0:00:02 > 0:00:05The following show is full of fools doing very foolish things.
0:00:05 > 0:00:08Although nobody involved was seriously hurt,
0:00:08 > 0:00:11you should not attempt to repeat anything you are about to see.
0:00:14 > 0:00:16Mr T is on a special mission.
0:00:16 > 0:00:18He's been searching far and wide,
0:00:18 > 0:00:21assembling an army of extraordinary individuals.
0:00:23 > 0:00:27People who boldly venture where others fear to tread.
0:00:27 > 0:00:30People who dare to do things differently.
0:00:31 > 0:00:34People who aren't afraid to ask questions like,
0:00:34 > 0:00:38"Can I fit in that? What's through that door?
0:00:38 > 0:00:41"And do I really need a parachute?"
0:00:41 > 0:00:45He's found the stupidest, clumsiest, most dangerous people on the planet.
0:00:45 > 0:00:48He's found the World's Craziest Fools.
0:00:51 > 0:00:55Are you ready for 30 minutes of crazy and amazing foolishness?
0:00:55 > 0:00:58You best be, sucker, cos you're watching my show.
0:00:58 > 0:01:00You're in MY world now.
0:01:00 > 0:01:03I found some wacky people for you. They going to blow your mind.
0:01:03 > 0:01:08I got fools wrecking cars, I got fools messing with sledgehammers,
0:01:08 > 0:01:10I got fools attacking lions!
0:01:10 > 0:01:12But before all that is this!
0:01:12 > 0:01:14ORIENTAL THEME
0:01:20 > 0:01:21Germany.
0:01:22 > 0:01:27This guy thinks he can break the world record for smashing coconuts!
0:01:33 > 0:01:35# I got it... heeeeeey!
0:01:35 > 0:01:38# I got something' that makes me want to shout
0:01:38 > 0:01:42# I got something' that tells me what it's all about. #
0:01:44 > 0:01:49My advice? Stick to peaches or bananas, or maybe plums.
0:01:49 > 0:01:55Basically any soft fruit. It takes strong fists to defeat hard fruit.
0:01:58 > 0:02:00Taekwondo.
0:02:00 > 0:02:06This man is about to unleash some fury upon a bunch of cinderblocks that were asking for it.
0:02:06 > 0:02:07HE SCREAMS
0:02:10 > 0:02:13Come on, man! Hurt those cinderblocks!
0:02:13 > 0:02:15They're mocking you. They're calling you names.
0:02:15 > 0:02:17Make them taste your pain!
0:02:21 > 0:02:25He's showing them mercy. It's the true sign of a champion.
0:02:25 > 0:02:28Sometimes it takes more strength just to walk away.
0:02:30 > 0:02:31Aii-ee!
0:02:34 > 0:02:35Hiii-ch!
0:02:35 > 0:02:37Time for some more tae.
0:02:37 > 0:02:42Work the shin. OK? Work the shin.
0:02:42 > 0:02:43Take it away, champ!
0:02:45 > 0:02:47OK. Going to try one more time.
0:02:54 > 0:02:55Yaaaaa-cha!
0:02:57 > 0:02:58Doesn't want to break, huh?
0:02:59 > 0:03:02Hey, who's back there in the background?
0:03:02 > 0:03:05Is that you, Balboa? I want you, Balboa!
0:03:05 > 0:03:09You owe me a rematch. Grrr. You're still dead meat. Grrr.
0:03:12 > 0:03:13Ahhh....
0:03:15 > 0:03:16Yaaaaa-ha!
0:03:16 > 0:03:19- Well, anyway... - LAUGHTER
0:03:19 > 0:03:23This guy is the master of suspense.
0:03:37 > 0:03:38Look at him teasing us.
0:03:53 > 0:03:56Stop teasing us and show me some anger!
0:03:58 > 0:04:03Conclusion: unsuccessful.
0:04:04 > 0:04:07Watch out for the guy in the background.
0:04:18 > 0:04:23Did you see him? Of course you did! Because I told you.
0:04:23 > 0:04:25Listening to Mr T always pays off.
0:04:26 > 0:04:29That was exciting! What's next?
0:04:38 > 0:04:40Life in the army can be tough.
0:04:40 > 0:04:43When you're out there in the field, it's cold, it's wet,
0:04:43 > 0:04:47and there ain't no hair gel. Here's a list of tips I put together
0:04:47 > 0:04:50to make a soldier's day a little easier.
0:04:53 > 0:04:58Rule number one: your rifle is your best friend. Treat it that way.
0:04:59 > 0:05:01# I won't let you in again
0:05:01 > 0:05:04# The messages I've tried to send
0:05:04 > 0:05:06# My information's just not going in
0:05:07 > 0:05:10# Burning' bridges shore to shore
0:05:10 > 0:05:11# I break away from something more
0:05:11 > 0:05:15# I'm not turned on to love until it's cheap
0:05:15 > 0:05:17# Been there, done that, messed around
0:05:17 > 0:05:19# I'm having fun, don't put me down
0:05:19 > 0:05:22# I've never let you sweep me off my feet
0:05:25 > 0:05:27# This time, baby
0:05:27 > 0:05:28# I'll be
0:05:28 > 0:05:33# Bullet-proof
0:05:33 > 0:05:35# This time, baby
0:05:35 > 0:05:37# I'll be
0:05:37 > 0:05:40# Bullet-proof
0:05:40 > 0:05:41LAUGHTER IN AUDIENCE
0:05:47 > 0:05:49APPLAUSE
0:05:49 > 0:05:52Rule number two: if your rifle is your best friend
0:05:52 > 0:05:55then your rocket launcher is your second-best friend.
0:05:55 > 0:06:00It's like the guy that WOULD be your best friend if your real best friend isn't around.
0:06:00 > 0:06:01Anyway, make sure it works.
0:06:05 > 0:06:07LAUGHTER
0:06:07 > 0:06:10Rule number three: your machine gun is your third-best friend.
0:06:12 > 0:06:13GUN RATTLES
0:06:13 > 0:06:16Look, all the weapons are your friends.
0:06:16 > 0:06:19That's what I'm trying to say. Treat them right.
0:06:19 > 0:06:27Rule number four: make sure you recce your terrain before attempting an assault.
0:06:33 > 0:06:36For future reference, mud is not so great to land on.
0:06:39 > 0:06:43# Bullet-proof
0:06:43 > 0:06:45# This time, baby
0:06:45 > 0:06:47# I'll be
0:06:47 > 0:06:50# Bullet-proof. #
0:06:50 > 0:06:57Rule number five: stay vigilant at all times. You never know when an attack is coming.
0:07:12 > 0:07:14Nice ass!
0:07:19 > 0:07:21Rule number six...
0:07:25 > 0:07:28..make sure you use your downtime productively.
0:07:31 > 0:07:33Rule number seven:
0:07:33 > 0:07:35if you're a pilot, check your brakes.
0:07:38 > 0:07:40Don't worry, he's OK.
0:07:40 > 0:07:41He got lucky this time.
0:07:42 > 0:07:45Rule number eight: if you're a foot soldier,
0:07:45 > 0:07:46check your brakes.
0:07:51 > 0:07:53Rule number nine:
0:07:53 > 0:07:56if I shout "Incoming!", hit the deck.
0:07:58 > 0:07:59Good work, Soldier!
0:08:02 > 0:08:06Of course, some people don't like the idea of being a soldier at all.
0:08:06 > 0:08:07Have a listen to this.
0:08:11 > 0:08:17In Poland, every young man is called up to the army at the age of 18.
0:08:17 > 0:08:22On receiving his letter, one bright spark decided the best way to get out of doing military service
0:08:22 > 0:08:24would be to fail his medical.
0:08:24 > 0:08:27Figuring a few nasty scratches would do the trick,
0:08:27 > 0:08:31he went to Wroclaw Zoo, climbed inside the lion cage,
0:08:31 > 0:08:33and began taunting a lion.
0:08:33 > 0:08:37He shouted at it, slapped it, and pulled its mane.
0:08:37 > 0:08:39The lion bit his arm off.
0:08:40 > 0:08:44The man was excused military service for the rest of his life...
0:08:44 > 0:08:48..but later admitted that the sacrifice was perhaps not worth it.
0:08:49 > 0:08:52The lion's lucky he didn't try and mess with me.
0:08:52 > 0:08:54Listen up, animals!
0:08:54 > 0:08:57I don't care who you are, or what kind of clothes you've got.
0:08:57 > 0:08:59If you try to eat my arm off, I'll eat your arm off!
0:08:59 > 0:09:01Got it? Good!
0:09:08 > 0:09:11The first question of the driving test should be,
0:09:11 > 0:09:12"Are you a fool?"
0:09:12 > 0:09:15If the answer's "yes", no vehicle's for you.
0:09:15 > 0:09:16Strap yourself in!
0:09:16 > 0:09:18It's time for some dumb driving.
0:09:20 > 0:09:22Parallel park, three-point turn.
0:09:22 > 0:09:24Reverse around the corner.
0:09:24 > 0:09:27Here's a guy who's bored of doing the same old manoeuvres.
0:09:30 > 0:09:32He's trying out a different manoeuvre.
0:09:36 > 0:09:38He made this one up all on his own.
0:09:39 > 0:09:41It doesn't have a name yet.
0:09:43 > 0:09:44It will!
0:09:50 > 0:09:52I hate ticket machines.
0:09:52 > 0:09:55They're always getting up in my face, trying to tell me who's boss.
0:09:55 > 0:09:58Sometimes you've got to teach them a lesson.
0:10:01 > 0:10:02That's right, ticket machine!
0:10:02 > 0:10:05You will think twice before messing with this lady again!
0:10:05 > 0:10:10Yellow ticket machines are just as irritating as red ticket machines.
0:10:10 > 0:10:12In fact, they are more irritating...
0:10:12 > 0:10:15because I hate the colour yellow!
0:10:18 > 0:10:21I once got so angry at a ticket machine,
0:10:21 > 0:10:24I smashed it up using another ticket machine!
0:10:24 > 0:10:26Then I was also angry at it.
0:10:26 > 0:10:28It was not a good day for the ticket machines!
0:10:31 > 0:10:34Next up, it's time for some pain in Spain.
0:10:41 > 0:10:42Boom!
0:10:42 > 0:10:44This guy's got the right idea.
0:10:44 > 0:10:47If you're parking your car, and there ain't no space,
0:10:47 > 0:10:48make a space!
0:10:48 > 0:10:52Sometimes you've got to take charge of your own destiny.
0:10:55 > 0:10:57Up next, it's a lady driving through a gate.
0:11:05 > 0:11:06I like this car!
0:11:06 > 0:11:08It just wants to have its belly tickled!
0:11:08 > 0:11:10Look at it.
0:11:10 > 0:11:13I want to reach right in through the television and give it a little rub.
0:11:13 > 0:11:16I'm not going to do it, though.
0:11:16 > 0:11:17I'll break the television!
0:11:27 > 0:11:29This car is far too small.
0:11:29 > 0:11:33There's no way you can drive a car like this!
0:11:33 > 0:11:36Even if you manage to squeeze yourself inside,
0:11:36 > 0:11:38you will never get your legs and feet in the right place...
0:11:38 > 0:11:40to push the pedals.
0:11:40 > 0:11:44And I ain't even going to think about how you're going to move...
0:11:44 > 0:11:45..the steering wheel.
0:11:45 > 0:11:47This car is dangerous!
0:11:56 > 0:11:57The lesson?
0:11:57 > 0:11:58Get a bigger car, sucker!
0:12:02 > 0:12:03Saudi Arabialand.
0:12:03 > 0:12:08These guys are letting their friend drive their car for the first time.
0:12:13 > 0:12:15LAUGHTER
0:12:21 > 0:12:23These guys must be good friends.
0:12:23 > 0:12:26Even though their buddy had no idea what he was doing,
0:12:26 > 0:12:28they let him try out their car anyway.
0:12:30 > 0:12:33Listen up, men. If you want to propose to your lady,
0:12:33 > 0:12:35then you better be a romantic about it.
0:12:35 > 0:12:38Buy her flowers, cook her a kind of light dinner,
0:12:38 > 0:12:42take her to a monster truck show, but above all else,
0:12:42 > 0:12:44make sure she's going to say yes.
0:12:53 > 0:12:56There's a little marriage proposal going on at midcourt right now.
0:12:56 > 0:13:00I really can't imagine doing that. That's under pressure, isn't it?
0:13:00 > 0:13:03Whatever you did worked. You're still married. How many years?
0:13:03 > 0:13:06- 40 years.- 40 years. People ought to be asking you how to do it.
0:13:06 > 0:13:08I tell you, if I did it that way,
0:13:08 > 0:13:13she'd have probably kneed me while I'm down there.
0:13:13 > 0:13:17You know what, I'm just waiting once for the gal to say no.
0:13:17 > 0:13:21- You know, that would be... - But she has to say yes there.
0:13:21 > 0:13:25She may say "No" as soon as they walk off the court.
0:13:25 > 0:13:27Oh, I think she's saying, "I can't do it right now.
0:13:27 > 0:13:33"I really like you a lot, but let's just be friends." Look at this, wow.
0:13:35 > 0:13:37Well, how do you like that?
0:13:38 > 0:13:44That young man, he'll properly get over it in 10 or 12 years or so.
0:13:44 > 0:13:48MUSIC: "She Said" by Plan B
0:14:25 > 0:14:29- Here it is.- Yeah, "Will you be my blueshirt bride?" Look at that.
0:14:34 > 0:14:38I guess she needs time to think about it. "Let's talk about a prenup."
0:14:41 > 0:14:47OK, Cathy, on your marks, get set, go! And she's off.
0:14:47 > 0:14:51Is she hot or cold? Let's hear it, fans.
0:14:51 > 0:14:56She's running around. Where is she? Where's the Chevy Chase Bank man?
0:14:58 > 0:15:03She's getting hotter. Hotter! Yo, she's found him!
0:15:03 > 0:15:08Congratulations, Cathy, you've just won a pair of tickets
0:15:08 > 0:15:10to a future Washington Wizards game,
0:15:10 > 0:15:13but Cathy, we have another surprise for you.
0:15:13 > 0:15:16Honey, honey, honey.
0:15:16 > 0:15:18CHEERING
0:15:18 > 0:15:20Honey, will you marry me?
0:15:26 > 0:15:27Ooh.
0:15:29 > 0:15:33We met here one year ago. Right in front of this synagogue.
0:15:33 > 0:15:38- And when we did, I was dizzy in your presence.- Say yes!
0:15:38 > 0:15:41- Dizzy in your presence.- Oh, my God.
0:15:41 > 0:15:45Caroline, I love everything about you.
0:15:45 > 0:15:47# Sweet Caroline
0:15:47 > 0:15:49# Ba, ba, ba
0:15:49 > 0:15:54# Good times never seemed so good
0:15:54 > 0:15:57# I've been inclined
0:15:57 > 0:15:59# Ba, ba, ba
0:15:59 > 0:16:02# To believe it never would. #
0:16:11 > 0:16:16Make me the happiest, most dizzy man in the world and, please,
0:16:16 > 0:16:17will you marry me?
0:16:20 > 0:16:23Caroline...
0:16:27 > 0:16:29What?
0:16:33 > 0:16:38Oh, my God. That is brutal!
0:16:38 > 0:16:41I feel for those men. I do.
0:16:41 > 0:16:45They got lots of love to give and there's nothing wrong with that.
0:16:45 > 0:16:49I hope one day they find someone who can love them right back.
0:16:49 > 0:16:50Now listen to this.
0:16:54 > 0:16:58An unhappily married couple in Jordan got a nasty shock
0:16:58 > 0:17:01when they both started cheating on each other at the same time.
0:17:01 > 0:17:07The woman secretly decided to seek a new lover on an internet dating site.
0:17:07 > 0:17:10Meanwhile, her husband had also decided
0:17:10 > 0:17:14to initiate a hot and steamy internet affair.
0:17:14 > 0:17:16Eventually, they both arranged
0:17:16 > 0:17:19to meet their new lovers for the first time.
0:17:19 > 0:17:22It was only then when they met up face-to-face that they realised
0:17:22 > 0:17:27they had in fact been cheating on each other with each other.
0:17:27 > 0:17:29The couple are now divorced.
0:17:32 > 0:17:37When you walk past a building site and you see a man in a hard hat,
0:17:37 > 0:17:39you know you're looking at a hard-working hero.
0:17:39 > 0:17:43I can't wear a hard hat myself because it messes with my hair.
0:17:43 > 0:17:46But that doesn't stop me from respecting them anyway.
0:17:46 > 0:17:48Building stuff can be tough.
0:17:52 > 0:17:56Pipe cutting can be boring work.
0:17:56 > 0:17:59This guy's spicing it up by combining it
0:17:59 > 0:18:01with a game of bucking Broncos.
0:18:01 > 0:18:05MUSIC: "Ain't No Other Man" by Christina Aguilera
0:18:08 > 0:18:11You see, a little imagination
0:18:11 > 0:18:13and suddenly pipe cutting is twice as amazing.
0:18:13 > 0:18:17This is a great day for pipe cutting.
0:18:17 > 0:18:20Take a look at this guy.
0:18:20 > 0:18:24He doesn't need a bulldozer. He doesn't need an axe.
0:18:24 > 0:18:27He doesn't even need a hardhat to demolish this house.
0:18:27 > 0:18:29All he needs is a rock.
0:18:34 > 0:18:36LAUGHTER
0:18:36 > 0:18:40Give me a rock and I'll conquer the world. Who said that? I did.
0:18:40 > 0:18:42Just now. Write it down.
0:18:53 > 0:18:56Belgium. These workers are trying to move a statue
0:18:56 > 0:18:59that's over 100 years old.
0:19:08 > 0:19:12Careful with that, fool. Some of the best things on the planet are old.
0:19:12 > 0:19:17You wouldn't do that with Bruce Forsyth.
0:19:17 > 0:19:18Look at this fool.
0:19:20 > 0:19:23"Oh, no, what's happening? I left the handbrake off."
0:19:42 > 0:19:45Trust in God, but check your brakes.
0:19:48 > 0:19:54OK, listen up. It's time for another of Mr T's physics lessons.
0:19:54 > 0:19:56A crane is parked next to a bridge.
0:19:56 > 0:19:59The top of the crane weighs 10 times.
0:19:59 > 0:20:03The bottom of the crane weighs two times. The bridge is 60 metres high.
0:20:03 > 0:20:05Here's the question.
0:20:13 > 0:20:15Where the heck is my keys?
0:20:15 > 0:20:18I'm sure I put them in my pocket this morning.
0:20:18 > 0:20:22Now I can't find them anywhere. Call me if you know the answer.
0:20:24 > 0:20:27You want to see something great? Take a look at this foreman.
0:20:27 > 0:20:30He's parked his car right where the smokestack's going to fall,
0:20:30 > 0:20:33just to entertain his men.
0:20:40 > 0:20:42That put a smile on everyone's face.
0:20:42 > 0:20:47They're going to work double hard this afternoon, believe me.
0:20:47 > 0:20:49Let me tell you a story.
0:20:49 > 0:20:53It's about a guy who met a girl and got her phone number.
0:20:53 > 0:20:56Then he called her up to ask her out. So far so good.
0:20:56 > 0:20:58This is what happened next.
0:24:00 > 0:24:04I want you to imagine you're on a boat in the middle of the sea.
0:24:04 > 0:24:07The water's rocking you from side to side.
0:24:07 > 0:24:11The wind is rushing through your mohawk. How do you feel?
0:24:11 > 0:24:16Pretty peaceful? Wrong. Danger can strike at any time.
0:24:16 > 0:24:20You're never safe on a boat. You should never have closed your eyes in the first place!
0:24:20 > 0:24:22Here are some rules for boating fools.
0:24:28 > 0:24:32Rule number one. Take care when docking your boat.
0:24:37 > 0:24:39If you're not sure what land is,
0:24:39 > 0:24:43it's the brown stuff that comes after the blue stuff.
0:24:43 > 0:24:45Rule number two.
0:24:48 > 0:24:53Be careful when moving about your boat.
0:24:53 > 0:24:55Are you all right?
0:24:55 > 0:25:03Rule number three, be careful when jumping into the sea.
0:25:06 > 0:25:10Rule number four, wear a life jacket at all times.
0:25:12 > 0:25:15You'll never know when the sea will claim you.
0:25:17 > 0:25:21Rule number five, don't drive your boat into another boat.
0:25:29 > 0:25:34He's a wrecking machine! He will knock you into tomorrow.
0:25:37 > 0:25:43Rule number six, boat time and disco time are two separate times.
0:25:43 > 0:25:45They should not mix.
0:25:45 > 0:25:47MUSIC: "Cupid Shuffle" by Cupid
0:25:51 > 0:25:54- Yeah! Oh,- BLEEP! BLEEP!
0:25:54 > 0:25:57Don't take a cruise on a ship of fools.
0:26:01 > 0:26:06That's it. The show is over. We have had an amazing time.
0:26:06 > 0:26:09We have laughed, we've cried, we've held each other tight.
0:26:09 > 0:26:13Before I say goodbye, I'd like to share my final thought.
0:26:13 > 0:26:17If you're going to be a fool, at least be a fool with dreams.
0:26:17 > 0:26:22Maybe then one day you won't be a fool at all. See you next time.
0:26:22 > 0:26:24So long, suckas!
0:26:24 > 0:26:30# I pity the fool
0:26:30 > 0:26:37# I say, I pity the fool
0:26:37 > 0:26:43# Oh, I pity the fool
0:26:43 > 0:26:50# I say, I pity the fool
0:26:50 > 0:26:56# That falls in love with you and expects you to be true
0:26:56 > 0:27:02# I pity the fool
0:27:02 > 0:27:09# Look at the people, I know you're wondering what they're doing
0:27:09 > 0:27:13# They're just standing there, watching you make a fool of me. #