Episode 5

Download Subtitles

Transcript

0:00:20 > 0:00:21Hello, and welcome to the latest heat

0:00:21 > 0:00:24in the UK's first ever season of the World Series Of Dating.

0:00:24 > 0:00:26My name is James Chetwyn-Talbot,

0:00:26 > 0:00:30and joining me tonight is WSOD legend and five-time champion Doyle McManus.

0:00:30 > 0:00:31I hear the ladies are literally

0:00:31 > 0:00:34chomping at the bit tonight down there, Doyle.

0:00:34 > 0:00:35Are you kidding me!

0:00:35 > 0:00:39This is the WSOD UK-style. You might have to tie me to a chair

0:00:39 > 0:00:42to keep me from diving into the Date Zone myself, cos it's on.

0:00:42 > 0:00:43OK. Tell me, Doyle,

0:00:43 > 0:00:46what makes competitive dating such a great spectator sport?

0:00:46 > 0:00:49Well, Jimmy, imagine taking a greased-up naked man,

0:00:49 > 0:00:53covering him in pate and throwing him into a pool of sharks,

0:00:53 > 0:00:55and those sharks have machine guns!

0:00:55 > 0:00:58That, my friend, is what we're going to be watching tonight.

0:00:58 > 0:00:59Not according to the TV listings.

0:00:59 > 0:01:02Doyle, I think it might help if you explain the rules.

0:01:02 > 0:01:04All right, Britain, here we go.

0:01:04 > 0:01:07The World Series of Dating sees seduction, sport and supper

0:01:07 > 0:01:09smashed into each other. Kaboom!

0:01:09 > 0:01:11In each heat, four guys enter the Date Zone

0:01:11 > 0:01:15and their mission is to date the lady for as long as they can,

0:01:15 > 0:01:17each second at the table earning him 10 points.

0:01:17 > 0:01:19If you want to have sex with me, that's fine.

0:01:19 > 0:01:21You're such an arsehole!

0:01:21 > 0:01:23These guys need to be at the top of their dating game,

0:01:23 > 0:01:25because if these girls are left cold,

0:01:25 > 0:01:26they will hit the blow-out button.

0:01:26 > 0:01:28EXPLOSION NOISE

0:01:28 > 0:01:29Naughty.

0:01:29 > 0:01:33Legendary WSOD referee Bentley will make a judgment call on the date.

0:01:33 > 0:01:35For minor errors, the guy may get another chance,

0:01:35 > 0:01:38but if a dating violation has occurred....

0:01:38 > 0:01:40That's a cleavage violation, man!

0:01:40 > 0:01:42..the guy is off the table.

0:01:42 > 0:01:43Go ahead, man!

0:01:43 > 0:01:46- The winner is the guy who lasted the longest.- Whoo!

0:01:46 > 0:01:49The battle to become UK's greatest living dater has begun. Yeah!

0:01:49 > 0:01:51Thank you very much, Doyle.

0:01:51 > 0:01:53We are moments away from the action,

0:01:53 > 0:01:55so it's time to meet the team of temptresses

0:01:55 > 0:01:57the men will have to impress tonight.

0:01:59 > 0:02:02It's Marisa, 26. She's only 5' 3",

0:02:02 > 0:02:04but she's strangely intimidating,

0:02:04 > 0:02:05very much like ice.

0:02:05 > 0:02:07- Hot ice!- Yes, hot ice.

0:02:07 > 0:02:09Scientifically utterly impossible,

0:02:09 > 0:02:11but yes, probably the toughest lady out there tonight.

0:02:12 > 0:02:14Now, Laura is 20. She's from Norwich.

0:02:14 > 0:02:16She's a maths student

0:02:16 > 0:02:18- and she's double-jointed at the elbows.- Oh-ho! Hello!

0:02:18 > 0:02:21- Are you thinking what I'm thinking? - That's highly unlikely.

0:02:21 > 0:02:24- Inverted reach-around!- Good God. I was thinking of puppetry!

0:02:24 > 0:02:25Right, on to Robyn. She's 26

0:02:25 > 0:02:28- and describes herself as a real woman.- Well, that's reassuring,

0:02:28 > 0:02:30because when a lady turns out not to be,

0:02:30 > 0:02:33- it kind of puts me off my rhythm. - Robyn's from Preston...

0:02:33 > 0:02:35Obviously it doesn't stop me, but, you know.

0:02:35 > 0:02:36Good to know. Thanks for that.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38And completing the ladies' line-up,

0:02:38 > 0:02:40it's enigmatic elfin enigma

0:02:40 > 0:02:42Charlie, 19, from Cardiff,

0:02:42 > 0:02:44and she's after a man who plays rugby, which,

0:02:44 > 0:02:47interestingly, is a sport I thought I'd come to the BBC to commentate on.

0:02:47 > 0:02:49But no, no, here we are on a dating show.

0:02:49 > 0:02:52One gender in the bag - and what a bag.

0:02:52 > 0:02:54Now show me the British beef!

0:02:54 > 0:02:56This is Ben.

0:02:56 > 0:02:58He's a sales advisor from Newcastle,

0:02:58 > 0:02:59which means he's a Geordie.

0:02:59 > 0:03:00You know, James, I think

0:03:00 > 0:03:02we should keep religion out of this.

0:03:02 > 0:03:05No, that's not... Never mind. We need to move on to Kieran.

0:03:05 > 0:03:06He's a student from Birmingham

0:03:06 > 0:03:08and he likes a Hobnob.

0:03:08 > 0:03:09Ah, playing it gay!

0:03:09 > 0:03:11Girls love that.

0:03:11 > 0:03:12No, it's a...biscuit.

0:03:12 > 0:03:13Next up, it's Paul.

0:03:13 > 0:03:16He's a Glaswegian barman and his favourite chat-up line is,

0:03:16 > 0:03:18"I've lost my phone number,

0:03:18 > 0:03:20"can I have yours?"

0:03:20 > 0:03:22On first listen, that sounds clever,

0:03:22 > 0:03:24but actually, that doesn't even make sense.

0:03:24 > 0:03:27No, not really. And completing the line-up...

0:03:27 > 0:03:31- He's thinking about something out there, isn't he?- This is Matt.

0:03:31 > 0:03:32He's 22, and he's a vet.

0:03:32 > 0:03:34Which war?

0:03:34 > 0:03:37The war against sick animals, I think.

0:03:37 > 0:03:39And there he is, Referee Bentley.

0:03:39 > 0:03:43Ah, the greatest WSOD referee ever.

0:03:43 > 0:03:46Oh, I've seen that look before. Cincinnati, '98.

0:03:46 > 0:03:47A man died that night.

0:03:52 > 0:03:54Welcome, noble datesmen.

0:03:54 > 0:03:58I wish you good fortune in my realm of bromance.

0:03:58 > 0:04:00I'm your referee, Bentley.

0:04:00 > 0:04:01HE LAUGHS

0:04:01 > 0:04:02Do not cross me!

0:04:02 > 0:04:03Ladies.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05HE LAUGHS

0:04:05 > 0:04:06We shall date 'em.

0:04:07 > 0:04:09We shall date 'em on the beaches,

0:04:09 > 0:04:12we shall date 'em on the landing grounds,

0:04:12 > 0:04:14we shall date 'em on the fields and in the streets.

0:04:14 > 0:04:16We shall date 'em on the hills.

0:04:16 > 0:04:18We shall always date 'em.

0:04:18 > 0:04:21God speed and good luck.

0:04:21 > 0:04:23Date on!

0:04:27 > 0:04:29- Hiya, you all right?- Hello.

0:04:29 > 0:04:30Ben. Nice to meet you.

0:04:30 > 0:04:33- Nice to meet you, I'm Marisa. - You look nice.- Thank you.

0:04:33 > 0:04:35- What's that on your neck?- Tattoo.

0:04:35 > 0:04:39- A tattoo?- I've got a lot. - Your tattoo's really bothering me.

0:04:39 > 0:04:42- Why?- Just cos it's the only thing I can look at.

0:04:42 > 0:04:45- Shame I can't cover it up.- And your earrings, obviously, as well.

0:04:45 > 0:04:47Why have you got two earrings in?

0:04:47 > 0:04:50- Cos I wanted to.- Oh, right.

0:04:50 > 0:04:51Why've you got two in?

0:04:51 > 0:04:53I'm a girl.

0:04:54 > 0:04:56- Do you want us to take them out? - Will you?

0:04:56 > 0:04:58- Yeah.- Is that all right?

0:04:58 > 0:05:00- Yeah, seeing as I'm nice. - Thank you.- No bother.

0:05:00 > 0:05:03What about the bracelet? Do you want to take that off?

0:05:03 > 0:05:04From Marisa, that is a warm welcome.

0:05:04 > 0:05:06- As warm as hot ice!- Yeah.

0:05:06 > 0:05:07Ben's off to a tough start.

0:05:07 > 0:05:09Let's see who Kieran's drawn.

0:05:09 > 0:05:12- Where's the menus? - Yeah, shall we have a look?

0:05:12 > 0:05:14I thought this was part of the table.

0:05:16 > 0:05:17Oh.

0:05:17 > 0:05:18Vegetarian?

0:05:18 > 0:05:19- Am I?- Yes.

0:05:19 > 0:05:22- No.- No, OK.- Like a good bit of meat.

0:05:22 > 0:05:23Oh, yes, indeed.

0:05:23 > 0:05:25Cheeky!

0:05:25 > 0:05:27Is that what you Brits call flirting?

0:05:27 > 0:05:29I have no idea. I've never done it.

0:05:29 > 0:05:31At this stage, I think they're just feeling each other out.

0:05:31 > 0:05:36What? Mmm. I hear you. It must be those double-jointed elbows, right?

0:05:37 > 0:05:38How tall are you?

0:05:38 > 0:05:40I think I'm about 5' 11".

0:05:40 > 0:05:42I haven't ever...

0:05:42 > 0:05:44- Measured yourself?- Measured.

0:05:44 > 0:05:45I don't really see the need.

0:05:45 > 0:05:47SHE LAUGHS

0:05:47 > 0:05:51Yeah, I think I'm happy with my height.

0:05:51 > 0:05:53Yeah.

0:05:53 > 0:05:54I'm a bit too skinny as it is,

0:05:54 > 0:05:56so if I was any taller, I'd be like a beanpole.

0:05:56 > 0:05:57SHE LAUGHS

0:05:57 > 0:05:59Oh, that's funny.

0:05:59 > 0:06:02Hmmm. What kind of man doesn't know his measurements?

0:06:02 > 0:06:04I can tell you mine in millimetres, inches or feet.

0:06:04 > 0:06:06Well, staying on a measurement theme,

0:06:06 > 0:06:09let's go over to the shortest lady in the Date Zone tonight.

0:06:09 > 0:06:12Wait, you weren't talking about height, were you?

0:06:12 > 0:06:14Nine out of a cold pool, my friend.

0:06:15 > 0:06:16Behold.

0:06:16 > 0:06:17HE GRUNTS

0:06:17 > 0:06:20HE STRAINS

0:06:21 > 0:06:22This one's for Uncle Sam.

0:06:22 > 0:06:24HE STRAINS

0:06:24 > 0:06:25All right there.

0:06:25 > 0:06:27Buzz you out now for dressing better than me.

0:06:27 > 0:06:29Oh, no, you look fine.

0:06:29 > 0:06:32Thank you. I like your bling.

0:06:32 > 0:06:33We could be matching.

0:06:33 > 0:06:35Aye, we can be bling buddies.

0:06:35 > 0:06:37But you're beautiful.

0:06:37 > 0:06:40- Thank you.- You're beautiful. - Thanks.- I love your hair.

0:06:40 > 0:06:41Aye, sounds like a fun day.

0:06:41 > 0:06:45Me, I went for a haircut yesterday and I'm starting to run out of hair!

0:06:45 > 0:06:48Probably end up having to shave my head one day.

0:06:48 > 0:06:50There seems to be a sound problem down in the Date Zone.

0:06:50 > 0:06:52Can we get a new mic on this guy, please?

0:06:52 > 0:06:53No, it's not the microphone. He's Scottish.

0:06:53 > 0:06:55He was talking about shaving his head,

0:06:55 > 0:06:57or as Scottish people say, "heid".

0:06:57 > 0:07:00Scottish, huh? Are you sure, because

0:07:00 > 0:07:03Mel Gibson doesn't sound anything like that in Braveheart.

0:07:03 > 0:07:05You know, I was just out with Mel the other day.

0:07:05 > 0:07:07We were driving by a synagogue and he rolled down the window...

0:07:07 > 0:07:09OK! Doesn't matter what he said. Who cares?

0:07:09 > 0:07:11Let's get back down to the Date Zone.

0:07:11 > 0:07:14I hear Marisa's still grilling Ben about his tattoos.

0:07:14 > 0:07:16You've got to let me tell you what he said...

0:07:16 > 0:07:18Why've you got lips on your neck?

0:07:18 > 0:07:19Is that meant to mean anything?

0:07:19 > 0:07:22- It's just a design. It's no-one's lips.- What does that mean?

0:07:22 > 0:07:24Because that can't portray anything good

0:07:24 > 0:07:28to any girl that you will remotely be interested in.

0:07:29 > 0:07:31- Do you regret having it done? - No, I love it.

0:07:31 > 0:07:33Right.

0:07:36 > 0:07:38HE EXHALES

0:07:38 > 0:07:41Errr...

0:07:41 > 0:07:42Awkward moment.

0:07:45 > 0:07:48Not good...at all.

0:07:48 > 0:07:51- Ben's on thin ice already. - Thin hot ice!

0:07:51 > 0:07:52I do keep a diary.

0:07:52 > 0:07:55- That's quite geeky. - That's a bit geeky.- Yeah.

0:07:55 > 0:07:57It's not a proper in-paragraphs diary.

0:07:57 > 0:07:58I'll just write down words...

0:07:58 > 0:08:00Little notes and stuff.

0:08:00 > 0:08:01..that will trigger it,

0:08:01 > 0:08:02so if I look back at a day,

0:08:02 > 0:08:03I'll remember that day.

0:08:03 > 0:08:05- OK. Perfect question for you now.- Right.

0:08:05 > 0:08:10If you were to write a diary entry on this date, what would you put?

0:08:11 > 0:08:13Robyn seemed a very nice girl.

0:08:13 > 0:08:16- Oh, that's rubbish! - I don't give out compliments.

0:08:16 > 0:08:19- So I did well to get one, then? - Yeah, that was a lot of effort.

0:08:19 > 0:08:23There's a barrier in my mind that just stops me giving any.

0:08:23 > 0:08:26Probably not the right thing for this, cos you've got to impress me

0:08:26 > 0:08:29- in a really short space of time. - Yeah, I realise that.

0:08:30 > 0:08:35- What do you want to do with a maths degree?- I want to teach.

0:08:35 > 0:08:36Erm...what was I going to say?

0:08:38 > 0:08:40But maths? It's a degree that's not...

0:08:40 > 0:08:42unless you want to go into accountancy,

0:08:42 > 0:08:43but then you've got to...

0:08:43 > 0:08:45Or teaching?

0:08:45 > 0:08:46Yeah.

0:08:46 > 0:08:48Or anything?

0:08:48 > 0:08:51- You can do anything with a maths degree.- Really? Right.

0:08:51 > 0:08:52Engineering, computing...

0:08:52 > 0:08:56So, do you want to go into the maths side of computering?

0:08:56 > 0:08:57No, I want to be a teacher.

0:08:57 > 0:08:59- I've told you.- If the teaching's...

0:08:59 > 0:09:01You don't seem to be listening very well.

0:09:01 > 0:09:02I'm really sorry.

0:09:02 > 0:09:05EXPLOSION NOISE AND SIRENS

0:09:05 > 0:09:08There it is. The first blowout button of the night.

0:09:08 > 0:09:11Rookie mistake. He's clearly not listening.

0:09:11 > 0:09:13Plus, "computering" is not a word.

0:09:13 > 0:09:16How will referee Bentley judge this one? He's with Laura now.

0:09:17 > 0:09:18He's not listening.

0:09:18 > 0:09:21He keeps repeating the same questions over and over again,

0:09:21 > 0:09:23then it'll be quiet for ages

0:09:23 > 0:09:26where he's umm-ing and ahh-ing for something to say.

0:09:26 > 0:09:29- Awkward silence. OK.- Yeah. - Come on, let's take care of this.

0:09:29 > 0:09:30How are you calling this one, Doyle?

0:09:30 > 0:09:33Well, COMPUTERING what she said, my guess is he's going.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36- How you doing, young man? - All right, thanks.

0:09:36 > 0:09:37Yourself?

0:09:37 > 0:09:39I'm good. I'm real good.

0:09:39 > 0:09:40We got a problem here.

0:09:40 > 0:09:42You're drifting off,

0:09:42 > 0:09:44going all different places. Now get your ass up!

0:09:45 > 0:09:47Take a walk, man!

0:09:48 > 0:09:49Whoa, there it is!

0:09:49 > 0:09:51I called it right.

0:09:51 > 0:09:53That's a Yawn Star violation.

0:09:53 > 0:09:55You've got to listen to the lady, man.

0:09:55 > 0:09:58- It's the only you'll eventually get to the goods.- So sad.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01Kieran's gone already, only clocking up 12,770 points.

0:10:01 > 0:10:04And he didn't even get to finish his melon boat.

0:10:04 > 0:10:07I'm pretty laid back, to be fair, like.

0:10:07 > 0:10:10Dead affectionate as well, like, really affectionate person.

0:10:10 > 0:10:14- Do you like hugging?- I love cuddles, man.- Oh, God, right, OK.

0:10:14 > 0:10:15Cuddles are the way forward.

0:10:15 > 0:10:16Why?

0:10:16 > 0:10:20Cuddles are... Everyone loves a good cuddle, man.

0:10:20 > 0:10:24- Are you an affectionate person, then?- No.- At all?- No.

0:10:25 > 0:10:27So are you impressed, then, or what?

0:10:27 > 0:10:29No.

0:10:30 > 0:10:34Wow! Blowout buttons being hit all over the place, but what a challenge, though, huh?

0:10:34 > 0:10:38I'd love to be out there defrosting that hot ice!

0:10:38 > 0:10:40All right, young man, here's the deal.

0:10:40 > 0:10:42She's not impressed.

0:10:42 > 0:10:45You had a good run, you just take a walk.

0:10:46 > 0:10:49- Do you want your jewellery? - Yeah.

0:10:50 > 0:10:51Thank you.

0:10:51 > 0:10:52Bye!

0:10:53 > 0:10:57That's the only jewels of yours she's gonna be touching.

0:10:57 > 0:11:01Ben has clocked up 23,980 points.

0:11:01 > 0:11:03However, he must kiss goodbye to his date.

0:11:03 > 0:11:05Probably with those tattooed lips.

0:11:05 > 0:11:07Ho-ho! Excellent punning.

0:11:07 > 0:11:10Thanks very much. He's with Poppy Weathers now. Let's lip-sen in.

0:11:11 > 0:11:13Ah, you killed it, man!

0:11:13 > 0:11:17Ah, Ben, tricky start there, tricky start with Marisa.

0:11:17 > 0:11:20She made you do bling. She did. How do you feel about that?

0:11:20 > 0:11:22Totally gutted.

0:11:22 > 0:11:24And she also didn't like your tattoo, did she?

0:11:24 > 0:11:28The lips, particularly. Whose lips are they?

0:11:28 > 0:11:30Just a design, that I got.

0:11:30 > 0:11:32Design you liked?

0:11:32 > 0:11:34A design I wanted.

0:11:34 > 0:11:38I like tea. I've got a massive cup of tea on my back. Massive, steaming.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40Lovely.

0:11:40 > 0:11:45- If you want to see it, I'll show it to you, but later. At teatime.- Cool.

0:11:45 > 0:11:49Now it's time to throw another piece of man meat to the lady wolves.

0:11:49 > 0:11:53- Who's next?- This is Daniel, and exotically, he comes from Colombia.

0:11:53 > 0:11:55He likes computers and heavy metal.

0:11:55 > 0:11:57Then, why is he even here?

0:11:57 > 0:12:00This guy's gonna last, like, two seconds.

0:12:00 > 0:12:01- Hiya.- Hi, how are you?

0:12:01 > 0:12:03All right, how are you?

0:12:03 > 0:12:07I'm very nice. My name is Daniel. Nice to meet you.

0:12:07 > 0:12:10- I'm Laura.- Laura? - Where are you from?

0:12:10 > 0:12:14- I'm from Colombia. - Colombia, ooh, wow!- Yourself?

0:12:14 > 0:12:18- Uh, I've got a bit of South American in me.- That's a nice coincidence.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20- Do you say Lo-ra or Lau-ra? - I say Lau-ra.

0:12:20 > 0:12:24Lau-ra. I love my name being pronounced Lau-ra.

0:12:24 > 0:12:25It's sexy.

0:12:25 > 0:12:26Yeah, it is.

0:12:26 > 0:12:29Yo, freeze, there. Check out those signals right there.

0:12:29 > 0:12:31Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, she does seem

0:12:31 > 0:12:33to be enjoying that spaghetti Bolognese.

0:12:33 > 0:12:36What?! No wonder you're a virgin! Look.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39Those eyes mean she's interested, and that wide-open mouth?

0:12:39 > 0:12:41Hang on, I've never said I'm a virgin.

0:12:41 > 0:12:43Pfft! You didn't have to!

0:12:43 > 0:12:45Anyway, this isn't about me.

0:12:45 > 0:12:48This is about how Daniel and Laura are getting on.

0:12:48 > 0:12:52I'm just hearing that an old friend is heading back into the date zone.

0:12:52 > 0:12:54Hello!

0:12:54 > 0:12:55- Hello.- How are you?- Good, thanks.

0:12:55 > 0:12:58I'd normally ask what your name is, but as it says Marissa...

0:12:58 > 0:13:00It's not Marissa, it's Marisa.

0:13:00 > 0:13:04Nice of you to correct me on my pronunciation. What's your hobbies?

0:13:04 > 0:13:06Um...

0:13:08 > 0:13:09- Do you like football?- No.

0:13:09 > 0:13:13Have you ever come across a lady as tenacious as this?

0:13:13 > 0:13:14I sure have, J-Dog.

0:13:14 > 0:13:15James, it's James.

0:13:15 > 0:13:17I played this game, J-Wizz.

0:13:17 > 0:13:20You've got to dominate this kind of lady in the date zone.

0:13:20 > 0:13:22Break 'em before they break you.

0:13:22 > 0:13:24And, if you do, ride 'em, cowboy!

0:13:24 > 0:13:26On behalf of the BBC, I'd like to apologise

0:13:26 > 0:13:29for the deeply inappropriate nature of that metaphor.

0:13:29 > 0:13:32So, have you got any talents you can impress me with?

0:13:32 > 0:13:35Ah, I can dance.

0:13:35 > 0:13:37- You can dance?- Yes. - What sort of dance?

0:13:37 > 0:13:40Er, I can dance salsa.

0:13:40 > 0:13:41You going to show me a dance?

0:13:41 > 0:13:44If you would be willing to be my partner for dancing, yes.

0:13:44 > 0:13:47I will be more than happy to show you.

0:13:47 > 0:13:49- Would you like to? - What, right now?

0:13:49 > 0:13:52Yeah! I mean, why not?

0:13:52 > 0:13:54Would you like a dance with me?

0:13:54 > 0:13:57Are you intimidated by my height?

0:13:57 > 0:14:00No, actually I'm not, because I noticed your heels.

0:14:00 > 0:14:03I know you're wearing high heels. OK.

0:14:03 > 0:14:05So, we're going to dance merengue.

0:14:05 > 0:14:07Merengue? OK.

0:14:07 > 0:14:09That goes quite easy,

0:14:09 > 0:14:16that's just like, as you would imagine, one, two, one, two, yeah?

0:14:16 > 0:14:17- You got it.- OK.

0:14:17 > 0:14:21OK, I'm going to grab you here, and here.

0:14:21 > 0:14:25And then we go Mm-hmm, Mm-hmm.

0:14:25 > 0:14:28And then we go backwards, and forwards.

0:14:28 > 0:14:30Backwards, and forwards.

0:14:30 > 0:14:33Oh, what an amazing play!

0:14:33 > 0:14:35He does the double effect of acceptable touching

0:14:35 > 0:14:38and it keeps Laura's hands away from the buzzer.

0:14:38 > 0:14:40This kid's a genius.

0:14:40 > 0:14:41That's right. What are you doing?

0:14:41 > 0:14:43Whoa, I'm sorry. I misread the signals. My bad.

0:14:43 > 0:14:46- I'm not Rihanna!- OK!

0:14:47 > 0:14:49What kind of music are you into?

0:14:49 > 0:14:56It sounds awful, but I quite like Lady Gaga and Rihanna and Kesha.

0:14:58 > 0:15:03Wow! Pretending to like girls' music usually guarantees third base.

0:15:03 > 0:15:06All right, young man. You like Lady Gaga?

0:15:06 > 0:15:07Yeah.

0:15:07 > 0:15:10Some things, man, you got to keep to yourself.

0:15:10 > 0:15:12Get your ass up, man!

0:15:12 > 0:15:14I told you to go nowhere yet.

0:15:14 > 0:15:16Now, get the hell out of here, man!

0:15:16 > 0:15:19MUSIC: "Bad Romance" by Lady Gaga

0:15:19 > 0:15:22Closet Gaga, he's go-gone.

0:15:22 > 0:15:24Yes, our third boy is out.

0:15:24 > 0:15:28But Matt's currently in the lead with 26,800 points.

0:15:28 > 0:15:32He's talking to the lovely, really delightful, smells delicious, Poppy.

0:15:32 > 0:15:38She had a problem that you were gaga about Gaga. Why... Ga?

0:15:38 > 0:15:44Erm, I wouldn't say it's about her in general, just, musically,

0:15:44 > 0:15:49I'm a fan, but I don't see any point in lying about that

0:15:49 > 0:15:53because eventually you'd get to the stage when all you would hear coming

0:15:53 > 0:15:56out of my room was Lady Gaga music, so why lie about it?

0:15:58 > 0:16:00SPEECH IN SLOW MOTION

0:16:03 > 0:16:04Off you go.

0:16:07 > 0:16:08Nice bottom.

0:16:11 > 0:16:13Where are you coming from?

0:16:13 > 0:16:16Were you with your parents, were you born here?

0:16:16 > 0:16:18- I'm not from Scotland. I'm not from Scotland!- Oh!

0:16:18 > 0:16:20I'm so embarrassed.

0:16:20 > 0:16:21I'm so embarrassed, too.

0:16:21 > 0:16:25I can't believe you thought I was from Scotland! I'm sorry.

0:16:25 > 0:16:26KLAXON SOUNDS

0:16:26 > 0:16:29How could Daniel make such a mistake?

0:16:29 > 0:16:31Unbelievable!

0:16:31 > 0:16:34You seem like a pretty good dater, man.

0:16:34 > 0:16:38You got your little dance going on, I'm kind of feeling that, you know what I mean?

0:16:38 > 0:16:42- Yeah?- Yeah, but for right now, I'm going to need you to get your ass up.

0:16:42 > 0:16:43- I will. - Yeah, go ahead, do it. A'ight.

0:16:43 > 0:16:46And just take a walk right round for me, man.

0:16:46 > 0:16:49- You got a future in this game, son, I can feel it.- Thank you very much.

0:16:49 > 0:16:51Nice to meet you.

0:16:52 > 0:16:54It's a simple conversation violation, but, you know what?

0:16:54 > 0:16:57I like this guy. He's a maverick.

0:16:57 > 0:17:00I really hope we get to see him back in the date zone.

0:17:00 > 0:17:02Breaking news.

0:17:02 > 0:17:05Mumbling Paul has mumbled his last mumble in the zone.

0:17:05 > 0:17:07Charlie has simply had enough.

0:17:07 > 0:17:10The zone can be brutal, but one dater's disaster

0:17:10 > 0:17:14is another's opportunity, as Ben returns to the action.

0:17:14 > 0:17:17Hiya, you all right? How are you? I'm Ben.

0:17:17 > 0:17:19- I'm Laura. Nice to meet you.- You OK?

0:17:19 > 0:17:21- I like your tattoo.- Thank you.

0:17:22 > 0:17:24What made you get that done?

0:17:24 > 0:17:30I wanted, like, a random one, like, pretty cool. I'm a random guy.

0:17:30 > 0:17:32- Where are you from?- Newcastle.

0:17:32 > 0:17:34- How about you?- Norwich.

0:17:34 > 0:17:38- Like your smile, by the way. - Oh, thank you.- It's nice.

0:17:38 > 0:17:43I like a smile on a girl. Eyes, teeth, nose.

0:17:44 > 0:17:49And a smile. I know that's, like, in with the teeth thing, but...

0:17:49 > 0:17:51Nice lips as well.

0:17:51 > 0:17:54Ben there, complementing nearly all of the elements of Laura's face.

0:17:54 > 0:17:58- Tell me, do ladies like face compliments?- Yes, they do, James.

0:17:58 > 0:18:01Complementing the face is good, but don't stray below the neckline.

0:18:01 > 0:18:06- Yeah, I don't think we need to spell that out.- Girls don't like rack-chat. - Thanks for spelling that out.

0:18:06 > 0:18:09But I flew 19 times last year.

0:18:09 > 0:18:10You what?

0:18:10 > 0:18:14- I flew 19 times last year. - Did you? Where did you fly to?

0:18:14 > 0:18:20I went to France six times, I went to Germany twice.

0:18:20 > 0:18:23I went to Belfast twice, I went to Mexico.

0:18:23 > 0:18:27I went to Egypt, I went to Tunisia...

0:18:27 > 0:18:28Yeah.

0:18:28 > 0:18:30Yeah, hmm.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33Do you like transport? Is there any particular transport you don't like?

0:18:33 > 0:18:35- Nobody's asked me that before. - Really?

0:18:35 > 0:18:38- There's a first time for everything, isn't there?- You're freaking me out.

0:18:38 > 0:18:41- It's not as if I...- You are. You're freaking me out.- Ooh!

0:18:41 > 0:18:45- KLAXON BLARES - Mentioning transport is a kamikaze dating move.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47Surely Kieran can't survive this.

0:18:48 > 0:18:52He asked me what my favourite mode of transport was,

0:18:52 > 0:18:56- which is a bit of a rubbish question.- Yeah, yeah, right, OK.

0:18:59 > 0:19:01All right, Kieran.

0:19:01 > 0:19:04Favourite mode of transport, man?

0:19:04 > 0:19:06You kidding me? Get your ass up, man.

0:19:09 > 0:19:12Two dates for Kieran, two yawn stars.

0:19:12 > 0:19:15I suppose you could say he threw himself under the dating train.

0:19:15 > 0:19:19- Ho-ho! Nice!- Yeah.- Daniel's back in the Date Zone, yeah!

0:19:19 > 0:19:21Do you know any jokes?

0:19:21 > 0:19:25Um, let's see.

0:19:27 > 0:19:29No.

0:19:32 > 0:19:36Stop us if you don't understand, like, what sayings...

0:19:36 > 0:19:38You know what craic means? Like, having craic? No.

0:19:38 > 0:19:43Like, I would say to my mates, "Oh, your craic's good."

0:19:43 > 0:19:46- SHE GIGGLES - That sounds so awful!

0:19:47 > 0:19:49Oh, my God!

0:19:49 > 0:19:53- I'll just say your banter's good. I'll just say that.- OK. - Not your craic.

0:19:53 > 0:19:56Not my crack! I can't!

0:19:56 > 0:19:59That guy just mentioned the lady's crack and got away with it!

0:19:59 > 0:20:02I've tried that move twice in my career.

0:20:02 > 0:20:05The second time I ended up in the hospital for three days.

0:20:07 > 0:20:11- Hi, I'm Matt.- Hello. - Pleased to meet you.

0:20:11 > 0:20:14- You all right?- Yeah, not bad. Yourself?- Yeah, good, thanks.

0:20:14 > 0:20:18I'd like to point out this isn't my shirt. I was given it to wear.

0:20:18 > 0:20:22I would never normally wear a shirt that's too big and an awful colour.

0:20:22 > 0:20:26Um... That's the situation we have.

0:20:26 > 0:20:29Who gave you the shirt?

0:20:29 > 0:20:33Well, the one I turned up with would have given people epileptic fits.

0:20:33 > 0:20:37- SHE LAUGHS - So, I couldn't wear it.

0:20:37 > 0:20:40Wow, this date could be the game-changer right now.

0:20:40 > 0:20:43- Hot ice is thawing out there! - She's dripping, Jim Bob.

0:20:43 > 0:20:46Hmm, it's James, and not dripping, thawing.

0:20:46 > 0:20:50- Are you into Spanish music? - Well, actually, no.- No?

0:20:50 > 0:20:52I'm more of a rock person.

0:20:52 > 0:20:58- A rock person?- Yes. Mostly just chilling out in my house.

0:20:58 > 0:21:02I like to listen to metal or grunge.

0:21:02 > 0:21:04You listen to metal and grunge to chill out?

0:21:05 > 0:21:10- Sometimes.- Yeah?- You look at me like, "This guy is nuts."

0:21:10 > 0:21:13Yes, I think you are quite nuts. Are you into horror films at all?

0:21:13 > 0:21:16Sometimes, horror films as well.

0:21:16 > 0:21:21- Are you one of those people that watches horror films by themselves? - No. No, that would be just creepy.

0:21:21 > 0:21:23Yeah.

0:21:25 > 0:21:28- Do you go to the gym, then?- Aye. - Can I have a feel of your guns?

0:21:28 > 0:21:31- Got what?- Can I have a feel of your guns?- Can you feel them?- Yeah. - If you want.

0:21:31 > 0:21:35Go on, then. You've got to lean!

0:21:35 > 0:21:39- Wow, I'm impressed! - And now I've got to feel yours.

0:21:40 > 0:21:43Yeah, Mrs Muscles!

0:21:43 > 0:21:46- Nice, nice.- It's a sexy pose, innit?

0:21:46 > 0:21:48That's a nice little pose. Do that.

0:21:48 > 0:21:52- What, like...?- Again. I like that! That's nice. It's really nice.

0:21:52 > 0:21:56Oh, yeah! This is homosex-hibition play!

0:21:56 > 0:21:59He's touching, she's posing and I'm loving it!

0:21:59 > 0:22:01Also still dating very well is Matt.

0:22:01 > 0:22:04- If you are an animal, what animal would you be?- A camel.

0:22:04 > 0:22:06Why would you be a camel?

0:22:06 > 0:22:09I, like, don't really drink a lot...

0:22:11 > 0:22:14..so I'd have phases where I'd drunk loads and stored it

0:22:14 > 0:22:17- and then I could just carry on with my day.- Right.

0:22:17 > 0:22:21- Fair enough.- What would you say?

0:22:21 > 0:22:24- I'd be an elephant, I think. - I was going to say elephant.- Hmm.

0:22:24 > 0:22:28- Why would you be an elephant? - Nothing really attacks you.

0:22:28 > 0:22:32You don't have to chase anything, you just find vegetation and eat it.

0:22:32 > 0:22:35- It would be quite relaxed, I think. - Why doesn't anything attack you?

0:22:35 > 0:22:39- Because you're too big.- Would you believe it? I think he's thrown her.

0:22:39 > 0:22:41He's taken her WAY off-piste.

0:22:41 > 0:22:44Epileptic shirts and camels, it's hypnotic!

0:22:46 > 0:22:48Shall I feed you?

0:22:48 > 0:22:52- SHE GIGGLES - Only if you want! Shall I feed you?

0:22:52 > 0:22:55- You want to feed me?- If you want. Do you want us to?- Go on, then.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57Aye? Just for the craic?

0:22:58 > 0:23:01- Right, it's coming. - HE MIMICS AEROPLANE

0:23:01 > 0:23:03Oh, my God!

0:23:05 > 0:23:06I've got make up...!

0:23:07 > 0:23:09There you go.

0:23:09 > 0:23:13- No, I don't trust you.- Right, no, no, pinky square, I'll get it in your mouth this time.

0:23:13 > 0:23:16BOTH LAUGH

0:23:16 > 0:23:20Right, here, quick. One, two, three. Go on, I won't get it on your nose.

0:23:20 > 0:23:22Woah! Stick a fork in her, she's done!

0:23:22 > 0:23:26He just said, "I'll get it in your mouth this time."

0:23:26 > 0:23:29This is the finest British dater we've seen so far.

0:23:29 > 0:23:31But, for every Ben, we have a Matthew.

0:23:31 > 0:23:34The hairy hunk didn't show enough interest in Robyn...

0:23:34 > 0:23:36- Whereabouts are you from?- Oh, wow!

0:23:36 > 0:23:39All this way in and you've not asked me? That's it.

0:23:39 > 0:23:41KLAXON BLARES

0:23:41 > 0:23:44How will you take her home if you don't know where she lives?

0:23:44 > 0:23:47JAMES: '..and was promptly dispatched.'

0:23:47 > 0:23:52If I knew how to, I would teach self-defence kung fu for girls.

0:23:52 > 0:23:57You would do that to someone? Like, kick him on his face?

0:23:57 > 0:23:59Would I kick someone in his face?

0:24:00 > 0:24:03Would you? Wearing high heels?

0:24:06 > 0:24:08Would you not just...bam?!

0:24:09 > 0:24:11Oh, my God, you're dumped!

0:24:11 > 0:24:15- KLAXON BLARES - Oh, man!- No, no.

0:24:15 > 0:24:20When you fly too close to the sun like the famous Nostradamus did, you're going to get burnt.

0:24:20 > 0:24:23Kicking guys in the face with high heels?

0:24:23 > 0:24:26- Not even I could make that line work!- Don't kick a man on the face.

0:24:26 > 0:24:29I think we know how Bentley's going to call this one.

0:24:29 > 0:24:33All right, young man. You talking about fighting around a young lady?

0:24:33 > 0:24:35- That's man talk.- Yeah, it kind of is.

0:24:35 > 0:24:37Man, get your ass up again, man!

0:24:37 > 0:24:39- # Can I kick it? - Yes, you can

0:24:39 > 0:24:41# Can I kick it?... # See you around, Jackie Chan.

0:24:41 > 0:24:44- # Can I kick it? - Yes, you can

0:24:44 > 0:24:47- # Can I kick it? - Yes, you can

0:24:47 > 0:24:49- # Can I kick it? - Yes, you can

0:24:49 > 0:24:51# Well, I'm gone. #

0:24:53 > 0:24:57- I want some of your cream. - You what? Oh, my God!

0:24:57 > 0:24:59THEY LAUGH

0:24:59 > 0:25:00Oh, no!

0:25:00 > 0:25:02Here's some of my cream.

0:25:02 > 0:25:04Is it juicy?

0:25:08 > 0:25:12- Are you ready?- Right, keep a straight face. It's coming.

0:25:12 > 0:25:15Oh! Wait there.

0:25:18 > 0:25:22Mmm, I like that face you pulled when it was coming towards us, like.

0:25:22 > 0:25:24What was that look? You went...

0:25:28 > 0:25:30You are sexy, like.

0:25:30 > 0:25:33KLAXON BLARES

0:25:33 > 0:25:34And the klaxon is sounding.

0:25:34 > 0:25:37That can only mean one thing, it's the end of dating.

0:25:37 > 0:25:41Thank goodness, frankly, because that conversation was becoming a tad racy for my liking.

0:25:41 > 0:25:45Well, that kid Ben finished in style if you ask me. "Cream. Juicy."

0:25:45 > 0:25:48- Yeah.- Oh, "I'm going to get it in your mouth."

0:25:48 > 0:25:51- Yeah, OK, all right, so let's go straight back down...- Woah, woah!

0:25:51 > 0:25:55- You know what, stop a minute there, J-Bone.- Its James.- Everybody, eyes up here, look at me.

0:25:55 > 0:25:57I'm totally aroused. I'm just putting it out there.

0:25:57 > 0:26:01HE CHUCKLES

0:26:01 > 0:26:07OK, let's go straight back to the Date Zone where referee Bentley is about to announce the winner.

0:26:08 > 0:26:14All right, gentlemen, we've come to the end of what can only be described as a classic dating period.

0:26:14 > 0:26:16And I've got to say, at the end of the day,

0:26:16 > 0:26:18it's been a pleasure watching you work.

0:26:18 > 0:26:24Dating is a great spectacle, like ballet or happy hour at Hooters.

0:26:25 > 0:26:29But, there can be only one winner.

0:26:29 > 0:26:31I would love to give you all medals but if I did that,

0:26:31 > 0:26:35then that would make this sport lame and sissy like soccer.

0:26:35 > 0:26:37So, my one winner tonight is...

0:26:55 > 0:26:59- ..Ben.- Cheers.- You the man.

0:26:59 > 0:27:00Can you all give it up for Ben, man?

0:27:00 > 0:27:04APPLAUSE

0:27:04 > 0:27:07That's classic stuff, man. Fantastic.

0:27:08 > 0:27:11JAMES: And as we all expected, confirmation there that Ben

0:27:11 > 0:27:14is tonight's winner with 55,800 points.

0:27:14 > 0:27:17- That should see him safely into the final.- Yeah!

0:27:17 > 0:27:20- Doyle, your final summary for tonight.- Yeah!

0:27:21 > 0:27:22What have we learned tonight?

0:27:22 > 0:27:25We learned that talking about cracks, juicy cream

0:27:25 > 0:27:28and getting stuff in your mouth seems to work on British chicks,

0:27:28 > 0:27:31so I know what I'm doing tonight! Win-win!

0:27:31 > 0:27:35Britain, you have risen to the challenge, and in watching you, hey, I have too.

0:27:35 > 0:27:38OK, so, that's it for this date week,

0:27:38 > 0:27:42but join us next time for more action from the World Series Of Dating.

0:27:42 > 0:27:46Good night from me, Doyle McManus. Date strong, Britain.

0:27:48 > 0:27:52- Please, step back. Just take one step back.- No way.- Please?- Mm-mm.

0:28:13 > 0:28:16Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd