Episode 4

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0:00:22 > 0:00:25Hello and welcome to another round of love combat

0:00:25 > 0:00:27from The World Series Of Dating.

0:00:27 > 0:00:29My name is James Chetwyn-Talbot

0:00:29 > 0:00:33and joining me as ever from the USA is five-times WSOD champion

0:00:33 > 0:00:35Doyle McManus.

0:00:35 > 0:00:38And, Doyle, it appears you've brought a friend with you tonight.

0:00:38 > 0:00:40- Sure have J-man.- James.

0:00:40 > 0:00:42Allow me to introduce PC Welton.

0:00:42 > 0:00:46For one reason or another we've become inseparable these last few hours.

0:00:46 > 0:00:47What happened?

0:00:47 > 0:00:50Let's talk about it later, OK?

0:00:50 > 0:00:51We've got dating to do.

0:00:51 > 0:00:54The World Series Of Dating sees seduction,

0:00:54 > 0:00:57sport and supper smashed into each other.

0:00:57 > 0:00:58Kaboom!

0:00:58 > 0:01:00In each heat four guys enter the date zone.

0:01:00 > 0:01:02Their mission is to date the lady for as long as they can,

0:01:02 > 0:01:05each second at the table earning him ten points.

0:01:05 > 0:01:07If you want to have sex with me that's fine.

0:01:07 > 0:01:08You're such an arsehole.

0:01:08 > 0:01:11These guys need to be at the top of their dating game cos

0:01:11 > 0:01:14if these girls are left cold, they will hit the blow-out button.

0:01:15 > 0:01:17Too cheesy.

0:01:17 > 0:01:20Legendary WSOD referee Bentley will make a judgement call on the date.

0:01:20 > 0:01:24For minor dating errors the guy may get another chance,

0:01:24 > 0:01:26but if a dating violation has occurred...

0:01:26 > 0:01:28Get the hell out of here, man!

0:01:28 > 0:01:30- The guy is off the table. - Go ahead, man!

0:01:30 > 0:01:33The winner is the guy who lasted the longest.

0:01:33 > 0:01:37The battle to become the UK's greatest living dater has begun, yeah!

0:01:39 > 0:01:44And here are the four lady temptresses who will be out there in the date zone tonight.

0:01:44 > 0:01:45It's tiny temptress, Becca.

0:01:47 > 0:01:51Small but perfectly formed, 5 feet 1 inches of hot!

0:01:51 > 0:01:52She's from Bristol

0:01:52 > 0:01:55and we all know what bristols is a euphemism for, don't we?

0:01:55 > 0:01:56No, vagina?!

0:01:56 > 0:01:57Oh, goodness gracious.

0:01:58 > 0:02:01Next up, it's Ava from Iran, a Middle Eastern enchantress.

0:02:01 > 0:02:04Mysterious and complex, much like her mother country.

0:02:04 > 0:02:06Red hot!

0:02:06 > 0:02:09Here's Norwich-based maths boffin, Laura.

0:02:09 > 0:02:11Oh, I love a math minx.

0:02:11 > 0:02:13It's actually maths, Doyle, not math.

0:02:13 > 0:02:15Only an idiot would think that.

0:02:15 > 0:02:17You've just insulted an entire nation.

0:02:17 > 0:02:19Only a small one.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21Who's this fox?

0:02:21 > 0:02:2323-year-old Louiza, glamorous.

0:02:23 > 0:02:26Look out the British are coming! God knows I am!

0:02:26 > 0:02:28I can only apologise. Those are our ladies tonight.

0:02:28 > 0:02:30Let's go down to the date zone

0:02:30 > 0:02:32to meet our first four brave men.

0:02:32 > 0:02:34CHEERING

0:02:34 > 0:02:35First out tonight is Declan.

0:02:35 > 0:02:37Good, strong thinking pose.

0:02:37 > 0:02:40Well, he is a student but claims to suffer from shyness.

0:02:40 > 0:02:43This walk doesn't suggest shyness to me J-bam.

0:02:43 > 0:02:46I got a good feeling about Declan.

0:02:46 > 0:02:48And this is Jordan.

0:02:48 > 0:02:50He's buff, it's underarm monsoon season out there.

0:02:50 > 0:02:52If I was out there I'd be sweating.

0:02:52 > 0:02:56If you were out there something's gone badly wrong with this show.

0:02:56 > 0:02:59Well, I'm not, but this guy is, it's Jack.

0:02:59 > 0:03:03Boom! He's firing one out already and he's not even met a girl.

0:03:03 > 0:03:06Car salesman Jack's favourite book is The BFG.

0:03:06 > 0:03:09Big Foxy Girls is one of my favourites too.

0:03:09 > 0:03:11No that...ah, doesn't matter.

0:03:11 > 0:03:13Last into the arena, it's Ste.

0:03:13 > 0:03:16- BRUCE FORSYTH-STYLE: - Nice to see you, to see you, nice!

0:03:16 > 0:03:18You're freaking me out again.

0:03:18 > 0:03:19It's a famous British catchphrase.

0:03:19 > 0:03:22Whatever. Hey, I like this guy, he's got swagger.

0:03:22 > 0:03:26Those are our first four boys and here's the man with the golden guns.

0:03:26 > 0:03:29The sheriff of chivalry, the judge of getting jiggy.

0:03:29 > 0:03:31It's referee, Bentley.

0:03:35 > 0:03:37Greetings, heterosexual males.

0:03:38 > 0:03:41I see before me a fine example of manhood.

0:03:41 > 0:03:46Now, you guys are about to embark on a lot of serious seduction.

0:03:46 > 0:03:48I wish you well.

0:03:48 > 0:03:51Date hard, but date fair.

0:03:51 > 0:03:53All right, gentlemen, commence dating.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00- How you doing?- Hi, you all right? - I'm Jack.

0:04:00 > 0:04:02- Hi, I'm Louiza. - Louiza, nice to meet you.

0:04:02 > 0:04:05- What we having anyway, have we got a menu?- There's one there.

0:04:05 > 0:04:07Have you got something in your eye?

0:04:07 > 0:04:10- Oh, no, it's just a sparkle. - Oh...OK.

0:04:10 > 0:04:13Thanks for handing me the menu, by the way.

0:04:13 > 0:04:15Sorry about that, right, erm...

0:04:15 > 0:04:16COMMENTATORS: Ohhh.

0:04:16 > 0:04:19Shaky start for Jack. Let's watch that ice breaker again.

0:04:19 > 0:04:22- SLOWED SPEECH: - You got something in your eye?

0:04:22 > 0:04:25Oh, it's just a sparkle.

0:04:26 > 0:04:29Oh, OK.

0:04:32 > 0:04:33Are you a football fan?

0:04:33 > 0:04:35I am indeed.

0:04:35 > 0:04:38- Who?- Manchester United.

0:04:38 > 0:04:42Who do you support? Do you follow football or...? Norwich?

0:04:42 > 0:04:46- They were quite a surprise, that Paul Lambert's doing all right, as well, isn't he?- He's brilliant!

0:04:46 > 0:04:49- You like him?- Yeah.- He's from Scotland, isn't he?- Yeah.

0:04:49 > 0:04:51I thought he were.

0:04:51 > 0:04:53So, what we having?

0:04:56 > 0:04:58So what do you do for a living?

0:04:58 > 0:05:01I do some modelling. What about you?

0:05:01 > 0:05:04Public services. I want to be a fireman, ideally.

0:05:04 > 0:05:05- Oh, really?!- Yep.

0:05:05 > 0:05:09So would you not worry about jumping into a fire?

0:05:09 > 0:05:11If it's somebody like a child or something like that...

0:05:11 > 0:05:14- Yeah?- ..the child comes first.

0:05:14 > 0:05:17- Yeah.- The child's got a whole life ahead of itself.

0:05:17 > 0:05:19Yeah. Oh, that's really sweet.

0:05:22 > 0:05:24Ava, lovely name.

0:05:24 > 0:05:26Is that Scottish, where's that from?

0:05:26 > 0:05:28- Iran.- Iran?!- I'm from Iran, yes.

0:05:28 > 0:05:31Excellent. I'm from, I'm half Greek, actually.

0:05:31 > 0:05:33Are you? And the other half?

0:05:33 > 0:05:34My mum's Scottish, my dad's Greek.

0:05:34 > 0:05:39- OK.- So I came here when I was about two years old.

0:05:39 > 0:05:41I've been here for five years and a half.

0:05:41 > 0:05:44- Five years?- Yeah, since I was 18 so I'm 23 now. How old are you?

0:05:44 > 0:05:46I'm 19.

0:05:46 > 0:05:47HE LAUGHS

0:05:47 > 0:05:48A bit young?

0:05:48 > 0:05:51Erm, yeah...just a little bit.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53- It's not about age, but.- 19?!

0:05:53 > 0:05:54HE LAUGHS

0:05:54 > 0:05:57Well, Ava's not keen on younger men by the looks of it.

0:05:57 > 0:06:00Half Greek, half Scottish, what is that, Grottish?!

0:06:00 > 0:06:03It's a mystery to me. Talking of mysteries,

0:06:03 > 0:06:05we haven't really got to the bottom of you being handcuffed to

0:06:05 > 0:06:08a member of the constabulary, Doyle, what's going on?

0:06:08 > 0:06:12Well, as I was in Britain I thought I'd go down to the Tower of London.

0:06:12 > 0:06:15I saw something that looked like candy so I swallowed it.

0:06:15 > 0:06:17Turns out it was one of the crown jewels.

0:06:17 > 0:06:19Now we're just waiting for it to pass.

0:06:19 > 0:06:22- Right. Quite literally the million pound drop.- Huh?

0:06:24 > 0:06:28What are you going to have for dessert anyway, the choice?

0:06:28 > 0:06:29SHE LAUGHS

0:06:29 > 0:06:32- Is it all sorted? - Yeah, probably the old tart there.

0:06:32 > 0:06:35Yeah, nice one. Everyone likes a nice tart, apparently.

0:06:38 > 0:06:41Yeah, I mean, have you got plans for children yet?

0:06:41 > 0:06:43- No, no, no, no. - That's not an invite!

0:06:43 > 0:06:46I'm not saying, "What you doing afterwards?"

0:06:46 > 0:06:48- SHE LAUGHS - No, just asking.- OK, good.

0:06:48 > 0:06:51Seems like a strange start from Jack, to me.

0:06:51 > 0:06:54No, no it's he old confuseroony.

0:06:54 > 0:06:58He's hitting her with so many things at once, she doesn't know which way's up. Textbook play.

0:06:58 > 0:07:01So you don't make much time for a girl,

0:07:01 > 0:07:03going out at the weekends a lot to watch football?

0:07:03 > 0:07:05- Not usually. - Not many like football, so...

0:07:05 > 0:07:07Yeah, I know that's why you've got to be careful.

0:07:07 > 0:07:09If they don't like football,

0:07:09 > 0:07:13usually go out and... Thank you very much.

0:07:13 > 0:07:16..go for something to eat, go to Nando's, something like that.

0:07:16 > 0:07:18- Oh, I love Nando's... - It's awesome, innit?

0:07:21 > 0:07:22I love long hair on girls.

0:07:22 > 0:07:24SHE LAUGHS

0:07:24 > 0:07:29Definitely. Your teeth... I sound a bit forward here but I like to compliment before I do anything.

0:07:39 > 0:07:43KLAXON SOUNDS

0:07:45 > 0:07:50There you go. And again, my apologies to the Queen.

0:07:50 > 0:07:51What?

0:07:51 > 0:07:55There it is, Doyle, our first blow-out button of the evening,

0:07:55 > 0:07:57and Jordan could be on his way.

0:07:57 > 0:08:02It didn't look good from the start. She didn't like his age. Then again, those compliments were pretty crappy.

0:08:02 > 0:08:05To me this isn't a clear violation one way or the other.

0:08:05 > 0:08:07Well, let's see how referee Bentley calls it.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09All right, young man,

0:08:09 > 0:08:13a woman like that needs a man that's more mature, know what I'm saying?

0:08:13 > 0:08:16- Yeah. - Get your ass out of here, man!

0:08:16 > 0:08:17Go now, boy, get!

0:08:17 > 0:08:21# I would do anything for love... #

0:08:21 > 0:08:23A classic age rage and Jordan's walking.

0:08:23 > 0:08:25Our touchline reporter Poppy Weathers

0:08:25 > 0:08:28and her lovely hair is waiting for him.

0:08:29 > 0:08:32I think you should be very confident, look at you.

0:08:32 > 0:08:34I mean, come on, look at those muscles.

0:08:34 > 0:08:37Look at those, look at those, just look!

0:08:37 > 0:08:39Look...

0:08:39 > 0:08:42Wow... 100% British beef.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Back to the date zone...

0:08:50 > 0:08:53I like going to the gym, what about you, do anything like that?

0:08:53 > 0:08:58Yeah, I go to the gym sometimes, yeah.

0:08:58 > 0:09:01You got a wonderful smile.

0:09:03 > 0:09:05KLAXON SOUNDS

0:09:05 > 0:09:09Becca there is just too hot for that would-be fireman Declan.

0:09:09 > 0:09:11She does have a lovely smile though.

0:09:11 > 0:09:15Pah, so do I, but I don't need to hear about it every two minutes. It's annoying.

0:09:15 > 0:09:18Declan, oh, young Declan.

0:09:18 > 0:09:20I just need you to get your head in the game.

0:09:20 > 0:09:22Go back to the drawing board, all right?

0:09:22 > 0:09:24And come back and just up your game.

0:09:24 > 0:09:26- All right?- Right.- I just need you to take that walk for me.

0:09:28 > 0:09:31# And it burns, burns, burns

0:09:31 > 0:09:34# The ring of fire

0:09:34 > 0:09:37# The ring of fire... #

0:09:39 > 0:09:41What's your favourite movie?

0:09:41 > 0:09:43Favourite movie...

0:09:43 > 0:09:46- Probably the Bourne trilogy.- Yeah?

0:09:46 > 0:09:49It's a good one, that is. Not a bad trilogy.

0:09:49 > 0:09:51You know at the end? When he's holding the gun at him

0:09:51 > 0:09:55and he fires the gun and you don't know if he's been hit or not?

0:09:55 > 0:09:57- I started crying.- Really?

0:09:57 > 0:10:00I'm not one of those girly girls that will cry at The Notebook.

0:10:00 > 0:10:03I cried at that. I was like, "Oh my God! Jason Bourne!"

0:10:03 > 0:10:08- My favourite film's Finding Nemo. - Is it?

0:10:08 > 0:10:11It's something you can sit down and watch and have a good laugh about.

0:10:11 > 0:10:13Have you ever cried at a film, Doyle?

0:10:13 > 0:10:18Oh yeah! I remember the first hundred times I saw Buttmasters 5.

0:10:18 > 0:10:20It always brought tears to my eyes.

0:10:20 > 0:10:22Although technically, it wasn't tears.

0:10:24 > 0:10:30Do you usually go out, just around town,

0:10:30 > 0:10:33or would you ever stop in and watch films and stuff like that?

0:10:33 > 0:10:37- I prefer to go out, have a dance. - It's awesome, I love it.

0:10:37 > 0:10:38What sort of music do you like?

0:10:38 > 0:10:4180s.

0:10:41 > 0:10:42Oh, Jesus!

0:10:42 > 0:10:45Ah, come on!

0:10:45 > 0:10:48- SLOWED DOWN REPLAY:- What sort of music do you like?

0:10:48 > 0:10:5080s.

0:10:50 > 0:10:52Oh, Jesus.

0:10:54 > 0:10:56You know the dance called the two-step? It's an 80s dance.

0:10:56 > 0:10:59- I do indeed.- You do indeed? Good stuff.

0:10:59 > 0:11:02All right, I need you to two-step your ass up that ramp.

0:11:02 > 0:11:04Roger that.

0:11:04 > 0:11:06# Don't you want me, baby... #

0:11:08 > 0:11:12Well, I don't agree with it, but it's a Bum Note Violation.

0:11:13 > 0:11:16Music is a dating death trap and if asked what I like,

0:11:16 > 0:11:19I like to answer Lady In Red by Christopher de Burgh,

0:11:19 > 0:11:22that little gargoyle's voice makes thongs drop like hot...

0:11:22 > 0:11:25thongs, guaranteed.

0:11:28 > 0:11:32- Hiya.- Hi.- Becca?- Yeah. - How you doing?- Good, thanks. You?

0:11:32 > 0:11:35- I'm not bad. Are you Scottish?- No. - You're not Scottish.

0:11:35 > 0:11:39- No, I'm not Scottish. I'm from Bristol.- Bristol?- Yeah.

0:11:39 > 0:11:43- Definitely see you with the whole tractor thing.- Oh, God, yeah.

0:11:43 > 0:11:47- Well, I'm Scottish, so it's the haggis thing.- Yeah.- Kilts and stuff.

0:11:47 > 0:11:50I wouldn't ever do any of that stuff.

0:11:50 > 0:11:52Nice to see Jordan back in the Date Zone,

0:11:52 > 0:11:54but I don't know what that was about.

0:11:54 > 0:11:56- Well, those were stereotypes.- Ah.

0:11:56 > 0:11:58Nothing impresses a woman like regional racism(!)

0:11:58 > 0:12:01Ah, now, here's a new boy.

0:12:01 > 0:12:03This is Karl, a cadet in the Navy

0:12:03 > 0:12:05and it looks like he's on his way to Ava.

0:12:05 > 0:12:06Will he sink or swim?

0:12:06 > 0:12:08- How old is he?- 19.- Man the lifeboats.

0:12:08 > 0:12:11- Hi, nice to meet you, I'm Karl. - Nice to meet you too, Karl.

0:12:11 > 0:12:13You're the one I wanted to be with.

0:12:13 > 0:12:14I've seen the rest of them,

0:12:14 > 0:12:18- but I made sure I had a good look when I was up there.- Guy stuff.

0:12:18 > 0:12:21- Yeah, so, do you come here often? - Erm.- I'm only joking.

0:12:21 > 0:12:25- What's your name, by the way, sorry?- Ava.

0:12:25 > 0:12:30- That's not a normal name, is it? - Hmm, kind of.- Yeah?

0:12:30 > 0:12:34- European?- No, I'm from Iran. - Iran?- Yeah. How about you?

0:12:34 > 0:12:37I'm from England originally, but live in Scotland.

0:12:37 > 0:12:39- How old are you?- I'm 19.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43- Oh.- Oh!

0:12:43 > 0:12:45So quick! We know she doesn't like them young, Doyle.

0:12:45 > 0:12:47That's a nailed on Age Rage Violation.

0:12:47 > 0:12:51Yes, her second of the night. Let's go back down for the verdict.

0:12:51 > 0:12:54All right, young man, a woman like Ava,

0:12:54 > 0:12:58she needs a man who is probably a little bit more mature.

0:12:58 > 0:13:00- Get out of town, man.- Thanks.

0:13:00 > 0:13:06Just 36 seconds in the Date Zone, 360 points on the board.

0:13:06 > 0:13:09# Sail away, sail away, sail away. #

0:13:13 > 0:13:15I've been to Disneyland Paris, that's good,

0:13:15 > 0:13:18- but I'd say Florida's the one... - Have you been to Florida?- No.- No.

0:13:18 > 0:13:22I've been to New York, Toronto and Vegas, did that all in a trip.

0:13:22 > 0:13:23- Oh, OK.- So, that was really nice.

0:13:23 > 0:13:27We went up to Toronto and that was good, just, sort of, couple of days.

0:13:27 > 0:13:28- Yeah.- And then, erm...

0:13:34 > 0:13:38- Clear Chomping Violation here, Jamezilla.- James. It was silly.

0:13:38 > 0:13:41- No lady I've ever met likes a man with a mouthful.- Oh, Jimmy, you dog.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43No, no, I wasn't... I didn't mean anything by that.

0:13:43 > 0:13:45I can't believe you said that.

0:13:45 > 0:13:48A Chomping Violation, that's rule one in The Dater's Almanac.

0:13:48 > 0:13:50Oh, actually, no.

0:13:50 > 0:13:53Rule one in The Dater's Almanac is "Approach a woman like a lion

0:13:53 > 0:13:57"to a wounded gazelle, show your teeth and pounce."

0:13:57 > 0:13:59Let's go back to the Date Zone for the decision.

0:13:59 > 0:14:02You can't be talking to a lady with your mouth full, man.

0:14:02 > 0:14:05- I want you to tap dance your ass out of here.- Nice to meet you.

0:14:07 > 0:14:10- Oh, Jack off.- Nice one. - What do you mean? Jack's off.

0:14:10 > 0:14:11HE SNIGGERS

0:14:11 > 0:14:13Oh, grow up.

0:14:16 > 0:14:21- How tall are you?- 5'1".- 5'1"? - Yeah.- Can you stand up and see?

0:14:21 > 0:14:26- How tall are you?- 6'1".- You're 6'1". Stand up.- Right, let's see.

0:14:27 > 0:14:30- I've got heels on.- I suppose if I was like this size.- Yeah.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33- It's good though.- Not too bad.- Yeah, it's good. I don't like short...

0:14:33 > 0:14:36- Did you say five foot one? - 5"1', yeah.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38Is that not, like, two inches off a midget?

0:14:40 > 0:14:42That was pretty mean.

0:14:42 > 0:14:44Just a fact.

0:14:44 > 0:14:46Two inches off a midget is, coincidentally,

0:14:46 > 0:14:49the name of an album I recorded back in 1995.

0:14:51 > 0:14:54All right, buddy, you're out of here.

0:14:54 > 0:14:55# Whatcha gonna do when they come for you?

0:14:55 > 0:14:57# Bad boys, bad boys

0:14:57 > 0:14:59# Whatcha going to do? Whatcha going to do? #

0:14:59 > 0:15:01Well, there goes Jordan again, but here comes

0:15:01 > 0:15:04a new dating gladiator to face Ava.

0:15:04 > 0:15:06His name is Cardelle and the good news for us

0:15:06 > 0:15:08is that he's 28.

0:15:08 > 0:15:09The bad news is

0:15:09 > 0:15:11that his name is Cardelle.

0:15:11 > 0:15:14- Hi.- Hello, I'm Cardelle. - Nice to meet you.- Nice to meet you.

0:15:14 > 0:15:17- What was your name again? Ricardo? - No, Cardelle.- Cardelle.

0:15:17 > 0:15:20- Nice to meet you, Cardelle. - Nice to meet you.

0:15:20 > 0:15:23- Right, sell yourself to me. - Pardon?- Sell yourself to me.

0:15:23 > 0:15:26Oh, I think you have to sell yourself to me.

0:15:31 > 0:15:33It seems to me, Ava's proving a worthy adversary

0:15:33 > 0:15:35for all of tonight's boys.

0:15:35 > 0:15:37Speaking of which, one of her rejects in back in the Zone.

0:15:37 > 0:15:40Can Karl do better this time?

0:15:40 > 0:15:43- So, how old are you?- I'm 23. Don't buzz me out again, please.

0:15:43 > 0:15:47- Oh, who buzzed you out for that? - Ava.- She's 23, though.

0:15:47 > 0:15:51- Yeah, I asked her, she says she needs a 28-year-old.- Great defence.

0:15:51 > 0:15:54That's what we call adaptability on the pro dating circuit.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56- SLOW MOTION:- I'm 19.

0:15:56 > 0:15:58I'm 23.

0:15:58 > 0:16:01Ste's re-entered the Date Zone and sat down with Becca.

0:16:01 > 0:16:03Let's see how he's doing.

0:16:03 > 0:16:06- So, what kind of girls do you go for?- Tanned.

0:16:07 > 0:16:11- Tanned, dark-haired girls.- Are you saying that just because that's me?

0:16:11 > 0:16:13And short.

0:16:13 > 0:16:17- OK.- Right. - What about personality-wise?

0:16:17 > 0:16:21- Same as me, like, chilled out, likes to go out, have a drink.- Yeah.

0:16:21 > 0:16:23Doesn't mind, like, making a fool of yourself.

0:16:23 > 0:16:26Last weekend, I had two bruises on both my knees, I'm thinking...

0:16:26 > 0:16:29Why? What were you doing?

0:16:29 > 0:16:31- That sounds so dodgy, by the way. - I was dancing.

0:16:31 > 0:16:35I know it does, but, no, Karl said I fell over when I was dancing.

0:16:35 > 0:16:37I couldn't believe it.

0:16:39 > 0:16:41Enough cheese for you there?

0:16:41 > 0:16:46- Do you do sports?- Me?- Do you play sport?- Yeah, I play rugby.- Ah, OK.

0:16:46 > 0:16:50- But I'm doing marine engineering at the moment.- OK.

0:16:50 > 0:16:53So, when I'm on the ship, like, there's not really much space

0:16:53 > 0:16:56to do rugby, so I've become, like, pretty awesome at table tennis.

0:16:56 > 0:16:58- Have you?- Yeah, I'm like Forrest Gump and shit.

0:16:58 > 0:17:01Oh, my gosh, I just said that to this other guy.

0:17:03 > 0:17:06How long was your previous relationship with a girl?

0:17:06 > 0:17:08Two months.

0:17:08 > 0:17:10It wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault.

0:17:10 > 0:17:13- Clearly was your fault.- I swear. I didn't break it off.- Yeah, yeah.

0:17:13 > 0:17:14I didn't break it off.

0:17:14 > 0:17:18- Where did she come from? - Erm. Coventry.

0:17:18 > 0:17:22- Oh, I've been to Coventry as well. - Wow, you've been everywhere.

0:17:22 > 0:17:26- I love travelling, actually, it's one of my hobbies.- OK, cool.

0:17:26 > 0:17:29- Yeah, impressive.- Oh.

0:17:29 > 0:17:31- So, I impressed you?- Of course. - But you haven't impressed me yet.

0:17:31 > 0:17:33- Really?- Yeah.

0:17:35 > 0:17:37HE MOUTHS

0:17:37 > 0:17:41- Oh, this woman is in heat tonight. - How you doing, man?

0:17:41 > 0:17:45- All right.- I like you, so this is going to be tough.

0:17:46 > 0:17:48Get your ass out of here, man.

0:17:48 > 0:17:52So, Ava's third victim of the night leaves with a Yawn Star Violation,

0:17:52 > 0:17:56but he has clocked up 12,400 points on that board.

0:17:56 > 0:17:58That's more than anyone else has managed

0:17:58 > 0:18:00with the Sexy Beast from the East tonight.

0:18:00 > 0:18:02- I don't think that's very appropriate.- Sorry.

0:18:02 > 0:18:04Sexy Beast from the Middle East.

0:18:04 > 0:18:06That's made things a lot worse.

0:18:10 > 0:18:13So, where's your dessert?

0:18:13 > 0:18:16I don't know, taking a while.

0:18:16 > 0:18:19Pretend to look skinny, breathe in and they'll think you're hungry.

0:18:19 > 0:18:21Do you think I'm fat?

0:18:21 > 0:18:24- What did I say? - "Pretend to look skinny!"

0:18:24 > 0:18:26No, I said both of us, pretend to look skinny.

0:18:26 > 0:18:28I really want to do it, sorry.

0:18:31 > 0:18:36Becca, sweetheart, will you come over here and talk to me for a sec?

0:18:37 > 0:18:38What's the problem?

0:18:38 > 0:18:41OK, basically, he was, like, "Oh, just pretend to look skinny."

0:18:41 > 0:18:45- Right, OK.- I was like, "What does that mean?"

0:18:53 > 0:18:54Two things.

0:18:54 > 0:18:56Age and weight.

0:18:56 > 0:18:58Two things that don't sit well with ladies.

0:18:58 > 0:19:01I need you to get your ass up.

0:19:01 > 0:19:04He was walking before Bentley had even finished there.

0:19:04 > 0:19:07He knew he'd committed date-icide on that one.

0:19:07 > 0:19:10Let's go over to lovely Poppy now for some post-date analysis.

0:19:10 > 0:19:13What the hell happened?

0:19:13 > 0:19:16- Well, I thought it were going really well, weren't it?- Yeah.

0:19:16 > 0:19:20- But I asked a silly question, really, and...- Very silly question.

0:19:20 > 0:19:22- SLOW MOTION:- Do you think I'm fat?

0:19:22 > 0:19:24- No.- Sorry.

0:19:24 > 0:19:28- That's it, innit?- Yeah.- But I had, I had to just...- It was a bad call.

0:19:28 > 0:19:32Other than waggling little Ste in front of her face,

0:19:32 > 0:19:34you couldn't have done any worse.

0:19:34 > 0:19:37Oh, Jordan's back in the game with Laura.

0:19:37 > 0:19:42- As a wee kid, I was, like, "Girls, urgh. I'm scared of girls."- Yeah.

0:19:42 > 0:19:45And then... Would you say I'm like that now?

0:19:45 > 0:19:48No, I think that you need, you're a little bit,

0:19:48 > 0:19:50you need to have that confidence, though.

0:19:50 > 0:19:52You need to have that wow factor, you need to woo me.

0:19:52 > 0:19:56You're not, you're just, you're lovely, don't get me wrong.

0:19:56 > 0:19:58- But I'm not wooing you.- You're more of a mate, at the minute.

0:19:58 > 0:20:01I don't know,

0:20:01 > 0:20:04there's something about you that's keeping me chatting, so...

0:20:06 > 0:20:09What are you...? Why did you just do that?

0:20:09 > 0:20:11I'm terrible, couldn't you have just said?

0:20:11 > 0:20:13No, no, it was good.

0:20:13 > 0:20:16SHE GIGGLES

0:20:16 > 0:20:17- Let me see you do it.- Me?

0:20:19 > 0:20:21See, that looks much better than me.

0:20:21 > 0:20:23So shiny, your lips are so shiny.

0:20:23 > 0:20:26- It's that conditioner.- Hmm.

0:20:26 > 0:20:28It make them more kissable?

0:20:28 > 0:20:32If this was you, I'd be like.

0:20:32 > 0:20:34Don't, don't.

0:20:34 > 0:20:35Proper tonguing.

0:20:38 > 0:20:39Oh.

0:20:39 > 0:20:43# I can feel it coming in the air tonight... #

0:20:43 > 0:20:45Look at that.

0:20:45 > 0:20:47Yes, yes!

0:20:47 > 0:20:48No!

0:20:51 > 0:20:55- Doyle, quite a display there.- Yeah, a lot of tongue.- From their mouths.

0:20:55 > 0:20:57Are we witnessing the beginning of Date Zone love?

0:20:57 > 0:21:00James, that's not love, but it does mean Jordan's doing well.

0:21:00 > 0:21:03Oh, wait, who's this? Jack is back.

0:21:03 > 0:21:06- Oh, and he's being thrown to the Lioness.- Nice to meet you, I'm Ava.

0:21:06 > 0:21:09- How you doing, Ava?- Good, thanks. How are you?- Yeah, not bad, not bad.

0:21:09 > 0:21:13- You're looking really nice tonight. - Thank you.- Really nice. So, erm.

0:21:13 > 0:21:17- Where abouts are you living?- In London. How about you?- Northampton.

0:21:17 > 0:21:19Is it close to London?

0:21:19 > 0:21:22- It's not too far, it's about an hour away from London.- OK.

0:21:22 > 0:21:24Well, he's already done better than Karl did with her.

0:21:24 > 0:21:29Yes, but Karl's been with Louiza for a long time now

0:21:29 > 0:21:31and I'm just hearing, she has played the Heartstopper.

0:21:33 > 0:21:36- Doyle, what does this mean? - Oh, it's a man test,

0:21:36 > 0:21:38often seen when a guy's been at the table for a while

0:21:38 > 0:21:41- and the lady wants to test him. It could be physical or verbal.- OK.

0:21:41 > 0:21:43And I'm hearing it's The Language of Love,

0:21:43 > 0:21:46which means he's got to read her romantic poetry.

0:21:46 > 0:21:49Poetry! Jesus Christ, stick my head in a bucket of shit already.

0:21:51 > 0:21:53I want you to read out these words to the lady

0:21:53 > 0:21:57and make them sound really lovely. Three, two, one.

0:21:57 > 0:21:58Go.

0:21:58 > 0:22:02- Can I just play the harmonica? - Uh-oh, it's a refusal.

0:22:02 > 0:22:04Let's do this instead, it'll be fun.

0:22:16 > 0:22:17- Sorry.- That was really good.

0:22:17 > 0:22:20That is some fantastic dating improvisation, man.

0:22:20 > 0:22:23- Continue dating.- Thank you.

0:22:23 > 0:22:27- That was really good.- Unbelievable. - I'm not the best reader.- Aren't you?

0:22:27 > 0:22:30- Just keep that on me all the time. - Fair enough, you did well.

0:22:30 > 0:22:32- Thank you very much.- I'm impressed.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35Very impressive stuff but technically, he broke the rules.

0:22:35 > 0:22:38When it comes to the WSOD, there are no rules.

0:22:38 > 0:22:43- Hang on. What about this rule book? - That, sir, is the sacred Almanac.

0:22:43 > 0:22:46- Jazizzle-stick. - It's James, all right?

0:22:46 > 0:22:48Forget it. Here comes a new boy.

0:22:48 > 0:22:51Hazel Irvine never has to deal with this.

0:22:51 > 0:22:52Who?

0:22:53 > 0:22:54Is that Johnny Depp?

0:22:54 > 0:22:58No, this is Andrew, but he does, in fact, model himself on Johnny.

0:22:58 > 0:23:01And, at 18, he's the youngest competitor out there tonight.

0:23:01 > 0:23:03Then, God help him.

0:23:03 > 0:23:07- Hiya.- Hi.- Is it Becca, yeah?- Yeah. - Nice to meet you.- Nice to meet you.

0:23:07 > 0:23:09I'm Andrew or Andreas, whatever you prefer.

0:23:09 > 0:23:12I'm half Greek, so you get a wee special boy here now.

0:23:15 > 0:23:19- I'm in a band and I'm the drummer. - What kind of music?

0:23:19 > 0:23:23It's like, erm, AC/DC.

0:23:23 > 0:23:25I know who they are, but I've never heard their music.

0:23:25 > 0:23:28- You've never heard their music?- No, because it's not my kind of thing.

0:23:28 > 0:23:30How can she not know AC/DC?

0:23:30 > 0:23:34Come on, I mean, it's Brian Johnson, it's Angus Young, it's... Come on.

0:23:34 > 0:23:36MIAOW

0:23:36 > 0:23:38Well, that's coming out of your salary.

0:23:38 > 0:23:39Fine.

0:23:40 > 0:23:43- I've got something to admit.- Really, cool.- This might put you off.

0:23:43 > 0:23:47- I play World of Warcraft.- Honestly?

0:23:47 > 0:23:48Wow.

0:23:52 > 0:23:55You can't buzz me. Oh, my God.

0:23:57 > 0:23:59I am really proud of my geekiness.

0:23:59 > 0:24:02- I can imagine you with a big screen, like...- Oh! What is he doing?

0:24:06 > 0:24:08I gave it my best.

0:24:08 > 0:24:12Another date-icide. Can't see Bentley letting this one go.

0:24:13 > 0:24:18I was feeling your style, but you know what I don't like, though?

0:24:18 > 0:24:21- What?- When you take the feet right out of the jaws of victory.

0:24:21 > 0:24:23- I think you should take a hike.- Oh.

0:24:23 > 0:24:27I can't believe he tried to press the Blow-out Button.

0:24:27 > 0:24:30You do not break the rules of the WSOD.

0:24:31 > 0:24:33You just said there weren't any rules.

0:24:33 > 0:24:36- This game is built on rules, Jay-brama-hama.- It's James.

0:24:38 > 0:24:41- Have you seen The Notebook?- No.

0:24:41 > 0:24:43Yeah, at the very end, she's got Alzheimer's

0:24:43 > 0:24:46but she comes back to him and they're dancing

0:24:46 > 0:24:49and then, she just switches again and she doesn't know him.

0:24:50 > 0:24:53And you know why.

0:24:54 > 0:24:55Louiza.

0:25:01 > 0:25:03Beautiful Princess, what seems to be the problem?

0:25:03 > 0:25:06The worst sin of all.

0:25:06 > 0:25:10He didn't look into my eyes, he looked...

0:25:10 > 0:25:11somewhere else.

0:25:20 > 0:25:21I've got two words, man.

0:25:23 > 0:25:24Eye contact.

0:25:25 > 0:25:26- Yeah?- Yeah.

0:25:26 > 0:25:28When you keep eye contact,

0:25:28 > 0:25:30you stop taking your eyes to forbidden areas,

0:25:30 > 0:25:32- you know what I'm saying?- I know...

0:25:32 > 0:25:34That's a Cleavage Violation, man.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37Stand up, get your ass up.

0:25:37 > 0:25:39Go on, let's keep walking.

0:25:39 > 0:25:41A rookie error there from Karl,

0:25:41 > 0:25:43which could well cost him the prize tonight.

0:25:43 > 0:25:45Yup, as the famous dating motto goes,

0:25:45 > 0:25:47"Only look at her rack when she's having a snack.

0:25:47 > 0:25:49"And when she's eaten enough, you can look at..."

0:25:49 > 0:25:51I understand things are hotting up in the Date Zone.

0:25:51 > 0:25:57- OK, that's great.- Yeah, so, how old are you?- 23. How about you?- 21.

0:25:57 > 0:25:58SHE COUGHS

0:25:58 > 0:26:00- Are you all right? - Oh-oh, not a good sign.

0:26:00 > 0:26:03Maybe I ought to get down there, I know the Heimlich.

0:26:03 > 0:26:05- No, you stay right there. Stay there.- She's in distress.

0:26:05 > 0:26:08- You've had one arrest today already. - I can help this lady.

0:26:08 > 0:26:10You'll be asked to leave the country.

0:26:10 > 0:26:11- It's worth it. - Just stay where you are!

0:26:11 > 0:26:13BUZZER RINGS

0:26:13 > 0:26:16Well, that's another great night of dating competition over.

0:26:16 > 0:26:19All that's left is for Bentley to crown tonight's winner.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25All right, fellas.

0:26:25 > 0:26:29Now, I could say we're all winners tonight, then I'd be lying.

0:26:30 > 0:26:32Truth is, there's only one winner.

0:26:32 > 0:26:36One man that made me proud tonight.

0:26:36 > 0:26:37And the winner is...

0:26:48 > 0:26:50..Jack.

0:26:50 > 0:26:52APPLAUSE

0:26:52 > 0:26:53I salute you, young man.

0:26:53 > 0:26:55You're flying the flag for the male race.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57All give it up for Jack, man, come on.

0:26:57 > 0:27:01- SLOW MOTION:- Have you got something in your eye?

0:27:01 > 0:27:05- SLOW MOTION:- My favourite film's Finding Nemo.

0:27:05 > 0:27:09Confirmation there that Jack wins with 33,300 points.

0:27:09 > 0:27:12But look how close that was,

0:27:12 > 0:27:13Karl is right behind him.

0:27:15 > 0:27:17Doyle, your thoughts on tonight's play.

0:27:24 > 0:27:27- There you go, Jay-shizzle.- James.

0:27:28 > 0:27:32Well, tonight's been a busy night down there in the Date Zone.

0:27:32 > 0:27:33Our girls were on fire.

0:27:35 > 0:27:38Ladies and gentlemen, the WSOD has not come to the UK

0:27:38 > 0:27:41purely so that I can see Nelson's Column

0:27:41 > 0:27:44and fulfil the love dreams of several famous Brit women.

0:27:44 > 0:27:46No, no, no, no.

0:27:46 > 0:27:49We are here to teach you the ways of the date.

0:27:49 > 0:27:52Men of Britain, never look at a lady's milkers...

0:27:53 > 0:27:54..when she might catch you doing it.

0:27:54 > 0:27:57Keep your eyes on the prize,

0:27:57 > 0:27:59not the prizes.

0:27:59 > 0:28:02Until next time, date strong, Britain.

0:28:02 > 0:28:03Mmmm.

0:28:03 > 0:28:05Enjoying my urine?

0:28:05 > 0:28:08Ah. Oh, God. Eurgh!

0:28:09 > 0:28:11- Ugh!- Mmm.

0:28:20 > 0:28:23Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd