0:00:02 > 0:00:04- What's going on? - We've had a call about that lad.
0:00:04 > 0:00:06His mum's had a text from him.
0:00:09 > 0:00:10MAN SHOUTS
0:00:10 > 0:00:12Are you stupid?!
0:00:12 > 0:00:13Get me out of here!
0:00:13 > 0:00:15I do know something.
0:00:15 > 0:00:17- Well, go on, then. - I'll give you the name...
0:00:18 > 0:00:19..for a grand.
0:00:19 > 0:00:21I'm pregnant.
0:00:22 > 0:00:24Are you OK?
0:00:24 > 0:00:25You're definitely sure?
0:00:25 > 0:00:26Yes.
0:00:26 > 0:00:28I did this.
0:00:28 > 0:00:30A line means pregnant.
0:00:33 > 0:00:35Oh, Leanne.
0:00:36 > 0:00:38Uh, Leanne?
0:00:38 > 0:00:39Mm?
0:00:40 > 0:00:42Nothing.
0:00:43 > 0:00:51This programme contains very strong language and adult humour.
0:01:08 > 0:01:11And I do believe you will see him again.
0:01:12 > 0:01:14Probably as a butterfly.
0:01:15 > 0:01:16Yeah.
0:01:16 > 0:01:19Right. Let's figure out how we get this gun on Whelan.
0:01:19 > 0:01:21Rhona,
0:01:21 > 0:01:23Patrick's had some bad news.
0:01:23 > 0:01:27An old friend of his, very sad to say,
0:01:27 > 0:01:29passed on to the next world.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32Oh. Sorry to hear that, Patrick.
0:01:32 > 0:01:35Thanks. It's fine. I haven't seen him in a long time.
0:01:35 > 0:01:36Hey, shh.
0:01:36 > 0:01:38When she says, "old friend,"
0:01:38 > 0:01:41does that mean a kind old man who taught you chess,
0:01:41 > 0:01:42or are we talking...
0:01:44 > 0:01:45You know...
0:01:45 > 0:01:47- Gang banger?- Rhona!
0:01:47 > 0:01:48No, it's fine, it's fine.
0:01:48 > 0:01:49Yeah, he was.
0:01:51 > 0:01:53- He had a kid, as well.- Oh, God.
0:01:53 > 0:01:54It's not right.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57It's just not right.
0:01:58 > 0:01:59Patrick...
0:01:59 > 0:02:03Do you want me to sing Angels by Robbie Williams again?
0:02:04 > 0:02:06Well, this is all the more reason why we need to figure out
0:02:06 > 0:02:08how we get this gun on Willy Whelan.
0:02:08 > 0:02:10I just don't see how it can be done.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Well, couldn't you arrange some sort of meeting with him, Patrick?
0:02:13 > 0:02:15And then what?
0:02:15 > 0:02:16Put it in his...pocket?
0:02:16 > 0:02:19If you want to see Willy Whelan, you have to go to his pub.
0:02:19 > 0:02:21- He's got a pub? - Well, that's perfect.
0:02:21 > 0:02:24We can just nip round for a couple of swift halves,
0:02:24 > 0:02:25and hide it in a nook.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27It's not a pub you can just go to.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29It's not a Toby Carvery.
0:02:29 > 0:02:32Can we just turn up and say we're pub inspectors?
0:02:32 > 0:02:34We might get a couple of free drinks.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36That's not bad, you know. Environmental health.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38- Spot inspection.- No, he'd think it was the police fitting him up,
0:02:38 > 0:02:40he's madly paranoid about that.
0:02:41 > 0:02:45We're chimney sweeps, roaming the country from town to town.
0:02:45 > 0:02:48The problem with all of this is Whelan gave the gun to me.
0:02:50 > 0:02:52If it turns up at his house, I'm dead.
0:02:53 > 0:02:54Oh.
0:02:55 > 0:02:58- Yeah. - Yeah, that is a head-scratcher.
0:03:00 > 0:03:01I'm going to take a shower.
0:03:05 > 0:03:06OPERA MUSIC
0:03:07 > 0:03:09Hang on, hang on.
0:03:10 > 0:03:12You want a grand of my fucking money?
0:03:12 > 0:03:14Listen, she's got the name of this guy,
0:03:14 > 0:03:17the boyfriend, and I reckon that this guy is Charlie Little Pockets.
0:03:17 > 0:03:20So fucking make her talk!
0:03:20 > 0:03:21We don't fucking pay fuckers.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23This woman is a piece of work, I am telling you.
0:03:23 > 0:03:25She don't give a shit.
0:03:25 > 0:03:27If we don't give her the money, she ain't going to talk, end of.
0:03:27 > 0:03:29Fuck me.
0:03:29 > 0:03:30Everyone's a fucking gangster.
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Right, here's what's going to happen.
0:03:36 > 0:03:40One Pack is going to get the cash and drop it round at yours.
0:03:40 > 0:03:42You are going to get that name,
0:03:42 > 0:03:45and you're going to make sure you bring back every fucking penny.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48I leave the details of how in your capable hands.
0:03:50 > 0:03:52Fucking...
0:04:02 > 0:04:04How's it going with your suspect?
0:04:04 > 0:04:06- Bad.- It's not bad.
0:04:06 > 0:04:08It's medium.
0:04:08 > 0:04:09I'll tell you what, that lawyer is good.
0:04:09 > 0:04:11Have you checked the CCTV?
0:04:11 > 0:04:12Well, with respect,
0:04:12 > 0:04:15I don't think he's going to have bummed him right there in the shop.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18- No, but I mean in terms of how the phone got there.- Oh.
0:04:18 > 0:04:20I mean, presumably, a lot of people are in and out of that shop all day.
0:04:20 > 0:04:23- That's what his lawyer said. - Shut up, Naysmith.
0:04:24 > 0:04:26Oh, I'm going to go and get some Nik Naks.
0:04:29 > 0:04:31KNOCK ON DOOR
0:04:31 > 0:04:32Yeah?
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Right, say what you just said.
0:04:34 > 0:04:37What if we made it look like a police fit-up?
0:04:37 > 0:04:39A police fit-up!
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Cos you said he was paranoid about the police fitting him up.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Yeah.
0:04:44 > 0:04:47So, what if we made it look like they'd taken the gun from you...
0:04:47 > 0:04:50Then we planted the gun in Whelan's house,
0:04:50 > 0:04:53tip off the police with the exact location...
0:04:53 > 0:04:55- So then... - So then the police raid his house
0:04:55 > 0:04:57and very, very quickly find the gun.
0:04:57 > 0:04:59What does that look like?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Like they brought the gun with them.
0:05:01 > 0:05:05Yes! Like they stole the gun off you, and used it to fit him up.
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Yeah, and how are you going to make it look like the police took the gun?
0:05:08 > 0:05:10Well, you said they came round the other day.
0:05:10 > 0:05:12Maybe they came back with a warrant, searched the place?
0:05:14 > 0:05:15No, they did that, it would be off books.
0:05:15 > 0:05:17They wouldn't come with a warrant.
0:05:18 > 0:05:19But...
0:05:20 > 0:05:23What if we made it look like someone broke in,
0:05:23 > 0:05:26ransacked the place and took the gun?
0:05:26 > 0:05:29I go to Whelan, tell him what happened,
0:05:29 > 0:05:31and he figures out it was the police
0:05:31 > 0:05:34when they apparently find the gun on him.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Give him the pieces, but let him put them together himself.
0:05:37 > 0:05:39LEANNE GASPS
0:05:39 > 0:05:40Like a Kinder Surprise.
0:05:44 > 0:05:45It's risky, but...
0:05:45 > 0:05:47you could have something there.
0:05:59 > 0:06:01Hang on. What's that guy doing?
0:06:01 > 0:06:03- He didn't buy anything, did he?- No.
0:06:03 > 0:06:05OK, show me that again, would you?
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Stop there.
0:06:09 > 0:06:11There, can you zoom in on that?
0:06:22 > 0:06:24PHONE RINGS
0:06:28 > 0:06:30- Hello?- All right, sunshine.
0:06:30 > 0:06:31Do you own a watch?
0:06:31 > 0:06:34- Yeah.- Good, then you've got no excuse for being late, have you?
0:06:35 > 0:06:36Big man's got a job for you,
0:06:36 > 0:06:38and he's asked for you by name for this one.
0:06:38 > 0:06:39Yeah?
0:06:39 > 0:06:42Yeah, "Get me Quavers, the lad who likes to get his bollocks out."
0:06:42 > 0:06:44Be at The Badger tomorrow morning, 8AM, yes?
0:06:44 > 0:06:45Yeah.
0:06:48 > 0:06:50# This is why we hustle
0:06:50 > 0:06:52# Every day I'm hustlin'
0:06:52 > 0:06:54# Every day I'm hustlin'
0:06:54 > 0:06:55# Every day I'm
0:06:55 > 0:06:56# Every day I'm
0:06:56 > 0:06:57# Every day I'm hustlin'
0:06:57 > 0:07:00# Who you suckers think you're trippin' with?
0:07:00 > 0:07:01# Yes, I'm the boss. #
0:07:13 > 0:07:15Delicious.
0:07:15 > 0:07:16Thanks, Patrick.
0:07:16 > 0:07:19How would you feel about our child learning a musical instrument?
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Oh, I'd love that, actually.
0:07:21 > 0:07:23I was thinking maybe the saxophone.
0:07:23 > 0:07:25He can play jazz, play soft soul.
0:07:25 > 0:07:29Patrick, I would be the proudest woman on earth
0:07:29 > 0:07:32if our baby were a soft soul saxophonist.
0:07:37 > 0:07:39Hey, we should get you a doctor's appointment.
0:07:39 > 0:07:40RHONA COUGHS
0:07:42 > 0:07:44I can get you registered at my local GP.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Want to make sure you've got the right plan in place.
0:07:47 > 0:07:48PHONE RINGS
0:07:51 > 0:07:52Hello?
0:07:54 > 0:07:55Leanne...
0:07:55 > 0:07:58Patrick has been so amazing, you know.
0:07:58 > 0:07:59I said to him yesterday,
0:07:59 > 0:08:03I've had my first baby's name picked out since I was nine years old,
0:08:03 > 0:08:06and for better or for worse, it's Pocahontas.
0:08:06 > 0:08:10And he just said, if it makes me happy...
0:08:11 > 0:08:12..it makes him happy.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15Leanne...
0:08:15 > 0:08:17Do you know, I knew he'd be a good dad...
0:08:19 > 0:08:20..from his attitude to the clitoris.
0:08:23 > 0:08:24Er... Right.
0:08:24 > 0:08:28Leanne, there's something I've been meaning to tell you...
0:08:28 > 0:08:31OK, right, we could have something here.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34I could have a way we could plant the gun on Whelan.
0:08:34 > 0:08:35Really?
0:08:35 > 0:08:39My friend's funeral's on Thursday, and the wake is at Whelan's pub now.
0:08:41 > 0:08:44It's far from perfect, but it's an excuse for me to be in The Badger
0:08:44 > 0:08:45without it seeming suspicious.
0:08:45 > 0:08:49So do you think you could take the gun and stash it somewhere?
0:08:49 > 0:08:52I think it needs to go upstairs in his flat, otherwise
0:08:52 > 0:08:54it's too easy to blame someone else, if it's just in the pub.
0:08:54 > 0:08:55So can you do that?
0:08:55 > 0:08:57I want to be in Willy's eyeline at all times.
0:08:57 > 0:08:58I don't want him looking back,
0:08:58 > 0:09:00thinking, where did Patrick slip off to?
0:09:00 > 0:09:03Well, what if Leanne went with you as your girlfriend,
0:09:03 > 0:09:05and she slipped off and hid it?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07There's going to be a lot of people there.
0:09:07 > 0:09:10Even if there is an opportunity, someone might see you.
0:09:13 > 0:09:14I've got an idea.
0:09:14 > 0:09:19Rhona, do you think you could pull off being Patrick's date?
0:09:19 > 0:09:21- Yes.- OK.
0:09:22 > 0:09:25I'll create a distraction for you to hide the gun.
0:09:26 > 0:09:28Picture the scene.
0:09:28 > 0:09:30A frosty autumn morning,
0:09:30 > 0:09:33mist hangs low over a quiet graveyard.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35It's a cremation.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37Hmm?
0:09:37 > 0:09:44Mist hangs low over the car park of a council-owned crematorium.
0:09:44 > 0:09:45Something's out there.
0:09:46 > 0:09:48Ferns, job for you.
0:09:49 > 0:09:51Phone's back from the lab.
0:09:51 > 0:09:53Forensics were inconclusive.
0:09:53 > 0:09:55I want you to go through everything on that,
0:09:55 > 0:09:58- make a database.- Right.
0:09:58 > 0:10:03- Texts, contacts, social media, Google searches, the lot.- OK.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07Be on the lookout for anything of a sexual nature.
0:10:07 > 0:10:11Anything that might be slang for bumming,
0:10:11 > 0:10:13fingers up the bum, use your imagination.
0:10:13 > 0:10:15Aye-aye, Captain.
0:10:15 > 0:10:17- That includes texts he sent his mum. - Sure.
0:10:17 > 0:10:19She might have missed something, you see.
0:10:19 > 0:10:21At the end of the day, she's the kid's mother.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24She's not necessarily going to be thinking...
0:10:24 > 0:10:28- "Is he in a sexual relationship with a 68-year-old newsagent?"- Naive.
0:10:28 > 0:10:31But as police, we do need to think that.
0:10:31 > 0:10:33- We're paid to think that. - That we are.
0:10:35 > 0:10:37I don't mind saying that for the past 24 hours,
0:10:37 > 0:10:39I've been picturing exactly that.
0:10:43 > 0:10:44Good luck, son.
0:10:48 > 0:10:51- FROM TV:- 'So, the total amount for the tiara, the strap
0:10:51 > 0:10:53'and the petticoat would be 360.'
0:10:53 > 0:10:54'Right, OK.'
0:10:54 > 0:10:55'All right?'
0:10:55 > 0:10:57'I think he can stretch to that, that's not much.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00'I'm refusing to wear it unless he gets these extras.'
0:11:02 > 0:11:04'Could someone call him?'
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Right, Neil is at capoeira till nine
0:11:06 > 0:11:08and Mike is still at his girlfriend's.
0:11:08 > 0:11:09I need you two to beat me up.
0:11:11 > 0:11:13- What?- If I'm going to convince Willy Whelan
0:11:13 > 0:11:15that the gun got taken from me, I need you to beat me up.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17Why?
0:11:17 > 0:11:18The story's going to be
0:11:18 > 0:11:21guys broke in with ski masks and baseball bats.
0:11:21 > 0:11:24They ransacked the place, beat me up and stole the gun.
0:11:24 > 0:11:26And it has to look convincing.
0:11:26 > 0:11:28Is that definitely necessary?
0:11:28 > 0:11:30Can we not just say these people broke in
0:11:30 > 0:11:31while you nipped out to Tesco's?
0:11:31 > 0:11:34No, he has to have absolutely no reason to doubt me.
0:11:34 > 0:11:36Could we not do something with make-up?
0:11:36 > 0:11:38When I saw Phantom,
0:11:38 > 0:11:40I was second row from the front and, honestly,
0:11:40 > 0:11:43I swear it was real. I cried my eyes out.
0:11:43 > 0:11:46Or, what if we said they put lipstick on you
0:11:46 > 0:11:49and pulled your pants down and wrote "faggot" on you with the lipstick,
0:11:49 > 0:11:53- because they were, like, attacking your masculinity?- Mm!
0:11:53 > 0:11:55No. I know Whelan, this is the way it has to be.
0:11:58 > 0:11:59HE EXHALES
0:12:00 > 0:12:02Right, OK.
0:12:02 > 0:12:03Here we go, then.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06I mean, yeah, you've been beaten up before, right?
0:12:06 > 0:12:08I mean, you were in a gang, for God's sake.
0:12:08 > 0:12:10Weirdly, no. I always avoided scuffles.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13I had a nosebleed once. But that was in school.
0:12:14 > 0:12:15You prick!
0:12:17 > 0:12:19Yes, but harder, harder.
0:12:20 > 0:12:22Motherfucker!
0:12:23 > 0:12:25I meant harder with the violence, not the language.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27Sorry.
0:12:27 > 0:12:28LEANNE CLICKS HER TONGUE
0:12:28 > 0:12:29Rhona.
0:12:29 > 0:12:33RHONA AND LEANNE GRUNT AND YELL
0:12:45 > 0:12:49Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
0:12:49 > 0:12:52You definitely look...worse than when we started.
0:12:52 > 0:12:54- Sallow. You look drawn.- Mm.
0:12:58 > 0:13:01Use this. I need a broken nose and at least two missing teeth.
0:13:03 > 0:13:06OK then. Here goes.
0:13:06 > 0:13:07It's coming.
0:13:07 > 0:13:09LEANNE SHRIEKS
0:13:09 > 0:13:10I'm sorry!
0:13:12 > 0:13:15OK. Strike two.
0:13:15 > 0:13:17On its way. Right now.
0:13:17 > 0:13:19Ah!
0:13:19 > 0:13:20I'm so sorry. It was instinct.
0:13:20 > 0:13:22Do you know what?
0:13:22 > 0:13:25Don't worry about it. I'll figure something out.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27I think that's for the best, Patrick.
0:13:27 > 0:13:28Violence is never the answer.
0:13:29 > 0:13:31Is my mouth bleeding?
0:13:46 > 0:13:47Jeff?
0:13:47 > 0:13:49He said I should come in.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51Boss has got a job for me.
0:13:51 > 0:13:52Oh, yeah, Quavers. Good lad.
0:13:59 > 0:14:02Warm, soapy water all over, then rinse it.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05Don't scratch it, don't scuff it, it's worth more than your house.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09And when you're done with that,
0:14:09 > 0:14:11I'll give you a Hoover for the inside.
0:14:20 > 0:14:21Right, I've done a Google.
0:14:21 > 0:14:24There's a joke shop around the corner that sells wigs
0:14:24 > 0:14:25that might just do the trick,
0:14:25 > 0:14:27and then I reckon we just trawl the charity shops
0:14:27 > 0:14:29- for the rest of the stuff, keep costs down.- Mm.
0:14:32 > 0:14:36- Hungry?- I'm eating for two now, Rhones.
0:14:36 > 0:14:38Right, sure.
0:14:39 > 0:14:40Is that a Snickers on there?
0:14:40 > 0:14:42Yeah, cravings.
0:14:42 > 0:14:45It's mad. I ate a spoonful of butter in the night.
0:14:49 > 0:14:51Mm.
0:14:52 > 0:14:53Mm.
0:15:00 > 0:15:01Yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:15:01 > 0:15:03That... all sounds good.
0:15:05 > 0:15:07Soul. That's exactly the kind of thing I'm looking for.
0:15:07 > 0:15:09Do you mind if I take that?
0:15:09 > 0:15:10I'll take one of these, yeah.
0:15:13 > 0:15:14Can I take one?
0:15:14 > 0:15:16All right, cheers, lads.
0:15:38 > 0:15:39Ahem.
0:15:39 > 0:15:40Excuse me, gentlemen?
0:15:42 > 0:15:44I'm sorry to interrupt your game,
0:15:44 > 0:15:46do you mind if I tell you about the Caliphate?
0:15:46 > 0:15:47You what?
0:15:55 > 0:15:56THEY YELL
0:15:58 > 0:16:00Read me that last one again?
0:16:00 > 0:16:03"Got PE today, LOL."
0:16:03 > 0:16:05Hmm.
0:16:05 > 0:16:07And what do we think PE stands for?
0:16:08 > 0:16:10Physical education?
0:16:11 > 0:16:13Yeah. Could be.
0:16:13 > 0:16:14I certainly hope so.
0:16:17 > 0:16:19But it could just as easily be
0:16:19 > 0:16:20penile entry.
0:16:22 > 0:16:24And that could be the penis going into something...
0:16:25 > 0:16:27..or something going into the penis.
0:16:27 > 0:16:28That's also a thing.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Problem ejaculation.
0:16:31 > 0:16:33Yeah. Write it down.
0:16:35 > 0:16:37Probe enema, that's another one.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40Let's not edit ourselves at this stage.
0:16:43 > 0:16:45'Breeds such as the French bulldog and pug
0:16:45 > 0:16:48'have seen an increase in popularity in recent years.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52'But the UK Kennel Club and the British Veterinary Association...'
0:16:52 > 0:16:55You finished? I'll pop out and have a look in a minute.
0:16:57 > 0:16:59Well, put your feet up. Get yourself a beer.
0:16:59 > 0:17:00'..exaggerated features,
0:17:00 > 0:17:03'breeding problems and health issues.
0:17:03 > 0:17:05'This is Andrew Chaplain.'
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Quavers, you dickhead.
0:17:07 > 0:17:08Come and sit up here with the lads.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11..advised to avoid buying flat-faced breeds.'
0:17:11 > 0:17:12Come on.
0:17:12 > 0:17:15'Now, a suspect has been arrested in connection with
0:17:15 > 0:17:18'the disappearance of schoolboy Gareth Pugh.
0:17:18 > 0:17:19Look at this sick bastard.
0:17:19 > 0:17:21'The 68-year-old man, who can't be named for legal reasons
0:17:21 > 0:17:24'but is believed to be from the Eastern district,
0:17:24 > 0:17:26'has been taken in for questioning.
0:17:26 > 0:17:28'Police are appealing for anyone with information
0:17:28 > 0:17:31'on Gareth's whereabouts to please call them.
0:17:31 > 0:17:33'Or you can, of course, tweet them,
0:17:33 > 0:17:36'the address is @Bristolandavonpolice,
0:17:36 > 0:17:39'and please use the hashtag "wheresgareth".'
0:17:41 > 0:17:44Yes, it's about the lad who was on the news.
0:17:44 > 0:17:45The one that went missing.
0:17:45 > 0:17:47Yeah.
0:17:47 > 0:17:49I saw him walking down towards the bit behind the allotments,
0:17:49 > 0:17:51near the railway. Yeah.
0:17:51 > 0:17:55He was with this, like, old Muslim guy,
0:17:55 > 0:17:59and they was, like, holding hands, and getting off, and that.
0:18:01 > 0:18:03OK, good job. Now let's get back ASAP,
0:18:03 > 0:18:04I don't like being out in public.
0:18:04 > 0:18:05Yeah, sure.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08I just want to get myself waxed downstairs.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10I don't think anyone else will see it,
0:18:10 > 0:18:12not unless the plan goes really sideways.
0:18:12 > 0:18:13But just from a meta point of view...
0:18:13 > 0:18:14SHE GASPS
0:18:14 > 0:18:16Rhones!
0:18:16 > 0:18:17Aww!
0:18:19 > 0:18:23You know, I can't wait to hold her little head,
0:18:23 > 0:18:25look into her little eyes,
0:18:25 > 0:18:26pierce her little ears...
0:18:29 > 0:18:30Rhona,
0:18:30 > 0:18:33I haven't discussed this with Patrick yet, but...
0:18:35 > 0:18:37I want you to be fairy godmother.
0:18:37 > 0:18:38Oh, God.
0:18:39 > 0:18:40Um...
0:18:41 > 0:18:43Leanne...
0:18:46 > 0:18:48Yeah.
0:18:48 > 0:18:50Oh, thank you.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54You will have to wear make-up on the day.
0:18:54 > 0:18:55You know that, don't you?
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Mm. Yeah.
0:18:57 > 0:18:58Good.
0:19:04 > 0:19:06Um...
0:19:06 > 0:19:09- Er...- Say that again?
0:19:09 > 0:19:11Er, penile entry, sir.
0:19:11 > 0:19:14We think it could be code for penile entry.
0:19:14 > 0:19:18Which could mean the penis going into something, or it could mean...
0:19:18 > 0:19:20- You've got nothing. - Release the suspect.
0:19:20 > 0:19:21Sorry, Sarge. We've got a tip-off.
0:19:23 > 0:19:25Big news, Wilton. Someone's phoned in.
0:19:25 > 0:19:28A sighting of Gareth Pugh with my suspect.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36If you haven't already, start tracing that call for me.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37- Yeah.- Thanks.
0:19:44 > 0:19:45DOG BARKS
0:19:45 > 0:19:46Sir?
0:19:58 > 0:19:59Gotcha, you bastard.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04If it were a boy, now, obviously, this is totally up to him,
0:20:04 > 0:20:06but I'd love it if he was gay.
0:20:06 > 0:20:08That'd be so beautiful.
0:20:09 > 0:20:11Don't you think I'd be good at that, Rhones?
0:20:11 > 0:20:12Standing up for a gay one?
0:20:15 > 0:20:16Oh. Oh!
0:20:16 > 0:20:18- Are you all right?- Yeah.
0:20:18 > 0:20:20Oh. No.
0:20:20 > 0:20:23Oh, God. I don't know. I've got a weird pain.
0:20:23 > 0:20:25Ah. I think it might be...
0:20:25 > 0:20:28Oh, God, Rhones. I think it might be the baby!
0:20:28 > 0:20:29Actually, I don't think it's the baby.
0:20:29 > 0:20:31It is, Rhones. I think it might be the baby.
0:20:31 > 0:20:33- Oh, God.- It's probably just indigestion.
0:20:33 > 0:20:34You did have quite a big breakfast.
0:20:34 > 0:20:36I need to get to the hospital.
0:20:36 > 0:20:38- Help, my baby! - Leanne, it's not the baby.
0:20:38 > 0:20:40- How do you know? - Just take some deep breaths.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42- Help! Help! Help!- Deep breaths...
0:20:42 > 0:20:44Leanne, there is no baby.
0:20:49 > 0:20:50There never was.
0:20:50 > 0:20:52What?
0:20:52 > 0:20:53You had the tester wrong.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56Two lines means pregnant, one line means not pregnant.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58I checked the packaging.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02I'm sorry.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04Hang on, since when have you known this?
0:21:05 > 0:21:06I, um...
0:21:08 > 0:21:10I checked it before we went to bed.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12The night before last.
0:21:12 > 0:21:14- What?!- I'm sorry, there wasn't a good time.
0:21:14 > 0:21:16Rhona, we watched three Come Dines on the trot!
0:21:16 > 0:21:18That's six advert breaks.
0:21:18 > 0:21:20And...all the recappy bits.
0:21:20 > 0:21:22I'm sorry. Leanne!
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Leanne!
0:21:30 > 0:21:31Selfie.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Selfie, top off.
0:21:38 > 0:21:39That's his penis.
0:21:41 > 0:21:42Cat.
0:21:45 > 0:21:48I THINK that's his penis.
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Of course it is, that's the tip.
0:21:52 > 0:21:54Wilton, we found a body!
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Tip-off was bang on. Ha-ha!
0:22:00 > 0:22:01Oh, yeah.
0:22:01 > 0:22:04Obviously terrible news.
0:22:04 > 0:22:05Senseless, um...
0:22:05 > 0:22:06loss.
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Steve, found a body!
0:22:08 > 0:22:10He shoots, he scores!
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Ma'am, I've traced that number.
0:22:17 > 0:22:18The tip-off call.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26Colin, the call came in from The Badger.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29Owner and proprietor, Willy Whelan.
0:22:29 > 0:22:32Well, so what? It's a pub. Lots of people go into pubs.
0:22:32 > 0:22:33Colin, this is The Badger.
0:22:33 > 0:22:35Knock, knock.
0:22:35 > 0:22:37Sorry if this is a bad time,
0:22:37 > 0:22:39but you might want to take a look at this.
0:22:43 > 0:22:44Shit.
0:22:50 > 0:22:51Leanne?
0:22:58 > 0:23:00# Take me to the docks
0:23:00 > 0:23:03# There is a ship without a name there
0:23:03 > 0:23:05# And it is sailing to the middle of the sea... #
0:23:05 > 0:23:07Leanne, are you OK?
0:23:09 > 0:23:12# The water there is deeper
0:23:12 > 0:23:16# Than anything you've ever seen. #
0:23:16 > 0:23:17Leanne?
0:23:22 > 0:23:23Oh, God.
0:23:26 > 0:23:28In many ways,
0:23:28 > 0:23:30that's my baby.
0:23:39 > 0:23:41Leanne, I'm really sorry.
0:23:43 > 0:23:45You do know we need to keep this up, right?
0:23:46 > 0:23:48- What?!- Just for the next couple of days.
0:23:48 > 0:23:51Patrick's only helping us because he thinks you're pregnant.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Before that, he was all for chucking us out on the street
0:23:54 > 0:23:56with whatever loose change he had in his pocket.
0:23:56 > 0:23:57Are you kidding me?
0:23:58 > 0:24:00Leanne?
0:24:00 > 0:24:01Leanne?
0:24:01 > 0:24:04Look, I didn't plan this, but this may be our only chance.
0:24:04 > 0:24:05No, I'm sorry, Rhona.
0:24:05 > 0:24:07I'm not doing it. Not like this.
0:24:07 > 0:24:08Please just think about this.
0:24:08 > 0:24:10It's not right. I'm telling Patrick.
0:24:10 > 0:24:13We're lying to him. We're putting him in danger.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15Leanne, please just listen.
0:24:15 > 0:24:16Leanne.
0:24:16 > 0:24:18Patrick?
0:24:18 > 0:24:19You all right?
0:24:20 > 0:24:21Patrick.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23What happened?
0:24:24 > 0:24:25I got myself beaten up.
0:24:27 > 0:24:29For the plan. Like I said, it's got to look real.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32So, I've been to Bristol,
0:24:32 > 0:24:37I spoke to Willy, told him what happened, like what we said.
0:24:37 > 0:24:40A couple of people broke in, ransacked the place,
0:24:40 > 0:24:42I told him the gun's gone.
0:24:42 > 0:24:43And...?
0:24:46 > 0:24:47It worked a charm.
0:24:49 > 0:24:50We're on for tomorrow.
0:24:53 > 0:24:54Good.
0:24:54 > 0:24:55Great work.
0:24:57 > 0:24:58Bud!
0:24:58 > 0:25:00HE GROANS Oh, sorry, sorry.
0:25:00 > 0:25:02What was you shouting me for?
0:25:05 > 0:25:06Oh, um...
0:25:06 > 0:25:10I just wanted to tell you that I did a really big poo.
0:25:10 > 0:25:11She saw it.
0:25:13 > 0:25:15Yeah.
0:25:34 > 0:25:36Well, this is it.
0:25:36 > 0:25:37The big day.
0:25:37 > 0:25:41You can tell the people you work for to suck my ass.
0:25:41 > 0:25:44With Sandra,
0:25:44 > 0:25:46it is never over.
0:25:46 > 0:25:47You bitch!
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Whoa, whoa, whoa, ladies!
0:25:51 > 0:25:52Big mistake.
0:25:57 > 0:25:59SCARED PANTING
0:26:01 > 0:26:02GUNSHOT