I only read his girlfriend's book.
0:07:09 > 0:07:11- AUDIENCE MEMBER:- That's his wife.
0:07:11 > 0:07:12I only read his wife's book.
0:07:12 > 0:07:15LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:07:15 > 0:07:18- What's wrong with that? - I can't believe that upset him.
0:07:18 > 0:07:20I mean, I don't know if he's read it, I've read the whole thing
0:07:20 > 0:07:22and it upset me.
0:07:22 > 0:07:23LAUGHTER
0:07:25 > 0:07:27Anyone look a bit like Preston and you want to...?
0:07:27 > 0:07:29LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:07:31 > 0:07:32Right there.
0:07:36 > 0:07:40- Hang on a minute.- He's going to find someone.- Right there.
0:07:41 > 0:07:42Come here, come here.
0:07:42 > 0:07:44CHEERING
0:07:46 > 0:07:47We've got a lookie-likie.
0:07:59 > 0:08:00You'll be fine.
0:08:02 > 0:08:04CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:08:06 > 0:08:10You've just got to look a bit surly, like that, that's it, perfect.
0:08:10 > 0:08:13Look a bit surly and every time he goes...say it's out of order.
0:08:13 > 0:08:14Say that.
0:08:14 > 0:08:16LAUGHTER
0:08:17 > 0:08:19You chose a really pretty one, he looks great.
0:08:21 > 0:08:22Welcome to show business.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27- What is your name?- Ed. - Hello, Preston.
0:08:27 > 0:08:30Oh, no, hang on. We can't have two Eds.
0:08:30 > 0:08:33It's all right, we've got one Ed, one Phil, one Preston.
0:08:33 > 0:08:38- What do you do in your real life? - Um, a well driller.- A well driller?
0:08:38 > 0:08:42- Drill boreholes.- Water wells, or oil wells?- Neither.- Ah.
0:08:42 > 0:08:44LAUGHTER
0:08:44 > 0:08:46What kind of well is there? Is it a lemonade well?
0:08:46 > 0:08:48You're smiling, if we make fun of you,
0:08:48 > 0:08:50you're already being a very bad Preston.
0:08:50 > 0:08:52LAUGHTER
0:08:52 > 0:08:55I didn't even finish the quote from the book.
0:08:55 > 0:08:56LAUGHTER
0:08:56 > 0:08:57It's out of order.
0:08:57 > 0:09:00APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:09:03 > 0:09:06We'll always be grateful to Ed for helping us out and staying
0:09:06 > 0:09:07until the end of the show.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10So thanks to Phil, Preston, Ed, Bill, Fyfe and Anne.
0:09:10 > 0:09:11This has been Never Mind The Buzzcocks,
0:09:11 > 0:09:14and that's the end of tonight's show.
0:09:14 > 0:09:16PIANO PLAYS NEIGHBOURS THEME TUNE
0:09:23 > 0:09:25APPLAUSE
0:09:30 > 0:09:34The word "legend" gets bandied around all too often these days
0:09:34 > 0:09:37and it seems glib to use it to describe someone who's just
0:09:37 > 0:09:39really bloody good on a panel show.
0:09:39 > 0:09:42So anyway, step forward Buzzcocks legend Bill Bailey.
0:09:42 > 0:09:44Looking to meet guys in your area?
0:09:44 > 0:09:46LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:09:49 > 0:09:512007 was Bill Bailey's fifth
0:09:51 > 0:09:56and final full year as skipper on Buzzcocks. But who was he really?
0:09:56 > 0:10:01I'm actually a 1982 Michael Bolton Stars In Their Eyes regional finalist.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04The last time I was on you bought me a Klingon nonce.
0:10:04 > 0:10:05LAUGHTER
0:10:05 > 0:10:07It's the gay, hippy Dennis the Menace.
0:10:07 > 0:10:10You're an Art Garfunkel tribute.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13You look like Anthony Hopkins now.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14LAUGHTER
0:10:14 > 0:10:15Hey, still got it.
0:10:15 > 0:10:16LAUGHTER
0:10:18 > 0:10:21Here are the top five things we know about Bill.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24At number five, he's a wizard on guitar.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27THEY PLAY ADDAMS FAMILY THEME TUNE
0:10:36 > 0:10:37No!
0:10:50 > 0:10:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:10:55 > 0:10:56That's rock'n'roll.
0:10:57 > 0:11:02At four, he can work with anyone, even actual superstars.
0:11:02 > 0:11:04Take your time.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06It's like weird Siamese twins joined at the goat.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09LAUGHTER
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Oh!
0:11:12 > 0:11:16I suddenly am filled with the urge to buy some cheap Belgian porn.
0:11:16 > 0:11:18LAUGHTER
0:11:18 > 0:11:21I come about the, er, fridge, yes?
0:11:21 > 0:11:22LAUGHTER
0:11:22 > 0:11:26- It's not broken. - Oh, gosh, it's so hot in here.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28LAUGHTER
0:11:28 > 0:11:32Three, Bill is an expert in rock'n'roll analysis.
0:11:32 > 0:11:36Just run this thing, I think he's actually hypnotising in it.
0:11:36 > 0:11:38"Now, you are a chicken."
0:11:38 > 0:11:40LAUGHTER
0:11:40 > 0:11:43"Go and get a chicken?" "No, you are a chicken."
0:11:43 > 0:11:44LAUGHTER
0:11:44 > 0:11:48"And now pretend that the floor is very hot."
0:11:48 > 0:11:50"Oh! Ow, ow, ow!"
0:11:50 > 0:11:53LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:11:53 > 0:11:55"Oh. Ow, ow, ow!"
0:11:55 > 0:12:00Two, the Bill Bailey look is unique and inimitable.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:12:09 > 0:12:10OK.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12LAUGHTER
0:12:17 > 0:12:20You have to order them according to how many times they've
0:12:20 > 0:12:22turned on Christmas lights with the most on the left.
0:12:22 > 0:12:24But first of all, who do you think they are?
0:12:24 > 0:12:26HE LAUGHS
0:12:30 > 0:12:31Any ideas, Bill Bailey?
0:12:31 > 0:12:33LAUGHTER
0:12:34 > 0:12:38Can I just tell you that actually somebody in the street was
0:12:38 > 0:12:43walking along and they pointed at me and they said, "You're trying
0:12:43 > 0:12:47"to be Bill Bailey, aren't you?" And then they went, "Nice try!"
0:12:47 > 0:12:49LAUGHTER
0:12:50 > 0:12:53Actually, he does look a little bit more like me than I do.
0:12:55 > 0:12:56And at number one,
0:12:56 > 0:12:59Bill left a lasting impression on all those he worked with.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02- I'm having fun tonight. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05- But I just feel like, you know, with Bill not here...- Yeah.
0:13:05 > 0:13:07I feel almost like I can't breathe.
0:13:09 > 0:13:13- Certainly let him know how you feel if you do feel like that.- Yeah.
0:13:13 > 0:13:15Maybe you're right.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21LIP-SYNCHING: # If I should die before I wake
0:13:21 > 0:13:23# It's cos you took my breath away
0:13:23 > 0:13:28# Losing you is like living in a world with no air
0:13:28 > 0:13:29# Oh
0:13:29 > 0:13:32LIP-SYNCHING: # I'm here alone Didn't wanna leave
0:13:32 > 0:13:35# My heart won't move It's incomplete
0:13:35 > 0:13:40# Wish there was a way that I can make you understand
0:13:40 > 0:13:45# But how do you expect me
0:13:45 > 0:13:49# To live alone with just me
0:13:49 > 0:13:55# Cos my world revolves around you It's so hard for me to breathe
0:13:55 > 0:13:57# Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
0:13:57 > 0:14:00# Can't live, can't breathe with no air
0:14:00 > 0:14:03# It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
0:14:03 > 0:14:06# It's no air, it's no air. #
0:14:06 > 0:14:08CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:14:11 > 0:14:13Bill Bailey, we salute you.
0:14:16 > 0:14:20And speaking of legends, time for a bit more Donny Tourette.
0:14:20 > 0:14:21Hang on a minute.
0:14:21 > 0:14:23Donny is smoking now!
0:14:23 > 0:14:26What is he going to do next?
0:14:26 > 0:14:28LAUGHTER
0:14:29 > 0:14:33A cigarette that you can legally buy in shops?
0:14:33 > 0:14:35LAUGHTER
0:14:38 > 0:14:41I'll try to carry on but I'm shocked and appalled.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43LAUGHTER
0:14:49 > 0:14:542007 saw It girl Paris Hilton get banged up.
0:14:54 > 0:14:56Hollywood socialite Paris Hilton will now have to get used to a tiny
0:14:56 > 0:14:58cell and a prisoner's jumpsuit.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01You know, even though this is a scary thing,
0:15:01 > 0:15:05I'm using it in a positive way and when I come out
0:15:05 > 0:15:09I can't wait to start my new life and be even stronger than I am now.
0:15:09 > 0:15:12Steve Jobs tried his luck with a new telephone.
0:15:12 > 0:15:15It's a revolutionary mobile phone.
0:15:15 > 0:15:17CHEERING
0:15:17 > 0:15:20An iPod. A phone.
0:15:20 > 0:15:23CHEERING
0:15:23 > 0:15:24Are you getting it?
0:15:26 > 0:15:28# And it's raining more than ever. #
0:15:28 > 0:15:31And during the wettest summer on record,
0:15:31 > 0:15:35Rihanna had a huge hit with the appropriately titled Umbrella.
0:15:35 > 0:15:36# Under my umbrella
0:15:36 > 0:15:39# Ella ella eh eh. #
0:15:39 > 0:15:43Here's another of 2007's biggest anthems as performed
0:15:43 > 0:15:47by Phil Jupitus and Scouting For Girls' front man, Roy Stride.
0:15:47 > 0:15:49# Da da da, da da da
0:15:49 > 0:15:52# Da da da, da da da
0:15:52 > 0:15:54# Da da da, da da da
0:15:54 > 0:15:57# Da da da, da da da
0:15:57 > 0:16:00# Da da da, da da da
0:16:00 > 0:16:05# Da da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da, da-da. #
0:16:05 > 0:16:08Is it the menu saver on Sky?
0:16:08 > 0:16:10LAUGHTER
0:16:12 > 0:16:15- No.- No. But that was very modern.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19- Quite modern, yeah.- Quite a modern gag.- Yeah.
0:16:19 > 0:16:22Good. What else have you got? Go on, do something about Facebook.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24LAUGHTER
0:16:24 > 0:16:29- OK, I'm passing it over.- It's the Kaiser Chiefs.- With?- Ruby.- Correct.
0:16:29 > 0:16:33Kaiser Chiefs celebrated hitting the top stop by ordering a takeaway.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35I can't remember what they had.
0:16:35 > 0:16:36# Ruby, Ruby, Ruby. #
0:16:36 > 0:16:39Oh, yeah, that's right, Chinese.
0:16:40 > 0:16:45Take That locked themselves away in cubicles and started wailing.
0:16:45 > 0:16:49Which is also what Robbie Williams did when he heard the track.
0:16:51 > 0:16:53MUSIC: "Grace Kelly" by Mika
0:16:55 > 0:17:002007 saw Mika grab his pop career by the balls.
0:17:00 > 0:17:04Which incidentally is how he managed to hit those high notes.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10# Why don't you come on over, Valerie. #
0:17:10 > 0:17:12And Mark Ronson was busy collaborating with
0:17:12 > 0:17:16some of music's biggest names, and who bigger than Phil Jupitus?
0:17:16 > 0:17:19HE PLAYS "GO WEST" BY THE PET SHOP BOYS
0:17:24 > 0:17:26Oh!
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Yes!
0:17:29 > 0:17:31APPLAUSE
0:17:45 > 0:17:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:17:47 > 0:17:49He's good, isn't he?
0:17:52 > 0:17:54- You're good, aren't you? - You must get it, Vic?
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Of course I know what it is.
0:17:56 > 0:18:00- Well, go on?- It's Go West.- Yeah. By the Pet Shop Boys.
0:18:00 > 0:18:01# Go west. #
0:18:01 > 0:18:03APPLAUSE
0:18:07 > 0:18:10Now, why, Ronson, have you not covered Hear'Say yet?
0:18:10 > 0:18:11Why has that not happened?
0:18:11 > 0:18:14I've didn't...I've never...heard or seen...
0:18:14 > 0:18:16LAUGHTER
0:18:16 > 0:18:17I live in America.
0:18:19 > 0:18:21I wonder how Donny Tourette's getting on.
0:18:21 > 0:18:25I would pass it over at this point but Donny Tourette has gone missing.
0:18:25 > 0:18:29Mid-show, the boy has disappeared. Who knows where he's gone.
0:18:29 > 0:18:31I will pass it over but I'll play him.
0:18:33 > 0:18:36LAUGHTER
0:18:36 > 0:18:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:18:42 > 0:18:46- How's your cig there, Tourette? - Did his helmet go blue?
0:18:46 > 0:18:47LAUGHTER
0:18:47 > 0:18:52I don't know. Simon, did his helmet go blue?
0:18:52 > 0:18:53Hi there, sunshine.
0:18:53 > 0:18:55LAUGHTER
0:19:00 > 0:19:03- That's the worst thing that's ever happened to me. - # Do be do be do-do-do. #
0:19:03 > 0:19:06LAUGHTER
0:19:06 > 0:19:07# Do be do be do-do-do. #
0:19:07 > 0:19:10The only reason I'm on the show is because you told everyone you fancied me, dude.
0:19:10 > 0:19:13It's not, it's because we have difficulty booking people.
0:19:13 > 0:19:15LAUGHTER
0:19:18 > 0:19:22The beauty of Buzzcocks is that you never know what you're going to get.
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Especially when it comes to guests.
0:19:24 > 0:19:282007 saw a total eclipse of the studio as Bonnie Tyler made quite
0:19:28 > 0:19:30an impression.
0:19:30 > 0:19:34How many Manchester United players does it take to change a light bulb?
0:19:34 > 0:19:37I don't know, how many Manchester United players does it take
0:19:37 > 0:19:38to change a light bulb?
0:19:38 > 0:19:41Two. One from the team and one from the guy that goes to fetch
0:19:41 > 0:19:43the other one in Reading.
0:19:43 > 0:19:44LAUGHTER
0:19:46 > 0:19:48Shall we pump your stomach? I don't know what to do.
0:19:50 > 0:19:54THEY SING THE TUNE OF "RING OF FIRE" BY JOHNNY CASH
0:20:20 > 0:20:22APPLAUSE
0:20:24 > 0:20:27Krishnan has never looked so terrified.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30And he has reported from war-torn Kashmir, so.
0:20:30 > 0:20:34- And for more of tonight's jokes, here's Krishnan.- Thanks, Simon.
0:20:34 > 0:20:37In 2004, the Cash family refused to allow an ad agency
0:20:37 > 0:20:40to use Ring Of Fire in a commercial for haemorrhoid cream.
0:20:40 > 0:20:44They eventually grew up and went for a medley of songs by Sting,
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Cream and Hole.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:20:50 > 0:20:53- Simon.- Thanks, Krishnan.
0:20:53 > 0:20:54LAUGHTER
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- Now, with the weather, here's Bonnie.- What?
0:20:57 > 0:20:59LAUGHTER
0:21:01 > 0:21:05Over here, it's very warm.
0:21:05 > 0:21:08And down here is going to be very ice cold.
0:21:08 > 0:21:10LAUGHTER
0:21:11 > 0:21:13Up here there's been a lot of wind.
0:21:13 > 0:21:15LAUGHTER
0:21:19 > 0:21:23- Turn around.- # Bright eyes. # - It's not what I've got here.
0:21:23 > 0:21:24Oh.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27# Every now and then I get a little bit lonely
0:21:27 > 0:21:29# When I dream of something wild. #
0:21:29 > 0:21:30No.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35# Every now and then I fall apart. #
0:21:35 > 0:21:37No.
0:21:37 > 0:21:39LAUGHTER
0:21:39 > 0:21:42Every now and then I get a little bit terrified
0:21:42 > 0:21:44and then I see the look in your eyes.
0:21:44 > 0:21:46Correct.
0:21:46 > 0:21:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:21:52 > 0:21:55And from veterans to newcomers.
0:21:55 > 0:22:00Buzzcocks prides itself on providing a platform for up-and-coming stars
0:22:00 > 0:22:05and in 2007, the show proved itself to be the ultimate talent spotter.
0:22:06 > 0:22:10Just when the public were least expecting it, we took a punt,
0:22:10 > 0:22:15a gamble. We stuck it all on red and we hit the jackpot.
0:22:15 > 0:22:19Yes, Buzzcocks was responsible for introducing the world to
0:22:19 > 0:22:22a man who would become one of the greats of a generation.
0:22:22 > 0:22:24Yes, it's Dappy from N-Dubz.
0:22:24 > 0:22:25APPLAUSE
0:22:25 > 0:22:28# You better not waste my time. #
0:22:28 > 0:22:312007 saw N-Dubz burst onto the scene as they were
0:22:31 > 0:22:34crowned best newcomers at the MOBOs.
0:22:34 > 0:22:35N-Dubz.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:22:39 > 0:22:43On a count of three, I want all the males to say, "Na-na-na."
0:22:43 > 0:22:45One, two, three.
0:22:45 > 0:22:46AUDIENCE: Na-na-na.
0:22:46 > 0:22:47Wait, wait, wait.
0:22:47 > 0:22:51- What, what?- Wait, wait.- Hang on a minute.- Whoa, unplanned.
0:22:51 > 0:22:54Who wants to see Simon wear a Dappy hat?
0:22:54 > 0:22:56AUDIENCE SHOUTS APPROVAL
0:22:56 > 0:22:58APPLAUSE
0:22:59 > 0:23:01I like these bits, too,
0:23:01 > 0:23:03it makes you look like a little sort of woollen dog.
0:23:03 > 0:23:05LAUGHTER
0:23:05 > 0:23:09Is that the look you're going for? The knitted poodle.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11LAUGHTER
0:23:11 > 0:23:13- Thank you.- Here you go.- Oh, yeah.
0:23:13 > 0:23:15APPLAUSE
0:23:17 > 0:23:20Can we make a round of applause, please.
0:23:20 > 0:23:22APPLAUSE
0:23:25 > 0:23:27Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:23:27 > 0:23:29So go on, can I be in the N-Dubz now?
0:23:29 > 0:23:32First of all, you can't listen to just any type of music,
0:23:32 > 0:23:35you need to be able to expand your degrees of knowledge of music.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37I listen to George Michael, Phil Collins.
0:23:37 > 0:23:38All together.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40# I'm never going to dance again
0:23:40 > 0:23:44# Guilty feet have got no r... #
0:23:44 > 0:23:46OK, nobody has joined in. Nobody.
0:23:46 > 0:23:47LAUGHTER
0:23:47 > 0:23:49Come on.
0:23:49 > 0:23:53A year later, with their debut album riding high in the charts,
0:23:53 > 0:23:56Dappy had some explaining to do.
0:23:56 > 0:23:57# Who's this woman in my bed? #
0:23:57 > 0:23:59Name's Shaniqua and what?
0:23:59 > 0:24:02LAUGHTER
0:24:02 > 0:24:05APPLAUSE
0:24:05 > 0:24:08What does she mean by, "My name is Shaniqua and what?"
0:24:08 > 0:24:11"My name is Shaniqua and what?", basically, um...
0:24:11 > 0:24:14- My name is Shaniqua and do you have any other questions?- And what?
0:24:14 > 0:24:17Basically, yeah. What are you going to do about it?
0:24:17 > 0:24:20- Is she the one who's been sleeping with that dude there?- Yeah.
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Who's the other one then?
0:24:21 > 0:24:24His girlfriend is the one walking up the stairs.
0:24:24 > 0:24:25Are any of these people married?
0:24:25 > 0:24:28LAUGHTER
0:24:28 > 0:24:30# I've been searching all over Facebook
0:24:30 > 0:24:32# And I can't seem to find you. #
0:24:32 > 0:24:35And in 2009, off the back of their biggest hit to date,
0:24:35 > 0:24:40guest host Martin Freeman gave Dappy another shot at explaining himself.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43"I went to go on Facebook."
0:24:43 > 0:24:45No, the lyrics don't go like that, geezer.
0:24:45 > 0:24:46LAUGHTER
0:24:46 > 0:24:48How do they go?
0:24:48 > 0:24:51Wait, wait, "I've been searching all over Facebook."
0:24:51 > 0:24:54- Really?- That's how it went. - Seri...? This is wrong?- Yeah.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57What I've got here, Dappy, "I went to go on Facebook".
0:24:57 > 0:25:00Next line, "Will I get her face back?"
0:25:01 > 0:25:03My bloody bad.
0:25:03 > 0:25:05LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:25:07 > 0:25:10You know what, brother, that is on the verse, my bad.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12I'm sorry, you're right, you're right.
0:25:13 > 0:25:14May I ask what it's about?
0:25:14 > 0:25:16It's about saying how you was tipsy yesterday,
0:25:16 > 0:25:19and you're pissed you never took this bird's number
0:25:19 > 0:25:20and now you've gone on Facebook,
0:25:20 > 0:25:22you've tried everything to do to find her,
0:25:22 > 0:25:23just can't seem to find her
0:25:23 > 0:25:26and you want to find her so you can nail that...
0:25:26 > 0:25:28LAUGHTER
0:25:30 > 0:25:32They said chivalry was dead.
0:25:32 > 0:25:35LAUGHTER
0:25:35 > 0:25:36# Phil and Daps. #
0:25:36 > 0:25:38THEY BEAT BOX TOGETHER
0:25:40 > 0:25:42# The rest need a slap. #
0:25:42 > 0:25:44He's putting me off with his new lyrics.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46LAUGHTER
0:25:46 > 0:25:48What's with... You can't just make up new words.
0:25:48 > 0:25:51He can, he will, you can't stop him!
0:25:51 > 0:25:53LAUGHTER
0:25:53 > 0:25:56I have to say one thing, big inspiration, you, my darling.
0:25:56 > 0:26:00I've been watching you when I was a baby and whatnot.
0:26:00 > 0:26:03Wait, wait. Now what's that... What, what?
0:26:03 > 0:26:04You know that song.
0:26:04 > 0:26:07# Road rage, giving me the best... #
0:26:07 > 0:26:10LAUGHTER DROWNS OUT SINGING
0:26:10 > 0:26:12See? See? See? What?
0:26:12 > 0:26:15This is awkward. This is awkward.
0:26:15 > 0:26:17LAUGHTER
0:26:17 > 0:26:19- Am I right or wrong?- I think you think she's someone else.
0:26:19 > 0:26:21LAUGHTER
0:26:21 > 0:26:23This is Cerys Matthews from Catatonia.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE
0:26:27 > 0:26:28Dappy.
0:26:28 > 0:26:32You might be smarter than me on this show today, all right? That's it.
0:26:32 > 0:26:35Dappy, you know the way you come in, can you go out the same way?
0:26:35 > 0:26:37LAUGHTER
0:26:39 > 0:26:41HARP MUSIC
0:26:41 > 0:26:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:26:47 > 0:26:48Good night.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Are you going to let me down now, bruv? Seriously.
0:26:51 > 0:26:53LAUGHTER
0:27:00 > 0:27:04So that was 2007 put under the Buzzcocks microscope.
0:27:04 > 0:27:06Before I leave you,
0:27:06 > 0:27:10here's a round-up of some of the faces you've seen tonight.
0:27:10 > 0:27:14Let's kick things off with Adam Buxton, Randy from Big Brovaz,
0:27:14 > 0:27:17KT Tunstall, Bobby Davro, Simon Bird,
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Charlie Brooker, Alfie Jackson from the Holloways,
0:27:20 > 0:27:22Goldie, Rick Wakeman, Adele,
0:27:22 > 0:27:27Har Mar Superstar, that's Fyfe Dangerfield from Guillemots,
0:27:27 > 0:27:29Robert Webb, Martin Freeman,
0:27:29 > 0:27:34Leigh from Terrorvision, Martha Wainwright, AKA Cerys Matthews,
0:27:34 > 0:27:37Matt Goss, Ed the well driller and of course Preston.
0:27:39 > 0:27:40Oh, go on then,
0:27:40 > 0:27:43because you've been good you can have one more bit of Donny Tourette.
0:27:43 > 0:27:46Phil's team have seven points. Bill's team have eight points.
0:27:46 > 0:27:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:27:55 > 0:27:57Donny is unhappy.
0:27:57 > 0:27:59That's bullshit, they didn't win.
0:27:59 > 0:28:00LAUGHTER
0:28:00 > 0:28:02You've given like more questions because they're retards.
0:28:02 > 0:28:04Punks love points.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06LAUGHTER
0:28:06 > 0:28:09Yeah, smash the system but can he have another point?
0:28:09 > 0:28:11LAUGHTER
0:28:11 > 0:28:12He's about as punk as Enya.
0:28:12 > 0:28:15LAUGHTER
0:28:15 > 0:28:20I'm Alex James and that was 2007, What A Load Of Buzzcocks.
0:28:20 > 0:28:26# My fingertips are holding onto the cracks in our foundations
0:28:26 > 0:28:31# And I know that I should let go but I can't
0:28:31 > 0:28:35# And every time we fight I know it's not right
0:28:35 > 0:28:37# Every time that you're upset and I smile
0:28:37 > 0:28:42# I know I should forget but I can't. #
0:28:43 > 0:28:45Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd