0:00:02 > 0:00:03# What happened to you?
0:00:03 > 0:00:06# Whatever happened to me?
0:00:08 > 0:00:11# What became of the people
0:00:11 > 0:00:14# We used to be?
0:00:15 > 0:00:17# Tomorrow's almost over
0:00:17 > 0:00:21# The day went by so fast
0:00:21 > 0:00:26# Is the only thing to look forward to
0:00:26 > 0:00:28# The past? #
0:00:37 > 0:00:38Morning.
0:00:47 > 0:00:50Did Thelma explain about last night?
0:00:52 > 0:00:56It was all an accident. Don't sit there in a huff.
0:00:58 > 0:01:01- What DID she say? - I'm not talking to you!
0:01:01 > 0:01:08- You may as well. There's a broken collarbone in now, then this gentleman.- I won't be long.
0:01:08 > 0:01:13It might be worse than you think. You don't look too good to me.
0:01:13 > 0:01:16I'm here for the wife's prescription.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Well, it could still take an age.
0:01:21 > 0:01:26Talking to me is better than a 1967 copy of Autocar. Did she explain?
0:01:26 > 0:01:33- Thelma's not speaking. She's having a nervous breakdown. - Oh? I'll have a hernia, then.
0:01:33 > 0:01:38- Fancy making up a four for solo? - If it wasn't for this I'd hit you.
0:01:38 > 0:01:46- I'd hit you back.- I offered you my house because I felt sorry for you. I even brought you some breakfast.
0:01:46 > 0:01:51I get you big, brown, organic eggs, and you're in bed with my fiancee!
0:01:51 > 0:01:55- Do you deny it? - It's obvious what happened!
0:01:55 > 0:02:00Thelma came to stay, saw me asleep and thought I was you.
0:02:00 > 0:02:05She didn't want to wake you up, so she got in and fell asleep herself.
0:02:05 > 0:02:10And I'd lost two stone. Where? At the Turkish bath?
0:02:10 > 0:02:11BUZZER
0:02:11 > 0:02:14I am the last person that...
0:02:19 > 0:02:24I am the last person in the world Thelma wants to...cuddle up to.
0:02:24 > 0:02:32She's having a breakdown, not cos you found out she was in bed with me, but because SHE found out.
0:02:33 > 0:02:37- Aren't I right?- I don't know. - I swear, hope to die.
0:02:37 > 0:02:42- And nothing happened? - Not so much as a nudge.
0:02:43 > 0:02:48- How's the hand?- The finger's broken. - Not if you can wiggle it like that!
0:02:48 > 0:02:53- It's very sore!- So's mine! You should get your hatch seen to.
0:02:53 > 0:02:58Mind you, the main reason I'm here is to get some malaria pills.
0:02:59 > 0:03:05- You can't have malaria. - From the services! I was two years in the Med.
0:03:05 > 0:03:09You'd have got webbed feet, not malaria!
0:03:10 > 0:03:14She's not really having a nervous breakdown, is she?
0:03:14 > 0:03:19She's very upset. I'll have to go round and make it up - again!
0:03:19 > 0:03:25- Women are funny. If it's not one thing, it's the other.- Usually the other!
0:03:25 > 0:03:28It all happened since you got back.
0:03:28 > 0:03:35- I'll go away! I'll emigrate! - It's not you, mate, really. - I'm glad you appreciate that!
0:03:35 > 0:03:39I can see her point. You DO represent a threat.
0:03:39 > 0:03:43You're the past. You're what we used to be.
0:03:43 > 0:03:47We were lads, knocking it back and putting it about.
0:03:47 > 0:03:52- Can't she see that's all over? - She's got to be MADE to.
0:03:52 > 0:03:56She must realise you're no longer my bosom companion.
0:03:56 > 0:04:04She's my partner now, the one I'm working for, building a future for, and giving up all my spare time for.
0:04:08 > 0:04:14- Except Fridays, of course. - Well, yes, except Fridays. That's always been lads' night.
0:04:14 > 0:04:19- And Tuesday's darts match? - Tuesday is darts, isn't it?
0:04:19 > 0:04:27- And midweek football?- Obviously, we'll go to that together, but she has the rest, except Sunday lunch.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32And that isn't enough! Dear me!
0:04:32 > 0:04:35- They're so demanding.- Aye, well. - BUZZER
0:04:36 > 0:04:39You do believe me about last night?
0:04:39 > 0:04:44- Sure.- How about a swift half later, seeing as she's having a breakdown?
0:04:44 > 0:04:46- You're on.- Shake?- Shake.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52It's a game though, isn't it?
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Don't tell me - I've seen it all.
0:04:55 > 0:04:59- It's all such a drama. - It was in MY marriage. Cheers!
0:04:59 > 0:05:06- We never understood each other, her being German and me English. - Couldn't she speak English?
0:05:06 > 0:05:12She could say "What time will you be back?" and "Give us some more money."
0:05:12 > 0:05:19Thelma gets hysterical. It's female insecurity, like when I broke it off last year.
0:05:19 > 0:05:23You mean again, after the first time?
0:05:23 > 0:05:30- And there was one in between! - You can hardly blame her for female insecurity! Poor cow!
0:05:30 > 0:05:36Er, poor lass. She won't know WHERE she is - now you see it, now you don't!
0:05:36 > 0:05:39She must feel like Pavlov's dog.
0:05:40 > 0:05:45- What?- Pavlov's dog - they rang a bell and took its dinner away.
0:05:45 > 0:05:48I thought Pavlov was a ballerina.
0:05:51 > 0:05:56Maybe, but she had a dog who didn't know if he was coming or going.
0:05:56 > 0:06:00We're not that bad. Every couple has ups and downs.
0:06:00 > 0:06:05It's just that people have to be sure in their own minds.
0:06:05 > 0:06:08Why did you break it off last time?
0:06:08 > 0:06:12- Irreconcilable differences. - How come it's on again?
0:06:12 > 0:06:15We came up on the housing list.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19Ah, Bob, Bob, please!
0:06:19 > 0:06:25Look, I've got no axe to grind, but that's no basis for marriage, is it?
0:06:25 > 0:06:30Loving someone, needing them, putting them up the stick - fine!
0:06:30 > 0:06:36But don't get married because a man from the council says your number's up!
0:06:36 > 0:06:41That was the past! There are no doubts now, no uncertainties.
0:06:41 > 0:06:49- I see. So that little ring, after its many journeys up and down her digit, is now firmly in place.- Yes.
0:06:49 > 0:06:55- The banns are read tomorrow, and the invitations are done. - So that's it!
0:06:55 > 0:07:02With the announcement in the Echo it's a big investment. Can't waste that.
0:07:02 > 0:07:07Look, I'm well aware of the dangers of marrying for the wrong reasons.
0:07:07 > 0:07:13Some men marry so they're not spare at the Football Club Xmas Eve dance.
0:07:13 > 0:07:19Thelma and I are being mature. We haven't panicked into rushing things.
0:07:19 > 0:07:24True. Nineteen years and three engagements is hardly impetuous.
0:07:24 > 0:07:27- It's not that long.- It is!
0:07:27 > 0:07:31I remember the first day, clearly - Park Juniors, 4B.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34It was me that got you together, indirectly.
0:07:34 > 0:07:37Old Hayward wanted to split us up.
0:07:37 > 0:07:43He had a re-shuffle, and put her by you. I lost my place at the radiator.
0:07:43 > 0:07:47And we've been re-shuffling ever since.
0:07:47 > 0:07:55You've always been up and down with her. You were always rowing. I remember the first row.
0:07:55 > 0:08:00She had some plasticine in a little tin, and one day it disappeared.
0:08:00 > 0:08:07You denied stealing it, but she didn't believe you, and trundled her desk right back.
0:08:07 > 0:08:11- How can you remember? - It was me that stole her plasticine.
0:08:11 > 0:08:15You've been coming between us ever since.
0:08:15 > 0:08:20You spread a rumour of her going on the allotment with Frank Cheavers.
0:08:20 > 0:08:27You told me her brother was in borstal, and that her mum was in the loony bin.
0:08:27 > 0:08:34- You've stolen her plasticine for 19 years, metaphorically.- You can tell your fiancee went to grammar school.
0:08:34 > 0:08:42When she went to grammar school and we went to the blackboard jungle, I became her social inferior.
0:08:42 > 0:08:46- We were everybody's social inferior. - I used to watch her...
0:08:46 > 0:08:54through the railings, skipping, her blouse tucked into her thick navy blue knickers.
0:08:56 > 0:09:01As Paul Anka put it at the time, "So near and yet so far away."
0:09:01 > 0:09:04- Billy Fury.- Paul Anka.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07It was Billy Fury!
0:09:07 > 0:09:12- Paul Anka. A quid on it!- You're on. Halfway To Paradise - Billy Fury.
0:09:12 > 0:09:18- "I wanna be your lover, but your friend is all I'll stay." - What's it mean?
0:09:18 > 0:09:23I want to be your lover, but you'll only let me be your friend!
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Hey, you two fairies - out!
0:09:30 > 0:09:37- Hello, Audrey.- Hello, Bob. It IS nice to see you! Wipe your feet, Terry.
0:09:37 > 0:09:42I got the invitation. I'll RSVP as soon as I get a minute.
0:09:42 > 0:09:48When I get this bandage off, I'll punch that feller. I learned some tricks in the army.
0:09:48 > 0:09:53- How do you feel about the big day? Nervous?- Not really, n-no.
0:09:53 > 0:09:58He's terrified. He's got cold feet. In his case - cold, flat feet.
0:09:58 > 0:10:03- I'm looking forward to it, thanks. - Has he been stirring?
0:10:03 > 0:10:09- He hasn't helped.- Don't listen! - I know what it's about. I went through it all.
0:10:09 > 0:10:15I've been married five years and have two kids and a bad back to prove it.
0:10:15 > 0:10:20Marriage isn't a breakfast food commercial. You work at it.
0:10:20 > 0:10:23I tried. God knows I tried.
0:10:23 > 0:10:29He did nothing to save his marriage. It was madness in the first place.
0:10:29 > 0:10:34But Bob will make a lovely husband and a smashing father.
0:10:34 > 0:10:41- If only we'd had children.- Don't let him tell you how he suffered. Oh, the heartbreak and the anguish!
0:10:41 > 0:10:46Get him to tell you how it failed, to give you an idea of the anguish.
0:10:46 > 0:10:51That hurts, more than you will ever know - that hurts!
0:10:52 > 0:10:55He only told me about it yesterday.
0:10:55 > 0:10:58Audrey, did you ever meet his wife?
0:10:58 > 0:11:02- Once.- What was she like?- Well...
0:11:02 > 0:11:08- She was a very...physical girl. - You mean there was a lot of her?
0:11:08 > 0:11:13Well, not so much, but what there was, one was made very aware of.
0:11:13 > 0:11:18Terry always did like bigger girls. He always was a breast man.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22As opposed to a leg or thigh man.
0:11:22 > 0:11:27- What sort of a man are you, Bob? - I think the face counts.
0:11:27 > 0:11:31And manners are important. Yes, the face and manners.
0:11:31 > 0:11:33- And sensitivity and deportment.- Mmm.
0:11:35 > 0:11:42- I like big knockers and all! - You're all the same. Your loins rule your head.
0:11:42 > 0:11:46It's important, the physical side. I wouldn't marry Thelma if...
0:11:46 > 0:11:51If... If we didn't... If we couldn't...
0:11:51 > 0:11:54If we weren't attracted to each other.
0:11:54 > 0:11:59- You've had plenty of time to find out.- We have...- Yes?- ..found out.
0:11:59 > 0:12:04- That's why it took ages to do your new house.- It had two undercoats!
0:12:04 > 0:12:07And an overcoat and two pillows!
0:12:07 > 0:12:12And a lot of nerve - the plasterers were in the kitchen!
0:12:12 > 0:12:16- You'll be OK, you and Thelma. - We're always having rows.
0:12:16 > 0:12:22Marriage means rows, with breaks to get your breath back. You'll manage.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25- You're happy, aren't you? - I suppose so.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28We don't row so much now I do yoga.
0:12:28 > 0:12:30If Ernie picks a fight with me now,
0:12:30 > 0:12:35I sit in the lotus position smiling serenely. It drives him mad.
0:12:36 > 0:12:38Ta.
0:12:48 > 0:12:52- Terry?- What? - How did your marriage end?
0:12:52 > 0:12:58- Irreconcilable differences. - Was it having rows, or another feller, or what?
0:12:58 > 0:13:01What was the last straw?
0:13:03 > 0:13:06It built to a climax in June 1970.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11June 14th it was, 9.30 local time.
0:13:12 > 0:13:17I had a weekend pass, so I spent the weekend with her family.
0:13:17 > 0:13:22They were all there - her mother, father, uncles and brothers -
0:13:22 > 0:13:27all watching telly after dinner, full of veal, sauerkraut and beer.
0:13:29 > 0:13:36Then it happened. The thing that snapped the thread of our chance of happiness together.
0:13:36 > 0:13:43- What happened? - What happened?! On June 14th 1970?!
0:13:43 > 0:13:48I thought that date was imprinted on every true Englishman's mind!
0:13:48 > 0:13:52England two, West Germany three! That's what happened!
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Aye, of course!
0:13:57 > 0:14:05Do you know what it was like to be in Germany that night, after being two up? I was out of my mind.
0:14:05 > 0:14:09I was on the sideboard singing Rule Britannia.
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Then the shame!
0:14:11 > 0:14:14The humiliation!
0:14:14 > 0:14:19They all leapt up and down, their eyes glazed with national fervour.
0:14:19 > 0:14:23I thought they were going to invade Poland again.
0:14:23 > 0:14:28- Don't! I only just learned to live with it myself.- Imagine how I felt.
0:14:28 > 0:14:32I just got up and went, quite unnoticed.
0:14:32 > 0:14:35I got my bag.
0:14:35 > 0:14:41- Then I walked away forever. - It was bad enough here. I can't say I blame you.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44I had to go to bed and lie down...
0:14:44 > 0:14:46for two weeks.
0:14:46 > 0:14:51- So that was that.- It takes a while to get over something like that.
0:14:51 > 0:14:58- Of course. - You can't just shrug it off. - Back to square one and start again.
0:14:58 > 0:15:00- Pick up the pieces.- Start afresh.
0:15:00 > 0:15:06- Mind you, I think Chivers has made a difference.- Oh, aye.
0:15:07 > 0:15:11Do you want me to come over? Well, it's up to you.
0:15:11 > 0:15:15I didn't say that! Do YOU want me to come over?
0:15:16 > 0:15:17Oh.
0:15:17 > 0:15:20You don't want me to come over?
0:15:20 > 0:15:23I do, I do, that's why I offered to.
0:15:23 > 0:15:30- God preserve us! - I only...I only said that in case you didn't want me to.
0:15:30 > 0:15:34But I want to. That's why I offered to.
0:15:35 > 0:15:40I didn't come in case you didn't want to see me, or were lying down,
0:15:40 > 0:15:43or having one of your MIGRAINES.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46I didn't say ONE of your migraines.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48I said one of your MIGRAINES.
0:15:48 > 0:15:52- #- Love is a many-splendoured thing.- # - Oh, be quiet!
0:15:52 > 0:15:55No, no, I'm not with Terry, sweet.
0:15:55 > 0:15:59- TERRY SINGS ON - It's the wireless. I'm at Audrey's.
0:16:01 > 0:16:05She can't talk. She's in the lotus position.
0:16:05 > 0:16:10- #- Love is a way of giving...- # - I'll just turn the sound down, pet.
0:16:10 > 0:16:15- #- A reason for living...- # - Will you shut your stirring?
0:16:15 > 0:16:17That's better, Thelma.
0:16:17 > 0:16:21- Thelma? Oh...! - Has she rung off?- Yes.
0:16:21 > 0:16:28- Thanks to you, she's rung off! - Just as well - there's no end to conversations like that.
0:16:28 > 0:16:33- So, are you?- Am I what?- Going over. Are you going over?
0:16:33 > 0:16:39You're not going over because if you did, you might wish you hadn't.
0:16:39 > 0:16:43- Shut up, Terry. - I wish you'd come down from there.
0:16:43 > 0:16:49- You'll do yourself permanent damage with this yoga. - Is she still upset, Bob?
0:16:49 > 0:16:52Mmm. She doesn't want me to go over.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54AH!
0:16:54 > 0:17:02- She stopped work on my cardigan. - Oh, downed needles, has she?- Terry! - It was a fawn one for weekends.
0:17:02 > 0:17:08- I hate men who wear cardigans. - Like your father and uncles - they wear them.
0:17:08 > 0:17:14No, not that sort - the sort Thelma will knit you, with wiggly, chunky wool,
0:17:14 > 0:17:20and beige and fawn, and rugby clubs, and Sunday drinks and barbecues,
0:17:20 > 0:17:24and gin and tonics, and Crosse and Blackwell.
0:17:24 > 0:17:28He's an angry young man, years out of date, like his hair and shoes!
0:17:28 > 0:17:35- What do you mean? - You're a knocker - Terry Collier, the alternative voice.
0:17:35 > 0:17:41He has no alternative. He's against everything, not just cardigans.
0:17:41 > 0:17:47I am against things that threaten my liberty. I don't want to be submerged.
0:17:47 > 0:17:55- I won't be suffocated by society, by conventions, by...- Marriage? That's what this is leading up to.
0:17:55 > 0:18:03- Pardon?- Blessed union, holy wedlock. This is a not very subtle attempt to kick me in the matrimonial groin.
0:18:03 > 0:18:09I'm just trying to warn very close friends about rushing into things
0:18:09 > 0:18:14which I learned, through bitter experience, to think twice about.
0:18:14 > 0:18:16I know all about holy wedlock.
0:18:16 > 0:18:24- Holy NECKlock! Do you submit?- Your marriage may have been played for points - mine will be full of joy.
0:18:24 > 0:18:29- Your marriage never worked. There's too much meanness in you.- Exactly.
0:18:29 > 0:18:35- And hostility.- Exactly.- No wonder it was ended by a Gerd Muller goal.
0:18:35 > 0:18:37I tried!
0:18:38 > 0:18:41- God knows I tried!- Oh!
0:18:43 > 0:18:47I shouldn't have said that. It was unkind.
0:18:47 > 0:18:52Don't fret. He's only gone to get the chocolate biscuits.
0:18:52 > 0:18:57I do worry, though, Audrey. Look at the friends we know who've split up.
0:18:57 > 0:19:02We all left school, had engagements and twenty-firsts together.
0:19:02 > 0:19:09Now everyone's separating. I get it together, and my contemporaries get it apart!
0:19:09 > 0:19:13- Don't count Terry. - I don't, I mean all sorts of people.
0:19:16 > 0:19:23- Even the Sandersons have split up. - Surprised they found the energy! They're as dull as a Welsh Sunday!
0:19:23 > 0:19:28- The divorce wasn't!- Frank ran off with an usherette from the Regal.
0:19:28 > 0:19:31He always carried a torch for her!
0:19:31 > 0:19:35I nearly left Ernie a few years ago, but I hadn't time!
0:19:35 > 0:19:42- Tony and Aud, Doug and Glenys. - What happened?- They went on a cruise together.- That finished it?
0:19:42 > 0:19:46Now it's Doug and Aud, Tony and Glenys.
0:19:46 > 0:19:53- And you're having your banns read, with all these warnings?- And I'm seeing Rev Gordon about the details.
0:19:53 > 0:19:56Gordon? The vicar's name is Newman!
0:19:56 > 0:19:59Didn't you hear? He left his wife.
0:20:00 > 0:20:04The vicar and all?! Is nothing sacred?
0:20:04 > 0:20:09It was in the paper. He ran off with a petrol attendant.
0:20:09 > 0:20:15He left his wife, kids, and 21 books of Green Shield stamps from his courtship.
0:20:15 > 0:20:18- Thanks for tea. - Good luck for tomorrow.
0:20:18 > 0:20:23- Aye, see you in church. - What? You're not coming, are you?
0:20:23 > 0:20:26I'll pop round. Hearing's believing.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29What for? You're up to something!
0:20:29 > 0:20:32You won't think of a just impediment?
0:20:32 > 0:20:37Just depends. Does Frank Cheavers on the allotment count?
0:20:37 > 0:20:42You cock things up and I'll smash you - bad hand or no bad hand!
0:20:42 > 0:20:45That's put the wind up his banns!
0:20:45 > 0:20:50- Can you remember the last time you were in church?- Aye, clearly!
0:20:50 > 0:20:54This feller was splashing water all over my head!
0:20:54 > 0:21:00- LAUGHTER DROWNS HER SPEECH - There's a reason I want to hear those banns.- What?
0:21:00 > 0:21:08- All the time I've known Bob, there's one thing he'd never tell me. Tomorrow I'll find out.- What?
0:21:08 > 0:21:15His middle name. I know it's Robert Andrew S Ferris, but I don't know what that S is for.
0:21:15 > 0:21:20- He'd never tell me, so it must be ludicrous.- I didn't know that!
0:21:20 > 0:21:27He hushed it up. On his satchel and pencil case, he'd only put RAF. He ALWAYS hushed that S up!
0:21:27 > 0:21:34- What can it be? - Something to do with the war - a battle, a general, or a film star.
0:21:36 > 0:21:38- S?- Mmm.
0:21:38 > 0:21:40S.
0:21:43 > 0:21:44S.
0:21:44 > 0:21:51Robert Andrew...Stalin Ferris? No, no, no - his dad wouldn't even join the union.
0:21:53 > 0:22:00Robert Andrew Sands-Of-Iwojima Ferris? No, he didn't even get overseas.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Robert Andrew Shirley Temple Ferris.
0:22:05 > 0:22:12VICAR: Grant that thy people, Lord, may avoid the contamination of the Devil,
0:22:12 > 0:22:17and with pure minds follow thee, our only God, through our Lord...
0:22:17 > 0:22:19(Bob.)
0:22:20 > 0:22:24- Bob.- What? - What's the matter?- Nothing.
0:22:24 > 0:22:26Nothing!
0:22:26 > 0:22:28Well, pray.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32We will now sing Hymn 160 -
0:22:32 > 0:22:36Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty.
0:22:42 > 0:22:47Hey. You're Collier's lad, aren't you? Young Terry, is it?
0:22:47 > 0:22:52- Not as young as I used to be. How are you?- Fine!
0:22:52 > 0:22:57- They say you're in t'services. - I was. Have they kicked off inside?
0:22:57 > 0:23:01- Half an hour ago. You're not going in though?- I am!
0:23:01 > 0:23:05Well, God moves in mysterious ways his wonders to perform!
0:23:05 > 0:23:13Listen to that. I remember that one. Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty - a hit in my day.
0:23:13 > 0:23:18- Did you hear about Reverend Newman? - Aye.- He loses his pension.
0:23:18 > 0:23:23- Yes, look, I don't want to miss the sermon.- There's a seat at t'back.
0:23:23 > 0:23:26- How's business?- Champion!- Bye, then.
0:23:26 > 0:23:29Who wants seats? Who wants seats?
0:23:30 > 0:23:35# God in three persons
0:23:35 > 0:23:42# Blessed Trinity! #
0:23:45 > 0:23:50# Amen. #
0:23:58 > 0:24:04On Tuesday, Sister Elizabeth Hayes is giving a talk on her work in Tehran
0:24:04 > 0:24:07with the Voluntary Service Overseas.
0:24:07 > 0:24:09On Saturday, it's our jumble sale.
0:24:09 > 0:24:15The church hall will be open all day Friday, for you to leave some jumble.
0:24:15 > 0:24:18And then, on Friday evening,
0:24:18 > 0:24:23Mrs Penchant will give a lecture on birds of the Farne Islands,
0:24:23 > 0:24:27followed by coffee and questions in the Scout hall.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29Quite a week!
0:24:29 > 0:24:37I publish banns of marriage between Judith Mary Caldicott, spinster of this parish,
0:24:37 > 0:24:43and David St John Pearce, bachelor of the parish of Christchurch, Purley,
0:24:43 > 0:24:50for the second time, and between Thelma Ingrid Chambers, spinster of this parish,
0:24:50 > 0:24:53and Robert Andrew Scarborough Ferris...
0:24:55 > 0:25:00..bachelor of the parish of St Mark's, for the first time of asking.
0:25:00 > 0:25:03If you know cause or just impediment...
0:25:03 > 0:25:05Scarborough!
0:25:12 > 0:25:13Morning.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19- Having the bandage off? - Yes.- Aye, me and all.
0:25:19 > 0:25:22The banns are read, countdown has begun.
0:25:22 > 0:25:28- Ten, nine, eight...- Very witty. - How's Thelma?- She won't speak to me.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32God preserve us! Now what?
0:25:32 > 0:25:40Now what?! You made that service in church yesterday a laughing stock. Thelma's never been so embarrassed.
0:25:40 > 0:25:44Don't blame me, mate. Blame your parents.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Why?
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Why Scarborough?
0:25:54 > 0:25:57That was where...
0:25:59 > 0:26:01That was where...
0:26:02 > 0:26:06They told me once that's where I was...
0:26:07 > 0:26:09..where I was...
0:26:10 > 0:26:12..conceived.
0:26:13 > 0:26:15Get away!
0:26:17 > 0:26:20They worked it out that precisely?
0:26:20 > 0:26:22Apparently!
0:26:22 > 0:26:26Did they only have it off on summer holidays, then?
0:26:27 > 0:26:33No, of course not. They lived there. My father was stationed there.
0:26:33 > 0:26:37They called me that out of...out of...sentiment.
0:26:37 > 0:26:42I see. Good job he wasn't stationed in Barrow-in-Furness!
0:26:43 > 0:26:48I never use it, so just forget it. Nobody knows about it.
0:26:48 > 0:26:53- Except the congregation!- They won't rush outside shouting it abroad.
0:26:53 > 0:26:56My lips are sealed, Robert Andrew.
0:26:56 > 0:26:57Good.
0:26:57 > 0:27:00So, are Thelma's lips still sealed?
0:27:00 > 0:27:06Will she break the angry silence, or just nod her head and use sign language?
0:27:06 > 0:27:13- We had a small row, nothing serious. - Nothing you won't get used to. - I'm going ahead, you know.
0:27:13 > 0:27:20I know! Don't tell ME! I knew in 4B. Your fate was sealed before the 11 plus!
0:27:20 > 0:27:25You've given me a chance to iron out any doubts. I'm grateful to you.
0:27:25 > 0:27:29You've given me a chance to re-examine, and I have.
0:27:29 > 0:27:34I've re-examined. I've re-appraised. And now I'm reassured.
0:27:34 > 0:27:39Good. Now is the time to doubt, not when she's racing up that aisle.
0:27:39 > 0:27:47- When the vicar says "Do you take this woman?", you can't say "Not necessarily."- My mind IS made up.
0:27:47 > 0:27:51- BUZZER - I had doubts, but it was cold feet.
0:27:51 > 0:27:56I know in my heart that Thelma is the girl for me.
0:27:56 > 0:28:00I know what and who I want. She's the one, always has been,
0:28:00 > 0:28:04always will be, of that I'm certain.
0:28:07 > 0:28:09I think.
0:28:41 > 0:28:44Intelfax Subtitles by Julia Watts for BBC Subtitling, 1995