The Go-Between

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0:00:00 > 0:00:03# Oh, what happened to you?

0:00:03 > 0:00:05# Whatever happened to me?

0:00:07 > 0:00:11# What became of the people

0:00:11 > 0:00:13# We used to be?

0:00:14 > 0:00:21# Tomorrow's almost over, Today went by so fast

0:00:21 > 0:00:25# Is the only thing to look forward to...

0:00:25 > 0:00:29# The past? #

0:00:33 > 0:00:35Terry!

0:00:35 > 0:00:37- < MUFFLED SHOUT - I'm home!

0:00:42 > 0:00:44Tut, tut, tut!

0:00:49 > 0:00:52Just look at this place!

0:00:52 > 0:00:57Hello, pet. Had a good day at the office? Drink that while it's hot.

0:00:57 > 0:01:00Is this SUPPOSED to be here?

0:01:00 > 0:01:03I must've left them after my snack.

0:01:03 > 0:01:06And don't put fags in the plant pot.

0:01:06 > 0:01:12I was answering the door. It was a lady in galoshes from War On Want.

0:01:12 > 0:01:14That doesn't live there, does it?

0:01:14 > 0:01:18It's there because I'm trying to do everything at once.

0:01:18 > 0:01:22Answering the door, cleaning, doing dinner...

0:01:22 > 0:01:25I've not stopped today, I've not stopped!

0:01:25 > 0:01:29- Did Thelma ring? - No.- Did she call round?

0:01:29 > 0:01:32Not unless it was while I was shopping.

0:01:32 > 0:01:35I waited 15 minutes at the butcher's!

0:01:35 > 0:01:42- Are you sure she didn't ring? - Not unless I was out. Your friends Maurice and Pauline rang.

0:01:42 > 0:01:46- Will you go to their anniversary? - Oh, yes.- I said no.

0:01:48 > 0:01:50What?

0:01:50 > 0:01:54- On your behalf.- I'd like to go, to get myself out of myself.

0:01:54 > 0:02:02The invitation was for you and Thelma as a couple, which no longer exists, so I turned it down.

0:02:02 > 0:02:05- I'M going.- What do you mean?

0:02:05 > 0:02:09To make the numbers up. They're two short now.

0:02:09 > 0:02:12When they know you're separated...

0:02:12 > 0:02:19We're not separated, we're estranged. You'd no right to say no. You're not my social secretary!

0:02:19 > 0:02:24You're here to give me strength in a difficult period of my life,

0:02:24 > 0:02:28to cheer me up, and cook my dinner... Where is it?

0:02:28 > 0:02:33It'll be ready soon. I've slaved over a hot stove all afternoon.

0:02:33 > 0:02:36- You forgot to turn it off?- Pardon?

0:02:36 > 0:02:42It's because you forgot to turn it off that you burned that non-stick pan!

0:02:42 > 0:02:47It was a wedding present from Doreen and Tom.

0:02:47 > 0:02:50Well, it said on the packet, "Simmer gently."

0:02:50 > 0:02:54Yes, for seven minutes, not four hours.

0:02:56 > 0:03:00- Well, I forgot.- Just like you forgot to put water in the poacher.

0:03:00 > 0:03:05That was a wedding present, too, from Brian and Ann.

0:03:05 > 0:03:09- Who gave you the pop-up toaster? - Pam and Ivor.

0:03:09 > 0:03:11Why?

0:03:11 > 0:03:14Well, that's knackered now.

0:03:14 > 0:03:18..How? How can you break a toaster?

0:03:18 > 0:03:23You put bread in and press a lever. Even YOU can't break a toaster.

0:03:23 > 0:03:27- It wasn't exactly bread I put in it. - What was it?

0:03:27 > 0:03:28Chops.

0:03:30 > 0:03:33..You put chops in the toaster?!

0:03:33 > 0:03:39For your dinner, to de-freeze them. It seemed the best way of doing it.

0:03:39 > 0:03:44You leave them out for a few hours, and then shove them under the grill.

0:03:44 > 0:03:48I didn't know how. I can't work gas.

0:03:48 > 0:03:56And what were you doing with chops? You said we were gonna have liver and bacon - and semolina pudding.

0:03:56 > 0:03:57We WERE,

0:03:57 > 0:04:00till I lost the liver.

0:04:01 > 0:04:03How can you lose liver?

0:04:03 > 0:04:08Either it's in the garbage disposal, or the cat ate it.

0:04:08 > 0:04:13- The cat went missing last night. - Maybe HE'S in the garbage disposal.

0:04:13 > 0:04:18Dear me! What's that smell? Is somebody burning rubbish?

0:04:18 > 0:04:20No, it's me! I'm burning semolina!

0:04:21 > 0:04:26- Oh, God!- Look at this kitchen! Dear me! Look at this grease!

0:04:26 > 0:04:29You'd need a knife to get that off!

0:04:29 > 0:04:30Excuse me!

0:04:32 > 0:04:35- C-R-A-C-K! - Oh, dear!

0:04:35 > 0:04:37Now what?

0:04:37 > 0:04:39The dish has cracked.

0:04:39 > 0:04:42- Has it?- Was that a wedding present?

0:04:42 > 0:04:49- Yes, from Auntie Beattie. - She won't know. She doesn't get out, with her bad leg.

0:04:49 > 0:04:52- I'll give you the list.- What list?

0:04:52 > 0:04:56Of the presents. You can work your way through it.

0:04:56 > 0:04:58Look at the table!

0:04:58 > 0:05:05- I'm doing my best. I'm not the Galloping Gourmet! - I'm sorry. I know you're not!

0:05:05 > 0:05:07- I mean!- I've said I'm sorry!

0:05:07 > 0:05:11Look, a tin of apricots! We'll have them.

0:05:11 > 0:05:18- I'm not hungry. - And there's some bacon. We could have bacon and...apricots.

0:05:18 > 0:05:24- I'd rather not. - I suppose it's times like these that you miss Thelma the most.

0:05:24 > 0:05:28When you come home for a casserole and a cuddle.

0:05:28 > 0:05:34I noticed that when I left my wife. Mealtimes and bedtimes are hardest.

0:05:34 > 0:05:36- Aren't they?- Yes, bedtime is worst.

0:05:36 > 0:05:39It's such a big bed without Thelma!

0:05:39 > 0:05:44It's got a slope I'd not noticed before. I keep rolling to the edge!

0:05:44 > 0:05:48Before, I'd just roll into Thelma. I'm not sleeping.

0:05:48 > 0:05:52- Not sleeping?!- No. - You snore awake, do you?

0:05:52 > 0:05:56- Pardon? - You were making a racket last night.

0:05:56 > 0:06:02- I'd only just got off. - You were hard enough to wake when I brought your tea.

0:06:02 > 0:06:08- I'd just got off.- You were asleep when I went for a Jimmy Riddle.

0:06:08 > 0:06:11I am NOT sleeping! Look at my eyes!

0:06:11 > 0:06:16- Not enough iron. The liver'll put you right.- But you lost the liver!

0:06:16 > 0:06:20- Oh, aye. Let's go out for a meal. - No, thanks.

0:06:20 > 0:06:24We'll go to the Kashmir. You love curry!

0:06:24 > 0:06:29- You hate it.- They do egg and chips. - I hate that.- What? Egg and chips?

0:06:29 > 0:06:35People in Indian restaurants eating egg and chips. It insults Indians.

0:06:35 > 0:06:42They come from Kashmir with exotic spices, and then YOU come in for egg and chips and a pint of lager.

0:06:42 > 0:06:47- It's embarrassing.- It says on the window: "Anglo-Indian cuisine".

0:06:47 > 0:06:54And the people that run it aren't from Kashmir, they're from South Shields.

0:06:54 > 0:06:58His granddad fought on the Northwest Frontier.

0:06:58 > 0:07:01Well, he must have meant Cumberland.

0:07:01 > 0:07:05He might wear a turban, but he's a third-generation Geordie.

0:07:05 > 0:07:10He still has an Indian's heritage and sensitivity.

0:07:10 > 0:07:14I don't like going with people who order English food,

0:07:14 > 0:07:16and call the waiters "Gungadin".

0:07:17 > 0:07:21I never knew you were such an Indian lover.

0:07:21 > 0:07:27I pity any waiter with you around. I won't go back to Don Luigi's after going with you.

0:07:27 > 0:07:30No sense of humour, these Italians.

0:07:30 > 0:07:35They have, Terry. They're famed for their fun-loving, warm hospitality.

0:07:35 > 0:07:39They just get bored with constant jokes about the Mafia.

0:07:40 > 0:07:46Much as the manager of the Golden Dragon disliked being called Kung-fu.

0:07:46 > 0:07:53We'll go to an ordinary English steak house, or we can get fish and chips.

0:07:53 > 0:07:59- We can go to the Wheatsheaf later. They'll have music.- I don't want to.

0:07:59 > 0:08:04I've worked my fingers to the bone. I'm entitled to be taken out.

0:08:04 > 0:08:08- You sound like my wife. - I feel like your rotten wife!

0:08:08 > 0:08:13I see why she left now. You care more for Indians and Chinamen!

0:08:13 > 0:08:19Is that a nice thing to tell a man who's just separated from his wife?

0:08:19 > 0:08:25- Estranged. - I am grief-stricken. I'm going through a very traumatic period.

0:08:25 > 0:08:31Some people use it as an excuse to get drunk and chase spare. I'm sure YOU did.

0:08:31 > 0:08:36I did, as a matter of fact. Did me a world of good.

0:08:36 > 0:08:43Well, we're different people, Terry. I take things more seriously. I feel things more deeply.

0:08:43 > 0:08:46I haven't got your...insensitivity.

0:08:46 > 0:08:54I'm not very clear about anything at the moment, except that I love Thelma and I wish she was here.

0:08:56 > 0:09:00Oh, come on, kidder. Things'll work out.

0:09:01 > 0:09:06Cheer up, Bob! You'll end up with your head in the gas oven!

0:09:06 > 0:09:09Not that one - it's filthy!

0:09:09 > 0:09:13I wouldn't be seen dead in that gas oven!

0:09:26 > 0:09:29- Hello, Thelma. - Hello! How are you?

0:09:29 > 0:09:36- Bit of a cold. - And the children?- Fleur has earache, and Wayne has his chest.

0:09:36 > 0:09:41- How's Ernie?- He's got some allergy, but we're fine in ourselves.

0:09:46 > 0:09:53Look, I don't want you to think... I can't pretend I haven't heard - about you and Bob.

0:09:53 > 0:09:56That Bob... That things...

0:09:56 > 0:10:00- That I've left Bob? - I didn't know it was that drastic.

0:10:00 > 0:10:05- I'm at my mother's and he's at home with your brother.- Our Terry?!

0:10:07 > 0:10:13- What's HE been up to? - It's not his fault entirely. He's just staying there.

0:10:13 > 0:10:18- Well, it can't make things easier. - It doesn't help.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27Thank you.

0:10:27 > 0:10:31I don't want you to think I'm someone you don't see for ages...

0:10:31 > 0:10:39- No..- ..who turns up when disaster strikes. But if there's anything I can do, please don't hesitate.

0:10:39 > 0:10:45I'm familiar with this. It isn't all plain sailing with our Ernie.

0:10:45 > 0:10:49It's hard being married to an alcoholic hairdresser.

0:10:49 > 0:10:54- He's not an alcoholic.- He drinks too much too often. That's alcoholic!

0:10:54 > 0:10:57Our problem isn't Bob's drinking.

0:10:57 > 0:11:04I didn't mean to infer, but don't hesitate. Come over tonight if you like.

0:11:04 > 0:11:07- No, I'll stay in. - Get yourself out of yourself.

0:11:07 > 0:11:10So everyone says. What's it mean?

0:11:10 > 0:11:15- If you change your mind, don't hesitate.- Thanks, Audrey.

0:11:15 > 0:11:19We must sort it out for ourselves, but it's sweet of you.

0:11:19 > 0:11:23Well, what are friends for, pet?

0:11:23 > 0:11:26- Just one thing.- Yes? - You're 26p overdue.

0:11:28 > 0:11:30Oh.

0:11:30 > 0:11:32Oh, I see.

0:11:45 > 0:11:48- I've found the liver.- Where was it?

0:11:48 > 0:11:51In my raincoat pocket.

0:11:51 > 0:11:54Oh, yes! I wore it to the butcher's.

0:11:54 > 0:11:58It was dripping blood on the new carpet.

0:11:58 > 0:12:02- Cold water's best for blood. - Why did you wear my mac?

0:12:02 > 0:12:08- Mine's at home!- Why did you wear my new one? Why not my old one?

0:12:08 > 0:12:11I gave it to the lady from War On Want.

0:12:11 > 0:12:15My lovely old mac? I've had that for years.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18Yes, that's why I gave it away.

0:12:18 > 0:12:23- I want it back!- Don't be stupid. It'll be halfway to Kashmir by now!

0:12:23 > 0:12:26My extendable steel rule was in it.

0:12:26 > 0:12:31They'll find a good use for it. Shall I cook that liver for you?

0:12:31 > 0:12:36Not now. It'll be all fluffy and taste of gaberdine.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39It'll do for the cat if we ever find him.

0:12:39 > 0:12:43- Don't worry about the cat. - I DO worry about him.

0:12:43 > 0:12:51He's not ours. I'm just looking after him for the people next door who are at a wedding in Pontefract.

0:12:51 > 0:12:55What do I say when they ask for Ginger?

0:12:55 > 0:13:00"I'm not sure. He's disappeared. He might be in the waste disposal."

0:13:00 > 0:13:05I'm not SURE that he is. It just made a very funny noise.

0:13:05 > 0:13:08Yes, well, they always do.

0:13:08 > 0:13:11Yes, but it sort of went...YIAOW!

0:13:12 > 0:13:16Not funny, Terry. Not funny one bit.

0:13:16 > 0:13:22- No sense of humour! - And you haven't cleaned the oven. - I'll do it in the morning.

0:13:24 > 0:13:26- Can I ask a question?- What?

0:13:26 > 0:13:30Why, at 8.30, are you in a dressing gown?

0:13:30 > 0:13:35- I've had a bath.- I hope you wiped it round after you.- I always do.

0:13:35 > 0:13:39You can't get me for that. I haven't had a bath.

0:13:39 > 0:13:41I noticed.

0:13:41 > 0:13:45- Pardon?- Three days you've been here without a bath.

0:13:45 > 0:13:49- I've had no time. - You have, late at night.

0:13:49 > 0:13:53- I didn't want to wake you. - I'm not sleeping, remember?

0:13:53 > 0:13:57Look, get dressed. Let's go for a drink.

0:13:57 > 0:14:01- I've just had a bath. - We've got the car.

0:14:01 > 0:14:04I just want a quiet evening with the TV.

0:14:04 > 0:14:08- There's nothing on.- There must be. - I've had a look.

0:14:08 > 0:14:14You've got mental health, accidents at home or wildlife up the Amazon.

0:14:14 > 0:14:18Avoid that - the spiders'd give you nightmares.

0:14:18 > 0:14:25- How can they when I'm not sleeping? - There's a Party Political Broadcast. That could be a laugh.

0:14:25 > 0:14:28- That's not on, is it? - All three channels!

0:14:28 > 0:14:31Dear me, what a terrible night!

0:14:31 > 0:14:35There's a film on. "A Polish masterpiece..."

0:14:35 > 0:14:40- Quite - with subtitles. - What a terrible night!

0:14:40 > 0:14:45- Come for a drink. Get yourself out of yourself.- Thelma might ring.

0:14:45 > 0:14:46Look,

0:14:46 > 0:14:50if you want to speak to Thelma, ring her!

0:14:50 > 0:14:54I've got my pride. I'm not speaking to her.

0:14:54 > 0:14:58So why are you waiting in in case she rings?

0:14:58 > 0:15:05To make it clear I'm not speaking to her. She left me, remember? I did not leave her, she left me.

0:15:05 > 0:15:09I won't ask again. It's your last chance.

0:15:09 > 0:15:12- Are you coming out with me?- No.

0:15:12 > 0:15:19- Now Thelma's gone, do you think I'll drink with you every night? - When she was here, you did!

0:15:19 > 0:15:27- And if I'd seen less of you I wouldn't be in this situation. - Oh, what a nice thing to say(!)

0:15:27 > 0:15:34What a nice thing to say(!) To your best friend who spent half the morning at the butcher's.

0:15:34 > 0:15:37It's the truth. It had to be said.

0:15:37 > 0:15:44Over the years your presence has had a destructive influence on Thelma and me.

0:15:44 > 0:15:48What a terrible thing to say!

0:15:48 > 0:15:50I was your best man!

0:15:50 > 0:15:54And you told me where I could get a quick divorce.

0:15:54 > 0:15:59- It was a joke to lessen the horror to come.- There you go again!

0:15:59 > 0:16:04- Just another joke!- It's not funny. - Listen, Bob.

0:16:04 > 0:16:08I've never tried to cause trouble between you two.

0:16:08 > 0:16:16I've had differences with Thelma, almost as many as you, but I never tried to stir it between you.

0:16:16 > 0:16:21You didn't help on Monday. She'd be here now if you'd sent the flowers.

0:16:21 > 0:16:25I gave you £5, and you spent it in the betting shop.

0:16:25 > 0:16:29I'll pay you back. You'll get your money.

0:16:29 > 0:16:35That is not the point. I gave you £5 for flowers. I shall never forgive you.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37I DID buy flowers.

0:16:37 > 0:16:43You STOLE some flowers from the gardens opposite the rates office!

0:16:43 > 0:16:46It's the thought that counts.

0:16:46 > 0:16:52If she had got a large bouquet wrapped in cellophane with a pink ribbon,

0:16:52 > 0:16:55then she might have been impressed.

0:16:55 > 0:17:02What would she think of a bunch of marigolds in an old Daily Mirror shoved through the letter box?

0:17:02 > 0:17:07If that horse had won, she could've had a whole florist's.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10And we'd have food to eat tonight.

0:17:11 > 0:17:14What is that supposed to mean?

0:17:14 > 0:17:19What are you doing with the housekeeping, frankly?

0:17:19 > 0:17:23I gave you £10 and I've seen very little for it,

0:17:23 > 0:17:28except for some carrots, a tin of fruit and some rather fluffy liver.

0:17:28 > 0:17:31And bacon and a tin of semolina!

0:17:31 > 0:17:37How much does it cost? £8 a tin? It's not caviar! I want to see the receipts.

0:17:37 > 0:17:44I paid for the papers AND laundry. I gave to the Lifeboat Fund and got a flag to prove it.

0:17:44 > 0:17:47I can account for every penny!

0:17:47 > 0:17:55- You can in the betting shop! - Right, that's it. You can go so far, I can take so much, but that is it!

0:17:55 > 0:17:59After three days I can see Thelma's point of view.

0:17:59 > 0:18:05You don't need a wife, just a housekeeper to cook and balance your books.

0:18:05 > 0:18:09I have been very tolerant these last few days,

0:18:09 > 0:18:14but it's got to be said, you are IMPOSSIBLE to live with!

0:18:14 > 0:18:19- Where are you going? - I'm leaving, that's where I'm going.

0:18:19 > 0:18:22I'm leaving, just like Thelma did.

0:18:22 > 0:18:26Think about it! Two people have left you in a week!

0:18:27 > 0:18:29Three, if you count the cat.

0:18:32 > 0:18:35POLISH DIALOGUE ON TV

0:18:35 > 0:18:37DOORBELL RINGS

0:18:46 > 0:18:49- Terry?!- Hello, Thelma.

0:18:49 > 0:18:53I was just passing and I...er... Can I come in?

0:18:53 > 0:18:54Yes.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01- I hope I'm not... - No, there's no-one in.

0:19:01 > 0:19:05Well, take your coat off. Is it raining?

0:19:05 > 0:19:07- A bit.- Oh.

0:19:08 > 0:19:12- Bob's got a mac like that. - Well, that IS Bob's mac.

0:19:12 > 0:19:14Oh.

0:19:14 > 0:19:19What are these bloodstains? He hasn't had an accident, has he?

0:19:19 > 0:19:22- It's not Bob's blood. It's liver.- Liver?

0:19:22 > 0:19:25- Calf's liver.- Oh.- For his supper.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28Oh, well, you'd better come through.

0:19:33 > 0:19:38- If you're watching TV...- I wasn't, really. It's about nuns in Poland.

0:19:38 > 0:19:44They called it a masterpiece in the Radio Times, but it's heavy going.

0:19:44 > 0:19:50I saw a film where Joan Collins is this nun, if you can believe that.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52She's in an open boat with some men.

0:19:52 > 0:19:59- They don't know she's a nun cos she's lost her habit. - Really? Please sit down.

0:19:59 > 0:20:01Oh, cheers.

0:20:04 > 0:20:08Deborah Kerr. She was a nun in a film once.

0:20:09 > 0:20:12- Audrey Hepburn.- "The Nun's Story."

0:20:12 > 0:20:16Well, there must be a call for films about nuns.

0:20:16 > 0:20:19- Do you want some tea? - No, thanks, no.

0:20:19 > 0:20:22- A drink or cigarette?- No, really.

0:20:23 > 0:20:25How's Bob?

0:20:25 > 0:20:31- It's about Bob that I called. - He HAS had an accident. - No, no, honestly.

0:20:31 > 0:20:36It's just...you should have had some flowers on Monday.

0:20:36 > 0:20:40- I did get some.- Marigolds? - It was hard to tell.

0:20:40 > 0:20:47Well, I didn't mean those. You should have had a big bouquet in cellophane with a pink ribbon.

0:20:47 > 0:20:51Only you didn't, and Bob thinks it was my fault.

0:20:51 > 0:20:55Bob seems to think a lot of things are my fault.

0:20:55 > 0:20:59- You're not to blame entirely. - Of course I'm not.

0:20:59 > 0:21:05You have a grammar-school education. You see more clearly than he does.

0:21:05 > 0:21:11I said, "Have I stirred things between you two?" YOU know the answer.

0:21:11 > 0:21:12Yes.

0:21:13 > 0:21:16He's upset me today, Thelma.

0:21:16 > 0:21:21When I think how long I've known him - since 1948, to be exact.

0:21:21 > 0:21:28We've done everything together. We've had the same friends and hobbies, the same girls...

0:21:28 > 0:21:31Present company excluded, of course.

0:21:31 > 0:21:33Well, you tried hard enough once.

0:21:33 > 0:21:38- Did I?! When was that? - That trip to Blackpool.

0:21:38 > 0:21:40Oh, aye.

0:21:40 > 0:21:45That was long ago, we were young, and I was inflamed with brown ale.

0:21:45 > 0:21:52You know what these coach trips are like. It was dark and confused, and I thought you were someone else.

0:21:54 > 0:22:00Not that I found you unattractive. I've always been aware of you as a woman.

0:22:00 > 0:22:05Even all that time ago, you were always Bob's girl.

0:22:05 > 0:22:10Even when you weren't speaking, it was always Bob and Thelma.

0:22:10 > 0:22:12Even that scene with Briony Hood...

0:22:12 > 0:22:16- Briony Hood?! When was this? - Oh, er...

0:22:16 > 0:22:20I remember Briony Hood! She broke her father's heart.

0:22:20 > 0:22:24She dances topless at a Sunderland discotheque.

0:22:24 > 0:22:26Really?

0:22:26 > 0:22:29Mmm. Broke her father's heart.

0:22:29 > 0:22:32Mind you, she had great pair of...

0:22:32 > 0:22:37That's no reason to flaunt them in front of the teenagers of Wearside.

0:22:37 > 0:22:40- Quite. - And Bob had a scene with her?

0:22:40 > 0:22:45- Long before she went topless. - Bob never let on about that.

0:22:45 > 0:22:49Thelma, please. I'm not trying to stir things.

0:22:49 > 0:22:53I'm trying to say that you and Bob belong together.

0:22:53 > 0:22:56He's in a terrible way without you.

0:22:56 > 0:23:00He feels things very deeply, and...he loves you.

0:23:00 > 0:23:04Despite his faults he's a good lad, one of the best.

0:23:04 > 0:23:08I think you should be with him now. He's all alone.

0:23:08 > 0:23:13- You were with him. - I've packed it in. I've left him.

0:23:13 > 0:23:19He drove me round the bend, wanting meals on the table the minute he came in.

0:23:19 > 0:23:23- He does, doesn't he? - Everything must be in its place.

0:23:23 > 0:23:27I'm tidy, but he has an obsession, a fetish!

0:23:27 > 0:23:33- He was like that at school. - Yes, everything in its place, crayons sharpened.

0:23:33 > 0:23:37He had pleats ironed in the back of his shirt.

0:23:37 > 0:23:45- He costs a fortune at the cleaners. - Don't! I went there yesterday. I'd never realised the cost of cleaning.

0:23:45 > 0:23:50- Then he asks where the money goes. - He doesn't have to go shopping.

0:23:50 > 0:23:57He doesn't realise how costs have risen. He doesn't go to the supermarket.

0:23:57 > 0:24:01Do you know I stood for 15 minutes in the butcher's?

0:24:01 > 0:24:04- For the liver?- Yes.- He likes that.

0:24:04 > 0:24:06He didn't get it.

0:24:08 > 0:24:11How is he in himself?

0:24:11 > 0:24:14- He's a bag of nerves. - Is he sleeping?

0:24:14 > 0:24:16No.

0:24:16 > 0:24:18He's snores, but he's not sleeping.

0:24:18 > 0:24:21- That sets me on edge.- Me, too!

0:24:23 > 0:24:28- Terry, we've got one thing in common. - What?- He drives us both mad!

0:24:45 > 0:24:47DOORBELL RINGS

0:24:52 > 0:24:57- It's only me.- Audrey, come in, love. - Just for a minute. I shan't stop.

0:24:59 > 0:25:04- What are you doing?- Cleaning up. There's blood everywhere.

0:25:04 > 0:25:07What have you done?

0:25:07 > 0:25:10- It's not me, it's Terry. - You didn't kill him?

0:25:12 > 0:25:13Not yet.

0:25:13 > 0:25:16Nobody would blame you if you did.

0:25:16 > 0:25:21He's turned this place into a pigsty. Come on through.

0:25:21 > 0:25:25I popped round while the Party Political was on.

0:25:25 > 0:25:30I'm not one of those people who only turns up at a hint of disaster,

0:25:30 > 0:25:34but if I can do anything, don't hesitate.

0:25:34 > 0:25:39Thank you, Audrey, you are kind, but I must sort this out for myself.

0:25:39 > 0:25:45I know, but it helps to see friends. It gets yourself out of yourself.

0:25:45 > 0:25:47You're welcome to sleep at my place.

0:25:47 > 0:25:54- I don't sleep, Audrey. - I'm not surprised. I went through this. I'm not unfamiliar.

0:25:54 > 0:25:57We'll just see how things work out.

0:25:57 > 0:26:01- It will.- What?- Work out. - We'll just have to see.

0:26:01 > 0:26:05I can't stop. Where's Terry? Drinking?

0:26:05 > 0:26:12I don't know, Audrey. He's gone, you see, left me. I must have some quality that makes people leave me.

0:26:12 > 0:26:16- I don't... - Am I difficult to live with?

0:26:16 > 0:26:18Don't be daft. Of course you're not.

0:26:18 > 0:26:24- Did you wipe your feet? I just did the floor. - Sorry. Look, I can't stop.

0:26:24 > 0:26:27- YOU'RE leaving me now.- But I said...

0:26:27 > 0:26:30You're leaving me, like the others.

0:26:33 > 0:26:34Cheers.

0:26:34 > 0:26:38- Cheers. Bob and Thelma!- Cheers!

0:26:38 > 0:26:43- Bob is a habit I have to get out of. - Like Joan Collins on that boat.

0:26:43 > 0:26:44Pardon?

0:26:44 > 0:26:47Oh, yes! Very witty, Thelma.

0:26:47 > 0:26:49DOORBELL RINGS

0:26:49 > 0:26:53- Who's that?- Not your mother? - No, she's playing bridge.

0:26:59 > 0:27:04- Oh, hello, Audrey.- Hello. I can't stop, but I felt I had to rush over.

0:27:05 > 0:27:10- What are you doing here? - Having a drink with Thelma.

0:27:10 > 0:27:13Terry's been very sweet and understanding.

0:27:13 > 0:27:16Terry has?! This Terry?!

0:27:16 > 0:27:20Yes, he's been telling me to get back to Bob.

0:27:20 > 0:27:26The sooner, the better. I went to see how he was, and he was most peculiar.

0:27:26 > 0:27:29He was all morbid, brandishing a knife.

0:27:29 > 0:27:34I'll ring and say I'm on my way. Is he very depressed?

0:27:34 > 0:27:40- I can't pretend he isn't. - He thinks we hate him. - And he's worried about Ginger.

0:27:40 > 0:27:42PHONE RINGS

0:27:43 > 0:27:46PHONE RINGS

0:27:47 > 0:27:49PHONE RINGS

0:27:49 > 0:27:51NOISY HOOVER

0:27:55 > 0:28:02- No answer!- He must BE there. He was in his dressing gown. - I must go to him!

0:28:32 > 0:28:34Aaah! Darling!

0:28:34 > 0:28:37To think, after all these years,...

0:28:37 > 0:28:40Oh, forgive me, forgive me!

0:28:40 > 0:28:41Thelma!

0:28:41 > 0:28:43What is it?

0:28:43 > 0:28:47You'll get Oven Stick all over your blouse.

0:28:51 > 0:28:54# Ooh, what happened to you?

0:28:54 > 0:28:57# Whatever happened to me?

0:28:58 > 0:29:02# What became of the people

0:29:02 > 0:29:04# We used to be?

0:29:05 > 0:29:09# Ooh, what happened to you?

0:29:09 > 0:29:12# Whatever happened to me?

0:29:13 > 0:29:16# What became of the people?

0:29:16 > 0:29:20# We used to be? # Intelfax Subtitles by Julia Watts for BBC Subtitling, 1995