0:00:02 > 0:00:05The following show is full of fools doing very foolish things
0:00:05 > 0:00:08although nobody involved was seriously hurt
0:00:08 > 0:00:12you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.
0:00:14 > 0:00:18Mr T is on a special mission. He's been searching far and wide
0:00:18 > 0:00:23assembling an army of extraordinary individuals.
0:00:23 > 0:00:27People who boldly venture where others fear to tread.
0:00:27 > 0:00:31People who dare to do things differently.
0:00:31 > 0:00:35People who aren't afraid to ask questions like "Can I fit in that?"
0:00:35 > 0:00:41"What's through that door"? and "Do I really need a parachute"?
0:00:41 > 0:00:45He's found the stupidest, clumsiest, most dangerous people on the planet -
0:00:45 > 0:00:48he's found the World's Craziest Fools.
0:00:51 > 0:00:54You're late! Where you been?
0:00:54 > 0:00:56I had a whole introduction worked out for you.
0:00:56 > 0:00:59I was gonna tell you about what's coming up on my show today.
0:00:59 > 0:01:03I was gonna say some stuff about crazy fools in general.
0:01:03 > 0:01:06I was gonna be funny and moving, I was gonna make you feel
0:01:06 > 0:01:09all warm inside like a rainbow on a sunny morning,
0:01:09 > 0:01:13or when you drink your coffee too fast, no time for that now.
0:01:13 > 0:01:14Let's get on with the show.
0:01:21 > 0:01:24Normally I got a lot of pity for people on this show.
0:01:24 > 0:01:28They do some stupid stuff but it makes us all laugh
0:01:28 > 0:01:29and there ain't no harm in that.
0:01:29 > 0:01:33But these guys are different, they got no respect for the law
0:01:33 > 0:01:35and I ain't got no respect for them either.
0:01:35 > 0:01:36It's criminal fools.
0:01:39 > 0:01:40Welcome to the USA.
0:01:40 > 0:01:46MUSIC: "Sirens" by Dizzee Rascal
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Look at this fool.
0:02:00 > 0:02:04Having broken a window in a fast food restaurant he realises
0:02:04 > 0:02:06he's too fat to fit through.
0:02:06 > 0:02:08He probably shouldn't have eaten all them pies.
0:02:08 > 0:02:11It's always hard to stop when you eating pies.
0:02:20 > 0:02:21Ohio.
0:02:22 > 0:02:24This lady got caught on camera
0:02:24 > 0:02:26stealing a fur coat from a shopping mall.
0:02:26 > 0:02:28# I can hear the sirens coming
0:02:28 > 0:02:32# Better run when you hear the sirens coming... #
0:02:32 > 0:02:35She stuffed it down her lady pants and hoped no-one would notice.
0:02:41 > 0:02:42But they did.
0:02:42 > 0:02:45Now she got a whole new outfit to wear - it's bright orange
0:02:45 > 0:02:47and it got numbers on it.
0:02:47 > 0:02:51Here comes another loser who likes too much pie.
0:02:51 > 0:02:54This one tries to break in through the roof and gets stuck.
0:02:56 > 0:02:59Looks like all that whipped cream has gone to his hips.
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Don't worry, fat crook, soon you'll be on the prison diet.
0:03:07 > 0:03:11Our next piece of television is from right here in the UK.
0:03:13 > 0:03:17This robber walked into a bank and hands a demand note to the cashier.
0:03:22 > 0:03:26When she presses the alarm he decides to run for it.
0:03:28 > 0:03:33His escape failed, when he tries to push his way out of a pull door.
0:03:33 > 0:03:35Who wants to be free anyway?
0:03:35 > 0:03:38Prison can be fun! They got great activities
0:03:38 > 0:03:40like woodwork and ping pong.
0:03:42 > 0:03:45I'm only joking. Prison is hard, he's gonna hate it.
0:03:48 > 0:03:49Check out this loser.
0:03:49 > 0:03:54MUSIC: "Cash In My Pocket" by Wiley
0:03:54 > 0:03:58He's broken into the pharmacy store by crashing through the roof.
0:04:10 > 0:04:11Now he can't get out.
0:04:14 > 0:04:15CRASH
0:04:19 > 0:04:20Nice going, sucker!
0:04:28 > 0:04:30You can try breaking all the laws you want
0:04:30 > 0:04:33but you ain't never gonna break the laws of gravity.
0:04:33 > 0:04:35This experiment will always end bad.
0:04:42 > 0:04:44Fools feed on foolishness.
0:04:44 > 0:04:48The "fooliness" of fools is folly.
0:04:48 > 0:04:51Fools die for want of wisdom.
0:04:57 > 0:05:00What do you do it you have a fool in your family?
0:05:00 > 0:05:03Pray for them, love them, but keep an eye on them.
0:05:11 > 0:05:14Wow, look at how stupid this guy is.
0:05:14 > 0:05:18He's trying to rob a grocery store with nothing but a stick.
0:05:36 > 0:05:38This could go on for hours.
0:05:38 > 0:05:41Let's stop watching this and watch something else.
0:05:43 > 0:05:46People try all sorts of different ways to rob places.
0:05:46 > 0:05:47Take a listen to this.
0:05:51 > 0:05:55Police in Poland were baffled by a series of robberies in which
0:05:55 > 0:05:58businesses were burgled with no obvious signs of entry.
0:05:59 > 0:06:03They eventually discovered that an inventive thief had been hiding
0:06:03 > 0:06:07inside large parcels and then posting himself to business addresses.
0:06:09 > 0:06:12Once inside, the 39-year-old man would wait until staff had left
0:06:12 > 0:06:17for the night before climbing out and burgling the premises.
0:06:17 > 0:06:20He would then make his get away by re-sealing both himself
0:06:20 > 0:06:24and his loot into another box addressed to his Warsaw home
0:06:24 > 0:06:27and waiting to be delivered to freedom.
0:06:27 > 0:06:31The ingenious scheme came to an end, however, in less-than-genius
0:06:31 > 0:06:36circumstances after he fell out with an accomplice over the loot.
0:06:36 > 0:06:38Instead of mailing him to his next target,
0:06:38 > 0:06:42the accomplice delivered him straight into the hands of the police.
0:06:45 > 0:06:49That just goes to show it doesn't matter how smart you think you are
0:06:49 > 0:06:52if you were really that smart you wouldn't be breaking the law
0:06:52 > 0:06:53in the first place.
0:06:59 > 0:07:02Now listen up, I may act tough,
0:07:02 > 0:07:06but even I know there are some fights you just can't never win.
0:07:06 > 0:07:10If you in a car and you try to take on a train - you gonna lose!
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Here's a driver at a level crossing.
0:07:14 > 0:07:18He's decided to play a little game called Beat The Train.
0:07:22 > 0:07:25Let me tell you something, fool, you got lucky this time.
0:07:28 > 0:07:29Costa Rica.
0:07:31 > 0:07:34Another fool is trying to beat the train, this time at night.
0:07:49 > 0:07:50What a fool.
0:07:57 > 0:07:59There are many different ways to stop your car,
0:07:59 > 0:08:01using your breaks is one.
0:08:06 > 0:08:08Driving into a train is not.
0:08:11 > 0:08:16The break option causes less damage I recommend you use it.
0:08:18 > 0:08:20Now take a look at this fool.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37Don't worry, he's OK, he learned his lesson.
0:08:43 > 0:08:46Remember, people - use your brains, stay away from trains.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52Back in the '80s, I invented something called the gym.
0:08:52 > 0:08:55People go to the gym to build up their muscles.
0:08:55 > 0:08:59Be careful, though, sometimes working out doesn't always work out.
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Here's some rules for gym fools.
0:09:11 > 0:09:12Rule number one -
0:09:12 > 0:09:16always check your equipment before you start to exercise.
0:09:16 > 0:09:20MUSIC: "Rock That Body" by The Black Eyed Peas
0:09:20 > 0:09:22CRASH AND THUD
0:09:24 > 0:09:26Rule number two -
0:09:26 > 0:09:28once you've checked your equipment,
0:09:28 > 0:09:30double check your equipment just to be safe.
0:09:33 > 0:09:35METALLIC CRASHING
0:09:39 > 0:09:41Rule number three -
0:09:41 > 0:09:43never take on a weight you can't handle.
0:10:03 > 0:10:05Rule number four -
0:10:05 > 0:10:07never use a machine you don't understand.
0:10:23 > 0:10:25Rule number five -
0:10:25 > 0:10:28make sure you clear a good, safe area for yourself.
0:10:28 > 0:10:30GLASS SHATTERS
0:10:30 > 0:10:32Mumma! Mumma!
0:10:41 > 0:10:42Rule number six -
0:10:42 > 0:10:44use professional equipment at all times.
0:11:01 > 0:11:03Rule number seven -
0:11:03 > 0:11:04get a haircut.
0:11:20 > 0:11:22Machines and long hair don't mix.
0:11:24 > 0:11:25CLATTERING
0:11:28 > 0:11:30Rule number eight...
0:11:35 > 0:11:37Don't smash yourself in the face.
0:11:42 > 0:11:44I know I look pretty good
0:11:44 > 0:11:48but not everyone with big muscles is a role model. Check out this story.
0:11:52 > 0:11:56A 35-year-old man in Cornwall was charged with fraud
0:11:56 > 0:12:00after claiming over £43,000 in disability benefits.
0:12:00 > 0:12:02The man had applied for the benefits
0:12:02 > 0:12:05after claiming he suffered from sciatica in his spine.
0:12:05 > 0:12:10A condition which left him with intense pain in his back and legs
0:12:10 > 0:12:14making it impossible for him to sit in an office or do manual labour.
0:12:14 > 0:12:17Police started to suspect he was lying, however, when he entered
0:12:17 > 0:12:21and won a Cornwall strongest man contest.
0:12:21 > 0:12:25During the competition, he excelled in a number of events including
0:12:25 > 0:12:30lifting two 50-pound gas canisters, dragging a lorry across a field
0:12:30 > 0:12:36and lifting a half-ton car over his head for more than a minute.
0:12:36 > 0:12:40His claim that he was on very strong pain killers at the time
0:12:40 > 0:12:41left police unimpressed.
0:12:43 > 0:12:46I like the sound of this strongest man competition.
0:12:46 > 0:12:47Where's Cornwall?
0:12:47 > 0:12:51I want to go to Cornwall! Are you listening Cornwall?
0:12:51 > 0:12:55You'd better be listening and you'd better be ready cos I'm coming!
0:13:00 > 0:13:04This next part of the show is all about car mechanics
0:13:04 > 0:13:06spending all day fiddling with nuts and screws,
0:13:06 > 0:13:09it's no wonder they go a little nuts and screwy.
0:13:09 > 0:13:11Take a look a these whack jobs.
0:13:12 > 0:13:15This mechanic has lost his spanner
0:13:15 > 0:13:18and look how far he'll go to find it.
0:13:19 > 0:13:21It's not down there. Keep looking.
0:13:24 > 0:13:26Here's a curious mechanic.
0:13:26 > 0:13:29He wants to answer the question we all think every now and then,
0:13:29 > 0:13:33what happens if I tinker with this little bit over here?
0:13:36 > 0:13:40LAUGHTER
0:13:40 > 0:13:44Remember that little bit always turns out to be an important bit.
0:13:50 > 0:13:53This guy's still looking for his spanner.
0:13:56 > 0:13:57It ain't down there, either.
0:14:00 > 0:14:06Sweet. These mechanics are trying to find out what's wrong with this 4x4.
0:14:06 > 0:14:11CRUNCHING AND CREAKING
0:14:11 > 0:14:14GLASS SHATTERS
0:14:14 > 0:14:18You dropped it on the floor, that's what's wrong with it.
0:14:18 > 0:14:22I'm glad I've seen this, now I know if I break down
0:14:22 > 0:14:26near this garage, I'mma pick up my car and carry it to the next one.
0:14:26 > 0:14:28I'll get it serviced there instead.
0:14:33 > 0:14:35This lady's coming for an oil change.
0:14:35 > 0:14:40MUSIC: "Tick Tock" by Keha
0:14:44 > 0:14:47Why not give yourself a reason to get a paint job
0:14:47 > 0:14:50while you're at it, save you from coming back later(!)
0:14:51 > 0:14:55This guy releases a car from the back of a tow truck
0:14:55 > 0:14:58and it rolls right over him.
0:14:59 > 0:15:02Amazingly, he then gets up and chases after it!
0:15:03 > 0:15:09This car is out of control, but if anyone can catch it, it's this guy.
0:15:18 > 0:15:19Here's a guy fixing a car.
0:15:26 > 0:15:28Fixing is when you make it better.
0:15:31 > 0:15:33This is called destroying.
0:15:36 > 0:15:38Now, how you gonna explain this to the boss?
0:15:45 > 0:15:47Where did I put that spanner?
0:15:50 > 0:15:51Maybe I left it here.
0:15:55 > 0:15:56Maybe not.
0:16:02 > 0:16:05What do you want to be when you grow up? A car mechanic?
0:16:05 > 0:16:08A policeman? An astronaut?
0:16:08 > 0:16:11Whatever your dreams are, you won't achieve them
0:16:11 > 0:16:15unless you pay attention in school. Here's five dumb exam answers.
0:16:15 > 0:16:19Five Dumb Answers Given In GCSE Exams.
0:16:19 > 0:16:20Number one.
0:16:20 > 0:16:22What does the word "monotony" mean?
0:16:22 > 0:16:29Monotony means being married to the same person for all your life.
0:16:29 > 0:16:30Number two.
0:16:30 > 0:16:31Name the four seasons.
0:16:31 > 0:16:36Salt, mustard, pepper, vinegar.
0:16:36 > 0:16:38Number three.
0:16:38 > 0:16:40What is momentum?
0:16:40 > 0:16:43What you give a person when they're going away.
0:16:44 > 0:16:46Number four.
0:16:46 > 0:16:49How important are elections to a democratic society?
0:16:49 > 0:16:50Very important.
0:16:50 > 0:16:54Sex can only happen when a male gets an election.
0:16:55 > 0:16:56Number five.
0:16:56 > 0:16:57What's a Hindu?
0:16:57 > 0:17:00It lays eggs.
0:17:02 > 0:17:05Those answers may make you smile
0:17:05 > 0:17:08but there's nothing funny about messing up your exams.
0:17:08 > 0:17:11Don't be a fool, work hard and stay in school.
0:17:11 > 0:17:13Also, treat your mother right.
0:17:20 > 0:17:23MUSIC: "Bonkers" by Dizzee Rascal
0:17:41 > 0:17:43Twist it!
0:17:43 > 0:17:44LAUGHTER
0:17:44 > 0:17:47SCREAMING
0:17:53 > 0:17:55Oh! God!
0:18:07 > 0:18:09I got it, I got it!
0:18:11 > 0:18:14I'm good! I'm good.
0:18:56 > 0:18:57LAUGHTER
0:19:11 > 0:19:15- Holy- BLEEP!
0:19:20 > 0:19:22Do it again! Quick!
0:19:22 > 0:19:24Here we go.
0:19:26 > 0:19:27Ooh!
0:19:27 > 0:19:31Ooh! Oh-ho!
0:19:31 > 0:19:35If you like to drink, sometimes it's hard to know when to stop.
0:19:35 > 0:19:38The correct answer is about 10 drinks before any of these guys.
0:19:38 > 0:19:40Take a look at this.
0:19:46 > 0:19:49When you are drunk, everyday objects like bins and trees
0:19:49 > 0:19:52and lampposts become dangerous enemies.
0:19:58 > 0:20:02This man saw two lampposts and went for the gap in the middle.
0:20:02 > 0:20:05Not a great move.
0:20:05 > 0:20:08Here's a drunk guy at a barbecue.
0:20:08 > 0:20:11He's about to see what happens if you pee on an electric fence.
0:20:13 > 0:20:14Argh!
0:20:14 > 0:20:18You dumb fool! You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
0:20:20 > 0:20:22Russia.
0:20:22 > 0:20:23This man is so drunk
0:20:23 > 0:20:27he don't notice he only has one wheel on his bicycle.
0:20:27 > 0:20:33# In the morning you know you won't remember a thing... #
0:20:33 > 0:20:37If they had BBC Three in Russia, this would not have taken place.
0:20:37 > 0:20:41This man would have stayed home and watched Don't Tell The Bride.
0:20:41 > 0:20:43I like that show.
0:20:46 > 0:20:52If you had too much to drink, even the simplest task seems impossible.
0:20:52 > 0:20:54This man is trying to walk home.
0:20:56 > 0:21:02His commitment and effort makes him a model for perseverance.
0:21:02 > 0:21:06# In the morning you know you won't remember a thing... #
0:21:06 > 0:21:10His feet may not be working and the ground may be spinning
0:21:10 > 0:21:12but that doesn't mean he's gonna give up.
0:21:17 > 0:21:23# In the morning you know you won't remember a thing...
0:21:23 > 0:21:25Too bad he lives in the other direction.
0:21:28 > 0:21:31We're filming a drunk guy climbing on a car
0:21:31 > 0:21:33trying to get up on this thing.
0:21:33 > 0:21:35Look at this guy, he's drunk too much.
0:21:35 > 0:21:38Now he wants to climb to the highest point
0:21:38 > 0:21:41so everyone can see the dangers of drinking too much alcohol.
0:21:41 > 0:21:44He's denting the hood of someone's car.
0:21:47 > 0:21:48GLASS SMASHES
0:21:48 > 0:21:51- Oh!- BLEEP!
0:21:51 > 0:21:52The glass broke!
0:21:52 > 0:21:56'If only his ability matched his determination.'
0:21:56 > 0:21:58CHEERING
0:22:01 > 0:22:04This drunk is wearing yellow socks to alert the world
0:22:04 > 0:22:06to his shameful condition.
0:22:09 > 0:22:13He's also not afraid to throw himself around to draw attention
0:22:13 > 0:22:14to his disgrace.
0:22:15 > 0:22:21# In the morning you know it's going to be all right. #
0:22:21 > 0:22:23Now take a listen to this phone call.
0:22:23 > 0:22:25RINGING
0:22:28 > 0:22:30RINGING
0:23:14 > 0:23:19In case you haven't seen enough drunk people, here's some more.
0:23:21 > 0:23:29MUSIC: "Pass Out" by Tinie Tempah
0:23:31 > 0:23:32# Yeah, yeah
0:23:32 > 0:23:35# We bring the stars out We bring the women and the cars
0:23:35 > 0:23:38# And the cards out Let's have a toast, a celebration
0:23:38 > 0:23:42# Get a glass out And we can do this until we pass out
0:23:42 > 0:23:44# Let it rain
0:23:44 > 0:23:46# Let it pour away Yeah
0:23:46 > 0:23:50# We won't come down
0:23:50 > 0:23:51# Until we hit the ground
0:23:51 > 0:23:54# Yeah, pass out I've been famous
0:23:54 > 0:23:55# I'm sorta known
0:23:55 > 0:23:58# And if your son doesn't I bet your daughter knows
0:23:58 > 0:24:01# Check out my visual Check out my audio
0:24:01 > 0:24:02# Extra ordinary, yo
0:24:02 > 0:24:03# Hope you enjoyed the show
0:24:03 > 0:24:06# Yeah We bring the stars out
0:24:06 > 0:24:08# We bring the women and the cars And the cards out
0:24:08 > 0:24:11# Let's have a toast, a celebration Get a glass out
0:24:11 > 0:24:13# And we can do this Until we pass out
0:24:13 > 0:24:16# Let it rain
0:24:16 > 0:24:17# Let it pour away
0:24:17 > 0:24:19# We won't come down
0:24:21 > 0:24:23# Until we hit the ground
0:24:23 > 0:24:24# And pass out
0:24:24 > 0:24:25# Whoa
0:24:27 > 0:24:30# Whoa-o-o-o-o-o
0:24:30 > 0:24:32# Whoa
0:24:32 > 0:24:35# Whoa-o-o-o-o-o, whoa
0:24:35 > 0:24:37# Look at me I've been a cheeky
0:24:37 > 0:24:39# Man, look at all the drama
0:24:39 > 0:24:41# We started, now I'm in here
0:24:41 > 0:24:42# Laying on my back
0:24:42 > 0:24:45# Saying, DJ won't ya gimme one more track
0:24:45 > 0:24:47# Let it rain
0:24:47 > 0:24:50# Let it pour away
0:24:50 > 0:24:51# We won't come down
0:24:51 > 0:24:54# Until we hit the ground
0:24:54 > 0:24:56# Pass out
0:24:56 > 0:24:57# Let it rain
0:24:58 > 0:25:02# Let it pour away We won't come down
0:25:04 > 0:25:05# Until we hit the ground
0:25:05 > 0:25:06# And pass out... #
0:25:21 > 0:25:24That's the end of the show, I hope you enjoyed it.
0:25:24 > 0:25:26Here's my final thought.
0:25:26 > 0:25:28It's a good one today, it's gonna tell you
0:25:28 > 0:25:30everything you need to know about life.
0:25:30 > 0:25:34I'm gonna communicate to you through the power of my mind.
0:25:38 > 0:25:42See you next time. So long, suckers. Huh!
0:25:42 > 0:25:43# I pity the fool
0:25:45 > 0:25:47# I said I pity the fool
0:25:49 > 0:25:52# I pity the fool
0:25:52 > 0:25:54# That falls in love with you
0:25:56 > 0:25:59# That falls in love with you
0:25:59 > 0:26:03# And expects you to be true
0:26:03 > 0:26:05# Oh I pity the fool
0:26:06 > 0:26:08# I said I pity the fool
0:26:11 > 0:26:12# Look at me people
0:26:13 > 0:26:15# I know you wonder what they're doing
0:26:18 > 0:26:21# They're just standing there
0:26:21 > 0:26:23# Watching you make a fool of me... #
0:26:23 > 0:26:26Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
0:26:26 > 0:26:30E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk