0:00:20 > 0:00:23Hello and welcome to the World Series of Dating.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25My name is James Chetwyn-Talbot
0:00:25 > 0:00:28and it's a privilege to be joined from the United States
0:00:28 > 0:00:30by five-times World Series of Dating champion
0:00:30 > 0:00:34and a true legend of the competitive dating world, it's Doyle McManus.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Hey! Good to be here, Jim-Biz!
0:00:37 > 0:00:40I'm looking forward to seeing some great British dating.
0:00:40 > 0:00:43The weather here is cold but the women are hot
0:00:43 > 0:00:46- and your accents are hilarious! - Very kind of you to say so.
0:00:46 > 0:00:48That's what I'm talking about! HE LAUGHS
0:00:48 > 0:00:52You sound like the Queen! Oh, I can't take you guys seriously.
0:00:52 > 0:00:54It's just adorable.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56Thanks. The World Series is new to the UK
0:00:56 > 0:00:59so Doyle has provided us with this helpful guide.
0:00:59 > 0:01:05The World Series of Dating sees seduction, sport and suppers smashed into each other. Come on!
0:01:05 > 0:01:07In each heat, four guys enter the date zone
0:01:07 > 0:01:10and their mission is to date the lady for as long as they can,
0:01:10 > 0:01:13each second at the table earning him ten points.
0:01:13 > 0:01:17- If you want to have sex with me, fine.- You're such an arsehole.
0:01:17 > 0:01:19The guys need to be at the top of their dating game
0:01:19 > 0:01:24because if these girls are left cold, they will hit the blow-out button.
0:01:24 > 0:01:29- Naughty! - Legendary WSOD referee Bentley will make a judgement call on the date.
0:01:29 > 0:01:32For minor dating errors, the guy may get another chance,
0:01:32 > 0:01:36- but if a dating violation has occurred..- That's a violation, man!
0:01:36 > 0:01:39- ..the guy is off the table. - Go ahead, man!
0:01:39 > 0:01:41The winner is the guy who lasted the longest.
0:01:41 > 0:01:46The battle to become UK's greatest living dater has begun. Yeah!
0:01:46 > 0:01:49Thank you very much, Doyle. We are moments away from the action
0:01:49 > 0:01:51so it's time to meet the team of temptresses
0:01:51 > 0:01:53the men will have to impress tonight.
0:01:53 > 0:01:55# One, two, three, four
0:01:55 > 0:02:00Doyle, this is Becca, 21, a petite yet potent package of passion.
0:02:00 > 0:02:02A pocket-sized porcelain princess.
0:02:02 > 0:02:06Becca's ideal partner would be elderly rapper LL Cool J.
0:02:06 > 0:02:09I think he's like in his 70s! Kinky!
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Next it's Lau, 22 from Durham, a feast from the Northeast.
0:02:13 > 0:02:17- Says here she likes going out with friends.- Ah, going out with friends.
0:02:17 > 0:02:21- That's got to hurt, James.- Nonsense. I have my round table meetings.
0:02:23 > 0:02:25In the third pod tonight, it's Bambi,
0:02:25 > 0:02:29a 23-year-old Brummie yummy who can apparently touch her nose with her tongue.
0:02:29 > 0:02:34- I could touch her nose with my tongue.- That's why we've locked the commentary booth door.- Oh, come on!
0:02:36 > 0:02:40Final lady tonight is Lucie, 22, stylish, stunning, unique,
0:02:40 > 0:02:43- a British classic. - Ah, much like your Sarah Ferguson.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Nope, she's your Sarah Ferguson now.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49Here comes the first of the boys to do battle tonight.
0:02:49 > 0:02:52This is Chris and I've no idea what he's doing
0:02:52 > 0:02:54but he claims he looks like David Beckham.
0:02:54 > 0:02:58I only know David Beckham the soccer player and that is not him.
0:02:58 > 0:03:04- Well, let's see if he's got golden balls tonight.- Oh! Nice one, Jado! - Thank you. It's James.
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Here comes Greg. He's a student, so probably here for the free food.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Unlike Chris, this one's a looker. He could do well.
0:03:13 > 0:03:16- It's not all about looks. - You keep telling yourself that.
0:03:18 > 0:03:21Next up is 25-year-old bar supervisor Gary.
0:03:21 > 0:03:23His turn-off is toe-sucking.
0:03:23 > 0:03:27Well, he obviously hasn't seen my instructional video,
0:03:27 > 0:03:30Doyle McManus's Toe-ma Sutra. It's red hot.
0:03:30 > 0:03:35- Straight to VHS, I should think. - It's band in most countries. It's kind of specialist.
0:03:36 > 0:03:39Finally, it's Antonio, 25 from London,
0:03:39 > 0:03:42a drummer with the look of philandering footballer Ashley Cole.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45I like this guy. He could be a contender.
0:03:45 > 0:03:48Poor, poor Cheryl. Never mind. Here's referee Bentley.
0:03:48 > 0:03:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
0:03:58 > 0:04:03Gentlemen, I love the smell of dating in the evening.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06The pungent mix of fear,
0:04:06 > 0:04:10musk, hair products and victory.
0:04:10 > 0:04:15Now, I've put in some work. I've spent the whole afternoon warming up these ladies.
0:04:15 > 0:04:18All you guys have to do is bring them to the boil.
0:04:19 > 0:04:21Go dating!
0:04:23 > 0:04:28- Hi.- Hi, nice to meet you. - Chris. Is it Becca?- Yeah.
0:04:28 > 0:04:32And they're off! Chris has drawn Becca.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36- Hey, so have I! Check 'em out! - OK, back to the date zone.
0:04:36 > 0:04:42- How old are you?- Old enough. 21. - I'm 21, as well.- Cool.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46Any chance of two glasses, one of each?
0:04:46 > 0:04:49- OK.- Why not?
0:04:49 > 0:04:52- Red or white? - I'll have red first. Cheers.
0:04:52 > 0:04:54SHE LAUGHS
0:04:55 > 0:04:58- Thank you.- Wait there, will you?
0:04:59 > 0:05:01'Oh! I like him!'
0:05:01 > 0:05:03Cheers. I'll have white now.
0:05:04 > 0:05:08I know what I'm having. I'm having the melon boat. I love melon.
0:05:08 > 0:05:13- Er, I'll have the split pea soup as a starter, actually.- Oh!
0:05:13 > 0:05:15I'll let the lady choose first of all.
0:05:15 > 0:05:18Erm, I'm really torn between the two.
0:05:18 > 0:05:22Spaghetti bolognese reminds me of Lady And The Tramp. Thank you.
0:05:22 > 0:05:24- Did you catch what the dessert was? - Eton mess.
0:05:24 > 0:05:27- Ooh! That's chocolate, I'm sure. - Is it?
0:05:27 > 0:05:31Just for the record, as someone who went there, Eton mess is not a chocolate pudding.
0:05:31 > 0:05:34Obviously Antonio knows what he's doing. Never correct a lady.
0:05:34 > 0:05:37Unless you're being polite, then you can.
0:05:40 > 0:05:42What's your favourite film?
0:05:42 > 0:05:46Oh, my favourite film? I did say... I love loads of films.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49My favourite is Don't Mess With The Zohan.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52- Hm.- Have you ever seen that film? - No.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56- Oh, it's amazing.- What's it about? - It's like a secret agent.
0:05:56 > 0:05:59- That's mine. Thank you.- It's just a comedy and he does all sorts.
0:05:59 > 0:06:04- Yeah?- In one scene, he's flipping fish, showing off,
0:06:04 > 0:06:07he's like a ladies' man in it. And then the next thing you know,
0:06:07 > 0:06:11he flips up this fish and he catches it between his cheeks on his arse
0:06:11 > 0:06:14while he's lying on the beach. It's a lot of things like that.
0:06:14 > 0:06:19Opening with a story about catching fish in the buttocks while the lady enjoys her split pea soup.
0:06:19 > 0:06:22- Take us through that.- This guy's either a genius or an idiot.
0:06:22 > 0:06:28The next five minutes will let us know which one he is. You British are weird! And I like it!
0:06:28 > 0:06:32And he wants to be a hairdresser. He works for the military
0:06:32 > 0:06:39but he leaves the military, pretends he's dying and he does become the best hairdresser there is.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43- And is this your friend. - No, this is the film.
0:06:43 > 0:06:47- Oh!- Yeah. I'd love him to be my friend, though.- Yeah.
0:06:49 > 0:06:53- Where you from? - From Bristol. Where are you from?
0:06:53 > 0:06:55Cambridge. Posh boy, you see?
0:06:55 > 0:06:59- You don't sound very posh. - Are you suggesting I'm common?
0:06:59 > 0:07:05- No, you just don't sound posh. - Well, I am a little bit. I'm from Cambridge, I have to be posh.- OK.
0:07:05 > 0:07:10- Cambridge University.- Yeah, but have you gone to Cambridge University? - No, but that's not really important.
0:07:10 > 0:07:14- So what do you do for work? - I do modelling.- I can tell.
0:07:14 > 0:07:16'What a save! This dude is sinking fast!'
0:07:16 > 0:07:19He got called out twice for not being fancy-schmancy
0:07:19 > 0:07:22and not going to Oxbridge College.
0:07:22 > 0:07:26But then back on track with the modelling line. Kaboom!
0:07:26 > 0:07:29- But she is a model. - Exactly.- I don't get it.
0:07:29 > 0:07:32By it, do you mean women? What?
0:07:34 > 0:07:37I'm a student at Liverpool. I'm doing a masters.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40- In?- In town planning.
0:07:41 > 0:07:44That's an exciting subject if ever I heard one.
0:07:44 > 0:07:48So if you were going to plan a town now,
0:07:48 > 0:07:51and you got to choose the name, what would you go for?
0:07:53 > 0:07:56'This is quite clearly a test of his mettle.'
0:07:56 > 0:08:00If he gets it wrong, Lucie could hit the blow-out button. What's your advice?
0:08:00 > 0:08:04When faced with this question, I usually go for one of these. Roll it.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22How did you get the graphics guys to do that?
0:08:22 > 0:08:25- We're regular mates now!- Yeah?
0:08:25 > 0:08:27Sure, OK. Here we go, guys, Greg's got an answer.
0:08:27 > 0:08:31That's what you call it, right, mates? Mates?
0:08:31 > 0:08:34Erm, Lucie-Town, that's got a nice ring to it.
0:08:34 > 0:08:37Whoo! Yes!
0:08:37 > 0:08:39Wow!
0:08:45 > 0:08:49It's got a great ring to it, it's a great name. Mm-hm.
0:08:51 > 0:08:54- What would you cook me? - What would I cook you?- Yeah.
0:08:55 > 0:08:58- Oh, it's difficult. I don't know. - Ten seconds.
0:08:58 > 0:09:01There's time for sex twice then. Erm...
0:09:02 > 0:09:05'So, Doyle, ten seconds, enough time for sex twice.'
0:09:05 > 0:09:10- Risky strategy?- It's what I call a classic innuendo attack.
0:09:10 > 0:09:14I'll give you an example of how it works. Ask me a question.
0:09:14 > 0:09:17- Er, what did you have for breakfast this morning?- Tits. See?
0:09:17 > 0:09:22- Ask me another one.- Where are you going on holiday this year?- Vagina!
0:09:22 > 0:09:25It's bold but it doesn't always work.
0:09:25 > 0:09:28OK, I understand he's still at it. Let's go back down and take a look.
0:09:29 > 0:09:32- What's your favourite colour?- Pussy.
0:09:32 > 0:09:35- I thought I'd get a bigger bit than that.- That's quite big.
0:09:35 > 0:09:38- So I've been told. Cheers.- No.
0:09:41 > 0:09:44My mate went to the toilet and he was like,
0:09:44 > 0:09:47"Oh, I hate you, Gaz, I hate you."
0:09:47 > 0:09:50Even the class laughed and he was like, "No, I'm being deadly serious."
0:09:50 > 0:09:54- 'Uh-oh! Hand's going up!' - What have I done to upset you?- Yeah.
0:09:54 > 0:09:59- 'Oh, dear.'- 'Wait! No! Ohhh!' - Oh, no! You've ruined me!
0:09:59 > 0:10:03Goodness gracious me, our first blow-out button of the night.
0:10:03 > 0:10:07And a strange quote, too! "You've ruined me."
0:10:07 > 0:10:09Mm. She looked bored there, Doyle.
0:10:09 > 0:10:12- Do you think referee Bentley will throw him out?- I hope not.
0:10:12 > 0:10:15I mean, I like this kid. He's a maverick.
0:10:15 > 0:10:20- What seems to be the problem? - Erm, he's just talking about himself all the time
0:10:20 > 0:10:22and he looks like Chesney off Coronation Street.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25I don't know who that is, but from the way you said that,
0:10:25 > 0:10:27- he must look like a sissy.- Yeah.
0:10:27 > 0:10:32'Who is this Chesney and what in dating's name is Coronation Street?'
0:10:32 > 0:10:35- I believe it's a soap opera. I think we have a picture.- Urgh!
0:10:35 > 0:10:38God! No wonder America doesn't buy your soaps!
0:10:38 > 0:10:40She's right. He's out of here.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42There's something about the way you look.
0:10:42 > 0:10:46I don't know what's going on, man, but it's rubbing the lady the wrong way.
0:10:46 > 0:10:49Move! Move, boy!
0:10:49 > 0:10:54So Gary is our first casualty of the night, but he could be back,
0:10:54 > 0:10:57although he will still be looking like Chesney.
0:10:57 > 0:11:0011,390 points are in the bag for him.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02- Hey, let's go and check on Bambi. - Always.
0:11:02 > 0:11:06- The furthest place I've been? I went to Jamaica.- Oh, did you? When?
0:11:06 > 0:11:09- I went May. - It wasn't near Hedonism, was it?
0:11:09 > 0:11:12- No, what's that? - Hedonism, right, is a...
0:11:12 > 0:11:15It's a big like resort in Jamaica
0:11:15 > 0:11:20where everyone around the world goes and it's basically just a sex fest.
0:11:21 > 0:11:23Erm...
0:11:23 > 0:11:28Ooh. Bringing up a sex party during a first date, surely not a good idea.
0:11:28 > 0:11:32No, but they are awesome! Check out last night's.
0:11:33 > 0:11:35Oh, God.
0:11:35 > 0:11:40- I quite like the material on that shirt, actually.- Sure. I mean...
0:11:40 > 0:11:42Do you mind if I have a feel of that, actually?
0:11:42 > 0:11:46- You want to touch me?- Just feel your shirt, yeah. Is that all right?
0:11:47 > 0:11:49- I quite like that material.- Yeah?
0:11:49 > 0:11:52Feels like girlfriend material, actually.
0:11:54 > 0:11:58Oh! Viewers, chat-up lines are like fireworks.
0:11:58 > 0:12:01Use them wisely, else they'll go off in your face.
0:12:01 > 0:12:06- I feel like Bentley's about to explode into Greg's.- Mum?
0:12:07 > 0:12:13You seem like a nice guy and I think you've got what it takes, but you need to get away,
0:12:13 > 0:12:18- get your head together and come back stronger. I need you to hit the road.- No problem.- Good stuff.
0:12:18 > 0:12:21Get out of the zone, man!
0:12:25 > 0:12:29Our touchline reporter, the lovely Poppy Weathers, is with him now.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Greg, come join me.
0:12:32 > 0:12:34So, er, bad chat-up lines
0:12:34 > 0:12:37really couldn't fill those spaces, could they?
0:12:37 > 0:12:39I think it was clear where I went wrong.
0:12:39 > 0:12:43- Feels like girlfriend material, actually. - HE LAUGHS
0:12:45 > 0:12:47- Just go. - HE LAUGHS
0:12:51 > 0:12:54See, my cat, my cat's called Missy, I hate it, can't stand it.
0:12:54 > 0:12:58- Aww!- Honestly. - What kind of cat is it?
0:12:58 > 0:13:01It's like a pathet... It's like green and black.
0:13:01 > 0:13:04- It's not even a... - Did you just say...
0:13:04 > 0:13:08Did you just say your cat is green and black?
0:13:08 > 0:13:11No, it's like black and a dark green.
0:13:11 > 0:13:15- So your cat...- Mm-hm. - ..has green fur?
0:13:15 > 0:13:17Dark green.
0:13:17 > 0:13:20'Wow! Er, Doyle, have you ever seen anything like this?'
0:13:20 > 0:13:24'I haven't. We could be seeing the birth of a legend here tonight.'
0:13:24 > 0:13:27Hold that thought. Bambi has just played her heart-stopper.
0:13:30 > 0:13:34This means the lady's not sure about the guy. She wants to test him.
0:13:34 > 0:13:37Could be a physical challenge, could be a mental one.
0:13:37 > 0:13:40OK, yeah. I'm being told it's the Language Of Love.
0:13:40 > 0:13:43So Antonio must read her some romantic poetry.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47You got one minute. All right, let's go.
0:13:49 > 0:13:51HE SPEAKS FRENCH
0:14:07 > 0:14:11- My brother, keep hope alive, man! - THEY LAUGH
0:14:12 > 0:14:16- You did well. That deserves a high-five. - I hate you.- I hate you, too.
0:14:16 > 0:14:19Thank you very much. Longest relationship?
0:14:19 > 0:14:22- Three years. - That's quite a long time.- Mm.
0:14:22 > 0:14:26I'd just like to say hello to, er, Becca's ex-boyfriend.
0:14:28 > 0:14:31That was mean. I can't believe you just said that!
0:14:31 > 0:14:36In keeping with his courting style all night, even I know he was committed dating suicide there.
0:14:36 > 0:14:39Professionally, we call that daticide.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Why? Chris, why?
0:14:41 > 0:14:44That was mean.
0:14:47 > 0:14:49We meet again, young man.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Get your ass up!
0:14:52 > 0:14:54'In honour of Chris's services to dating...'
0:14:54 > 0:14:56- Keep it gangster, man. - Yeah, stuff it!
0:14:56 > 0:14:59- '..we've given him his very own violation.'- Wow.
0:14:59 > 0:15:03'Our touchline reporter, the lovely Poppy Weathers, is with him now.'
0:15:03 > 0:15:09So you claim that ten seconds is enough time to have sex...
0:15:09 > 0:15:11- Twice.- Twice.- Including foreplay.
0:15:11 > 0:15:14- Do you know what? It's usually so short, I call it two-play.- Wow.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17Twice. Are you checking me out there?
0:15:17 > 0:15:20- Yeah, I was, yeah.- You're checking me out.- You are beautiful.
0:15:20 > 0:15:24- You were checking out Becca's bum. - Yeah. Her arse is nowhere near as nice as yours.
0:15:24 > 0:15:27Oh, he is good! He is on fire!
0:15:29 > 0:15:33'We may have lost Chris, but here comes Gary again. Welcome back, G-spot!'
0:15:35 > 0:15:38- Hello.- How you doing, Becca? - Good, thanks. Are you?
0:15:38 > 0:15:41How you doing? You all right? So where are you from, then?
0:15:41 > 0:15:46- From Bristol.- From Bristol? - Yeah.- So you're not far from Cardiff at all, are you?- No.
0:15:46 > 0:15:49- So what do you do? - Erm, I do modelling.
0:15:49 > 0:15:53- Are you a model?- Yeah. And some music videos.- Oh, right.
0:15:53 > 0:15:56- What sort of music videos have you been in?- Erm...- Thank you.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00I've done, like, a video for Bluey Robinson,
0:16:00 > 0:16:04MC Neat, MC Versatile, Skibadee.
0:16:04 > 0:16:07- Scooby-Doo?- Huh?
0:16:07 > 0:16:11- Scooby-Doo?- No. Skibadee. - THEY LAUGH
0:16:12 > 0:16:18- Who's that, then, sorry? - Erm, he's like a garage artist.
0:16:18 > 0:16:22Oh, right, yeah. What was one of Lil Wayne's favourites that he did?
0:16:22 > 0:16:26You probably know.... If you said the name, I'd know it.
0:16:26 > 0:16:29- I used to YouTube...- Lollipop. - Yeah, Lollipop. Did you like that?
0:16:29 > 0:16:31- Yeah, I love that song. - I used to love that.
0:16:31 > 0:16:34# Licka, licka, licka, lick a lollipop
0:16:34 > 0:16:36# Licka, licka, lick a lollipop
0:16:36 > 0:16:39- HE LAUGHS - That's all I know.
0:16:39 > 0:16:44- Go on, then, you sing it.- No! - No? Say it out to me, then.
0:16:44 > 0:16:48- It's not licka, licka, licka, lick a lollipop.- Is it not?- No! - THEY LAUGH
0:16:48 > 0:16:54- I thought it was!- It's not. She l-l-l-licked me like a lollipop.
0:16:54 > 0:16:59- Oh, right, is it? - Yeah. She licked me like a lollipop.
0:16:59 > 0:17:00Yeah.
0:17:00 > 0:17:04Have you ever watched, erm, First 48?
0:17:04 > 0:17:07- Uh-uh.- Oh, mate, it is...
0:17:11 > 0:17:15- Bambi? You're looking really nice. - Thank you.
0:17:15 > 0:17:20- So do you.- What's the problem? - It's just come to the end of the road, I'm afraid.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23And he kept calling me mate.
0:17:23 > 0:17:27Mate, I tell you what, right... Vodka, oh, mate... Mate, I tell you...
0:17:27 > 0:17:30Come on, mate, you must have heard that. Oh, mate, it is amazing.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34Here you are, Doyle. This is the ideal opportunity for a joke about too much mating.
0:17:34 > 0:17:38Too much mating? There's no such thing!
0:17:38 > 0:17:43Don't address a lady as mate. It's a verbal violation, man! You're out of here!
0:17:43 > 0:17:48# That's not my name... 'Oh, Antonio, no, no, no!'
0:17:48 > 0:17:54'It's not all bad news. He walks away with a whopping 37,920 points.'
0:17:54 > 0:17:56Doyle, you know what this means, don't you?
0:17:56 > 0:17:59No. Really?
0:17:59 > 0:18:02Yeah!
0:18:02 > 0:18:04# Cos I'm back on the streets again...
0:18:04 > 0:18:08- Hi, Bambi, nice to meet you. - Hello. Nice to meet you.- Chris.
0:18:08 > 0:18:10Aw. Thank you. What's your name, Chris?
0:18:10 > 0:18:13- My brother's name's Chris. - You can call me that or Thumper.
0:18:13 > 0:18:16- Thumper. I had a rabbit called Thumper.- Really?
0:18:16 > 0:18:21- Yeah.- I had a rabbit called Thumper. - Did you?- No, not really.- Oh.
0:18:21 > 0:18:24- So, tell me about yourself. - Well, I'm a promo girl.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27- Cool. - I get paid to party, that's my job.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29- I would love a job like that. - SHE LAUGHS
0:18:29 > 0:18:32- It's really good. - I would love a job like that.- Yeah.
0:18:32 > 0:18:35But I wear a bunny outfit, so would you love that, too?
0:18:35 > 0:18:39I can't really talk right now. Yeah, no, of course I would.
0:18:39 > 0:18:42- You'd like to be in a bunny outfit? - I've worn worse.
0:18:42 > 0:18:47- I've definitely dressed up as a woman before.- Have you? - As a joke.- Yeah.
0:18:47 > 0:18:50'Less than a minute in the zone
0:18:50 > 0:18:54'and Chris is already admitting he's a cross-dresser. This guy's incredible!'
0:18:54 > 0:18:58- I'm going to pull this out. - 'Yes! Yes!'
0:19:00 > 0:19:04Right, time for you to man up.
0:19:04 > 0:19:10I'm going to find out how sharp you are and how attentive you are. This is a Know Your Enemy test.
0:19:12 > 0:19:15So, it's a Know Your Enemy. Talk us through it, Doyle.
0:19:15 > 0:19:21Has Gary been paying attention? Bentley will ask him some questions about his date and Becca's listening,
0:19:21 > 0:19:26- so every answer's crucial to his survival in the game.- Do you think he'll do well?- Hell, no!
0:19:26 > 0:19:30Question one. What is the lovely lady's name?
0:19:32 > 0:19:36- Are you kidding me, boy?- No, no. - What is the lovely lady's name, man?
0:19:36 > 0:19:40It's, erm... Becca.
0:19:40 > 0:19:43- What colour are her eyes? - Brown, hazel.
0:19:45 > 0:19:49- What is her bra size? - I'll go with C, mate.
0:19:49 > 0:19:54- That's the wrong answer, man! You should never think about a woman's bra size!- Oh, sorry.
0:19:55 > 0:20:00- Continue dating for now, man. All right?- Thank you. Oh, gosh.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03Oh. Oh. Gosh indeed. That was wincingly terrible.
0:20:03 > 0:20:09- And yet he's still in the game. Watch and learn, Jamie.- Hm. James. Jamie? Jamie's fine actually, yeah.
0:20:09 > 0:20:14Antonio's been back in the date zone dating Lucie for a little while now, so let's listen in.
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Are you into animals? Do you like animals?
0:20:17 > 0:20:21My friend and me bought two hamsters, the little Chinese dwarf ones.
0:20:21 > 0:20:25- One of them is missing a leg. - How did that happen?
0:20:25 > 0:20:27And the other one's balls are falling out of his arse.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30What is this thing coming out of his other thing?
0:20:30 > 0:20:33- How is that coming out, anyway? - That is a good question.
0:20:33 > 0:20:37- What does it look like?- What does my hamster's balls look like?
0:20:37 > 0:20:40What does it look like? You've got a hamster...
0:20:40 > 0:20:43- OK, so you've got the hamster... - Yeah.
0:20:43 > 0:20:47..and then you've got the balls just hanging out in a little sack.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51Does it rub along the floor all the time?
0:20:51 > 0:20:54I don't know. Do you want to... go and talk to him about it,
0:20:54 > 0:20:59- or...shall we move on?- We should probably... Yeah. Probably.
0:20:59 > 0:21:03- What is going on down there tonight? - Jimmy, every man at some point or other
0:21:03 > 0:21:06will come up against the old hamster-ass-ball conversation.
0:21:06 > 0:21:10You got to have your answer down pat. I faced it in '92,
0:21:10 > 0:21:12'95, twice in '97.
0:21:14 > 0:21:17And, of course, '99. A man died that night.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21- What do you mean, men don't...- Shh.
0:21:23 > 0:21:28I love staffies, but I do like a husky, as well, cos my best mate Brad had a husky.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31- But the thing was...- What noises do they make?- Huskies?- Yeah.
0:21:31 > 0:21:35- If he wants attention, he goes kind of like... - HE WHIMPERS
0:21:35 > 0:21:39- Like that.- He does what? - HE WHIMPERS
0:21:39 > 0:21:41- In front of you, like... - HE WHIMPERS
0:21:41 > 0:21:44- What does he do if he's angry? - He'll just go... - HE GROWLS
0:21:44 > 0:21:48No, that would be it, wouldn't it? Cos I've seen him do it before.
0:21:48 > 0:21:52- He gets his teeth out, like, his front teeth and he'll just go... - HE GROWLS
0:21:52 > 0:21:58- Kind of like a wolf would, you know? Have you seen the films with wolves? - Mm.- Kind of like that.
0:21:59 > 0:22:03So, er, perfect man? Tell me about him.
0:22:03 > 0:22:07See, I go for, like, bad guys.
0:22:07 > 0:22:11- I've always had a thing for Davina McCall.- Really?- I think she's hot.
0:22:11 > 0:22:15- Definitely could.- I've dressed up as an ice cream before.
0:22:15 > 0:22:19- An ice cream?- Mm-hm. - I'd like to lick. - SHE LAUGHS
0:22:19 > 0:22:23- No, no, no, no! - Oh, you're so funny. Oh.
0:22:23 > 0:22:26'How can you not love this guy and his ridiculous plays?
0:22:26 > 0:22:30'He pleaded with her not to press the blow-out button, but she went for it.
0:22:30 > 0:22:33No, no, no, no!
0:22:34 > 0:22:38Bambi, beautiful, come over here and talk to me for a second.
0:22:41 > 0:22:45- How you doing?- I'm good, thanks. - What's the problem?
0:22:45 > 0:22:49Basically, I said I've dressed up as an ice cream before
0:22:49 > 0:22:52and he said he wanted to lick me.
0:22:52 > 0:22:55- It just seems a bit like forced conversation.- Right.
0:22:55 > 0:22:59All right, sweetie, come on, let's sort this out.
0:22:59 > 0:23:02- All right, buddy, we meet again. - We certainly do.
0:23:02 > 0:23:06When you're with a pretty lady like this, you got to think two steps ahead
0:23:06 > 0:23:10and don't let the conversation dry up. Now get your ass up!
0:23:12 > 0:23:14See you later, baby.
0:23:14 > 0:23:17'Fortune favours the brave, but not Chris.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21'Live strong, you strange little British man.'
0:23:23 > 0:23:28Have you seen any of the other girls around here that you think are quite nice?
0:23:28 > 0:23:32Erm, the other one.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35Yeah, I think she looks all right, like.
0:23:35 > 0:23:37No. Don't do that! Oh, no!
0:23:37 > 0:23:40'No!'
0:23:40 > 0:23:42Bingo! She baited the trap and he bit!
0:23:42 > 0:23:48Never admit to liking another lady, even if you do, which you will, but you definitely shouldn't.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50OK, let's see what Bentley makes of all this.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53All right, young man, we meet again for the third time.
0:23:53 > 0:23:57- Oh, goody.- This time you just took an invisible double barrel
0:23:57 > 0:24:00- and shot yourself in the foot, man. - Mm-hm.
0:24:00 > 0:24:03You like the look of someone else? This is not enough for you?
0:24:03 > 0:24:09- No, no, that was... - Get out of town, man! Get out of town!- I'm going, mate.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11He's on down the road, man.
0:24:13 > 0:24:18So Chesney lookalike and husky impersonator Gary is on his way again.
0:24:18 > 0:24:20And the delectable Poppy Weathers is waiting.
0:24:20 > 0:24:23- Gary, Gary, Gary.- Hello, sweetheart.
0:24:23 > 0:24:26Hello. It was all going so well with Becca!
0:24:26 > 0:24:29- Yeah. I was enjoying it, I was. - Yeah.
0:24:29 > 0:24:32You literally had one hand on the prize.
0:24:32 > 0:24:35And by prize, I mean fanny.
0:24:35 > 0:24:38But then, you know, you ballsed it up.
0:24:38 > 0:24:40She looks all right, like.
0:24:42 > 0:24:44Oh, no.
0:24:44 > 0:24:47Get on out there and do your thing.
0:24:47 > 0:24:50- I'll do you well, promise. - Do me well. - HE LAUGHS
0:24:50 > 0:24:55Gary has got little chance of clinching the win here in the dying few moments of dating.
0:24:55 > 0:25:01I'll tell you who's got a chance of clinching this...whatever you said. It's Greg!
0:25:01 > 0:25:04- Win. I said win. - Didn't sound like that.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07Here's what it sounded like. HE JABBERS
0:25:07 > 0:25:11Where do you tend to go on holiday? Do you have anywhere in particular...
0:25:11 > 0:25:16- I love America. - Yeah, I was there this summer and I could so easily live out there.
0:25:16 > 0:25:20- I think it's just such a... - Where did you go? - It was three and a half weeks
0:25:20 > 0:25:22- and we did ten days in Miami. - Ohh, yeah.
0:25:22 > 0:25:26- What was that noise? - It's an orgasm, Jimmy!
0:25:26 > 0:25:31We had our first female climax in UK WSOD. This is a proud, proud moment!
0:25:31 > 0:25:34- Those are real?- Jay-jitsu, come on!
0:25:34 > 0:25:38Having taken millions of women around the world to the moment of bliss,
0:25:38 > 0:25:42I think I should know what I'm talking about. Boys, hit the replay!
0:25:42 > 0:25:45Ohh, yeah.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47That's not a nice sound.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50HE LAUGHS It's the greatest sound on earth.
0:25:52 > 0:25:57'But for every climax, there is an anti-climax, and tonight there were two, in the form of Ian...
0:25:57 > 0:26:01- What kind of girl would you be? - A slag. No, I'm kidding. I wouldn't be.
0:26:01 > 0:26:04- '..and Ricky.'- How do you like your eggs in the morning?
0:26:04 > 0:26:07- Scrambled. - I was talking about the song.
0:26:07 > 0:26:09So was I.
0:26:09 > 0:26:13- 'Yikes. Those really were their best bits. Quite remarkable.' - KLAXON BLARES
0:26:13 > 0:26:16'And it's all over!'
0:26:16 > 0:26:19Yes, indeed, that noise means it is the end of dating.
0:26:19 > 0:26:23It is now time to crown the winner. Over to referee Bentley.
0:26:27 > 0:26:31Throughout my career, I've had the honour and the privilege
0:26:31 > 0:26:34to preside over some of the greatest dating sessions in history.
0:26:34 > 0:26:37That, gentlemen, was not one of them.
0:26:37 > 0:26:42No. But...we've got to name a winner.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46It's in the rules. And that winner is...
0:26:57 > 0:27:00- ..Greg! - APPLAUSE
0:27:08 > 0:27:11'There is it. Confirmation that Greg is tonight's winner
0:27:11 > 0:27:14'with 59,400 points.
0:27:14 > 0:27:18'Antonio is in second place and Chris, despite all his efforts,
0:27:18 > 0:27:21- 'comes in third.' - 'I loved that crazy little guy.'
0:27:21 > 0:27:23'Yeah, I know you did, Doyle.
0:27:23 > 0:27:26'Time now for a final thought from you.'
0:27:33 > 0:27:36Hey. What have we learned tonight?
0:27:36 > 0:27:41Men, at some point in your dating careers, you will face the hamster-ass-ball conundrum.
0:27:41 > 0:27:47Learn from what you've seen tonight. Be ready, be vigilant. Go forth and conquer.
0:27:47 > 0:27:51And ladies, we learned that the men of Britain look and act weird.
0:27:51 > 0:27:53- I'm not weird.- You're the weirdest.
0:27:53 > 0:27:57Until next time, date strong, date fast, date tight.
0:27:57 > 0:28:01From me, Doyle McManus, good night.
0:28:01 > 0:28:04And from me, James Chetwyn-Talbot, good night.
0:28:04 > 0:28:06HE HUMS
0:28:09 > 0:28:13Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:13 > 0:28:13.