0:00:02 > 0:00:10This programme contains some violent scenes and strong language
0:00:12 > 0:00:15Don't be showing your face around here without a fucking grand.
0:00:15 > 0:00:19You're back in Wit Pro and this time, you will be cooperating fully.
0:00:19 > 0:00:23I'd like to request that Rhona and I live separately from now on.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25If we go our separate ways, that'll be it.
0:00:25 > 0:00:28- Here we are, lads, he's come home! - HE LAUGHS
0:00:29 > 0:00:31GUNSHOT
0:00:38 > 0:00:40Hello. If you're watching this video,
0:00:40 > 0:00:44you've just received the powerful news that you'll be living in
0:00:44 > 0:00:46witness protection long term.
0:00:47 > 0:00:51Look, I'm not going to patronise you, that's tough,
0:00:51 > 0:00:55but there is a silver lining or should I say platinum lining,
0:00:55 > 0:01:00because you've just qualified for Wit Pro Platinum Level.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS
0:01:07 > 0:01:09So, what are the benefits?
0:01:09 > 0:01:15Well, for a start, 10,000 Nectar points loaded onto your card today.
0:01:15 > 0:01:18These Cafe Nero cards are all stamped up
0:01:18 > 0:01:20and there must be 12, 15 of them in here.
0:01:22 > 0:01:28A reconditioned iPhone 5S with no more than one previous owner.
0:01:28 > 0:01:31Orange Wednesdays, didn't they stop doing them?
0:01:37 > 0:01:38Not for you.
0:01:51 > 0:01:54MUSIC: In The Morning by David Lawrence
0:02:07 > 0:02:13# Oh, dear friend, I know your secret
0:02:13 > 0:02:17# But I just can't keep it
0:02:17 > 0:02:20# Another day... #
0:02:20 > 0:02:24Come on, Mr Slick. Get your tongue out your arse, it's time to work.
0:02:24 > 0:02:29# Don't confuse, I'm not your saviour
0:02:29 > 0:02:33# No-one can save you
0:02:33 > 0:02:36# From the devil's arms
0:02:40 > 0:02:44# In the morning
0:02:44 > 0:02:48# You will pay for what you've done
0:02:48 > 0:02:52# Well, hell is calling
0:02:52 > 0:02:56# And I will take you with my gun
0:02:56 > 0:03:00# In the morning
0:03:00 > 0:03:04# You will pay for what you've done... #
0:03:08 > 0:03:10And he's always wearing his top.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13Why are you wearing your top?
0:03:13 > 0:03:15Hey?
0:03:15 > 0:03:16You're a man, ain't ya?
0:03:20 > 0:03:24Now, I'm really excited for you two to see this one.
0:03:24 > 0:03:28As you can see, there's lots of light, lots of space.
0:03:28 > 0:03:30Now, um, who's the cook?
0:03:31 > 0:03:33So...
0:03:33 > 0:03:36..that's a Momma's jerk burger, um, heat deluxe calzone...
0:03:36 > 0:03:39So if I could just get your autographs there and there.
0:03:39 > 0:03:42..sticky finger ribs, a side of loaded skins...
0:03:42 > 0:03:44Congrats, guys! Come on.
0:03:44 > 0:03:46..and three bottomless Pepsis.
0:03:51 > 0:03:54I want to fight ya.
0:03:54 > 0:03:58I want to fight ya in the night.
0:03:58 > 0:04:00I want to fight ya under the covers.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15Ooh, here she is, the superstar.
0:04:16 > 0:04:19- Have you seen it?- Hm?
0:04:19 > 0:04:23And that is every branch in the south-west, not just ours.
0:04:26 > 0:04:28Oh, my God.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32My chin looks so fat.
0:04:32 > 0:04:34Emma, does my chin look fat?
0:04:34 > 0:04:35Er, you look gorgeous.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Right, come on, lunch, we're celebrating.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41Put Archie in his cage, give him a DentaStix.
0:04:41 > 0:04:44I want to try that new place next to Tiles Tiles Tiles.
0:04:50 > 0:04:53- ..east side of town. - HE LAUGHS
0:04:57 > 0:04:58Oh...
0:05:03 > 0:05:08Charming, isn't he? 1960s, I believe.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Er, '40s I'd say. The paw pads went suede in the late '50s.
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Oh. Collector?
0:05:14 > 0:05:16Yo, Patrick. Come on, mate!
0:05:18 > 0:05:20No. No, I'm not.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24And, of course, it's not plumbed in, is it?
0:05:24 > 0:05:26It's only a bloomin' show house.
0:05:26 > 0:05:28- So I called Gary... - Oh, God, not Gary.
0:05:28 > 0:05:30Yeah, don't laugh - Gary.
0:05:30 > 0:05:32He shows up with this...
0:05:32 > 0:05:35Hi, guys, I just wanted to let you know about our, um...
0:05:39 > 0:05:42..about our, um, specials.
0:05:44 > 0:05:45We've got, um...
0:05:47 > 0:05:49..bread and, um...
0:05:50 > 0:05:52Screaming hot fajitas?
0:05:52 > 0:05:54Just, just reading off the board,
0:05:54 > 0:05:57not trying to do your job or anything, whatever your name is.
0:05:57 > 0:06:00- Imogen.- Imogen.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01You choose that yourself?
0:06:01 > 0:06:02Er, no.
0:06:04 > 0:06:05My parents did.
0:06:07 > 0:06:08Huh.
0:06:09 > 0:06:14Er, I'll just give you a minute and come back for your order.
0:06:20 > 0:06:23Mm! Mm-mm-mm. Mm!
0:06:23 > 0:06:26Oh, I could eat another one of them, honestly,
0:06:26 > 0:06:29if we weren't going back to work. I'm disgusting.
0:06:29 > 0:06:33Hi. Sorry, I've just got your bill. Whenever you're ready.
0:06:46 > 0:06:49Three months in, have that cleared.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53Fucking flying ants! The fucking bastards are everywhere upstairs.
0:06:53 > 0:06:56Willy, have a listen to this one.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59Right, say you open a brewery,
0:06:59 > 0:07:02that One Pack just so happens to own.
0:07:02 > 0:07:05You're paying for beer that he never gives you,
0:07:05 > 0:07:07make a couple of grand disappear every week easy.
0:07:07 > 0:07:11Not bad, not bad. See, I told ya? Fucking smart, this one.
0:07:11 > 0:07:14That college's loss is our fucking gain.
0:07:17 > 0:07:20Well, fuck me, look who it is.
0:07:20 > 0:07:22Long time no see.
0:07:22 > 0:07:24I hope you ain't come here fucking empty handed, son,
0:07:24 > 0:07:28not on flying ants' day. I'm in a bad enough mood as it is.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Where the fuck do you think you're going?
0:07:57 > 0:07:59940, 960...
0:08:03 > 0:08:05..980.
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Nah.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10I counted it a few times, Willy. There was, there was £1,000 there.
0:08:14 > 0:08:15Look give me ten minutes, yeah?
0:08:15 > 0:08:18Give me, give me ten minutes and I'll be back here with the £20.
0:08:26 > 0:08:27Ah!
0:08:28 > 0:08:31Fucking sick of that twat.
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Here, see if there's any fucking decent bread in the place,
0:08:34 > 0:08:36bit of toast wouldn't go a miss. The fucking bastard!
0:08:36 > 0:08:4040, 960, 980...
0:08:43 > 0:08:45- ..grand. - HE CHUCKLES
0:08:45 > 0:08:47Come on, Paddy, let's get him moved.
0:08:53 > 0:08:55I've got the fucking heavy end, you haven't.
0:08:55 > 0:08:57Oh, bollocks!
0:08:59 > 0:09:01That's it.
0:09:01 > 0:09:02Oh, give us a hand with this.
0:09:02 > 0:09:04No, put him on there, put him on there.
0:09:04 > 0:09:07Jesus.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09- Is he going to fit?- Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
0:09:09 > 0:09:11That's my dinner.
0:09:11 > 0:09:14- Right. Oh. Ready?- Yeah.- Three.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19That's it, there we go, drop him in, get his arse in now.
0:09:19 > 0:09:21I've got my arms fucking stuck now.
0:09:21 > 0:09:23You've got to pull him forward so I can get my fucking arms out.
0:09:23 > 0:09:25That's it.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28Shit. Let's get these legs in, look, ready?
0:09:28 > 0:09:31That's it. Go on, just snap it backwards, it won't hurt him.
0:09:31 > 0:09:33- BONE SNAPS - That's it.- Oh, oh!
0:09:33 > 0:09:36Put this down. Oh, his fucking leg...
0:09:36 > 0:09:38Snap it right back in.
0:09:38 > 0:09:40- BONE SNAPS - Oh!- There you go, there you go.
0:09:40 > 0:09:42That's it, he's in now. Get that on the top. Go on, get it on.
0:09:49 > 0:09:52Let's go get a pint.
0:09:52 > 0:09:53HE RETCHES
0:10:02 > 0:10:05HE GRUNTS
0:10:14 > 0:10:16Er, thanks.
0:10:16 > 0:10:18QUAD BIKE APPROACHES
0:10:20 > 0:10:21Hey, Mr Slick.
0:10:21 > 0:10:24Meet me by the lake in five, we'll have a wanking contest,
0:10:24 > 0:10:26points for speed and amount.
0:10:33 > 0:10:35Just clear these away for you.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Hey.
0:10:42 > 0:10:43Hi.
0:10:45 > 0:10:47Thanks for coming back.
0:10:51 > 0:10:56My shift finishes in like two minutes.
0:10:56 > 0:10:58- Do you want to...?- Yeah.
0:11:01 > 0:11:04Oh, I'll just... OK.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17I'm really sorry, Leanne.
0:11:19 > 0:11:22- You know about...- It's OK.
0:11:22 > 0:11:24I think I probably overreacted a bit.
0:11:29 > 0:11:31- CRYING:- I've missed you, Leanne.
0:11:33 > 0:11:34TEARFULLY: I've missed you too.
0:11:36 > 0:11:40Stop it, cos you, you're going to start me off.
0:11:40 > 0:11:42I've been such a bitch.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44No, I...
0:11:44 > 0:11:46I've been a bitch.
0:11:46 > 0:11:48- SOBBING:- Can we be friends again?
0:11:48 > 0:11:50SOBBING: Of course we can be friends!
0:11:50 > 0:11:54THEY SOB
0:12:05 > 0:12:07This is just so hard, you know?
0:12:09 > 0:12:11It's so hard.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14- Here, blow into that.- Thanks.
0:12:18 > 0:12:20Oh, oh.
0:12:25 > 0:12:27They'll be closing here in a minute.
0:12:27 > 0:12:29Do you want to come back to mine?
0:12:29 > 0:12:30I've got a juicer.
0:12:32 > 0:12:33Yeah.
0:12:33 > 0:12:36THEY CRY
0:12:58 > 0:12:59Mr Slick, what's your real name?
0:13:02 > 0:13:03Adrian.
0:13:03 > 0:13:05Adrian, like a film star.
0:13:08 > 0:13:10What's it like in the city?
0:13:12 > 0:13:14I expect you're always brawling in the nightclub.
0:13:17 > 0:13:18Have you ever met Kanye West?
0:13:24 > 0:13:26I've a little dream.
0:13:26 > 0:13:27Ah, you'll think I'm silly.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34One day, I want to get a bus...
0:13:34 > 0:13:36..and go to Claire's Accessories.
0:13:36 > 0:13:38Go to Claire's Accessories and try everything on.
0:13:42 > 0:13:43Heard you killed a man.
0:13:45 > 0:13:47You're an outlaw, so....
0:13:54 > 0:13:55So, what do you do?
0:13:55 > 0:13:57Well, obviously, it's pretty gross
0:13:57 > 0:14:00but I find if I wash it as soon as I get in,
0:14:00 > 0:14:03- the meat smell basically goes. - Mm.
0:14:03 > 0:14:05Oh, wow.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07- Is this your flat?- Yeah.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09They gave you this flat?
0:14:09 > 0:14:10Oh, God, no.
0:14:10 > 0:14:14- Oh, sorry, Rhona, shoes.- Oh.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18Hang on, you're not still living in the flat they gave you, are you?
0:14:18 > 0:14:20Yes.
0:14:20 > 0:14:23I'm really lucky, you see, cos I work in lettings,
0:14:23 > 0:14:26so I get to see the good stuff as it comes in.
0:14:26 > 0:14:27Mm.
0:14:27 > 0:14:29I could help you out, actually. What's your budget?
0:14:32 > 0:14:35Oh, my God, the best bit is there's this office dog, Archie,
0:14:35 > 0:14:38he's a French bulldog and he sort of belongs to the office,
0:14:38 > 0:14:41so sometimes I take him home, sometimes Trish does
0:14:41 > 0:14:45and he's got a different jumper for every day, look at his little face.
0:14:45 > 0:14:47Yeah, hon, you're doing so great.
0:14:48 > 0:14:50Erm...
0:14:50 > 0:14:51- HOLDING BACK TEARS:- I'm really happy for you.
0:14:51 > 0:14:53Thanks, and you.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57You've got lovely hair.
0:14:57 > 0:14:59- CRYING:- I can't take it any more.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02Oh, hey. Shh, Rhona.
0:15:02 > 0:15:05I'm sorry, I didn't want to get into this, it's just...
0:15:05 > 0:15:08..we're never going home, are we?
0:15:08 > 0:15:12Well, you know the police are trying to catch Willy Whelan, aren't they?
0:15:12 > 0:15:15Yeah, and have been for about 15 years
0:15:15 > 0:15:17and even if they do catch him, then what then?
0:15:17 > 0:15:20He'll just be running the show from the inside.
0:15:20 > 0:15:22Well, if there's nothing we can do,
0:15:22 > 0:15:24there's no point crying about it, is there?
0:15:24 > 0:15:27No, but there is something we can do, there is.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33I've been thinking about it.
0:15:34 > 0:15:38We have to get rid of Whelan...
0:15:38 > 0:15:39..for good.
0:15:41 > 0:15:43We need to kill him.
0:15:43 > 0:15:46I'm sorry, I'm no lawyer but I'm pretty sure that's way illegal.
0:15:46 > 0:15:48Well, what choice do we have?
0:15:48 > 0:15:51Rhona, if you'd asked me a year ago
0:15:51 > 0:15:54did I want to live in witness protection, seven times out of ten,
0:15:54 > 0:15:58I would've said, no, course not, but I'm making the best of it.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02Bad stuff happens,
0:16:02 > 0:16:05it's how you react to it that counts.
0:16:09 > 0:16:11I'll give you a lift home.
0:16:25 > 0:16:26Ugh!
0:16:26 > 0:16:27CRUNCHING
0:16:27 > 0:16:29Three!
0:16:32 > 0:16:34- CRUNCHING - Oh!
0:17:18 > 0:17:21"Very talented, sensitive, good-hearted young man."
0:17:32 > 0:17:36"Dear Rosemary, sorry for the slow reply.
0:17:36 > 0:17:37"Many thanks for your kind words."
0:17:37 > 0:17:39PHONE CHIMES
0:17:42 > 0:17:44"You might get a kick out of this.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48"Passing an antique shop when I saw a 1940s Merrythought
0:17:48 > 0:17:50"in near mint condition."
0:17:52 > 0:17:55"Dear Patrick, lovely to hear from you.
0:17:55 > 0:17:57"You're such a knowledgeable young man."
0:18:00 > 0:18:03"Dear Rosemary, how have you been?
0:18:03 > 0:18:06"Tell me, how did you get involved in the scene?"
0:18:06 > 0:18:10"I fell in love, Patrick, with a man who was a master of the craft."
0:18:10 > 0:18:12- "Dear Rosemary..." - "Dear Patrick..."
0:18:12 > 0:18:14- "Thanks for your message." - "How was your weekend?"
0:18:14 > 0:18:17"Did you see the 1930s Chiltern on Antiques Roadshow?"
0:18:17 > 0:18:20"So insightful, Patrick."
0:18:20 > 0:18:22"Where do you stand on the waistcoat?"
0:18:22 > 0:18:23"..achieve such a fine stitch?"
0:18:23 > 0:18:25"I haven't seen one like that in years."
0:18:25 > 0:18:28- "Tell me about the buttons." - "Are you on messenger?"
0:18:40 > 0:18:41Psst!
0:18:43 > 0:18:46Come in, there's something I want to show ya.
0:18:47 > 0:18:49Come on, I won't bite ya.
0:18:55 > 0:18:56Shut the door.
0:19:22 > 0:19:23- WHISPERS:- This is me bra.
0:19:25 > 0:19:27It was Mammy's before she left.
0:19:31 > 0:19:33It's nice.
0:19:33 > 0:19:36And when you're finished up in that top field, I want you...
0:19:36 > 0:19:39Jesus, Mary and the holy Saint Joseph.
0:19:39 > 0:19:42- You dirty little bastard.- Dad, no!
0:19:42 > 0:19:45- Gurvin!- Ah!- Gurvin! Get in here and hold his prick.
0:19:46 > 0:19:48Keep his seed away from her!
0:19:59 > 0:20:01- You'll be married on Sunday. - Dad, we didn't...
0:20:01 > 0:20:04You'll be married on Sunday.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26CRUNCHING
0:20:45 > 0:20:48Fuck me.
0:20:48 > 0:20:50That one of the fucking...?
0:20:50 > 0:20:52Stupid fuckers.
0:20:53 > 0:20:55Shall we vacate to my office
0:20:55 > 0:20:58and plot an appropriate course of fucking action?
0:20:58 > 0:21:00Fucking hell.
0:21:02 > 0:21:04I'm out, boys, win again.
0:21:17 > 0:21:19Trish, come look at this.
0:21:21 > 0:21:23Just watch that video.
0:21:23 > 0:21:26Keep watching the budgie and look at the kitten's face.
0:21:26 > 0:21:29Ooh!
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Emma, have you seen this?
0:21:31 > 0:21:33Do you fancy a pod, Trish? I'm just doing one for myself.
0:21:33 > 0:21:36No, ta, I've already had two Kenyan Mellows today.
0:21:36 > 0:21:39HIGH-PITCHED VOICE: Oh, Archie, finished your water.
0:21:39 > 0:21:41Oh, you've finished your water.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44Let me get you some, yes.
0:21:46 > 0:21:47Hello, sir, how can I help?
0:21:50 > 0:21:52Was it sales or lettings you wanted?
0:21:54 > 0:21:56Trish! TRISH SCREAMS
0:21:56 > 0:21:58GUNSHOT
0:22:03 > 0:22:05GUNSHOT
0:22:06 > 0:22:08Oh, my God, thank God you're OK.
0:22:09 > 0:22:10Come in.
0:22:12 > 0:22:16It was on TV, I thought it must be you, they said a woman's been shot.
0:22:16 > 0:22:17Oh, my God, that's Trish, that's Trish!
0:22:17 > 0:22:20It's OK, she's OK, they said she's awake and talking in hospital.
0:22:20 > 0:22:23Oh, Rhona, it was horrible, it was so close.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26- It's OK, it's OK, you're safe now. - They were trying to kill me, Rhona.
0:22:26 > 0:22:29- I know, I know, but you're safe now. - Yeah.
0:22:33 > 0:22:34All right?
0:22:38 > 0:22:40I did manage to get the bastard in the head
0:22:40 > 0:22:42with a coffee machine though.
0:22:43 > 0:22:45All right, have a seat, I'll make you a Ribena.
0:22:45 > 0:22:47- Make it hot.- All right.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54SHE SLURPS
0:22:59 > 0:23:02Oh...
0:23:02 > 0:23:04Oh, God, I hope Trish is OK.
0:23:06 > 0:23:09I, I can't even go see her, can I?
0:23:10 > 0:23:14I can't go back to the office, to the flat. I loved that flat.
0:23:16 > 0:23:17That's it, innit?
0:23:17 > 0:23:20Leanne...
0:23:20 > 0:23:21..this is what I meant.
0:23:22 > 0:23:24We can never build lives in here.
0:23:27 > 0:23:31The only way to stop this is if Willy Whelan is...
0:23:31 > 0:23:33- ..gone.- Rhona, no.
0:23:33 > 0:23:35We can't, we're not...
0:23:36 > 0:23:38WHISPERS: ..killers.
0:23:38 > 0:23:41- Oh, look, this is it. - Oh, my God, that's my office.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43Turn it up, turn it up.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- TV:- Now there's shock in Chippenham tonight as gunshots were fired
0:23:46 > 0:23:49this afternoon in what appears to have been a premeditated attack
0:23:49 > 0:23:51at a local estate agent.
0:23:51 > 0:23:54Thankfully there have been no fatalities.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58A 34-year-old woman is being treated for a gunshot wound to the shoulder
0:23:58 > 0:24:00at the Royal United Hospital in Bath.
0:24:00 > 0:24:04Floral tributes have started to be laid outside the premises
0:24:04 > 0:24:06for three-year-old French bulldog Archie
0:24:06 > 0:24:08who was killed in the attack...
0:24:08 > 0:24:11Oh, yeah, sorry, forgot about that, a dog got shot.
0:24:11 > 0:24:18Right, I want Whelan's shitty, beardy head on a fucking spike.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20We get guns. I don't know where, the internet?
0:24:20 > 0:24:24And I'll go into that pub, open fire, be like,
0:24:24 > 0:24:26"This is for Archie."
0:24:30 > 0:24:32All right, Clive Owen, sit down.
0:24:34 > 0:24:37Look, I've been thinking about this a lot.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39Even if we could kill Whelan,
0:24:39 > 0:24:41we'd almost certainly face retaliation
0:24:41 > 0:24:43from one of his lackeys afterwards,
0:24:43 > 0:24:45not to mention obviously the small matter of life imprisonment.
0:24:45 > 0:24:47So then what?
0:24:50 > 0:24:53What if somebody else killed him?
0:24:53 > 0:24:56Mm? What if we could maybe make that happen?
0:24:58 > 0:25:00But who?
0:25:00 > 0:25:01There's another gang.
0:25:02 > 0:25:05Think about it, Leanne, the guy in the ice cream van,
0:25:05 > 0:25:07the one we saw get shot?
0:25:09 > 0:25:11There's another gang.
0:25:17 > 0:25:20We need Willy Whelan dead.
0:25:22 > 0:25:23SHE SCREAMS
0:25:23 > 0:25:24Who the fuck are you?
0:25:24 > 0:25:28Gurvin!
0:25:28 > 0:25:29Shit.