0:00:03 > 0:00:05# What happened to you?
0:00:05 > 0:00:07# Whatever happened to me?
0:00:09 > 0:00:13# What became of the people
0:00:13 > 0:00:16# We used to be?
0:00:17 > 0:00:19# Tomorrow's almost over
0:00:19 > 0:00:22# Today went by so fast
0:00:23 > 0:00:27# Is the only thing to look forward to
0:00:27 > 0:00:29# The past? #
0:00:31 > 0:00:34There you are, Ken. Cheers.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41Hello, Terry! All right, Jack, Gloria?
0:00:41 > 0:00:46Just a half, please. Where HAVE you been, pet? Around.
0:00:46 > 0:00:51Not round here. We wondered if we'd get a holiday this year
0:00:51 > 0:00:56There are other things in life than drinking every night. A half, eh?
0:00:56 > 0:01:01I hear Bob's back. He'll be in soon. Was it a nice honeymoon? Apparently.
0:01:01 > 0:01:04Went skiing, didn't he?
0:01:07 > 0:01:09Apparently!
0:01:09 > 0:01:12Hello, Bob! Nice time, was it?
0:01:12 > 0:01:14I did not do this skiing.
0:01:14 > 0:01:20Well...we won't ask you HOW you did it, then, eh?
0:01:20 > 0:01:25I did it on the aeroplane steps Going out there, or coming back
0:01:25 > 0:01:32Coming back. I felt giddy from the turbulence. The honeymoon itself was perfect. A pint, please.
0:01:32 > 0:01:38Terry? No, I'm fine. What's the matter with him? We're glad to see YOU back.
0:01:38 > 0:01:45So are the brewery shareholders He hasn't been in much. Not been well, petal?
0:01:45 > 0:01:49Maybe he's in love. I do not spend all my life in pubs.
0:01:49 > 0:01:52You do - when they're open! There. Lovely.
0:01:52 > 0:01:56Get yourself one, and Gloria. Thanks!
0:01:56 > 0:01:58Welcome back!
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Have you been to the hospital? Yep! l
0:02:00 > 0:02:05I have to keep it on another week. Does it hurt? No, it itches.
0:02:05 > 0:02:10What's written on it? My secretary did that - she wrote me a footnote!
0:02:12 > 0:02:17What's it say? It's in SHORTFOOT! God, they're coming out tonight
0:02:17 > 0:02:22Actually, I think she fancies me. Who? Wendy, this secretary at work.
0:02:22 > 0:02:27Cos she wrote on your foot?! You should read it. She's a sexy thing.
0:02:27 > 0:02:32She's only 18, but she always comes and sits on the corner of my desk.
0:02:32 > 0:02:38She leans across, so my right arm feels the swell of her left breast.
0:02:38 > 0:02:42All right, all right, all right Wait till the office party!
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Look, Bob...
0:02:45 > 0:02:52We've got a new invoice clerk. Ooh, she IS naughty! She's got a naughty little mouth! What did she write?
0:02:52 > 0:02:59"Come to the stationery cupboard when the rest leave." Did you? No. Good, you're a married man
0:02:59 > 0:03:04Someone had locked it. I had no key. I said, you're a married man!
0:03:04 > 0:03:08I know, but married men are more attractive to women.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12Take April, on the switchboard Oh, my God!
0:03:12 > 0:03:17April was always aloof with me polite, but offhand.
0:03:17 > 0:03:23Today she gave off VERY warm vibrations. Was she near the radiator?
0:03:23 > 0:03:28She comes into my office and she's all smiling and pouting - you know.
0:03:28 > 0:03:32Don't do that Bob, please! Not when you sit with me!
0:03:32 > 0:03:37She was glad to see me back. Showed her yer back, did you(?
0:03:37 > 0:03:42I'm saying how attractive you are once you're married. She missed me.
0:03:42 > 0:03:49She asked how my leg was. When I said it was itchy, she poked her knitting needle down my plaster.
0:03:49 > 0:03:57Amazing! Overnight you've become a typical married man. You only just had your honeymoon!
0:03:57 > 0:03:59The spare in the hotel! What hotel?
0:03:59 > 0:04:04On the honeymoon, man! If I hadn't been married...oh-ho!
0:04:04 > 0:04:07You wouldn't have been on honeymoon...oh-ho!
0:04:07 > 0:04:15One in particular made Thelma quite jealous. She was called Morag, a science teacher from Dumfries.
0:04:15 > 0:04:17Your change, pet. Thanks.
0:04:17 > 0:04:21Ooh, you DO suit that tan, Bob Thank you, pet!
0:04:21 > 0:04:27Did you see that? What? The look she gave me. Just what I said. Pah!
0:04:27 > 0:04:31You left as Robert Ferris. Now you act like Robert Redford
0:04:31 > 0:04:35Well, more Burt Reynolds. So Maureen said.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38Who on earth is Maureen?
0:04:38 > 0:04:44The girl at the garage. I didn't get four gallons, but she gave me quad stamps!
0:04:44 > 0:04:48You'd like her - greasy white overalls. What d'you mean
0:04:48 > 0:04:51Well, you go for women in uniform.
0:04:51 > 0:04:55Well, yeah, I suppose so - except the Salvation Army.
0:04:55 > 0:05:00Even then, some young tambourine players HAVE given me the shakes!
0:05:00 > 0:05:06You should've seen the stewardess on the plane! Don't! Stewardesses, oh!
0:05:06 > 0:05:11I love those shiny stockings that rustle when they rub together.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14SHE fancied me. Come on, not again!
0:05:14 > 0:05:22It's true! There's no denying it! She gave me two dinners. And shoved you down the aeroplane steps
0:05:22 > 0:05:27Sup up. Let's get down the Fat Ox, or there's music at the Wheatsheaf.
0:05:27 > 0:05:35There'll be a lot of naughty there! Control yourself! Why weren't you like this BEFORE you were married?
0:05:35 > 0:05:40Why do you act NOW like the mate I needed when I came out the army?
0:05:40 > 0:05:46Was I...was I very boring as a fiance? The northeast champion.
0:05:46 > 0:05:52Sorry. Ah, well, it's life's bitter irony. We'll make up for it tonight!
0:05:52 > 0:05:55Er...no, er...I can't tonight, Bob.
0:05:55 > 0:05:58Pardon? Well, I've got something on.
0:05:58 > 0:06:04Got what on? Put it off! I can't. You knew I was coming out tonight!
0:06:04 > 0:06:09I told you this was lads' night out. I told you Thelma had needlepoint.
0:06:09 > 0:06:16I can't ALWAYS fit in with Thelma's sewing. I'm meeting somebody. Who? TERRY MUMBLES
0:06:16 > 0:06:20Pardon? Just a girl! Well, who? Just somebody I know
0:06:20 > 0:06:23Do I know her? (Yes.) Pardon? YES!
0:06:24 > 0:06:32Well, who? Just...someone. Haven't I a right to know who you put above me and the Fat Ox
0:06:32 > 0:06:34God knows you did it enough to me!
0:06:34 > 0:06:40How many bars have you left me in while you went to wallpaper Thelma?
0:06:40 > 0:06:45All right! Own back, own back how childish! That's as may be
0:06:46 > 0:06:50You're leaving me, in other words. In other words, yes.
0:06:51 > 0:06:57You don't HAVE to say who she is. OK, I won't. Not my business. Your affair.
0:06:57 > 0:07:00I only asked you to be my best man.
0:07:00 > 0:07:03Look, I must go! Well, who is she?
0:07:05 > 0:07:10Susan. Susan?! Thelma's sister - Susan!
0:07:10 > 0:07:14Where are you seeing her? Her place. But her mum hates you!
0:07:14 > 0:07:18She's at Weightwatchers. Any more questions?
0:07:18 > 0:07:26Yes. What am I going to do? No problem! You've mentioned half a dozen admirers since you sat down.
0:07:26 > 0:07:32Show 'em your tan. Or go to Weightwatchers. Work off the airline dinners.
0:07:36 > 0:07:40Are those ski instructors all they're meant to be?
0:07:40 > 0:07:48One was very dishy. Bob got jealous, stuck on the nursery slopes, while Sven and I - that's his name, Sven...
0:07:48 > 0:07:51Sven?! ..did things on the slalom.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55What things? Going in and out of sticks.
0:07:55 > 0:08:02Do you remember when we went to Alassio together? Oh! You'd finished with Bob forever!
0:08:02 > 0:08:09The Italians! You couldn't walk down the street. We so wanted continental lovers
0:08:09 > 0:08:16Well, I did meet Giorgio. The waiter from Blackburn? His father was from Italy!
0:08:16 > 0:08:19SLURS: Let's have another carafino!
0:08:20 > 0:08:27Alan - he was yours, Alan. Poor Alan. He said it was bad for his health cos I wouldn't let him.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Giorgio said it was bad for his image.
0:08:35 > 0:08:40But one warm, starry night, he said he'd love me forever.
0:08:41 > 0:08:45Didn't improve his health - he got a cold the next day!
0:08:45 > 0:08:49What did you get up to while we were away?
0:08:49 > 0:08:55Thelma! You sound like a big sister. You ARE engaged to Peter. Peter's in Canada.
0:08:55 > 0:09:00Out of sight, out of mind! Oh, shut up! Look, I must go.
0:09:00 > 0:09:05What? I must get the car back. Mum's off to Weightwatchers.
0:09:05 > 0:09:08Come on, who is he? Somebody I like a lot.
0:09:08 > 0:09:15You don't HAVE to tell me. I won t. I thought we'd natter. Bob'll be in late.
0:09:15 > 0:09:17I can't! I'm seeing HIM!
0:09:17 > 0:09:20I'll ring you tomorrow! All right.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23Oh.
0:09:28 > 0:09:31Not another evening of Sacha Distel!
0:09:37 > 0:09:39DOOR SLAMS
0:09:40 > 0:09:43Hello, darling! Hello.
0:09:43 > 0:09:51Why are you home? It's my home I live here, don't I? Of course! Thought you'd be pleased to see me.
0:09:51 > 0:09:54Well, I am, but isn't it boys' night out?
0:09:54 > 0:10:00No, no, no, just a swift half! Oh. No - I didn't want you to be alone.
0:10:00 > 0:10:07You are sweet! There's nothing to eat but a tin of ravioli. Shall we go for a curry?
0:10:07 > 0:10:10I want to stay in. What's on the box?
0:10:10 > 0:10:13Sacha Distel. Let's have a curry!
0:10:13 > 0:10:22That's the Common Market - boring continentals, French singers, Dutch jugglers and German comedians.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25No, you couldn't have a German comedian.
0:10:25 > 0:10:32What's up? Why are you in a bad mood? It's my foot. What did they say at the hospital?
0:10:32 > 0:10:35I might have to keep it on - indefinitely.
0:10:35 > 0:10:41I'm glad you're home. I WAS going to chat to Susan, but she's got a date.
0:10:41 > 0:10:44Do you know who with? She didn't say.
0:10:44 > 0:10:48I'm not surprised. She's seeing Terry!
0:10:49 > 0:10:52Well! How long's this been going on?
0:10:52 > 0:10:57While we were away, and they were getting our house together,
0:10:57 > 0:11:01they got themselves together, in this room, on that sofa!
0:11:05 > 0:11:10But it's serious! She said, "It's someone I like very much.
0:11:10 > 0:11:14It IS possible to like Terry very much. I used to.
0:11:14 > 0:11:19Do you like him seeing Susan? I don't give a... Doesn't worry me!
0:11:19 > 0:11:26He can go out with your mother, for all I care! But Susan's engaged, and Terry's married.
0:11:26 > 0:11:31He's separated! It's his business if he wants to go out with Susan!
0:11:31 > 0:11:34Instead of with you, is that it Pardon?
0:11:36 > 0:11:40You're home because Terry stood you up!
0:11:40 > 0:11:44Do we want a curry or not? That's why you're in a mood.
0:11:44 > 0:11:49I'm in a mood because of my leg Would YOU like to lug that round?
0:11:49 > 0:11:53What's that writing? Nothing. Someone at work.
0:11:53 > 0:11:55That's disgusting! And who's Wendy?
0:12:06 > 0:12:08DOORBELL CHIMES
0:12:30 > 0:12:34Sorry to wake you. It's all right. Come in.
0:12:34 > 0:12:39I'll put some heat on. Where've you been? Round Susan's.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43How did you get here? I walked
0:12:43 > 0:12:49It's more than three miles! I know, but I fancied a walk, and a think.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51Oh...
0:12:51 > 0:12:54Er, do you want a drink? No, thanks, mate.
0:12:56 > 0:13:02How's the Wheatsheaf? We didn't go! What did you eat? Sorry, is it that bad?
0:13:02 > 0:13:05It would destroy all known germs!
0:13:06 > 0:13:08We went for a curry.
0:13:08 > 0:13:13Won't you have a drink? I fancy one. Go on, then. Good lad!
0:13:13 > 0:13:16I've got some scotch.
0:13:18 > 0:13:20Pssst!
0:13:20 > 0:13:22THEY MOUTH
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Here we are.
0:13:32 > 0:13:35Duty free! Sorry if I woke you, kidda.
0:13:35 > 0:13:40That's all right. We weren't asleep. You weren't...?
0:13:40 > 0:13:42No, no, no.
0:13:46 > 0:13:48Not on top of curry!
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Say when. Thanks.
0:13:54 > 0:13:58I see you cleaned your plaster up. Oh, that... Yeah.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00Do you want anything in it? No.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Cheers! Aye, cheers.
0:14:14 > 0:14:17Didn't it turn chilly tonight? Eh?
0:14:17 > 0:14:20Yes, the wind goes right through you.
0:14:20 > 0:14:24Still, it's only to be expected We can't complain.
0:14:24 > 0:14:28It HAS been very mild. Ooh, yes, yes.
0:14:33 > 0:14:38We went to the Star Of India It's very reasonable. Yeah, I know.
0:14:41 > 0:14:45I had chicken biryani. Oh.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Thelma had lamb vindaloo.
0:14:54 > 0:14:58While you were away, Susan and I went there once.
0:14:58 > 0:14:59Oh.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08What did YOU have?
0:15:11 > 0:15:13Steak and chips. I can't bear curry.
0:15:16 > 0:15:21How is Susan? Well, that's why I called round - Susan.
0:15:21 > 0:15:26I wanted to have a talk. Sometimes you've got to have a talk.
0:15:26 > 0:15:29Sure, sure.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33You know I'm not the sort who gets involved, or gets serious,
0:15:33 > 0:15:38but while you were away, Susan and me were round here a lot.
0:15:38 > 0:15:43She'd be hanging up curtains, and I'd be doing your light fittings...
0:15:43 > 0:15:46It fell off! What?
0:15:46 > 0:15:47Er...
0:15:49 > 0:15:53The new light fitting... that you put up - it fell off.
0:15:53 > 0:15:58Has that any relevance to what I'm trying to say?
0:15:58 > 0:16:00No, no, I'm sorry. Please go on
0:16:00 > 0:16:03I'm sorry. Well, it's just that ..
0:16:03 > 0:16:08I enjoyed being the new couple at number eight.
0:16:09 > 0:16:12I can't make my mind up about it.
0:16:12 > 0:16:15Is it due to Susan, or the house?
0:16:15 > 0:16:19I just feel at this stage I'm missing out on something.
0:16:19 > 0:16:24How does Susan feel? She doesn t know. She's just as confused as me.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29She goes back on Sunday. That's the point.
0:16:29 > 0:16:33AND she's engaged. I know that! That's another thing!
0:16:33 > 0:16:36I mean...she says that through me
0:16:36 > 0:16:40she's discovering her real feelings about HIM.
0:16:40 > 0:16:45I can see... Oh, Bob! Do you mind being sympathetic from a distance?
0:16:45 > 0:16:49Sorry, sorry! I can see that, but...
0:16:49 > 0:16:53Well, this feeling - what you're on about -
0:16:53 > 0:16:58perhaps it's because Thelma and I have got all this. I know that, Bob.
0:16:58 > 0:17:02Everything that you've got - your house and marriage,
0:17:02 > 0:17:05your job, your car, your neighbours,
0:17:05 > 0:17:09your badminton club - I despise it all, I hate it!
0:17:10 > 0:17:15Only these last few days I've hated it less - and, Bob, it worries me!
0:17:15 > 0:17:18I...I can see that.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20I can see...
0:17:20 > 0:17:22Ha!
0:17:22 > 0:17:25Ironic, isn't it? What a turnaround!
0:17:25 > 0:17:33I want to talk about domesticity, while you want to rave off down the Wheatsheaf looking for naughty.
0:17:33 > 0:17:35Keep your voice down! I'm sorry
0:17:37 > 0:17:42She came on an excursion ticket you know. Who?
0:17:42 > 0:17:44Susan, from Canada.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48What about it? If she doesn't go back on Sunday,
0:17:48 > 0:17:51she loses it, and has to pay extra.
0:17:52 > 0:18:00Why do you go on about these boring irrelevancies? What's the price of a ticket got to do with my turmoil?
0:18:01 > 0:18:04Are you in a turmoil? Of course I am!
0:18:04 > 0:18:08All I've eaten today is a packet of crisps!
0:18:08 > 0:18:15Would you like a tin of ravioli? No, thanks. That is not the answer. Has it helped?
0:18:15 > 0:18:18Our little talk. D'you feel better? Oh!
0:18:18 > 0:18:26You've been a tower of strength !) Well, sorry! It's not your fault. You've got to make your own mind up.
0:18:26 > 0:18:30I just wanted to talk... I'd better go.
0:18:30 > 0:18:32No - stay the night. Stay here
0:18:32 > 0:18:36Must go. I'll get Thelma to run you home
0:18:36 > 0:18:39No, thanks, Bob. I'd rather walk.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Well, thanks for being so, er..
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Well, thanks.
0:18:54 > 0:18:58Thelma, you have no idea! The things he told me!
0:18:58 > 0:19:03What's this about "naughty down the Wheatsheaf"?
0:19:03 > 0:19:06Anyone for more trifle?
0:19:06 > 0:19:10I couldn't, Mrs Chambers, but it WAS lovely!
0:19:10 > 0:19:12I might find room for some cheese.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16I thought you were cutting down! I am, from tomorrow.
0:19:16 > 0:19:21You can't diet at Sunday lunch Someone took a lot of trouble.
0:19:21 > 0:19:25Nobody else? No, thanks. No, thanks, Mum.
0:19:25 > 0:19:30You've hardly eaten, Susan! It's lovely. I'm not a big eater.
0:19:30 > 0:19:35You used to be! I hope you're eating the right sort of food in Canada.
0:19:35 > 0:19:40You must get your vitamins. There's tons of vitamins in Canada!
0:19:40 > 0:19:45What's that mean? Canada's a fertile, productive country.
0:19:45 > 0:19:50It's very rich in resources - the prairies, the great lakes..
0:19:50 > 0:19:58They say you haven't lived unless you've seen the snow-capped Rockies at dawn. It must be wonderful
0:19:58 > 0:20:04I've always had a desire to see the great outdoors, those frozen wastes.
0:20:04 > 0:20:07Try Hartlepool in February!
0:20:07 > 0:20:13Is he being rude? Mum! When have you ever wanted to see the great outdoors?
0:20:13 > 0:20:20All my life. Your father stops me. He'll hardly go to Scarborough on a day trip!
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Saskatchewan!
0:20:23 > 0:20:26Well, what about Saskatchewan?
0:20:26 > 0:20:33It's in Canada. Susan says Canada isn't so marvellous - same as here but with central heating.
0:20:33 > 0:20:36How can it be the same as here
0:20:36 > 0:20:41It stretches from the icy wastes of the Arctic to the borders of the US.
0:20:41 > 0:20:47Don't judge it on its size! Most of it is snow and ice and Eskimos.
0:20:47 > 0:20:53Nonsense! Canada is rich in minerals, forests, water power and fertile plains.
0:20:53 > 0:20:58Did you get O-level Geography? Aye, and a prize at speech day.
0:20:58 > 0:21:07Did you, Bobbie? Yes, Mrs Chambers. It was given by the Lord Provost - Harmsworth's Atlas of the World
0:21:07 > 0:21:10He's quoted it parrot-fashion ever since.
0:21:10 > 0:21:14Susan says the cities are boring. Quebec's nice.
0:21:14 > 0:21:19Northern Quebec has severe winters. Bob! In the south it's less severe.
0:21:19 > 0:21:22Bob! Shut...up! Anyway...
0:21:22 > 0:21:27we'll see Canada ourselves, when we visit you, when you're married.
0:21:27 > 0:21:31Maybe I won't be there. What do you mean?
0:21:31 > 0:21:36I've been there five years. Maybe that's enough. But you've loved it!
0:21:36 > 0:21:43You said so in your letters! Besides, it's a land of opportunity. Like Bob says, it's rich in...
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Minerals, forests and water power. Exactly!
0:21:46 > 0:21:50It's where your fiance is, or have you forgotten Peter?
0:21:50 > 0:21:53His picture is by your bedside
0:21:53 > 0:21:57He's struggled to become an accountant,
0:21:57 > 0:22:01to give you a rich future in this brave new world!
0:22:01 > 0:22:04All right, Mum! Let's forget it Very well.
0:22:04 > 0:22:08I'm going to wash up. You go and get packed.
0:22:08 > 0:22:14I don't go till tomorrow! Fancy a walk, Susan, a bit of air? Good idea!
0:22:14 > 0:22:18A walk?! To work off some of the trifle
0:22:18 > 0:22:25You hardly ate it! They want a walk. But the football's on! You can t go out with the football on?
0:22:25 > 0:22:28Bob! They want to go for a walk!
0:22:28 > 0:22:34Who? It's raining. You should be packing, and I've put the kettle on.
0:22:34 > 0:22:36Come on. We won't be long.
0:22:36 > 0:22:38Oh!
0:22:38 > 0:22:41I get it, I get it!
0:22:41 > 0:22:44Quick as a flash!
0:22:44 > 0:22:48Something's going on, and you did nothing!
0:22:48 > 0:22:53Me?! Bob, what's WRONG with you? You're driving us all mad!
0:22:53 > 0:22:55What have I said now?!
0:22:55 > 0:23:02What have I said now?! You know your sister! The trouble we had with her!
0:23:02 > 0:23:07We spent money on boarding school, and she comes home for the holidays,
0:23:07 > 0:23:11and runs off with a boy who minds donkeys in Whitley Bay!
0:23:11 > 0:23:15Mum, she was 13, and you know how she liked riding!
0:23:15 > 0:23:21What about the one in the pop group, the drummer with dirty fingernails?
0:23:21 > 0:23:25Even your father wouldn't have him round the house!
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Look, I did much worse things!
0:23:28 > 0:23:31But you always knew when to say no!
0:23:31 > 0:23:33That's true!
0:23:36 > 0:23:40Susan is a grown woman. It's her life. Let her live it.
0:23:40 > 0:23:46She says she'll leave Canada, and five years is enough. What am I to think?
0:23:46 > 0:23:52She probably meant her and Peter are moving on. He's mentioned California.
0:23:52 > 0:23:59California? Its great mountains, deserts and valleys stretch from the blue...
0:23:59 > 0:24:01Shut up!
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Well - things have to be said.
0:24:15 > 0:24:21Yes. Things we can't say in front of your mother. You got her worried.
0:24:21 > 0:24:27Still, she's right about Canada There's nothing here to compare with that.
0:24:27 > 0:24:32Seeing the Tyne at dawn should help you appreciate the Rockies
0:24:32 > 0:24:37It's a land of opportunity - as we know from Ferris, the human atlas.
0:24:37 > 0:24:41Are you encouraging me to go back? I'm stating facts.
0:24:41 > 0:24:48It depends what you think your future is. It won't be a glowing, golden one here.
0:24:52 > 0:24:54I AM going back.
0:24:56 > 0:25:01You're the one that made going away a problem, and clouded the issue.
0:25:03 > 0:25:07The issue's clear now, is it? I think so.
0:25:08 > 0:25:12I've had a lovely two weeks, honestly...
0:25:13 > 0:25:16..but I'm going back.
0:25:17 > 0:25:22Why are you smiling? I suppose you call that being let off the hook!
0:25:22 > 0:25:27I had a lovely two weeks, but I'm glad you're going back
0:25:27 > 0:25:32Oh, Terry! I'm so relieved...that you don't think I'm right for you!
0:25:32 > 0:25:39I'm relieved you don't think I'm right for YOU! Let's tell your mother the good news.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44We might not make it that easy for her.
0:25:44 > 0:25:46Come on!
0:25:46 > 0:25:49They're back! They're back!
0:25:50 > 0:25:54She looks happy enough! Well, it's her decision.
0:25:54 > 0:25:59If she loses that excursion, she won't get a refund! She won't! Shh!
0:25:59 > 0:26:03Mother, keep calm. I'm perfectly calm.
0:26:03 > 0:26:06Oh! You're just in time for tea
0:26:06 > 0:26:09Thelma, Mother...
0:26:09 > 0:26:14Mrs Chambers, you are probably aware that Susan and I have been...
0:26:14 > 0:26:17For the last two weeks, we've er...
0:26:17 > 0:26:20Yes, you've made it perfectly clear.
0:26:20 > 0:26:24Yes, well, we've come to a mutual decision.
0:26:25 > 0:26:28Susan'll go back to Canada tomorrow.
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Ah! It's all for the best, kidda.
0:26:30 > 0:26:33I'm sure it's the right decision!
0:26:33 > 0:26:36But only on one condition!
0:26:36 > 0:26:40Peter must agree to bring up Terry's baby as his own!
0:26:50 > 0:26:58You got 'em in - good lad! Cheers! I thought you'd have had that off! It comes off tomorrow. See that
0:26:58 > 0:27:01The girl who cleans the telephones.
0:27:01 > 0:27:04She has a charming turn of phrase!
0:27:04 > 0:27:11I'll wipe it off before I go home. Thelma had a postcard from Susan today. Oh, aye?
0:27:11 > 0:27:19It was a picture of a mountie She had a pleasant flight and hoped her mother recovered from that joke.
0:27:19 > 0:27:21I've only just recovered myself
0:27:22 > 0:27:26It'll hurt for a while, but that's only to be expected
0:27:26 > 0:27:32Well, keep your weight off it for a few days! Pardon?
0:27:32 > 0:27:35If it hurts, keep your weight off it!
0:27:35 > 0:27:38Oh, no, no!
0:27:38 > 0:27:45I was referring...to your hurt to Susan. I'm not hurt over Susan, you sentimental old... Not at all?!
0:27:45 > 0:27:52Well, saying goodbye wasn't easy, and we were both a bit choked, but as I walked back,
0:27:52 > 0:27:57I knew I had to get her out of my system. Time's a great healer.
0:27:57 > 0:28:01Didn't take me long - I pulled the girl at the check-in.
0:28:01 > 0:28:05You didn't?! Electric stockings and all!
0:28:05 > 0:28:08You...! Susan wasn't even airborne!
0:28:08 > 0:28:14I had to bounce back like a trapeze artist. I had to get back up there.
0:28:14 > 0:28:18A stewardess! I'm seeing her in ten minutes, so I can't stop
0:28:18 > 0:28:25What? This was OUR night out! I can't pass it up. She's in Hanover tomorrow.
0:28:25 > 0:28:31You're leaving me, in other words? Yes! You ARE a selfish little so-and so!
0:28:31 > 0:28:36I enjoy our nights out! It's the second time in two weeks!
0:28:36 > 0:28:43What am I going to do? With half the office drooling over you? Ring up Maureen or Wendy!
0:28:43 > 0:28:47Or go and see April, and get your leg scratched!
0:28:47 > 0:28:51Or you COULD just go home to your wife!
0:29:17 > 0:29:23Intelfax Subtitles by Julia Watts for BBC Subtitling, 1995