0:00:02 > 0:00:05The following show is full of fools doing foolish things.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07Although nobody involved was seriously hurt,
0:00:07 > 0:00:11you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.
0:00:13 > 0:00:16Mr T is on a special mission.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18He's been searching far and wide,
0:00:18 > 0:00:22assembling an army of extraordinary individuals.
0:00:22 > 0:00:27People who boldly venture where others fear to tread,
0:00:27 > 0:00:30people who dare to do things differently.
0:00:30 > 0:00:36People who aren't afraid to ask questions like, "Can I fit in that?"
0:00:36 > 0:00:41"What's through that door?" And, "Do I really need a parachute?"
0:00:41 > 0:00:45He's found the stupidest, clumsiest, most dangerous people on the planet.
0:00:45 > 0:00:49He's found the world's craziest fools.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54Hey, you. Shut up!
0:00:54 > 0:00:57If you weren't talking, shut up anyway.
0:00:57 > 0:01:00My name is Mr T and you're watching my show.
0:01:00 > 0:01:02Today we got fools wrestling snakes,
0:01:02 > 0:01:05we got fools falling off ladders.
0:01:05 > 0:01:08We got fools going one on one with nature and losing.
0:01:08 > 0:01:12We got all kind of crazy stuff. First, this thing is happening.
0:01:16 > 0:01:18Fools walking into stuff.
0:01:18 > 0:01:21Some days you feel like it's you against the world.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Here's some days when the world won.
0:01:24 > 0:01:27Check out this guy. He's late for a meeting.
0:01:34 > 0:01:35Boom!
0:01:36 > 0:01:38Don't worry about it.
0:01:38 > 0:01:40Take off that shirt, go into that meeting
0:01:40 > 0:01:43and give the best presentation you've ever given in your life.
0:01:43 > 0:01:46And then ask for a pay raise.
0:01:48 > 0:01:51This is CCTV from a shop in Canada.
0:01:57 > 0:01:59That's a lesson for you all.
0:01:59 > 0:02:03Just because something is pink, don't mean it can't kick your butt.
0:02:07 > 0:02:10An electronics shop in America.
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Watch out for that woman in the top left hand corner.
0:02:16 > 0:02:20Don't mess with windows. They don't care about your feelings.
0:02:20 > 0:02:22They are selfish and mean.
0:02:27 > 0:02:30Keep your eye on the door on the right.
0:02:32 > 0:02:37It's not a door. You just made the same mistake he did. Suckers!
0:02:37 > 0:02:39See how easy it is?
0:02:44 > 0:02:48At last, here's a guy who listened to Mr T.
0:02:56 > 0:02:58That's right. Always use your head.
0:02:59 > 0:03:01Boom!
0:03:09 > 0:03:12Now take a look at these fools.
0:03:12 > 0:03:16MUSIC: "Mama Said Knock You Out" by LL Cool J
0:04:10 > 0:04:13Next time you're walking down a street, keep your eyes and ears open.
0:04:13 > 0:04:16I don't want to see you getting hurt.
0:04:16 > 0:04:18If I find out you went and got yourself hurt,
0:04:18 > 0:04:21I will hunt you down and hurt you myself.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32A lot of people go around talking about dumb animals.
0:04:32 > 0:04:36What they don't know is, a lot of animals go around talking about dumb people.
0:04:36 > 0:04:39Here's why.
0:04:39 > 0:04:41She's a wonderful critter...
0:04:41 > 0:04:43Australia. This guy's about to take on a spider.
0:04:43 > 0:04:46..they move lightning fast, that's how they catch their prey.
0:04:46 > 0:04:50I'll try to catch her with my best spider sensor, this food container.
0:04:50 > 0:04:54- Can you see Daddy and spider? - Yeah, I can.- OK.
0:04:55 > 0:04:57Daddy, careful.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01Decided to get a bigger container
0:05:01 > 0:05:05because of the size of this one. I'll have to be really quick.
0:05:09 > 0:05:11CHILD SCREAMS
0:05:15 > 0:05:17Here's a tip.
0:05:17 > 0:05:20Never mess with something with four times as many legs as you.
0:05:20 > 0:05:21That's just basic math!
0:05:23 > 0:05:26Chengdu Zoo in China.
0:05:26 > 0:05:29This guy is about to show us
0:05:29 > 0:05:32why you shouldn't stand too close to the panda cage.
0:05:49 > 0:05:52That's a nice jacket.
0:05:52 > 0:05:56This panda's going to be the best dressed animal in the zoo.
0:05:57 > 0:05:59Check this out.
0:06:06 > 0:06:10You know what this guy's problem is? He's too sexy.
0:06:10 > 0:06:15He's driving those monkeys wild with his sexiness.
0:06:15 > 0:06:17They can't help themselves!
0:06:17 > 0:06:20If you're this sexy, don't go to the zoo.
0:06:25 > 0:06:27Now take a look at this fool.
0:06:39 > 0:06:41The lesson here, always be vigilant.
0:06:41 > 0:06:44You never know where an attack is coming from.
0:06:50 > 0:06:52Welcome to the USA.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02MAN: No, I don't know about that...
0:07:02 > 0:07:05Oh. Oh!
0:07:05 > 0:07:07THEY LAUGH
0:07:07 > 0:07:09No, I don't know about that...
0:07:11 > 0:07:13I pity the fool!
0:07:15 > 0:07:17What's going on here?!
0:07:27 > 0:07:29This is all kinds of wrong.
0:07:33 > 0:07:35Let's look at this again.
0:07:44 > 0:07:47Here's what happens if you get too close to a horse's butt.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53You end up looking like a horse's butt.
0:07:53 > 0:07:57Those horse shoes don't seem too lucky now, do they? Sucker!
0:08:01 > 0:08:04Now you know what happens when you go messing with wild animals.
0:08:04 > 0:08:09But I've got news for you. Keeping them as pets ain't good either.
0:08:09 > 0:08:11Now listen to this real-life police call.
0:08:53 > 0:08:56I'm just driving along having a nice day out.
0:08:56 > 0:09:00Oh, no, what's happening? I left the handbrake off. Boom!
0:09:00 > 0:09:03You just witnessed an example of how an accident happens.
0:09:03 > 0:09:07Here's a bunch of people who left their handbrakes off. Take a look.
0:09:13 > 0:09:17Mexico. This guy pulled up to a store.
0:09:17 > 0:09:22Maybe he wants to buy himself a certain delicious chocolate bar with nuts in it.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24MUSIC: "Forget You" by Cee-Lo Green
0:09:44 > 0:09:48He's thinking, "Where did my truck go? Where did I leave it again?"
0:09:51 > 0:09:53"Maybe I left it inside the shop!"
0:09:56 > 0:10:00"Inside or outside, I wish I could remember where I parked it."
0:10:02 > 0:10:05An underground parking garage.
0:10:08 > 0:10:10Here's a curious guy.
0:10:10 > 0:10:13He wants to see if he can park his car, buy a ticket
0:10:13 > 0:10:15and open the parking gate at the same time.
0:10:26 > 0:10:27He can't.
0:10:33 > 0:10:36This teacher forgot to put his handbrake on
0:10:36 > 0:10:38and ended up chasing his BMW down a hill.
0:10:38 > 0:10:40Get in, get in, get in, get it, get it!
0:10:46 > 0:10:48Chasing a car is a great way to exercise.
0:10:48 > 0:10:52Exercise is important to keep your body healthy and toned.
0:10:52 > 0:10:55I do 3,000 press-ups a day, then I have breakfast.
0:10:57 > 0:11:00Things are pretty slow round here.
0:11:00 > 0:11:02It must be boring being the security guard,
0:11:02 > 0:11:06sitting around watching CCTV all day.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09That's why this nice driver has decided to liven things up a bit.
0:11:27 > 0:11:30It's important to make people laugh.
0:11:30 > 0:11:34I employ seven people to keep me entertained with jokes on a daily basis.
0:11:34 > 0:11:37That's why I'm always in a such good mood.
0:11:37 > 0:11:38MR T LAUGHS
0:11:43 > 0:11:46This bus driver forgot to put his handbrake on,
0:11:46 > 0:11:48then got his arm stuck in the door.
0:11:48 > 0:11:52It's a nice try, but there are only two people in the world
0:11:52 > 0:11:54who can stop a runaway bus.
0:11:54 > 0:11:55And I'm both of 'em.
0:11:57 > 0:11:59South Africa.
0:11:59 > 0:12:02In this showroom, someone's just about to buy a brand-new vehicle.
0:12:10 > 0:12:13Before you sign on the dotted line,
0:12:13 > 0:12:15I recommend not signing on the dotted line.
0:12:19 > 0:12:23You might want to buy a car that comes with a handbrake instead.
0:12:28 > 0:12:32This lady parked up and is off to do some shopping.
0:12:34 > 0:12:36Let's see. Hmm...
0:12:36 > 0:12:39Milk, eggs, washing up liquid...
0:12:39 > 0:12:43Oh! You'd better get a brand-new car while you're at it.
0:12:49 > 0:12:53Also get me some chicken, I'm hungry.
0:12:57 > 0:13:00England.
0:13:00 > 0:13:02This lady is stuck in the snow.
0:13:02 > 0:13:05She gets out of her car to push but ends up losing control.
0:13:05 > 0:13:10She's an idiot. She's left her car in gear, and she comes out.
0:13:13 > 0:13:14It's about to hit the house.
0:13:16 > 0:13:18Oh, my God!
0:13:18 > 0:13:20What a fool!
0:13:23 > 0:13:27Welcome to Russia. Something exciting is about to go down.
0:13:40 > 0:13:42This is what happened when it snowed.
0:13:42 > 0:13:47If it snows, I recommend that you stay indoors and watch The A-Team.
0:13:49 > 0:13:54This mailman in America pulls up to a gas station and forgets to put his handbrake on.
0:14:02 > 0:14:05The van rolls straight onto a busy highway.
0:14:07 > 0:14:12Then, amazingly, it rolls straight back around again.
0:14:14 > 0:14:16Right back into place.
0:14:22 > 0:14:25Someone better give that van a promotion.
0:14:25 > 0:14:26Also, give it a raise.
0:14:26 > 0:14:29Whatever that van's earning, double it!
0:14:31 > 0:14:33Now take a listen to this phone call.
0:15:19 > 0:15:25I once got locked in a car with nothing but two coathangers, and my furry dice and a blow torch.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28I built a helicopter and flew my way out!
0:15:33 > 0:15:37A lot of people drink to forget. Well, I got news for you. No matter
0:15:37 > 0:15:41how much you drink, you'll never forget doing stupid stuff like this.
0:15:43 > 0:15:45Here's a guy who had too much beer.
0:15:48 > 0:15:50He's attempting to buy MORE beer.
0:15:54 > 0:15:57He really doesn't need any more beer.
0:16:11 > 0:16:16Luckily for him, his legs and his arms are aware of the problem.
0:16:16 > 0:16:21They're doing everything they can to prevent him from getting more beer.
0:16:28 > 0:16:32The human body is a wonderful thing. It never ceases to amaze me.
0:16:38 > 0:16:43Most people go for a drink AFTER work. But this guy in Poland is trying a different approach.
0:16:43 > 0:16:47He's seeing what it's like to have a few drinks BEFORE he goes to work.
0:16:47 > 0:16:50LAUGHTER
0:16:56 > 0:17:01I could have told him what it's like! It's like all kinda stupid.
0:17:01 > 0:17:02If you have a job, it's important,
0:17:02 > 0:17:05so he shouldn't be going to work drunk,
0:17:05 > 0:17:06he should be going to work alert.
0:17:11 > 0:17:15Here's a guy who's dressed as Santa Claus. He's drunk and he's out of control.
0:17:18 > 0:17:20Boom!
0:17:29 > 0:17:34It could be worse. He could be out on his sleigh, posing a dangerous hazard to people in the sky.
0:17:44 > 0:17:48What do you call two drunk Russians rolling around in the mud?
0:17:51 > 0:17:54I call it friendship. It's a beautiful thing.
0:17:54 > 0:17:57I could watch this for hours.
0:18:16 > 0:18:19I've seen enough. End this.
0:18:19 > 0:18:24Is there a quicker way to put on your helmet than the traditional method?
0:18:28 > 0:18:31This Ukrainian guy is trying to find out.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42It might be time to give up now.
0:18:42 > 0:18:44I don't think that breakthrough is coming.
0:18:44 > 0:18:46Take a look at this drunk guy.
0:18:46 > 0:18:51He's trying to put his trousers on where his shirt should be.
0:18:53 > 0:18:57LAUGHTER
0:18:57 > 0:18:59They're laughing at him. But so what?
0:18:59 > 0:19:03They laughed at Columbus when he said the Earth was round.
0:19:03 > 0:19:07In 100 years' time, we might ALL be wearing our trousers on our arms.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16Here's a couple of drunk ladies taking it out on each other with their handbags.
0:19:26 > 0:19:29It's good to get grievances off your chest,
0:19:29 > 0:19:32but make sure you stay in control.
0:19:32 > 0:19:34Anger - use it, but don't lose it.
0:19:37 > 0:19:39Up next, this.
0:19:39 > 0:19:43Hello there, mate.
0:19:45 > 0:19:47No good? Too much drinking!
0:19:47 > 0:19:51LAUGHTER
0:19:51 > 0:19:52Too much drinking, eh?
0:19:52 > 0:19:54Oh, whoa! Whoa!
0:19:56 > 0:19:58LAUGHTER
0:19:58 > 0:20:01How do you test the strength of a fence?
0:20:01 > 0:20:05This drunken Australian guy knows exactly how.
0:20:08 > 0:20:10LAUGHTER
0:20:10 > 0:20:14Now we know exactly how strong it is!
0:20:14 > 0:20:17Not quite strong enough to lean on.
0:20:17 > 0:20:21THEY SCREAM WITH LAUGHTER
0:20:21 > 0:20:24That was exciting. What's next?
0:20:30 > 0:20:33In my time, I've been a wrestler,
0:20:33 > 0:20:39a soldier, a bouncer, a bodyguard, a television and a film actor.
0:20:39 > 0:20:41I know work can be tough.
0:20:41 > 0:20:47This section, in honour of good men and women who keep on going, no matter what stands in their way.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49# Sometimes there's gonna be days like this... #
0:20:49 > 0:20:54Italy. This guy has been called to repair a surveillance camera.
0:20:57 > 0:21:00Well, the camera works!
0:21:00 > 0:21:04This man had just made sure his moment has been recorded in history.
0:21:08 > 0:21:12This guy is trying to get some boxes out of a truck.
0:21:15 > 0:21:18The boxes are now out of the truck.
0:21:18 > 0:21:21I can't imagine a way to get them out of the truck quicker.
0:21:21 > 0:21:24This was a successful truck-emptying mission.
0:21:24 > 0:21:27What's going on here?
0:21:31 > 0:21:34I'm going to assume these guys were hired
0:21:34 > 0:21:38to knock down those two glass doors at the front of the building.
0:21:38 > 0:21:44Having made that assumption, I would say these guys have done a pretty good job.
0:21:49 > 0:21:54Mexico, and this cleaner's taking a new approach to washing automatic doors.
0:21:59 > 0:22:02LAUGHTER
0:22:04 > 0:22:09Now, those guys filming her are laughing, but I think she's a genius. Why do all the work?
0:22:09 > 0:22:13Just hold them up still and make the doors work for you.
0:22:37 > 0:22:40Next up, Texas.
0:22:52 > 0:22:56Now we don't have to strain ourselves reaching for those top-shelf items.
0:22:56 > 0:22:59We can just pick them right off the floor!
0:23:05 > 0:23:10These guys have just spent hours loading all those trolleys onto the back of a truck.
0:23:21 > 0:23:25Now we know why the wheels on those things are always messed up!
0:23:33 > 0:23:36Locker rooms can be boring.
0:23:36 > 0:23:37Here's how to make them fun.
0:23:48 > 0:23:53I love dominoes. It's a great way to make boring afternoons fly by.
0:24:04 > 0:24:06You're looking at a supermarket.
0:24:12 > 0:24:15Don't worry, this lady won't be defeated.
0:24:15 > 0:24:17She'll learn from this and come back stronger.
0:24:22 > 0:24:27These glass doors aren't opening properly, so along come a couple of guys to try to fix it.
0:24:35 > 0:24:37That did it.
0:24:41 > 0:24:43Ain't no problem getting in and out now!
0:24:49 > 0:24:51Next up, this happens.
0:24:51 > 0:24:53Just cut it. Just cut it.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Come on now.
0:24:57 > 0:24:59- You better get that rope!- Ah!
0:25:02 > 0:25:05I'm not sure what this guy is trying to accomplish.
0:25:05 > 0:25:08But if it's falling, then this is a win.
0:25:10 > 0:25:12Now listen to this true story.
0:25:16 > 0:25:21A Hong Kong man aged 50 entered the accident and emergency department
0:25:21 > 0:25:24at a hospital complaining of abdominal pain.
0:25:24 > 0:25:28Wondering what had caused this problem, doctors ordered an X-ray
0:25:28 > 0:25:33and spotted what appeared to be an eel inside his colon.
0:25:33 > 0:25:37Yes, the man admitted, there was an eel inside him.
0:25:37 > 0:25:39He'd been suffering from constipation,
0:25:39 > 0:25:41he told the dubious medical staff,
0:25:41 > 0:25:45and thought that inserting an eel into his rectum would relieve it.
0:25:45 > 0:25:49The man was rushed to the operating room where an emergency proctoscopy
0:25:49 > 0:25:54disclosed that a 50cm eel was biting the side of his colon.
0:25:54 > 0:25:59The eel had also taken a bite out of his rectal wall in transit.
0:25:59 > 0:26:03After surgeons removed the animal and reconstructed his rectum,
0:26:03 > 0:26:06the man's pain was cured.
0:26:06 > 0:26:11Also, he discovered that he was no longer constipated. Hurrah.
0:26:13 > 0:26:14Now watch this!
0:26:22 > 0:26:24Number one.
0:26:24 > 0:26:26A baseball.
0:26:26 > 0:26:31I think that's gone into the foul zone.
0:26:31 > 0:26:34Number two.
0:26:34 > 0:26:38A rolled up copy of Church Times magazine.
0:26:38 > 0:26:40Get thee behind me, Satan!
0:26:40 > 0:26:42Number three.
0:26:42 > 0:26:46A bottle of Mrs Butterworth's delicious syrup.
0:26:46 > 0:26:49It goes well with chocolate pancakes.
0:26:49 > 0:26:51Number four.
0:26:51 > 0:26:54A pair of reading glasses.
0:26:54 > 0:26:57Whatever they were looking for, I hope they found it.
0:26:58 > 0:27:02Number five. A lightbulb. Whose bright idea was that?
0:27:04 > 0:27:07That's it, the show's over.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11I know it makes you sad, but guess what! It's OK to cry.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13Real men aren't afraid to show their tears.
0:27:13 > 0:27:17Like my mother always said, never trust a man who don't cry.
0:27:17 > 0:27:18See you next time.
0:27:18 > 0:27:20So long, suckers!
0:27:22 > 0:27:24# I pity the fool
0:27:27 > 0:27:31# I said I pity the fool
0:27:33 > 0:27:36# Mmm, I pity the fool
0:27:39 > 0:27:43# I said I pity the fool
0:27:46 > 0:27:50# That falls in love with you
0:27:50 > 0:27:54# And expects you to be true Oh, I pity the fool
0:27:57 > 0:27:59# Look at the people
0:28:01 > 0:28:04# I know you're wondering what they're doing
0:28:04 > 0:28:06# They're just standing there
0:28:06 > 0:28:08# Watching you make a fool of me... #
0:28:08 > 0:28:10Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:10 > 0:28:12E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk