0:00:21 > 0:00:29to look forward to the past? #
0:00:35 > 0:00:39All right! All right!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57Come along, pet. Bye, Terry.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12Howay! Back to the reception
0:01:21 > 0:01:27Get off all right, did they?
0:01:36 > 0:01:41Why would he need a manual? No practical experience.
0:01:41 > 0:01:47Oh, aye? Mind you, what you can learn from books...especially
0:01:53 > 0:01:59We found a slope - a slag heap off the A1. He was never off his back.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05to pick them up and dust them down.
0:02:05 > 0:02:09You take your duties as best man
0:02:09 > 0:02:14God knows how they'll get on -
0:02:25 > 0:02:30Don't be so nervous, pet. Unfasten your seat belt and smoke if you wish.
0:02:37 > 0:02:42Only a collision or pilot error
0:03:00 > 0:03:26I don't want to! When I fly
0:03:26 > 0:03:37When we plummet into the icy waves of the North Sea, you'll thank me.
0:03:37 > 0:03:41Safety's the big thing about flying
0:03:41 > 0:03:46You never see ads saying "Fly with us, we haven't crashed recently."
0:03:46 > 0:03:50They seduce you with the food and the stewardess' hemlines.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54It takes your mind off metal fatigue.
0:04:05 > 0:04:11Except for my secret hoard. 'Ey up! Get yourself a glass.
0:04:17 > 0:04:22Just reflecting on life and counting
0:04:30 > 0:04:35be next. Where is she, by the way?
0:04:35 > 0:04:40I was asking you. She'll be at the house with all the other relatives.
0:04:40 > 0:04:45They're a desperate lot, they are.
0:04:46 > 0:04:49Are you married? Separated.
0:04:49 > 0:04:52Aye, I remember. One of those things.
0:04:52 > 0:04:56Aye, marriage is a funny business...
0:04:56 > 0:04:59Nah, it's not funny at all!
0:04:59 > 0:05:05It beats being blind and crippled.
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Oh, Susan'll be back at the house.
0:05:25 > 0:05:30I thought I'd see if things were OK - with her being bridesmaid.
0:05:30 > 0:05:34I know what you thought, eh?
0:05:34 > 0:05:40You thought you'd go wheeling
0:05:40 > 0:05:45but he's in Toronto, isn't he?
0:05:45 > 0:05:50Ah, well, you might be lucky and catch her with her loyalties down.
0:05:50 > 0:05:54There's nothing like a wedding
0:05:54 > 0:05:59Look at these two here!
0:06:04 > 0:06:12Have a drop more. All right, then.
0:06:12 > 0:06:17Oh, aye! Absent friends. I thought you were talking about my relatives.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21They'll be at 30,000 feet now.
0:06:21 > 0:06:25He won't look out the window
0:07:05 > 0:07:11the Darby and Joan Club, you know?
0:07:11 > 0:07:16Did they get off all right, then?
0:07:16 > 0:07:21What will you do without him? I thought about going out with girls.
0:07:30 > 0:07:36or a meal or anything you like?
0:07:36 > 0:07:41I can't, honestly. I'd love to, but I've got to give my mam a hand.
0:07:41 > 0:07:47Maybe later? All right...not that there's anywhere to go...later.
0:07:50 > 0:07:56It's at your mother's but he said I could pick it up and use his house.
0:07:58 > 0:08:04or Thelma's new stair carpet.
0:08:04 > 0:08:07I've seen Thelma's new stair carpet.
0:08:10 > 0:08:15You've got all the patter. You've wasted it on Bob all these years.
0:08:23 > 0:08:27Thanks very much. Gut norte!
0:08:32 > 0:08:36I think he means "good night"
0:08:43 > 0:08:47You've only met him and the receptionist. He wasn't so clever.
0:08:50 > 0:08:54I said it clearly, "Nor go toden?"
0:08:59 > 0:09:09what time the train leaves. Well! Can't blame him for looking puzzled!
0:09:13 > 0:09:19Shouldn't you have carried me
0:09:19 > 0:09:24I still feel queasy from the flight. Did you pack the stomach powders?
0:09:24 > 0:09:31how to sweep a girl off her feet. I will do, when me tummy's settled.
0:09:31 > 0:09:41It's a nice room. There's lots of
0:09:44 > 0:10:14Westerns would be in English. Shall I wear my apres-ski tonight, even though we haven't yet?
0:10:14 > 0:10:20Girls in florists' and hairdressers' in those thin, blue nylon things,
0:10:20 > 0:10:25their dress off. I do like smocks.
0:10:27 > 0:10:32uniforms and bus conductresses.
0:10:32 > 0:10:35we saw a coloured meter maid.
0:10:35 > 0:10:40and his eyes glazed over with lust.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44Does he count a bridesmaid's dress
0:10:44 > 0:10:49He'll be fine there. Pardon?
0:10:49 > 0:10:54She was hardly indifferent. I thought it was on. What was on?
0:10:54 > 0:11:00On. A fella looks at a girl and
0:11:06 > 0:11:08Typical chauvinistic conceit.
0:11:08 > 0:11:12about Terry Collier and Susan.
0:11:12 > 0:11:16"Match of the Day" on our colour TV.
0:11:16 > 0:11:19How can he be watching our TV?
0:11:19 > 0:11:25Oh, I er...I left the key for him.
0:11:29 > 0:11:33and there are deliveries all week.
0:11:33 > 0:11:38He'll be abusing our king-size bed with a procession of uniformed women.
0:11:38 > 0:11:44I didn't want to leave the presents in these days of rising crime.
0:11:48 > 0:11:53It's just you and me here together,
0:12:02 > 0:12:07From my husband. Never mind apres-ski. How about before dinner?
0:12:10 > 0:12:15to make a call to Norway, please.
0:12:59 > 0:13:04Dad's relatives, and Aunt May's terrier getting suffocated.
0:13:04 > 0:13:22I didn't mean to sit on him.
0:13:22 > 0:13:24not to mention the missing goldfish.
0:13:24 > 0:13:30He'll turn up somewhere. Does he often go off on his own like that?
0:13:32 > 0:13:38I'll leave this room for tomorrow.
0:14:05 > 0:14:10No. I wanted to ask you something.
0:14:23 > 0:14:30Who's going to deliver stuff at this time of night? Someone might,
0:14:30 > 0:14:35I just recollect. Have a look in that jacket pocket over there.
0:14:41 > 0:14:43Half a smoked-salmon sandwich.
0:15:00 > 0:15:05He's green round the gills.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Nobody'll know. He was never active.
0:15:22 > 0:15:24PHONE RINGS
0:15:24 > 0:15:28I think that might be for me.
0:15:30 > 0:15:33Oh, no. Forget it, operator.
0:15:33 > 0:15:39Well, just say Mr Collier called and there's nothing to worry about.
0:15:48 > 0:15:54There was no other message, only that a Mr Collier rang
0:15:54 > 0:15:58Terry rings and says not to worry?
0:15:58 > 0:16:06It'll be a honeymoon gag. He'll be furious we weren't in bed. No.
0:16:06 > 0:16:24Our lovely new house. We've been through all that, Thelma.
0:16:24 > 0:16:29The house has probably been flooded by now, but not to worry.
0:16:29 > 0:16:44If something was seriously wrong,
0:16:44 > 0:16:53It wasn't sleep I had in mind.
0:16:53 > 0:16:56I had enough of that before dinner.
0:16:56 > 0:17:00You're going to be the sort of wife
0:17:03 > 0:17:10I thought on our honeymoon... I've got other things on my mind. Now is not the right time.
0:17:10 > 0:17:15The book said you shouldn't assume there's a right time and place.
0:17:15 > 0:17:22or we'll do it on the plane - take your mind off metal fatigue.
0:17:22 > 0:17:27You know fine and well that's not
0:17:32 > 0:17:36Oh, you're liberated, are you?
0:17:48 > 0:17:51And ear muffs and stomach powders.
0:17:51 > 0:17:56They're for the slopes. Where you want to make love tomorrow, no doubt.
0:18:03 > 0:18:06I'm afraid it's a bit unlived-in.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10It's like the Ideal Home Exhibition.
0:18:10 > 0:18:15You don't want to crease the seats. They're there to be sat on.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19There's some more presents -
0:18:19 > 0:18:23Would you like a drink, Susan?
0:18:34 > 0:18:39Oh, wine glasses - that's useful.
0:18:39 > 0:18:43They're going to be opened sometime.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00I was a welder in a tin-plate factory when I discovered it.
0:19:00 > 0:19:05There's nothing to put in it? Drink it neat, then smash the glasses.
0:19:05 > 0:19:12Does Thelma know you've got the keys? I don't know. Why?
0:19:12 > 0:19:17I'm doing them a favour. Peak hours for crime and all these new things.
0:19:31 > 0:19:51I think it's very romantic.
0:20:08 > 0:20:12You know what they're famous for?
0:20:12 > 0:20:17They don't spend all their time
0:20:36 > 0:20:40I mean, nothing's been fixed yet.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47Well, he's just passed his finals.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49And he lives in Toronto, does he?
0:20:49 > 0:20:54Yes, but he's English originally -
0:20:54 > 0:21:01from Luton till he discovered vodka.
0:21:01 > 0:21:04When are you going back? The 21st.
0:21:04 > 0:21:08what you're up to? No idea.
0:21:08 > 0:21:13Why should he? You're an adult
0:21:16 > 0:21:19What I'm trying to say is...
0:21:19 > 0:21:24what happens here...doesn't have any bearing on what happens there.
0:21:24 > 0:21:30the situation here is not affected
0:21:30 > 0:21:35"out of sight, out of mind."
0:21:35 > 0:21:38That's what I'm trying to say. Yes.
0:21:38 > 0:21:43There's a bit of a Norseman in you. Lots of Viking blood round here.
0:21:51 > 0:21:54Sod it! Who the hell's that?
0:21:57 > 0:22:00Long-distance? Hello. Yeah?
0:22:00 > 0:22:02Hello, Bob. What you ringing for?
0:22:20 > 0:22:27You don't tell people not to worry, unless they should be worrying.
0:22:43 > 0:22:46are just having a nightcap.
0:22:46 > 0:22:53All right! All right! How's Thelma?
0:23:02 > 0:23:08evening. You haven't helped mine.
0:23:38 > 0:23:44Like I said, nothing to worry about. So he's broken in, I suppose?
0:23:44 > 0:23:49He found it in the goldfish bowl.
0:23:49 > 0:23:55Terry and Susan. What? At this time of night? Oh, does it matter?
0:23:55 > 0:24:00Yes! She's engaged to Peter.
0:24:03 > 0:24:11Trust you to be flippant about infidelity. It's a nightcap. What?
0:24:11 > 0:24:18Terry'll be making love to her in our bed that isn't even paid for.
0:24:22 > 0:24:25I can tell something's wrong.
0:24:27 > 0:24:31About him not helping your evening.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37You took things for granted.
0:24:54 > 0:24:58There's nothing to apologise for.
0:24:58 > 0:25:03It's just the situation, being
0:25:07 > 0:25:12Shall I ring you during the week?
0:26:01 > 0:26:09Good, because it's wrong to assume
0:26:09 > 0:26:13We should take our ski boots off.
0:26:13 > 0:26:18we ought to ring Terry later.
0:26:18 > 0:26:22we're having a smashing time
0:26:22 > 0:26:26it's been a disaster. I will.
0:26:42 > 0:26:45Thelma out the bathroom yet?
0:26:50 > 0:26:53We're having a really smashing time.
0:27:01 > 0:27:06I'm sorry about last night.
0:27:12 > 0:27:16How did the window get broken
0:27:19 > 0:27:25The ladder fell where? What do you mean not to worry? Hello, Thelma!
0:27:25 > 0:27:28I've never seen you look lovelier.
0:27:31 > 0:27:35Absolutely nothing. Not to worry.
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Just the window. You look lovely.
0:27:38 > 0:27:43He's 100 miles away but he's still here. I'll have to live with that.
0:27:43 > 0:27:47Darling. I want you to ask Terry
0:27:51 > 0:27:56I'll adjust. I'll look after
0:27:56 > 0:28:02we can catch a few moments together.
0:28:38 > 0:28:42Intelfax subtitles by Kate Shaw