0:00:02 > 0:00:05The following show is full of fools doing very foolish things.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Although nobody involved was seriously hurt,
0:00:08 > 0:00:12you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.
0:00:13 > 0:00:18Mr T is on a special mission. He's been searching far and wide,
0:00:18 > 0:00:23assembling an army of extraordinary individuals -
0:00:23 > 0:00:27people who boldly venture where others fear to tread,
0:00:27 > 0:00:30people who dare to do things differently.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35People who aren't afraid to ask questions like, "Can I fit in that?"
0:00:35 > 0:00:41"What's through that door?" and, "Do I REALLY need a parachute?"
0:00:41 > 0:00:45He's found the stupidest, clumsiest, most dangerous people on the planet.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48He's found the World's Craziest Fools.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54CLASSICAL MUSIC
0:00:54 > 0:00:56RECORD RIPS
0:00:56 > 0:00:59If you looking for some nice, safe television, then this ain't it.
0:00:59 > 0:01:02In fact, things are going to get pretty mean around here.
0:01:02 > 0:01:06We got fools with chainsaws, we got fools breaking the law,
0:01:06 > 0:01:09we got karate fools with fists flying,
0:01:09 > 0:01:13and feet jumping all over the place. Do you think you can handle it?
0:01:13 > 0:01:14Do you think you can handle me?
0:01:14 > 0:01:19Good. Cos this is BBC Three, the toughest channel on television.
0:01:21 > 0:01:25RECORD RIPS AND CLASSICAL MUSIC RESUMES
0:01:38 > 0:01:42Humans can't fly yet, but one day they will.
0:01:42 > 0:01:45And when mankind achieves the power of flight,
0:01:45 > 0:01:49these people will be seen as brave pioneers. Play the clips!
0:01:51 > 0:01:54Russia. They don't get BBC Three in Russia,
0:01:54 > 0:01:57so the kids there have to make their own entertainment.
0:01:57 > 0:02:00On your marks. One, two...
0:02:00 > 0:02:03SHE SCREAMS
0:02:03 > 0:02:06MUSIC: "Jump" by Flo Rida and Nelly Furtado
0:02:15 > 0:02:20Woo-hoo! Who needs TV anyhow, when you can bungee off a building?
0:02:24 > 0:02:25A game of basketball.
0:02:28 > 0:02:31This guy's not just happy putting a ball through the hoops,
0:02:31 > 0:02:32he want to put himself through.
0:02:35 > 0:02:38Now that's a jump shot!
0:02:45 > 0:02:47Look at this beautiful scene.
0:02:47 > 0:02:49< He's not stopping.
0:02:52 > 0:02:56< Oh-ho! Ow!
0:02:57 > 0:02:59Sometimes we reach too far,
0:02:59 > 0:03:02but if it wasn't for guys like this trying,
0:03:02 > 0:03:05we would never have achieved amazing stuff.
0:03:05 > 0:03:08Like landing on the moon or inventing cheese.
0:03:11 > 0:03:13What's going on over here?
0:03:13 > 0:03:16Looks like another guy invented a new sport.
0:03:20 > 0:03:23I don't know what the rules are. Did this guy win?
0:03:28 > 0:03:32I just made myself a referee - and I say he didn't.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35LAUGHTER Oh, my God!
0:03:36 > 0:03:38Is your back all right?
0:03:39 > 0:03:41Now take a look at this fool.
0:03:50 > 0:03:53What happened? I took a sip of apple juice and missed it.
0:03:53 > 0:03:58Why is there a hole in the roof? Did somebody jump through the roof?
0:03:58 > 0:04:01Why did they go do a thing like that?
0:04:01 > 0:04:04Here's another guy on a roof.
0:04:12 > 0:04:15Why is all these people throwing themselves off roofs?
0:04:15 > 0:04:19What's wrong with walking up to your neighbour's door and ringing the bell?
0:04:22 > 0:04:24And another one.
0:04:27 > 0:04:31OK, look people, this jumping off the roof thing's
0:04:31 > 0:04:33not really not working out. Let's call it a day.
0:04:36 > 0:04:38What's worse than jumping off a roof?
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Jumping out of a plane!
0:04:45 > 0:04:49Parachuting is an outdoor sport, don't try to take it indoors.
0:04:51 > 0:04:53Next up, this happens.
0:04:53 > 0:04:54Argh!
0:04:54 > 0:04:55Boom!
0:04:58 > 0:05:03- Argh!- These two should reconsider their friendship.
0:05:03 > 0:05:07They're not adding anything to each other's lives.
0:05:07 > 0:05:09Don't jump, fool!
0:05:12 > 0:05:14Why don't these people listen to me?
0:05:19 > 0:05:22Let's hope he's not too sore in the morning.
0:05:23 > 0:05:28This guy's trying to see if gravity still works in the Ukraine.
0:05:30 > 0:05:31It does.
0:05:40 > 0:05:41What a fool!
0:05:42 > 0:05:46Remember, people - only chumps do big jumps.
0:05:51 > 0:05:54I want to talk to you about car washes.
0:05:54 > 0:05:56You may think you don't need to know about car washes,
0:05:56 > 0:05:58but you are wrong.
0:05:58 > 0:06:01They are mean, they are dangerous, and they can strike at any time.
0:06:01 > 0:06:05If you want to be safe, listen to my rules for car wash fools.
0:06:06 > 0:06:09Rule number one, keep your foot away from the accelerator.
0:06:17 > 0:06:21In a car wash, brakes are good, accelerators - not good.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31Rule number two, stay calm, remain patient, wait your turn.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Boom!
0:06:42 > 0:06:46The message here, don't mess with this guy!
0:06:52 > 0:06:56Rule number three, don't open your door in the middle of a car wash!
0:07:04 > 0:07:08Doors need to be closed at all times.
0:07:09 > 0:07:12Rule number four, see rule number three.
0:07:13 > 0:07:16MUSIC: "Here It Goes Again" by OK Go
0:07:40 > 0:07:43Rule number five, make sure you know
0:07:43 > 0:07:46which end is the entrance and which end is the exit.
0:07:53 > 0:07:56If you find your car has punched another car in the face,
0:07:56 > 0:07:59you know you're probably going the wrong way.
0:08:02 > 0:08:06Rule number six, don't wash inside your car with a power hose,
0:08:06 > 0:08:09not if you like your electrics.
0:08:10 > 0:08:12MUSIC: "Rollin'" by Chamillionaire
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Rule number seven,
0:08:30 > 0:08:36bath time and car wash time are two separate times. They should not mix.
0:08:38 > 0:08:40< Get out the car wash.
0:08:51 > 0:08:53Here it comes.
0:08:54 > 0:08:57Argh! That was burning!
0:08:57 > 0:09:00< "That was burning!"
0:09:00 > 0:09:05Rule number eight, remember the rule about keeping your door shut?
0:09:05 > 0:09:07The same goes about windows.
0:09:09 > 0:09:12Joe, the...
0:09:12 > 0:09:15MANIC LAUGHTER
0:09:32 > 0:09:35Yeah! No, no, no, no, no.
0:09:35 > 0:09:37It's going to come in now. Oh, my God!
0:09:37 > 0:09:40MANIC LAUGHTER
0:09:40 > 0:09:44Oh, my God. Yo!
0:09:58 > 0:10:00Oh, my God!
0:10:00 > 0:10:05Rule nine, before you hit the road, check to see if your brakes work.
0:10:10 > 0:10:11Error!
0:10:13 > 0:10:16There we go. Follow those simple rules
0:10:16 > 0:10:20and you should stay safe the next time you go to a car wash.
0:10:20 > 0:10:22Or don't go to a car wash -
0:10:22 > 0:10:25get a bucket and a sponge and wash your car yourself,
0:10:25 > 0:10:27you lazy fool!
0:10:27 > 0:10:30Now, quit your jibber-jabber and listen to this.
0:10:30 > 0:10:34PHONE DIALLING TONE
0:11:34 > 0:11:35I pity that lady.
0:11:35 > 0:11:38When I'm hungry, nobody stands between me and my food,
0:11:38 > 0:11:40and I'm always hungry.
0:11:40 > 0:11:46You, give me some chicken. It's feeding time. Yum! Yum...
0:11:52 > 0:11:55MUSIC: "Right Round" by Flo Rida and Keha
0:13:25 > 0:13:28MUSIC: "Too Many Man" by Boy Better Know
0:13:41 > 0:13:44HE SCREAMS AGONISINGLY
0:14:05 > 0:14:07Yeah. Oh, BLEEP!
0:14:33 > 0:14:37Back in the '80s, I invented something called karate -
0:14:37 > 0:14:38Hoo-ha!
0:14:38 > 0:14:41You may have heard of it, it spread around the world.
0:14:41 > 0:14:44Despite its success, not everyone has got the hang of it.
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Take a look at these fools, bless them for trying.
0:14:55 > 0:14:59You want me to show you tough, I'll show you tough.
0:14:59 > 0:15:00Hai! Hai!
0:15:00 > 0:15:02Hai! Hai...
0:15:03 > 0:15:05Hai...
0:15:05 > 0:15:06Hai...
0:15:08 > 0:15:10Hai! Hai!
0:15:10 > 0:15:12Hai! Hai! Hai...
0:15:13 > 0:15:14I never lose!
0:15:26 > 0:15:28I hope you like pain!
0:15:29 > 0:15:30Ay!
0:15:30 > 0:15:32Ay!
0:15:32 > 0:15:34Ay!
0:15:34 > 0:15:36Ay...
0:15:37 > 0:15:40- You OK?- No, I'm good, I'm...
0:15:47 > 0:15:48John, are you OK?
0:15:48 > 0:15:51You guys want to see something?
0:15:51 > 0:15:53Hwooah!
0:15:53 > 0:15:55Urgh!
0:15:55 > 0:15:56Ah!
0:15:56 > 0:15:57Uh!
0:16:02 > 0:16:04You guys are going to like this one.
0:16:13 > 0:16:14Enough of that.
0:16:14 > 0:16:17When you can't hurt an apple, you know it's time to give up.
0:16:19 > 0:16:21Now, listen to this true story.
0:16:25 > 0:16:29Five Mexican thieves who broke into a house in Florida
0:16:29 > 0:16:33ended up getting a bit more than they bargained for.
0:16:33 > 0:16:35As well as the usual electronics and jewellery,
0:16:35 > 0:16:38they came across three boxes of white powder
0:16:38 > 0:16:41in the closet of the homeowner's bedroom.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45Assuming them to be drugs, they took the boxes with them
0:16:45 > 0:16:48and snorted the powder later that evening.
0:16:48 > 0:16:52To their disappointment, they didn't even get a little bit high.
0:16:52 > 0:16:54It was only later, after they'd been arrested,
0:16:54 > 0:16:56that sheriffs told them the truth -
0:16:56 > 0:16:59they had in fact shoved up their nose
0:16:59 > 0:17:02the cremated ashes of the homeowner's dead father,
0:17:02 > 0:17:05and his two beloved Great Danes.
0:17:05 > 0:17:07Woof-woof.
0:17:07 > 0:17:08OK, listen up.
0:17:08 > 0:17:12It's that time of the show when we look at some of those people
0:17:12 > 0:17:15breaking the law, and I get angry - I hate criminals.
0:17:15 > 0:17:18I'm going to take a deep breath, you watch these clips.
0:17:27 > 0:17:28Florida, USA.
0:17:30 > 0:17:33These two criminals are trying to run through a door
0:17:33 > 0:17:34so they can rob a house.
0:17:41 > 0:17:44The only thing they're going to run into is the law.
0:17:53 > 0:17:56Here's another lawbreaker who thinks he can take someone's money
0:17:56 > 0:17:57and get away with it.
0:17:57 > 0:18:02MUSIC: "Smooth Criminal" by Michael Jackson
0:18:05 > 0:18:08Once he's in, he can't get back out.
0:18:34 > 0:18:37Seems like this guy hates being trapped in a room.
0:18:38 > 0:18:40It could be worse. I could be in there with him.
0:18:45 > 0:18:48This thief saw an open window and tried to steal a mobile phone.
0:18:49 > 0:18:51He got stuck, bad news for him.
0:18:54 > 0:18:56Don't worry -
0:18:56 > 0:18:58where he's going, he's going to get one free phone call.
0:18:59 > 0:19:01Check this out.
0:19:01 > 0:19:05A burglar breaks into a store by smashing the door on the left.
0:19:05 > 0:19:08Then he tries to leave through the door on the right.
0:19:12 > 0:19:16If you listen to your parents, you would know wrong from right. Toerag!
0:19:20 > 0:19:24Here's a villain trying to break through a roof of a liquor store.
0:19:36 > 0:19:37Boom!
0:19:48 > 0:19:51He's broken in through the roof, now he can't get out.
0:20:02 > 0:20:03This looks like a bad idea.
0:20:14 > 0:20:16Send him to a maximum security prison,
0:20:16 > 0:20:19let's see if he can bust his way out of that.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27POLICE SIRENS
0:20:27 > 0:20:28Loser.
0:20:30 > 0:20:32I know what you're thinking,
0:20:32 > 0:20:34those were the dumbest criminals in the world, right?
0:20:34 > 0:20:37Wrong, have a listen to this.
0:20:41 > 0:20:44Two men were arrested for shoplifting in Oregon
0:20:44 > 0:20:47after potentially the worst piece of planning in criminal history.
0:20:47 > 0:20:51Having targeting a large superstore on a Wednesday morning,
0:20:51 > 0:20:55they proceeded to stuff their backpacks with blenders,
0:20:55 > 0:20:57shoes, clothes and electrical tools.
0:20:57 > 0:21:01They failed to notice at any stage during their robbery
0:21:01 > 0:21:04that it was in fact 'Shop with a Cop Day' at the store,
0:21:04 > 0:21:07in which local school children were being shown around
0:21:07 > 0:21:10by more than 60 uniformed policemen.
0:21:10 > 0:21:12In addition to the cops,
0:21:12 > 0:21:15there were also police canine units patrolling the aisles,
0:21:15 > 0:21:19and several mounted policemen waiting outside,
0:21:19 > 0:21:21as well as the store's own security guards.
0:21:22 > 0:21:26The two shoplifters were duly spotted and arrested,
0:21:26 > 0:21:29while a clown entertained the children with some balloons.
0:21:29 > 0:21:31The men later admitted
0:21:31 > 0:21:35that it probably wasn't the ideal time to carry out their crime.
0:21:38 > 0:21:42Crime don't pay - when you get caught, you're going to court!
0:21:42 > 0:21:45Here's five dumb things criminals have said in front of a judge.
0:21:54 > 0:21:56I know I was drunk driving,
0:21:56 > 0:21:59but I closed one eye so I wouldn't see double.
0:22:02 > 0:22:05I wasn't resisting arrest, I ran from the policeman,
0:22:05 > 0:22:07because I thought he was gay.
0:22:07 > 0:22:09'Ello, 'ello, 'ello.
0:22:10 > 0:22:13It wasn't me, it was my identical twin.
0:22:16 > 0:22:20I didn't mean to murder him, it was a joke.
0:22:23 > 0:22:27I forgot I was holding the gun, when I walked into the bank.
0:22:32 > 0:22:36Back in the '80s I invented something called a chainsaw.
0:22:36 > 0:22:39I had this idea when I saw someone using a chainsaw.
0:22:39 > 0:22:43I thought, "That looks like a good idea, I'm going to have that."
0:22:43 > 0:22:46Anyway, here's some people using them to cut down some trees.
0:22:46 > 0:22:47Enjoy.
0:22:55 > 0:22:57We're starting right here in the UK.
0:22:58 > 0:23:01This is a great example of how to fell a tree.
0:23:09 > 0:23:11And to get back at your neighbours.
0:23:12 > 0:23:14I think you owe Alan a new shed.
0:23:17 > 0:23:21That'll teach you for borrowing my hammer and not returning it, sucker!
0:23:29 > 0:23:32This guy in Mexico is pruning a tree.
0:23:38 > 0:23:40What?!
0:23:40 > 0:23:43Who's this guy? He doesn't seem to be helping.
0:23:43 > 0:23:46I think you could do a better job without him,
0:23:46 > 0:23:48send him home, he's just in the way.
0:23:50 > 0:23:53Taking your car down to the scrapyard can be expensive.
0:23:53 > 0:23:56Here's a cheap way to get it crushed for free.
0:23:58 > 0:24:00SCREAMING
0:24:01 > 0:24:03Oh, my God!
0:24:03 > 0:24:04She flipped out!
0:24:06 > 0:24:09You did, Mum, you flipped out.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15And here's another one.
0:24:23 > 0:24:25LAUGHING
0:24:25 > 0:24:28That did not work out according to plan.
0:24:28 > 0:24:30At least, I hope it didn't.
0:24:30 > 0:24:33If that was a plan, it was a bad plan.
0:24:33 > 0:24:34It ain't even a foot tall!
0:24:35 > 0:24:37Nice, yeah!
0:24:38 > 0:24:40When chopping down a tree,
0:24:40 > 0:24:44some people try to save money, instead of hiring a professional.
0:24:48 > 0:24:51That decision doesn't always work out.
0:24:56 > 0:24:58Error.
0:24:59 > 0:25:02I think it's time we saw some dumbness from Brazil.
0:25:14 > 0:25:17I like the guy who checks to see if there's any damage.
0:25:17 > 0:25:21Yeah, there's damage - a big tree fell on your truck.
0:25:27 > 0:25:29This is what happens when trees fight back.
0:25:32 > 0:25:34SHOUTING
0:25:38 > 0:25:41You do not want to get into a fight with nature.
0:25:41 > 0:25:43You are small and puny.
0:25:43 > 0:25:47Nature is powerful and overwhelming. Nature will win!
0:25:47 > 0:25:49Don't worry, he's OK.
0:25:50 > 0:25:51Colombia.
0:26:00 > 0:26:02Boom!
0:26:04 > 0:26:07Hey, suckers, look on the bright side -
0:26:07 > 0:26:11at least you've got some wood to build yourself a new fence!
0:26:17 > 0:26:19Look at these two guys.
0:26:19 > 0:26:23They're putting on a great show for all the neighbourhood.
0:26:23 > 0:26:25A tree, a ladder, a chainsaw.
0:26:30 > 0:26:34Who cares what's on the telly when you've got this going on outside?
0:26:39 > 0:26:41Here's a guy who thinks if you cut down a tree,
0:26:41 > 0:26:44he'll get a better view from his house.
0:26:46 > 0:26:48Here goes... and it's going the wrong way!
0:26:48 > 0:26:50Oh, my gosh!
0:26:55 > 0:26:57What house?!
0:26:57 > 0:27:01Well, that was not good at all. We just took out half the house.
0:27:05 > 0:27:08That's it, that's all we got time for today.
0:27:08 > 0:27:09I hope you enjoyed yourself.
0:27:12 > 0:27:15Respect the world around you, we all got to live in it.
0:27:15 > 0:27:18If everyone treated the world with love and care,
0:27:18 > 0:27:21this planet would be cool place to be.
0:27:21 > 0:27:23See you next time. So long, suckers.
0:28:04 > 0:28:07Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:28:07 > 0:28:10E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk