2008

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0:00:02 > 0:00:07This programme contains some strong language.

0:00:20 > 0:00:22One eventful night in 1996,

0:00:22 > 0:00:28comedy and rock'n'roll had an ill-advised fumble with devastating effects.

0:00:28 > 0:00:32The resulting offspring would soon become famed for its acerbic wit,

0:00:32 > 0:00:36musical know-how and celebrity-ish friends.

0:00:36 > 0:00:40It soon became known as Never Mind The Buzzcocks.

0:00:40 > 0:00:42Calm down, God, it's only a pop quiz!

0:00:42 > 0:00:46Always the first in line to offer words of wisdom and compassion...

0:00:46 > 0:00:47Come on, bell-end, do something!

0:00:47 > 0:00:51..this show became an oracle for the world of entertainment.

0:00:51 > 0:00:53I'm Simon Amstell, and if you think I'm a poor booking,

0:00:53 > 0:00:55let's meet tonight's guests.

0:00:55 > 0:00:57And when it comes to splits, spats

0:00:57 > 0:01:00and guessing which member of a line-up used to be

0:01:00 > 0:01:04the drummer in some band you barely remember, Buzzcocks has seen it all.

0:01:04 > 0:01:06APPLAUSE

0:01:07 > 0:01:10So join us, as we stumble down memory lane

0:01:10 > 0:01:12and see a little bit of this...

0:01:12 > 0:01:13that...and them.

0:01:13 > 0:01:19You're watching What a Load of Buzzcocks 2008.

0:01:19 > 0:01:20# Womaniser, woman, womaniser... #

0:01:20 > 0:01:23A year that saw two of the country's top entertainers quietly

0:01:23 > 0:01:25pop off for a sabbatical.

0:01:25 > 0:01:29The BBC has apologised unreservedly for a broadcast on Radio 2

0:01:29 > 0:01:31which has drawn more than 10,000 complaints from the public.

0:01:31 > 0:01:34Who made the decision to broadcast it?

0:01:34 > 0:01:36Why did they conclude that it should be broadcast?

0:01:36 > 0:01:39The BBC need to be transparent about all of those decisions

0:01:39 > 0:01:41and explain its decision making process.

0:01:41 > 0:01:43I believe that what I did was wrong

0:01:43 > 0:01:46and I don't want to cause any more trouble.

0:01:46 > 0:01:48Strange, really, when Brand appeared as a guest captain

0:01:48 > 0:01:52on Buzzcocks in the same year, he was the epitome of the British gent.

0:01:54 > 0:01:59God, I love you! We can do this damn quiz. It's only a quiz, isn't it?

0:01:59 > 0:02:00Look at the word "quiz".

0:02:00 > 0:02:02Nothing serious can happen as a result of a quiz.

0:02:02 > 0:02:06"There was a quiz earlier and three men died." It's a quiz!

0:02:06 > 0:02:08APPLAUSE

0:02:08 > 0:02:10When Rachel and I discussed how to do this,

0:02:10 > 0:02:12Rachel very much put the onus on me.

0:02:12 > 0:02:16A man with no musical abilities or experience.

0:02:16 > 0:02:19- She's just tapping on a table. - Similar to what she did in S Club.

0:02:19 > 0:02:23- She's the best one! - She was the best one.

0:02:23 > 0:02:27I would never have joined the S Club, were it not for her.

0:02:27 > 0:02:29- You don't know what it was?- Yes, I do, it's like Scouts or Cubs...

0:02:29 > 0:02:32LAUGHTER

0:02:32 > 0:02:35- We must decide which one we believe was in Bis.- Yes.

0:02:35 > 0:02:38- That is a simple matter... - Do you remember Bis?- Er, well, no.

0:02:38 > 0:02:40As a matter of fact, I am completely oblivious to it.

0:02:40 > 0:02:42You could say, ignorance is Bis!

0:02:42 > 0:02:44LAUGHTER

0:02:44 > 0:02:46Is it that one, that one or that one?

0:02:46 > 0:02:48It could be any of them, they all seem damn nice.

0:02:48 > 0:02:49Now, normally when I'm picking a woman,

0:02:49 > 0:02:51I don't bother with this hullabaloo.

0:02:51 > 0:02:54You can boil it down to a simple gesture.

0:02:54 > 0:02:57But today we're on our best manners. I like that one, she's got a quiff.

0:02:57 > 0:02:59That one looks cute and rosy. She's all sort of innocent.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01That one's filth, I'd go for that one most likely.

0:03:01 > 0:03:03LAUGHTER

0:03:03 > 0:03:07The one with the bullet belt. Shotgun. Peow! Let's go!

0:03:10 > 0:03:12And...breathe.

0:03:12 > 0:03:18Brand was one of many big-name guest captains during 2008's post-Bailey, pre-Fielding era.

0:03:18 > 0:03:22Let's enjoy three of our favourites, starting with James Corden.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25Germaine, are you enjoying James as your captain this evening?

0:03:25 > 0:03:28He's known as a big sex guy, a big womaniser, these days.

0:03:28 > 0:03:31Have you heard about James Corden's antics?

0:03:31 > 0:03:35Frankly, no, and I very much doubt that it occurs within my age-group.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37No, I think...

0:03:37 > 0:03:40You don't know how wrong you are, missy!

0:03:40 > 0:03:43LAUGHTER

0:03:43 > 0:03:49- James, do your chat up line. - Oh, shut up!- Come on.- No!

0:03:49 > 0:03:53It makes women melt, will Germaine melt? Here we go.

0:03:54 > 0:03:55Oh, fuck off, no!

0:03:55 > 0:03:57LAUGHTER

0:03:57 > 0:03:58Go on, go for it.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00AUDIENCE MEMBER: Do it!

0:04:01 > 0:04:08You know what? I... I don't think you know how lovely you are.

0:04:08 > 0:04:11- Well, you're quite wrong. I know exactly...- Shhhh...

0:04:11 > 0:04:13LAUGHTER

0:04:13 > 0:04:16- That's when you're supposed to melt, Germaine.- No, I'm not there yet.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19- We're not at the melting phase yet. - Go on, go on.

0:04:19 > 0:04:21I don't think you know how lovely you are

0:04:21 > 0:04:23and I think you could do with someone around you

0:04:23 > 0:04:26to tell you that every day and that may not be me

0:04:26 > 0:04:28but I want you to find him.

0:04:30 > 0:04:35LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:04:35 > 0:04:39Next up, Stephen Fry with his unique take on the US hip-hop scene.

0:04:41 > 0:04:44That was Akon with Smack That, but how did a pretzel land him

0:04:44 > 0:04:47in trouble with the law at a 2007 New York gig?

0:04:47 > 0:04:51- Do you know anything about Akon? - I fear I'm afraid I don't.

0:04:51 > 0:04:57He seems to come with the standard uniform of the hippoty-hoppoty brigade, with the...

0:04:57 > 0:05:00- He looks very hip-hop. - Yes, absolutely.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER

0:05:03 > 0:05:05Lots of shiny things

0:05:05 > 0:05:08and rather less illustrious attitudes towards women, it seems.

0:05:08 > 0:05:11The worst scenario we can posit is that he in some way inserted

0:05:11 > 0:05:14it without asking permission of a lady.

0:05:14 > 0:05:19That's possible, we all know about Mars bars and Marianne Faithfull.

0:05:19 > 0:05:26So, there is a history in popular music of recto-vaginal insertion.

0:05:26 > 0:05:29LAUGHTER

0:05:29 > 0:05:32And finally, guest team captain Davina,

0:05:32 > 0:05:36who turned up with a little surprise for our host.

0:05:36 > 0:05:40- I feel that maybe our team has had enough...- OK, all right.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42Enough abuse, and we feel and I feel...

0:05:42 > 0:05:46- Why is it when you're single...? - ..the need to maybe turn the tables on you

0:05:46 > 0:05:50for a change and potentially show something a little bit embarrassing about you.

0:05:50 > 0:05:53- Shall we have a look at that?- No! - Yes, let's have a look.

0:05:53 > 0:05:56Simon next, Simon...

0:05:56 > 0:06:01Darlings, possums or should I say Good Morning viewers.

0:06:02 > 0:06:06Now I've been watching Good Morning for a long time now

0:06:06 > 0:06:10and you know, my favourite bit, possums, my favourite bit, darlings,

0:06:10 > 0:06:13is when Anne and Nick get together cheek-to-cheek

0:06:13 > 0:06:16and they love each other darlings, don't they?

0:06:16 > 0:06:19And there they are talking about a touch of love.

0:06:19 > 0:06:22It's just so romantic, possums. Urgh!

0:06:23 > 0:06:26LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:06:32 > 0:06:33Thanks, Davina.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39# American Boy

0:06:39 > 0:06:41# Take me on a trip I'd like to go...#

0:06:41 > 0:06:462008 saw history in the making as Barack Obama was voted into the White House.

0:06:46 > 0:06:49And back in the UK, the BBC sought the opinion of the one man

0:06:49 > 0:06:52truly qualified to speak on the subject.

0:06:52 > 0:06:54Dizzee Rascal, I mean,

0:06:54 > 0:06:56specifically could you see this happening in Britain?

0:06:56 > 0:06:58Yeah, in time.

0:06:59 > 0:07:02- You're rather positive. - Yeah, man, why not, man?

0:07:02 > 0:07:05First time for everything. Everything just takes time, man.

0:07:05 > 0:07:07If you believe you can achieve, innit?

0:07:07 > 0:07:09Why don't you run for office?

0:07:09 > 0:07:11See, that's a very good idea, I might have to do that one day.

0:07:11 > 0:07:16Still, Dizzee Rascal for Prime Minister, yeah? What's happening?

0:07:16 > 0:07:18Hey, Smithster!

0:07:18 > 0:07:21The year saw Gavin & Stacey at the peak of its popularity,

0:07:21 > 0:07:24with the show scooping awards across the board.

0:07:24 > 0:07:25Smith?

0:07:25 > 0:07:26- Hi, Matt Horne.- Hi.

0:07:26 > 0:07:30Matt Horne, if you don't know, is from the multi-award winning Gavin & Stacey.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32- How many awards did it win at the Comedy Awards?- Three.

0:07:32 > 0:07:34Three are very, very good.

0:07:34 > 0:07:38- Now, how many of those were for you personally.- None.- Ah.

0:07:38 > 0:07:40Matt Horne as you probably know is famous for doing a straight

0:07:40 > 0:07:45face and a slight sigh after Catherine Tate sketches. Er...

0:07:45 > 0:07:48No, it's sort of a despondent look that I've copied from Martin.

0:07:48 > 0:07:49Oh, go on.

0:07:52 > 0:07:55That's basically it. Martin's the master.

0:07:55 > 0:07:58Martin, why don't you show us your one?

0:07:58 > 0:08:01LAUGHTER

0:08:01 > 0:08:04I have an idea, what if you were both in a sitcom together?

0:08:04 > 0:08:07Just sighing at each other.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09You start, Matt. Go on.

0:08:13 > 0:08:16LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:08:21 > 0:08:23# Should I give up...? #

0:08:23 > 0:08:272008 saw Adele pick up the Critics' Choice Award at the BRITs

0:08:27 > 0:08:31as her debut album 19 went four times platinum.

0:08:31 > 0:08:34Buzzcocks was quick to get its hands on this exciting new talent

0:08:34 > 0:08:40and she soon showed us why she'd become one of the greatest voices of a generation.

0:08:40 > 0:08:42# Eh-eh, eh-eh-eh-eh

0:08:42 > 0:08:45# Eh-eh, eh-eh Eh-eh-eh-eh

0:08:45 > 0:08:47- # Dirty dog, dirty dog - Eh-eh, eh-eh-eh-eh.

0:08:47 > 0:08:50# Eh-eh, eh-eh-eh-eh. #

0:08:50 > 0:08:54What's happened to your lovely voice, Adele?

0:08:54 > 0:08:57- That's how it goes.- Come on, no... - You don't know what it is.

0:08:57 > 0:09:01- We can't do it.- You, it seems, don't really sing in real life.

0:09:01 > 0:09:02LAUGHTER

0:09:02 > 0:09:05- What happened?- You're like that Chinese kid at the Olympics...

0:09:05 > 0:09:08- I can't pretend I'm an instrument. - Who's the real Adele?

0:09:08 > 0:09:11- I don't know, who do you think?- Is it the same guy who did Milli Vanilli?

0:09:11 > 0:09:13LAUGHTER

0:09:13 > 0:09:17# Doo-doo-doo-doo Woo-woo-woo-woo... #

0:09:17 > 0:09:19That's a bit racist.

0:09:20 > 0:09:24# Dun-dun-dun-der-re-re-re-row

0:09:24 > 0:09:27# Dun-dun-der-re-re-re-row

0:09:27 > 0:09:30# Dun-dun-der-re-re-re-row. #

0:09:30 > 0:09:33I do know it. I know the band.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36- Who is it?- Girls Aloud?- Yes.

0:09:36 > 0:09:39I don't know the song. It's really pretty though, isn't it?

0:09:39 > 0:09:40As the case is often with songs,

0:09:40 > 0:09:44Mark Ronson has made that song better than it could ever be.

0:09:44 > 0:09:46# I can't speak French, so I let the funky music...#

0:09:46 > 0:09:49Yes, the answer was Girls Aloud, who prove that you don't need to

0:09:49 > 0:09:53speak French to have one of the hits of the year.

0:09:53 > 0:09:58# So I let the funky music do the talking, oh, oh, oh. #

0:09:58 > 0:10:00# I kissed a girl and I liked it... #

0:10:00 > 0:10:032008 also witnessed Katy Perry kiss a girl

0:10:03 > 0:10:07and get her first taste of number one success.

0:10:07 > 0:10:09# I kissed a girl, just to try it

0:10:09 > 0:10:12# I hope my boyfriend don't mind it. #

0:10:12 > 0:10:15# You've got me begging you for mercy... #

0:10:15 > 0:10:19And chart sensation Duffy denied being a novelty, retro act.

0:10:19 > 0:10:23Although, to be fair, Motown had only just arrived in Wales.

0:10:23 > 0:10:26Anyway, back to Adele to hear her thoughts

0:10:26 > 0:10:28on one of her main pop rivals.

0:10:28 > 0:10:31Tell us who you hate most out of Lily Allen, Kate Nash and Duffy?

0:10:31 > 0:10:35- Lily Allen, Kate Nash and Duffy? - Mm.- Erm...

0:10:35 > 0:10:39Why do you hate Duffy so much? Why is it? Is it you don't trust her?

0:10:39 > 0:10:42I don't hate Duffy but I'm Welsh as well

0:10:42 > 0:10:44and I wish people would know that.

0:10:44 > 0:10:47And also you feel in interviews she comes across as a bit fake, yeah?

0:10:47 > 0:10:49- Why are you doing this? - You think, what?

0:10:49 > 0:10:52- You think she's older than she's saying she is?- No, no, no.

0:10:52 > 0:10:54A lying bitch?

0:10:54 > 0:10:58- I love Lily Allen.- You like Lily Allen?- I love Lily Allen.

0:10:58 > 0:11:01Yeah, but you hate Duffy, now why would you hate Duffy so much?

0:11:01 > 0:11:02LAUGHTER

0:11:02 > 0:11:06- Mark Ronson, you've done so well and well done.- Thanks.

0:11:06 > 0:11:09Not in the show, I mean in your life. You've done really well, no?

0:11:09 > 0:11:11APPLAUSE

0:11:11 > 0:11:13And then, that sister of yours,

0:11:13 > 0:11:15all she had to do was get off with Lindsay Lohan

0:11:15 > 0:11:17and now she's more famous than you could ever be!

0:11:17 > 0:11:20LAUGHTER

0:11:20 > 0:11:24- Are you pissed off?- I think Lindsay Lohan is a really talented actress.

0:11:24 > 0:11:26What?

0:11:26 > 0:11:28LAUGHTER

0:11:28 > 0:11:30I think she's lovely but she's not an actress.

0:11:30 > 0:11:35Adele, how can you have a go at Sam Ronson's girlfriend like this?

0:11:35 > 0:11:37I like her but she's not an actress. I like her.

0:11:37 > 0:11:40But you know her career is "actress"?

0:11:40 > 0:11:43And singing, and she has a leggings company.

0:11:43 > 0:11:46A leggings company?! Well, we all love her leggings!

0:11:46 > 0:11:48- That's true. - How do you feel about this, Mark?

0:11:48 > 0:11:50Do you think you'll work with Adele again after this?

0:11:50 > 0:11:52I'm going to be in a lot of trouble when this comes out.

0:11:52 > 0:11:54I like Lindsay and I think her and Sam are great.

0:11:54 > 0:11:57If you found out Duffy was bisexual, would you hate her even more?

0:11:57 > 0:12:00I don't hate her anyway, you do! Ha-ha!

0:12:00 > 0:12:02LAUGHTER

0:12:02 > 0:12:06I'm really enjoying you now, Adele. You've turned into my Aunt Sybil.

0:12:10 > 0:12:12# When I grow up I wanna be famous... #

0:12:12 > 0:12:17Over the years, Buzzcocks has attracted guests from all over the world.

0:12:17 > 0:12:21And 2008 saw a deluge of A-listers from across the Atlantic.

0:12:22 > 0:12:26First up, bespectacled, meat-dodging megastar, Moby.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29- Moby, I looked on the internet. - Oh, I don't like where this is going.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31- Why not?- This is going to end wrong.

0:12:31 > 0:12:34I looked on the internet and for someone so successful,

0:12:34 > 0:12:38I was surprised to see a lot of bitterness towards Moby, a lot of player-haters.

0:12:38 > 0:12:41- Oh, people hate me.- Now why is that?

0:12:41 > 0:12:44I have no idea. I think it's because I'm annoying.

0:12:44 > 0:12:46LAUGHTER

0:12:46 > 0:12:49Like, something about me inspires great antipathy

0:12:49 > 0:12:52- and wrath in other people.- Yeah, I think people hate you and don't know why.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54In the same way that people love Dale Winton

0:12:54 > 0:12:59and it's a mystery why, what he's done!

0:12:59 > 0:13:05I have the hair of a 1970s Lego man. It doesn't move or anything.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08- It's just...- Can I say something?

0:13:08 > 0:13:12So, imagine we were doing this show and one of us, say, had no legs.

0:13:12 > 0:13:16And you were complaining about, say, your trousers.

0:13:16 > 0:13:18So, the person with no legs would be sitting over here, like,

0:13:18 > 0:13:21"I'm sorry you have bad trousers..."

0:13:21 > 0:13:23APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER

0:13:29 > 0:13:31You understand. You're complaining about your hair.

0:13:31 > 0:13:34God hates me and stole my hair.

0:13:35 > 0:13:38By the way, we have been asked to do a best of compilation show

0:13:38 > 0:13:41for next week and I don't know if we've got anything suitable.

0:13:41 > 0:13:44So I thought what we could do is we could create some moments

0:13:44 > 0:13:47tonight that look like they would be suitable for a "best of".

0:13:47 > 0:13:51If you could put that you could put that on, Moby, and do a funny face.

0:13:51 > 0:13:54- I got it.- And then a little dance or something?

0:13:54 > 0:13:58- A little dance? What sort of a dance? Here?- Like a little...

0:14:01 > 0:14:04- Stand up here?- There you go.

0:14:04 > 0:14:06CHEERING

0:14:18 > 0:14:21Yep, that's the sort of thing we needed, yep.

0:14:21 > 0:14:25Next big US star of '08, former Destiny's Child songstress Kelly Rowland.

0:14:25 > 0:14:28What about Kelly Rowland as a guest on the show tonight?

0:14:28 > 0:14:31- An actual, bloody celebrity!- I know! - It's all I've ever wanted.

0:14:33 > 0:14:35- You are famous.- No, no, no.

0:14:35 > 0:14:38I heard the ratings here are very high, that makes you famous.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40Oh, that's what they told you to get you here?

0:14:42 > 0:14:46No, they said this guy is really funny. He may take the...

0:14:46 > 0:14:49- Is it take the piss at you? - Oh, I've never done that.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54Or is it taking the piss?

0:14:54 > 0:14:56APPLAUSE

0:14:56 > 0:14:59- They said you were really cool. - Oh, that's good. Good.

0:14:59 > 0:15:04- Overall, you know.- So go on, so Beyonce, what happened to her?

0:15:04 > 0:15:07- She is back in New York City. - Why, can I ask?- What?

0:15:07 > 0:15:09I don't want to cause a rift between you,

0:15:09 > 0:15:11but why isn't she here supporting you?

0:15:11 > 0:15:14She knows how important quizzes are to you, right?

0:15:15 > 0:15:18Next time she's on Mock The Week, mm-mm-mm!

0:15:18 > 0:15:21You're looking very nipply, Kelly.

0:15:21 > 0:15:22LAUGHTER

0:15:25 > 0:15:28- You too, Phill, you too. Lovely.- Thank you.

0:15:28 > 0:15:31Nothing wrong with nipples. Stop judging the nipples!

0:15:31 > 0:15:33Go ahead, let's sing some songs.

0:15:33 > 0:15:39# Ba-da, ba-da, ba-da, ba-baaaaaa!

0:15:39 > 0:15:43- # Ba-da-bam - Be-be-be-be-be-be

0:15:43 > 0:15:45- # Ba-da-bam - Be-be-be-be-be

0:15:45 > 0:15:48- # Ba-da-bam - Be-be-be-be-be-be. #

0:15:48 > 0:15:51- OK, you have to get it by now!- Kelly, I feel you're not giving enough.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54If you do this well, you could launch yourself as a solo artist.

0:15:56 > 0:15:59This British humour, I'm still getting used to.

0:15:59 > 0:16:05And completing the American trilogy, Michael Ball wannabe, Josh Groban.

0:16:05 > 0:16:07- # Bm-tsh, bm-tsh - Niaw-niaw-niaw-niaw, yeah!

0:16:07 > 0:16:09# Niaw-niaw-niaw-niaw-niaw

0:16:09 > 0:16:12# Niaw-niaw-niaw-niaw-niaw

0:16:12 > 0:16:15# Niaw-niaw-niaw-niaw-niaw!

0:16:15 > 0:16:18# Dugu-dugu-dugu-dugu-dugu! #

0:16:18 > 0:16:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:16:25 > 0:16:28First of all, I'd like to say what a brilliant rendition that was.

0:16:28 > 0:16:30- That was absolutely fantastic. - Thank you.

0:16:30 > 0:16:32It was so good I am little bit embarrassed now,

0:16:32 > 0:16:35- I don't know what it was. - Do you want it again?- Don't we all?

0:16:35 > 0:16:37- Let's have it again.- Would you like it done in a different way?

0:16:37 > 0:16:39Please, reggae.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41LAUGHTER

0:16:41 > 0:16:43Reggae from Josh Groban and Omid.

0:16:43 > 0:16:44# Du-du-du-ts-ts

0:16:44 > 0:16:47# Du-du-du-ts-ts

0:16:47 > 0:16:49# Du-du-du-du-du-du, man!

0:16:49 > 0:16:50# Du-du-du-du-du-du... #

0:16:50 > 0:16:53APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER

0:16:53 > 0:16:55# Du-du-du-du

0:16:55 > 0:16:56# Du-nu-nu

0:16:56 > 0:16:58# Du-nu-nu, du-nu-nu

0:16:58 > 0:17:00# Du-nu-nu-nu-nu!

0:17:00 > 0:17:02# Du-du-du Pasta joint! #

0:17:02 > 0:17:04APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER

0:17:11 > 0:17:13Can we just carry on in different styles?

0:17:13 > 0:17:16What other genres can you do, Josh?

0:17:16 > 0:17:19- We could do a calypso-jazz scat version? MARTIN:- Please.

0:17:19 > 0:17:21# Ba-pa-ts ba-pa-ts

0:17:21 > 0:17:23# Ga-ga-ga-ga-goo-goo Ga-ga-ga-ga-goo-goo

0:17:23 > 0:17:26# Squee-da-ba Dwee-da-ba-doo-doo

0:17:26 > 0:17:29# Da-da-da-da-da-da

0:17:29 > 0:17:31# Da-da-da-da-da-da

0:17:31 > 0:17:34# Scoobady-scoobady-scooooooo! #

0:17:34 > 0:17:37CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:17:39 > 0:17:41I'm afraid I really don't know, and it was brilliant

0:17:41 > 0:17:44- and I still don't know.- I'm going to have to tell you what it was.

0:17:44 > 0:17:46It was The Libertines with Don't Look Back Into The Sun.

0:17:46 > 0:17:49All I'm asking is that you look into camera five now

0:17:49 > 0:17:54and say to sons thinking about buying their mothers Josh Groban albums,

0:17:54 > 0:17:56say, "Don't do it, just talk to your mother

0:17:56 > 0:17:59"and let her know that you're a good person too."

0:18:00 > 0:18:03Sons and daughters of England...

0:18:05 > 0:18:07..I urge you not to purchase my record.

0:18:09 > 0:18:12Do something nice, make a card, buy a puppy for her.

0:18:12 > 0:18:14LAUGHTER

0:18:14 > 0:18:17Chocolates. There are really so many things that you can do

0:18:17 > 0:18:20to make your mother happy than buy a Josh Groban CD.

0:18:20 > 0:18:24So please, from Josh Groban, stay away.

0:18:24 > 0:18:26APPLAUSE AND LAUGHTER

0:18:32 > 0:18:36Only a handful of people can be considered Buzzcocks royalty.

0:18:36 > 0:18:39The most recent addition to the family is Noel Fielding,

0:18:39 > 0:18:42a team captain who possessed a meandering mind,

0:18:42 > 0:18:46a winning smile and a truly unique fashion sense.

0:18:46 > 0:18:49I'm just looking forward to showing off my cape.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51I look like your mad auntie.

0:18:51 > 0:18:53I look like I should be riding ET around in a basket.

0:18:55 > 0:18:58Never in my life have I looked more like a paedophile.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01LAUGHTER

0:19:01 > 0:19:04Here are five fascinating facts about Noel.

0:19:04 > 0:19:09One, he isn't afraid to seek answers to some of life's big questions.

0:19:09 > 0:19:13A metal detector is made out of metal. That's always confused me.

0:19:13 > 0:19:15- Good point. - They just detect themselves?

0:19:15 > 0:19:18Yeah, they just beep, they're constantly beeping.

0:19:18 > 0:19:20- MIMICS MACHINE BEEPING - "Me again.

0:19:20 > 0:19:23"That was me, sorry!

0:19:23 > 0:19:26"I can't help it, I'm mainly metal."

0:19:28 > 0:19:32Two, Noel can give as good as he gets.

0:19:32 > 0:19:37Is there anything you banned from the Boosh tour? Jokes or...?

0:19:37 > 0:19:39LAUGHTER

0:19:46 > 0:19:47Catchphrases.

0:19:47 > 0:19:49LAUGHTER

0:19:55 > 0:19:58Three, Noel's got a hidden talent up his sleeve.

0:19:58 > 0:20:02We could actually do an act where you are my ventriloquist dummy.

0:20:02 > 0:20:04Come on, sit here.

0:20:05 > 0:20:07OK.

0:20:12 > 0:20:14You've got to speak, you fucking idiot!

0:20:14 > 0:20:18Oh, I thought you were a genuine ventriloquist. I see!

0:20:18 > 0:20:21Where do you think my hand is?

0:20:21 > 0:20:24What you're saying is, I just speak and you just sit there.

0:20:24 > 0:20:27Well, that's the benefit of having a real person

0:20:27 > 0:20:31instead of having a puppet. Right, after three...

0:20:31 > 0:20:33I don't think it's number five.

0:20:33 > 0:20:36She doesn't seem very interested in the proceedings

0:20:36 > 0:20:40and she was just looking away into the distance.

0:20:40 > 0:20:43Thinking about a former lover from many years ago.

0:20:45 > 0:20:48Four, showbiz anecdotes, Noel's got a few.

0:20:48 > 0:20:51This is a true story, I'm going to namedrop like an idiot now,

0:20:51 > 0:20:53but Bono actually rang me up once, right?

0:20:53 > 0:20:56I don't know how he got my number, and I stupidly,

0:20:56 > 0:20:59obviously thought it was one of my mates mucking about.

0:20:59 > 0:21:03So I was like, "Yeah, whatever." I went... And basically, it was him.

0:21:03 > 0:21:07I went to him, "That's not even a good Irish accent, you dick!"

0:21:07 > 0:21:09LAUGHTER

0:21:10 > 0:21:14And five, Noel has a secret identity.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16I'm Mouse-cat.

0:21:16 > 0:21:18Mouse-cat, he chases himself!

0:21:18 > 0:21:20LAUGHTER

0:21:20 > 0:21:24Mouse-cat, he's awkward in social situations.

0:21:24 > 0:21:26Mouse-cat, he's looking at stuff and saying it aloud.

0:21:26 > 0:21:29Looking up there and he noticed he's stopped,

0:21:29 > 0:21:32there goes a red bus just driving by and a load went off at the same time.

0:21:32 > 0:21:35Here comes Mouse-cat, he's got his dungarees on, they're his favourite ones,

0:21:35 > 0:21:39not his work ones, the ones he wears out for social occasions.

0:21:39 > 0:21:42How come when men do the washing up, they always leave one

0:21:42 > 0:21:46thing at the end? Just noticing stuff, Mouse-cat.

0:21:46 > 0:21:49Noticing stuff from his own life, Mouse-cat.

0:21:49 > 0:21:51- His life's like...- One!

0:21:53 > 0:21:55LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

0:22:01 > 0:22:03# One love, for the mother's pride

0:22:03 > 0:22:05# One love... #

0:22:05 > 0:22:08After sales of over 30 million records worldwide,

0:22:08 > 0:22:12boyband Blue sadly split in 2005.

0:22:12 > 0:22:16But by 2008, things were starting to look up.

0:22:16 > 0:22:19Simon Webb finally succeeded in begging ITV bosses,

0:22:19 > 0:22:22"I'm a celebrity, get me into I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here!"

0:22:22 > 0:22:26- Ahhh, you- BLEEP!- Did it get you?

0:22:26 > 0:22:28While Duncan James was adding reading

0:22:28 > 0:22:31and looking to his already impressive skillset.

0:22:31 > 0:22:34We have news of another lucky "Locko" winner.

0:22:34 > 0:22:35# I fought my heart, girl... #

0:22:35 > 0:22:40But it was Antony and Lee who really hit the big-time in '08 as both

0:22:40 > 0:22:43made unforgettable appearances on Buzzcocks.

0:22:43 > 0:22:46Let's start with the thinking man's Dane Bowers,

0:22:46 > 0:22:49and Simon Amstell's personal favourite, Antony Costa.

0:22:49 > 0:22:52- Antony, it is lovely to have you here.- Thanks, Si.

0:22:52 > 0:22:54- I'm a big fan of Blue. - No, you're not.

0:22:56 > 0:22:59I tried my best, I had a good go there.

0:22:59 > 0:23:02I think tonight it'll be good to set the record straight

0:23:02 > 0:23:03- on Antony's part in the band...- Yes.

0:23:03 > 0:23:08It was generally assumed in the past that Lee and Simon were the talent

0:23:08 > 0:23:12and Duncan was quite good-looking, and Antony had a PlayStation.

0:23:12 > 0:23:15LAUGHTER

0:23:15 > 0:23:18- You're my favourite.- No, I'm not.

0:23:18 > 0:23:20It was always Lee, Si.

0:23:20 > 0:23:23No, I don't think I liked any of you.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25- LAUGHTER - Exactly!

0:23:25 > 0:23:27No, no, no.

0:23:27 > 0:23:30MUSIC: "Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I'm Yours" by Blue, ft Stevie Wonder

0:23:30 > 0:23:32# Here I am, baby! #

0:23:34 > 0:23:37It looks like he's thinking, "These extras are getting a bit close."

0:23:37 > 0:23:40I can imagine Stevie was thinking, "I've always liked this song

0:23:40 > 0:23:42"but there's always been something missing.

0:23:42 > 0:23:45"A boyband pretending to be my friend, I think is what..."

0:23:45 > 0:23:47LAUGHTER

0:23:48 > 0:23:52So he liked the music of Blue, why wouldn't he? Of course he did.

0:23:52 > 0:23:54- Like a sort of a guide band.- Yeah.

0:23:58 > 0:24:00I'm sure he must get sick of people coming up to him

0:24:00 > 0:24:02and saying, "Didn't you do that song with Blue?"

0:24:02 > 0:24:03LAUGHTER

0:24:05 > 0:24:07"Are you that bloke out of Blue?"

0:24:07 > 0:24:09LAUGHTER

0:24:13 > 0:24:15By the way, I have some news.

0:24:15 > 0:24:17Antony Costa...

0:24:17 > 0:24:19is doing a UK tour this year.

0:24:19 > 0:24:22I've got the press release.

0:24:22 > 0:24:25"An evening with Antony Costa will include

0:24:25 > 0:24:29"songs from Blue, Blood Brothers and a medley of '60s Motown.

0:24:29 > 0:24:33"The show will also include..." This is the exciting bit.

0:24:33 > 0:24:36"..a question and answer session from the audience."

0:24:36 > 0:24:39It's now time for Q and A, with Antony Costa.

0:24:51 > 0:24:54Has anyone on the panel got any questions for Antony?

0:24:54 > 0:25:00- I've got one, Simon. Antony, what's your favourite cheese?- Brie.

0:25:00 > 0:25:04- Thank you, Antony.- OK, that's the end of Q and A with Antony Costa.

0:25:04 > 0:25:06LAUGHTER

0:25:08 > 0:25:12- You're so out of order.- What do you mean, out of order?- You are.

0:25:12 > 0:25:15I just promoted your fucking tour!

0:25:15 > 0:25:17Fair play, fair play.

0:25:17 > 0:25:20# If it's wrong to do what's right

0:25:20 > 0:25:23# I'm prepared to testify... #

0:25:23 > 0:25:26Next up, Blue's answer to Martin Luther King.

0:25:26 > 0:25:30The band's inspirational leader and spokesman, Mr Lee Ryan.

0:25:32 > 0:25:34- It's all about the look, isn't it? - Yeah, right.- Teach me...

0:25:34 > 0:25:37- Start with the point.- Right.

0:25:37 > 0:25:40You've got to do it with the down look, and then point.

0:25:40 > 0:25:43- You look down, then up, and then point?- Do it, do it.

0:25:43 > 0:25:45LAUGHTER

0:25:45 > 0:25:47- Lee, you're holding back on us. - I'm not.

0:25:47 > 0:25:50Are you trying to tell me that you're not the man who gave us this?

0:25:50 > 0:25:57HE MIMES TO BACKING TRACK # Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! #

0:25:57 > 0:25:59Do the point, do the point!

0:25:59 > 0:26:01Oh, you missed the "YEAH!"

0:26:01 > 0:26:05Am I right in thinking all the Blue boys have had babies?

0:26:05 > 0:26:07- You're the last one to have a baby? - Mm-hm.

0:26:07 > 0:26:10And they all left the mothers of their children, right?

0:26:10 > 0:26:12LAUGHTER

0:26:15 > 0:26:18You're staying with yours though, right?

0:26:18 > 0:26:20Oi, oi, oi, watch it, I'll slap ya!

0:26:20 > 0:26:24Don't, slap the others for leaving those mothers!

0:26:24 > 0:26:27Lee, Blue haven't ruled out a reunion, have they?

0:26:27 > 0:26:31Er, I'm under contract not to say anything.

0:26:31 > 0:26:32You're not under contract to do anything.

0:26:32 > 0:26:34LAUGHTER

0:26:37 > 0:26:39Oh, I love you.

0:26:39 > 0:26:41- We can't rule out a Blue reunion tonight?- Tonight?

0:26:41 > 0:26:43No, I'm doing other stuff. I've got plenty of other things.

0:26:43 > 0:26:45Course, would Duncan do it?

0:26:45 > 0:26:48Or is he too busy oranging up his face for ITV?

0:26:48 > 0:26:51What a vain, preening little shit he is, no?

0:26:53 > 0:26:56You know Lee is now an actor, of course.

0:26:56 > 0:26:59LAUGHTER

0:26:59 > 0:27:01- The latest film is called The Heavy.- The Heavy, yeah.

0:27:01 > 0:27:05- When's it coming out?- It's coming out in the first quarter of the year.

0:27:05 > 0:27:08You're being quite vague about the date, but it will definitely come out?

0:27:08 > 0:27:10LAUGHTER Yeah, yeah.

0:27:10 > 0:27:12It's going to come out. Eventually.

0:27:12 > 0:27:14And in an actual...

0:27:14 > 0:27:16- In a cinema?- Yeah, in a cinema.

0:27:16 > 0:27:20Let's just be clear to people, we don't want people to be disappointed if they go to the cinema.

0:27:20 > 0:27:22Is it just going to be on DVD?

0:27:22 > 0:27:24LAUGHTER

0:27:27 > 0:27:31- DVD's fine.- Even if it's just on the TV, it's still a film.

0:27:31 > 0:27:33Or even if, worst case scenario,

0:27:33 > 0:27:37you go around to the director's house and you all watch it together with popcorn. It's still...

0:27:37 > 0:27:41You've still made a film and you've still had the camera on you!

0:27:41 > 0:27:44It's a wonderful achievement, and now Lee has made a film

0:27:44 > 0:27:47specifically for the internet, and we're very pleased.

0:27:48 > 0:27:51We're very pleased. It's definitely a film and it's not...

0:27:51 > 0:27:53It's not a text message, is it?

0:28:01 > 0:28:06So that's that. 2008 on a Buzzcocks plate,

0:28:06 > 0:28:10and there's just time to wrap things up with a quick game of What Is My Name?

0:28:10 > 0:28:12They call her Kate Nash,

0:28:12 > 0:28:14that's Germaine Greer,

0:28:14 > 0:28:17Hollywood's Dominic Cooper and TV's Matthew Wright.

0:28:17 > 0:28:21They call him Grimmy, The Klaxons' Jamie Reynolds,

0:28:21 > 0:28:24comedian David O'Doherty and Skins star Mitch Hewer.

0:28:24 > 0:28:27They call him funny man, Tony Law, Feeder's Grant Nicholas,

0:28:27 > 0:28:32Mette Lindberg from The Asteroids Galaxy Tour, and that was Mouse-cat.

0:28:32 > 0:28:37They call me Alex James. That was 2008, What A Load Of Buzzcocks.

0:28:37 > 0:28:40# Yo-o-ou

0:28:42 > 0:28:46# Your sex is on fire

0:28:50 > 0:28:52# Consumed

0:28:54 > 0:28:58# With what's to transpire... #

0:28:59 > 0:29:03Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd