0:00:19 > 0:00:20Hello and welcome to
0:00:20 > 0:00:24the first-ever British season of the World Series of Dating.
0:00:24 > 0:00:26I am the BBC's James Chetwyn-Talbot,
0:00:26 > 0:00:28and with me, all the way from the USA,
0:00:28 > 0:00:32is five times WSOD champion, Doyle McManus.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Thrilled to be here. Hello, England!
0:00:34 > 0:00:35It's the United Kingdom.
0:00:35 > 0:00:38So, Doyle, we're about to see real British people competitively date.
0:00:38 > 0:00:41You and I are here to commentate on the action as it unfolds,
0:00:41 > 0:00:44a little bit like Andy Grey and Richard Keys, only less sexist.
0:00:44 > 0:00:46Can't promise anything.
0:00:46 > 0:00:47Take us through the rules.
0:00:47 > 0:00:49The World Series of Dating sees
0:00:49 > 0:00:52seduction, sport and supper smashed into each other.
0:00:52 > 0:00:55In each heat, four guys enter the datezone
0:00:55 > 0:00:58and their mission is to date the lady for as long as they can,
0:00:58 > 0:01:01each second at the table earning him ten points.
0:01:01 > 0:01:05- Do you like transport? - Nobody has really asked me that question before.
0:01:05 > 0:01:07These guys need to be at the top of the dating game,
0:01:07 > 0:01:09because if these girls are left cold,
0:01:09 > 0:01:10they'll hit the blowout button.
0:01:11 > 0:01:15Oh, my God! You'll die!
0:01:15 > 0:01:18Legendary WSOD referee Bentley will make a judgement call on the date.
0:01:18 > 0:01:23For minor dating errors, the guy may get another chance, but if a dating violation has occurred...
0:01:23 > 0:01:25That's a Cleveland violation, man!
0:01:25 > 0:01:28- ..the guy is off the table. - Go ahead, man!
0:01:28 > 0:01:30The winner is the guy who lasted the longest.
0:01:30 > 0:01:33The battle to become
0:01:33 > 0:01:36the UK's greatest living dater has begun. Yeah!
0:01:36 > 0:01:37Those are the rules.
0:01:37 > 0:01:39Let's meet the four fearsome ladies
0:01:39 > 0:01:42who'll be out there in the datezone tonight.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45Louiza is 23 and from Leicester.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48I believe you misread that. She is from Lie-ces-ter.
0:01:48 > 0:01:50Leicester! She likes men who go to the gym.
0:01:50 > 0:01:54I'm in the gym all the time. It's a great place to pick up women.
0:01:54 > 0:01:56Just bait the hook with a tight pair of cycle shorts
0:01:56 > 0:01:57and you'll get a nibble.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00That's my cue to move on to Robyn.
0:02:00 > 0:02:01She's a media sales executive.
0:02:01 > 0:02:05She's 27, describes herself as impatient, and she's from Preston.
0:02:05 > 0:02:08And you know what they say about Northern women.
0:02:08 > 0:02:09- No, what?- Do they put out more?
0:02:09 > 0:02:12No! They're friendly! Great. That'll get in complaints.
0:02:12 > 0:02:15Third girl tonight is 20-year-old Laura, from Norfolk.
0:02:15 > 0:02:19She wants a man to be well groomed, athletic and a fan of football.
0:02:19 > 0:02:20What? Like, soccer?
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Then I'm afraid the kind of guy she's into isn't into chicks.
0:02:23 > 0:02:27Finally tonight, it's 23-year-old Bambi from Birmingham.
0:02:27 > 0:02:28I once dated a girl called Bambi.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31- She was like the one in the film. - I see where you're going.
0:02:31 > 0:02:36- Was she bad at ice skating? - No, her mum was shot by hunters.
0:02:36 > 0:02:38And that's our girls!
0:02:38 > 0:02:39Let's go down to the datezone
0:02:39 > 0:02:42and meet the first four boys who'll fight it out tonight.
0:02:43 > 0:02:47First out of the blocks, it's Chris. A 21-year-old student from Glasgow.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49Chris's best chat-up line is,
0:02:49 > 0:02:51"Did you just fart? Because you blew me away."
0:02:51 > 0:02:53Wow! That's beautiful, man.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58Second out, it's Jonny from Hampshire.
0:02:58 > 0:03:02If confidence was chocolate, he'd eat himself.
0:03:02 > 0:03:03- How does that work as a metaphor? - A meta-what?
0:03:07 > 0:03:10Next up is 20-year-old Marcus from Woking. Just look at that hair!
0:03:10 > 0:03:14That is the hair of a champion, right there. Strong, long and full of product.
0:03:15 > 0:03:19Finally, kissing his muscles and dusting off the dandruff,
0:03:19 > 0:03:21it's Scottish joiner, Gary.
0:03:21 > 0:03:24I really love a man who is good with his hands. Know what I'm talking about?
0:03:24 > 0:03:30Absolutely know what you're talking about. You cannot underestimate the value of good DIY skills.
0:03:30 > 0:03:31And there he is!
0:03:31 > 0:03:33GUNSHOTS FIRE
0:03:33 > 0:03:39The judge, jury and date executioner himself. It is referee Bentley.
0:03:46 > 0:03:50Greetings, gladiators. Welcome to my arena. You're in my world now.
0:03:50 > 0:03:57I see before me a fine example of prime British beef.
0:03:57 > 0:04:01Ready to do battle in the noble and ancient art of dating.
0:04:01 > 0:04:03All right, fellas, lock it in!
0:04:03 > 0:04:05Lock it in.
0:04:05 > 0:04:06Who's going to make me proud?
0:04:06 > 0:04:07ALL: We are!
0:04:07 > 0:04:09Start dating, man!
0:04:14 > 0:04:18- Hi there.- Hi.- I'm so happy I got you. Let's put it that way.
0:04:18 > 0:04:21- You are stunning. You're beautiful.- Thanks.
0:04:21 > 0:04:22- I'm Jonny, by the way.- Jonny?
0:04:22 > 0:04:25- All right to give you a kiss on the cheek?- That's a bit too much.
0:04:25 > 0:04:30- That's fine. That's fine. - Yeah. Control yourself over there. - I'm in control!
0:04:31 > 0:04:34Uh-ho! Louiza has come out swinging tonight.
0:04:36 > 0:04:40- So then, yes, I'm Marcus. - Laura. Nice to meet you.
0:04:42 > 0:04:45Yeah, so, how...
0:04:46 > 0:04:51- It's all right.- I'm really quite bad with nerves and stuff, but...
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Erm...
0:04:53 > 0:04:56- I like your jumper, by the way. - Cheers. It's, er...
0:04:56 > 0:05:00It's from River Island. If I'm allowed to say that.
0:05:00 > 0:05:02- It's nice.- Yeah. I like your dress.
0:05:02 > 0:05:03- Thank you.- Kind of revealing!
0:05:05 > 0:05:08Oh! Poor chap! He's really got the nerves there.
0:05:08 > 0:05:12Come on! That's a deliberate move. The shy guy.
0:05:12 > 0:05:15Hugh Grant built his entire career on that strategy.
0:05:15 > 0:05:16Chicks go nuts for it.
0:05:16 > 0:05:18I'm not sure "chicks" is the right word.
0:05:18 > 0:05:21He shouldn't be nervous. He's good-looking.
0:05:21 > 0:05:22Yeah, well, clearly Laura is impressed that
0:05:22 > 0:05:25Marcus imports his clothes from an island. Exotic!
0:05:27 > 0:05:29Oh, you've been to Jamaica? Wow!
0:05:29 > 0:05:32It's funny you should say that, because you're Ja-maic-ing me crazy!
0:05:32 > 0:05:38- You heard that one before?- Yeah, but I like how you got that in.
0:05:38 > 0:05:40That's so funny.
0:05:40 > 0:05:43I'll probably just stay away from the child play.
0:05:43 > 0:05:44Yeah. It was good. It was worth a shot.
0:05:44 > 0:05:48Chris's chat-up line was about as convincing as his toupee.
0:05:48 > 0:05:50I think it's actually a hairstyle
0:05:50 > 0:05:53- that is trendy with the kids these days.- Well, it shouldn't be.
0:05:53 > 0:05:55Boys, bring in the WS0D tele-strater.
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Chris needs to commit to a hairstyle.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03He's either got too much hair here or not enough here,
0:06:03 > 0:06:05but he should never go with one of these.
0:06:05 > 0:06:09No-one likes a Charlie Chaplain. Hitler even less.
0:06:09 > 0:06:10OK. Moving on.
0:06:13 > 0:06:15- You into football?- I love football.
0:06:15 > 0:06:19- What team do you support? - Rangers. I like Man City as well.
0:06:23 > 0:06:24Oh, no!
0:06:26 > 0:06:29Well, a very early press of the blowout button there.
0:06:29 > 0:06:31I think I should probably step in here and explain to you, Doyle.
0:06:31 > 0:06:34Do you know what Man City is?
0:06:34 > 0:06:38Sure do. It's San Francisco's finest gay bar. Hello, Maurice.
0:06:38 > 0:06:40Let's see how Bentley calls this one.
0:06:40 > 0:06:42All right, young man. Here's the deal.
0:06:42 > 0:06:44During my short time in the UK,
0:06:44 > 0:06:50I've noticed that a Man City fan and a Man United fan is a big problem.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52So, clearly, you ain't got no future here, man.
0:06:52 > 0:06:53I'm going to need you to raise up.
0:06:55 > 0:06:58And I'm going to need you to hit the road.
0:06:58 > 0:06:59Go on now! Get!
0:07:00 > 0:07:02Specially created for the UK,
0:07:02 > 0:07:04it's a Petty Tribalism Violation.
0:07:04 > 0:07:08Gary's short time at the table means he won't score many points.
0:07:09 > 0:07:10However, he could be back in the datezone,
0:07:10 > 0:07:12but for now, he is with our touchline reporter,
0:07:12 > 0:07:15the effervescent, if I may say so, Poppy Weathers.
0:07:15 > 0:07:17Tell me about it. Football?
0:07:17 > 0:07:19Mmm. It went all right,
0:07:19 > 0:07:22and then I remembered she said she was from Manchester.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25I just came out and said I like Manchester city.
0:07:25 > 0:07:28And she likes Man U.
0:07:28 > 0:07:29It's never going to happen.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34SHE LAUGHS
0:07:34 > 0:07:36Like Romeo and Juliet.
0:07:36 > 0:07:40Chillies and noshing.
0:07:40 > 0:07:41It can never be.
0:07:44 > 0:07:45Got any pets?
0:07:45 > 0:07:49Yeah, I got a little dog. I love her. Her name's Foxy.
0:07:49 > 0:07:51- Yeah?- Little foxy dog.- Yeah?
0:07:51 > 0:07:57- How about you?- I had a hamster, but sadly no longer.- Aw!
0:07:57 > 0:08:02- What was your hamster's name? - Glen. Wee Glen the hamster.
0:08:02 > 0:08:05It's always more sad, eh?
0:08:05 > 0:08:07Glen. That's so cute.
0:08:07 > 0:08:10Brings back memories. Move on quickly!
0:08:10 > 0:08:15Oh, nice play! Using a dead pet to get sympathy.
0:08:15 > 0:08:18With Gary gone, it's time for a new guy in the datezone. Let's meet him.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20This is Kevin.
0:08:20 > 0:08:22He's 26 and he's called Kevin.
0:08:22 > 0:08:24I'm not great at these interjunctions.
0:08:24 > 0:08:26Why don't you take over, Jimbo?
0:08:26 > 0:08:29James! It's too late anyway, he's reached the table.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33- Hi, how are you doing?- Hi. Good, thank you.- What's your name?- Robyn. - Pleased to meet you. I'm Kevin.
0:08:33 > 0:08:35- Nice to meet you. - Whereabouts are you from?
0:08:35 > 0:08:37- Preston, in Lancashire.- Preston?
0:08:37 > 0:08:40- What is it you do with yourself? - I work in sales.
0:08:40 > 0:08:42- Ah!- What about you?
0:08:42 > 0:08:44- I'm a personal trainer.- Ah!
0:08:44 > 0:08:45I need a personal trainer in my life.
0:08:45 > 0:08:48Do you enjoy working out, yeah?
0:08:48 > 0:08:50No, but I think a personal trainer would be good,
0:08:50 > 0:08:52to have someone helping you work out
0:08:52 > 0:08:55and someone to get sweaty with.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59That's quite a bold statement there!
0:08:59 > 0:09:01- It is a bold statement. - It's good.
0:09:01 > 0:09:04I like his tan. I didn't know they had sun in Britain.
0:09:04 > 0:09:05Only in certain shops.
0:09:05 > 0:09:07Let's check in on nervous Marcus.
0:09:08 > 0:09:10Online gaming, that's another thing I do.
0:09:10 > 0:09:11Really? What games do you play?
0:09:12 > 0:09:15- World of Warcraft.- Are you serious? - Yeah.- The same!
0:09:15 > 0:09:17- You play?- Yeah. - Oh, my God! What do you play?
0:09:17 > 0:09:21- No way. No way. That's mental! - What do you play?
0:09:21 > 0:09:25- You've proper excited me now. - Gnome rogue.- Gnome rogue?
0:09:25 > 0:09:28I used to be a Troll rogue, and now I'm a Blood Elf Priest.
0:09:28 > 0:09:32- Are you, like, 85?- Obviously. - Do you raid?
0:09:32 > 0:09:36- I go on the Orc runs with my guild. - Cool!- I haven't got time.- Yeah.
0:09:36 > 0:09:40I was actually, while I was at college, this sounds big-headed,
0:09:40 > 0:09:42but I was in one of the top guilds.
0:09:43 > 0:09:45- Do you know Method? - Yeah. You were in Method?
0:09:45 > 0:09:48- Yeah.- Oh, my God! Always been a Rogue?- Yeah.
0:09:48 > 0:09:52- Erm, no actually. I played DK in Method.- What server were they on?
0:09:52 > 0:09:55They were on Silvanus but they moved to Axavius...
0:09:55 > 0:09:58- As if you were in Method!- Yeah.
0:09:58 > 0:10:01- What the hell is that all about? - Uh...no idea.
0:10:01 > 0:10:04That may have been the dreariest conversation
0:10:04 > 0:10:07- in the WSOD's proud 40-year history. - Yes. Very weird.
0:10:07 > 0:10:08Strange.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Let's get back to dating.
0:10:13 > 0:10:14- How tall are you?- Five foot seven.
0:10:14 > 0:10:18- Don't buzz me. Don't buzz me. - How are you going to stop me buzzing you?
0:10:18 > 0:10:22- Because you've not heard more. Just...- But you're too short. - No, no, no.
0:10:22 > 0:10:24That doesn't mean you need to buzz me. That's a bit unfair.
0:10:24 > 0:10:27DO NOT PRESS THE BUTTON!
0:10:27 > 0:10:32- WOW! This guy is desperate. - Yeah, to win. Awesome!
0:10:33 > 0:10:36I like your little accent, though.
0:10:36 > 0:10:39- Well, I'm from daahn saahth. - But you're very like, "Oh, well..."
0:10:39 > 0:10:41- I know.- No, it's nice.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42I get that quite a lot.
0:10:45 > 0:10:48- Were you nervous before you came on here?- I'm not loving those eating habits. What was that?
0:10:48 > 0:10:53- Oh, yeah. Sorry.- With the accent, I would have thought you maybe would have had better table manners.
0:10:53 > 0:10:55You're right. I should do.
0:10:55 > 0:10:59I'm in a different environment than usual, so I've...
0:10:59 > 0:11:00You're a bit under pressure?
0:11:00 > 0:11:04- A bit under pressure. A little bit. - Go on then, sell yourself to me.
0:11:04 > 0:11:06Sell myself. Right...
0:11:06 > 0:11:07Erm...
0:11:09 > 0:11:13Well, I'm quite tall, brown hair.
0:11:15 > 0:11:15- I'm sorry.- Go for it.
0:11:15 > 0:11:17- Yeah.- That's fine.
0:11:17 > 0:11:19BUZZER
0:11:19 > 0:11:22Can I talk to you for a second?
0:11:29 > 0:11:32Erm...he's just a bit of a wet fish. Do you know what I mean?
0:11:32 > 0:11:35And I can't get past his shirt.
0:11:35 > 0:11:37It's like he's wearing his pyjamas.
0:11:37 > 0:11:42OK. All right. Come with me.
0:11:48 > 0:11:51All right, buddy. It's the end of the line.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54So, get up and take a walk.
0:11:54 > 0:11:56I know you can move faster than that, man!
0:11:57 > 0:11:59Half wet fish, half pyjama top.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02A Can't Put My Finger On It offence.
0:12:02 > 0:12:03Jonny's a gonny.
0:12:03 > 0:12:07Well, he lasted long enough to score 23,640 points,
0:12:07 > 0:12:11- but what went wrong there, Doyle? - Well, I have two notes.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14One, when asked to sell yourself by the lady, go with more than your hair colour.
0:12:14 > 0:12:19- Mm, perhaps listing your hobbies? - No! Not that.
0:12:19 > 0:12:21Two, control your woman.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25Kevin says, "Do not press the buzzer," and the buzzer isn't pressed.
0:12:25 > 0:12:29Jonny says, "Go for it," and Louiza presses the button!
0:12:33 > 0:12:37- I want to see if you can... I want to see your rhythm, definitely. - Arse wiggle?
0:12:37 > 0:12:43Yeah, I want you to turn around and, like, give me a little... either shimmy or a...
0:12:43 > 0:12:44Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle?
0:12:44 > 0:12:46Yeah. See if you can do a little Beyonce shake.
0:12:48 > 0:12:53- You're mean. I love it! - It kind of turns you on, I think.
0:12:53 > 0:12:55- Do you want me to do it here? - Just there.- There?
0:12:57 > 0:13:00- Right. Tell me when.- I'm ready.
0:13:02 > 0:13:06- Do you want a feel? - It's hard! It is! That's good.
0:13:10 > 0:13:13You're crazy! I love it. No, I love it. I love that you're confident.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17But you're not arrogant, so that's good.
0:13:17 > 0:13:18Well, this guy is good.
0:13:18 > 0:13:21I think we could be looking at tonight's winner.
0:13:21 > 0:13:23You know, JJ, steely buns are
0:13:23 > 0:13:25an important part of the dater's armoury.
0:13:25 > 0:13:26Mine were, and still are, like rocks.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29Can I ask, how do you maintain them?
0:13:29 > 0:13:32Very simple. Electrodes. One in each cheek.
0:13:32 > 0:13:36A simple press of this button and the muscles contract
0:13:36 > 0:13:38and it's, "Hello, solid buns!" Try.
0:13:38 > 0:13:40They're still in there.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43FART
0:13:43 > 0:13:48- That's one of the side effects. Sorry about that.- What is that smell? Is that burning hair?
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Yeah, that's one of the other side effects.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53- I do that about 200 times a day. - Take it back.- Thank you.
0:13:53 > 0:13:55FARTS
0:13:55 > 0:13:57- No, no.- That's the stuff! Oh, yeah!
0:13:57 > 0:14:00Go for it! Do it! Be a winner. Be a winner!
0:14:00 > 0:14:05AH! OK.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Whooh! Ha ha!
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Who's ready to play?
0:14:10 > 0:14:13- Your ring goes with your earrings as well.- Yeah.
0:14:13 > 0:14:16- Triangles all round. - Yeah. Thank you.
0:14:16 > 0:14:17Your watch is nice, too.
0:14:17 > 0:14:20- Thanks very much. My grandpa gave it to me.- Oh, that's lovely.
0:14:20 > 0:14:22- Cheers.- Really lovely. But...
0:14:22 > 0:14:24I'm really sorry, but...
0:14:24 > 0:14:25BUZZER
0:14:26 > 0:14:29Can you speak to me for a second, please?
0:14:32 > 0:14:34How are you doing, sweetheart?
0:14:34 > 0:14:37I tried to give him a chance, but I just wasn't impressed. OK?
0:14:44 > 0:14:48All right, buddy. Here's the situation.
0:14:48 > 0:14:49I like you.
0:14:49 > 0:14:52Unfortunately, with a lady like Bambi,
0:14:52 > 0:14:54you've got to keep her engaged.
0:14:54 > 0:14:57So what I need you to do is just take a walk
0:14:57 > 0:15:00- and come back up and try again. - Will do.- All right?
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Oh, that's a Shania Violation.
0:15:02 > 0:15:04Man, he felt like a woman?
0:15:04 > 0:15:05No! He don't impress her much.
0:15:05 > 0:15:08Oh, yeah. Of course. Still, he's been at her a while,
0:15:08 > 0:15:10so he's racked up a few points.
0:15:10 > 0:15:13If he'd been more decisive about his haircut, I think he'd have scored more.
0:15:13 > 0:15:17Speaking of noteworthy hair, let's check in on Marcus.
0:15:33 > 0:15:34BUZZER
0:15:36 > 0:15:39All right, bud. Here's the deal.
0:15:39 > 0:15:44That's a real great look, and I think you've got some potential, OK?
0:15:44 > 0:15:50Get some confidence and come on back, all right? Now go ahead.
0:15:50 > 0:15:52I'm a big fan of yours, man.
0:15:52 > 0:15:56Well, that is a Words Don't Come Easy Violation.
0:15:56 > 0:15:57Almost a mercy killing there.
0:15:57 > 0:15:59Sensitively handled by Referee Bentley.
0:15:59 > 0:16:00He's sensitive as a referee.
0:16:00 > 0:16:02And as a lover.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04OK. Poppy is with Marcus.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08- You two bonded, didn't you? - Yeah.- Over World of Warcraft?
0:16:08 > 0:16:10- Yeah, that was actually really weird.- Why?
0:16:10 > 0:16:13Because I don't actually meet any girls that play it,
0:16:13 > 0:16:16and the girls that do play it are usually quite bad.
0:16:16 > 0:16:19That has been around for a while, though, hasn't it?
0:16:19 > 0:16:22- Yeah, a few years. - I used to play it myself.
0:16:22 > 0:16:25- Yeah, sure!- But, you know. Yeah, I did!
0:16:25 > 0:16:29Yeah, my wizard sleeve used to see quite a lot of action in the '80s.
0:16:29 > 0:16:31Not so much now. Sadly.
0:16:31 > 0:16:35Let's pick up the action as blue-blooded Jonny prepares to
0:16:35 > 0:16:37nosh down with Norfolk nymphet Laura.
0:16:40 > 0:16:40- Hi there, Laura.- Hiya.
0:16:40 > 0:16:43- It's lovely to meet you. - Lovely to meet you too.
0:16:43 > 0:16:46- Can I say how lovely you look tonight?- Thank you.
0:16:46 > 0:16:48Jonny. Lovely to meet you.
0:16:48 > 0:16:49Can I give you a kiss on the cheek?
0:16:49 > 0:16:51You can do whatever you please.
0:16:51 > 0:16:52- Is that all right?- Yeah!
0:16:52 > 0:16:57- Hi. Jonny. Lovely to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
0:16:57 > 0:17:01Yeah. Excellent. So, um, are you at university?
0:17:01 > 0:17:04- What are you doing with yourself? - Yeah, I'm studying maths.
0:17:04 > 0:17:07- You are clever. Maths. Good shout. - What are you doing?
0:17:07 > 0:17:11I'm no mathematician, let's put it that way.
0:17:11 > 0:17:14- What is that? That's not cool. - That is awkward, isn't it?
0:17:14 > 0:17:18- That was awful. Can't believe I just did that.- In fact...
0:17:22 > 0:17:25OK, here we are. The first heartstopper of the night.
0:17:25 > 0:17:29If the lady is uncertain about her man, she can invoke the heartstopper.
0:17:29 > 0:17:35- Basically, it's either a physical or verbal challenge designed to test the male daters.- That's right.
0:17:35 > 0:17:37And this is the Silver-tongued Sonata,
0:17:37 > 0:17:39which means that Jonny must now improvise
0:17:39 > 0:17:41a romantic poem for his date, Laura.
0:17:41 > 0:17:45One of the tougher challenges normally reserved for the pros.
0:17:45 > 0:17:46Let's see what you've got.
0:17:52 > 0:17:53Right. Erm...
0:17:54 > 0:17:56I'm talking about love here, aren't I?
0:17:56 > 0:17:58Erm...
0:18:00 > 0:18:02You are as beautiful as a rose petal
0:18:02 > 0:18:05that has fallen from the sky, from heaven.
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Like an angel has popped into my hand,
0:18:08 > 0:18:11and I am peeling away how beautiful you are.
0:18:11 > 0:18:12The love that just comes
0:18:12 > 0:18:15from your beautiful brown eyes is just shining.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19It's just so lovely, and the fact that you look at me now
0:18:19 > 0:18:22and I'm here with you... I'm saving this moment,
0:18:22 > 0:18:24I am cherishing this moment.
0:18:24 > 0:18:25Stop!
0:18:26 > 0:18:30That was some good stuff, man. That was Gary Barlow-esque, man.
0:18:30 > 0:18:31- Continue dating.- He's my hero.
0:18:33 > 0:18:37- I'm impressed, actually. I am impressed.- Whoa!
0:18:37 > 0:18:40Now I am unimpressed!
0:18:42 > 0:18:45You need something new to say, because I'm getting a bit tired.
0:18:45 > 0:18:47- You're getting tired?- Yes.
0:18:47 > 0:18:48What do you want to talk about?
0:18:48 > 0:18:50- What do you want to talk about?- Mm...
0:18:55 > 0:18:57Robyn, princess, can you walk to the centre?
0:19:01 > 0:19:02How are you doing?
0:19:02 > 0:19:04He's been with me a while now,
0:19:04 > 0:19:07and he's done his best, but it's time to go.
0:19:07 > 0:19:07All right.
0:19:14 > 0:19:16- Hi, bud.- All right.
0:19:16 > 0:19:20- A man with a nice tan. Beautiful teeth and nice smile.- Thank you.
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Move!
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Move, boy!
0:19:24 > 0:19:27Well, he ran dry after just over an hour at the table,
0:19:27 > 0:19:29but with 36,440 points scored,
0:19:29 > 0:19:34Kevin is at the top of the leader board as things stand.
0:19:35 > 0:19:39- What colour pants are you wearing? - You actually just asked me that?
0:19:39 > 0:19:42I'm joking!
0:19:42 > 0:19:44You'd better... You were joking?
0:19:44 > 0:19:47Of course I was. You couldn't be wearing a bra
0:19:47 > 0:19:49with that top, could you?
0:19:51 > 0:19:54Come on! If you saw me in a bar, you would.
0:19:54 > 0:19:58You want me to be brutally honest?
0:19:58 > 0:20:01- Yeah.- I've had thrush less painful than this.
0:20:01 > 0:20:04- I'm not even joking. - You've actually had thrush?!
0:20:04 > 0:20:07That's disgusting. I want out now!
0:20:10 > 0:20:15- I really want to buzz you because you're such an arsehole. - I'm not an arsehole!
0:20:15 > 0:20:19- Why have you got that impression? I'm not.- That's the impression you've given me!
0:20:19 > 0:20:23- You've just told me you've got thrush!- I didn't say I've got thrush. Oh, my God!
0:20:23 > 0:20:27Whatever Jonny is doing out there is weird, but it's working.
0:20:28 > 0:20:32The mahogany owl swoops silently into the datezone once again.
0:20:32 > 0:20:35- Hi, how are you?- Are you OK? - I'm not bad.- Good.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38- What's your name? - Kevin. What's your name?
0:20:38 > 0:20:40- Bambi.- That's a unique name.
0:20:40 > 0:20:45- Where are you from, Bambi? - Birmingham.- Birmingham? - Birming-gum.
0:20:45 > 0:20:47So what do you do with yourself, Bambi?
0:20:47 > 0:20:52- I'm a promo girl.- Promo girl! Do you enjoy it?- Love it. Yeah. How about you?
0:20:52 > 0:20:54- I'm a personal trainer. - Oh, that's good.
0:20:54 > 0:20:57- Do you use the gym yourself?- No. - No?- No.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00- I suppose you don't really need it, to be fair.- Ah! Yes, I do.
0:21:00 > 0:21:03- A bit of a jelly belly. - Have you got a jelly belly?
0:21:03 > 0:21:06Another strong start from Kevin. All-out attack.
0:21:06 > 0:21:08Absolutely. Tell the girl she's not fat. Great play.
0:21:10 > 0:21:11I reckon I can impress you.
0:21:13 > 0:21:17- You have to close your eyes, though. - God! No! I'm dreading...
0:21:17 > 0:21:19OK. If you promise me...
0:21:21 > 0:21:24..there's not going to be any involvement with my mouth!
0:21:24 > 0:21:28- No, there won't be.- OK. - Close your eyes.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31Oh, you...!
0:21:31 > 0:21:33- Yes, yes, yes! - Oh, you...
0:21:33 > 0:21:34BUZZER
0:21:34 > 0:21:36NO!
0:21:37 > 0:21:39Laura.
0:21:42 > 0:21:47He told me to close my eyes. He was going to surprise me and impress me and he put food on my face.
0:21:47 > 0:21:52All right. I've seen that. Come on, sweetie. That's totally unacceptable. Calm down.
0:21:52 > 0:21:55- Can I punch him? - No, no. Calm down, sweetie.
0:22:00 > 0:22:05All right, bud. Now you don't cross the line. Get your ass up!
0:22:05 > 0:22:07I'm going to tell you what, man.
0:22:07 > 0:22:10If you don't move fast enough, last you're going to see is the back of my hand, man.
0:22:12 > 0:22:14Bentley upset there and rightly so.
0:22:14 > 0:22:17That's not really acceptable on a first date, is it?
0:22:17 > 0:22:20- Putting custard on a girl's face! - Not always true.
0:22:20 > 0:22:25Stick your nose up your ass man, and blow it real hard until the pressure equalizes.
0:22:25 > 0:22:29Jonny. Oh, Jonny.
0:22:29 > 0:22:33Now, I have had some things put on my face on a first date.
0:22:33 > 0:22:37Believe me, it is a wonder I haven't gone blind in at least one eye.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40But custard! What were you thinking?
0:22:44 > 0:22:48- I'm not doing that on the first date again.- You misread the signals then?
0:22:48 > 0:22:52Big signals. Misread a lot of signals there. Not happy, was she?
0:22:52 > 0:22:55And a new boy has just entered the arena.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57His name is Jed. He is a student. He's 19.
0:22:59 > 0:23:01- Hello.- Hi.- How you doing? Nice to meet you.- OK.
0:23:03 > 0:23:07- Enjoying it so far? - Yeah.- Slightly.
0:23:07 > 0:23:09- What's your name?- Jed.
0:23:09 > 0:23:12- Jed?- Jed.- Like Jedward.
0:23:13 > 0:23:14Like...
0:23:14 > 0:23:15Jedi.
0:23:19 > 0:23:22- What sort of music do you like?- R&B.
0:23:22 > 0:23:25Are you a good... Cut the shapes and stuff?
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Yeah! Yeah. What's your best move?
0:23:28 > 0:23:31- I like to grind.- Do you? Ooh!
0:23:31 > 0:23:34I've got a grinding side to me!
0:23:34 > 0:23:37Oh, ho ho! I'd like to see you grind.
0:23:37 > 0:23:39Doyle, what exactly is grinding?
0:23:39 > 0:23:41Well, it's easier to show you then to tell you.
0:23:41 > 0:23:43- What are you doing?- Oh, yeah! - Please!
0:23:43 > 0:23:46- Ungh!- Oh, no! OK. Please stop.
0:23:46 > 0:23:47HE GRUNTS
0:23:47 > 0:23:51OK. I see what grinding is. OK. Oh, God! Please!
0:23:51 > 0:23:54LOUD GRUNTING
0:23:54 > 0:23:57So, sell yourself to me.
0:23:57 > 0:23:58Er... OK.
0:24:01 > 0:24:04I'm kind of smart-ish. Uh, er...
0:24:04 > 0:24:06I get Bs.
0:24:06 > 0:24:08Right. But that's not an A, is it?
0:24:08 > 0:24:12What else can I sell myself on? You tell me. Sorry...
0:24:12 > 0:24:14- A DJ!- I'm sorry, Jed.- Oh, no!
0:24:15 > 0:24:17BUZZER
0:24:18 > 0:24:21- SLOW MOTION:- Sell yourself to me.
0:24:21 > 0:24:23I get Bs.
0:24:25 > 0:24:30All right, buddy, you're sitting at this table with one of the finest Britain has to offer.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33- You can't last the pace, man.- No.
0:24:33 > 0:24:35Get your ass out of here!
0:24:37 > 0:24:40That's a Yawn Star Violation. Good, quick, clean exit, that one.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45Don't go crying to your momma now.
0:24:46 > 0:24:51Wait! Jonny is entering the datezone and he's heading back to Louiza's table. Again!
0:24:51 > 0:24:54It's a first for the UK game.
0:24:54 > 0:24:58Hi there. I don't think we've met. I'm Jonny.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01- Not you again!- Lovely to meet you. It's Louiza, isn't it?
0:25:01 > 0:25:06- Why are you pretending like you don't know me?!- I'm joking.- Are you trying to go on your second take?
0:25:06 > 0:25:08I've been given a second chance.
0:25:08 > 0:25:10Yeah, you've been given a lifeline.
0:25:10 > 0:25:16- I thought, "Let's start in a better way that we left from off last time."- OK.
0:25:16 > 0:25:18A big bang.
0:25:18 > 0:25:21- But how have you been since I last saw you?- Good.
0:25:21 > 0:25:24- Is that tea or coffee you're going for?- Tea.
0:25:24 > 0:25:29- You must be pretty drunk now after those four glasses of wine. - I'm hammered.- You're hammered!
0:25:32 > 0:25:34what would you say your best feature is?
0:25:34 > 0:25:36Erm...
0:25:36 > 0:25:40My body, probably. Abs maybe.
0:25:40 > 0:25:46Yeah, you need to show me then. You can't... Just do it.
0:25:46 > 0:25:48You're so funny.
0:25:48 > 0:25:50Oh, that is good. Let me feel.
0:25:52 > 0:25:55Yeah, they're hard.
0:25:56 > 0:25:59BUZZER
0:25:59 > 0:26:04And that sound means it is the end of dating and not before time. Bambi's hands were all over Kevin's abs.
0:26:04 > 0:26:09- Kevin's got magnificent abs to go with his buns of steel. Where is that button?- It's been hidden.
0:26:09 > 0:26:12Let's go to Bentley for the announcement of tonight's winner.
0:26:15 > 0:26:19All right, fellas. This is a proud country, rich in history and tradition.
0:26:19 > 0:26:23I admire your monarchy and your sense of fair play.
0:26:23 > 0:26:26And I've also been watching Eastenders. I quite like that.
0:26:26 > 0:26:31But I feel tonight, you men let your country down, man.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34Man, I witnessed was some lame-ass dating out there.
0:26:34 > 0:26:39However, there was one of you who got his groove on tonight.
0:26:41 > 0:26:42Tonight's winner is...
0:26:51 > 0:26:53..Kevin!
0:26:53 > 0:26:54YES!
0:26:54 > 0:26:58Yes! Yes! Get in, yes!
0:27:00 > 0:27:03- SLOW MOTION:- Don't buzz me. Don't buzz me.
0:27:04 > 0:27:07There it is in black AND white. You can't argue with the stats.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11Kevin tops the leaderboard with 50,800 points
0:27:11 > 0:27:14thanks to his taut body and his begging girls not to buzz him.
0:27:17 > 0:27:20Doyle, what are your thoughts on tonight's dating?
0:27:23 > 0:27:27Let's face it, Britain, it's always weird down there
0:27:27 > 0:27:29in the dating zone, but tonight it was especially weird.
0:27:29 > 0:27:34- BREAKING WIND NOISE - Strange hair choices, throwing custard in the lady's face?
0:27:34 > 0:27:37Discussing what kind of guild your warlock is in, and thrush.
0:27:37 > 0:27:42BREAKING WIND NOISE Most importantly, we learned that if you dominate the datezone enough,
0:27:42 > 0:27:46even men who look like mahogany owls can win in the game we call love.
0:27:46 > 0:27:49BREAKING WIND NOISE
0:27:49 > 0:27:52Too wit, to woo. Stay strong, Britain.
0:27:52 > 0:27:57CONSTANT BREAKING WIND NOISE
0:27:58 > 0:28:00Oh-ho! It burns. It burns. AH!
0:28:02 > 0:28:04- That last one was good. - I'm done!- OK.
0:28:15 > 0:28:17Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd