0:00:02 > 0:00:05The following show is full of fools doing very foolish things.
0:00:05 > 0:00:07Although nobody involved was seriously hurt,
0:00:07 > 0:00:11you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.
0:00:12 > 0:00:18Mr T is on a special mission. He's been searching far and wide
0:00:18 > 0:00:22Assembling an army of extraordinary individuals.
0:00:22 > 0:00:27People who boldly venture where others fear to tread.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30People who dare to do things differently.
0:00:30 > 0:00:34People who aren't afraid to ask questions like, "Can I fit in that?"
0:00:34 > 0:00:41"What's through that door?" And, "Do I really need a parachute?"
0:00:41 > 0:00:45He's found the stupidest, clumsiest, most dangerous people on the planet.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48He's found the World's Craziest Fools!
0:00:51 > 0:00:53Welcome to my show.
0:00:53 > 0:00:58Today we got fools from all over the world. That's right, no-one's safe.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00You think you're safe in Poland? Wrong!
0:01:00 > 0:01:03You think you're in Canada? Incorrect.
0:01:03 > 0:01:08You think you're safe in Scotland? Yeah, I'm talking to you, hiding up there in John O'Groats!
0:01:08 > 0:01:11Wait till you see what's coming. First, have a look at this!
0:01:20 > 0:01:24Working behind a desk can be satisfying and rewarding.
0:01:24 > 0:01:26There can also be some slow days.
0:01:26 > 0:01:31Thankfully every office has at least one crazy fool to liven things up.
0:01:31 > 0:01:34Here's a computer guy fiddling with some computers.
0:01:34 > 0:01:37GLASS SMASHING
0:01:37 > 0:01:40That's it, sucker, you show those machines who's boss.
0:01:40 > 0:01:43See if they try and break on you again.
0:01:45 > 0:01:50Just another day at the office. Sales at this company are going through the roof.
0:01:55 > 0:01:59Unfortunately the sandwich guy is coming down through the ceiling.
0:02:09 > 0:02:13Good work, soldier!
0:02:13 > 0:02:17Here's a couple of guys playing football.
0:02:18 > 0:02:20Only they ain't playing football.
0:02:20 > 0:02:23Football is when you put on a helmet and charge into someone.
0:02:23 > 0:02:26This is soccer, or lacrosse, or something.
0:02:26 > 0:02:30Whatever it is, they just turned their pitch into a swimming pool.
0:02:30 > 0:02:33I want 50 lengths by the end of the show.
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Here's a guy who's going home for the day.
0:02:45 > 0:02:49I think we just found out who leaves the kitchen in a mess.
0:02:51 > 0:02:53I'm Evel Knievel!
0:02:53 > 0:02:54A bike in the office?!
0:02:54 > 0:02:58This is a major violation of health and safety regulations.
0:03:06 > 0:03:10Now get another one. I want to see you two race.
0:03:10 > 0:03:13Check out this next guy. Bored at work.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17He decides to blow off a few minutes spinning around in his chair.
0:03:32 > 0:03:35He keeps spinning till he feels bad.
0:03:36 > 0:03:37Real bad!
0:03:42 > 0:03:48You better clean that up, and clean up your attitude while you at it.
0:03:48 > 0:03:52This pen pusher got a little too much time on his hands.
0:03:52 > 0:03:55Someone needs to give him some files to alphabetise.
0:04:04 > 0:04:08This footage is gonna come in handy when he has his office appraisal.
0:04:17 > 0:04:20Now look at what he's done!
0:04:20 > 0:04:23This is what happens when you don't have enough files to alphabetise.
0:04:29 > 0:04:32Have a look at these guys.
0:04:32 > 0:04:35They're on their way home from an office party in New York
0:04:35 > 0:04:37when they decide to start horsing around.
0:04:56 > 0:04:58This statue cost 2,000 to fix.
0:04:58 > 0:05:01You do the crime, you pay the dime.
0:05:02 > 0:05:04Now watch this.
0:05:08 > 0:05:13I hope you're gonna pay for that, fool, or at least make some sort of contribution.
0:05:16 > 0:05:19Being a fool isn't just nine to five.
0:05:19 > 0:05:25It's 24/7. Wrap your ears around this call to a supermarket in Wales.
0:05:25 > 0:05:27What the heck is Wales?
0:06:42 > 0:06:45I think he handled that pretty well, don't you?
0:06:45 > 0:06:48It ain't easy dealing with someone dumb on the phone.
0:06:48 > 0:06:51Sometimes the best thing to do is laugh about it.
0:06:51 > 0:06:53HE LAUGHS
0:07:26 > 0:07:29Aargh!
0:07:36 > 0:07:38Aaargh!
0:07:45 > 0:07:48Aagh!
0:07:53 > 0:07:54Oh, BLEEP.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59Oh, oh, oh!
0:07:59 > 0:08:01Oh BLEEP!
0:08:27 > 0:08:28Aagh!
0:08:28 > 0:08:30Oh, my God!
0:08:30 > 0:08:32Don't worry, he's OK.
0:08:43 > 0:08:45SHE SCREAMS
0:08:50 > 0:08:51Take a look at this.
0:08:51 > 0:08:52What do you see?
0:08:52 > 0:08:56A harmless glass of water, right? Wrong.
0:08:56 > 0:08:59Water's one of the most dangerous substances known to man.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01It's mean, it's ruthless,
0:09:01 > 0:09:04it makes fools of us all. Here's the evidence.
0:09:13 > 0:09:16This boat thinks it can make it under the bridge.
0:09:24 > 0:09:25It can't.
0:09:27 > 0:09:31This captain is smart. Now he's only got half the boat to look after.
0:09:31 > 0:09:34He just made his job much easier.
0:09:34 > 0:09:37Argentina, and this fool's about to launch
0:09:37 > 0:09:39his brand new 2m yacht.
0:09:49 > 0:09:50Congratulations.
0:09:50 > 0:09:53You are now the proud owner of a submarine.
0:10:00 > 0:10:02Error!
0:10:04 > 0:10:08This helicopter in Italy is trying to help a boat that has broken down.
0:10:17 > 0:10:20These guys are showing solidarity.
0:10:22 > 0:10:25You were in trouble, now we're in trouble, too.
0:10:25 > 0:10:27Let's all be in trouble together.
0:10:30 > 0:10:34The Netherlands. Here's a guy trying a new approach to boat launching.
0:10:40 > 0:10:42Next time, stick to the basics.
0:10:42 > 0:10:45Boats are for water, not land.
0:10:45 > 0:10:49If you want a big vehicle for land, buy a monster truck.
0:10:49 > 0:10:51Now take a look at these fools.
0:11:06 > 0:11:09That did not work out according to plan.
0:11:09 > 0:11:13At least, I hope it didn't. If that was the plan, it was a bad plan.
0:11:17 > 0:11:22Ferry crossing can be dull, but this company has livened things up a bit
0:11:22 > 0:11:25by not screwing down their furniture.
0:11:44 > 0:11:51If this is likely to happen, I would advise finding a different to travel from A to B.
0:11:51 > 0:11:54I would also consider how much I wanted to get to B in the first place,
0:11:54 > 0:11:57and maybe think about staying in A.
0:11:57 > 0:12:02Can what you want to do in B be done in A remotely?
0:12:02 > 0:12:07If so, A looks like a pretty good place to remain in.
0:12:07 > 0:12:10Next up, this happens.
0:12:29 > 0:12:32Take care when docking your boat.
0:12:32 > 0:12:38If you're not sure what land is, it's the brown stuff that comes after the blue stuff.
0:12:41 > 0:12:43Nova Scotia.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46This ferry is pulling away from the harbour,
0:12:46 > 0:12:51but somebody forgot to untie the rope to the truck!
0:12:59 > 0:13:01Fool!
0:13:01 > 0:13:02SEAGULLS CAW
0:13:04 > 0:13:06Even the seagulls are laughing.
0:13:08 > 0:13:11You know things are bad when nature is mocking you.
0:13:13 > 0:13:16This is Allanburg Bridge in Canada.
0:13:30 > 0:13:33What does the P stand for?
0:13:33 > 0:13:36Please don't crash me into a bridge.
0:13:37 > 0:13:39Too late, sucker.
0:13:41 > 0:13:43Don't worry, everyone's OK.
0:13:45 > 0:13:48Being on a boat can bring out the fool in you.
0:13:48 > 0:13:50Sometimes it can bring out the fool in you
0:13:50 > 0:13:53before you even made it to the sea. Listen to this!
0:13:57 > 0:14:03On Lake Isabella in California, a woman appeared to be having problems with her new boat.
0:14:03 > 0:14:09Having launched it into the water, she found the 22-foot yacht sluggish and difficult to manoeuvre.
0:14:09 > 0:14:14No matter how much throttle she applied, it just wouldn't go any faster.
0:14:14 > 0:14:18Seeing her having trouble, one of the marina workers offered to jump
0:14:18 > 0:14:21into the water and check the underside of her boat.
0:14:21 > 0:14:25When he resurfaced, he almost choked because he was laughing so hard.
0:14:25 > 0:14:29Under the boat, strapped securely in place, was the woman's car.
0:14:29 > 0:14:33She had forgotten to unattach the trailer.
0:14:35 > 0:14:39There are lots of things that can go wrong on a boat.
0:14:39 > 0:14:41Five tips on how to be a good sailor coming at you now.
0:14:46 > 0:14:52Number one, be careful when launching your boat.
0:14:52 > 0:14:57If you find a halibut down your trousers, you've probably done something wrong.
0:14:57 > 0:15:00Number two, be sure to wear the correct clothing.
0:15:00 > 0:15:03This may look like a harmless bit of fun,
0:15:03 > 0:15:06but he won't be smiling when that speed boat takes off.
0:15:06 > 0:15:11Number three, always make sure that your boat is in fact a boat,
0:15:11 > 0:15:14and not a car.
0:15:14 > 0:15:17If it's got furry dice, an A-Z and a tin of cough drops
0:15:17 > 0:15:21in the glove compartment, you've probably boarded the wrong vessel.
0:15:21 > 0:15:25Number four, brush up on your navigation skills.
0:15:25 > 0:15:28If you find yourself outside a branch of the Post Office,
0:15:28 > 0:15:29you're probably lost.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33Number five, be careful who you invite on board.
0:15:33 > 0:15:38If you see Ann Widdecombe's name on the passenger list, make sure she's sitting in the middle.
0:15:42 > 0:15:45There's only one way to really be safe and stay on dry land.
0:15:45 > 0:15:49Remember, people, stay afloat, avoid the boat.
0:15:55 > 0:15:58Everyone needs to refuel from time to time.
0:15:58 > 0:16:02Me, I like to fill up on bananas and tasty protein shakes.
0:16:02 > 0:16:04If you're a car, you're gonna need petrol.
0:16:04 > 0:16:08That means going to a petrol station. Check this out.
0:16:10 > 0:16:14Here's a guy who got a great new way to save money on petrol.
0:16:14 > 0:16:16Leave the handbrake off your car.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38No car, no petrol.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40I call that a win.
0:16:55 > 0:17:01This German lady has parked her car on the wrong side. Now she's trying to wrestle the hose around.
0:17:09 > 0:17:15I used to be a wrestler, and I've got to tell you, this lady has invented some powerful new moves.
0:17:18 > 0:17:24By the way, if you don't know that I used to be a wrestler, check out my muscles when the camera pulls back.
0:17:24 > 0:17:26They are pretty insane.
0:17:29 > 0:17:33Ever wondered what happened when you press the red button marked "Fire" at a petrol station?
0:17:38 > 0:17:42This lady just pressed the button by mistake and solved the mystery.
0:17:46 > 0:17:50Here's a guy minding his own business
0:17:50 > 0:17:54when a tyre comes from nowhere and knocks him off his feet.
0:17:57 > 0:18:00A lesson here, always be vigilant.
0:18:00 > 0:18:05You never know where attack is coming from.
0:18:07 > 0:18:11Here's a guy who drives away from the petrol pump with the nozzle still attached.
0:18:18 > 0:18:23Next time he visits a gas station, he'll save time by bringing his own hose.
0:18:27 > 0:18:33A gas station shop. Keep your eye on the lady who just paid for her gas.
0:18:36 > 0:18:42The guy behind the counter must've said "come again soon", because here she comes.
0:18:46 > 0:18:49Maybe she forgot her change, or she wanted to buy a protein shake.
0:18:49 > 0:18:54Those things are tasty, but they make you do crazy stuff.
0:18:59 > 0:19:03OK, you've seen some clips of craziness at petrol stations,
0:19:03 > 0:19:07now listen to this real life story from Slovakia.
0:19:07 > 0:19:14If you don't know where Slovakia is, pay more attention in school.
0:19:14 > 0:19:21A 30-year-old Slovakian man was driving when he realised his fuel gauge was broken.
0:19:21 > 0:19:25Passing a service station, he decided to stop to be on the safe side.
0:19:25 > 0:19:29He than realised he had no way of knowing whether he needed any petrol...
0:19:29 > 0:19:32it was just too dark to see inside the tank.
0:19:32 > 0:19:39That's when he came up with the genius idea of using a cigarette lighter to illuminate the gloom.
0:19:39 > 0:19:44To the man's surprise, the fuel tank ignited and the car blew up.
0:19:44 > 0:19:48The blast demolished most of the petrol station, but luckily
0:19:48 > 0:19:52nobody was hurt and the man escaped with minor burns.
0:19:52 > 0:19:56He has been charged with endangering public safety.
0:19:56 > 0:20:00All these dumb suckers, going to petrol stations.
0:20:00 > 0:20:03I got to say, I pity the fuel.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05HE LAUGHS
0:20:05 > 0:20:07You best be laughing at my jokes.
0:20:12 > 0:20:17I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, "I'd love to be a crane driver."
0:20:17 > 0:20:22I suggest you abandon that dream right now, cos you never ever gonna be as entertaining as these people.
0:20:24 > 0:20:26This is footage from a street in Egypt.
0:20:26 > 0:20:29A crane is trying to lift a steam roller.
0:20:35 > 0:20:37Lifting is when things go upward.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41This is called dropping. Dropping is more of a downward manoeuvre.
0:20:41 > 0:20:42I don't advise it.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Boom!
0:20:49 > 0:20:53Here's another crane, knocking a building down.
0:20:53 > 0:20:57This was this guy's first day on the job.
0:21:00 > 0:21:02It also was his last.
0:21:07 > 0:21:11You are looking at a crane lifting a slightly smaller crane.
0:21:16 > 0:21:20Now you're looking at two broken cranes.
0:21:20 > 0:21:23If the goal here was to destroy all the vehicles in the yard,
0:21:23 > 0:21:28then this crane driver succeeded outstandingly.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31The United States of Portugal.
0:21:31 > 0:21:33These guys are lifting their truck down by the docks.
0:21:40 > 0:21:43Perfect. That's exactly where I wanted it.
0:21:43 > 0:21:46Let's call that lunch.
0:21:46 > 0:21:49Here's a crane lifting some boxes.
0:21:59 > 0:22:06Again, this is more of a dropping vibe than a lifting vibe.
0:22:06 > 0:22:09Why are people finding this so difficult?
0:22:11 > 0:22:15Ohio. This smokestack is about to be demolished.
0:22:15 > 0:22:17EXPLOSION
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Wrong way.
0:22:25 > 0:22:27No!
0:22:27 > 0:22:30Get out of here! Get out of here!
0:22:36 > 0:22:40As you can tell, it was supposed to fall the other way,
0:22:40 > 0:22:42but where's the fun in that?
0:22:43 > 0:22:46Don't worry, everyone's OK.
0:22:46 > 0:22:50This has been a educational day for those school children, and an exciting adventure.
0:22:50 > 0:22:54It's an edu-venture. I like that new word.
0:22:54 > 0:22:55Help me spread it.
0:22:57 > 0:23:01The foreman in the portaloo is about to get a nasty shock.
0:23:12 > 0:23:19Poor sucker. Someone needs to give this guy a hug, and then take a really long shower.
0:23:21 > 0:23:27Tucson, Arizona. They're laying the foundations for a new block of flats.
0:23:33 > 0:23:36Looks like the driver is the first guy to be moving in.
0:23:36 > 0:23:38So how do you like your new apartment?
0:23:38 > 0:23:41It's nice and roomy, but the view sucks.
0:23:46 > 0:23:48The world is fast and furious.
0:23:48 > 0:23:54It's hard to keep up with all the latest gadgets, like laptops and mobile phones and time machines.
0:23:54 > 0:23:58For those of you who struggle, here's some rules for technology fools.
0:24:09 > 0:24:13Rule number one, don't confuse a microphone with a mobile phone.
0:24:13 > 0:24:15SPEECH INAUDIBLE
0:24:36 > 0:24:40SPEECH INAUDIBLE
0:24:40 > 0:24:45Rule number two, don't confuse a microphone with a pepper grinder.
0:24:45 > 0:24:49Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0:24:49 > 0:24:51How do you do this?
0:24:51 > 0:24:52What is this?
0:24:52 > 0:24:54It's a microphone.
0:24:54 > 0:24:57- What?- Microphone.
0:24:57 > 0:24:58SHE LAUGHS
0:24:58 > 0:25:01I thought this was pepper.
0:25:01 > 0:25:06Rule number three, never trust your sat-nav on your mobile phone.
0:25:10 > 0:25:13This lady did and now she's in a fountain.
0:25:15 > 0:25:19Rule number four... don't do this.
0:25:23 > 0:25:24BLEEP!
0:25:31 > 0:25:32Boom!
0:25:36 > 0:25:39Rule number five, be careful when using an escalator.
0:25:40 > 0:25:44Make sure you know which end is the entrance, and which end is the exit.
0:25:45 > 0:25:48LAUGHTER
0:25:48 > 0:25:49Oh, my God!
0:25:51 > 0:25:53Fantastic!
0:25:56 > 0:25:58- Are you getting that?- I've got it.
0:25:58 > 0:26:00LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY
0:26:01 > 0:26:03Only in Glasgow!
0:26:06 > 0:26:10He must think this is the biggest stairs in the world.
0:26:11 > 0:26:13Now take a listen to this phone call.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17PHONE RINGS
0:26:26 > 0:26:29'Please leave a message after the tone.'
0:26:53 > 0:26:55That's the end of the show. Some of you are going to off your TVs and go to bed because you're good people
0:26:55 > 0:27:02and you appreciate the benefit of an early night.
0:27:02 > 0:27:05But before you do, here's my final thought.
0:27:05 > 0:27:07Whatever you do, make sure you've got a plan.
0:27:07 > 0:27:11If you fail to plan, you're planning to fail.
0:27:11 > 0:27:13See you next time. So long, suckers.
0:27:37 > 0:27:40Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd