0:00:02 > 0:00:04Tony!
0:00:04 > 0:00:06This young man, Ian, is an angel.
0:00:06 > 0:00:08Well, I don't know about that, Mrs Forrest.
0:00:08 > 0:00:11What are you doing?!
0:00:11 > 0:00:13(You're going to get us their address.)
0:00:17 > 0:00:20(There's a mole in the police.)
0:00:20 > 0:00:22'Leave immediately.'
0:00:22 > 0:00:24As soon as we get news about Jackie, we need to get out of here.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26That guy could have followed us.
0:00:26 > 0:00:27Shit!
0:00:30 > 0:00:33Disguises. This guy, he'll be in overnight, right?
0:00:33 > 0:00:37I had a quick swizz down his chart. He ain't coming out.
0:00:37 > 0:00:40I think we've found a bed for the night.
0:00:40 > 0:00:42GUNSHOT FIRES
0:01:03 > 0:01:06METAL RATTLES
0:01:06 > 0:01:09SHE WHIMPERS
0:01:20 > 0:01:22SHE GASPS
0:01:22 > 0:01:25ECHOING: What's happening? Where am I?
0:01:25 > 0:01:29Where do you think you are, Scumbo?
0:01:29 > 0:01:31You shot an innocent woman.
0:01:31 > 0:01:35You are in the back of a prison van on the way to Clinky, Rhona.
0:01:35 > 0:01:38- What? DEMONIC VOICE:- Rhona!
0:01:40 > 0:01:42- FEMALE VOICE:- Rhona!
0:01:42 > 0:01:45- Rhona! - SHE GASPS
0:01:45 > 0:01:49Sorry. Yeah, sorry. I was...
0:01:49 > 0:01:51- Where are we? - We are in the caravan, remember?
0:01:51 > 0:01:53Yes, right.
0:01:53 > 0:01:56And what it is, is I woke up and this was happening.
0:01:59 > 0:02:02(Shit!)
0:02:03 > 0:02:07- Do you think it could be the gang?- No.
0:02:07 > 0:02:09No, they'd just kill us instantly,
0:02:09 > 0:02:11not tow us down the middle lane of the motorway at 50mph.
0:02:11 > 0:02:15It could be caravan theft. There's a lot of that around.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Could be on our way to a traveller's site.
0:02:17 > 0:02:20Maybe that's not a bad hideout.
0:02:20 > 0:02:24Marry 16-year-old boys, clean all day in low-cut tops...
0:02:24 > 0:02:28- No, it's just the caravan owner going on a little jaunt.- Mm...
0:02:31 > 0:02:33Balls!
0:02:33 > 0:02:35Why did we have to break into a caravan?
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Why don't we just sleep in the park like normal vagrants?
0:02:38 > 0:02:40I think it's a very positive thing, actually.
0:02:40 > 0:02:42How?
0:02:42 > 0:02:45We are getting a free lift away from Swindon and all that danger.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49And we've not had to give a single hand job to a lorry driver.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Yes, to the first bit but, if she finds us in here,
0:02:52 > 0:02:54then she's going to call the police.
0:02:54 > 0:03:00- So what we do?- Well, I guess just sit tight, keep our heads down and,
0:03:00 > 0:03:03as soon as she stops, run for it.
0:03:08 > 0:03:12HIP HOP PLAYS
0:03:26 > 0:03:30- ANSWERPHONE:- Please leave your message after the tone.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35KNOCK ON DOOR
0:03:45 > 0:03:47All right?
0:03:47 > 0:03:49- Yeah.- I want you to get all your crew together,
0:03:49 > 0:03:50everyone you've got selling,
0:03:50 > 0:03:52get down The Badger at 12 for an audience with the boss man, yeah?
0:03:56 > 0:03:58- Right, what's going on now? - That's midday.
0:03:59 > 0:04:03Not ten past. Not 20 fucking five past.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08Cup of tea...
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Have you heard? Tony Forrest's wife's called in.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23He didn't come home last night.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Er, yes, I'm probably only his best friend
0:04:25 > 0:04:26out everyone here at the station,
0:04:26 > 0:04:28so who do you think she spoke to?
0:04:28 > 0:04:30Look, they are having difficulty.
0:04:30 > 0:04:34- You happy? - I think he might be our mole.
0:04:35 > 0:04:38I would advise you to choose your words incredibly carefully, Wilton.
0:04:38 > 0:04:41There's an assassination attempt on our witnesses.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44They get a tip-off about a mole on the same night that Boris opens...
0:04:44 > 0:04:45Shhh...
0:04:45 > 0:04:48Sergeant Forrest and I are very close friends.
0:04:48 > 0:04:50Our dogs get along.
0:04:50 > 0:04:52I've been at his house on several Boxing Days.
0:04:52 > 0:04:55Now, I'm just going to pretend you didn't just say any of that.
0:04:59 > 0:05:02Right, we are on the M4 westbound.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05I think we deserve to go on holly-pops
0:05:05 > 0:05:07after all what we've been through.
0:05:07 > 0:05:10Now, Rhona, I know you like rye bread and organic butter
0:05:10 > 0:05:14but we are camping now, so it's white slice and marge.
0:05:14 > 0:05:17Leanne, can you maybe not do that? We are trying to be discreet here.
0:05:17 > 0:05:19Stand back. I'm going to flip a pancake.
0:05:19 > 0:05:22PAN CLATTERS NOISILY
0:05:22 > 0:05:24The first one is always shit.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43BUZZ OF CHATTER
0:05:50 > 0:05:52How's your bum boy, then?
0:05:52 > 0:05:55DOOR SLAMS, CHATTER STOPS
0:06:04 > 0:06:06Ian's dead.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11Yeah, you fucking heard me right.
0:06:18 > 0:06:21Ian's dead.
0:06:24 > 0:06:27Down in a car park, middle of fucking nowhere.
0:06:29 > 0:06:32Run over like a fucking dog.
0:06:35 > 0:06:38So, first off, we are having a whip round!
0:06:38 > 0:06:42Some of you know Mandy, Ian's fiancee, and his little lad.
0:06:42 > 0:06:45Here you are. 200 fucking quid.
0:06:47 > 0:06:50Get your hands in your pockets, dig deep.
0:06:50 > 0:06:55Now, who's going to tell me what happened?
0:07:00 > 0:07:03What's he doing in a car park in the middle of fucking nowhere?
0:07:06 > 0:07:09Yes, thank you! Speak!
0:07:09 > 0:07:11Er...I was with Ian yesterday.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14I was with this copper, who gives us information.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16Yeah, yeah, I know. Danny boy, likes a wank.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21He gave us the address of those two girls,
0:07:21 > 0:07:23the ones that saw Mogs.
0:07:23 > 0:07:28And... Yeah, when I left him, he had gone to the copper, Ian did.
0:07:29 > 0:07:31So this fucker's done it, then, has he?
0:07:33 > 0:07:35And these witnesses.
0:07:35 > 0:07:38So that's all dealt with, then, is it?
0:07:38 > 0:07:41- Well...- Fuck me! Come on! What?
0:07:41 > 0:07:43When I got to the flat, I heard a gunshot.
0:07:43 > 0:07:44So?
0:07:45 > 0:07:48- So I hung back. - Why? You had a gun as well.
0:07:48 > 0:07:51You know, assess the situation.
0:07:51 > 0:07:52Oh, right, assess!
0:07:53 > 0:07:55Well, that's good, isn't it?
0:07:55 > 0:07:58Hey, he was assessing the situation!
0:07:58 > 0:08:01He hadn't just fucking shit himself!
0:08:01 > 0:08:02What then?
0:08:03 > 0:08:05Then an ambulance came
0:08:05 > 0:08:07and they brought the fat bird out on a stretcher.
0:08:07 > 0:08:09Then the two girls came out.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Obviously, I couldn't do it, really, you know what I mean?
0:08:11 > 0:08:14There's people about. They gave me a name, though.
0:08:14 > 0:08:17Yeah, Charlie Little Pockets.
0:08:17 > 0:08:18Charlie Little Pockets?
0:08:19 > 0:08:21Fuck me! I know that name.
0:08:22 > 0:08:25And what about these fucking girls, then?
0:08:25 > 0:08:27They... They went off in the ambulance.
0:08:27 > 0:08:28Fucking hell!
0:08:28 > 0:08:30I followed them, all the way to the hospital.
0:08:30 > 0:08:31Come here, you.
0:08:33 > 0:08:34Come here!
0:08:35 > 0:08:37Look at me, look at me!
0:08:39 > 0:08:44Ian didn't die so you could assess the fucking situation, did he?
0:08:44 > 0:08:46Leave these fucking girls running around.
0:08:46 > 0:08:48Now, this is fucking serious!
0:08:48 > 0:08:50A man has died, a good man.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53So you...
0:08:53 > 0:08:55gotta take out these witnesses.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57You see that...?
0:08:57 > 0:08:59- Yeah.- Yeah?- Yeah.- Yeah?
0:08:59 > 0:09:02Finish the fucking job!
0:09:22 > 0:09:23Mm-mm.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28SHE CLICKS TONGUE
0:09:30 > 0:09:32SHE GASPS
0:09:42 > 0:09:46Leanne...OMG is not a word.
0:09:46 > 0:09:50So that's why it comes up on my predictive text, then, is it?
0:09:50 > 0:09:51We're slowing down.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53We're slowing down!
0:09:53 > 0:09:55That's nine points to me.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57Yes, we are. We're pulling into services.
0:09:57 > 0:09:59Is it a Welcome Break? Cos they're my favourite.
0:09:59 > 0:10:01Right, put that away. Get ready, let's go!
0:10:34 > 0:10:36I think we got away with it.
0:10:40 > 0:10:44Mrs Ambrose is cheating on Mr Ambrose!
0:10:44 > 0:10:46I'm sorry, but that is disgusting, actually.
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Come on.
0:10:48 > 0:10:50I'm glad I cleaned her out of her pancake mix now.
0:10:53 > 0:10:57We're going to have a proper big send-off for Ian, do it right,
0:10:57 > 0:10:59send his kid to Disney World.
0:11:01 > 0:11:05The Florida one, eh - not the fucking Euro bollocks.
0:11:05 > 0:11:08Apart from that, business as usual.
0:11:08 > 0:11:10One part of you is going to be running things.
0:11:10 > 0:11:12Now, is there anything else I need to know
0:11:12 > 0:11:14before I go upstairs and fuck my missus?
0:11:16 > 0:11:17No?
0:11:19 > 0:11:21I killed a grass.
0:11:25 > 0:11:27- What?- Nothing.
0:11:29 > 0:11:30What did you just say, son?
0:11:32 > 0:11:35It's just, uh, this lad I worked with.
0:11:37 > 0:11:38He knows him.
0:11:41 > 0:11:43He was going to speak to the police.
0:11:45 > 0:11:46So I shot him.
0:11:49 > 0:11:50He's dead.
0:11:51 > 0:11:53Fucking hell.
0:12:02 > 0:12:04And who's told you to do that, then, son?
0:12:06 > 0:12:08Because I certainly fucking didn't.
0:12:10 > 0:12:12I just thought, you know...
0:12:13 > 0:12:15..can't have grasses.
0:12:17 > 0:12:18Stand up.
0:12:21 > 0:12:23Stand up!
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Get your pants down.
0:12:27 > 0:12:28What?
0:12:28 > 0:12:31Get your fucking pants down.
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Underpants. Come on. Let 'em fucking see.
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Come here.
0:12:51 > 0:12:55Now, those...are a pair of fucking bollocks.
0:12:59 > 0:13:02He's got them. You haven't.
0:13:02 > 0:13:04No, no, don't hide them, son. Let them see.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07Clap.
0:13:10 > 0:13:12Give his balls a round of a-fucking-pplause.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15Come on! Clap!
0:13:15 > 0:13:17STILTED APPLAUSE
0:13:19 > 0:13:21Fucking well done, son.
0:13:21 > 0:13:24- Here, what kind of crisps do you like?- Uh, Quavers.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Quavers! Give him some Quavers.
0:13:28 > 0:13:30Give him the whole box, you fucking tight bastard!
0:13:30 > 0:13:31Come on.
0:13:33 > 0:13:37Fucking good work, son. Fucking nice one!
0:13:37 > 0:13:39You could learn from him.
0:13:39 > 0:13:42I should have given the fucking address to him.
0:13:42 > 0:13:43Well done, mate.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51You can pull them up now, mate.
0:13:58 > 0:14:00So...what now?
0:14:04 > 0:14:06Could we just live here for a bit?
0:14:06 > 0:14:08- What, in the services?- Yeah.
0:14:08 > 0:14:10Like Tom Hanks in that film.
0:14:10 > 0:14:13Or that guy that I went out with when I was 17.
0:14:13 > 0:14:15God, he was mature!
0:14:15 > 0:14:17I want to find a phone box, call the hospital,
0:14:17 > 0:14:20- see if there's any news about Jackie.- Yeah, good idea.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22And then we need a plan,
0:14:22 > 0:14:24figure out how we get ourselves out of this.
0:14:25 > 0:14:27At least we've still got the... MOUTHS: gun.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29SHE PATS POCKET REPEATEDLY
0:14:39 > 0:14:43- BOTH:- Shit!
0:14:46 > 0:14:48Shit, I can't find the keys! Oh, my God!
0:14:48 > 0:14:51- BOTH:- # Baby, I got you... #
0:14:51 > 0:14:55- Oh, my God! Is it that one?- Yes!- Yes!
0:14:55 > 0:14:57# Ah-ah, ah-ah... #
0:14:57 > 0:14:59Open that coke for me, will you?
0:15:00 > 0:15:03- OK...- Put it in!- I can't! Oh, my God, It's the wrong key!
0:15:03 > 0:15:05- Hurry up!- I'm trying!
0:15:06 > 0:15:07Yes! OK...
0:15:11 > 0:15:15# Before it's done our money's all been spent... #
0:15:15 > 0:15:17They haven't a clue, these two.
0:15:17 > 0:15:21Closer! I believe in you. I believe in you. Just jump.
0:15:21 > 0:15:23- Just jump. You can skip. - Wait, wait, wait! Wait, wait!
0:15:23 > 0:15:26- Come on.- Oh, God!
0:15:27 > 0:15:31- Oh, my God.- Shit, shit, shit! - Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
0:15:34 > 0:15:35Whoa!
0:15:35 > 0:15:38- Oh!- Sorry!
0:15:38 > 0:15:40Not to be helped, not to be helped.
0:15:42 > 0:15:43Oh, thank God.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47And we're back on the motorway.
0:15:47 > 0:15:48Right...
0:15:50 > 0:15:52How about another bacon sarnie?
0:15:52 > 0:15:54And since I'll have then cooked twice,
0:15:54 > 0:15:56maybe somebody would like to do the washing up?
0:15:59 > 0:16:00Oh, Leanne!
0:16:02 > 0:16:04So then, mate, you...
0:16:06 > 0:16:07..got rid of the body properly, then, yeah?
0:16:07 > 0:16:09Yeah, of course.
0:16:10 > 0:16:11Top.
0:16:13 > 0:16:15What do you mean, properly?
0:16:15 > 0:16:18Well, it's like the stuff you've got to do afterwards, isn't it?
0:16:18 > 0:16:20Just, like, the basic stuff.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22Yeah...I know.
0:16:23 > 0:16:24Right.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29So...you burnt all the fingers, then?
0:16:29 > 0:16:30You know, the fingerprints?
0:16:30 > 0:16:33You've got to get them off cos that's just standard procedure.
0:16:35 > 0:16:39And then, obviously, you must have bashed the teeth in?
0:16:39 > 0:16:41You know, dental records and that, that's...
0:16:41 > 0:16:42You did do that, didn't you?
0:16:45 > 0:16:46And, obviously, the big one...
0:16:48 > 0:16:50..is you've got to get the spunk out.
0:16:50 > 0:16:52What?
0:16:52 > 0:16:56The spunk. You've got to get the spunk out the bollocks.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59You know, it's just DNA, isn't it?
0:17:00 > 0:17:03Apparently, if you don't get the spunk out within 48 hours, then...
0:17:05 > 0:17:08HE EXHALES DEEPLY
0:17:15 > 0:17:17I can't stop thinking about Jackie.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20God, I hope she's OK.
0:17:23 > 0:17:25Do you want me to read you your horoscope?
0:17:25 > 0:17:27No, that stuff's bollocks.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29I believe Russell Grant is a wise man.
0:17:29 > 0:17:32I believe Russell Grant is a holy man.
0:17:34 > 0:17:36Aquarius.
0:17:36 > 0:17:39Jupiter in your orbit makes this week an ideal time
0:17:39 > 0:17:44for frank exchanges with loved ones and baking. Hmm...
0:17:47 > 0:17:49- Leanne, this isn't even this week's. - Isn't it?
0:17:49 > 0:17:52- What's the date?- The 21st.
0:17:52 > 0:17:54Is it? Oh.
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Oh...
0:17:58 > 0:18:01PHONE RINGS
0:18:01 > 0:18:03- Wilton. - 'Hello, Detective Wilton?
0:18:03 > 0:18:05'This is Mrs Pugh, Gareth's mum.'
0:18:05 > 0:18:06Oh, yeah, hello, Mrs Pugh.
0:18:06 > 0:18:10'It's probably nothing, really, but Gareth didn't come home last night.
0:18:10 > 0:18:13'And it's not like him. He'd send me a text at least.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16'He's a good boy. It's probably nothing.
0:18:16 > 0:18:18'He'll probably walk through the front door in ten minutes
0:18:18 > 0:18:20'wanting a Cheestring.'
0:18:20 > 0:18:22No, you absolutely did the right thing in calling, Mrs Pugh.
0:18:22 > 0:18:25Though I'm sure, as you say, it's nothing.
0:18:25 > 0:18:27Leave it with me and I'll see what we can do.
0:18:31 > 0:18:33Right. Gareth Pugh's gone missing.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36Who's that?
0:18:36 > 0:18:38The boy I brought in yesterday.
0:18:38 > 0:18:41The one I wanted surveillance on. His mother's just called in.
0:18:41 > 0:18:42Oh, crawl out of your arse, Wilton!
0:18:42 > 0:18:44You drag the poor boy in the station,
0:18:44 > 0:18:45you put the frighteners on him -
0:18:45 > 0:18:47I'm not surprised he's done a runner.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49This has something to do with the Whelan gang,
0:18:49 > 0:18:53and we need officers out there, searching for him.
0:18:53 > 0:18:54we could be looking for a body here.
0:18:54 > 0:18:57Oh! Bravo, Wilton!
0:18:57 > 0:18:59Hollywood beckons!
0:18:59 > 0:19:01He's been missing, what? Ten hours!
0:19:01 > 0:19:04It's just another missing teenager in Bristol.
0:19:04 > 0:19:05It'll be shit.
0:19:07 > 0:19:11Believe it or not, someone has to pay for all this, you know?
0:19:11 > 0:19:12You know who it is, don't you?
0:19:12 > 0:19:16That much maligned endangered species, the UK taxpayer!
0:19:27 > 0:19:29Hey, Claire.
0:19:29 > 0:19:30While I've got you...
0:19:31 > 0:19:33..how do you feel about Italian food?
0:19:33 > 0:19:35What?
0:19:35 > 0:19:38There's this new place opened up near me.
0:19:38 > 0:19:39I've got a voucher.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42Wondered if you'd might like to try it tonight?
0:19:42 > 0:19:44What? No!
0:19:44 > 0:19:46Oh...
0:19:46 > 0:19:49Did you seriously just ask me out on a date?
0:19:49 > 0:19:52No. No! No, not a date.
0:19:52 > 0:19:54What, then?
0:19:54 > 0:19:58All it is is I'm...spending a bit of time
0:19:58 > 0:20:00approaching everyone in the station,
0:20:00 > 0:20:02just trying to get to know everyone a little bit better,
0:20:02 > 0:20:04that's...that's all it is.
0:20:04 > 0:20:06Well, have you asked anyone else?
0:20:06 > 0:20:07Spanish Inquisition!
0:20:11 > 0:20:14No, not yet, but...but I will be.
0:20:16 > 0:20:17I like Italian food.
0:20:23 > 0:20:24Great.
0:20:33 > 0:20:37Do you want to...come for dinner tonight?
0:20:37 > 0:20:38Yes, please.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43Good.
0:20:44 > 0:20:45Good.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49You all right in there? Nice.
0:20:58 > 0:21:00We've stopped.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24Come on, Edie. I can't wait for the campsite.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27I've been stiff as an 'orse since Yarcombe.
0:21:27 > 0:21:29Come on.
0:21:29 > 0:21:30Shut them curtains, Clement.
0:21:32 > 0:21:35Then come and give me a hand with these buttons.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37And when you're done, I've got another button
0:21:37 > 0:21:39you can give me a hand with.
0:21:40 > 0:21:42You mean your tuppence?
0:21:42 > 0:21:44Your wish is my command, madam.
0:21:44 > 0:21:47I am your faithful steed.
0:21:47 > 0:21:50Hurry up and get those cords off!
0:21:50 > 0:21:52I want you inside me.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54OK. Hello! THEY SCREAM
0:21:54 > 0:21:57I just thought I would stop that, for all our sakes, and say...
0:21:57 > 0:22:00hello. Sorry. We're in your caravan.
0:22:00 > 0:22:04- Who the hell are you?! - Please! We're old-age pensioners.
0:22:04 > 0:22:08- I'm calling the police, Edie. - No! Wait! Wait, wait. Don't.
0:22:08 > 0:22:10Leanne, who are we, and what do we want?
0:22:11 > 0:22:13Well...
0:22:14 > 0:22:17..you're Mrs Ambrose, I presume?
0:22:17 > 0:22:18Yes.
0:22:18 > 0:22:21You don't have to answer their questions, Edie!
0:22:21 > 0:22:24Wife of Mr Ambrose?
0:22:25 > 0:22:30Currently in an induced coma at Swindon General?
0:22:31 > 0:22:32We're his staff nurses.
0:22:33 > 0:22:34Yes!
0:22:36 > 0:22:40And we've grown rather fond of Mr Ambrose.
0:22:40 > 0:22:42We call him Grandpops.
0:22:42 > 0:22:45We suspected something was going on.
0:22:46 > 0:22:47Visits dropping off.
0:22:47 > 0:22:49SHE TUTS
0:22:49 > 0:22:52And when you did come, hmm...
0:22:52 > 0:22:54you stopped wearing your perfume.
0:22:54 > 0:22:56A woman knows.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02- I've been weak.- Yes.
0:23:02 > 0:23:04We both have.
0:23:04 > 0:23:06Jack was...IS a dear friend of mine.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09Christ, we served together!
0:23:11 > 0:23:13In Little Chef.
0:23:14 > 0:23:18Please, don't tell Jack.
0:23:18 > 0:23:19It'd kill him.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23In combination with the blood clot on his brain.
0:23:23 > 0:23:27Oh, look, we understand. We are not monsters.
0:23:27 > 0:23:30Your generation, you lived through the war.
0:23:30 > 0:23:33You had rationing. You ate powdered egg.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35Can anyone really blame you if you want to spend
0:23:35 > 0:23:37the autumn years of your life bumping and grinding
0:23:37 > 0:23:39your way around Devon?
0:23:39 > 0:23:41All right.
0:23:41 > 0:23:42Maybe we don't have to tell him.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46Maybe we could come to some sort of arrangement.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48Such as?
0:23:48 > 0:23:50Call it 40 quid each and a lift back to Taunton.
0:23:54 > 0:23:57Conservative estimates say
0:23:57 > 0:24:00there could be as many as 40 billion earthlike planets out there.
0:24:00 > 0:24:02And now they're all coming out and saying,
0:24:02 > 0:24:04"Oh, you know, I believe there is life."
0:24:04 > 0:24:05Scientists.
0:24:07 > 0:24:08Brian May.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13Mm! Mm-mm-mm!
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Taste that.
0:24:19 > 0:24:21Fennel.
0:24:23 > 0:24:24No, I'm good, thanks.
0:24:24 > 0:24:26Right, if aliens had never been here, John,
0:24:26 > 0:24:28explain to me the pyramids.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32Now, I've been to Egypt - Sharm El Sheikh -
0:24:32 > 0:24:33and I've met the Egyptians.
0:24:33 > 0:24:37John, they haven't got it in them.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39I will have...
0:24:41 > 0:24:44I will have, I will have...
0:24:44 > 0:24:47I will have the...cheesecake!
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Just the bill.
0:24:51 > 0:24:52Two spoons.
0:24:57 > 0:24:58I'll tell you this for nothing.
0:24:58 > 0:25:00When they come back - and it is a "when", not an "if" -
0:25:00 > 0:25:03I will go straight upstairs and I will top myself...
0:25:05 > 0:25:07..even if they do come in so-called peace.
0:25:18 > 0:25:20It's not just the prospect of warfare with a superior species.
0:25:20 > 0:25:22John, it's germs.
0:25:22 > 0:25:24They will be carrying diseases which our immune systems,
0:25:24 > 0:25:27through no fault of their own, can't cope with.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32Uh, hello, yes.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34I hope I'm through to the right department now.
0:25:34 > 0:25:39I'm calling about my...auntie, Jackie.
0:25:39 > 0:25:41She was brought in as an emergency patient yesterday.
0:25:44 > 0:25:45Yes, that's her.
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Really?
0:25:50 > 0:25:52Oh, my God.
0:25:53 > 0:25:55Jesus Christ! Thank you!
0:25:55 > 0:25:57She's even sitting up in bed now, talking.
0:25:57 > 0:26:00Why can't I have a fucking fag if I want one?!
0:26:00 > 0:26:02It's a free fucking country, innit?
0:26:02 > 0:26:04That's wonderful. Thank you. Thank you so much!
0:26:06 > 0:26:07I'm not a murderer.
0:26:08 > 0:26:10I'm not a murderer!
0:26:10 > 0:26:12Sorry. Have a good night.
0:26:12 > 0:26:14Jackie's OK. The operation was a success.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16She's sat up in bed, and smoking,
0:26:16 > 0:26:18and calling them twats and everything!
0:26:18 > 0:26:20THEY CHEER AND LAUGH
0:26:20 > 0:26:22- Oh, that's great! - I'm not a murderer.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Oh, I'm so proud of you, Rhones!
0:26:26 > 0:26:30Come on, what did you get me? Give me the good shit.
0:26:30 > 0:26:31Pesto and halloumi wrap - is that mine?
0:26:31 > 0:26:34- Hang on. Let me... - What was that?- It's nothing.
0:26:34 > 0:26:35- Is that a Mint Aero?- No.
0:26:35 > 0:26:38Are you trying to keep a Mint Aero to yourself?
0:26:38 > 0:26:39No.
0:26:44 > 0:26:46Oh, fuck.
0:26:50 > 0:26:53I want to ask you a few questions. About those two girls.
0:26:53 > 0:26:55I do know something.
0:26:55 > 0:26:58This is, like, c...confidential, right?
0:26:58 > 0:27:00- Put the gun down. - Leanne, shut up.
0:27:00 > 0:27:02Gav didn't come home on Saturday night.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05He hasn't been seen since. Do you know anything about that?
0:27:06 > 0:27:08There's...something else.
0:27:08 > 0:27:10Leanne...tell him.