0:00:20 > 0:00:23The use of fruit actually makes it healthy.
0:00:23 > 0:00:25Hello and welcome to the World Series of Dating,
0:00:25 > 0:00:27I'm James Chetwyn-Talbot.
0:00:27 > 0:00:32And I'm Doyle McManus, five-times World Series of Dating champion.
0:00:32 > 0:00:34Retired now, but I love the game.
0:00:34 > 0:00:37Yes, Doyle is here to give us expert insight and analysis
0:00:37 > 0:00:39into the world of competitive dating
0:00:39 > 0:00:41in this, the inaugural UK season.
0:00:41 > 0:00:42I've got to tell you,
0:00:42 > 0:00:45I've been mightily impressed by some of the dating I have seen
0:00:45 > 0:00:48in these ancient islands as I spectate on the amateur circuit.
0:00:48 > 0:00:51Just regular daters, going at it hard in your nation's bars,
0:00:51 > 0:00:54restaurants, movie theatres and public toilets.
0:00:54 > 0:00:56But back to the World Series, here's the low down.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59The World Series of Dating sees seduction,
0:00:59 > 0:01:01sport and suppers smashed into each other.
0:01:01 > 0:01:03Kaboom!
0:01:03 > 0:01:05In each heat, four guys enter the date zone
0:01:05 > 0:01:08and their mission is to date the lady for as long as they can,
0:01:08 > 0:01:11each second at the table earning him 10 points.
0:01:11 > 0:01:14- If you wanted to have sex with me, that's fine.- You're such an asshole!
0:01:14 > 0:01:16These guys need to be at the top of the dating game
0:01:16 > 0:01:21because if these girls are left cold, they will hit the blow-out button.
0:01:21 > 0:01:22Naughty!
0:01:22 > 0:01:26Legendary WSOD referee Bentley will make a judgment call on the date.
0:01:26 > 0:01:30For minor dating errors, the guy may get another chance
0:01:30 > 0:01:32but if a dating violation has occurred.
0:01:32 > 0:01:36- That's a grievous violation, man! - The guy is off the table.
0:01:36 > 0:01:39The winner is the guy who lasted the longest.
0:01:39 > 0:01:42The battle to become UK's greatest living dater has begun.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45- Oh yeah!- Oh yes.
0:01:45 > 0:01:48Here are the four rather intimidating ladies
0:01:48 > 0:01:50who will be grilling our boys in the date zone tonight.
0:01:50 > 0:01:52Oh yeah.
0:01:56 > 0:01:57First up we have Robyn.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00This Preston Princess is 27 years old, 5ft 10,
0:02:00 > 0:02:02and she likes tall men.
0:02:02 > 0:02:06Her ideal man being Jason Statham, who's actually 5ft 9.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08Ah, Jay-Stam, the thinking woman's Vin Diesel.
0:02:08 > 0:02:14This chick probably likes those, em, what do you call them, books.
0:02:14 > 0:02:18Next up we have Marisa, I met her earlier, she's very imposing.
0:02:18 > 0:02:23- She gave him an asthma attack! - I'm allergic to perfume.- Whatever!
0:02:23 > 0:02:25There's a technique for these wild ones.
0:02:25 > 0:02:27It's like facing a charging rhino.
0:02:27 > 0:02:29You've got to meet its gaze, punch it in the nuts
0:02:29 > 0:02:32and stick your finger in its blowhole to suffocate it.
0:02:32 > 0:02:33This is basic stuff.
0:02:33 > 0:02:34OK, here's Bambi.
0:02:34 > 0:02:36She's from Birmingham
0:02:36 > 0:02:39and this little deer has blonde hair and big eyes
0:02:39 > 0:02:41but does not have hooves.
0:02:41 > 0:02:43Finally here is Lucie.
0:02:43 > 0:02:45Our steamy student nutritionist.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49This one's a man eater and man, would I like to be served up on that plate!
0:02:49 > 0:02:52Those are our ladies so let's go down to the date zone
0:02:52 > 0:02:55as I hear the first four boys are raring to go.
0:02:55 > 0:02:59First up, here's Tom, a lettings negotiator from Richmond.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Boring!
0:03:01 > 0:03:03But that is a bold, confident walk.
0:03:03 > 0:03:05The boy is focused and I like it.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Next up is Chris. He's from Barry in South Wales.
0:03:08 > 0:03:11That is the proud mane of a dating lion.
0:03:11 > 0:03:14And the gallop of man ready to pounce on his prey.
0:03:14 > 0:03:17- Oh, this boy is pumped up.- Yes he is.
0:03:17 > 0:03:21The third act tonight is car salesman, Rick.
0:03:21 > 0:03:2216 horsepower of passion,
0:03:22 > 0:03:24looking for one careful lady owner...
0:03:24 > 0:03:26That was lovely and very clean.
0:03:26 > 0:03:29..with two fully inflated airbags!
0:03:29 > 0:03:31Back in the room.
0:03:31 > 0:03:34Oh, hello, who's this?
0:03:34 > 0:03:36Respecting the date zone with a natty blazer
0:03:36 > 0:03:38is Michael from Newcastle upon Tyne.
0:03:38 > 0:03:39Sharp, I like it. This guy looks like
0:03:39 > 0:03:41he knows something about womankind.
0:03:41 > 0:03:43Let's hope so for his sake
0:03:43 > 0:03:45because here comes the muscular mountain of mediation
0:03:45 > 0:03:47that is referee, Bentley.
0:03:47 > 0:03:52- He looks focused tonight, Jay-Way. - Yes he does. It's James.
0:03:55 > 0:03:58Gentlemen, welcome to the World Series of Dating.
0:03:58 > 0:04:03I'm your referee, Bentley, and this is my kingdom.
0:04:03 > 0:04:06You will show it, and the ladies that dwell in it,
0:04:06 > 0:04:09courtesy and due respect.
0:04:09 > 0:04:12I want good, clean dates.
0:04:12 > 0:04:16Make me and men all around the world really proud.
0:04:16 > 0:04:20All right, gentleman, approach your ladies and commence dating.
0:04:20 > 0:04:21Here we go. Let's get dating.
0:04:25 > 0:04:28- Hi, my name's Tom.- I'm Robyn.
0:04:28 > 0:04:31- Robyn, nice to meet you, how are you doing?- I'm very well, thank you.
0:04:31 > 0:04:34- How old are you? - I'm 23, how old are you?
0:04:34 > 0:04:37- 27.- 27? That's not too bad.
0:04:37 > 0:04:41- You're my toy boy!- Yeah? That would be awesome!
0:04:41 > 0:04:44I could go with that, definitely!
0:04:44 > 0:04:46'A strong start there from Tom,
0:04:46 > 0:04:48'the classic "butter wouldn't melt" opener.'
0:04:48 > 0:04:51- Hi.- Michael, what's your name? - Lucie.- Nice to meet you.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53It's just there.
0:04:54 > 0:04:58- How are you?- Nervous. How are you? - Brilliant, thanks.
0:04:58 > 0:05:00- Where are you from?- Oxfordshire. What you do?
0:05:00 > 0:05:03Day job, I'm a consultant for Apple.
0:05:03 > 0:05:05And I manage a nightclub in Newcastle.
0:05:05 > 0:05:07- Right.- Do you go out a lot?
0:05:07 > 0:05:11I quite like your accent, it's doing well for you.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14I like Southern accents, there's something about it,
0:05:14 > 0:05:16that London twang, it's really good.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19- So, would you like a drink? - Oh, yeah, lovely.
0:05:19 > 0:05:24- What would you like to drink? - I'm a water lass, myself.
0:05:24 > 0:05:25Can I get a waiter please?
0:05:28 > 0:05:31WIND BLOWS
0:05:38 > 0:05:41- Bad service in this place, don't you think?- Terrible.
0:05:41 > 0:05:43What's your favourite ice cream?
0:05:43 > 0:05:46Mint, I think.
0:05:46 > 0:05:49Mint's good. I like strawberry.
0:05:49 > 0:05:53I like a mixture, you know the ones
0:05:53 > 0:05:56with vanilla and chocolate and strawberry.
0:05:56 > 0:05:58Me and my ex had an argument. I was like...
0:05:58 > 0:06:00Oh, that's not good.
0:06:00 > 0:06:03That is weak, weak!
0:06:03 > 0:06:07- Are you all right?- Good, thanks.
0:06:07 > 0:06:11- What do you do?- I'm a sales manager.
0:06:11 > 0:06:13What do you sell?
0:06:13 > 0:06:17- I work for a leisure company in London.- Really?- Yeah.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20- I'm a car salesman.- Are you?
0:06:20 > 0:06:23- You've got lovely teeth, by the way, they're really white.- Thanks.
0:06:23 > 0:06:26- Do you have them whitened?- No.
0:06:26 > 0:06:28HOOTER
0:06:28 > 0:06:30Oh, sorry!
0:06:30 > 0:06:34Oh, that is unbelievable, Marisa has hit her blow out button.
0:06:34 > 0:06:39Less than a minute in there. Doyle, that can't be good, right?
0:06:39 > 0:06:43What kind of datesman opens with asking a lady if she's had work done?
0:06:43 > 0:06:46I'll tell you what kind, the crappy kind, this man is a write-off.
0:06:46 > 0:06:48- Or you could say white-off.- Why?
0:06:48 > 0:06:52Because he said something about teeth. It doesn't matter.
0:06:52 > 0:06:54Referee, Bentley, is in place.
0:06:54 > 0:06:56Let's go over now to hear his judgment.
0:06:56 > 0:06:59All right, young man. We've got a situation.
0:06:59 > 0:07:01You're making lame conversation.
0:07:01 > 0:07:03For you, my friend, it's the end of the line.
0:07:03 > 0:07:05Take a walk, man, get out of town!
0:07:05 > 0:07:09# I can't smile without you... #
0:07:09 > 0:07:12That is an offence offence. Rick is gone.
0:07:12 > 0:07:18Welcome to the dating hall of shame, Dickie. Let's check-in on Lucie.
0:07:18 > 0:07:21- This waiter's taking a while. - I know, it's ridiculous.
0:07:21 > 0:07:22Can I get the waiter, please?
0:07:25 > 0:07:30Brilliant. So what have you got for me? What else have you got for me?
0:07:30 > 0:07:33- Hopefully some food. What do you like to eat?- I'm a vegetarian.
0:07:33 > 0:07:37- Really?- How do you feel about that? - So you wouldn't like my favourite meal.
0:07:37 > 0:07:40- What's that?- Turkey dinosaurs, potato smilies and alphabetti spaghetti.
0:07:40 > 0:07:42HOOTER
0:07:44 > 0:07:46These ladies are in a mean mood tonight.
0:07:46 > 0:07:48What's the problem?
0:07:48 > 0:07:51- Quite frankly, I think he's got an attitude problem.- Really?- Mm-hmm.
0:07:51 > 0:07:55- OK.- He hasn't learned from his mistakes.- You don't need that.
0:07:55 > 0:07:58We're going to take care of that, OK? Come on, let's go.
0:07:58 > 0:08:03His gag about British cuisine has not gone down well. He is gone.
0:08:03 > 0:08:06All right, get your ass up. Get out of here, man!
0:08:08 > 0:08:09I need you to walk faster now.
0:08:13 > 0:08:15You don't often see that violation
0:08:15 > 0:08:17but do not mess with the vegetarians, man.
0:08:17 > 0:08:20- They will literally chew you up and spit you out.- Yes, they will.
0:08:20 > 0:08:23- That's because they're vegetarian.- What is?
0:08:23 > 0:08:26Touchline reporter Poppy Weathers is waiting for Michael now.
0:08:26 > 0:08:29- Come on in, Michael.- Hello, Poppy. - Tell me about it.
0:08:29 > 0:08:33She just didn't enjoy it whatsoever. No smirk, no laugh. She buzzed me.
0:08:33 > 0:08:36Turkey dinosaurs, potato smilies and alphabetti spaghetti.
0:08:36 > 0:08:40- Picky, picky Lucie. - Not my best date ever.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44Get out of my sight. Do better next time. What a bad dater.
0:08:44 > 0:08:48- There's always something to do. - Oh, that's good.
0:08:48 > 0:08:53- I like to say I live in the posh end of Barry.- Do you?- Yeah.
0:08:53 > 0:08:5710 minutes away from the airport, five minutes away from a little park.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59I used to take my ex down there, we'd walk down there,
0:08:59 > 0:09:03the sun would shine through the green leaves. We'd walk with each other and just be happy.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07- Aw, was you together long? - Five-and-a-half years.
0:09:07 > 0:09:09- Gosh, that's long.- I know.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12- I kind of wasn't happy the way I broke up with her either.- Really?
0:09:12 > 0:09:14Aww...
0:09:14 > 0:09:16- I know.- That's awful!- I know.
0:09:16 > 0:09:19- Don't...- I have to. That's bad. - HOOTER
0:09:19 > 0:09:22You could never finish with a girl over the phone.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24I think someone just committed dateacide.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27That could be three boys gone already.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31Bambi, sweetheart, come over here for a second.
0:09:32 > 0:09:37He was talking about his ex and he finished with her over the phone.
0:09:37 > 0:09:41- He was talking about his what?- His ex.- I'll take care of the situation.
0:09:45 > 0:09:48All right, buddy. You're in violation. You know that, right?
0:09:48 > 0:09:52Conversation about the ex? Don't say nothing, don't say nothing.
0:09:55 > 0:09:57You're out of here, man, take a walk!
0:10:01 > 0:10:05X-rated conversation. Rookie error!
0:10:05 > 0:10:08That kind of chat has to stay in the WSOD men's locker room.
0:10:08 > 0:10:14NEVER talk about your ex. But never ever admit to dumping her by phone.
0:10:14 > 0:10:17Even though it's the only way to do it. Am I right, guys? Huh?
0:10:17 > 0:10:20I know this guy knows what I'm talking about.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Then forward like that, then back.
0:10:22 > 0:10:26I can't believe you're doing it upside-down. That's really funny.
0:10:26 > 0:10:29You're really nice. You're nothing like I expected.
0:10:29 > 0:10:34- Oh, look at you. Stop it.- You are! - Stop it.- You're gorgeous.
0:10:34 > 0:10:36Yeah, you are, definitely.
0:10:36 > 0:10:40I'm ready to kind of find someone who interests me like you,
0:10:40 > 0:10:45and like, you know, just kind of nice, just a nice person,
0:10:45 > 0:10:48just like a genuinely nice person. So, yeah,
0:10:48 > 0:10:52what did your last boyfriend look like?
0:10:52 > 0:10:57I tend to go for a similar type, which is always like a skinhead,
0:10:57 > 0:11:02like no hair, quite tall, and kind of dark eyes,
0:11:02 > 0:11:05so like opposite to you! Ha-ha!
0:11:07 > 0:11:09- Thank you.- Thank you very much.
0:11:09 > 0:11:12But then you can always try someone who's not your type.
0:11:12 > 0:11:18- See where that lands. - This looks really good, actually.
0:11:18 > 0:11:22- I think it's got coriander in it as well, you know.- I think you should blow on my soup for me.- Yeah?
0:11:23 > 0:11:26- Do you want me to eat it as well?- No!
0:11:26 > 0:11:28I just wanted to see if you'd do it.
0:11:31 > 0:11:35- Not too bad, not too bad.- I wonder if they have a chef for this.
0:11:35 > 0:11:39'Oh, this guy's good. I mean, this guy is good.
0:11:39 > 0:11:44'He opened with the "butter wouldn't melt", and what we've just seen there are two more great plays.'
0:11:44 > 0:11:48- Jay, your thoughts?- Well, coriander can be quite overpowering as a flavour.
0:11:48 > 0:11:53I think I've got a daughter named Coriander. Ha-ha! Ah.
0:11:53 > 0:11:57Anyway, he pretends to be interested in the woman, which is classic,
0:11:57 > 0:12:00and then when things looked a bit rocky, he steered the conversation
0:12:00 > 0:12:03away from the danger towards the relative safety of soup.
0:12:03 > 0:12:06If anything, I'd sprinkle a bit on top
0:12:06 > 0:12:09rather than involve it as a key ingredient, because... Sorry.
0:12:09 > 0:12:11Yeah, sadly, that conversation will never be finished.
0:12:11 > 0:12:14We have a new guy coming into the Date Zone.
0:12:14 > 0:12:18- This is Michael from London. He likes to play chess.- Chest?
0:12:18 > 0:12:20I love to play chest.
0:12:22 > 0:12:25- Hey, Marisa.- Hello.- I'm Michael. - Nice to meet you, Michael.
0:12:25 > 0:12:28- You all right?- Yeah, I'm OK. How are you?- Not bad, thanks.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32- How has your evening been so far? - Yeah, all right. Really good.
0:12:32 > 0:12:35- Where are you from? - I'm from Bedford.- Bedford?- Yeah.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38- I'm from London actually. - Are you? What part?
0:12:38 > 0:12:41- West London, Ladbroke Grove, have you heard of it?- No.
0:12:41 > 0:12:45- Have you heard of Notting Hill Carnival?- Yeah.- Right there, on that road there.
0:12:45 > 0:12:49- OK. How old are you?- I'm 18. - You're 18?!- Yeah.
0:12:49 > 0:12:51HOOTER
0:12:51 > 0:12:53DOYLE: Woah! Man down!
0:12:53 > 0:12:58- He's really, really, really young.- A spring chicken, huh?- Yeah.
0:12:58 > 0:13:02- All right, come back with me. - She is so nasty tonight, Doyle.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05She gave Michael just 23 seconds there.
0:13:07 > 0:13:12We got a spring chicken problem. You know, you're a bit too young.
0:13:12 > 0:13:14Take a walk, son.
0:13:16 > 0:13:19It's age rage and that is the shortest date we have ever seen,
0:13:19 > 0:13:23earning Michael a paltry 230 points.
0:13:23 > 0:13:26Well, hopefully he's learnt his lesson.
0:13:26 > 0:13:28Honesty is not always the best policy.
0:13:28 > 0:13:32- In fact, it pretty much never is.- Honestly?- No...
0:13:32 > 0:13:36It's busy down there in the Date Zone tonight. Here comes Chris again.
0:13:36 > 0:13:40- Let's hope Chris can do better this time.- Eurgh...
0:13:40 > 0:13:44I'm picking up some signals here.
0:13:44 > 0:13:47- Hi.- Hello.- I'm Chris.
0:13:47 > 0:13:50- Nice to meet you, Chris.- How are you?- I'm good. How are you?
0:13:50 > 0:13:55- I'm good, I'm good.- Yeah?- Yeah, just trying to relax, compose myself.
0:13:55 > 0:13:58- Just being myself, and just enjoy it.- Brilliant.
0:13:58 > 0:14:02- So where are you from? - I'm from Oxfordshire originally.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05- How about yourself?- I'm from Barry, which is in south Wales.
0:14:05 > 0:14:07I love a good Welsh boy, I do.
0:14:07 > 0:14:09Well...
0:14:09 > 0:14:11Don't let me down, don't let me down.
0:14:11 > 0:14:15No, the view, the scenery is absolutely amazing.
0:14:15 > 0:14:18And I go out in Cardiff as well.
0:14:18 > 0:14:21- My brother's got his own club so I just go there.- Oh, really?
0:14:21 > 0:14:25- Oh...- I get all the perks.- Meaning?
0:14:25 > 0:14:29VIP, free drink. It's got a bean bag room.
0:14:29 > 0:14:34Beanbag room?! Ha-ha! Play on, playa!
0:14:37 > 0:14:40Nervous start there. This is new boy, Neil.
0:14:40 > 0:14:44He's from Stirling and he says his best feature is his hair.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Why? What can it do?
0:14:47 > 0:14:51- How are you doing?- I'm good, thank you. How are you?
0:14:51 > 0:14:55- I'm tremendous.- Aww... Are you nervous?- Just a little bit. I can't help it.
0:14:55 > 0:14:58- What do you do? - I'm currently a student.- OK.
0:14:58 > 0:15:01- I do many things. I'm a student. - What do you study?- Politics.
0:15:01 > 0:15:04But don't judge me on that. I'm not a politician.
0:15:04 > 0:15:07- You're not going to be David Cameron.- I'm definitely not.
0:15:07 > 0:15:10- Can I just say, your hair is ridiculously good.- Aw, thank you.
0:15:10 > 0:15:12Fantastic.
0:15:12 > 0:15:14DOYLE: Textbook tactics there, Jay-Shizz.
0:15:14 > 0:15:16He's gone straight in with the strong complement.
0:15:16 > 0:15:19Her hair is not just good, it is RIDICULOUSLY good.
0:15:19 > 0:15:22Let's leave them to get better acquainted whilst we head back
0:15:22 > 0:15:25to catch up on Tom and Robyn.
0:15:25 > 0:15:29- You know Baskin Robbins ice-cream? - Yeah.- I worked there.- Oh, cool.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33- In Cairns, in North Australia. - You must have put a bit of weight on, eating ice-cream every day!
0:15:33 > 0:15:38- Mate, I ate so much, definitely. - Did you just call me "mate"?- Mate?
0:15:38 > 0:15:42- Did you just call me "mate"? - Er, that was kind of like a...slang thing that I do?
0:15:42 > 0:15:47- Ewww...- Um, but...yeah, I kind of, I say it just, kind of...
0:15:47 > 0:15:52- I hate being called "mate".- Really? - Oh, God. It's like, it's just, no.
0:15:52 > 0:15:56- Its like what you call a bloke. Blokes call blokes "mate".- OK.
0:15:56 > 0:16:00- I'll remember that.- First warning. First warning.- First warning, OK.
0:16:00 > 0:16:03Thank you. But...
0:16:03 > 0:16:05This is really good soup, actually,
0:16:05 > 0:16:09considering that, um, I didn't know it would be this good, definitely.
0:16:09 > 0:16:13HOOTER
0:16:13 > 0:16:15- DOYLE: Oh, ouch. That was tough. - It really was.
0:16:15 > 0:16:17He recovered very well from Mategate,
0:16:17 > 0:16:21but then he ended up drowning in his own soupy defence.
0:16:21 > 0:16:24- I worry it's croutons now for Tom. - Ho-ho!
0:16:24 > 0:16:26Embarrassing slip up there, Jay.
0:16:26 > 0:16:31- I think you meant to say "curtains for Tom".- No, I didn't. It's a pun.
0:16:31 > 0:16:36- I was doing a pun. Lineker would lap this stuff up.- What's a Lineker?
0:16:37 > 0:16:40That's a clear attention violation, man.
0:16:40 > 0:16:45You're paying more attention to your soup than the beautiful lady right in front of you.
0:16:45 > 0:16:48Get up, boy!
0:16:48 > 0:16:51- Go ahead, man!- Bye.- Nice to meet you.
0:16:51 > 0:16:54DOYLE: Soup proves to be Tom's downfall,
0:16:54 > 0:16:56- just like it was with Nixon.- What?!
0:16:56 > 0:17:01Anyway, he scored 32,930 points and in a game where everyone else
0:17:01 > 0:17:04is getting ejected in seconds, Tom is doing very well.
0:17:04 > 0:17:08- He's in the lead. He's with Poppy now.- Tom, come on in. Well done.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12You lasted just short of an hour. What went wrong, though?
0:17:12 > 0:17:16I think I was paying far too much attention to the soup.
0:17:16 > 0:17:18This is really good soup, actually.
0:17:18 > 0:17:21Considering that, um, I didn't know it would be this good.
0:17:24 > 0:17:27You clearly liked that soup, Tom. What flavour was it?
0:17:27 > 0:17:30- Liquid gold?- No, it was carrot soup.
0:17:30 > 0:17:34But it might as well have been liquid gold, so unfortunately,
0:17:34 > 0:17:37I need to pay more attention to the girl and not the food.
0:17:39 > 0:17:41Michael, the veggie-baiter is back.
0:17:43 > 0:17:48- Hello, how are you?- Hello. - Marisa, I'm Michael.- Nice to meet you.- You too. How you doing?
0:17:48 > 0:17:51- Good, thanks.- You look very nice. - Thank you.- I like the peach.
0:17:51 > 0:17:53- It's Mar-ee-sa, not Mar-is-a. - Mar-ee-sa.- Yeah.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56I live in Newcastle. And I run a nightclub.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59- I look after one of the venues in London.- Really, which one?
0:17:59 > 0:18:03- Have you heard of a company called I AM VIP? They do the photos.- Yeah.
0:18:03 > 0:18:05- I used to be a director of that when I was 18.- OK.
0:18:05 > 0:18:09I used to own my own business, an IT solutions company. After I had my own business,
0:18:09 > 0:18:10I kind of landed myself in a pretty good job.
0:18:10 > 0:18:14- So it's like work during the week and on the weekend, do my own thing. - Right.
0:18:14 > 0:18:15So it's a pretty busy lifestyle.
0:18:15 > 0:18:19- You sound like you should be on The Apprentice. - A lot of people say that.
0:18:19 > 0:18:22I told my family like, since I was about 14, 15,
0:18:22 > 0:18:25that I was going to make my first million before 25.
0:18:25 > 0:18:28And I'm looking forward to sticking to that, hopefully.
0:18:28 > 0:18:29I really, really like food.
0:18:29 > 0:18:32I'm trying really hard not to be rude now,
0:18:32 > 0:18:34but all I want to do is literally just eat it.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37I love my food. Honestly, you should see what I eat.
0:18:37 > 0:18:41My cousin's a nutritionist so I probably should eat pretty well but like...
0:18:41 > 0:18:44Wow. He is still going on down there.
0:18:44 > 0:18:47Throughout the season, Marisa's been a tricky customer,
0:18:47 > 0:18:49but she's in a particularly feisty mood tonight.
0:18:49 > 0:18:52Two guys have gone. One in just 23 seconds.
0:18:52 > 0:18:54- How is Michael pulling this off right now?- Well, Jar-Jar,
0:18:54 > 0:18:56this guy just might have the dating chops.
0:18:56 > 0:19:00Effectively what he's doing is using the words
0:19:00 > 0:19:03as if they're an anaesthetic. A potent mix of boring business talk
0:19:03 > 0:19:07and mind-numbing narcissism seems to have put her completely off her stride.
0:19:07 > 0:19:09Ha-ha! I like it!
0:19:14 > 0:19:17I've got a couple of friends who are like expecting their first child.
0:19:17 > 0:19:21When I saw him last week, he said, "Are you drinking?" I said, "I've no beers."
0:19:21 > 0:19:23He said, "Fine, crash here, and drink." I said, "Are you sure?"
0:19:23 > 0:19:26He was like, "Yeah, we've got a spare room. Stay there."
0:19:26 > 0:19:31- Stayed up till 3 o'clock in the morning watching TV.- Oh, crazy.
0:19:31 > 0:19:32It was a fun night.
0:19:34 > 0:19:37So how come you always stay at their house?
0:19:38 > 0:19:43Sadly, I still live at home with my mum and dad. I, I... Oh, come on...
0:19:43 > 0:19:45HOOTER
0:19:45 > 0:19:48DOYLE: Oh, no, no, please, don't, no, wait, meh!
0:19:48 > 0:19:50Come talk to me.
0:19:53 > 0:19:58- What's he done now?- He lives at home with his parents.- Right.
0:19:58 > 0:20:00And, quite frankly, he looks like a hobbit.
0:20:00 > 0:20:02That's unacceptable, yeah.
0:20:05 > 0:20:10- Have a seat.- Thank you. - All right, young man.
0:20:10 > 0:20:12Some things you need to keep to yourself on first dates.
0:20:12 > 0:20:16As in like where you live and how you live.
0:20:16 > 0:20:18Bounce your ass out of here, man!
0:20:18 > 0:20:21# Mama, mama, I'm coming home. #
0:20:21 > 0:20:24Too much information violation.
0:20:24 > 0:20:28Well, you have to feel for him there. Lucie is one tough adversary.
0:20:28 > 0:20:31DOYLE: That was like a wounded baby gazelle being stalked by a ravenous cheetah.
0:20:31 > 0:20:35Those are the eyes of a stone-cold dating predator.
0:20:35 > 0:20:38It was only a matter of time before the kill was made.
0:20:38 > 0:20:39Oh, come on...
0:20:42 > 0:20:44I love my dog. Honestly.
0:20:44 > 0:20:47- What kind of dog is it? - Shih Tzu.- Classic.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49- She's a bitch.- She's a shit?
0:20:49 > 0:20:51SHE GIGGLES
0:20:51 > 0:20:53I'm awful. People are like, "You're so cruel to her",
0:20:53 > 0:20:56cos I dress her up and everything. But she's just like my little baby.
0:20:56 > 0:20:59My cat got AIDS.
0:20:59 > 0:21:00People always laugh.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02Why do people laugh when I say that?
0:21:02 > 0:21:04My cat genuinely got AIDS.
0:21:04 > 0:21:05SHE LAUGHS
0:21:05 > 0:21:07- Can't laugh at that! - That's really sad!
0:21:08 > 0:21:11It is sad. That's the same reaction every time.
0:21:11 > 0:21:13People start laughing. I'm like, "Cheers(!)"
0:21:13 > 0:21:15Aw, that's so sad!
0:21:18 > 0:21:22Erm... Doyle, what do you...?
0:21:22 > 0:21:28- I... I... I don't... - I don't...- Cos I...
0:21:28 > 0:21:30- Did...- I've never even...
0:21:30 > 0:21:32Erm... Other Michael has joined.
0:21:32 > 0:21:33Thank you very much.
0:21:35 > 0:21:37Thank you, ma'am.
0:21:37 > 0:21:40- Did you just call her "ma'am"? - Yeah.- That's really nice.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43- It shows that you've got manners. - Yeah.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46I grew up with manners cos I grew up with my mum
0:21:46 > 0:21:48so I learned to love a woman a lot.
0:21:48 > 0:21:50Aww.
0:21:50 > 0:21:51THEY GIGGLE
0:21:51 > 0:21:55Aww, that's more like it. Talk of love from Mum, well done.
0:21:55 > 0:21:56Meanwhile, Tom is back.
0:21:58 > 0:22:00- Hiya.- Hi.- My name's Tom.
0:22:00 > 0:22:03- Nice to meet you.- What's your name? - Lucie.- Nice to meet you.
0:22:03 > 0:22:05- I like your eyelashes.- Thanks.
0:22:05 > 0:22:07Really nice. I'm just putting that out there.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09- Cheers.- No problem.
0:22:12 > 0:22:15See, I love puddings, but sweets... Actual sweets like Haribo.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17Such a child. I love jellies. I'd have jellies over chocolate.
0:22:17 > 0:22:19I'd have a bar of chocolate and feel sick,
0:22:19 > 0:22:21but I can eat jellies all day.
0:22:23 > 0:22:24'We have a Heartstopper.'
0:22:24 > 0:22:25Shit.
0:22:25 > 0:22:28He's about to face a mental or physical test.
0:22:28 > 0:22:31I'm being told it's Show Me The Funny.
0:22:31 > 0:22:33As a warning to you at home,
0:22:33 > 0:22:35the following scenes may be hard to watch,
0:22:35 > 0:22:37but please don't have nightmares.
0:22:37 > 0:22:41You've got to make the beautiful Marisa laugh three times in 30 seconds.
0:22:41 > 0:22:46Your time starts now. Three, two, one, go.
0:22:46 > 0:22:49What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "Damn".
0:22:49 > 0:22:52- Oh!- Ugh.- Ooh, what is that? - Oh, dear.
0:22:56 > 0:22:58I could try and speak French.
0:22:58 > 0:23:00- Come on!- No, no.
0:23:00 > 0:23:02- You see, my reply was... - HE SPEAKS FRENCH
0:23:02 > 0:23:03No?
0:23:03 > 0:23:05Je nais se pa.
0:23:05 > 0:23:06LAUGHS NERVOUSLY
0:23:08 > 0:23:10EXPLOSION
0:23:10 > 0:23:11EXPLOSION
0:23:11 > 0:23:12EXPLOSION
0:23:12 > 0:23:14EXPLOSION
0:23:14 > 0:23:15TYRES SCREECHING
0:23:15 > 0:23:19Would you look at this?! This is a total blowout. All pods are red.
0:23:19 > 0:23:20This is unprecedented stuff.
0:23:20 > 0:23:23Not only that, Jay-Pissed, it's the never-happened-before.
0:23:23 > 0:23:25- It's Date-ageddon!- It's James!
0:23:25 > 0:23:28Let's get the low-down on this meltdown.
0:23:28 > 0:23:32Tom went back to the 1950s asking Lucie to darn his socks.
0:23:32 > 0:23:35- Do you have any hobbies?- I'm a mean machine when it comes to sewing.
0:23:35 > 0:23:41- I've got lots of stuff that needs stitching at the moment.- Whoa!
0:23:41 > 0:23:44You can't have her sewing up your stuff! Now get the hell out of here!
0:23:44 > 0:23:45DOYLE: Stitch that, Tomahawk!
0:23:45 > 0:23:48Bambi got bored with Neil.
0:23:48 > 0:23:50I feel really bad, but I'm so sorry.
0:23:50 > 0:23:51EXPLOSION
0:23:51 > 0:23:54DOYLE: He peaked too early with the feline AIDS chit chat.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58Michael fell victim to another blast of age rage.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00- How old are you?- 21.- Baby.
0:24:00 > 0:24:01I'm a baby.
0:24:01 > 0:24:02EXPLOSION
0:24:02 > 0:24:06DOYLE: With time almost up the Date Zone is refuelled like this.
0:24:06 > 0:24:09We've got veggie-baiter Michael with Robyn.
0:24:09 > 0:24:11- Hi. Oh!- Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
0:24:11 > 0:24:13- Tom gets a bit of Bambi time. - Bambi.
0:24:13 > 0:24:14Bambi, nice to meet you.
0:24:14 > 0:24:17And cat man Neil gets big cat Lucie.
0:24:17 > 0:24:19- Neil. How are you doing? - All right, Neil?
0:24:19 > 0:24:21DOYLE: And then there's the scent of
0:24:21 > 0:24:23fresh blood in the shape of Stewart,
0:24:23 > 0:24:24the Scottish banker!
0:24:24 > 0:24:27- Hiya.- Hi!- How are you doing? My name's Stewart.
0:24:27 > 0:24:30- Nice to meet you.- Marisa. Nice to meet you.- Good.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33- Can I just check your shoes?- Yes.
0:24:35 > 0:24:39- OK, cool.- Is that OK? - Yeah, just checking.
0:24:39 > 0:24:40Excellent. Thank you.
0:24:40 > 0:24:43- It's all right.- How are you feeling today?- All right, thanks.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45- How are you?- Not bad, thank you.
0:24:45 > 0:24:48- So how old are you?- 23.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51- How about you?- 23.- Oh! When's your birthday?- 27th of September.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53GASPS: Do not lie.
0:24:53 > 0:24:57- That's my ex-boyfriend's. - Really?
0:24:57 > 0:24:58Right. OK.
0:24:58 > 0:25:01- How's your food?- It's good, thank you. Is yours?- Yeah.
0:25:01 > 0:25:04- Mine's good too.- I even ate the raisins. I'm being picky.
0:25:04 > 0:25:07- Me too.- BOTH:- Weird!
0:25:07 > 0:25:09SHE LAUGHS
0:25:10 > 0:25:12- That is so mad!- That is crazy.
0:25:12 > 0:25:14If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
0:25:14 > 0:25:18Tom playing the food distraction card very well there
0:25:18 > 0:25:20- with the tasty fruit tart.- That's a little harsh on Bambi, JK Rowling.
0:25:20 > 0:25:24Or James. And that's not what I meant and you know it.
0:25:26 > 0:25:30I started my own business when I was 18 and did an IT solutions company for two years.
0:25:30 > 0:25:32After that... I'm a consultant for Apple now
0:25:32 > 0:25:34and I also manage a nightclub in Newcastle.
0:25:34 > 0:25:37I do club nights, mainly on a Saturday.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39- Do you drive?- I don't. Erm...
0:25:39 > 0:25:43- Ooh! She's got him! - She nailed him!
0:25:43 > 0:25:47The motormouth floored there by the motoring mention.
0:25:47 > 0:25:50High five on that one, Jay-Claw!
0:25:50 > 0:25:51- I missed it.- You did.- Can we try again?
0:25:54 > 0:25:57- Do you like tattoos?- Depends.
0:25:57 > 0:25:58Do you like Mel C?
0:25:58 > 0:25:59SHE COUGHS
0:25:59 > 0:26:02I'm rocking one of those tattoos.
0:26:02 > 0:26:06- Let's get the full view.- It's just a tiny little... Just there.
0:26:06 > 0:26:11- There's a really good story about it, actually.- It would have to be.
0:26:11 > 0:26:12HOOTER
0:26:12 > 0:26:14And that sound means only one thing.
0:26:14 > 0:26:16We have reached the end of dating.
0:26:16 > 0:26:17BENTLEY: Cease dating.
0:26:17 > 0:26:20Not knowing the tale of how Neil came to have a tattoo
0:26:20 > 0:26:23- like a Spice Girl will haunt me to my grave.- Will it?
0:26:23 > 0:26:28Heck no! I thought you Brits did "ironism" around here!
0:26:28 > 0:26:30Let's find out who won and get to a bar.
0:26:33 > 0:26:35All right, gentlemen.
0:26:36 > 0:26:38We've come to the end of this dating period.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40There can only be one winner.
0:26:41 > 0:26:43And the winner is...
0:26:53 > 0:26:54Tom.
0:26:56 > 0:26:57APPLAUSE AND CHEERING
0:27:05 > 0:27:06Weird!
0:27:06 > 0:27:07SHE LAUGHS
0:27:09 > 0:27:11Tom's food deflection tactic
0:27:11 > 0:27:16brought him out on top tonight with 64,240 points.
0:27:16 > 0:27:18That is, in anyone's book, superb.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20- Nice!- Thank you.
0:27:20 > 0:27:24Doyle, your final thoughts on a strange evening out there tonight.
0:27:26 > 0:27:30Men of Britain, learn from what you've seen here tonight.
0:27:30 > 0:27:31Do not think French is funny.
0:27:31 > 0:27:37Do not raise the tricky subject of feline AIDS at the dinner table.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40And never open a date with a cosmetic surgery line.
0:27:40 > 0:27:45Use the truth sparingly, and only if you absolutely have to.
0:27:45 > 0:27:50And remember, if all else fails, distract her with soup play.
0:27:50 > 0:27:54Good night, and date strong, Britain. OK, Jay-Man, let's get out of here.
0:27:54 > 0:27:56I know a bar called The Throbbing Fist.
0:27:56 > 0:27:59Apparently they got a beanbag room. It's going to be a party!
0:28:01 > 0:28:02SPRAYS INHALANT
0:28:22 > 0:28:25Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd