Episode 6

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0:00:02 > 0:00:08This programme contains some strong language

0:00:21 > 0:00:23Hello, and welcome to another night of battle

0:00:23 > 0:00:26from the World Series of Dating. My names is James Chetwyn-Talbot MA,

0:00:26 > 0:00:28and joining me as ever

0:00:28 > 0:00:32is five-time WSOD champion and dating legend Doyle McManus.

0:00:32 > 0:00:35- Hello, James, and hello, Britney. - It's Britain.

0:00:35 > 0:00:38Nope. She was definitely called Britney.

0:00:38 > 0:00:41- Great.- Yeah - Great Britney.

0:00:41 > 0:00:44Doyle, talk us through the rules of tonight's sporting combat.

0:00:44 > 0:00:46The World Series of Dating sees seduction,

0:00:46 > 0:00:49sport and supper smashed into each other. Kaboom!

0:00:49 > 0:00:52In each heat, four guys enter the Date Zone,

0:00:52 > 0:00:55and their mission is to date the lady for as long as they can,

0:00:55 > 0:00:58each second at the table earning him ten points.

0:00:58 > 0:01:00If you want to have sex with me, that's fine.

0:01:00 > 0:01:01You're such an arsehole!

0:01:01 > 0:01:03These guys need to be at the top of their dating game,

0:01:03 > 0:01:07because if these girls are left cold, they will hit the blow-out button.

0:01:08 > 0:01:09Too cheesy.

0:01:09 > 0:01:13Legendary WSOD referee Bentley will make a judgement call on the date.

0:01:13 > 0:01:17For minor dating errors, the guy may get another chance,

0:01:17 > 0:01:19but if a violation has occurred...

0:01:19 > 0:01:20Man, get the hell out of here, man!

0:01:20 > 0:01:23- ..the guy is off the table... - Go ahead, man.

0:01:23 > 0:01:25The winner is the guy who lasted the longest.

0:01:25 > 0:01:29The battle to become UK's greatest living dater has begun. Yeah!

0:01:31 > 0:01:35Let's meet the four terrifying lady daters who'll be gracing the Date Zone tonight.

0:01:35 > 0:01:37First up, it's...

0:01:37 > 0:01:41Ava. 24, originally from Iran.

0:01:41 > 0:01:42Ooh, a Middle Eastern delicacy.

0:01:42 > 0:01:44Iran course was once known as Persia.

0:01:44 > 0:01:48Or Purrrrr-sia. Like a cat!

0:01:48 > 0:01:50This is Charlie - enigmatic and elfin.

0:01:50 > 0:01:54- El-fine.- Just five foot, one inch tall and lives in Wales.

0:01:54 > 0:01:56Little lady, big hair.

0:01:56 > 0:01:58And the third lady on tonight is Becca.

0:01:58 > 0:02:01- Bristol Pretty FC.- Whoa!

0:02:01 > 0:02:04- Incoming bombshell!- Boo, yes.

0:02:04 > 0:02:05A key photographer in her spare time...

0:02:05 > 0:02:09- I'd like to see her flash.- That's vivid.- I'm on fire!- You're on heat.

0:02:09 > 0:02:13Final girl out is 26-year-old Marisa, our Latin lovely.

0:02:13 > 0:02:16- Veni, vidi, vici.- Are those coffee sizes?- No, it's Latin.

0:02:16 > 0:02:19- I came... - Oh, God, that's disgusting.

0:02:19 > 0:02:21Come on, man. Clean it up.

0:02:21 > 0:02:25Let's meet our first four brave men who'll be out there tonight.

0:02:26 > 0:02:29Here is Andrew, 23. A touch of class.

0:02:29 > 0:02:31Loves pheasant, I should imagine.

0:02:31 > 0:02:34I like this guy. He's got a vibe of a young Hugh Grant.

0:02:34 > 0:02:36Let's hope he bags his Liz Hurley tonight.

0:02:36 > 0:02:38- And steers clear of prostitutes!- Wow.

0:02:42 > 0:02:45- Next, it's Michael, 24. A banker. - Hey, I like this guy.

0:02:45 > 0:02:47He's got swagger.

0:02:47 > 0:02:51And finally it's Ross, a red-headed lothario form the North East.

0:02:51 > 0:02:55- I'm thinking...Mick Hucknall. - One of UK's premier daters.

0:02:55 > 0:02:56He's an engineer and enjoys...

0:02:56 > 0:02:59Wait, wait. Mick Hucknall is not an engineer, J.

0:02:59 > 0:03:01He's a very, very sensual man.

0:03:03 > 0:03:04And here's the man with the golden guns...

0:03:04 > 0:03:05GUNSHOTS

0:03:07 > 0:03:08..it's referee Bentley.

0:03:10 > 0:03:15- I'm being told he's actually got some very sad news for us.- Oh, what?

0:03:18 > 0:03:21Gentlemen, welcome to the Date Zone.

0:03:22 > 0:03:25You join us on a sad day for the dating world.

0:03:25 > 0:03:30A legendary dater and five-time World Series Champion Randy Cummings

0:03:30 > 0:03:32died this morning, aged 93.

0:03:34 > 0:03:37I need you guys to join me in a moment of silence

0:03:37 > 0:03:39to remember a great man.

0:03:53 > 0:03:54(SIGHS)

0:03:54 > 0:03:57He dates with the gods now.

0:03:57 > 0:03:59- All right, fellers. - Let's do it for Randy.

0:03:59 > 0:04:01To your dates!

0:04:01 > 0:04:03It's a very sad day.

0:04:03 > 0:04:05Apparently Randy was very much regarded as the father

0:04:05 > 0:04:08of competitive dating, a true master of the game.

0:04:08 > 0:04:13I'm told that he died doing what and indeed who he loved.

0:04:13 > 0:04:16- That's beautiful.- Actually...

0:04:16 > 0:04:18thinking about it,

0:04:18 > 0:04:22I guess that makes our own Doyle the world's number one living dater.

0:04:22 > 0:04:26But anyway, Randy Cummings will always be number one in our hearts.

0:04:26 > 0:04:28Back up a little bit. What did you say?

0:04:28 > 0:04:31I suppose you're now the world's number one.

0:04:31 > 0:04:34I hadn't thought about it, but I guess I am.

0:04:34 > 0:04:36But it's not really the time, is it?

0:04:36 > 0:04:38I guess I am! How about that? Yes!

0:04:38 > 0:04:43OK. I think we should also show our respect with a moment's silence.

0:04:43 > 0:04:46(LAUGHS) I've got to tell you... I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

0:04:46 > 0:04:49I TOLD you this day was coming, Cummings! (LAUGHS)

0:04:49 > 0:04:53You old bastard! Woo!

0:04:53 > 0:04:59Number one! God! Feels good. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

0:04:59 > 0:05:01Randy Cummings, good man.

0:05:01 > 0:05:04But...fuck you.

0:05:04 > 0:05:07Well, that's that ruined. Let's go into the Date Zone.

0:05:09 > 0:05:13- So where are you from, Ava? - I'm from Iran. How about you?

0:05:13 > 0:05:15- You're from where?- Iran.- Yvonne?

0:05:15 > 0:05:18- Iran?- Iran, oh, sorry. - No, don't worry.

0:05:18 > 0:05:22That's very foolish of me. What are you doing in the UK at the moment?

0:05:22 > 0:05:26- I'm just working as a model. - Oh, really?- Yeah.

0:05:26 > 0:05:28- I'm not surprised at all - you're beautiful.- Thank you.

0:05:30 > 0:05:33I'm originally from Winchester, but I studied in Cardiff.

0:05:33 > 0:05:36- You studied in Cardiff? - Where you from?- I'm from Newcastle.

0:05:36 > 0:05:37Newcastle?

0:05:37 > 0:05:40- Me stepmum is from Cardiff. She raves about it.- Really?- Yeah.

0:05:40 > 0:05:42I've been there once or twice,

0:05:42 > 0:05:45but every time I go to Wales it's always raining.

0:05:45 > 0:05:47Yeah, it is always raining.

0:05:48 > 0:05:52What's the ideal way for a guy to get you to go to dinner?

0:05:52 > 0:05:57Someone who's just really...polite

0:05:57 > 0:05:58and quite humble.

0:05:58 > 0:06:03I like it when people are good-looking and they don't know it.

0:06:04 > 0:06:09I don't like speaking to girls who know that they're good-looking.

0:06:09 > 0:06:12It's probably the same. But, erm...

0:06:15 > 0:06:18Sorry, rocket is everywhere in my mouth just now.

0:06:18 > 0:06:20I feel so rude every time I open my mouth.

0:06:20 > 0:06:23So what do you do in your spare time?

0:06:23 > 0:06:26In my spare time I like to play golf,

0:06:26 > 0:06:28which is probably not too interesting.

0:06:28 > 0:06:31- Have you ever played before? - No, just boring for me.

0:06:31 > 0:06:35- It's all about miniature golf, the crazy golf.- No.

0:06:35 > 0:06:37- You never did that, not even when you were a kid?- No.

0:06:37 > 0:06:39I just checked online and can reveal

0:06:39 > 0:06:42there are no crazy golf courses in Tehran.

0:06:42 > 0:06:44Other things it doesn't have

0:06:44 > 0:06:46are Legoland, bouncy castles and Laser Quest.

0:06:46 > 0:06:50- Great research, Doyle. Thanks. - Thank you.

0:06:51 > 0:06:53What do you like a guy to come over and say to you?

0:06:53 > 0:06:54How would he impress you?

0:06:57 > 0:07:00Mmm... Nothing pervy.

0:07:00 > 0:07:02I wouldn't like a chat-up line like,

0:07:02 > 0:07:04"You're the reason for climate change, you're so hot,"

0:07:04 > 0:07:06or something like that.

0:07:06 > 0:07:09- I've not heard that before! - There's been loads.

0:07:09 > 0:07:11Please don't use it because you will get a slap.

0:07:11 > 0:07:14What's the worst one you've used? Have you used one before?

0:07:14 > 0:07:16- I don't use chat-up lines. - You don't?- No.

0:07:16 > 0:07:18What would you say, apart from hello?

0:07:18 > 0:07:21- That isn't allowed to be an answer. - Nice smile.- Nice smile?!

0:07:21 > 0:07:24- Nice smile. Makes you smile when I say it.- Yeah!

0:07:24 > 0:07:28- With it being a nice smile. - Seemed like you're being sarcastic.

0:07:28 > 0:07:30No, because I've got a cherry face.

0:07:30 > 0:07:32I don't think anyone would ever take us for being sarcastic.

0:07:32 > 0:07:35I'd say, "Nice smile, my name's Ross, are you having a good night?"

0:07:35 > 0:07:39- Did you see what happened? - No, I was too busy concentrating on what he was saying.

0:07:39 > 0:07:41Textbook hair play. Let's take another look.

0:07:41 > 0:07:45(IN SLOW MOTION) Seemed like you're being sarcastic.

0:07:45 > 0:07:48Hair touching. That is a tell, a clear flirt.

0:07:48 > 0:07:51I think Ross is going to be there for a while.

0:07:51 > 0:07:53And do you have any idea what Ross said?

0:07:53 > 0:07:55They appear to be words.

0:07:56 > 0:07:58No, I've been on, like, a major diet and stuff.

0:07:58 > 0:08:01Been totally not eating loads of what I used to eat.

0:08:01 > 0:08:04- You're on a diet?- I've lost, like, a stone and a half and stuff.

0:08:04 > 0:08:07- Really?- Yeah, I got totally fat.

0:08:07 > 0:08:09- "I got really fat!" - I did, I got totally fat!

0:08:09 > 0:08:13Totally honest, I did get totally fat.

0:08:13 > 0:08:15Have you got far to go?

0:08:15 > 0:08:17Ooh! Wow!

0:08:17 > 0:08:19Another alpha female down there, Doyle.

0:08:19 > 0:08:24Oh, this is what these girls train for. They are dominating tonight.

0:08:24 > 0:08:28So, Andrew, would you like to do something to impress me?

0:08:28 > 0:08:30I'm getting a little bit bored.

0:08:30 > 0:08:32Don't sugar-coat it for me!

0:08:32 > 0:08:36- I'm trying hard to keep your interest.- Well, you fail so far.

0:08:36 > 0:08:38- I can do the worm. - What is the worm?

0:08:38 > 0:08:41- It's when you do with your body like that.- OK.

0:08:45 > 0:08:47So, probably just like...

0:08:51 > 0:08:52Ow!

0:08:52 > 0:08:54- Ooh.- Ah, ah, ah!

0:08:54 > 0:08:55- I gotta see that again!- Yeah.

0:09:01 > 0:09:04It's great. One right in the goolies!

0:09:04 > 0:09:06He's going to need some ice on those.

0:09:06 > 0:09:09- His balls.- I got that. Yes.

0:09:17 > 0:09:19- Are you bored?- No.- You're not?

0:09:19 > 0:09:22- No, well...- I'm bored.- Really?

0:09:22 > 0:09:23What can we do to change that?

0:09:23 > 0:09:25BUZZER

0:09:25 > 0:09:29There we go! There it is! The first blow-out button of the night.

0:09:29 > 0:09:33Mike is in trouble here. This has yawn star violation written all over it.

0:09:33 > 0:09:36All right, buddy, here's the deal.

0:09:36 > 0:09:37You stand up.

0:09:39 > 0:09:41Hell, you look like you got some swag, man.

0:09:41 > 0:09:45I want to see you swag up that ramp for me, man. Go on, boy, get!

0:09:45 > 0:09:48Swag up that ramp, man!

0:09:48 > 0:09:51Nice call there, Doyle, but it's not terrible news

0:09:51 > 0:09:55because Michael did manage to bank 18,620 points.

0:09:58 > 0:10:01- How would you make your date laugh? - How do I make her laugh?

0:10:01 > 0:10:03Like, naturally.

0:10:03 > 0:10:06When you're on a date, how would you make the girl laugh?

0:10:06 > 0:10:09Would you want someone to tell you jokes and things like that?

0:10:09 > 0:10:12- Yeah, I like a guy who can make me laugh.- OK.

0:10:12 > 0:10:16- I think this is really important. - Yeah?- Very. To me, it comes first.

0:10:16 > 0:10:20Have I turned out to be very unfunny so far?

0:10:21 > 0:10:23That is not a wise question to ask.

0:10:23 > 0:10:24BUZZER

0:10:26 > 0:10:29Potentially a no joke violation here, Doyle.

0:10:29 > 0:10:30Yep, he's just not funny.

0:10:34 > 0:10:36All right, body, you're going to have a bag of tricks.

0:10:36 > 0:10:40Keep pulling out tricks to keep the lady engaged. You haven't done that.

0:10:40 > 0:10:43Get moving, boy!

0:10:54 > 0:10:57Oh, look, Michael's back.

0:10:59 > 0:11:02- I'm Michael. Nice to meet you. - I'm Marisa.- Marisa? My apologies.

0:11:02 > 0:11:05- That's all right.- Do you mind if I join you?- Not at all.- Thanks.

0:11:05 > 0:11:08- What's on your T-shirt?- Just my ex.

0:11:09 > 0:11:13- SHE LAUGHS - That's your ex-girlfriend?- No.

0:11:13 > 0:11:15No, honestly, random T-shirt.

0:11:15 > 0:11:17I actually quite like it. It's quite cool, isn't it?

0:11:17 > 0:11:20I actually, as soon as I put it on, I thought,

0:11:20 > 0:11:23"What if people are offended by it because it's like...?"

0:11:23 > 0:11:25- No. Let me see.- I'll stand up.

0:11:27 > 0:11:30- Yeah, it's quite cool. - There she is. She's pretty.- Yeah.

0:11:32 > 0:11:36And here is Andrew's replacement - it's 21-year-old Winston.

0:11:36 > 0:11:38From what we've seen of Ava tonight, kitty's got claws.

0:11:38 > 0:11:40So he needs to be on his toes.

0:11:40 > 0:11:43So what are your interests, basically? Do you play sports?

0:11:43 > 0:11:46I like swimming, yeah. Sports is one of my favourite...

0:11:46 > 0:11:49- Maybe you should teach me how to swim.- Can you swim?

0:11:49 > 0:11:52I can jump into water and that's the last you'll see me.

0:11:53 > 0:11:56So you can't swim? No? Oh, my God.

0:11:56 > 0:12:00Like, "Can you swim?" "Of course I can swim, beautiful girl, of course I can swim."

0:12:00 > 0:12:03- You go in and... - You don't come out any more!

0:12:03 > 0:12:07- That is the last you see from me! - Yeah, that's quite funny, actually.

0:12:11 > 0:12:13I had to do...

0:12:13 > 0:12:15an audition for the play Grease.

0:12:15 > 0:12:18I got given three or four solos.

0:12:18 > 0:12:20- Have you seen the film Grease?- Yeah.

0:12:20 > 0:12:24I was supposed to sing Beauty School Dropout

0:12:24 > 0:12:26and I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

0:12:28 > 0:12:31Oh, that's a look off. I can see this one coming.

0:12:31 > 0:12:33What would be your tune in karaoke?

0:12:33 > 0:12:36Yeah, he's chugging that stuff down - dead man drinking.

0:12:36 > 0:12:39- I'm going to buzz now. - You're going to buzz?

0:12:39 > 0:12:40BUZZER

0:12:46 > 0:12:50All right, young man. I'm going to need you to get up, man.

0:12:54 > 0:12:57Yeah, that's what I'm saying, yeah!

0:12:57 > 0:13:00That's the second yawn star tonight.

0:13:00 > 0:13:05But a healthy 37,060 points on the board for Ross.

0:13:08 > 0:13:12But one man's failure is another man's opening - Andrew's back.

0:13:16 > 0:13:19- Hi.- Hi there. I'm Andrew, nice to meet you.

0:13:19 > 0:13:20Nice to meet you. I'm Becca.

0:13:22 > 0:13:26- So, Becca, how did your last date go?- He was so boring.

0:13:26 > 0:13:30- He was so boring?- Yeah. - So obviously I've got to try quite hard to impress you, then?- Yes.

0:13:30 > 0:13:33Shit! Right. So this should be interesting.

0:13:33 > 0:13:36- So, Becca, whereabouts are you from?- I'm from Bristol.

0:13:36 > 0:13:41- You're from Bristol.- Yeah.- You don't have a very thick Bristolian accent. - It'll come out.- Will it?- Yeah.

0:13:41 > 0:13:43So, previously, have you ever been...

0:13:43 > 0:13:47Apart from this experience, have you ever been on a speed date before?

0:13:47 > 0:13:51- No way.- No. Not met any Mr Rights so far?

0:13:51 > 0:13:53- Definitely not, no.- That's a shame.

0:13:53 > 0:13:56Well, hopefully maybe I can try and change your opinion.

0:13:56 > 0:13:59If it is someone, hopefully myself...

0:13:59 > 0:14:02Don't know why I said someone...

0:14:02 > 0:14:04You remind me of a cartoon character!

0:14:04 > 0:14:07- Who's the cartoon character? - Don't know!

0:14:07 > 0:14:09- You don't know?- No.

0:14:09 > 0:14:13I'm just trying to be enthusiastic so maybe...

0:14:13 > 0:14:16You sound like you're like...

0:14:16 > 0:14:19- reading from a book or something. - SHE GIGGLES

0:14:19 > 0:14:21Interesting.

0:14:21 > 0:14:24SHE LAUGHS

0:14:24 > 0:14:26- Didn't make my last date laugh that much.- Really?- It was a shame.

0:14:26 > 0:14:28- Who did you...?- I had Ava.

0:14:28 > 0:14:32Tough cookie to crumble, that one.

0:14:32 > 0:14:36I'd far rather glad to be on a date with you right now anyway.

0:14:36 > 0:14:38Oh, that's good.

0:14:45 > 0:14:47What are the chances of me becoming bored?

0:14:47 > 0:14:50- Don't know. Fair to middling. Depends.- OK.

0:14:50 > 0:14:52I don't know anything about you at all,

0:14:52 > 0:14:55so tell me about your upbringing, like, why you're...

0:14:55 > 0:14:59That's boring. Let's have a more exciting conversation. Come on.

0:14:59 > 0:15:02Because I'm really close to buzzing you, and I don't want to.

0:15:02 > 0:15:05- Genuinely? - Yeah, so stop me from doing it.

0:15:05 > 0:15:07How's dating going for you? And I don't mean in this sense,

0:15:07 > 0:15:11- I don't mean in this room or anything.- Rubbish. Next question.

0:15:11 > 0:15:14- Why are you single? - I don't know. Next question.

0:15:14 > 0:15:16- How long have you been single for? - I don't know. Next question.

0:15:22 > 0:15:28Oh, a new contender has thrown his hat into the ring.

0:15:28 > 0:15:29Why do they do that?

0:15:29 > 0:15:32And where do their hats go? And do they even get them back?

0:15:32 > 0:15:35No, I think it's a metaphor.

0:15:35 > 0:15:37What, like, from outer space?

0:15:37 > 0:15:41Next up is Patrick. He's 19 and he's from Northern Ireland.

0:15:43 > 0:15:45- Hello, what's your name? - I'm Patrick. Nice to meet you.

0:15:45 > 0:15:48- And you're Charlie.- Yeah, I am.

0:15:48 > 0:15:51- I'm nervous.- Are you?- Yeah, really nervous.- So be nice to you?

0:15:51 > 0:15:54I've never done anything like this before so everything's totally new to me.

0:15:54 > 0:15:56So what do... Do you live in halls?

0:15:56 > 0:16:00Yeah, I live with three other boys and a girl.

0:16:00 > 0:16:02And there's four blocks all next to each other.

0:16:02 > 0:16:04So it's like 1,000 people something?

0:16:04 > 0:16:06Yeah, there's loads of people.

0:16:06 > 0:16:09But I know so many of them. Most of them.

0:16:09 > 0:16:11I'm staying in halls with 1,000 people as well.

0:16:11 > 0:16:14I've pretty much met everyone when I'm out at some stage.

0:16:14 > 0:16:17There's a girl like it bumping into that I couldn't remember her name.

0:16:17 > 0:16:21- Oh, no.- And every time... - What's my name?

0:16:21 > 0:16:22Charlie.

0:16:22 > 0:16:24SHE LAUGHS

0:16:24 > 0:16:26- Yes.- Oh, my God, you checked!

0:16:26 > 0:16:29I just wanted to make sure because the way you laughed,

0:16:29 > 0:16:32I was like, "Shit, it's not, is it?"

0:16:33 > 0:16:36It's, like, amazing food. It's the best food I've ever had.

0:16:36 > 0:16:40I think it is quite a good vintage wine as well. It's from a good year.

0:16:40 > 0:16:42- Yeah.- Great grape.

0:16:46 > 0:16:50Just get your nose in there. Really get the full aromas.

0:16:50 > 0:16:53I definitely... I can definitely smell

0:16:53 > 0:16:56some sort of Ribena-esque...

0:16:57 > 0:16:58notes coming through.

0:17:06 > 0:17:08That is good wine.

0:17:09 > 0:17:12- Doyle, did you know that Andrew is an oenophile?- Whoa!

0:17:12 > 0:17:15- What the hell? I didn't know this show was like that!- No, no...

0:17:15 > 0:17:18- This is a classy show. - You're not listening.

0:17:18 > 0:17:21He's a wine lover, oenophile.

0:17:21 > 0:17:23Well, I don't know about that. Sounds disgusting.

0:17:26 > 0:17:29You're good so far, but I'm not impressed yet.

0:17:29 > 0:17:32With what? Oh, so what do you want me to do?

0:17:32 > 0:17:34And I forgot your name.

0:17:34 > 0:17:36- My name is Winston.- Winston.

0:17:36 > 0:17:40- And what was my name?- I don't know.

0:17:41 > 0:17:43Hey, love. You never told me.

0:17:48 > 0:17:50Cease dating.

0:17:52 > 0:17:55All right, buddy. You know what?

0:17:55 > 0:17:58I can't believe, man, I almost gave you the nod, man.

0:17:58 > 0:18:00You know what it means for me to give you the nod?

0:18:00 > 0:18:03That means you the pimp, man. Cat daddy!

0:18:03 > 0:18:05You got this dating game in the back of your pocket, man.

0:18:05 > 0:18:08But you about to throw it all away, man.

0:18:08 > 0:18:10You can't remember the lady's name?

0:18:10 > 0:18:13Get yo' ass outta here, man!

0:18:13 > 0:18:16- # Don't you remember... # - That's a Forget She Not violation.

0:18:16 > 0:18:19Learning a lady's name is the first thing to learn in date school.

0:18:19 > 0:18:22The lovely Poppy Weathers is with him now.

0:18:24 > 0:18:30Oh. Sort myself out...before Winston turns up! Hey, Winston.

0:18:30 > 0:18:33- Hey, how are you doing?- I'm all right. I'm concerned about you.

0:18:33 > 0:18:36- But you have a smile on your face. - I always have a smile on my face.

0:18:36 > 0:18:39Good, good. So, she put you through your paces.

0:18:39 > 0:18:43- Oh, yes, she's something else. She's good.- You forgot her name.

0:18:43 > 0:18:45I can't believe you forgot her name.

0:18:45 > 0:18:47- Her name is Ava.- Her name is Ava.

0:18:47 > 0:18:49Say it for me now, five times, very quickly.

0:18:49 > 0:18:51Ava, Ava, Ava, Ava, Ava!

0:18:51 > 0:18:53Good. Don't forget it.

0:18:53 > 0:18:57- OK, get back in there and Win... - I'll win.

0:18:57 > 0:18:59- Hopefully.- ..Ston.

0:19:03 > 0:19:07I was out last night and never got a chance to read the rules.

0:19:07 > 0:19:10- Nearly missed...- You went out last night?- Yeah, the pub golf.

0:19:10 > 0:19:13So, it's a bad decision, going out the night before a date.

0:19:13 > 0:19:16- Yeah, I am really sorry about that. - You will be!

0:19:16 > 0:19:19DOYLE: Heartstopper! Boom!

0:19:21 > 0:19:25This means the lady's not sure about the guy. She wants to test him.

0:19:25 > 0:19:28It could be a physical challenge, could be a mental one.

0:19:28 > 0:19:30- How you doing, young man? - Not too bad.

0:19:30 > 0:19:33I got the language of love for you.

0:19:33 > 0:19:35Some of the greatest love words ever written.

0:19:35 > 0:19:40I need you to read 'em out, make 'em sound really sweet.

0:19:40 > 0:19:41I'll give it a go.

0:19:41 > 0:19:43Three, two, one, go.

0:19:43 > 0:19:46You know we belong together. You and I, for ever and ever.

0:19:46 > 0:19:49No matter where you are, you're my guiding star.

0:19:49 > 0:19:54And from the very first moment I saw you, I never felt such emotion.

0:19:54 > 0:19:57Like walking on air, just to know that you're there.

0:19:57 > 0:20:00Hold me in your arms, don't let me go.

0:20:00 > 0:20:04I want to stay for ever, closer each day, home and away.

0:20:08 > 0:20:12That's moving, man. That was some good stuff.

0:20:12 > 0:20:15- Thank you.- You've got a future in this game, young man.

0:20:15 > 0:20:18- Continue dating.- Cheers.

0:20:18 > 0:20:20Wow, man, that got me here.

0:20:20 > 0:20:23Randy would have liked that.

0:20:23 > 0:20:25Who wrote those words? Shakespeare? Dickens?

0:20:25 > 0:20:29No, it's the theme tune to Home And Away, an Australian soap.

0:20:29 > 0:20:32- Wow, sounds like a powerful show. I've got to see it.- You really don't.

0:20:32 > 0:20:35I think I'm going to challenge you.

0:20:39 > 0:20:43So, it is another heartstopper. I'm told he's getting the flower play.

0:20:43 > 0:20:47Since the beginning of time, the rose has been a symbol of love.

0:20:47 > 0:20:50I want you to hand your date this single red rose,

0:20:51 > 0:20:54and make it real sensual and erotic.

0:20:57 > 0:20:59ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS

0:21:03 > 0:21:07Marisa, this rose is for you.

0:21:07 > 0:21:10I won't get down on one knee.

0:21:10 > 0:21:12But this rose is for you.

0:21:14 > 0:21:16It's a symbol of beauty.

0:21:16 > 0:21:17It's a symbol of love.

0:21:19 > 0:21:20I'm not saying I love you,

0:21:20 > 0:21:23but I feel that I could grow to love you.

0:21:23 > 0:21:25Maybe one day.

0:21:26 > 0:21:30And I would like this rose to represent what could come as well.

0:21:30 > 0:21:33I feel that it represents you very specially, because you're beautiful.

0:21:33 > 0:21:37However, there are some pretty sharp barbs on there, as well.

0:21:37 > 0:21:39And I feel that it suits your personality perfectly.

0:21:39 > 0:21:41Thank you.

0:21:42 > 0:21:44- Thank you.- How did I do, Boss?

0:21:46 > 0:21:48Unbelievable, man. Continue dating.

0:21:52 > 0:21:54Did you put this rose down your pants?

0:21:54 > 0:21:56No, I made as if to, as if it would be funny,

0:21:56 > 0:22:00but I definitely didn't touch... anything with any part of that rose.

0:22:00 > 0:22:03Well, he survived, but this was a shaky start.

0:22:03 > 0:22:08- And potentially very dangerous. He could have cut his winky.- His what?

0:22:08 > 0:22:12- His Wee Willie Winkle.- Ah, his penis!- Don't say it like that.

0:22:12 > 0:22:14It's aggressive.

0:22:14 > 0:22:18- Penis!- Don't, please. Please, please.- PENIS!- Willy.

0:22:18 > 0:22:21- Huh?- Just... His little...- You keep calling it that. It's a PENIS!

0:22:21 > 0:22:24God, my headache's coming on.

0:22:24 > 0:22:27Thunder stick! Meat hammer! Vulcan love whip!

0:22:27 > 0:22:30Big Ted and the boys! Skin chimney!

0:22:32 > 0:22:34I like it when people...

0:22:34 > 0:22:38um...do what I want them to do.

0:22:38 > 0:22:40OK, I'll do it. What do you want?

0:22:40 > 0:22:43- Jumping?- Run to that side and run back 15 times.

0:22:43 > 0:22:4715 times? Are you having a laugh? Well...

0:22:48 > 0:22:50Go on.

0:22:50 > 0:22:52There's only, like, three steps in between. One...

0:22:52 > 0:22:55No, you've got to do little steps.

0:22:55 > 0:22:57- So if I'm going like that?- Yeah.

0:22:57 > 0:23:0215 times. One, two... slower.

0:23:03 > 0:23:06- Slower.- Slower?- Slower.

0:23:09 > 0:23:11- Five.- I'm pretty sure that's six. - Six.

0:23:13 > 0:23:14Seven.

0:23:15 > 0:23:16Eight.

0:23:16 > 0:23:18Nine.

0:23:18 > 0:23:20Ten.

0:23:20 > 0:23:21Three.

0:23:21 > 0:23:23Four, five...

0:23:26 > 0:23:28- Six...- There you go, that's 15.

0:23:28 > 0:23:30High five.

0:23:34 > 0:23:38- You were like holding it back here, high five.- Soz.- Yeah, all right.

0:23:38 > 0:23:42- Thanks for that.- It's all right.- I'm not going to press the button now.

0:23:42 > 0:23:45- At the moment.- Not yet. I'm quite out of breath, actually.- Really?

0:23:45 > 0:23:49- Not really. It's more... - Do you keep fit?

0:23:49 > 0:23:52Yeah. Bloody love the gym.

0:23:52 > 0:23:54Fantastic dating from Lord Andrew there.

0:23:54 > 0:23:58He's been out there a while, and he's doing whatever it takes to stay in play.

0:23:58 > 0:24:01THAT is the mark of a champion.

0:24:01 > 0:24:04- Reminds me of the time I had to furiously pump...- Let's not go there!

0:24:04 > 0:24:06Let go to Marisa's table instead.

0:24:08 > 0:24:10I'm really struggling here.

0:24:10 > 0:24:13Are you having a good time, really?

0:24:13 > 0:24:18If I say no, Marisa, there's only one thing that could come from that.

0:24:18 > 0:24:21- Honestly!- Are you having a good time?- There's no hard feelings between us.

0:24:21 > 0:24:24- Are you having a good time? - It's not personal.- It's not, is it?

0:24:24 > 0:24:27It's not personal at all. Let's agree on that.

0:24:27 > 0:24:29We're friends, aren't we?

0:24:29 > 0:24:32- We're mates. - Let's push the buzzer together.

0:24:32 > 0:24:33No!

0:24:35 > 0:24:38Well, Doyle, I suspect that mutual buzz has just

0:24:38 > 0:24:40sent ripples through the pro-dating community.

0:24:40 > 0:24:44I have never in all my days seen anything like that.

0:24:44 > 0:24:48A dumping pact? That is like shooting yourself in the junk!

0:24:49 > 0:24:52Oh, my God, I blew my balls off!

0:24:52 > 0:24:55- You know what I mean? - Yes, I think so.- Yeah.

0:24:55 > 0:24:58Hit the road, Jack, and don't you come back.

0:24:58 > 0:25:02# No mo' no mo', no mo', no mo'... #

0:25:02 > 0:25:04What are you still there, boy? Get yo' ass up!

0:25:07 > 0:25:10Oh, we are through the looking glass here, people.

0:25:14 > 0:25:17Even the officials don't know what that violation was.

0:25:17 > 0:25:20Perhaps Poppy can make some sense of this mess.

0:25:20 > 0:25:22You survived, just about.

0:25:22 > 0:25:26- The flower play? - Yeah, there and thereabouts.

0:25:26 > 0:25:31- I got past that.- Until you...? - Not much further after that.- No.

0:25:31 > 0:25:35- She is thornier than most ladies. - Oh, she'll cut you.

0:25:35 > 0:25:39If you were to fall in that bush, you would be minced.

0:25:41 > 0:25:45It is very late in the game, but here comes Winston once more.

0:25:45 > 0:25:48# I'm on a highway to hell... #

0:25:50 > 0:25:54- How are you, Marisa? I'm Winston. Nice to meet you.- Nice to meet you.

0:25:54 > 0:25:57- Are you all right? - I'm fine, very fine.

0:25:57 > 0:26:00- My name's Winston. - Winston?- Winston, yeah.

0:26:00 > 0:26:05- Where have you got that American accent from?- From America.

0:26:06 > 0:26:10- Yeah, obviously, but where from? - Boston.- OK.

0:26:10 > 0:26:13I just... Should I start trying to impress you?

0:26:13 > 0:26:16- What's your best talent? - I can sing.

0:26:16 > 0:26:18- You can sing? - A little bit, yeah.- OK.

0:26:18 > 0:26:20- I would love to sing for you. - Go on, then.

0:26:23 > 0:26:25Oh, no!

0:26:25 > 0:26:29Tragically, it looks like we'll never get to hear Winston's beautiful singing voice.

0:26:29 > 0:26:31Sadly, that signals the end of tonight's dating.

0:26:31 > 0:26:33Who has managed to amass the most points?

0:26:33 > 0:26:35Only Bentley holds the answer.

0:26:38 > 0:26:40All right, fellas.

0:26:40 > 0:26:45You young soldiers have been a credit to the dating community on this sad day.

0:26:45 > 0:26:47Old Randy would have been proud.

0:26:47 > 0:26:50And as we say goodbye to one champion dater,

0:26:50 > 0:26:53the time has come to honour one for the future.

0:26:55 > 0:26:57The winner is...

0:27:04 > 0:27:06..Andrew.

0:27:06 > 0:27:08Yes! Yes.

0:27:13 > 0:27:15Bloody love the gym.

0:27:15 > 0:27:18Irrefutable confirmation that Andrew takes tonight's prize.

0:27:18 > 0:27:20Plus probably a place in the final

0:27:20 > 0:27:22with a very respectable 47,100 points.

0:27:25 > 0:27:27Doyle, your final thoughts on what we've seen tonight?

0:27:32 > 0:27:37Randy's passing has tragically been marked by a weird evening of dating.

0:27:37 > 0:27:39We've seen a man buzz himself out.

0:27:39 > 0:27:41We've seen a member of your Royal Family perform the worm.

0:27:41 > 0:27:43He's not the Royal Family - he's just posh.

0:27:43 > 0:27:46Shh. Daddy's talking to the people.

0:27:46 > 0:27:51But even more important than any of that, I, Doyle McManus,

0:27:51 > 0:27:54am now the world's greatest living dater, and I just want to say:

0:27:54 > 0:27:57suck it, Cummings! Yeah!